25x04 - Sweet and Hot

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Hello ♪

♪ Hello ♪

♪ Hello ♪

STOOGES:
Hello.

[♪♪♪]

[PIANO SONG PLAYING ON RADIO]

♪ Let's fall in love ♪

♪ Why shouldn't
We fall in love ♪

♪ Our hearts are made of it ♪

♪ Let's take a chance ♪

♪ Why be afraid of it? ♪

[CHICKEN SQUAWKS]

♪ Let's fall in love ♪

♪ Why shouldn't
We fall in love? ♪

♪ Our hearts are made of it
Let's take a chance ♪

♪ Why be afraid of it ♪

♪ Let's close our eyes ♪

♪ And make our
Own paradise ♪

♪ Little we know of it
Still we can try ♪

♪ To make a go of it ♪

♪ We might have... ♪
[ANIMALS BRAYING, SQUAWKING]

[TINY SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

♪ Let's fall in love ♪

♪ Why shouldn't
We fall in love ♪

Quiet!
All of you, quiet!

♪ While we are young
Let's fall in love ♪

♪ La-da-dum-duh-dee
Da-da-da-dum ♪

[HUMMING]

♪ Let's fall in love ♪

♪ Why shouldn't
We fall in love ♪

♪ Now is the time for it
While we are young ♪

♪ Let's fall in love ♪

That was great.
That was great.
[CLAPPING]

Larry, you're back.
Joe-- Oh--

Boy, you got strong.

Larry.
Tiny.

[OBJECTS BREAKING]

Oh. Oh.

My cigars.
Oh, I'm sorry.

Skip it, honey.
You were terrific.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, Larry, it's so good
to see you.

Yeah, and you're a big
success in a night club.

I read your press notices.

Exactly why I came back.

To get you and your sister
to join my act.

I can get us some terrific
bookings in New York.

Well, sorry, Larry,

but we're gonna stay
right here on the farm.

Oh, sis, you--
You-You can't do that.

Certainly not.

With that supple voice
and that pretty face--

Oh, Larry, do you still
think I'm pretty?

I think you're prettier
than a spotted heifer.

That's the sweetest thing
you ever said to me,

but nevertheless, we're gonna
stay right here on the farm.

Think of the money
you'll make.
Eh.

Think of New York.
Uh-uh.

The theater.
Nah.

The lights.
Uh-uh.

The food.

Steaks that thick.

Great, big, gorgeous lobsters.

Chicken cacciatore.
[SIGHS]

Spaghetti Tetrazzini.
Mm.

And strawberry shortcake
with strawberries--
Hold it!

And whipped cream--
Stop!

I couldn't eat another bite.

Then it's a deal.
You've convinced me.

When do we eat?
I mean, when do we leave?

Right now.
Get packed.

Okay.

Hey, wait a minute.

You know I've always been afraid
to sing in front of people.

I freeze up.
I get paralyzed.

Aw, stage fright can be cured.

I know just the guy
that can do it.

Get packed.
Okay.

Hey, we're on our way.
We're going.

Oh, boy.
New York, here we come.

[LARRY GRUNTS]

Hey.

What's the--

[PAIL CLATTERS]

LARRY:
And this is the young lady I was
telling you about, doctor.

HUGO [IN GERMAN ACCENT]:
Pleased to meet you, young lady.

Please, sit down.
Yes, sir.

Gentlemen, take a chair.
Gee, thank you.

Here, here, here.
Please don't take them home.

Indian giver.

And so:
Your name please.

Tiny Landers.
Good.

Where you was born?

In bed.

Hm. No, no,
I mean what state?

Oh, uh, Kansas.

And what part?

All of me.

It's a good thing
it's a big state.

When you was a little girl
you ever did something naughty?

Well, once I drank
a bottle of ink.

Incredible.
Uh-uh, "indelible."

So far you understand.
Nothing.

Maybe you got a physical block.

I see.

Oh, my.

Where you got those
beautiful blue eyes?

They just came
with her head.

[CHUCKLES]

Please, my time is linament.

I mean, "limited."

[CLEARS THROAT]

Now, please, open your mouth
and push your tongue inside out.

Good.

[GRUNTS]

It's a good thing you
don't use binoculars.

No jokes.
Please, open your mouth.

I don't want to walk in,
I just want to look.

A-ha!
A-ha-ha-ha.

[LAUGHING]

What is it, doc?

Nothing. I just thought
of something funny.

[LAUGHS]
Ooh.

Please, go. Go.
I'll go.

Off we go.
[CRIES OUT]

Please, you come with me.

Also:

This way, over here.

Now, please, lie down.

Lie down?
But I'm not sleepy.

Please, lie down.

Yes, go.

Now, I give you some words

and you tell me the first thing
what comes to your mind.

So I say "Los Angeles,"
you say:

Smog.

Smog. Good.

Now, I say "giraffe":

Great neck.

Nein.
Ten.

Eleven.

Now you have got me doing that.
Now, please, pay attention.

The next word: "rock."

Roll.

Rock 'n' roll...

[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]

You know something?

I sing and dance rock 'n' roll.

But I am a much better dancer
than I am a singer.

Really?
I show you.

Very interesting.

Danke sein.

Come and tell me all about it.
Yes.

Please, lie down.

Oh, certainly.

Now, tell me, sir. Why didn't
you study music and dancing?

Well, you see, first I have
to study medicine and physics.

[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]

I am the doctor is it!

I am a dommkomf.

Please, you sit.

Now, you sit.

As I understand, uh,

your trouble is you cannot
sing in front of people, yeah?

That's right, doctor.

Then you are a necrophobe.

Say, watch your language.

Ach.

I believe we better
probe into your past.

Now, just relax and sleep.

Sleep and relax.

Relax and sleep.

Just sleep.

Sleep and relax.

Just sleep.

Just sleep.

[SCREAMS]

No, you don't. You're not gonna
jab me with that thing.

It is nothing.
Just a little sodium

pent-ten-ta-ten-ta-ten--
Truth serum.

I don't care what it is.
No needles.

I'm getting out of here.

BOTH:
Wait.

Don't get your brains
in an uproar.

Sure, there's nothing to it.
I'll let him inject me first.

Did you say something?

[GASPS]

Just a minute.
He's fainted.

Just a minute, I give him
artificial respiration.

Artificial? For what you charge,
you give him the real thing.

Go away,
you make me nervous.

Don't get excited, doc--
Who's getting excited?

Mother, oh, it's you.

Go away, you loafer.

Not so loud.

[SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]

Don't pick on him.
Give it to him, Larry.

Yeah.
He gave it to you.

Oh, shut up.
Outside.

All right.

Now, please, young lady,
no more nonsense.

And no more needles
and that's final.

Ow!

[GASPING]

Easy, easy, easy.
Oh, my--

I warned you not to jab
me with that thing.

Now I--

[GIGGLING]

Oh, I feel so silly.

I feel very, very sleepy.

Good, good.

Lie down, go to sleep.

[MUTTERING]

You are now drifting back.
Back to your childhood.

You are now a little girl.

Tiny is six years old.

What did you want
to be when you were six?

Seven.

Tiny is four years old.

What did you want
to be when you was four?

Seven.

You are in a rut.

Tiny likes to sing.

Tiny likes to play-act.

Tiny likes to...

I'm a little teapot,
short and stout.

This is my handle,
and this is my spout.

I can change my handle
and my spout.

What can you do?

[GIGGLES]

Very good, now,
sing a song for daddy.

Very well, but first
you must give me a kiss.

There.

♪ Yankee doodle
Went to town ♪

♪ Riding on a pony ♪

♪ Eating big, fat sandwiches ♪

♪ Stuffed with sliced bologna ♪

[GIGGLES]

Thank you very much, Daddy.

And now I will sing
a song for you

and I will accompany
myself on the piano.

Don't get too rough.
We just tuned that piano.

♪ Three blind mice ♪

♪ Three blind mice ♪

♪ See how they run ♪

♪ See how they run ♪

♪ They all run after
The farmer's wife ♪

♪ Who cut off their tails
With a carving Kn*fe ♪

♪ Did you ever see
Such a sight in your life ♪

♪ As three blind mice ♪

♪ Three blind mice ♪

♪ Three blind mice ♪

[MEN CLAPPING]

Come on, Tiny, sing some more
for Uncle Louie and Uncle Joe.

I can't.
I can't sing for people.

We ain't people,
we your uncles.

Well, sing.

I can't.

I can't sing, Daddy.

Dang-nabit, I'm gonna teach you
to sing in front of people

is it's the last thing I do.

Come along, here.

Ow! Ow!

Watch it, Horus.

Why, you double-dyed
villain, you!

[CRIES OUT, SPLASHING]

Dag-nabit!

I can't sing in front
of people, Daddy.

I can't sing in front of people.

A-ha.

It is an open and shut case,
inside out and upside down.

I can't sing in front of people,
Daddy, I can't.

Just forget they are there.

You see, you will
sing for everybody.

People love to hear you sing.

People love to hear me sing.

I'll sing for everybody.

I'll sing.
Ah, she is cured.

A success.

[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]

Yes, I love the--

Oh, get me a doctor!

Over here I think
is a splinter.

Here.

[UPBEAT SONG PLAYING]

♪ The heat is on ♪

♪ The heat is on ♪

♪ You better not get
Near my lips tonight ♪

♪ Got a kiss that's
Like a flame ♪

♪ If you touch my lips
You might ignite ♪

♪ And you would have
Yourself to blame ♪

♪ The heat is on ♪

♪ The heat is on ♪

♪ I wanna know if men
Are men or mice ♪

♪ Don't wanna whither
On the bough ♪

♪ I might have formerly
Been cold as ice ♪

♪ But I'm a forest fire now ♪

♪ Got an awful lot of oats
That haven't been sewn ♪

♪ They might start
A chain reaction and I ♪

♪ Might explode ♪

♪ The heat is on ♪

♪ The heat is on ♪

♪ You're gonna hear
The sirens howl tonight ♪

♪ Gonna see the building
Bounce ♪

♪ The lady's
On the prowl tonight ♪

♪ And behooves me to announce ♪

♪ The heat is on ♪

[RIPPING RHYTHMICALLY]

[PLAYING]

♪ The heat is on ♪

[GRUNTS]

[CROWD APPLAUDS]

LARRY:
Wow, listen to that audience.

Boy, we made it.
Tiny, you were terrific.

Oh, Larry.

You were so good and you
must never again be afraid.

In the whole world,

there is nothing
to be afraid.

Absolutely nothing.
[MOUSE SQUEAKING]

A mice! A mice!

[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]

A mice!

[ALL LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]