Arranged Love (2023)

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Arranged Love (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

[instrumental music]

[kavita] meera,

get out of the car.

[om] beta, please.

Do as your aunt says.

[kavita] you know, she's

always been like this!

Extra independent, overly

headstrong, all the time!

Well, then, you

should be used to it.

[gasps] move over.

[car door opens]

Mee...

Meera, meera, this

is a good boy.

He's studying to be a doctor.

Great! Maybe he can cure you

of your backward thinking!

Beta, why can't you just

meet with him? That's all.

Meera, we only want

what's best for you!

No, you want what's

best for you!

[scoffs] suresh, do something.

- I am switzerland, ma'am!

- I want a career.

I have dreams, so I

should get to choose.

So, choose. We've given

you so many options.

I choose me! I choose me.

No, no! No, no, no, no.

You can't marry yourself.

Why not? At least, I will

be with someone that I love.

You know, this love-jove

thing of yours...

So much for being switzerland.

What is the point of

knowing everything

About the person you

love before the marriage?

It's boring. Ask your uncle.

Do something.

- Beta...

- Come on.

- Beta listen, please.

- Meera!

[meera gasps]

God! Look at what she's done.

I want freedom.

Meera, marriage is freedom.

You will get your

inheritance and the freedom

To do whatever you want to

do after you are married.

Please, meera. I had

promised your mother

That I will see to it

that you are settled.

You know, she loved you.

She was worried

about your future.

Just meet him.

If not for me, at least for her?

[mellow music]

Okay.

Come on.

I don't care.

Just tell them, "yes."

What does it matter if I meet

them now or after the wedding?

[mellow music]

[kavita] this belonged

to your mother.

It's been passed

down for generations.

I'm sure, she would've

wanted you to wear it.

Kavita, it will take us

time to reach the venue.

- We also have to load the car.

- Yes, we'll be right back.

What should I do, suresh kaka?

The heart finds its own way.

We only need to listen.

[speaking in hindi]

[dramatic music]

[meera] dear groom, I know that

I have picked the worst time,

But it would be unfair

to you and to myself

If I let us go

through with this.

Dear aunty and uncle, I

hope you can forgive me.

[kavita] meera, why

is the door locked?

Open right now.

[intense music]

[rattling]

[groaning]

Uh...

Namaste, uncle.

Meera?

I'm sorry.

Auto!

[pensive music]

[upbeat music]

- Meera?

- How was the beta test?

Amazing, as always.

We even made a c-list celebrity

cry. It's a good thing, silly.

We wiped all her ex's

sabotage right off the web.

Everyone deserves

a second chance.

Meera. You got this.

There's a reason you're on

new york's 30 under 30 list.

Founder ceo who code their own

products don't just happen.

Silas averly won't

know what hit him.

- The tech is good, right?

- Mm-hm.

I mean, he's helped take

multiple companies go public.

Are we at that level?

He'd be crazy not to invest.

Oh, we need his investment

to get out of beta.

Hey, you think we went

too far with the sites?

No. It's personalized. These

people love personalized.

Even dawn likes it.

If our cfo likes it, you

know you're gonna be okay.

[instrumental music]

All right.

Greetings, my totally

platonic coworker.

Lovely weather

we're having, right?

I told him I don't want

a serious relationship

So he's been greeting me

with small talk all day.

Hm, sure. You two are so weird.

And you, girl, are

about to make history.

Okay?

- Oh.

- Hey, honey.

- Hi.

- Hi.

What-what are you doing here?

I just want to

wish you good luck.

Your big day.

Uh, uh, yes.

Thank you for the

abs of support.

Oh. Meera. Look alive.

Here comes dawn with silas.

Please disappear

immediately. Go, go, go.

Silas, this is meera

kumar, our ceo.

And leslie, cofounder

and marketing wiz.

- Ladies, this is...

- Uh, silas averly.

So good to meet you.

It really is, uh...

I'm sorry, my hands are covered

in a dense polymer lotion

That might ignite when it comes

to contact with greasy skin.

- And, well...

- Yes, of course.

Um, could I get you

something to eat or drink?

We're gonna order lunch.

I'm fasting.

The body goes into

ketosis up to 36 hours.

[pensive music]

Dear god, can we

just do this, please?

- Yes.

- Yeah, okay.

For centuries, people used

to just live their lives,

Make mistakes and

learn from them.

But these days, even the

smallest miscalculations

Can haunt you forever.

The naked pictures your

jerk ex put on p*rn.

Or that mugshot from those

drunken college escapade

In myrtle beach.

Honestly, any type

of humiliating thing

That shouldn't cost

you your career

And important

relationships in your life.

There are services,

expensive ones

That only the wealthy can afford

that can scrub information

From the net.

But we wanna bring

that technology

To the average person.

We wanna help

them... Start again.

Start again's algorithm will

quickly scour the internet,

And help suppress

harmful search results.

Essentially, you

get a clean slate.

To demonstrate, we've

spun up a few articles

About someone you may recognize.

[beeping]

Is that me?

I'm sorry, did you

fabricate pictures of me?

Yes, um, in this scenario,

you are an alcoholic

And a serial streaker.

And by the way, I made these

masterpieces all by myself.

[meera] these are some examples

Of the kinds of lies

that can get out there.

"start again" will

find sites like this

And make them disappear.

Using online

shredding technology

That is on par with the cia.

[pensive music]

[meera] just a second.

[beeping]

[music intensifies]

[phone beeps]

What did you do? Did

you publish these?

Why am I getting 50 google

alerts with my name on it?

No. This is... We checked

the code yesterday.

Everything was working.

What's happening?

Where's the freakin' remote?

It'll just take a few hours

to fix. It's a small error.

No. You'll pay for one of

these sites to erase all that.

The expensive ones.

The ones that work.

Or you're gonna have a

libel case on your hands.

Uh, silas...

Open the door. [sighs]

Silas, please.

Just hear me out.

It's a small error,

it's just a small...

[chris grunting]

Can you stop, please?

I'm, I'm trying to

do some work here.

[chris] so am I.

I got to keep trim, the

cirque isn't woke yet

To body shaming. Just a few more

and I'll be good to go again.

I'm glad you can fit me in.

[grunts]

Of course, relationship 101,

A.B.S. Always be supportive.

What's wrong? Maybe I can help.

Do you know 256-bit encryption?

No.

Then you can't help.

Okay, I may not know

coding, but I can do this.

I appreciate your

body. I really do.

It's just, I need to figure

out what happened here.

Do you want to sex

about it instead?

[instrumental music]

So, that table is

a rental actually.

Though it'll probably

be repossessed.

There's nothing wrong

with the demo code.

I've gone over it

half a dozen times

In the last few days.

I just spoke to our backers.

They put the next

drawdown on hold

Till we figure out

what went wrong.

Not to harsh the vibe, but

we could have been hacked.

Hacked?

Also, most of the engineers have

given in their two week notice.

If we were hacked, then the

underlying tech is good.

So, we just need to beef up the

security and prove it to them.

So... Is that like

a five minute thing?

A five day thing?

Is there anything we

can be doing to help

Besides sitting on

our asses waiting?

We can't do anything until

we can update our servers.

That costs. And we

need a team for that.

You mean the one

that's quitting?

There-there's gotta be a way.

[clears throat]

You know, I can see you

guys. What's going on here?

- I'm not calling them.

- "them?" who is them?

It's a long story.

Meera has an

inheritance in india.

Okay, I guess it's not

that long of a story.

- Great! Go, call them.

- It's not that simple.

She can't get it unless she's

married to an indian guy.

Yeah, she was gonna

get married years ago,

But then she ran away from it.

On her wedding day.

You could have

left that bit out.

You know, I knew

a runaway bride...

I am not a runaway bride.

We're running out of time.

I've got to go talk

to the accountants.

Meera, it's worth a sh*t.

Okay? There's nothing to

lose, except for what, pride?

Right?

[grunts]

Fine.

I just, uh...

I don't know what

I'm gonna tell them.

Kavita, come along.

Meera is calling.

What? What's she calling

for? She barely talks to us.

I don't know, but

I'm answering it.

Come.

Hi, uncle... Aunty.

How are you both?

Still alive.

Stop it.

Hello, beta. So

good to see you.

You too.

Um, now listen, the

reason that I'm calling

Is because I have...

Uh...

I have missed you.

And hopefully, that we

can have a fresh start.

I have been thinking about...

Uh, how much I...

Want us to be closer.

- That's it.

- Why is that?

I need a little

tiny bit of cash.

A little cash.

Ah, so...

You're calling us because

you want us to bail you out,

After barely talking

to us for years.

After leaving your groom

stranded at the altar.

- After...

- I-I was wrong.

And you...

You w-were right.

I'm sorry, I didn't hear that,

can you run that by me again?

You were right, and it

would be great if I could

Get my inheritance, if you

can't loan me anything.

[chuckles] well, I

didn't write the will.

You know, my sister only

entrusted us with it.

You can override it, right?

No, you know, there are many

things that I didn't agree

With my sister on, but

she was extremely explicit

About this part.

Also, beta, your mom didn't

want you to be alone.

You must be married to satisfy

the terms of the trust.

Maybe you can do something?

Uh, I can't.

- Uh, okay.

- Hey, aunty ji.

Uncle.

Okay, if I may just

advocate for meera here...

You need to advocate

for yourself first.

For the last four months,

I've been sending you

Good morning messages

every single morning

And not a peep out of you.

I expect a little bit

better from my nephew.

Meera can advocate for herself.

Well, the reason that I'm

actually calling is-is

Because I... [laughing]

I'm married.

Yeah, yeah, I'm married,

um, to-to an indian guy.

And you are going to love him.

Whoa, that's

splendid news, meera!

Why weren't we invited

for the wedding?

I wanted it to be a surprise.

Surprise!

When did this happen?

Oh, few months ago. Hm-hm.

Lovely, we're so

thrilled for you.

What lovely? We

haven't met them yet.

What's this boy's name?

Oh, aunty, don't get

bogged down in the details.

I, I will tell you

later. Question.

Um, you just want me

to send you a picture

Or, uh, can you

take my word for it?

[laughing]

No, beta. It's not so simple.

We are talking about

a lot of money here.

So, you need to come

home with the husband

Show us the marriage

certificates

Sign paper works

with the lawyers,

And then and only then

will you have your money.

[kavita] don't worry,

we'll arrange everything.

You just get here within a week

Because we're going

on a holiday soon.

Hm, call me tomorrow.

We'll discuss this.

Bye, beta. Love you.

How the hell am I gonna find

a fake husband in a week?

- Hello, how are you, yar?

- All good?

Yeah, that's great...

Aunty, I love your daughter.

This is probably how

your aunt and uncle felt

Looking at proposals.

[fake laugh]

Rakesh pillai.

Oh, rakesh pillai.

Okay, do not worry, your fake

future husband is out there.

- Maybe.

- Hi.

Little more, okay? Okay.

Just give me a moment

to-to internalize.

[clears throat]

[vocalizing]

You messed with the

wrong woman, aunty.

Hm, next.

[upbeat music]

on the b*at huh from the

mean streets of mumbai

I run k*lling makes

money but it's not fun

I had me some homies but

they got sh*t with a g*n

Yeah, bro. Are you okay?

- Peace.

- Namaskar, baby.

Mera naam todd... Hai

You're a white guy.

I just have one

small requirement.

Yeah.

Actually, I'm married

and I have six children.

No. Sorry.

[sighs] that's it.

We can try again.

Do another casting.

I think the polyamorous father

of six is your best bet,

Given you're near spinsterhood.

So, shall I block his dates?

The more I think about

the backend of the code,

Something is wrong.

Meera, focus. Fake husband.

Oh, honey. Don't

touch your face.

That's only gonna

make you break out,

You don't want that for tonight.

What's tonight?

The 30 under 30

cocktail reception.

Wait what? No, no.

I can't go to that. They're

gonna know I'm a fraud.

The whole industry is

full of frauds, okay?

So, how about you go full

elizabeth holmes on them

And get that money?

Hm-hm?

[instrumental music]

I feel like everyone can

see you right through me.

You better shove that imposter

syndrome right up your...

I mean, you're a genius coder

And you care about

the people you help.

You've created a deeply

impactful company.

The one that's about to be sued

By most important

investor in the city.

Details. [gasps]

I see some vc hunks by the

shrimp. Let's go get that bread!

Can I get a manhattan, please?

And could you move

those? Peanut allergy.

Is there a cherry shortage?

You already have three on there.

Hm, I don't.

[choking]

Wow! Rookie.

You can't even

hold your cherries.

Ha-ha, so funny,

except I could've d*ed.

We know honestly that probably

would've been salvation

From all these investor types.

Shuck, silas.

- You okay?

- Hm. So, so good.

Hm, do you mind staying

right there and blocking me

From that angle?

I'm rama, by the way.

Meera.

So, meera. What

are we hiding from?

The bringer of darkness.

Eater of worlds.

They call him the soul crusher.

He's on your 6 o'clock.

Wow. Intense.

So, what brings you here?

Wow! Pulling out

all the classics.

Um, I'm on the list.

Oh, what a coincidence, so am I.

What are the odds?

What do you do?

I run a company

called dinna time.

The celebrity chef

thing? I've used it.

Oh, you're the one!

How did you get all

the chefs on board?

Let me guess. thr*aten

them with hours of banter?

You know what, close, but no.

My parents wanted me to do the

stereotypical indian thing,

You know, become a

lawyer or a doctor

Or take over the family

business, but, um,

I wanted to do something else.

I know the feeling.

I love to cook and I

was a chef for a while.

Meet a lot of great

friends, celebrity ones.

And I guess, I realized that

I'd never be as good as them

So I did the next best thing.

Dinna time.

Might have easier just

to do the "indian thing?"

You know what, honestly,

it probably would've,

But, um, I guess

life has a funny way

Of making other plans.

What about you? What's your

30 under 30 claim to fame?

Oh, mine is an app...

That erases your past.

Wow! You know, I could

honestly use that.

I had this awful

hairstyle back in college.

Shaggy hair with

blonde highlights.

There's this photos on

facebook, it's pretty bad.

- He's gone, by the way.

- Who is?

Silas averly. I'm assuming he

was your "eater of worlds?"

- You know him.

- Yeah, he's one of my investors.

Of course, he is.

Uh, excuse me a moment.

Thank you.

Who is that?

Ah, the creator of dinna time.

Oh, he's cute.

[gasps] what about him?

- "what about him" what?

- Fake husband.

Uh, no, no, no. He has a job.

- Did you ask him?

- Of course not.

- I'll ask.

- No! Don't do that.

Hm-hm. [grunts] okay.

Hello, meera.

Silas.

What a wonderful surprise.

Um, what're you doing here?

Well, obviously, I'm

30 under 30 alumni.

But now I'm a mentor.

Of course you are.

- I'm glad you're here.

- Really?

It saves me the trouble of

having to serve you at home.

"serve you at home."

[clears throat] the papers.

This is your cue to

give her the papers.

Consider yourself... Served.

Have a wonderful night.

[leslie] meera.

I hear you're looking

for a fake husband?

He said yes.

Uh, are you serious?

We can't pay you much or...

Oh, no! You don't have

to pay me anything.

I go to india every

couple of years.

Maybe this will just

spice it up a little bit.

You have no idea how much

you'll be helping me out.

And if you meet my family,

You have enough spice

for a couple of trips.

Sounds like a deal.

Honestly, this is how I imagined

my wedding will always be.

- Fake wedding, marriage.

- Of course, yes.

Sure on the up and up.

Except for the lying and fakery.

Except for the lying and fakery.

- Of course.

- Oh, my god! I have a lot to do.

I have to tell my boyfriend

that I have a fake husband!

Okay, I'll see you all

later. Leslie. Please.

Thanks.

Oh, boy!

P ever.

This isn't a breakup. It's...

You said that you would

support me, right?

Like, a.B.S. Or whatever.

So I am supposed to hang out

with you and your fake husband?

Is this like a threesome thing?

What? No!

I'm confused.

I'll be back in like a week.

[phone dings]

Oh, yo! Damn, the cirque

group chat is going off!

Jebediah the tightrope guy

needs a sub for tonight.

"don't injure your junk

unless it's in the bunk."

That's what I always

say. Right, meera?

[phone ringing]

Uh, dawn? Hey, what's up?

[dawn on phone] silas

offered to drop the chargers

If we sell our tech to him.

No, no, no, no.

- We can't do that.

- [dawn] we can't?

That is definitely

off the table.

[dawn] we're running

out of options, meera.

Okay, bye.

[swooshing]

[upbeat music]

[woman singing in

foreign language]

Okay. What was meera state

champion of in high school?

Debate. She's so

annoying to argue with.

- Debate it is, for sure.

- Correct.

[leslie] yeah, no brainer.

[puru] oh, meera, are you there?

Can you hear me?

Dawn wants to give

the company to silas.

What?

It's the only way he

will drop the lawsuit.

Well, that brought

the mood down.

You have the fake marriage

certificate, right?

Uh, no, I think

that's in your bag.

Oh, right, right.

[leslie] thanks

again for doing this.

Hey, is gray really

your favorite color?

Or are you just

being a contrarian?

Ha. Ha. Just

remember the plan.

Oh, and share enough, so,

they know that you know me.

Are you, are you okay

with the boundaries?

You know, because of aunty...

Oh, yeah. We're just friends.

It's okay. I don't want

anything serious anyway.

Great! Me neither.

[upbeat music]

- Here goes nothing.

- [puru] bhaiya, how much?

[man 1] 300.

- Three...

- Wait.

There is something

I wanna give you.

What's this?

It's a ring, you know,

to add authenticity

To your elaborate and

well-thought out plan.

Whoa!

But, I-I didn't get you...

That's okay, when I realized,

I just grabbed at a duty-free.

I'm simple.

He's simple.

There is nothing

simple about that ring.

[sighs]

- Suresh kaka.

- Meera beta.

- I missed you.

- I missed you too.

This is suresh kaka.

He's worked with my aunt and

uncle since I can remember.

Suresh kaka.

[meera] he's basically family.

- I'll take your bag.

- Okay.

Now listen, I know, I told you

that my aunt can be very cold,

So don't expect,

like, a warm welcome.

Honestly, I'd be surprised

if she even acknowledged you.

- Just...

- [kavita] here you are.

Aunty...

Welcome, welcome.

[speaking in hindi]

- Hi.

- Hello.

- This is rama.

- Namaste.

I'm rama.

Welcome to the family.

Oh, what a lovely boy.

He knows how to

respect his elders.

Puru, you are looking

rather american.

Oh, you liking what

you see, aunty ji, huh?

Welcome.

Uncle.

You must be meera's

friend, the lovely leslie.

Oh, yes, that is me,

I'm the lovely leslie.

- Welcome.

- Our home is your home.

Please come on in, everyone.

Okay, perfect.

They are fantastic.

Wow! You didn't

tell me you left a

That was... Really dumb.

Really. Oh, wow!

Now, I want to know

everything about rama.

And why you didn't

invite us to the wedding.

Or didn't even tell us.

Please, forgive us, aunty.

Right, please forgive us.

It's actually entirely my fault.

Meera is completely

innocent here.

We got married in a hurry

Because of what

pandit ji told us.

Oh?

What did he say?

Well, he told us it's

very auspicious time

To get married,

maha sukhmuhurat.

Saturn, jupiter, mars,

venus, sun and moon

And stars were all aligned.

Uh, of course, I refused.

And I said that I will not get

married without the blessings

Of meera's family.

But he insisted and said

that maha shubhmuhurat

Is for that day only, and if we

don't get married on that day,

Our marriage would only

last only one life time

Instead of seven.

Well, I thought that was

a pretty good deal, so...

- I agreed.

- Wow!

I had no idea.

That's beautiful.

Anyway, I assured meera that

once you knew the truth,

You would understand and

you would forgive us.

Do you think I made the

right choice, aunty?

[mellow music]

Of course.

Mahashubhmuhurat doesn't

happen every day, does it, hm?

Truly is a miracle.

Oh, ya. There's no

other word for it.

This is my marriage certificate.

Um, no need to check it on

with lawyers or anything.

It's all in the up and ups.

Always in a hurry for the

most important things in life.

We have plenty of time

for that after the party.

- Hm?

- Pa-party?

What party?

You know, she's always had

this independent streak

About her. Come on, meera.

You don't think

after getting married

And coming all the way

from america to india

We wouldn't want to

celebrate with our relatives?

[laughing nervously] yeah.

[all laughing]

Of course.

Silly of us. [laughing]

Anyway, you must be so tired,

After the long

trip, so freshen up.

Take a nap and we will meet

right back here for dinner.

Yeah, yes.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Well, I hope you like what

I've done to your room.

Mm. You lovebirds.

Go on.

Puru, you can take her to

the second guest room, yes?

Okay.

Hey, your family's really nice.

[meera] nice? You

thought that was nice?

Oh, yeah. No, you're right.

They are very awful. They are

really, really terrible people.

Congrats, you're now

caught in her web.

You watch, now she's

going to try to control

Every aspect of your life.

Huh! Is this about the party?

Yes, two minutes here and

She's already planning

our itinerary.

And then she has the gall to

call me "too independent."

Classic. Who lights

candles during the day?

Uh, millions of

people, actually.

You know, for prayers,

for wishes, for love.

Look, I'll admit what you

did out there, impressive.

But this is a business deal.

And you're like my employee.

[exhales] okay, boss.

The reason that we're here is

so that I can sign some papers.

So that dawn doesn't

have to settle with silas

And then I can save my company.

Okay, so, could you just

not fall into her web?

Okay, sure. Next

time, I see her,

I'll watch out for those fangs

when she offers me ladoo.

See this? This

is my nightmare.

This is your night...

Roses are your nightmare?

Yes. It's all

so... Presumptuous!

What, that we're

newlyweds in love?

Instead of employee, employer?

I mean, I wonder who

could've given her that idea?

Hm. You know what, whatever.

Uh, I'm gonna get changed,

'cause I've been in

these clothes forever

And I gotta get in

touch with the office.

So...

[sighs]

I'm sorry.

My aunt just knows how

to get under my skin.

[perky music]

- [meera] I appreciate you.

- Appreciate you, too.

Also, I'm taking the bed.

[instrumental music]

[rama] and I just

spilled the whole thing.

And that's how I made gordon

ramsey cry in his own kitchen.

You know, I-I realized like most

people who hide behind bravado,

There is a scared little

child who fears rejection.

Ah. Another great

story. And how true.

You have such amazing stories.

Unlike meera, who is

always sulking at the table

Like she is doing now.

Okay, I-I'm not sulking.

Uh, it is, it's just...

[coughs] so spicy.

[coughs]

I love it.

Yeah, it's not spicy at all.

Yeah. I find that indian

food has an evolving heat.

Whereas american heat

just kind of bashes you

In the face with cayenne.

Lacks the sultry sophistication

of kashmiri red chili.

Exactly!

Meera, it must be so nice

to have a man who has taste.

[chuckling]

How did the two of

you meet? Do tell.

- At a party.

- Online.

Um, actually, I saw

her photo online.

You know, she is in

new york's 30 under 30?

Really?

- Our meera?

- [rama] oh, yes.

She's very modest about

her accomplishments.

- Much like you, aunty.

- Oh! Yes.

I've been known

to be very humble.

Um, anyway, I was at a party

one evening and she was there.

And I swear, it was as if

the air in the room shifted

The moment that she walked in.

You know how in our bollywood

movies there's that moment

Where a love song plays

And all our hero

sees is his heroine?

And the tide of his

life suddenly veers.

Well, it was exactly like that.

I approached her and when

I looked into her eyes,

They were like warm

pools of sunshine

That I could lose myself in.

And when she touched

my hand, it...

I felt as if a thousand

arrows from kamadeva's bow

Had just come straight

into my heart.

Hm.

Oh, kamadeva is the og cupid.

But instead of

being a chubby baby,

He's a handsome young man.

And his arrows are

made of flowers.

I love flowers.

Well, needless to

say, I was smitten.

And when I saw the roses

that you left on our bed,

I was reminded of

that ancient tale

And how I fell in love

with your niece, so...

Thank you, aunty. That was

very thoughtful of you.

And meera loved them,

too, didn't you?

Yeah, roses. Nice touch.

I think I like more

than a thorny rose bush.

I knew you'd like the petals.

Didn't I say so, om, hm?

Hm? Oh, yes, yes.

Darling. Can I see you

for a private moment?

- We're just having a nice...

- Yeah, I need you now.

- Ooh!

- Not like that.

- Yeah.

- Charm.

- Lovebirds.

- Oh, aunty, please.

Don't be silly.

- Hm!

- [om] they are cute.

Cute, cute.

Cheers, guys. The

food is amazing.

Oh, thank you.

[instrumental music]

- What was that?

- What was what?

- If you have ulterior motives...

- Ulterior motives?

My aunt and uncle will not

be investing in dinna time.

[laughs] I have

investors. What are you...

What are you after with

this charm offensive

You got going on, telling

wild tales of hindu gods...

Okay, those are not wild tales.

That's our culture that

everyone's borrowed from.

You know, there would be no

cupid if it wasn't for us.

Look, maybe I'm this way because

I don't know, that's who I am

And I wanna help you.

Look, meera. My

father owns hotels.

Okay, it's the family business.

But I was cut off when I

decided to go my own way too.

Alright, it was a struggle.

So, I get that about you

more than you might know.

I also get that you wanna

show the world who you are,

So you try to work harder than

anyone, and sometimes so hard

That you lose yourself

to who you wanna be,

And in the end you're

neither of those people.

And sometimes, that's the

loneliest place on earth.

I'm not lonely. I have

a boyfriend... I think.

And you don't know me.

You're rigid and you're weird.

And by weird, I mean the

best possible kind. Okay?

But you are cold and distant

to even your closest friends.

You've probably been through a

lot of meaningless relationships

Because you've had your heart

broken by friends, by family,

By men that you

put your trust in.

So, I think you don't seem

to trust anyone or anything

Except for that gnawing

gut feeling inside you

That tells you, "I can be great.

I can do great things."

And you can and you will.

- You think I'm weird?

- And you think I'm charming.

I guess we both hear what

we want to, don't we?

[door knocking]

I hope I'm not

disturbing anything!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, nothing.

Okay. Great, so... Your

aunty wants you back.

She wants to talk party details.

We'll be out in a minute.

Take your time.

- This is just business.

- Mm. See? Cold and distant.

You forgot weird.

- Coming?

- Oh, now you want my charm.

Okay.

What's really going on, puru?

Huh, kavita aunty?

Nothing, I'm just thirsty.

You've been avoiding me.

Me? No, I'm not.

- Yes.

- Okay, I've been avoiding you.

Yes, well, you've been

so busy with party plans

And everything, and I

was like, okay, you...

Stop this, puru.

You know, there is

no excuse for you

To not go and see your mother.

She doesn't even

know you're in india.

And she's even found a lovely

girl from jaipur to meet you.

Yeah.

Um, I will call her.

It's just, I've also been so

busy with meera's company,

And just tiny little

bumps here and there,

Nothing, nothing

that... [hiccups]

[exhales deeply]

I think I'm gassy.

You're a strange boy, puru.

You could learn a

thing or two from rama.

There is something

about him that...

No, he is a great

guy. He is amazing.

He's loving, he's loyal, he's

caring, he's married to meera.

[chuckles] um...

Listen, you scared me when you

jumped out, I've to go and pee.

Hm?

[mellow music]

So, should I care

what's going on

Between silas averly

and your company?

Everything went haywire

when I did our presentation.

This is what happens

when you google him.

Oh, wow!

He's a serial streaker now?

No. We created these fake sites,

And our app was

supposed to delete them.

It was going to be

very, very impressive.

Yeah, I know some people

that paid a lot of money

To delete stuff about

themselves from the internet.

Exactly, and not everyone,

especially younger people,

Can afford that and it

should be accessible.

Right, well, sounds

like your app

Will be important

to a lot of people.

Yeah, well, it

didn't delete them.

Instead, it published

the fake sites.

So, now silas is suing us, and

the only way he will settle

Is if we give him the tech.

So, my company is

doomed unless we...

Can beef up servers,

enhance encryption

And figure out what went

wrong with your code.

- Exactly.

- Let me see.

We're going on the theory

that whoever hacked it

Doesn't want a low-pay

app like ours available.

Interesting ui.

We workshopped that ui to death.

Your start button. Shouldn't

that say "restart?"

I mean, that's what you're

helping people do, right?

Huh. That's actually

a good idea.

You got cut from

the family business?

That must've been hard.

Are you and your

parents not close?

Uh, my dad and I, we were close.

But things got tense

over me not marrying,

And then, well, the family

business was the last straw.

But you visit them every

couple of years, right?

Yeah, mostly to see my mom.

You know, spend a week with her.

- You should see him.

- Yeah.

And you should make

up with your aunt.

At least, you guys are in

the same house together.

What happened with

you two, anyway?

Well, good news. Your

core code is great.

It's difficult to get around.

But it would take big money

To launch a

cyber-att*ck like that.

What, like how

big? Google big?

Could be.

[birds chirping]

Hello, didi.

Puru, I left my door

unlocked last night.

Remember, aunty.

Keep it on the dl.

Come on. Suresh kaka is waiting.

Okay, let's go.

Oh, I can't wait to see

mumbai. The city of...

I don't know what city of,

but I can't wait to see it.

You guys go on ahead,

I will catch up.

[perky music]

[om] what is it?

An opportunity.

[indistinct chatter]

[man singing in

foreign language]

[song continues]

I used to walk down here

with my family all the time.

We used to come during diwali.

Ah, I loved the fireworks.

Hm, who's that guy?

That is "kala goda,"

meaning black horse.

- "kala goda."

- "kala goda."

I think we should take a

picture next to "kala goda."

Yeah, sure. I think a couple of

pictures there would be great.

- Yeah.

- Yeah. Let's go.

Why is he being so weird? I

just wanna take a picture.

You did say you don't

want a relationship.

Yeah, but I don't

want this though.

[song continues]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

It's beautiful.

It's just like my mom's.

Oh, she must've had good taste.

Yeah, she did.

I miss her.

[jayanti and kareena] meera!

[shrieking]

We did a thing in high school.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Mee-mee! Kareena and

I heard you were back.

- We were at the gymkhanna.

- Yeah.

Just thought of checking out the

nicest stores across the street.

And you must be

the prince charming

That we've heard so much about.

Oh, no, I'm just some guy

That she paid to

play her husband.

[chuckling]

He's hilarious!

Rama, this is

jayanti and karena.

I can't believe you

got married after...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, me. That's

me, married, of course.

Me with this guy.

This hunk of a guy.

- Okay, we need a major catch-up.

- Oh, yes, seriously!

[jayanti] you're thinking

what I'm thinking?

Yeah! No, no, no.

I-I, wait. What?

Karena, catch up.

Club euphoria!

They've got the hottest

act playing tonight.

- Uh, I know. We've...

- We'd love to go.

- Perfect!

- Yes.

It'd be just like

old times, meera.

[jayanti] I'll

text you the deets.

Don't make me come get you.

I know where you live.

And now you too.

- Okay, then. See you!

- We'll see you in the evening.

Bye!

[instrumental music]

- That was fun.

- What was that?

I'm trying to forget

my past, not relive it.

Oh, I'm sorry. You

screamed in unison.

I thought that's

what you wanted.

What I want is for everyone to

please just stick to the plan

So we can get the inheritance

and go back to our lives

In new york.

[indistinct chatter]

[kavita] I asked for a swan.

Why are there ducks

in my house? Shoo!

Krishna!

Get rid of those, now!

[ducks quacking]

I like ducks.

What's all this?

- Who are these people?

- Party planners. Decorators.

Aunty, we really need to

talk about this party.

- I don't wanna...

- Oh, that's cancelled.

[quirky music]

Oh! Great. Fantastic!

I thought that, after seeing

your marriage certificate,

The best thing to do is

to cancel your party.

W-w-why? Is there something

wrong with the certificate?

Because it's super

real. Printed, signed...

T's crossed. I's dotted.

Yeah, witnessed by

us. Leslie and I.

Oh, there's nothing wrong

with the certificate.

Great, yeah. I mean,

why wouldn't it be?

Could I actually get

the inheritance then?

- Of course.

- Amazing.

- After the wedding.

- The what?

Why throw a party when

you can throw a wedding?

- Ah! I already had one!

- Yes, in the eyes of the court.

But not in the eyes of god.

You know, I was under the

illusion the pandit ji

- Actually married you guys.

- Oh...

Aunty, um, he just

told us about the day.

He-he was busy. He was, uh...

Fishing. He was busy

fishing. He's an avid fisher.

Um, it was also an auspicious

time to go out fishing.

And what did he say? Mahi

mahi shubhmuharthe...

- And just went off fishing.

- [leslie] but we were all there!

Myself, meera, rama,

and very unfunny puru.

Be that as it may.

God has decided to tell me

that this is our chance to...

How did you say,

uh, start again?

- We can't do it.

- Oh!

We have to go back. We

can't plan a wedding...

What's kavita

aunty here for, hm?

I will handle

everything. Not to worry.

- Om, we've got to discuss that.

- Mm-hmm!

- I have to tell her.

- Don't.

Wait, wait, wait!

[quirky music]

[phone vibrating]

[clears throat]

We're...

We're gonna go out

tonight to celebrate.

Mm-hmm.

[meera] I-I thought

we're gonna need a car,

But we're gonna take a cab!

- The cab!

- Yeah, it's the best.

- It's the best option.

- Yeah, take a cab, hm.

[puru] s-see you!

[kavita] you, can you

please get these ducks

Out of my house?

I need a drink.

[upbeat music]

- They got nothing on you, babe.

- Oh, I don't care.

We're not together. He

can have fun tonight!

[chuckles]

If I cannot start again,

I'm going to drink

the past away.

What about aunty?

Mmm, she can have fun tonight,

too, and then, tomorrow,

I will tell her the truth

and crush her dreams.

Okay. You are definitely buzzed.

Mmm. Buzz...

[music continues]

[indistinct chatter]

That was amazing.

- That was just, wow!

- Oh, there are sh*ts.

Meera, why didn't you tell us

rama was such a great dancer?

- And so cute!

- You okay?

Yeah, perfect. Never better.

I'm surprised you caught

this one. She is a runner.

I mean, um, she was quite a

wild child back in school.

Yeah, but my baby has

tamed the beast, you see.

- Haven't you, baby?

- Hey, we all have a past.

You know, as long as you don't

let it affect your future,

And that's exactly why meera

came up with the best app ever.

Honestly, she's the

smartest woman I know.

Aw, that's so sweet!

So, puru...

Remember when you put the

moves on me back in school?

I'm all grown, and

I'd like to show you

- Some moves of my own.

- Oh!

Didn't you get married?

Took a leaf out

of your playbook.

No ring on this finger.

I'm trying to convince

kareena to do the same,

But she's a romantic,

just like rama.

- What? I just love my husband.

- That's boring.

Loosen up a little. But

things change, you know.

You've grown into

such a sexy man.

[upbeat music]

[female announcer]

hey, party people!

The moment you all have

been waiting for...

Meera, you're

going to love this.

I'm so sorry.

[female announcer] give a

loud welcome to our headliner.

Back in his hometown for

one night only, dj-x!

[electronic music]

It's your boy dj-x in the house!

[crowd cheering]

He used to dj my

basement parties.

And now he tours the

world. Hot, right?

What's wrong?

[jayanti] meera!

Uh, he's also

meera's ex-boyfriend.

She used to be crazy about him.

I thought you said

this dj ex was a dork.

Dork no more. Ugh, jayanti.

She's still doing the

same stupid sh*t she did

- When we were teens.

- We can split.

[music continues]

No. It is time to dance.

[music continues]

- Is there only one bathroom?

- Phew, seriously!

[indistinct chatter]

Meera?

Hey, x. What is up?

[chuckles]

Well, when jayanti told me

That you were

coming for my show,

- I could not believe it.

- You were the one djing?

- Yeah.

- I barely noticed.

[dj-x chuckles]

So, uh...

Can we go to some place quiet?

- Meera.

- Oh, it's okay.

I'm-I'm not even drunk.

Sure. All right, let's go.

- Yeah, let's go.

- To the dj.

- Righty. Bye!

- Bye!

[music continues]

So, did you like my show?

I don't get dj's.

Like, you're not,

like, real musicians.

Lotta like boopity-boop

boopity boop-boop-boop.

Push buttons, but whatever.

People people like

it or whatever.

I was pretty good at pushing

your buttons. Remember, meera?

All I remember is you

pushing the angry button

And the sad button.

You bailed on me when they

tried to get me married off!

I mean, it's-it's

okay. I'm married now.

I got proof!

Proof!

Meera, we were kids, really.

And, babe, trust me.

It took me a long

time to realize

That you were the one

that got away. Yeah.

Why didn't you come and find me

During your so-called

realization?

I'm not, like, waldo.

I'm pretty easy to find.

[clears throat]

- It's all fake.

- What?

- It's all fake anyway.

- What, what?

Me, me, me, me, meera.

- If I could just hit start.

- Yeah.

- Restart.

- Yeah.

- Then start again.

- Yeah.

Oh, if I could get that

app to work, I swear.

Sure, sure, sure, meera.

Whoa! Wha-what are

you doing? Wait up.

Meera, you just said

you wanted to restart.

- Not-not on us, stupid!

- Come on, meera.

You wanted to...

[upbeat music]

[gasping]

[crowd exclaiming]

Meera, are you okay?

Hey, look at me.

I can't bre...

Peanuts, peanuts!

[choking]

[gasping]

You're okay.

You okay? Let's go.

Meera! What happened?

Are you okay?

Yeah, you forgot?

Peanut allergy.

Oh, no, um. See, I'm so sorry.

I didn't even think of that.

Yeah, well, thinking was never

one of your strong suits.

This guy give you

peanuts or something?

Well, it was an accident, bro.

- Hi, x.

- Yeah, I'm rama. Her husband.

Oh, so you are the dude

who locked her down.

Congrats, buddy. And I'm so

sorry for the peanut lips.

- You kissed her?

- Yeah, she's fine.

She's fine? Bro,

she could have d*ed!

Where do you get

off kissing my wife?

Bro, relax. It is

harmless, okay?

And look, she's still breathing.

- Right. Hey!

- She's okay.

[groaning]

Hey, bro, relax.

It's harmless.

You're still breathing. Idiot!

You just said the same line.

[laughing]

Hey, I'm here.

[engine revving]

It's him.

Ugh! Uh-oh, oh!

[retching]

Wow. That feels like I

got all of it out of me.

- Yeah. Because you did.

- I'm great.

[indistinct chatter[

Okay, let's get you up here.

Um... My face feels funny.

Okay, that's 'cause

that's my face.

You're so right, rama.

It's just so hard

doing this by myself.

I get overwhelmed.

People say I'm...

A water on duck.

You know, I'm pretty sure

people don't say that.

But inside, I...

I-I-I feel like I'm a cocoon

before it becomes a duck.

Yeah, th-that's not how the

saying goes, but that's okay.

I ran away.

Did you know that?

I left a guy at the altar...

And I left my family.

[mellow music]

To become a failure.

Hey, you're not a failure, okay?

You're just trying to figure

it out like everyone else.

Well, will you just hold

me, please, for a second?

I'm not-I'm not gonna

throw up on you.

Hmm.

Mmm.

You're gonna make a

really great wife...

To a really great husband.

You're just gonna

be really great.

Mmm. Yeah, well, that

was the plan... Sort of.

[scoffs]

Hey, meera, I need to

tell you something.

I haven't been completely

honest you, I...

I'm not who you think

I am. I'm, what's...

[mellow music]

Meera?

[woman singing in

foreign language]

- That's very good. Excellent!

- Shut it off, please!

[laughing]

Meera, that was quite

the rest you had.

It's almost noon.

Stayed up late?

Oh, god, uh...

Yeah, I-I guess...

Yeah, we just sleep

really well together.

Honey, can I see you a sec?

[birds chirping]

- You want to get out of here?

- Yes, please.

[engine revving]

[instrumental music]

I just can't take it.

You should just let

me tell her the truth.

Yeah, but then your

company would be ruined.

I left so that I-I

could live my truth.

Why am I having

to lie to live it?

I don't know. Maybe we could

live it a little longer until...

What? Get married for real?

[music continues]

Why?

I don't know, I think

what your company is doing

Is important, you know,

we've already come so far.

We can get annulled.

You can tell people that

I was too good for you.

They would definitely

believe that.

Why are you so nice to me?

Actually, you know,

when I first met you,

I thought you were

way too into yourself.

- Oh, thank you.

- You're welcome.

But then I realized,

you're just passionate.

And even though that

passion can be infuriating,

It's what makes you who you are.

And if I can be a part

of keeping that fire,

Then, that's a win for me.

And if it's any comfort,

It'll still be a sham marriage.

Is that what you want? A sham?

[phone vibrating]

- What is it?

- Uh, it's my mom.

Take it.

You shouldn't ignore

a call from your mom.

Hey, amma.

How are you? How's dad?

[rama] yeah, I'd love to

see you. You're gonna cook?

Okay, I love you, then.

Yeah, no, it's good.

So... They're

still not back yet?

- No.

- Oh.

I think they ran

away and eloped.

You know, this whole pretending

thing may work for meera,

But... I miss you.

[quirky music]

- Kavita aunty will never know.

- Are you sure?

'cause I thought you

wanted this to be casual.

I did. It was a

defense mechanism.

But being out here,

you've really grown on me.

Mm.

Um, I'm a grower,

they always say.

But... If you want to keep

it on the dl, I get it.

Aunty scares me, you know.

And... I've got these

old-fashioned parents

And she's got them on

speed dial. It's crazy.

Well, you gotta man up.

- Oh, I can man up, baby.

- Oh, can you?

- Oh, you want me to? Mm?

- Mm-hmm.

Chris?

Hey, guys.

Well, what are you

doing here, man?

Grand gesture, bro. I

read about it online.

Chicks dig it and I dig meera.

That's love.

Plus, I have not had

sex in, like, a week.

That is love for

sure. Um, listen...

- She's not here!

- Yeah, she's not here.

[kavita] look, this is

ridiculous. This is india.

Come on, bro. Let's go!

Um... She just left

for her flight.

You know what, go

get to the airport!

- What?

- Yeah.

She read the same

article as you.

- Grand gestures!

- Grand gestures, man!

Go, surprise her mid-flight.

Sing her a song from

an adam sandler film!

- Uh, that's solid advice.

- Yeah.

But I got a crap voice.

- I could pirouette?

- For sure.

Well, I'm sure airlines

love it when people, like,

- Jump around on their planes.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. Let's go!

- Okay.

I'm not running a

petting zoo here.

I'm trying to hold a

wedding! Yes, thank you!

Aunty, aren't we a pair?

What are you doing here?

I live here.

W-what's going on

outside? Someone here?

[speaking in hindi]

- All right, brother.

- Hey, man.

- See you, man.

- See you!

Okay, have a good flight!

[engine whirring]

Oh, that guy? Your funny

story. He's an acrobat.

And I thought he might be

nice for the reception.

That's different.

Yeah, he could swing

from the arches.

Phew!

Wow! Tourists, huh?

That guy was looking

for an ashram.

I said, "dude, does this

look like an ashram to you?"

- I sent him right on his way.

- I thought he was an acrobat.

An acrobat...

Yeah, an acrobat at

the ashram, of course.

Yeah, um...

Anyway, lots to do!

Gotta go. See you. Bye!

[clears throat]

Om, do you think puru

should tell some jokes

At the reception?

No, I don't think...

Oh, I'd pay to see that.

Yeah?

Finally! Where

have you guys been?

We have to ask you something.

When's the wedding?

[mellow music]

[sighs]

[kavita] beautiful. Oh,

she's got his name in there.

You know, they say that if

the color doesn't catch,

- It's a bad omen.

- Hmm.

So make sure you don't use

your hand until it's dry, okay?

[speaking in hindi]

I can't believe

you're doing this.

- I mean, I can. It's obvious.

- What is?

I've seen the way

you look at rama

When you think he can't see you.

Th-that's-that's not

what... It's business.

- Is he giving you the business?

- Shut up!

Go, go and get me a drink, okay?

How?

[chuckles]

Okay.

- Oh, hi, rama!

- Ooh, you look nice.

Oh, thank you.

What is this?

This is lemon and sugar.

Keep the mehndi moist,

so it catches darker.

The darker it catches,

the better your luck.

You know, I actually

just heard that.

Mm-hmm.

Although you said it in a more

Glass half-full kind of way.

H-how do you know this?

Ha-ha, well, I have two sisters.

So, they used to practice on me.

Mostly hennaing stupid

things on my face.

[chuckles]

But trust me, this is the secret

To my clear complexion,

- Lemon and sugar.

- Ooh.

[instrumental music]

Your parents coming

to the wedding?

Uh, I just said that

out loud. Wedding.

[chuckles]

Uh, no, I don't,

I don't think so.

I think it's my dad's, well...

Yeah.

You should go see them.

I made a lot of bad choices

'cause I didn't have them around

To guide me.

Well, you have your

aunt and uncle.

Kind of.

My aunt got thrust from this

friend role to this parent role.

And I didn't really

want a new mom.

They tried their

best, but I guess

We just never really

got through it.

Can't change the past.

[music continues]

Hey, it's okay.

We're figuring it out now.

Thanks to you, honestly.

[chuckles]

You kind of like me, don't you?

Shut up.

Hey, there's something I've

been wanting to tell you.

Wait.

Change, in the past. I'm

so stupid. That's it!

[instrumental music]

I-I don't have time... Work.

[keys clacking]

Sorry about that. What

are you doing? Need help?

I'm just checking all

code merges from the days

Before the presentation.

It's gonna take a while, but

should be able to connect

The timestamps from the server

computers to the user profile

That made all the changes.

[sighs]

Okay.

There, look at that.

The mehndi took. I guess

I'm not doomed after all.

[chuckles]

- Hi!

- Hello, aunty.

- How are you, aunty?

- How are you?

You look fabulous.

Enjoy yourselves.

[song continues]

Wait a second. I'll be back.

[quirky music]

You would not believe

where I've been, bro.

I love india.

Yeah, man.

The rickshaw driver

and I stopped for paan

And that's when

things got crazy.

I guess it was laced

with some psychedelics.

We had this great chat,

pure mental communication

Through our third eyes and then

We ended up at this

local ashram, right?

They bring out a tiger and they

want me to fight the tiger.

And I was scared, but I

looked at the tiger's eyes

And he was scared too.

And that's when I

knew we were one.

So I went over to him

and I said, "meow!"

And impressed all the

locals and they said,

"you are our new monk."

Took me a couple hours, but

I achieved enlightenment

Which isn't as much as

everyone makes it out to be.

Don't worry about it,

if you never get there.

And then, when I came

back to the city,

I met this beautiful

woman. Uh, there she is.

She brought me here, to

meera's wedding. Do you see?

So now when they ask

if anyone objects,

I'm gonna jump up

and make my move.

Yeah, I don't think that

happens in indian weddings, man.

Okay, bro. I think

she's moved on.

And... You should go back home.

He's my plus one, puru.

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah.

It's sad, you know. He

could use some more "oms."

Definitely.

You can't run away this time.

I've bolted all the windows.

Oh, let her be. Meera,

we are here for you.

She's just happy that

I'm finally having

An indian wedding.

Tell her.

[instrumental music]

Just tell me.

Meera... You know,

when you came to us,

You were already so

independent, smart.

Free-spirited.

I didn't know how to be

a good mother to you.

But that's all I've

really wanted to be.

So I did the next best thing.

To honor my sister's

final wishes

That when you got married,

you would get your inheritance

And you could go away to live

a new life with a new family.

The best thing I could

do to support you...

Was to let you go, meera.

Though all I really wanted

was for you to stay.

But you know, I'm so proud

of you for finding somebody

To love all on your own.

We're so glad

you're finally home

And letting us do this for you.

[mellow music]

I know that back

then I was difficult.

I guess I was blinded

in my own grief,

But I... I kinda appreciate

the kinds of sacrifices

You both made to just

try to keep me happy...

And how hard it

must've been for you.

- I'm sorry.

- No!

I really, I really am.

[music continues]

Oh, you got no idea

what I just saw.

There he is, our lovely puru.

You know if you and

leslie want to live in sin

Out of wedlock,

we're okay with that.

- Mm, what-what do you mean?

- It's so obvious.

You're very funny, but

you're a terrible liar.

Hmm.

[chuckles]

I'm game if you are.

[gasps]

- Not here!

- Oh, sorry!

I think we should

give meera a minute.

- You too.

- Let's go.

You gave me some

good advice before.

I do not know if it

was all that good.

It brought me to this moment.

Well, something is

missing from this moment.

- My mother's necklace.

- Put it on.

You know, I also lost my

parents when I was very young

Like you did.

And that is why I think we

got along so well together.

Your aunt has always

loved you unconditionally.

And tonight, she

was being honest.

That took a lot from her.

Isn't it time you do the same?

[music continues]

[pensive music]

[music continues]

Is it me or does it seem like

They're actually

into each other?

Don't worry, I've got a

feeling it's gonna end

Just the way it

did a decade ago.

[music continues]

[music continues]

Aunty... Uncle.

I can't do this. I

can't deceive you.

This is a sham.

We're not married.

[meera] rama was

just doing me a favor

So I could get my inheritance.

My company was in trouble

and-and I just blurted out

What I thought you

wanted to hear.

But what's the point in

success if I can't share it

With my family?

Rama helped me realize

that what was missing

From-from everything I

achieved was you two.

Three.

[indistinct chatter]

[crickets chirping]

I'm so sorry.

I've put you through way

more than I asked for.

But, you know... I've had

the greatest time with you

These last few days.

I hope someday you

can forgive me.

"dear, groom, I know that

I picked the worst time,

But it'd be unfair

to you and myself

If I let us go

through with this."

[instrumental music]

How... Do you know that letter?

You know, I've read

it so many times

It's just burnt on my mind.

You were that groom?

But his name was agastya.

Americans can't

pronounce agastya,

So I went with my middle name.

Rama.

Yeah.

You did all of this...

Just to get back at me?

What? No!

[crowd exclaiming]

Damn!

[sobbing]

[rama] meera, wait...

[dramatic music]

I'm so sorry.

[mellow music]

I can't imagine what I

put you and uncle through.

No, not as much as

that boy, meera.

You know, I can't believe

I didn't recognize him.

I can.

And considering how

many boys we looked at,

- I may be face blind now.

- Yeah, chi!

- She's better off rid of him.

- I feel bad for him though.

- Poor boy.

- What? He lied to her, om.

You know, I agree with uncle.

I mean, come on.

The dude likes you.

He-he probably loves you.

He's been pining away so long.

Yeah, he's not doing this

for money. He only wants you.

Even the parts

about you that suck.

You owe him a conversation.

This is terrible advice

you both are giving her.

I won't let you

influence her like this.

Wait a minute, aren't

you the one who said that

He was a good boy? And then

when you met him... Again?

Yes, but that was

before I knew him, no?

Ah!

You know, I'm sure

he wants to go viral

With some revenge trick

against the girl who left him

Stranded at the altar

or something like that.

It's like that show that

puru keeps watching.

He wasn't doing a punk'd, aunty.

Ah! That, "punk'd."

[clears throat]

[music continues]

Did your aunty ever tell

you about our introduction?

- No.

- No.

She wouldn't meet

with me either.

- What?

- [om] yeah.

Your grandparents

had to drag her,

Kicking and screaming

to our house.

That sound familiar, sweetheart?

Is that true?

Oh, my memory's foggy.

And even after she came, she

refused to wear any makeup

Or get dressed up.

She came with a t-shirt, jeans,

And a whole lot of attitude.

She insisted she would

be wearing plain clothes

Most of our lives so why

present herself as anyone else?

Wait. So what made

you say yes to her?

[music continues]

She was different,

and although I knew

I would have to put

up with a lot of,

What is it you kids

call it nowadays?

- Extra.

- Yeah, extra.

I also knew whatever

that extra was,

I would never be bored.

Also her ass looked

amazing in those jeans.

[chuckles]

Om!

[laughing]

[mellow music]

[birds chirping]

[music continues]

Amma!

Amma.

Suresh, count the

number of pieces, yeah?

- Ah, yeah.

- Okay.

I'm gonna miss you guys so much.

- Oh, leslie.

- Yeah.

But thanks for

calling mom and dad.

You better go and

see them next time.

Ah! I will.

[chuckles]

Okay.

I'll see you sooner rather

than later this time.

Perhaps sooner if

my company tanks.

We're family. We'll cover

you as much as we can.

Until you finally,

eventually get married.

Till then, your inheritance

is gaining interest.

Mmm.

[chuckles]

Oh, who's that?

Uh, excuse me a minute.

[music continues]

Hi, chris.

I-I-I'm glad you're here.

- Look, this thing between...

- Shh.

[quirky music]

I don't want you to embarrass

yourself with a big speech

In front of your family, but

our journey has come to an end.

They've asked me to play the

villain in a bollywood movie.

He's a british general

who joins the circus.

Anyway, I just wanted

to tell you in person.

And give you a chance

to say goodbye.

This is a lot to take in.

But, um...

I'm proud of you.

[music continues]

Bye, chris.

[speaking in hindi]

[birds chirping]

Your favorite.

Prodigal son returns. Still

single though, I hear.

- Oh, mom told you?

- Didn't have to.

I could smell it on you.

[chuckles] arey,

idiot. Gossip travels.

I knew before you

got into your car.

I still can't believe she

made a fool out of you again.

She didn't make a fool of

me the first time, dad.

She actually showed me

what I was supposed to be.

- What? A cook?

- A little more than a cook now.

So where is your

restaurant in america?

Sold it. Built a

successful app.

You never gave up on your dream.

So why are you

giving up on love?

Uh...

[instrumental music]

I-I tricked her, dad.

And love is just a trick

of the heart, isn't it?

Who cares what jadoo

or kis led to pyar,

But if she feels it, too, you

owe it to yourself to try.

Uh, she's-she's pretty mad.

If you love her, the

best you could do

Is ask for her forgiveness.

[instrumental music]

Eat!

[anil chuckles]

[engine whirring]

[phone vibrating]

Holy crap! I knew it.

What?

Did a certain groom

you keep leaving

At the altar just text you?

I just got back the results

From the analysis I

sent in on the code

And we were definitely hacked.

I knew it.

And it originated

from averley servers.

Holy crap! Silas is

trying to steal our code!

That's crazy! Call the fcc or

the fbi or whoever handles this!

- Yeah.

- I have enough proof.

We can fix this and we'll

definately not be settling

The lawsuit by

giving him our tech!

[bike horn honking]

[dramatic music]

[engine revving]

Do you want me to lose him?

- Grand gestures, man.

- Meera.

The guy is chasing you

out on a motorcycle

After you dumped him twice.

I think you should hear

what he has to say.

- I don't care.

- [leslie] yes, you do.

You may never see him

again. Stop the car!

[music continues]

Listen... We like you.

But we love her. Understood?

Got it.

Can we talk?

Look, meera, do you know

what I saw on that day

We were supposed to

meet for the first time?

I watched you fight to forge

your own path on my driveway.

- Sorry about the potted plant.

- We replaced it.

Look, after you left, I was

pushed even harder to marry.

And then I heard that you went

to america all by yourself.

Like, you had the courage to

fight for what you wanted.

How-how could I not do

the same? You inspired me.

[mellow music]

Oh.

And when I saw

you at that party,

I recognized you instantly.

And I wanted to say thank

you for what you did.

So why didn't you,

instead of lying

About literally everything?

I intended to, and then,

I remembered that you were

So opposed to the

mere idea of me

That you ran ten

thousand miles away.

Then I went and I talked to

you, and you were amazing.

You were funny, sweet,

Totally frantic and

obsessed with your job.

And then, when leslie

pitched in the idea, well,

I thought maybe this was

my chance to show you

Who I really am.

Stupid charm offensive.

You might think that I never

thought about what I did to you.

But, of course, I did.

I was young and stupid.

Sometimes I even regretted it.

We would have hated each other.

Who says we don't now?

[music continues]

If I never left...

I would have never

found my own way.

But if you hadn't

come into my life...

I would have never

found my way back.

So where does that leave us now?

I think...

I think if you're still willing,

Three attempts later...

Maybe we can hit restart?

Restart, huh? That's

pretty catchy.

It'd be good on a

button somewhere.

[instrumental music]

You had one good idea.

Don't let it go to your head.

[instrumental music]
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