[MARCHING BAND PLAYS]
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
Come on,
let's get this show on the road.
You people either gotta shape up
or ship out.
Timing, dear friends.
It all depends on the timing.
A hundred and sixty-seven years
young Saturday.
The town fathers are gonna be
depending on you, ladies and gentlemen.
Come on, now.
With heart and voice
and golden tongue...
...loud be the praises of Pewter sung.
-Ready, one, two, one, two, three.
WOMAN: One, two, three, go.
MAN:
Julius, how bad?
Give me a moment.
What's a synonym for inveigle?
JULIUS:
Try beguile.
Begins with A.
Allure.
Julius, how bad?
My difference appears to be...
...$109,675 and 70 cents.
Oh, my God.
Seventy cents?
I've gone over the entire records...
...and everything that | can discover
makes this seem to be the entire amount.
I'm reasonably sure.
JACK:
Let's look at that bloody thing.
See if we can, you know, sort it out.
A hundred thousand.
JULIUS: Well, it has to have happened
within the past eight months.
You see, there would seem to be
six accounts that are....
You
MAN 1:
Hi. I'm sorry.
MAN 2:
Look, big night tonight.
MANIGMA:
Hi, Bob, how are you?
Good luck to you.
-All right, girls.
-Hi.
Good luck, Ralph. Good to see you.
-Reverend.
-Hi, Sara.
Timmy, how are you?
We could use some extra money
for Timothy's wardrobe.
We all could use a little extra.
-Reverend.
-Bill.
Running late. Show should've been
on the road half-hour ago.
-I'm waiting for you, Bill.
-We'll keep moving at a good clip.
Be out of here by 2300 hours.
That's one thing
the Army teaches you, Reverend.
-What's that, major?
-Keep it moving, keep it moving.
Good evening, everybody.
Lots of happy, smiling faces.
Lots of winners tonight,
it looks like to me.
We're running a little bit late,
so if we can settle down a little bit...
...Miss Bonano will start the first game.
MANNY:
| don't understand it, I....
| just don't understand it.
Julius, just how the hell
did this thing happen to us?
Oh, I'll be....
What it boils down to, basically,
is clever manipulation.
Uh, four to follow.
Very clever manipulation.
It's a hell of a good thing, of course,
that we found it now when we did...
...particularly with the examiners
coming so soon.
It's damned embarrassing.
-Embarrassing?
-Yeah.
Julius, $100,000.
You call that embarrassing?
Oh, no. No.
What | meant, of course, was that--
But who, for Christ's sake? Who?
Pass.
JULIUS:
| don't know. One.
| can't figure it. | just can't figure it.
JACK:
Well, stop trying.
Unless, of course,
you enjoy this self-flagellation.
This constant rehashing of the same thing
over and over again.
If you do, that's another matter.
Jack, what the hell
are you talking about?
What am | talking about?
We've been embezzled.
| mean, $100,000 is missing, gone.
Can you understand that?
Listen,
a child can understand that.
Well, damn it,
stop saying I'm rehashing...
...as though it's something incidental
or insignificant.
| haven't said that.
No, no, you haven't.
It's two to you.
-To me.
-Yeah.
Your two and up 10.
Forty.
No.
Oh, thank you, gentlemen.
You're very kind. Very kind, indeed.
CATHY:
N 32.
0 67.
B eight.
B one.
G
53.
Hi.
CATHY:
0 63.
Reverend, nice to see you.
Nice to see you
within 100 yards of the church.
Thanks a lot.
CATHY:
0 70.
G
58.
0 73.
Uh, excuse me. Is this available?
-Could be.
CATHY: G 48.
Thanks.
G
58.
You know,
from the standpoint of fidelity...
...we're in pretty good shape.
| mean, we're fully covered, you know,
as far as any loss is concerned.
Fully covered?
Julius, you are talking about fidelity.
| am talking about survival.
What do you think is gonna happen the
moment this thing breaks in the press, hm?
I'll tell you what's gonna happen.
It's over. We've had it.
I'm not so sure.
Forgetting our personal situation
for the moment...
...it's true...
...that a scandal of this magnitude
could cause the collapse of the bank...
...what with the erosion
of public confidence...
...and so on and so forth,
but, you know...
...there's a sort of symbiotic weave...
...between the general stability
of the bank...
...and the economic health
of the community.
So that the strength of one
lends strength to the other...
...and what is good for the bank,
good for the public.
Vice versa.
So that...
...a collapse or a scandal
at a high level...
...is not really in keeping
with the public interest.
Oh, the public interest.
MANNY: No question.
-Yeah.
Think what a different situation
we'd have...
...if there'd been a robbery,
you know.
| mean, if the bank had been broken into
and robbed, right?
In the first place,
there wouldn't be the taint...
...that's attached to this bloody thing.
Robbery is, well, human nature.
A hell of a lot more respectable
than embezzlement.
A robbery.
That's right.
You know, and in the second place,
the prestige of the bank would be intact...
...and all of us
would become simply innocent....
-Victims.
-Innocent victims.
Well, that's all very fine and good...
...but meanwhile, we've been embezzled,
not robbed.
Yeah.
That depends.
CATHY:
N 42.
What do you do at the bank?
Oh, I'm what you call a chief clerk.
It's a sort of a challenging position.
Challenging?
Yeah.
What do you say we split?
Sure, why not?
Doesn't look like it's our night, anyway.
Well, it's still early.
[MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO]
PATRICIA:
What does a chief clerk do?
Oh, lots of things, actually.
Lots of things.
I--
Sometimes, | bring money up
from the vault when we need it.
And | prove out the teller sheets a lot.
And | handle all the shipments
for down at the Federal Reserve.
It's actually a job of many facets.
-What was that?
-Pick that up.
Oh, sorry.
Um, and what about yourself? Are you--?
Do you have a job now?
PATRICIA:
I'm over at Kaiser Insurance.
It's all right, you know.
It's just that old man Kaiser gets to be
a bigger pain in the ass every day.
Yeah, | know about him.
He has a very good account
down at the bank.
PATRICIA:
Well, that figures.
What the hell. He ain't giving any extras
to the help. | can tell you that much.
What are you sitting on?
What--?
Oh, no, it's just that this magazine
has some very good stories in it.
You read the stories?
Say, how do you think | stack up
next to the centerfold?
Be honest.
Al right.
| could only be very honest
with you, you know, and....
To me, you're just perfect, you know.
You have a perfect figure
and you just have a perfect height.
Just perfect.
-Well, thank you very much. | agree.
-That's true.
What about yourself?
What do you--? In what area?
Do you like working at the bank?
Yeah, | do.
Yeah, it's fine, for the time being.
You know, it's good. It's a living, yeah.
It's very hot in here, you know.
-Can | take off my jacket?
-Feel free.
| mean, it's not being too forward
or anything, is it?
-Take it off.
-Okay, thanks.
-Is that enough?
-What do you mean?
A living.
| mean, are you looking
to be important or anything?
Sure, like everybody, | guess.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
I'm sort of working at it,
you know, slowly.
Slowly, slowly.
-Well, | figured that.
-Yeah.
You liking challenges and all.
Yeah, yeah. | guess | like....
| guess, yeah, right.
| like challenges
as much as sort of any man.
-Anybody, you know.
-Say....
What do you think my chances are
of getting a loan down at the bank? Hm?
Hm?
| don't know.
| mean, do you think you might be able
to put in a good word for me?
Hm?
Sure, sure, yeah, | could.
| could, yeah, but still, it's a....
| mean, you have to realize it's a matter
of meeting basic requirements, you know.
You know, you have a marvelous way
of expressing yourself.
It--
| guess it comes with the territory,
you know.
I'll bet.
Got a minute?
Yeah, I....
| got all night.
Now, let me understand this.
What you're suggesting
is a sort of a mock heist...
...for lack of a better definition.
Who, me?
I'm not suggesting anything.
You know, I'm just putting forth,
a sort of, you know, hypothesis.
Yeah, all right, all right.
Let's examine this.
First, we....
Well, first,
we gotta get ourselves in there.
And then we take the cash
that's really not there in the first place.
And then we adjust the books...
...so that what's actually in the vault
is not what's reflected on the books.
Al right.
Then when the examiners come in
to review these areas...
...everything will look legitimate.
They won't have to check further.
Embezzlement into robbery.
Julius, did you follow that?
Yeah, | followed.
Well, what do you think?
| think it's-- It looks-- It's.
| think it's....
I think you look really beautiful.
- I really do, I...
-Thank you.
| do, I--
You're a complete--
You're a real--
That's a real centerfold
if | ever saw one.
Especially when you do that.
Like that.
-Beautiful.
-I'm really glad you like it.
- I love it.
-You know...
...I can tell you're not the kind of man
that just wanna sit home...
...and watch TV every night.
-No.
-Drink beer and eat pretzels.
No, no, | hardly eat-- Whoops!
I'm sorry. Did | hurt you?
PATRICIA:
No, I'm all right.
It only cost me 2 grand.
RICHARD: Oh, really?
-Mm-hm.
RICHARD:
Two grand?
PATRICIA:
That's because | know how to shop.
And I'm not even including the extras
like the black satin dress | got.
-You wanna see it on?
RICHARD: No, no, don't move.
-Don't move, don't move.
PATRICIA: Oh, so sweet.
Oh, no, you're sweet, you're sweet.
You're so sweet.
-Do you think you could--?
-What?
-Think you could--?
-Anything. Ask me anything.
-What?
-Do you think you could--?
-Yes, what?
-Do you think you could get me a loan?
-Hm?
-A loan? What are you--?
-What are you talking about a loan now?
-You like to see me tomorrow morning?
-Can | come tomorrow morning?
-Yes. Every morning, yes.
Come down to the bank tomorrow morning
for my $5000?
-For my $5000?
-Baby, you're not listening to me.
-What are you talk--?
-You gotta start--
-Gotta concentrate.
-Wait a minute.
What are you talking about? You don’t
seem to understand anything I'm saying.
That's not my department, see?
No, come on.
-I'm not the loan officer.
-You're chief clerk.
Yeah, I'm chief clerk,
but | don't get to approve.
-You don't approve of what?
-Loans.
| don't get to approve loans,
is what I'm trying to talk about, see?
- I thought you said you had influence.
- I do.
| do, | do have influence,
but that's not my department.
Yeah, your department
is running around a lot.
What's that supposed to mean?
Yeah, look, I'm getting kind of tired,
so you're gonna have to leave.
Well, anyway, the guy down at the bank
that you wanna talk to about loans is--
His name is Mr. Stutz.
-Stutz, huh?
-Yeah.
The only way you can get a loan
is if you have collectible.
Word happens to be collateral.
Same thing.
Anyone who's got that doesn't need one.
And anyone who needs one
hasn't got anything.
And nobody's interested in talking
to someone who ain’'t got nothing.
Maybe it's better then
if we meet up sometime next week.
-I'm busy next week.
-How about the week after next?
I'm busy then too.
We can always keep it open,
couldn't we?
Well, keeping it closed
is okay with me.
I'm not sure of my schedule,
you know, but maybe--
-Wednesday. How about Wednesday?
PATRICIA: Chief clerk, huh?
Chief sh*t.
What are you looking at?
You got it made.
sh*t.
sh*t. sh*t.
RICHARD:
Will you sign that, please?
Here you go, that's your receipt.
WOMAN:
Oh, no.
-Would you like a cup of coffee or--?
-No, let's get on with this.
Okay, fine, we're gonna be fine.
How'd it go last night?
Great.
-Really great.
-Hm.
Well, | think the cat just dragged it in.
RICHARD: You mean she's in this room?
CATHY: Yeah.
RICHARD:
God, what does she want with me?
Maybe she wants your autograph.
RICHARD:
Doesn't want my autograph.
Mr. Stutz?
How'd you guess?
Guess it's those baby blues.
Must be.
Please have a seat.
Get the formalities
out of the bloody way.
PATRICIA: Thank you.
-Mm-hm.
-Your full name?
-Patricia Allison Potter.
Potter.
Potter.
That's Danish, isn't it?
Where?
-How much were you looking to borrow?
-Five thousand dollars.
Let me have your address.
-It's 53--
-63....
--20 Oak Ridge Road.
Hey, that's not too far
from Cherry Hill.
Yeah, it's right down the street.
Do you live in the area?
Not too far.
Well, you're welcome to drop by.
Anytime.
Anytime at all.
That would be marvelous.
| look forward to that.
So do |.
Listen.
-Let's take a trip.
-Right.
Follow me.
Richard.
Richard, this is Patricia Potter.
Patricia, this is Richard Smedly,
our chief clerk.
How do you do, Mr. Smedly?
-How do you do, Miss Potter?
-Listen.
Patricia here is with Alexander Kaiser...
...and you know
he has a good account with us.
Yes, sir, | do.
Patricia's been with him
about five years.
So, you know, she's a pretty good risk.
So, you know,
just get up a check for about $5000.
I'll sign it with you.
You want me to issue a check
for $5000?
Oh, yes.
Give it to me. I'll deliver it.
Excuse me, Jack.
Could | speak to you for just a moment?
Excuse me.
Oh, they let you make out the checks too,
huh, chief?
[PATRICIA LAUGHS]
| would've let you do
a lot more than that.
Julius says he's gonna need all the time
he can get...
...s0 he wanted me to ask you
if it's all right...
...if he stays on after hours.
Fine, let him stay.
And so what we'll do is to signal him,
you know, at the proper moment.
He'll let us in.
-All right, then?
-Fine.
Fine.
MAN 1 [OVER RADIO]:
Tune it at 105--
MAN 2:
Three West 204.
JACK:
Keep pumping. We're behind schedule.
I think you'd do this
just to make me feel uncomfortable.
One of these days, I'm gonna find out
what makes you do these things.
JACK:
Listen, we're in it together.
No sense fighting it.
Pump. Pump, now.
-Pumping.
-Right, right.
Pumping.
Pumping. I'm all right.
Al right.
Brake. Brake.
Brake.
JACK:
You all right?
[GROANING]
Yeah.
[KNOCKING]
[WHISPERING]
How's it coming?
[WHISPERING]
Fine. Everything's just fine.
I'm almost finished.
I1t'll take me about another 10, 15 minutes.
-Time it. We got plenty of time.
-Good.
Is somebody here who shouldn't be?
Come on,
let's get this bloody thing over with.
Quiet.
Wait.
Now.
Here.
Put these on.
Al right.
You know, this bloody thing
makes you feel like a crook.
I'm not a crook.
| don't like any of this.
How the hell--?
Oh, my God.
I'm not only the president of this bank,
but my wife's family owns it.
Now, how would | ever explain that?
Who would believe it?
You have me for a witness.
No, no, | don't like it.
None of us like it
but we're gonna like it a lot less...
...unless we get this bloody thing open.
-What's the matter?
-1 have to pee.
-Well, hold it.
-Hold it.
Come on.
Boy.
You know what this thing
reminds me of?
The refrigerator at the butcher's.
Maybe we can thaw some frozen assets.
MANNY:
What are you getting at?
What am | getting at?
| didn't know | was getting at anything.
Now that we're here...
...what do we do?
Well, think about it.
| mean, you know,
put yourself in the position of a thief.
You know.
I'm beginning to feel faint.
| don't know what I'm doing here. I--
JACK: Sit down.
-Just don't know what I'm doing here.
| really haven't thought
this thing through.
JACK:
Well, Manny....
Come on, Manny.
Don't get yourself worked up
over this bloody thing.
-Here you are.
-Oh, thanks.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's come to this.
We actually have to take the cash.
It would be a reasonable expectation...
...but there's not all
that much money there anyway.
Besides, it's not as though
we're not entitled to some consideration.
-You know, for services.
-True.
Well, the compartments are locked.
[METAL CLANGS]
You know, | really don't feel well.
How about a ham on rye?
[GROANS]
Here.
There's plenty of time.
A little incriminating evidence
makes it look all the better.
It'll be a cinch.
Yeah.
MANNY:
Oh, my God.
JACK:
What?
MANNY: We've got practically
another hundred thousand dollars in here.
JACK:
We'll sort it out later.
Just put it in the bag and come on.
-There.
-So, what am | gonna do with these?
Chisel the lock.
-Come on.
-All right.
| have to go outside?
I'll watch.
I'll watch.
-Be casual.
-Okay.
Let's go.
Good. Well done.
-No, no, no. Leave--
-Oh!
-What was that?
-It was a car.
-Oh. Right.
-Just leave it here.
Get the money.
-Hurry up.
-Come, come.
Come on here, buddy.
-Julius.
-It wasn't my idea.
What wasn't your idea?
I----...
| must've dozed off.
What time is it?
You finished?
Finished.
All right, it's 10:15...
...and we have a good one hour
and 45 minutes before the next patrol.
So....
This is yours.
What is?
I've been asleep. What is this?
It's your share.
-My share?
-Why, don't you trust me?
It's all there, maybe a penny or two
more or less, but nothing more.
This is yours.
Yeah.
This is mine.
Well, look,
| really don't want to become....
Become what?
| am not a crook.
| don't know.
You want me to walk out of here
with all of it and get caught?
No, we're in this together.
We each of us must take our share
of the responsibility.
Al right?
Let's put it in.
Put it in there.
Put it in there.
-Now, have you got a match?
MANNY: Hm?
A match?
-What, are you gonna burn it?
-Yeah.
But you can't burn it.
It would be evidence.
It wouldn't make any sense.
| mean, they'd see it and they'd know
it wasn't stolen, and....
What's the matter with you?
Maybe we're not the U.S. Marines
or three musketeers...
...but we're not
a cabal of mercenaries either.
| mean, either we operate from
some high ethical posture, you know...
...some assumed sense
of moral excellence...
...or we're just three guys that are trying,
you know...
...to protect our situation.
| mean, | think that's the perspective
we've gotta see this from.
You're right.
We'll just--
-Is that mine?
-That's yours.
Al right.
-This would be the--
-And.
JACK: You just be sure that the front door
is exactly the way it is now.
Leave it.
-Here we go.
MANNY: Okay.
Okay.
Okay, you get up front this time.
| can't brake the damn thing.
Fine. Would you...?
Where's the car?
We didn’t bring the car. It's too risky.
How am | supposed to get home?
Where's your car?
In the garage.
| came with you this morning.
Oh, | forgot.
| don't think you forget.
Now, listen, Julius.
Let's see how we can sort
this bloody thing out.
-You--
-No, no.
No, no, you go ahead, I'll follow.
-Okay.
-All right.
-Hurry. Ready?
-All right.
Let's go. All right.
[CHATTERING OVER POLICE RADIO]
OFFICER:
Oh, my God.
[SIREN WAILING]
-Watch the car.
-Watch the car?
-Watch the car.
-Okay.
Jason, this is Bert.
Sheriff's on his way in.
MAN 1 [OVER RADIQ]: Thirty-four to base.
MAN 2: Just keep watch.
MANIGMA:
I will. I'll check.
Thanks again.
You're angels, every one of you.
| don't know what I'd do without you.
-Bye-bye.
-Bye.
Bye-bye.
Louise, see you tonight.
Yes, I'll be here. | always come early.
| know you do, | know you do.
Good luck.
-Richard Smedly?
-Hello.
To what do | owe this great honor?
Reverend, there's, uh....
There's something that's been
troubling me lately.
| was wondering if maybe
if | could talk to you about it.
Well, sure.
Come on, we'll go down to the office.
Sit down, Richard.
Sit down.
What's on your mind?
Well, I....
| don't exactly know where to begin this.
Well, begin anywhere.
Begin at the beginning.
Okay. Uh....
All right, I'll just say it.
Okay, is a person, let's say, a crook...
...simply because circumstances
make it appear that he is?
Or does it have something to do
with a person’s intent?
Well...
...when someone is dishonest
and someone steals...
... don't know quite how
one accomplishes that without intent.
Okay, then you will agree with me
that someone's intent can be misjudged?
Because someone can do something wrong
or dishonest, right?
But if he knows that he hasn't,
not really...
...then he's not a crook.
Richard, I'm afraid
I'm not quite getting what you're....
Uh....
Well, okay, let me try.
Something....
Something unbelievable
has happened to me lately...
...you see. Uh....
I'm a crook.
Now, Richard.
Don't you think
maybe you're being a little romantic?
| never intended to do anything wrong
or crooked, see.
It's just that the circumstances....
That's all. The circumstances.
And something that has just happened
has made it appear that way.
Go on.
For the past few months,
I've been working on a system.
Kind of a modus operandi.
You know what | mean?
Anyway, what this system entails...
...is that any insider with a fair degree
of responsibility and control...
...well, can gradually....
Gradually embezzle
hundreds of thousands...
...even millions of dollars
from existing accounts.
And, Reverend...
...I've had just amazing success at it.
Well...
...sounds like the bank's getting its share,
all right.
Remember a couple of years ago...
...they wouldn't give us
the mortgage money for the new school?
-Uh-huh.
-Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways.
RICHARD: Well, | don't understand
anything that's going on.
-Believe me, | don't understand.
MANIGMA: You're not alone, Richard.
See, all | wanted to do was to prove out
the system, that's all.
| knew it could work.
The money had nothing to do with it.
| intended to give all the money back.
-And then this thing happened.
-Then what thing happened?
The robbery at the bank.
Now, there's bound to be
an investigation.
When those federal agents
start looking at the books...
...it's only a matter of time
till this whole thing unwinds itself.
Now, | know it's gonna be futile for me
to come forward and say anything...
...because the whole thing
is gonna seem so distorted now.
Richard, do you still have this money?
Of course | do. Yes, every penny of it.
Well, | think you have
to let your conscience...
...and your good judgment be your guide.
And I'm confident
that you're gonna make the right choice.
So it's probably a good idea
that I'm coming forward like this...
...because it's gonna save everybody
a lot of trouble, right?
-1 think so, | think so.
-That's--
It sounds silly to say, | know,
but the plan is perfect.
It really is.
It's just the timing.
It's just damn rotten timing, that's all.
It just was unbelievably bad timing.
Well, go on home and think this over.
I'm gonna sit back down there
and think about it.
Together, we're gonna come up
with the right thing to do.
-Cathy.
-You two know one another.
-Hi, Richard.
-Hello.
-l guess you heard about the bank.
-1 did. It's amazing, isn't it?
Yeah, Stutz said
| don't have to be in until 11 or so.
-Well, I'll just see you there.
-Okay.
Did you wanna see me
about something, Cathy?
Well, yes, but it's not urgent.
Why don't you wait in my office?
I'll be back in a minute.
Okay, thank you.
-1 don't wanna interrupt anything.
-No, you're not.
Okay.
Listen, Richard, what do you think...?
What if | were to call those people
at the bank?
You think that would do any good?
| don't think it's really necessary,
actually.
You know, | think that
I'll handle it, okay?
Well, I'd be glad to do it.
| know you will.
Thank you.
Stay in touch with me, will you?
JACK:
I'll get in with it.
MAN:
Wait, what if he had that--?
JACK:
Now, what about the insurance?
MAN: The bureau's not concerned with
the insurance problem that's involved...
...s0 much as the possible theft
and statutory violation.
Richard, | was trying to reach you,
but no answer.
Yes, sir. | was at church this morning.
| see. Well, go into the vault
and start a cash count.
Take two of the clerks with you
to assist.
Mr. Stutz, there's something very important
I'd like to talk with you about.
So we'll chat later.
It can't wait until later.
It's extremely urgent
and highly confidential, sir.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Now, don't move.
Just have a seat there, sir.
I'll be right back. Come on.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
What?
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
What?
-Jesus.
-I'll get it.
| don't know. Just come on over here.
I've got to get myself together a bit.
You wait
and I'll get the president myself.
Manny.
-Mr. Benchly.
-Hm?
Can | see you for a moment?
Let's have a drink. Come on.
Keep perfectly still.
| just had a confession here,
who embezzled the money.
And it's Richard, he took it.
-Really?
-Wait a minute. People are--
Oh, let him sit down.
Now, will you stop that?
Be calm, just be calm.
I'll be right back.
Julius. Mr. Taggart.
Can | see you for a moment?
I've got a--
One moment, gentlemen.
| have got a small matter.
Come here. Look at me, look at me.
Be calm.
We just heard who took the $109,000.
It is the gentleman on your right.
No, not him. Richard.
Now, | don't know what to do.
| think we ought to have a little conference.
No trouble at all?
Would you lead the way
into the conference room?
Keep calm. Come along.
MAN:
Stutz?
Oh, I'm sorry, gentlemen.
I've had very bad news about my mother.
Would you forgive me? I'll be right back.
You know, we only got a few minutes
so we better dispense with the pleasantries.
Richard, this thing hits us
at a very bad time.
Believe me, sir,
the timing was completely unintentional.
| mean, you have my word on that.
| mean, first we're robbed,
then we're embezzled.
The bank's been through quite a bit
in the past 12 hours.
| know.
Why, Richard?
Why the devil did you do it?
| mean,
haven't we always treated you fairly?
If you had any grievance,
any grievance whatsoever...
...why didn't you come to me
to talk to me about it?
There was never a grievance.
It wasn't that.
MANNY:
Well, then why? Why?
JACK:
See, Richard...
...once this thing gets out on the street
on top of the bloody robbery thing...
...why, it does present
some unusual problems.
I'm aware of that, sir.
Let me ask you something.
How do you suggest
we proceed from this point in time?
-How would he suggest?
-Excuse me, I'm....
I'm not sure | quite understand
what you're asking of me, Mr. Stutz...
...but if it's the money
that you're concerned about, |'ve got it.
-You have all the money?
-Yes, sir.
Julius, lock the door.
Let's see if we can sort this thing out
in a rational manner.
You can have it back anytime you want.
| don't know, you know....
Once we've recaptured the money
and the bank is made whole again...
...this whole thing is null and void.
What's null and void?
Well, then it's merely a matter of labels,
whatever label you want to attach to it.
Oh, no, no, it's not a matter of labels.
It's embezzlement.
No matter how you label it.
JACK: All right. If that's what you'd prefer
it to be, that's what it'll be.
MANNY:
Prefer it?
If | had any preference,
do you think |I'd be sitting here now?
Now, listen, Manny.
What constitutes embezzlement?
It's the fraudulent appropriation of funds
for one's own use.
Now, is that so or isn't it so?
Yeah, that's so.
JACK:
So the rest speaks for itself.
What speaks for itself?
Jack, what in the hell are you getting at?
Now, listen, Manny.
How can you appropriate--?
Will you forgive us?
Please, go ahead.
How can you appropriate funds
for your personal use...
...if you don't have those funds?
-You can't.
-Right.
So where's the embezzlement?
Listen, please don't drive me crazy, Stutz.
Don't drive me crazy.
He's got the funds. He took them.
He just confessed to it.
JACK: Well, he can just as easily confess
that he gave it back if you press him on it.
Yeah, | suppose he can.
Then it's not embezzlement anymore.
It's something else.
MANNY:
What else is it?
What is "a return of borrowed funds"
called?
-A loan?
-Thank you.
Payment on a loan.
So that's how we'll treat it.
A loan.
RICHARD:
Excuse me for saying this...
...because | certainly appreciate everything
you've been saying here, Mr. Stutz...
...but | feel there's one important matter
that | should bring up, and that is the books.
Now, when Mr. Taggart
gets together with the auditors...
...they're bound to find something
pretty peculiar.
Let Mr. Taggart sort that out.
He's very good at it.
JULIUS:
| just, | don't know--
Well, | do know exactly
how it got started.
But it's one of these things that's just....
It's gotten totally out of hand...
...and | feel like | must do something.
I've got to do....
There's just been out-and-out
thievery involved.
| feel, my own self...
...I feel very dirty.
N 45.
Bingo.
Oh, bingo, bingo, bingo!
[MOUTHS]
Okay.
Aren't you coming?
Where you going?
For a ride.
Don't you wanna come?
Yeah. What the hell.
I've been with the bank
for aver a year now.
This is the first time
we've ever been alone together.
Is that good?
JULIUS:
We can't put the money back.
It's been accounted for.
MANNY:
He's right.
Of course he's right.
So, what other problems do we have?
Il mean, the point is...
...are the books in order
or aren't they in order?
Yes, but not really, in the....
Listen, either the books are in order
or they're not in order.
They're in the order that you wanted.
So then | can't see what the problem is.
The hundred thousand dollars--
One hundred and nine thousand...
...six hundred seventy-five dollars
and 70 cents.
Yeah.
-What are we gonna do with it?
-Well, what would you like to do with it?
| don't know.
All right, then. We'll let the kid keep it.
Let him keep it?
Are you out of your mind?
So we'll keep it?
Oh, jeez.
Now wait, now--
Now, first of all, you tell me
the money can’t go back in the bank.
And believe me,
| think that's a stroke of genius.
You don't want the kid to keep it,
and don't misunderstand me.
I'm not suggesting he should.
Now you say we can't keep it.
| don't know.
So listen, let's flush it.
Flush it?
Jeez.
CATHY: You know,
it's amazing how you can be somewhere...
...and never even know
what's going on around you.
RICHARD:
Yeah, | know what you mean.
We've said more to each other
in this past hour...
...than we have this whole past year.
CATHY:
Yeah.
Maybe that's what's kept
the relationship so easy.
RICHARD:
Oh, yeah, easy, maybe so, maybe.
CATHY: What are you gonna do
with all that money?
RICHARD: / don't think | know exactly
what you're talking about.
CATHY:
It was rotten timing.
Unbelievably rotten timing.
RICHARD:
Where'd you hear that?
CATHY:
Oh, just a lucky break.
! mean, | didn’t mean to eavesdrop,
you know...
...but ! just leaned over and listened
when | saw the door was shut.
RICHARD:
What do you want, Cathy?
CATHY:
!/ wanna be your partner.
RICHARD:
My partner?
CATHY: All | want you to do
is tell them someone’s onto you...
...and has to be paid off.
RICHARD:
That's blackmail.
CATHY:
Bingo.
You see, as far as I'm concerned,
you and | are common criminals.
Fifty-fifty.
RICHARD:
What fifty-fifty?
CATHY:
Half of 50,000.
Half of 50,000?
I think that's very fair.
Half for them, half for us.
What makes you so sure
they're gonna be willing to go along...
...with this scheme you've got?
What choice do they have, really?
Besides which, you're sitting here.
They don't seem that anxious
to prosecute.
I'm sitting here because | told them
I'd get all the money back.
They asked me to resign. | said | would.
And they don't want a scandal,
and that's why I'm sitting here.
Obviously, they don't want a scandal...
...but if they should happen
to change their minds...
...I'll come out a hero.
I'll tell every paper in the country.
Come on, Cathy.
You don't know what you're doing
to yourself, you know?
You're wrecking your whole future.
Never mind about my future.
I'll take total responsibility
for my own actions.
You see,
| don't have any fantasies about them.
Hey, waiter?
You know, Richard...
...it's really quite amazing
what you can accomplish...
...once you've set your mind to it.
You see, the trouble with most people is
they just don't realize the power they have.
Obviously, you can relate to that.
Sure you can.
You see, a large part of any accomplishment
is just a matter of...
...well, knowing what you want...
...and then taking advantage
of the right opportunity.
That's what it's all about.
You know,
some people just can't cope with success.
[SHOWER RUNNING]
| mean, all that money,
and then wanting to give it all back.
That's crazy.
Why go through all that trouble
in the first place?
An opportunity comes along,
you gotta grab it, you gotta move her.
| don't get why people don't get that.
-How do you figure him?
MAN: Huh?
How do you figure him?
MAN: Who?
-Smedly.
Well, there's a lot more to this thing
than you realize.
Tell me.
[BURPS]
Oh, God.
-Pastor.
-Oh, Julius, | didn't see you back there.
-Good morning.
-Good morning. How are you?
-How are you this morning?
-Fine, thank you.
I'm feeling fine.
Did...?
[MUMBLES]
Excuse me.
Is it possible for us to spend
a few moments...
-...talking?
-Sure, sure.
You wanna go to my office?
Fine, yeah.
| came as fast as | could.
-You're not coming in this morning?
-I've got things to get done.
-Did you get home all right last night?
-Fine, fine, Cathy.
I've been thinking maybe it's better if you
dealt with them directly, understand?
And then I'll just give them the money,
and they can make all the decisions.
-They've already made the decision.
-1 don't mean that.
What | mean is
| don't wanna be involved in this anymore.
You understand?
So just eliminate me
and there'll be no middleman...
...and you can just take it all.
What decision?
What are you talking about?
There never was a robbery.
| don't understand you.
What do you mean?
-A cover-up.
-A cover-up?
That's fraud.
They're guiltier than | am.
I'd thought you'd see it that way.
So Taggart must have found out,
and.
Right.
When the examiners came in
for their annual audit.
g*dd*mn it,
that's when Taggart found out.
-What's supposed to happen to the money?
-The money goes....
It can't go back to the bank.
They completely outdid themselves,
those guys.
They cover the embezzlement
with a robbery that never actually came off.
So the money that's missing is covered
by the insurance, the old fidelity bond.
The way | see it,
their success is our gain.
You just don't know
who to trust anymore.
Where'd you put the money?
Where'd you put the money?
| don't have the money yet.
Now, Mr. Stutz is making
some kind of arrangement...
...for that with Mr. Smedly.
Oh, hi, Mr. Stutz.
| didn't expect to see you so soon.
This is for you.
This is a surprise.
Life is full of surprises.
Marvelous.
Here you go.
I'd like to leave this with you.
It's from the other night.
What's this for?
I've decided I'd just rather not
take anything out of this.
| hope you'll understand.
You know, you're entitled to it.
Oh, | understand, it's just--
Well, | think I'll feel better this way.
| see.
You say
the examiners are in the boardroom?
That's right.
What's gotten into him?
Too much religion.
MANIGMA: John.
JOHN: Hey, Peter.
-So glad you could come.
JOHN: How's my timing?
-You look wonderful.
-You too.
| never knew any of your failures
to be those of timing.
JOHN:
| am not aware of any of my failings.
See, you'll have to brief me on that,
Reverend.
MANIGMA: How was the trip?
-Magnificent day.
-Yeah.
-Took just under an hour.
No, keep it.
MANIGMA:
You had your lunch?
JOHN: Ha-ha! You know me better
than to come unprepared, Peter.
MANIGMA:
Indeed. Man after my own heart.
-Come on in.
JOHN: Okay.
MANIGMA: Few things to tell you.
-Yeah.
Richard, don't look at me directly.
Just go about your business
in @ normal manner.
Did you bring it with you?
You know that | got in so late last night
that | didn't have time to get it all together?
I'd like to clear up this bloody business
as quickly as possible.
Believe me, sir, so would |.
All right, now,
how much time do you need?
A couple of hours, at least.
| see, well, then why don't you
take off early after lunch...
...and we'll meet you back here at 5:30
in the parking area?
RICHARD: Can we make it
in back of the church instead?
JACK:
Yeah, the church?
RICHARD: Well, it's just that
there are fewer people there...
...and I'd feel safer.
JACK:
All right.
-Welf, that's 5-30 in back of the church.
RICHARD: Fine.
[LAUGHING]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Hey, Grace?
Would you take care of my fish?
[PIANO PLAYING
CATHY:
Oh, hi.
-Is that your game?
-Yeah.
Do you realize that you practically
have bingo, Cathy...
...in every possible position?
Mm-hm.
With no competition, that's hardly fair.
Fairness doesn’t have
anything to do with it.
Where's my money?
That's mine.
What's that?
That's half.
Bye.
Now, listen.
You fellows stay here.
I'll go round back and meet with him.
That way, he'll feel less,
you know, pressed.
Yeah.
MANNY:
Julius.
Did you ever wanna be
the president of the bank?
Jeez, | don't know.
| don't think I've ever really given
that much thought.
-Well, don't.
-Hm?
You take some friendly advice:
not worth the headache.
Yeah, | know what you mean.
Too many decisions,
too many responsibilities.
Yeah.
Too damn many opinions.
-Yeah.
-Too damn little appreciation.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Let me ask you something.
Sure.
If you had the opportunity, right now,
what would you like to be?
Right now?
Yep, right now.
Clean.
Huh?
You know, I'd like to feel clean.
Honorable, not have any problems.
Yeah, but that way you might not
get anywhere at all.
How do you mean?
Well, | mean, you might never even get
the chance to be president.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, but you just said,
| mean, that there's so many headaches--
That's my point, you can't win.
Well, there's no justice to it.
Yeah.
No justice at all.
JULIUS:
Yeah, all right.
| don't wanna be president, though.
He's not there. It's almost 6.
| think I'll have a look inside.
Wait, I'll come with you.
I'm getting all cramped up in here.
JULIUS:
Yeah, me too.
Maybe Reverend Manigma
has seen him?
JACK:
| doubt it.
What the hell are we waiting for?
Let's go ask him.
JACK: Oh, well.
-Yeah.
I----...
Oh, evening worship isn't until 7:30...
...but of course,
you're welcome to stay here until then.
Oh, where is Reverend Manigma?
Oh, of course. Forgive me.
I'm Reverend DeVerite.
Reverend Manigma has been called away
on some personal matters.
I'll be stepping in for him
during his absence.
| see.
Perhaps there's something
| can help you with.
-Oh., no, nothing at all.
-No, nothing at all.
We were just, you know, passing by.
JOHN:
| see.
We're from the local bank.
This is Mr. Benchly,
the president of the bank.
-Mr. Stutz is the vice president.
-How do you do?
JULIUS:
I'm Julius Taggart. I'm the controller.
Mr. Taggart, of course.
Reverend Manigma said
that you would be stopping by.
I'm delighted to meet you.
He mentioned who might drop by?
Mr. Taggart, from the bank?
What might you
have dropped by for, huh?
-What might--?
-No, it was nothing.
-What?
-Nothing.
A small item, it's nothing important.
JOHN:
Small item indeed.
It's not the gift, but the feeling behind it
that matters, Mr. Taggart.
While | revel in your humility,
your generosity overwhelms me.
What were you giving away? Hm?
I-- You know.
No, | don't know.
We don't have it yet.
We don't have it yet.
Do you have the envelope
| gave you this morning?
What envelope?
My envelope.
You put it in your inside pocket.
-No.
-In your coat.
May | have it, please?
This is from all of us.
It's just a little collection
that we took up, and....
We expected it to be a lot more.
As a matter of fact,
there'll probably be a lot more.
We'd like for you
to keep it confidential, anonymous.
More? Now, what more
were you talking about?
Certainly. Certainly, of course.
| understand. Men in your position.
Oh, you needn’t apologize, Mr. Taggart.
This is wonderful. Just wonderful.
Our position?
Well, just wonderful.
Just wonderful.
[CAR HORN HONKING]
[HONKING HORN]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]
Jack Stutz?
Alex, hi, sir.
We were just talking about you
the other day.
This arrived at my office
just this morning.
And as president of Kaiser Insurance...
...it is my pleasure to present to you
this check from fidelity bonding...
...payable
to the Pewter Bank & Trust Company...
...covering the entire amount
of your recent loss...
...$203.679.70.
Why, that is tremendous. Thank you.
Look at that, gentlemen, will you?
Now, don't faint.
Well, on behalf of everybody....
... want to congratulate you
on your care and greatness.
KAISER:
Well, thank you very much.
And, as you know, Kaiser Insurance’s
personal service is but our apéritif.
-Excuse me, gentlemen.
-Oh, Mr. Smedly.
-Where the hell have you been?
-Mr. Stutz, I'd like to talk to you.
No, not now.
You go along and play in the parade.
Go ahead.
Mr. Taggart,
I'd like to talk to you, please.
We just got the check.
Oh, that's terrific.
Well, | just got the money.
Two hundred thousand, huh?
Two hundred three thousand.
RICHARD:
Oh, really?
That's funny, there's only
a hundred thousand in this bag.
Here you go.
| know how thrilled you must be
to finally get this money back.
It's still covered.
And some odd cents.
Hold this.
| gave my share to the Church.
He gave it to me, | gave it to the Church.
| gotta get over there.
-He shared it with the Church?
MANNY: Jack.
Jack, will you take this?
I think I'm gonna faint.
JACK:
It's very easily explained.
Look, let's go inside
and we'll sort this whole thing out.
Sort it inside. Open the door, please.
Let's go. Come on.
And you, you stay outside
and guard somebody, will you?
Yes, boss.
Great Bank Hoax, The (1977)
Moderator: Maskath3