First my mother
and now your father.
They've both come back to us.
Yes.
I have so few memories.
Just flashes, really.
Catch and Fire is just
a king and a young prince
kind of thing.
[GIGGLING]
But I clearly remember,
he loved me.
[CRYING]
MAGNUS:
I'm so sorry I missed
Derek and Odette's coronation.
After all these years,
a new king and queen
in Chamberg.
Does King Derek know?
No. He knows nothing.
What don't I know?
Oh, dear.
UBERTA:
Derek, your father
was accused...
of trying to make a deal
with pirates.
[SOBBING]
Against the will
of the Council of Crowns.
Many believed
it nearly destroyed the Council.
I'm sorry I never told you,
Derek.
I thought Max deserved
to be remembered
as the great father
and king he was.
I don't believe it.
Let it rest, Derek.
It's too painful.
Mother,
do you really believe
that Father was making
a deal with pirates?
No, but--
Rogers, do you believe it?
No, I do not.
Then tomorrow,
when I go to take Father's seat
on the Council of Crowns,
we'll start
getting some answers.
Someone in that fortress
knows the truth about my father.
When I was a child,
our groundskeeper would say:
"It only takes a little smoke to
drive a gopher out of its hole."
Smoke them out. Right.
Can you believe
it wasn't too long ago
when your mother and father
were doing this same thing?
Yes.
Did I ever tell you about
the speech my mother gave?
No.
It was classic.
You apply the smoke,
I'll keep my eye
on their reactions.
King Derek and Queen Odette
of Chamberg.
Welcome to
the Council of Crowns.
Come, please.
Today, King Derek, as the new
sovereign of Chamberg,
I invite you
to address the Council.
Thank you, King Ivan.
I'll be brief.
Oh, you mean, he's not going
to invite his wife to speak?
Right. "Save the dogs."
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, dear.
I'm honored to be with you
in this historic room,
just as my honest father was.
Most of you
remember him as I do,
a great and loyal man.
I think he would want me to help
restore our image as a council
in which everyone
is treated fairly
and no one
is falsely accused.
Our image
needs no restoring.
And we have never
falsely accused anyone,
especially not
your double-dealing father.
King Edgar, we will not speak
badly of King Maximillian.
[GRUMBLES]
[METALLIC CLICKING]
I can't tell you
how pleased I am
to have Chamberg represented
on the Council again.
It is my great honor.
IVAN:
We have something in common,
King Derek.
My mother, like your father,
was chair of the Council.
You'll find paintings of all
the past chairs of the Council
throughout the fortress.
And my father's portrait?
IVAN:
Your father, famously,
would never sit for a portrait.
DEREK:
Oh, but we have one now.
We could loan it to you.
You don't say.
Well, I'll certainly bring that
up to the Council.
I think we saw
a couple of gophers
pop out
of their holes today.
Your groundskeeper
was a wise man.
[CARRIAGE CLANKS]
[GRUNTS]
Oh!
Are you all right?
Just think if that wheel came
off when we were down there.
It never would have.
Someone loosened it
so it would come off right away.
Just to send us a message.
Message?
"Don't even think about
investigating
your father's death."
Maybe we used
a little too much smoke.
Well, they're about to get more
'cause we're not going home.
[CHUCKLING]
My, aren't you
a mysterious couple.
Oh, why, thank you.
Ha, ha.
Do you have a room
available?
I believe I do.
Wait! Let me guess.
Room number nine?
[GASPS]
Who are you people?
Barrymore and Barrymore.
Traveling magicians.
Never again will I see some--
[EXCLAIMS]
Hey, Francine.
Guess who's staying
at my hotel!
No, no, no. No one can know
we're here.
Why?
Because while we're here,
we'll be working on magic,
the kind never seen before.
You don't say.
Tell me more.
There are people out there
who are constantly trying
to steal our secrets.
[GASPS]
Who are they? Spies? Aliens?
The only question
that matters right now is:
Can you promise
to keep our visit a secret?
[SHUSHES]
Shh.
Hey, Francine, never mind!
Just a couple of nobodies
from nowhere.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
We did it.
She really believed us.
Not bad for a couple
of nobodies from nowhere.
What do you say we drop
this king and queen thing
and do magic full-time?
[LAUGHS]
Sure.
What girl wouldn't want
to spend the rest of her life
getting sawed in half?
[IN UNISON]
We'd better get to work.
[GUNDERMAN HUMMING A TUNE]
World-famous magicians
Right here in my hotel
[COOS]
Are you spying on me?
Well, there's no need. I--
FRANCINE:
Hey, Gundi, what's the gossip?
I'm very aware
that I made a promise not to--
[INHALES SHARPLY]
Not to say a word.
FRANCINE:
You can't talk?
Laryngitis?
Sounds like...
Okay. Uh-- Sleep?
No, no, rest.
Sounds like "rest."
Guest!
You have a guest.
Dearie,
I can barely see you.
A cat burglar.
Your guest is a ghost.
Wh-what does that mean?
The Phantom.
What am I thinking?
I can tell people
the way I usually do
and still keep my promise.
[COOS]
DEREK:
I'm thinking him...
'cause this and that.
ODETTE:
But how would you explain that?
And this?
Hm.
You thinking
what I'm thinking?
If we're wrong,
we're accusing
the most powerful people
in the world.
And if we're right...
We're accusing the most
powerful people in the world.
We need help.
Mmm... Perhaps a tad bigger.
Yes, that's very--
Wow.
Aah!
That's a bit on the beefy side,
wouldn't you say?
[SCOFFS]
I'd say it's quite accurate.
Really?
What, you been looking
in one of those
funhouse mirrors?
It's a regular mirror.
What are you,
an art critic now?
Or have you come here
for a reason?
Oh, jeez!
Derek and Odette sent me.
They need your help.
Well, why didn't you say so?
Well, I was gonna, but then
all the muscles threw me.
Why? I've looked like this
my whole life.
No, no, no,
I was talking about the--
Whoa...
Never mind.
[GROANS]
I don't keep any money
in my booth.
[LAUGHING]
No, no, no, we're not robbers.
Just entertainers.
Magicians.
Oh. Whew!
We're working on a new
fantastical show
about how King Maximillian
mysteriously disappeared.
But we'd like to say our show
is inspired by real events.
So were you here
during King Maximillian's time?
No. That would have been
Clem Fleming.
"Old Clem," they called him.
Got fired.
Something about not reporting
something he saw.
I don't know.
He lives out
Periwinkle way now.
Kind of a hermit-y fellow.
All broken-hearted.
Poor guy.
WOMAN:
It's them, the Barrymores!
We love you!
What?
Please do some magic for us.
You're the greatest.
No magic today, ladies.
So sorry.
[SHOP BELL RINGS]
Welcome to Crispin's Accounting,
taking care of all
your accounting needs.
Is it no longer customary
to stand for a king?
[GASPS]
Apologies, Highness.
Sit.
You sit?
You stand?
How dare you?
Go ahead, spin.
Now bark like a dog.
Ruff.
Well, I think we've established
the power of a king.
[LAUGHS]
I understand
you are a collector of blades.
Hm...
Light.
It's fast.
But such a small blade.
A rapier, Highness. Heh.
Primarily for thrusting.
Nah.
I need blades.
'Tis a two-handed longsword,
Highness.
I know that.
[GRUNTING]
[CHUCKLES]
Ah...
A short sword.
It's a dagger.
Sorry.
Yes, a dagger.
Why didn't I think of that?
It sends the perfect message.
Sit.
How do so many people
know about us?
"Gunderman's Gossip.
The Barrymores are here."
[SCOFFS]
So much for keeping our secret.
Trouble at 12 o'clock.
What?
You must be Barrymore
and Barrymore.
So sorry, no time
for autographs.
No, no, I don't need
your autograph.
I'm a king.
But I do have a question
only you can answer.
Oh, uh...
Well, okay.
Let's say someone wanted
to make something disappear
so no one would ask
any questions about it.
How would one go about that?
Look! There they are.
Oh, you mean
something like this.
Yes. Exactly.
Magic.
Like that.
We love you, Barrymores!
Hello?
Hello?
Yes, madam, thank you very much.
In what room will I find...
the Barrymores?
[CHUCKLES]
Wouldn't you like to know.
I know you've come
to steal their secrets.
Madam, I am their manager,
A.J. Pennypacker.
And I am here
on urgent business.
Their room number, please.
Make it worth my while.
You give me something
about the Barrymores...
[CHUCKLES]
...and I'll give you
the room number.
Oh, all right. Uh...
He wears a size ten shoe,
and she's a six.
Six and a half,
depending on the style.
You need to do better
than that.
What are they like?
Are they rich?
Do they fight?
Yes, okay, they fight like
monkeys. Room number?
What do they fight about?
I-I don't know.
He's a flirt,
and she has a gambling problem.
He's a thief.
She has a wooden leg.
He wears a toupee.
Room number?
You told!
Well, I-I didn't say
what room you were in.
Not even your manager
could drag it out of me.
Hm... Your hair
looks real to me.
Are you completely bald?
And is it horses
you gamble on?
I-- I see.
Well, in fact, uh... Hm?
Hey, Francine.
I'm not bald,
and my wife doesn't gamble.
Thanks for nothing.
Rogers, I hope you brought
all your fancy spy gear.
I have brought something
even better.
You carry your dogs
in a suitcase?
No, those are my mother's
stuffed animals.
Made in the likeness
of her award-winning pooches.
This, That, and The Other.
In reality,
they are undercover spies.
Speed, Puffin, and Jean-Bob.
I've never been so humiliated.
No one will suspect
dogs of spying.
You know who else
they'd never suspect? A frog!
But if they see you,
you'll get smacked with a broom
and thrown out the window.
Good point.
Thanks for coming to help,
fellas.
[EXCLAIMS]
Okay, our first line
of inquiry,
Clem Fleming,
the old harbormaster.
We have a feeling he saw
something that night. Now--
[EXCLAIMS, CHUCKLES]
Oh, a clean house
is a happy house.
Oh! Eavesdropper!
So Clem lives somewhere in the
woods outside of Periwinkle.
PUFFIN:
I'm on it!
All clear.
DEREK:
A flying dog?
Well, even the best plans
have a little wrinkle.
[CHUCKLES]
Forgot your pillow chocolates.
Why, thank you.
She is going to be trouble.
Okay,
Speed and Jean-Bob,
find a way to get
inside King Edgar's house.
He clearly has something
he's trying to hide.
It's probably a bad rash.
It's way more serious
than that.
Oh, a bald spot, then.
How could the Council
be so sure
my father wanted
to negotiate with pirates?
Rogers, you were there
at the time, right?
Yes, but all I remember
is the grief we all felt.
There must have been
some reason they thought that.
Yes, there must have been.
Yes, yes, there was something.
William and Ivan came
to tell Uberta the sad news.
[GROANS]
He said, "I've known
many a good king,
but Max was
the best of them all."
And then there was talk
of-of Max's reputation, of a--
Of a tarnish.
WILLIAM [VOICE OVER]:
To tarnish Max's image
for one misstep
benefits no one.
Tarnish? How?
Did they overhear him
say something?
See him do
something?
Think, Rogers.
Maybe there was--
[GASPS]
His journal!
Journal?
They said they found
his journal. Proof!
And they swore
that no one would ever see it.
Where would you
hide a journal?
Oh, I think I know.
Okay, there's a room
at the Council, a secure room.
Yes, I saw it too.
Locked doors have never
really given me a problem,
but for this, I'll need
some living hands with me.
I'd be honored,
Scully.
Derek and Odette,
we'll take care of this.
You stay safe
right here.
King Derek and Queen Odette
as magicians?
This story
almost writes itself.
[GIGGLES]
I would like to pay you
to do a painting for me.
Actually, we would like
a painting for us.
As king,
it would be nice
if I could at least
say a few words.
Here's a few
you can say right now:
"My wife
will do the talking."
[GULPS]
Heh. I will allow my wife
to do the talking.
I want you to capture the moment
of my triumph over Queen Uberta,
when I destroyed
her perfectly planned coronation
for Derek and Odette.
Oh, boy!
You should have seen it.
Okay, you know what?
No more words for you!
Sound effects only!
But-- But I--
Uh-uh-uh-uh!
Sound effects only.
Click.
It must include my dogs
spoiling her glorious music.
[IMITATES TRUMPET FANFARE]
[HOWLS]
The falling of the banners.
[IMITATES CRASH]
The collapse
of the orchestra shell!
[IMITATES expl*si*n]
The ill-timed expl*si*n
of the fireworks!
[IMITATING
FIREWORKS EXPLODING]
Enough!
I'll do it.
You sure this is it?
SPEED:
Pretty sure.
Time to get inside.
[WHINING]
Hey, limping and whining
was my plan!
Sounds more like mooing.
People don't take in
injured cows, you know.
You got something better?
I've been whining all my life.
[WHINING PITIFULLY]
Looks like a lady's interested.
I told you.
Is she coming to get me?
Yep.
Shoo!
Speed! Help! Speed!
Are you the one
I heard whining?
[WHINING]
Aw. Come with Queen Venice.
He's as slow as a turtle.
The poor thing.
Ugh. Just keep him
out of my office.
You want a pork chop?
Not really. But okay.
"Be ready, my friend.
A merchant ship,
heavy with riches,
will pass in two days."
[GASPS]
Venice!
Come get your turtle-dog!
[PANTING]
[GASPS]
[GROWLS]
[SIGHS]
[GASPS]
A flying dog?
Oh. Hello, Clem.
Whoa.
Oh...
I can see
that might be alarming.
Ah, there you go, Clem.
A nice cup of tea for you.
I thought you were
a flying dog.
[LAUGHS]
Nothing of the sort.
Just a seabird
in a dog costume
who's come to talk
to you like a man.
Well, that's pretty weird too.
[SHUDDERS]
Oh, stay with me, Clem.
Whoa.
Speed.
I found the proof.
[SNORING]
SPEED:
We need the letter
he's sleeping on.
And by "we," you mean "me."
Uh-uh.
Yeah, you're right.
That desk is too high for you.
Seriously?
Oh-ho-ho.
Guess I was wrong.
Since you're there,
get the letter.
No way, Mr. Tricky Turtle.
Never mind.
It's too hard for you.
Oh, really? Watch me.
[GROANS]
I'm gonna throw you overboard.
You'll be fish food.
He's just dreaming.
Seems pretty real to me.
Good job, Jean-Bob.
Jump down. Let's go.
Oh. Are you sure
I can do it?
CLEM:
I feel like I got blamed
for the death of King Max.
They banished me to this forest
for not doing my job.
How did you miss
Max's ship leaving the harbor?
CLEM:
That's the curious thing.
I saw fire
and left my post to help.
Turned out it was just
an alley fire, set on purpose.
Just as I got back,
I saw Max's ship sailing out.
The Council,
especially King Edgar,
said I was just
making up excuses.
Well, you've been very helpful.
Whoa.
[THUDS]
Oh, well,
I'm almost offended.
[GRUNTS]
They should have made that
table a little longer.
"Taking a break from inventory
to use the castle lavatory"?
Heh-heh.
Now, that's cute. Yeah.
[DOORKNOB TURNING]
Click.
You start there.
I'll start here.
It's not here.
Are you sure?
I'll check again.
Nope, not here.
Maybe they destroyed it
after all.
[KNOCKING]
[SCOFFS]
Who are you?
I'm the new guy.
I-I don't know anything.
You'll have to come back.
Look, new guy, Queen Sophia
doesn't have time to wait.
She wants
the Bradley documents now.
Your patience
would be appreciated.
I don't work
at lightning speed.
I can't be pushed like this!
[SCOFFS]
Check the inventory log!
[IN UNISON]
Inventory log.
Ah.
"Agreements.
Bylaws. Financial.
Journals.
Lawrence. Lucius. Luther. Mary.
King Maximillian."
What, no location?
Nothing?
That doesn't mean
it's not here.
[KNOCKING]
I'm working on it! Please!
Get inside these walls.
[HOLLOW TAP]
Scully.
Something's there,
all right.
[GASPS]
His journal.
"I believe with all my soul
that I can help
the pirates see reason.
I cannot wait for the Council
or risk them saying no."
No. He negotiated
with pirates?
No. No! He didn't! Look.
It's a forgery!
I know Max's hand like my own.
He never made
these little flares on his F's.
Scully, Bradley documents,
please.
Found them.
Please don't mark the pages.
They're due back on the 19th.
Late fees apply.
These curly F's are the key,
Scully.
But finding the foul forger
won't be easy.
We must search everywhere
for a match.
Every posted notice,
every menu, every--
Tavern sign?
Yes, of course.
Every jot, every scribble,
every--
Tavern sign.
Yes, Scully, every tavern sign.
Every-- Scully! Look there!
Curly F's!
Ah.
Chance favors
the prepared mind.
[GROANS]
You wanted to see me?
Tiff Griffin himself,
I presume.
You want something?
It's just that I love
your sign.
Great.
May I ask who made it?
We don't like questions
around here.
Ah. Fair enough.
I want to know
who made your sign.
Isn't that still a question?
No, but that was.
It's time for you to leave.
But you haven't addressed
my statement
that was definitely
not a question.
There's the door.
And there's a window.
You looking for trouble?
Objection! Question!
What do you want?
Who made your sign?
I did.
Ah. Well, thank you.
I thought we would have heard
from someone by now.
I hope
they're all okay.
DEREK:
"Go home"?
How could they know who we are?
DEREK:
Shh!
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Aah! It's just me!
[SIGHS]
Someone knows we're here.
Oh, yes.
And I can explain that.
"King Derek and Queen Odette,
the great pretenders."
Oh, no. If Edgar reads this--
Oh, he's read it,
all right.
Him, the Council,
and everyone in this town.
But we're so close
to the truth.
You're sure the letters on this
man's sign matched this letter?
Oh, Tiff Griffin's your man,
all right.
That tavern's just a cover
for his forgery business.
Then let's go
and get his confession. Now.
It's too late.
First we've gotta prove
we're the Barrymores.
We might be able to fool
one or two of the Council,
but all of them?
What are the chances?
One in ten?
Oh...
I can't see a way out.
I can.
Maybe. Possibly. I--
It's risky.
Risks are
all we have left.
If we fail, your names will be
ruined, same as your father's.
Forever.
We're listening.
Well, you're the one
who called us together, Edgar.
What action
do you suggest?
[SCOFFING]
Is there even a question?
I-I don't think so.
Uh-- Is there?
I move that we expel King Derek
from this Council!
I was literally
just going to say that.
Obviously, betrayal
runs in his family.
Careful, Edgar.
This is, after all,
a gossip page.
And yet Derek's chair
is empty!
Where is he, if he's not
off posing as a magician
for who knows what reason?
Announcing Mister--
Yes, thank you very much.
I'll handle
my own introduction.
What is the meaning of this?
Apologies, all,
but sometimes
one must risk death
to put down a lie like the one
you now hold in your very hands.
Throw him out of here!
A.J. Pennypacker's the name.
And I can prove
that the Barrymores
are not King Derek
and Queen Odette.
And I know because...
I am the Barrymores' agent.
And to prove my point,
I give you none other than
the Barrymores themselves.
Greetings,
kings and queens so wise.
We call upon
Your wisdom now
And the vision you possess
If you doubt what's here
In front of you
Then put the Barrymores
To the test
We have all due respect
For King Derek
And Queen Odette
In honesty and virtue
They exceed
But when it comes
To trickery
Look no further than we
Open up your eyes and see
Imagine Queen Odette
Pulls a rabbit from a hat
It's sure to lack
A certain showman's style
There's only one position
It takes a real magician
To levitate
An oversized reptile
[BOTH EXCLAIMING]
So if you have
The misconception
We aren't exactly who we say
Ask yourself just one
Important question
When you're staring
At impossible
Face-to-face
With the incredible
Does it come as a surprise
When you just
Believe your eyes?
Only we can do
All the things
That will astonish you
You'll see
There's no disguise
When you just believe
Your eyes
Our final illusion...
Will end all confusion...
[IN UNISON]
About our true identity.
We'll give you
this clue:
It requires each of you
and the touch
of royalty.
Kings and queens,
place your royal hands
upon this sacred table.
Breathe in deep
and concentrate.
Clear your minds
and think of nothing.
Now close your eyes
and feel the power rise.
A power than can only come
[IN UNISON]
from the royals of the kingdom!
But wait! Your so-called magic
has failed.
See, their thrones are still
very much there.
Didn't they say that it
required only a royal's touch?
[LAUGHTER]
When you're staring
At impossible
Face-to-face
With the incredible
It comes as no surprise
When you just
Believe your eyes
Only we can do
All the things
That will astonish you
You'll see there's no disguise
When you just believe
When you're staring
At impossible
Face-to-face
With the incredible
It comes as no surprise
When you just believe
Your eyes
Only we can do
All the things
That will astonish you
You'll see there's no disguise
When you just believe
When you just believe
When you just believe
Your eyes.
Remove your mask.
Remove it,
or I will remove it for you!
Remove it, or I--
DEREK: Sorry I'm late.
[STAMMERING]
Huh?
Sorry, I kind of
stole your look.
Oh, yes, please,
apologies to your wife too.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Apologies, King Derek.
This lady almost got you
into a peck of trouble.
[CHUCKLES]
Since nothing we do today
will be as fun as this was,
I say we adjourn.
And tell Mrs. Gunderman
she is to collect every one
of her little gossip pages
before sundown.
And to you...
[CHUCKLES]
...bravo!
[WHISTLES]
Well, we really dodged an arrow
with that one.
[CACKLING]
It worked!
They didn't even notice
Pennypacker leave the room
during your performance.
High five. Low five.
Medium five. Full ten!
I don't know
how you did it,
but we both know
who you really are.
Well, no one will believe you
if you write about it again.
True. You've ruined
my reputation.
As a writer? Or as the woman
who spies on her guests?
That's called
"digging for facts."
Okay, how about this?
We're going to reveal the truth
about my father's disappearance.
When we do, you can be
the first to tell the story.
If you'll truly
keep our secret this time.
I want a guaranteed exclusive.
Deal.
ODETTE:
Let's not dance around
the subject, Mr. Griffin.
We need the help
of someone who...
has your particular
set of skills.
You see, the Frankenhoffers
stole our egg trick.
Your egg trick?
[QUACKS]
We worked too long on that to
have someone steal it from us.
We think the Frankenhoffers
should get a letter
from, say, King Ivan.
"Dear Frankenhoffers,
I am a patron of the Barrymores,
etcetera, etcetera."
We'll leave the threatening
language to you.
A letter from a king
isn't cheap.
Oh, money is not a problem.
Of course, we need to be sure
you can handle the job.
Family letters?
Farmers' deeds?
Nothing for royalty?
I don't think he's our man.
Good day, Mr. Griffin.
I've done a royal forgery
that would spin your head.
Ooh. Spin away.
We'd love to see it.
You never will.
No one will.
It's so good,
it was hidden away forever.
[SCOFFS]
Likely story.
Are you calling me a liar?
Well, who paid you
to do it, then?
King--
Go on. King...
I can't tell you.
Then we can't pay you.
And you're sure
Edgar wrote this?
Watched and heard him do it.
Good job, Speed.
Couldn't have done it
without my buddy.
Frankly, I wish you would have.
Listen to this.
"Be ready, my friend.
A merchant ship, heavy with
riches, will pass in two days."
He's working with pirates.
Yes. Exactly what he
accused my father of.
"Take the treasure,
but take no prisoners"?
Oh, the man's a traitor.
"And remember your promise,
half the treasure is mine."
Well, Tiff said
he was paid by a king
to forge your father's diary.
I think now we know
which one it was.
It's all coming together.
Oh, Clem said, on the night
your father sailed out,
a mysterious fire was set
to draw him away from the dock.
So maybe Edgar's pirate friends
stole Max's ship.
To make it look like
Max had sailed out on his own.
And the pirates probably
all had eye patches.
I just wanted to add something.
I think we know who did it.
Now we just
need to prove it.
Or get him
to confess.
Or get someone
to do his confessing for him.
I think I may know
just the man.
Welcome to Crispin's
Accounting,
taking care of all your
accounting needs.
Oh, good.
Because there certainly needs
to be...
an accounting.
Uh...
You'll have to come back
next week.
My, uh,
abacus is broken.
Oh, not a problem.
Because I'm looking
for a certain fellow
who learned his sailing skills
from a certain genius,
and then wasted his training
on becoming a pirate!
I don't know
who you're talking about.
It's him!
What?
You'll have to forgive
my partner.
He takes his work
very seriously.
What's this about?
I'll ask the questions here.
Well, sometimes she will.
We alternate.
The point is, you don't ask
the questions.
Hey, listen, I--
Hay is for horses!
You wanna talk to me?
My name is Mr. Smyth.
And this is Mrs. Smyth.
And that's Smyth
with a Y.
DEREK:
Right.
So you can tell right there
it's definitely not
a made-up name.
You see, in our job, Crispin,
you get hunches.
And our hunch says King Max's
ship was stolen by pirates.
That's got nothing
to do with me!
No? Where were you the night
King Maximillian disappeared?
Well, guess what.
I'm sure I was right here.
It was 30 years ago
this month.
So what?
You've only been
in business for 25.
You see, we think you were
sailing under the flag of, uh...
Captain Firebeard.
That's right.
Firebeard!
Admit it, you were one of
the infamous Firebeard Fellas.
No, not me!
ROGERS:
"I'm a Firebeard Fellow."
Stealing a king's ship?
People have spent their lives
in jail for less.
Okay, I was a Firebeard Fellow,
but I didn't--
[FABRIC TEARS]
"I helped steal
King Max's ship,
and all I got
was this lousy tattoo."
Oh, Crispin,
your mouth keeps denying,
but your body
keeps confessing.
Crispin, it's important that
you tell us everything you know.
I've lived
with so much guilt...
all my life.
Yes, I know.
We didn't just take
King Max's ship...
we took Max.
[BOTH GASP]
Why?
Because we didn't have a choice.
We were following orders.
What happened to my--?
I mean, to King Maximillian?
Oh.
You're Prince Derek.
King Derek now.
And Queen Odette.
This won't be easy to hear.
We dropped him in a small boat
and let the current take him
to Unscapable Island.
[GASPS]
No one has ever returned
from that island.
It's under
an ancient spell.
And the ship?
CRISPIN:
We blew it up...
[GASPS]
...then planted his journal
on the wreckage.
Who was behind this?
I promise, I don't know!
Only Captain Firebeard
can tell you more.
But, you know, I haven't seen
him since I left that life.
Try to find a map or anything
you can about Firebeard.
We'll keep Edgar occupied.
Got it.
Yes.
We were just out for a walk,
and this dog led us here.
We assumed he must be yours.
Ugh. No. But I'm glad
you stopped by.
That disappearing trick you do
completely fixed my problem.
Oh, uh... It did?
Yes. It's the main feature
in my next book.
Next book?
There they are! All 13!
I Was a Pirate Bride
by Edgar Rex?
Mm-hm. My pen name.
Here's my next one.
The Pirate Magician,
I'll call it.
Almost done.
Although last night, somehow,
I lost a page I was working on.
You didn't make it disappear,
did you?
[LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
"Make it disappear."
Sorry, should have realized
it was just a book.
It's not your fault,
Speed.
We all got it wrong.
Well, technically, I didn't.
But I can see
why the rest of you feel bad.
Well, if it wasn't King Edgar,
who was it?
[KNOCKING]
I found Firebeard.
I told him I wanted
to join up again
and that I might bring
a couple new recruits.
Thank you, Crispin.
Meet me
at the harbor tonight.
I can't bring your father back,
but I can help you figure out
who's responsible.
Right, then.
If you're going to pose
as pirates,
we better get started
with your new faces.
Oh, no. Just me.
A pirate ship is no place
for a queen.
I'll be a queen tomorrow...
[IN PIRATE ACCENT]
...but a pirate today!
Do your best, Rogers,
ye master of disguise.
Sorry, Majesties, but no one
brings someone to Firebeard
without taking precautions.
What have we got here?
New recruits, captain.
Good ones!
Says you.
Name?
What friends I have
call me Big Nose.
[CHUCKLES]
Aye. They'd be lying
if they didn't.
Skills?
A plethora.
But bow and arrow
is me finest.
[LAUGHS]
If you hit one,
you're a Firebird Fellow.
Wh--?
[LAUGHS]
Huh?
Meet your new boss, men.
And this other creature?
You brought me a girl pirate?
Not just any girl.
Bad Sally.
[CACKLES]
Sorry, I'd walk the plank meself
before I took on a girl pirate.
Take her back, Crispy!
But, boss, we need a lady
to do a bit of stitching.
And we did throw
the last cook overboard.
What do you say to that,
Bad Sally?
Can ye cook and sew?
The only thing
I've ever stitched
was me own busted skull
once or twice.
And the only hungry mouths
I'll ever fill are the sharks'.
Never mind, boss,
we don't need no stitching.
Yeah,
I'm fine with dry bread.
Sorry, Bad Sally, the high seas
are for the brave,
not shivering girls.
[LAUGHTER]
Huh?
[LAUGHS]
By Jove,
Bad Sally's the bravest woman
on land or sea!
To me cabin.
So there she lay,
this fancy queen,
snoring her head off,
while Bad Sally helped herself
to her gold gleaming bracelet,
her sparkling necklace,
her glimmering ring,
and, yes,
even her shining crown.
You didn't.
She did!
[LAUGHING HEARTILY]
Yep, no one's made more off
royalty than my Bad Sally.
Well, as grand a story
as that may be,
I may have a better one.
Oh, here comes
a real whopper, then.
No, no, no. On my mother's
grave, this one's true.
You heard of King Max, then,
and how he disappeared?
Aye.
Not man or woman alive
don't know about the mystery
of King Max.
You want us to believe
that was you? Ha!
Not all me.
A bit of partnership,
you might say,
between meself and a certain
rival of King Max's.
Say on, then.
You see, me job
was to make it look like
good old King Max was cutting
a deal with us scurvy pirates.
So we kidnapped him.
Had to whip up
a little diversion
to get him out to sea,
but get him out to sea we did.
Tell my family I love them.
FIREBEARD:
We dropped old Max
into a little dinghy...
gave him a wee shove...
and let the current take him
straight to Unscapable Island.
[LAUGHS]
Pity, he seemed like
a good bloke to me.
Don't sound like
you needed no partner.
Aye, but I did.
'Cause after dealing with Max,
we att*cked
the harbor for show.
Old King Ivan made sure we were
safe from his mighty cannon.
'Twere all his plan,
from start to finish.
In exchange for our little
performance,
Ivan promised to get rid
of all me pirate rivals,
and that he did.
And that was the end
of old Max.
Steady, Big Nose.
Or should I say King Derek?
The name's Big Nose!
[LAUGHS]
You draw back your arrows
with the royal grip.
And let's just say, I know
too well the look of a man
who's come to avenge
his father's death.
And that makes you
Queen Odette.
And you a traitor.
After them!
Quick!
Here!
What are you doing? Get in!
PIRATE:
Get him! There he is!
Watch out!
Hey!
Crispin!
Long live Derek and Odette.
Come on!
For King Maximillian!
I do hope,
Uberta,
that you will enjoy
my little gift.
Well, if Magnus
was involved,
I'm sure it will be
quite splendid.
Just so.
May we both remember
this moment forever.
[GASPS]
It's... beautiful.
You gave me what I didn't get
that day...
the perfect coronation
for Derek and Odette.
Oh, dear Wixom,
I can't thank you enough.
I should have been the one
to apologize first.
Apol-- No.
I...
I'm so glad
we're going to be
friends.
We are?
If you will allow it.
I-- I think I'd like that.
WIXOM:
Magnus.
Thank you.
[GASPS]
Even I'm scared
and I know it's fake.
Ivan.
Maximillian?
Why did you betray me, Ivan?
You said we were friends.
What--? What do
you want from me?
The truth, Ivan.
The truth!
The truth?
The truth is, I was supposed to
be the next head of the Council.
Then here you come,
with your sickening acts
of mercy and compassion.
Sebastian was a fool
to choose you.
You stole my glory.
It was the perfect plan!
I'm glad I did it.
No one has ever
figured it out.
So out with you!
Out, ghost.
You have no power here.
Ivan.
Mother.
Oh, Ivan, you have
dishonored our family.
No, Mother.
I'm head of the Council,
like you were.
By deceit.
By evil means.
Confess your crimes!
[SOBBING]
Yes. Yes, I did it all.
I had Max kidnapped
and sent to Unscapable Island.
Forgive me, Mother.
Forgive me.
And scene.
[GRUNTING]
Get your hands off me!
"Gunderman's Gazette.
Real news."
Ugh. Sounds boring.
"A Gunderman exclusive.
King Ivan betrayed King Max!"
What? Give me that.
We both heard Rogers say it.
No one has ever returned
from Unscapable Island.
Tall tales.
My father deserves to be
buried in his own kingdom.
I know.
I have to go.
I know.
But I will come back.
I love you.
I know.
I love you.
DEREK:
We must be close.
I feel the current
pulling me now.
Derek, I just wanna say,
your father would be
so proud of you.
If the worst happens, Scully...
Count on me.
I'll be there for Odette
every day.
Thank you, Scully.
You've been a great friend.
[GASPS]
Derek. Derek. Derek!
Wh--? Derek!
[THUNDER CRASHING]
[DEREK GRUNTING]
[COUGHS]
[CRIES OUT]
I'm sorry, Odette.
[GASPS]
[GRUNTS]
Dad?
Derek?
I knew you'd come.
How could I not?
I love you, Dad.
[GASPS]
Apologies. I know,
it's a lot to take in.
Tell them we're safe, Scully.
I'll report back!
And send a boat!
I have a lot to tell you.
[SIGHS]
I wish I looked better
for your mother.
Dad, Mom doesn't care.
To her, you'll look
like a dream come true.
Sorry about this, King Derek.
What happened
to "family only"?
I don't know. Word got out.
[LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
My Bertie.
As pretty as the day we met.
My heart is healed.
Oh. I've missed you so much.
DEREK:
Father?
This is Odette.
My queen.
My love.
My Swan Princess.
Wow.
My son has found an angel.
You have been a companion
to my widowed wife...
and a father to my son.
Thank you, my friend.
'Twas my greatest honor.
MAX:
"Our king lives."
Your Highness.
Welcome home, Cousin Max.
We're landowners now,
thanks to you.
And I a better man,
thanks to you.
Ha.
Crispin.
He survived.
Ah. Crispin.
Thank you for saving my son
and Queen Odette.
Please, forgive me
for what I did to you.
It was... It was cowardly.
We are friends, Crispin.
Forever.
[UBERTA CLEARS THROAT]
And you remember
my dear friend, Queen Wixom.
Really?
[CHUCKLES]
I obviously have a lot
of catching up to do.
Can you see
All the people beaming?
See their smiles
As your eyes meet theirs
And I
I never could have found peace
In this heart of stone
Without you here
Now you are home
Through your eyes
We can see how time passed
See the years
Have gone too fast
And yet it's like
You've always lived here
In our lonely hearts
From the start
Now you are home
You are home
Right where you belong
This is home
Let us celebrate in song
You are home, you are home
Now with you
We are all home too
I've loved you longer
Than time can measure
You're my greatest love
And treasure
With you
I'm home forever after
You are home
Right where you belong
This is home
Let us celebrate in song
You are home, you are home
Now with you
We are all home too
I humbly accept your desire
to return as the Council chair.
With the permission
of my son...
Lord Rogers will serve
as my assistant.
And as my wife is no longer
queen of Chamberg,
neither am I its king.
That honor falls
to Derek and Odette.
Their wisdom and goodness will
be an asset to this Council.
Now...
what's in the past
is in the past.
Let us set about
our work of peace and mercy.
When you disappeared, King Max,
I felt haunted
because I knew I'd...
Well, I'd never have the chance
to thank you for saving me.
I just made an opportunity,
that's all.
You saved yourself,
good Magnus.
Magnus, you have the most
important skill of a master.
You make everyone look better
than they actually do.
So you're saying
I don't look that good?
Well, you're in a category
all your own, my dear.
No artist, not even Magnus here,
could capture your beauty.
Nice save.
And as for you,
the Swan Princess,
Derek told me
the whole story.
But I can't wait
to hear it all again from you.
It will be my honor.
So there you were,
a swan and a prisoner!
And everyone
believed I was gone,
except your son, of course.
Good thing he inherited
his mother's determination.
And your courage,
Father.
May I call you Father?
MAX:
Yes, of course.
All the day long.
I love these people.
They're brave, they're funny.
They make you proud
to be royalty, you know?
Never mind. You don't know.
Far longer than forever
I'll hold you in my heart
It's almost like
You're here with me
Although we're far apart
[MAN]
Far longer than forever
As constant as a star
I close my eyes and I am
Where you are
Sure as the dawn
Brings the sunrise
We've an unshakable bond
[WOMAN]
Destined to last
For a lifetime
And beyond
[MAN]
Far longer than forever
[WOMAN]
Far longer than forever
[MAN]
Like no love ever known
[BOTH]
And with your love
I'll never
Be alone
[WOMAN]
If I could break the spell
I'd run to him today
And somehow
I know he's on his way to me
Derek, you and I were
Meant to be
Far longer than forever
[MAN]
Forever I'll hold you
In my heart
It's almost like
You're here with me
Although we're far apart
Far longer than forever
[WOMAN]
Far longer than forever
[MAN]
Like no love ever known
[BOTH]
And with your love
I'll never
Be alone
[MAN]
Far longer than forever
[WOMAN]
Much stronger than forever
[MAN]
And with your love
[BOTH]
I'll never
Be alone
Far longer than
Forever
Swan Princess, The : Far Longer Than Forever (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3