02x03 - Into the Woods/Krumm Gets the Dreaded Nolox

[bunniefuu]

( Clock chiming, thunderclap )

( Creaking )

( Owl hooting )

( Shrieking )

( Crying )

( Gasps )

( Screaming )

Ickis will be snorched!

( Needle scratching record )

( Chuckles )

( Siren wailing )

( Man laughing )

Seriously, folks

I'm staying in a cheap hotel.

My room is so small,
the mice are hunchbacked.

( Guffaws )

( Gasps )

( Man coughs )

Hello, hello?

( Blowing )

Is this an audience
or an oil painting?

A guy told me he hadn't
had a bite in days.

So I bit him.

Ai-yo!

( Man coughing )

You stink!

( Plays jaunty tune )

( Gurgling )

( Screams )

( Gasp )

Excellent!

An excellent group scare.

Now, continuing our discussion
on scaring groups of humans.

Who remembers
why humans travel in groups?

Oh, oh!

They're sticky.

Mmm, no.

They're lonely?

No, sloolup.

If any of you so-called students
bothered to

Read your monster manual

You would know
that humans travel in groups

Because they feel
there is safety in numbers.

The more humans, the less scared
they think they are.

Now, who hasn't shown us
his group scare yet?

What monster is left?

Why, I believe it's...

Ickis.

( Shrieking shrilly )

( Gulps )

Boo.

( All start crying )

Good job, ickis.

You must have spent weeks
planning that one.

( Shouting ):
that was pathetic!

I wonder what your father

The great
and terrifying slickis

Would think if he saw
that anemic group scare?

You've got until tomorrow
to do a real group scare

Or you... Will... Be...

Expelled!

( Gulps )

Don't try to get
your friends to help or...

( Growling )

( Hiccups )

( Growling )

What am I worried about?

I could do a group scare
all by myself.

( Shrieks )

No, I can't!

Who am I kidding?

I know-- that human who saved me
from simon the monster hunter.

Bradley! Bradley, yes, yes!

He knows about humans.

He's been one for years...
Poor guy.

Wait, wait, wait.

What does the monster manual
say?

Should monsters ask
humans for help?

"Never."

"Never."

Hmm, "never."

"Never."

"Never, never, never, ever, ever

( Faster ):
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever..."

( Gasps for breath )

"Ask humans for help
or all monsters

Are doomed"?!

( Wails )

Get a grip, hmm?

Get expelled.

The end of all monsters.

Get expelled.

The end of all monsters.

Bradley it is.

Man:
here you go, son.

Flashlight, canteen

Bug spray, dental floss,
beef jerky, and...

Plenty of zinc oxide.

Dad, everyone's
going to pick on me

On this camping trip.

Oh, son, I was picked on
when I went to camp.

So was your
grandfather.

In fact, you come
from a long line

Of picked-on campers.

( Screaming )

Good-- just like
I used to scream.

You'll do our family proud.

Ickis?

Bradley?

Ickis, what are you doing here?

Just in the neighborhood
checking out the garbage.

Can't a monster just drop by?

Listen, ickis,
I'm busy right now.

I got to go on
a stupid camping trip.

What's a stupid camping trip?

It's sleeping
on rocks

With ten other guys,
and bugs crawling all over you.

And it's dark and scary.

Mm, sounds great.

Wait. Ten other guys?

Yeah, and they all pick on me.

Bradley, I'm going to go
stupid camping with you

And then I'm going to scare
the shorts off those other guys.

How?

Good question.

Well, I will scare them

By a very scary method, indeed.

Hey! What if
you scare them

And then I scare you,
then... Those guys

Wouldn't think I'm a wimp.

You scare me?

( Laughs )

Don't make me laugh.

You hide in the woods

And then I'll give you
the signal

You'll scare them

I'll chase you away

And those guys
will think I'm a hero.

That could work.

What's the signal?

The signal is when

I do this.

And, and say

"The little monster with the
bunny rabbit ears appeared."

Wait, wait.

How about you say, um

"The big hairy monster
with the huge pointy fangs

( Full of menace ):
leaped onto his
unsuspecting prey!"?

That could work.

Ow!

Kids ( singing ):
* jars of mace on the wall

* Jars of mace...

Ow! Quit it!

( Spitting )

Ow, quit it!

( Spitting )

Ow, quit it!

* ... Jars of mace

( Squeaking )

( Grunting )

Wait!

( Owls hooting )

The toenail fungus root,
the hideous car exhaust root

The moldy cheese root

The screaming wombat root...

Quit it!

And the hideous and painful
mongolian death root

Discovered in by
dr. Hans christian mendelssohn

Later known as stumpy.

Help me!

Yes, "help me!" Is exactly

What dr. Stumpy screamed

When his feet were skewered
by the thorny spines.

But no one heard
his feeble cries.

Well, kids, it's time for you
busy campers to hit the old hay.

( Grunting )

Look what a fine example
bradley is setting

Already in his sleeping bag.

( Wolf howling )

( Snoring )

( Snorting )

Hello?

Bradley?

Mom?

( Gasps )

( Grunting )

( Growling )

( Shrieks )

...and some say the man
with the hook hand

Is still alive.

I say... They're right!

That wasn't scary at all.

You were scared.

'Cause your mommy
wasn't here to hold your hand.

Well, if you get me out of here

I'll tell you
a really scary story.

That is, if you think
you can handle it.

One night, on a night
much like this one...

( Whining ):
go away!

Go find a human to eat.

( Whines )

The boy ran and ran

But there was no escape...

Everywhere he looked

The creature was
right behind him, until...

The big hairy monster
with the huge pointy fangs

Leaped onto to his
unsuspecting prey!

( Boys panting in fear )

And once more...

( Yelling ):
the big hairy monster

With the huge pointy fangs

Leaped onto his
unsuspecting prey!

Then, what?
Then what, what happened?

And then, uh,
the boy ran some more.

And the creature was...
Really mad, oh boy.

( Growling )

( Squeals gleefully )

Here you go, roy.

( Chomping )

( Gasps ):
oh, that's the signal!

( Screaming )

Tiny, what is that?

I don't know.

But wouldn't it look great

Stuffed and mounted in my den?

Get him!

And then the creature got,
really, really, really mad

Even madder than before.

Hey, I'm getting really,
really, really bored.

( Screaming shrilly )

( Screams ):
the big hairy monster!

( All screaming )

Mommy!

Do not fear the hideous creature

Begone, foul monster!

Hey, kid,
have you seen

Any strange-looking
creatures around here?

Small, purplish, big ears,
about this high?

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Nope.

Aw, darn, I wanted me

A new hood ornament.

Ickis?

You can come out now.

You were great.

I almost believed

You were
a scary monster.

Thanks... I think.

Where were you?

You kept me
waiting forever.

Well, I thought I saw you.

( Bear growling )

( Stammering )

( Screams )

( Screams )

( Snarling )

Go away,
we're not afraid of you.

We're not?

( Growling )

Hey, hey!

Why don't you pick on
somebody your own size...

Like me?

( Roaring )

( Whimpering )

Scoutmaster:
what's all the hoo-ha?

Ickis, you've got to go.

Ah, okay, thanks!

Thank you.

Ow! You're catching on.

What's going on here, bradley?

I scared a bear away... Sir.

See? He tore my shirt.

Oh, sure you did, son.

Why, if there was a bear

There would certainly be tracks.

And I don't see any...

( Gasps )

Bear tracks!

Bradley:
and then I got the huge monster
in a headlock

And pulled him
to the ground.

We wrestled for hours
until he finally gave up

And ran off into the woods,
yelping like a scared puppy

Never to bother humans again.

That was no monster,
it was a bear.

Tell it again.

All:
again.

Come on, guys.

Ten times is enough.

All:
please.

Okay.

( Screaming )

Much better, ickis.

Now you're catching on!

I guess I'll be enjoying
your company in class

For a little while longer.

Thank you.

Now can I have my friends back?

( Growls )

Ickis, show your scare again.

Oh, come on!

Ten times is enough.

All:
please.

All right, if you insist.

Your penthouse suite

Monsieur fromage.

( Sniffing )

( With french accent ):
you call this the penthouse?

I cannot stay here.

This smells more like the...

Like the...

The locker room.

Krumm:
hey, ickis, what's the holdup?

( Grunting and squeaking )

Hide!

( Gasping )

( Coughing )

Mm, mm, mm,
this place is so filthy.

I would not be surprised

To see the big rat
running across the floor.

( Panting )

( Screaming )

( Sucking in air )

Ooh, come on, fill your lungs

With the best pollution
humans can produce.

Oh, come on, krumm,
it is wonderful.

( Grunting )

( Screaming )

Oblina:
come on, krumm.

You have to get
that flowery, stinky stuff

Out of your system.

Who knows what
it will do to you?

( Coughing )

I don't care.

I'd rather take a bath
than get out on that ledge.

( Coughing )

( Hiccuping )

Krumm, whatever
are you doing?

( Panting ):
I'm running in a circle.

Uh, we, we can see that, krumm.

Why are you
running in a circle?

Oh. To stop these-- ( hiccups )

To stop these-- ( hiccups )

To stop these-- ( hiccups )

To stop these hiccoughs.

My dad used to run around
in a circle to get rid of them.

Maybe that was to get rid
of bad sardine fever.

( Hiccups )

( Hiccuping )

Oh, krummy.

My mother
got rid of hiccoughs

In a simple, gentle

Old-fashioned way.

( Grunting )

( Shrieking )

( Hiccups )

No, no, no.

Watch and learn.

Old grandpa grickis
taught me this one.

( Chuckling )

( Hiccuping )

Stop.

That is not working.

I know what to do.

Amateurs!

You are not
pulling hard enough.

Here.

( All grunting )

Hey, that was fun.

( Hiccups )

Oh... This is
not helping, ickis.

We have to work together

To cure krumm.

How?

( Hiccups )

The cow says "moo."

The duck says "quack."

The politician says
"I don't recall."

( Hiccups )

( Hiccuping )

( Groaning )

Whoa!

( Moaning )

( Trying to hiccup )

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Victory! Victory! Yes!

Oh, yes!

Thank you, thank you.

Oh, finally we'll be able
to get some sleep around here.

Ah, good night.

Sleep tight.

Hope the bedbugs bite.

Thanks for helping me.

I feel a lot better now.

( Hiccups )

Oh, skank it.

( Hiccuping repeatedly )

Oh, I cannot
take this anymore.

Neither can i.

But what are we going...

( Shrieking )

You are not
listening to me!

I need my ugly sleep.

Look at me!

My lips are sagging.

Oblina, I am sure
you'll get better soon.

I am going back to bed.

( Krumm hiccuping )

On the other hand...

Hmm, hiccoughing,
you say?

How long has he
been doing this?

Oh, a couple of days.

And nights.

Mmm... Ah, here it is.

This should tell you

What you want to know.

Ooh, it's an old one.

But it's a classic.

Male narrator:
the hiccough menace.

This is spivo

A monster, just like you.

Except for one thing.

( Hiccuping )

You see,
spivo has the hiccoughs.

There are many
kinds of hiccoughs.

Most last only a few minutes.

Others linger for days, months

Even years.

This monster
has bouncing hiccoughs.

They'll last three to four hours

Accompanied
by a delightful body odor.

This one has gillespie-itis.

Note the expanding stomach.

He'll be over this
in a day or so.

This poor monster, however

Suffers from
the worst hiccough of all:

( Hiccuping )

The dreaded nolox.

The dreaded nolox is contracted

By prolonged
exposure to perfumes

And air fresheners
used by humans

And can only be driven
out of the monster's system

By a powerful scare.

This must be done

Or the monster
could nolox forever.

Poor krumm.

Poor krumm?

Poor us!

We got to scare him.

But how?

( Snoring )

( Hiccuping )

( Hiccuping )

Hey, krumm,
time for breakfast.

( Screaming )

Well? Well?

( Hiccuping )

( Crying )

Mmm...

( Yelling )

( Hiccuping )

( Typewriter ringing )

( Shrieking )

Hi, oblina.

( Hiccuping )

( Sighing )

( Hiccuping )

( Hiccuping )

Sorry.

No problem.

Krumm:
sorry.

No problem!

So you want to go
play in the sewer?

No, thanks.

Maybe later?

Mm, okay.

( Hiccuping )

See you.

( Screaming )

We have got to do something!

I cannot take this anymore.

We could take him
out in the woods

And leave him there.

He'll never find his way back.

No one will suspect us.

He must be stopped.

We will seal his mouth
by any means necessary.

You get the wire,
I will get the cement.

I know, I know.

We'll blow him up.

( expl*si*n )

Snap out of it!

All right, let's be cool,
rational, levelheaded.

( Screaming )

( Screaming )

( Panting )

Forget being rational!

Forget it!

We have got
to think, think, think.

What else is krumm afraid of?

Okay.

Getting snorched,
running out of food

Flowers in the springtime.

Uh, been there,
done that, tried it.

Wait.

What?

( Sniffing )

Come on, where are we?

Why is the air so thin?

Is it time to show him, ickis?

It's time.

So what?

I've seen that
big white ball before.

I don't...

( Screaming )

Hey, I'm not noloxing.

( Hiccuping )

( Grunting in frustration )

( Screaming )

( Ickis screaming )

( Screaming )

( Screaming )

Although y'all might notice

A slight decline in sales
on the bar graph

Once we implement my...

( All shriek )

Huh?

( Screaming )

( Grunting )

Those pigeons
get fatter every year.

Help me! Help me!

You missed.

I told you

The sales would be
down for this year.

There is no cause
for alarm.

( Screaming )

Oh!

( Shrieking )

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

( Screaming )

Huh?

( Yelling )

Ah, here's your eye, krumm.

Thanks, buddy.

The other one
was getting lonely.

Thanks for saving me, too.

Wait.

( Coughing )

I'm cured.

I don't have
the dreaded nolox anymore.

( Laughing )

Now, I can
finally get some sleep.

Now we can
finally get some sleep.

Oops. ( Sneezing )

Uh-oh.

( Sneezing )

( Hiccupping, things crashing )

Krumm:
sorry.

Ickis:
no problem.