02x13 - The Five Faces of Ickis/Bigfoot, Don't Fail Me Now

[bunniefuu]

( Clock chiming, thunderclap )

( Creaking )

( Owl hooting )

( Shrieking )

( Crying )

( Gasps )

( Screaming )

This'll scare you silly!

( Needle scratching record )

( Chuckles )

( Crowd clapping and chanting ):
ickis, ickis, ickis, ickis!

( Squeaking )

( Crowd chattering )

Shh! Shh!

Shh!

Ooh!

( Slurping )

You really got all
of that one, ickis.

All righty, everyone.

Practice is over.

Come on,
little miss stricty.

Let me have one
more hit, please.

I'm really hot today.

But, icky, it is
almost time for class.

One more before class.

Just one more, please,
oh-please-oh-please.

Sorry, ickis, that was
our last toe-mah-to.

Toe-may-to.

Toe-mah-to.

( Whimpering )

There is nothing left to hit.

What about krumm's eye?

We can use krumm's eye!

You'll let us use it,
won't you?

Um, uh,
I don't know,
uh, well...

Uh, well, maybe, um, um...

( Belching )

Time for class!

( Whimpering )

Whew. Saved by the belch.

Don't call on me,
don't call on me.

Ickis!

He called on me.

Viewfinder, please.

He called on me,
he called on me.

Now!

( Terrified panting )

Ow!

Correct me if I'm wrong, ickis.

But am I to take this to mean
you have no scares today?

( Gulps )

Why not?!
I, um...

I was playing sewer ball.

That's what
I was doing, really--

Getting ready for the big game!

( Giggling )

I see. What do you
think your father

The great slickis

This academy's most
esteemed graduate

Would say if he knew you
were putting the big game

Before your schoolwork?

Well, um, I think he'd say

It's important
to win the big game.

A lot of academy pride
on the line, sir.

Rah, rah, rah,
sis-boom-bah and all.

Wrong!

Schoolwork comes
before sewer ball.

Ickis, you'd better
have five scares

For me tomorrow morning

Or there will be no
big game for you.

( Squeals )

Oh, what I'd give not to
have to do those five scares.

Hey, grumps, you look
down in the dumps.

Been taking some lumps
from the cat in the pumps?

( Laughs nervously )
who are you?

Chill, home-slice.

I'm here to make you,
not break you.

You can't make what I need!

I need five of me tonight

Or I can't play in
the big game tomorrow.

Don't be so sure I
don't have the cure.

Tuft of hair.
( Yelping )

Ear wax.

( Blabbering )

Toe jam.

( Yelling )

Ooh.

If it's five of you you need

You can plant the seed.

It's up to you
to drink the brew.

I don't know about this.

( Echoing ):
five scares! Five scares!

Give me that.

( Gulping )

( Yelping )

( Gagging )

Wow!

Ickis, meet trickis.

Hey, thank you,
thank you very much.

It's great to be here.

I just had this body
completely detailed.

Tickis.

Do you like me?

I want you to like me,
I hope you like me.

Thickis.

, , , .

Switch-- one, two,
three, four, five.

Chickis.

Hey, where does a monster go

To have a good time
in this dinky little sewer?

And gummo.

( Wheezy laughter )

Trickis, tickis,
thickis, chickis...

And gummo?

Don't ask.

These are me?

Out of you they all have come.

These parts equal the sum.

How can I thank you?

I don't have any toenails,
i, I can't pay.

Don't worry yourself
about that today.

Believe me, you'll pay.

You'll pay.

Yesterday was an absolutely
festering day for scaring

And for a rising young
monster named ickis.

It was one for the record books.

But why tell you about it?

Let's take a look.

Here's ickis on a breakaway

Heading straight for
a pair of ice dancers.

He looms-- he scares!

He looms-- he scares!

He looms-- he scares!

Ow!

He looms-- he scares!

( Screaming )

He looms-- he scares!

( Man screaming )

( Class cheering )

Oh, my, there's just no stopping

This bright young talent.

Even the great slickis

Our most esteemed graduate

Never produced a five-scare
outburst like this one.

Gromble, back to you.

Oh, splendid work, ickis.

You see what you can do
when you apply yourself?

Let that be a lesson to
the rest of you snot sailors!

As for the big game, ickis...

Go get 'em!

( Class cheering )

A great job, guys.

I couldn't have done it
better myself.

Have some extra sludge.

Oblina:
ickis.

What are you doing?

( Laughing )

I was, I was just
talking to myself.

Come on, we're going
to be late for the big game.

( All grumbling and growling )

( Snarling )

Pooey! He calls this garbage?

After all we did for him...

I'm getting myself
some real sludge.

Who's with me?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

( Laughing )

Announcer:
as I look around this dark,
dank, disgusting facility

I can't help thinking

What a beautiful day
for sewer ball.

Hitting off for the home team
in the bottom of the first

Is academy team captain oblina.

( Crowd cheering )

Come on, oblina.

Show 'em what you can do.

Oh, there's a lucky fan.

( Gasping )

( Slurping )

Come on, sloolup.

Hey, hey, hum that seed.

Come on, baby, come on.

( Gasping )

( Panting )

( Cheering )

( Snickering wildly )

Announcer:
bottom of the ninth.

Two outs, bases loaded.

The academy down by three.

Full count on ickis

Who can end it all here

With one swing of the pipe.

Hey! What kind of a weirdo

Lives in a place like this?

Dropping in
for a snorching, ickis?

What happened?

Did you blow the big game?

Oh, great, stereo freaks.

( Growling )

Freaks?

You should know by now

That insults don't make it
any easier on you.

Oh, yeah, I get it.

I'm supposed to be scared.

Yeah, right, real scary.

An overgrown bee
and a fat monster in a muumuu.

( Growling )

Hey, boss, what's
with your friend?

What is he, stuck on phonics?

( Growling )

Both:
take him downtown, ickis.

( Whimpering )

I can't watch.

Announcer:
here's the payoff pitch.

There's a long drive
to deep center sewer.

It's gone! Home run!

The academy wins!
The academy wins!

( Laughing )

All right! We did it!

All right!

Yes! We did it!

I don't want
to go yet, dad.

I want to re-live
this moment forever.

That's understandable.

I'm very proud of you.

But there comes a time
when you have to move on

And think
about other things.

Oh...

Hey, do you like me?

Of course I do, ickis.

Wow, someone's going
to get into trouble for this.

No, but I mean,
do you really like me?

I mean, really? Do you? Do you?

You're my best friend.

You like me.

You're absolutely sure
you like me?

Ickis, stop
bothering me.

I like you.

He likes me.

He really likes me.

Hmm...

Chickis:
you are so repulsive.

( Giggling nervously )

Ickis?

Mmm, those lips, those eyes.

Those... Well, those lips.

You are a stick with lips

And I am infatuated with you.

( Smooching noise )

Mmm, cold lips.

( Humming )

Uh-oh.

Trickis!

Tickis?

Thickis!

Chickis!

Gummo.

You're uptight.

Things all right?

No!

Everybody is mad at me.

The gromble, snorch, zimbo

Even my best friends,
krumm and oblina.

You got me into big trouble,
buster.

Now, that's not nice.

Sure I did the splice,
but you rolled the dice.

So you pay
the price, home slice.

Well, what am I going to do

With those five other mes
running around?

Chickis tried to kiss oblina.

I am never going to be able
to live that down.

Exactly!

Gromble?

Yes. In a rather
inspired performance

If I say so myself.

But why did you let me
go through with this?

Ickis, these little lessons
are so much easier to learn

When you learn them
for yourself.

And besides,
I like to see you sweat.

Well, let's get
those nasty clones out here.

One ickis is enough for me.

( Whistling )

All right,
back in the eggs.

Trickis:
it's too cramped in there.

Chickis:
we were having so much fun.

Tickis:
you don't like me?

( Snickering )

Gummo...

( Gasping )

What's going to happen to them?

Why, ickis, you're going
to eat them, of course.

Don't worry, ickis, I make a
delightful monster egg quiche.

( Gulping )

Well...

( Laughing )

I guess it's not so bad.

My dear ickis

That's just the beginning.

( Crying )

That's the spirit, ickis,
keep it up.

At this rate, you'll be finished

In less than a month.

( Evil laughter )

( Whimpering
laughter )

( Grunts )

Ahh!

He's around here somewhere.

( Growl )

I've got a sixth sense
about these things.

Don't bother me,
I'm waiting for...

Bigfoot!

( Roaring )
( screaming )

( Screaming )

( Beeping )

I got it!

♪ I got it!

This is exposia vertov.

Good evening and welcome to
dirty laundry.

Remember simon
the monster hunter?

He claimed to have once
captured a monster

And even believes
a monster lived in his brain.

Now here is his latest find:
bigfoot.

( Beeping )

Has the man who cried monster

Finally found one?

Is this really bigfoot?

I don't think so.

Laugh at me, will you?

I'll catch bigfoot
and I'll show you all!

( Class jeering )

Oh, what a fool!

Simon actually believes
in bigfoot!

This is no joke,
oblina.

That is bigfoot!

And he's a real monster.

His name is elban.

His refusal to obey my teachings

Always put him
in dangerous situations.

( Roars )

( Screaming )

I had no choice
but to kick elban out.

I'm sick of your
rules, gromble.

I want to do my
scares, my way.

That's it!

I'm tired of your attitude.

You're a danger to yourself
and all other monsters.

You're through
at this academy!

Gather up your pus
and get out.

( Growling )

Yeah, but at least

He didn't have to listen
to the gromble lecture.

( All laugh )

Well, ickis

Since you're so obviously
fascinated by elban

You and your friends can help me
warn him of the danger he's in.

It's time to go on
a little expedition.

And remember, monsters,
stay alert.

The wilderness is not
as safe and filthy

As the dump.

( Sniffing )

Elban was here!

I never forget a stench.

He went that way. Let's go!

( Gasps )

( Yelps )

Gromble:
shh! Simon.

We must move on.

Ah, he's a clever one.

He tripped the wire.

But he's not clever enough
for...

Eek!

...me.

( Gasping for air )

( Hacking )

Oh.

We have been climbing
for hours.

My blisters could feed
a monster family of four.

Here, look.

( Throbbing )

All right, you've
made your point.

We'll camp here for the night.

( Sighing in exhaustion )

( Sniffing )

( Snoring )

( Owl hooting )

( Snoring )

( Grumbling )

Hello, who's...?

( Muffled cries )

( Hooting )

( Others keep snoring )

( Birds chirping )

( Yawns )

( Ickis gasps )

Where's the gromble?

His trash bag is empty!

( All gasp )

Uh-oh.

All:
elban!

( Hooting )

Elban?

Elban! Let me go
this instant!

What is the meaning of this?

Oh, you'll find out,
grubworm.

I've got big plans for you.

( Laughs malevolently )

( Sniffing )

( Grunts )

( Sniffing )

Ahh!

( Smacking )

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And just a few hours old, too.

I'm close.

( Chuckles )

Very, very close.

( Laughs )

I'll show them
simon the monster hunter

Is nobody's fool!

( Laughing )

( Grunts )

Ahh.

These work... Good.

( Gulping noisily )

( Grunts ):
mmm.

( Gasping )

( Chomping )

( Laughing )

Elban, listen to me.

There's a monster hunter
named simon after you.

You're in great danger.

Still the same old tune,
eh, grombleloid?

( Laughs )

"Be careful, look out
for the big bad humans."

Ooh! I'm so scared.

You haven't changed--
no discipline whatsoever!

I can remember it so well
when you were just...

( sh**ting )

( Roars )

( Laughs malevolently )

( Low rumbling )

( Gasps )

That wasn't my fault!

You haven't learned, have you?

If you're so smart

How come
you're in the cage

And I'm not?!

Oblina:
do you know
where we are going?

Of course I know
where we're going.

We are going...

This way.

Wow! A neat trail of garbage
leading to a clearing.

Mmm.

Wait, krumm!

( Gasps )

How many more
of these stupid traps

Do we have to put up with?!

( Yelling ):
come on, simon.

Come on out and fight...

Right here

Right now!

( Screams )

( Gasps )

You know,
on the other hand

You do have to admire
the man's persistence.

( Blubbering )

( Wolf whistles )

( Blubbering )

( Panting )

Where do you think you're going?

Ooh, grombella

I'm going to find a friend
of yours--

Simon the monster hunter.

He'll make a great cell mate
for you.

You can spend the rest
of your lives together!

( Laughs malevolently )

Are you mad?

This is even dumber

Than the lame-brained scares

You attempted at the academy!

Quiet! I've had enough of you!

Class, dismissed!

( Hooting )

We're lost!

We're going to
be here forever!

If I'd have known that,
I'd have brought snacks.

Wait! Look! It's elban.

( Gasping )

Aha!

Now I've got you.

Simon says, be unconscious.

Oh-oh.

( Begins roaring )

( Coughing )

( Choking )

( Snoring )

♪ Finally
my destiny is fulfilled! ♪

♪ The whole world
will revere the name... ♪

( Dramatically ):
simon... The monster hunter.

( Laughs
triumphantly )

Quickly!
Follow elban's hooty-bird.

Maybe it will lead us
to the gromble.

"Hooty-bird"?

That thingy!

Oh.

( Grunting )

( Straining )

( Sighs )

Well, I must admit that
I am mildly pleased to see you.

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

( Hooting )

Look, the... Hooty-bird--

It's trying
to tell us something!

The what?

The hooty-bird.

Yes, quickly,
follow that hooty-bird!

Excuse me,
what's going on here?

Where's this biggest discovery
of the century?

( Wheels squeaking and rolling )

Oh, no. It's simon.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the media conspiracy

I have something to show you now

Something you've waited
your whole careers to see:

Bigfoot!

( Crowd gasps )

Do you mean to say

That the actual bigfoot
is underneath that tarp?

Let me see, let me see!

Move out of there.
Let me see!

Uh-uh-uh-uh!

First, I have
a little speech to make.

( Crowd groans )

To those of you who have

Mocked me over the years

This is my moment of glory...

My crowning victory...

My chance to say to you...

A simple...

( Blows raspberry )

But I digress.

Shh!

( Grunting )

Then, when I turned eight...

( Groaning )

...i made my first
monster sighting.

It was under my bed.

Oh, sure, my mother said

There was nothing there.

But I knew she was lying

Just like she lied about
professional wrestling!

They're both real!

Come on,
show us bigfoot!

Yeah, show us bigfoot!

Show us bigfoot!

( Crowd continues clamoring )

( Gasps )

All right.

All right.

Prepare to see the most awesome,
the most ferocious

The most hideous monster ever!

Behold, bigfoot!

( Chuckling )

( Gulps )

Woman:
I can't believe it!

( Cries of disgust )

( Breathless ):
wait! Wait.

I had bigfoot in this cage!

I-i swear I did!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

He was here.

He was here!

Yeah, right--
and the president

Lives in my purse.

Look, I don't know

What you've done
with bigfoot

But I'll find him.

Oh, yes, I will.

I will prove
that monsters exist

And that I am
the greatest genius

The world
has ever known!

( Gulps )

And now, elban

For creating
the legend of bigfoot

And scaring
generations of humans

I present elban

With this honorary
doctorate of monstrology!

( Cheering and screeching )

Right now, I consider myself

The luckiest monster
on the face of the dump!

( Sniffling )

( Belches )

( Screams, gags )

Oh, no.

Not him, too.

You are a stick with lips
and I am infatuated with you.