02x06 - The Mighty Knot-Head/Pond Scum

[bunniefuu]

[ Lively dance music playing]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers

♪ Beavers.

[ Birds singing]

[ Tapping]

[ Creaking]

Knotholes?

Knotholes...?

Where are you?

Mmm, there's a knot-head.

Eh?

Mmm...

[ Chuckling merrily]

Knothole!

Eeee!

Hey-hey, let me see.

Norbert: that, my brother, is a fine-grain

Center-cut, four-star, grade-a knothole

Fit for a... King!

Daggett: and that, my brother, is raccoon territory.

"Beavers prohibited. No beavers.

"Beaver-free zone.

"Absolutely, totally no beavers allowed"

"If you're a beaver, read fine print below:

"Don't even think of coming here

"Especially you boy beavers.

Signed, the girl raccoons."

Girls! Ugh!

My daring, dynamic, daggettastic brother...

Heh?

Taste the flaky bark...

[ Sighs wistfully]

Those light, spongy splinters...

The mouthwatering, marbled rings.

[ Laughs]

[ Slobbers]

Yeah, you're right.

[ Bird warbling]

We have gathered here...

[ Drums b*ating]

To worship the most mighty knothole.

All chanting: knothole.

Knothole...

Knothole...

It is thus prophesied

That the mighty knot-head, master of the knothole

Shall burst forth from this tree

And lead us with his mighty smartness...

[ Cracking knuckles]

...his mighty mightiness...

[ Creaking]

And most importantly...

That fourth thing.

[ Crash]

[ Gasping]

[ Coughing]

Hoo! Heh?

[ Yelling, whooping]

[ Daggett shrieks]

Dag?

Raccoons. My brother.

It looked bad.

A long, dangerous journey.

We set out to-- I arrived.

[ Bird warbling]

[ Gasps]

[ Grunting]

[ Gasps]

Raccoons chanting: knothole...

Knothole...

Knothole...

Knothole...

Knothole...

Boy beaver intruder

Thou hath intruded

Where thou shouldst not intrude.

Now face the mighty justice of...

The mighty knot-head!

Knothole.

[ Exclaiming]

[ Shrieking]

[ Thud]

Uh, dag?!

Yeah, baby?

Oh...

Knothole...

Hey, norbie, come on up.

I'm the mighty knot-head guy.

It's some raccoon prophecy legend thing-- whatever.

[ Drums b*ating]

Dag, this is fantabulous!

They gaveyou the knothole!

Now we can just grab it and scram!

Hey, hey, hey, hey-- hands off, nut noggin!

Ooh! Knot nuggin.

Huh?

Never mind.

Why?

I don't know. Ask her.

Ask who?

That, like, princess

Lady thingie there.

Eee...

[ Giggling]

Uh, well, you know

I-i don't think she realizes just how sweet

And tasty a knothole is.

[ Chuckling]

[ Slobbering]

Yummy...

No, you're not going to use

That old make-dag-hungry thing on me, brother.

My people need me.

Chief raccoon: as prophesied

The mighty knot-head shall now demonstrate

His mighty smartness.

sh**t.

O most majestic one

What is the meaning of life?

Eeh...!

Eeh...!

Of course!

[ Crowd cheers]

Chief raccoon: now, to proveth his mighty braveness

The mighty knot-head shall walk across

This mighty, hot, fiery bed of coals.

[ All gasping]

Stand back, my loyal sub...

Uh, sub-ubba... Sandwiches!

And be impress-ed.

Knothole...

Knothole...

[ Grunts]

Eee!

[ Creaking]

Oof!

Norbert: ooh, ah, ooh...

[ Raccoons exclaiming]

Ah, your lowly dance of worshipness

Amuses the mighty one.

Everybody now.

[ Daggett squealing musically...]

Chief raccoon: proving his mighty mightiness

The mighty...

Let me at the bloated beast!

[ Music stops]

[ Audience murmuring]

[ Silence]

Eh... Oh, uh, sorry.

[ Knothole creaking]

[ Chuckles]

Ah, proving his mighty mightiness

The mighty knot-head shall now

Battle a most turgid possum

Atop our most sacred garbage heap.

N-now?

Now.

Let me at the bloated beast!

[ All clamoring]

Knothole...

Knothole...

Knothole...

Knothole...

Ah, ooh, ah!

Ee, ooh, ooh!

[ Crunch]

[ Shrieks]

No fair.

That possum's playing possum!

Eeh?

[ Sniffing]

Okay, dag, I got you now.

That knothole's going down!

Okay, I'm ready for you this time.

Oof!

[ Squealing]

[ Thud]

[ All clamoring]

[ Whimpering]

Stupid possum!

[ All cheering]

[ Raccoons squealing like daggett]

Ah, my little brother guy

Here to pay homage to my mightiness. Ha-ha!

Going back to the dam.

Bye-bye.

Maybe someday...

I'm sorry, what?

Bye-bye.

Maybe someday you'll lose

That kindling on your noggin

And realize you're a plain, old beaver-- like me.

Ha-ha! That's mighty, plain, old beaver like you.

Whatever!

It's never coming off my head!

My mighty head, I mean. Ever!

Mighty knot-head?

It's time to prove the fourth, most important thing

I didn't tell you about before.

Lay it on me, baby!

[ Giggles]

Now, you must show your mighty cutesy-wutesiness

And take thee, me...

You?

...as your girlfriend.

Girl... [ Gurgling]

Ew.

You're the mighty knot guy now.

I've had enough of this knothole nonsense.

Then take it.

You take it.

[ Arguing back and forth]

[ Gasping]

[ Together]: hedid it!

See that they're both roasted at the spit!

Roasted?

Lightly baked then crisply roasted.

Oh.

[ Both shrieking]

[ All yelling]

[ Panting]

[ Panting]

Oh, norb?

What?

Our dam is back in the other direction.

Oh, yeah.

[ Panting...]

Bring me their teeth on a plate!

[ Shrieking]

[ Screaming]

[ Splat]

Raccoon: there they are!

Get them!

Go, go after them, get those beavers!

[ Raccoons whooping...]

[ Engine humming]

Daggett: that was nuts!

If I'm ever discovered by a primitive tribe

And turned into a king or something

Don't let me do it.

Sure thing, mighty spoothead.

Hail, ha-ha!

You know, and if I ever

Want a knothole that bad again...

Sheesh!

I'll just roast you some fresh jalapenos

On this hot giant roasting spit here.

Both: huh?

Say, where did that come from?!

Chief raccoon: needs more salt.

What's it taste like?

Chicken.

[ Clunk]

Oh, baby.

Bam!

Coming at you, mr. Spootenheimer!

Ah, yeah, bite ball, booger boy!

[ Grunts]

[ Faint splash]

[ Sloshing]

Ew...

Ouchy ba-ba!

Hmm?

[ Yawns]

That shellhead's got our ball.

No problem.

Most people fear the snape-ing turtle

But they're blind as bats.

Really?

I'll sneak up, grab our ball

And shake my tail in its face.

Then I'll tell everybody what I did.

They'll be most impress-ed.

W-w-wait. I want everybody to be

Impress-ed with me.

I'll get the ball.

Okay.

[ Giggling]

This is so cool.

[ Growling]

Gulp!

You can see me perfectly, can't you?

[ Screaming]

[ Snapping]

Norbie, you tricked me!

[ Laughing]

[ Splat]

Oh!

Ee-ew-ski!

[ Laughing]

Oh, man, that was hip.

Wowsey-duper!

Talking pond scum.

Name's l.g. Algae.

You sure set that square up

And knocked him down.

Hard to believe that mondo-square-o

Is your brother.

Well... You know.

Mind if I hang out for awhile?

Uh... I don't know.

Let me put this delicately.

You're pond scum and you stink!

Cut me some slack, jack.

After awhile you won't even notice it.

Don't make me beg for your hipness.

Okay. But just for awhile.

Cool school is in session.

Coo-coo, baby.

[ Vulture shrieks]

Oh, well, looky there.

[ Power saw buzzing]

Soon I'll be enjoying my very own sweat lodge.

Sometimes a rabbit has to pamper himself.

Whoa! Know what I mean, hmm?

Using a power tool

On a substandard structure like this?

Big rabbit's riding for a fall.

Brilliant, mr. Hipster.

Now you're talking kicks.

You mean, make him fall?

He could get hurt.

Okay. Okay!

I'm not saying we knock it down.

Just give it a little shove...

Maybe a kick to shake him up?

Come on.

I guess shaking a big rabbit

Could be kind of fun.

This is very much the opposite of good.

[ Laughing]

Oh, that is really kicky.

Norbie-o, you are my hero.

I feel kind of bad.

Oh, feeling kind of bad is for squares.

We need more kicks.

What are you doing?

Are you trying to mess with my head?

Algae: no way I could mess with your head.

Say, is that a mad bull in that corral?

[ Snorting]

Roll-a-booga, that's convenient.

What's happening?

I'm feeling inclined to do things i...

Wouldn't normally do.

Eee-ooh! Stupid turtle.

Ooh, stupid turtle.

Eee, stupid turtle.

Voice: gee, norb released a mad bull.

[ Crashing]

Voice : sh**t! Norb greased my brake pedal.

[ Tires screeching]

[ Crashing]

Multiple voices: help! Norb is being irresponsible

With molten steel.

Oh, oh, oh...

There.

[ Exploding, hissing]

Norbie thinks he's so smart.

Eh, ooh!

But one of these days, he's going to go too far.

Algae [ laughing]: oh, man.

That was the wildest.

Mr. Hipster, when you get your kicks

You go, go, go!

Let's get some more.

You're not getting me to do any more crazy stuff.

I said you could hang around for awhile

And your "while" is up.

Now get out.

Sorry, daddy-o, I'm having too much fun.

[ Laughing]

[ Smacks]

[ Groans]

[ Smacking]

[ Groaning]

[ Thunder crashes]

[ Gulps]

Norb, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.

Out of my way.

I'm playing with scissors.

I think we should just put it all behind us.

Who cares, you drip?

Past is past.

Shut your yap.

Good. Now that that's settled

Sit down and have some cereal.

[ Crunching]

[ Crunching]

[ Chomping, slobbering]

Norb! You're eating cereal without milk!

Why, why, you're a...

Stinking hoodlum.

[ Laughs meanly]

[ Glass shattering]

You're cramping my style.

Scram!

Scram, el square-issimo.

Ooh!

Pond scum!

Algae: kicks ahoy, mr. Hipster.

Dig the scene.

Let's rip off a log and take a little ride.

Norbie, I realize that pond scum

Has gotten under your skin.

Don't worry, I'll save you.

[ Both grunting, struggling]

I've had enough of you, mayor mcsquare.

[ Groans]

[ Gurgling, spluttering]

Time for some tough love!

[ Motor revving...]

[ Vulture screeches]

[ Laughing meanly]

[ Mooing]

[ Motor racing]

[ Gasps]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Thanks for the big assist on the sweat lodge, stump.

[ All shouting]

Stupid beaver.

Why I ought to...

That beaver's gone bad.

Hey, make way for heck's angel.

Mr. Pond scum, you're going down.

Poor dag...

He doesn't have a prayer.

Norbert! You leave stump alone.

[ Tricycle horn blows]

You want to get tough, get tough with me.

I challenge you to a drag race.

[ Laughing]: drag race!

My toothless grandma drag races.

How about a chicken run?

Yeah... Chicken run?

We race to the edge

Of stupidly high falls.

First one to back off is a chicken.

Gulp!

Are you... [ Clucking]

I'm not a cow.

[ Clucking]

You're on!

Just cut stump loose.

[ Snaps]

You're free, stump.

Free to return home safely.

Oops!

Let's ride.

[ Norbert gunning motor]

Whew! That was close.

Where am i?

You raced over stupidly high falls

On a hot log while under the influence

Of evil pond scum.

Oh.

[ Sloshing]

[ Birds tweeting]

Now we'll deal with you!

Sorry, but I got to split.

[ Laughing meanly]

Eh, what... ?!

[ Screaming]

Whoa! He really split.

I think you mean splat.

[ Laughing]

Oh, boy!

That was nuts!

Glad to have you back.

Glad to be back, dag-a-wag.

And glad we've seen

The last of that pond scum...

And his delinquent shenanigans.

Mm-hmm.

[ Crashing]

[ Creaking]

Both: oh, no!

No!no!

Please, no, not again.

Norbert: no!

Daggett: oh, yeah.

[ Both screaming]

Animals: way to go, stump!