03x01 - My Bunny-Guard/What's Eating You?

[bunniefuu]

Lively dance music playing]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers

♪ Beavers.

[ Birds singing]

[ Yawning, smacking lips]

Yo! Newspaper.

Hey, you stupid duck...

[ Quacking]

Get away from that weenie!

[ Chewing noisily]

[ Slurps]

[ Screams]

Norbert, norbert, wake up!

[ Chattering gibberish]

[ Screams]

[ Grunts]

Look!

Look!

Look!

Someone tried to k*ll our door!

[ Grunts]

Hmm...

"You beavers are going to get it

Signed, someone who wants to get rid of you."

Now see, dag, it's not the door they're after.

Whew! I was worried there for a minute.

You're safe, mr. Door.

It's us they're after!

[ Beavers screaming]

Whoo-hoo!

[ Crash]

[ Groan]

[ Clattering]

[ Whimpers]

[ Screams]

Wait! I got it!

[ Garbled]: what?

We need protection.

[ Garbled]: what?

We need... A bodyguard.

What?

Oof!

N-norbert?

Yeah...

That is quite possibly

The stupidest idea I've ever heard.

Ha! A bodyguard.

Where on this flat, green disk we call the earth

Are we ever, ever

Going to find a bodygay...ga...ge

Goo!

Norbert!

Look!

Yes!

A white-breasted horned swallow.

Huh?

I'll get my camera.

No!

It's a sign, for... A...

Bodyguard. Never mind.

[ Rattling...]

Cool! Big rabbit, bodyguard

At your service.

Ah...

Ah, right mix, right cake.

Just go about your business...

I'm a fly on the wall.

Isn't this great, norby?

Rabbit: get down!

Norbert [ muffled]: what happened?

It's just a drill.

Good thinking, rabbit.

Can't be too safe.

Go back to your daily business.

Rabbit: get down!

What is it now?

I thought I saw something.

Get down!

But why'd you do it this time?

Ah, third time always makes me laugh.

[ Nervous laughter]

That was funny.

Get! Down.

I was just, um...

Testing us?

Yeah, right.

I was testing youse.

Get down!

[ Crash]

Norbert: two words come to mind.

"Big," and... What's the other one?

Oh yeah, "mistake"!

Okay, that should do it.

Yay!

If anything should happen

When I'm not around

This new state-of-the-art

Sado-mas security system will protect you.

Whoa.

You got me?

Yeah, sounds cool.

How does it work?

Well, uh, suppose, um...

I go to the toilet and something happens.

Ew!ew!

You just pull this lever, like this.

Ba-boom!

[ Electronic warbling fades away]

[ Crash]

Sorry, I meant this one.

What is it?

The xp- rocket sled

That will take you to safety.

Wow!

Uh, kind of small, isn't it?

[ Whirring...]

Both: help!

[ Screaming...]

And, when all is safe

Youse are returned to the comfort of your own living room.

[ Exploding]

Wow, love it.

How about youse, norby?

That's it!

I don't know about dag here

But I don't need any more guarding.

So, youse don't want me to be your bodyguard no more?

No!

Youse means you're going to leaves me alones with him!

I am sorry. What?

You means youse leaves me

Alones with him?

That's right.

Cool.

Come on, rabbit, protect me.

Something's not right here.

[ Slurping]

Norbert: hey, guys!

Youse guys stink!

Zing.

[ Both roaring]

[ Snapping]

Oh, rabbit!

[ Laughing]

Even though I can't prove it

These are the guys

Who threatened us.

Protectse me.

[ Giggling] this is sose great.

Hmm...

Fascinating.

[ Yawns]

Rabbit, protect me.

Rabbit, he's attacking me.

Hey, hah!

Well, I feels safes.

How about youse, norb?

Zing.

You may feel safe, dag

But I know exactly who threatened us.

Both: youse do?!

Yes, ise do.

Odsbodikins, even I'm doing it.

With my extensive background in forensic science...

And a little help from a government super computer

I have determined

Without a doubt

That the villain is...

I admit it!

It was me!

[ Sobbing]

[ Sobbing]

Well, let's hear it, who was it?

It was me.

Tell him, norb.

Uh, yes.

That is my conclusion...

I think.[ Rattling]

Spooty government computers.

Sheesh.

And to thinks I used

Youse to kick people's butts.

What'd you do it for, rabbit?

I'm sorry.

[ Sobs]

I just wanted some buddies.

I, i, i, I thought, I thought if I protected youse

Youse, youse want to be, yo, friends.

Yeah, right.

I think I understood.

I feel sorry for you.

What did I say?

You wanted us to be your friends.

Yes!

You don't know

What it's like to be a big bunny.

I got issues.

I'm a freak!

Nobody likes a big bunny.

[ Wailing]

Right. Now get out.

But i... Get down?

No, no excuses.

Out, out, out!

Glads that's over.

[ Rabbit sobbing]

The guys just wanted some friends, it's kind of sad.

Whatever. He'll gets over its.

[ Wailing...]

[ Coyote howls]

[ Rabbit wailing...]

[ More wailing...]

[ Wailing continues...]

Norbert: all right, you big, dumb rabbit

We'll be your friends.

No. No, you're just

You're just saying that 'cause... 'Cause

I've been crying outside your door for three days.

Yeah, so?

No, rabbit

We'll be your friends.

Hey.

But all you had to do was ask.

You didn't have to thr*aten us.

I'm sorry.

All I ever wanted

Was to be soft and, and cuddly.

Oh, boy.

Soft and cuddly like a real bunny.

Yeah, good luck.

Well, if it means

That much to you

Maybe there's something we can do.

Eh.

There, finished.

Oh, hey, hey.

Looks at me, I'm cute as a button!

Uh, yeah.

I'm just glad

This whole thing's over.

[ Roaring...]

[ Snarling...]

Rabbit, protect me.

Whoa, no, I couldn't do that.

I might soil my lily-white fur

Or bend my pink little ears.

Hey, hey, hey, watch the bow.

Come on, guys, I'm sensitive now.

Ooh! Eh! Ow!

[ Punching]

Get down!get down!

[ Both laughing]

You started it!

But you said we needed a...

Aah! Ooh, eeh, aah...

[ Punching continues

Zing!

[ Loud rumbling]

Can you keep your stomach quiet, dag?

I'm concentrating on the spelunking.

I'm hungry!

[ Gurgling, bubbling]

[ Thud]

Whew!

[ Creaking]

[ Clank]

Uh, was that important?

[ Whooshing]

[ Daggett screaming]

I got you, stump, old bestest buddy

Two beavers who would never eat you

Even if trapped in a cave starving

Could ever have.

[ Screaming]

[ Grunts]

Stump's found a way out!

[ Echoing]: a way out...

A way out...

[ Rumbling]

Cave-in!

Come on, dag!

Serpentine, dag!

Serpentine!

[ Panting, howling]

[ Both grunt]

[ Cracking]

[ Rumbling]

Wow, look at the neat, sparkly rocks.

Dag!

We're trapped!

[ Gasping, shrieking]

[ Wildly]: oh, no! Oh, no!

What do we do now, norbie?

We're trap-ped!

Hold on, daganoid.

Stump is a master spelunker.

He'll find us another way out.

Right, stump?

[ Loud rumbling]

[ Grunts]

Shh!

[ Loud rumbling above]

[ Ominous cracking]

[ Stomach gurgles loudly]

Huh?!

[ Rumbling fades away]

[ Gurgling loudly]

[ Loud rumbling]

[ Howls]

[ Watch ticking]

He's unconscious.

[ Gasps]

Come on, grab a root.

We'll have to find a way out on our own.

Carry him? We can't do that!

He'll slow us down and we'll starve!

Look at me, norbie.

I'm wasting away.

I'm nothing but skin and bones.

Get ahold of yourself, man!

We had breakfast minutes ago.

[ Creatures squeaking...]

"As"? As what?

That's "a.s."

It's an homage to jules verne.

Oh.

[ Stomach grumbling]

Whew!

Dag?

Everything is perfectly fine.

Couldn't be any better.

It's so fine, that I say

Let's back down this whole ledge.

Back right down it.

Yes, sir, what do you say?

Okay? Good. Here we go.

[ Norbert panting]

Now that we're down, I'll take the lead.

Right-o!

Oh, big sick-o.

[ Shrieks]

Boy, stump, you're starting to get a wee bit heavy.

Stump?

[ Stammering]: how'd you?

What... Are you...

You were up--

How'd you get--

[ Giggling]

[ Shrieks]

[ Vibrating]

[ Snapping]

Dag! What?

What are you doing?!

Just trying to sneak a little bite

When you weren't looking.

Daggett, it's stump.

He's our friend!well...

And you're eating him!

I never liked him.

Oh-ho-ho-ho!

You're right.

What am I doing?

It's just that I'm so hungry, i...

[ Loud gurgling]

Will you keep your spooty stomach quiet?

It's making me hungry.

That wasn't my stomach.

Well, it wasn't mine.

[ Monstrous growling]

[ Growling...]

[ Louder growling]

[ Blows raspberry]

You're just a stupid little lizard.

Look, norb, it's a stupid, eeny-weeny-teeny-tiny--

[ Howling, yelling]

Deadly!

Vicious...

Hold still.

[ Daggett screaming]

[ Growling]

...beaver-eating little lizard!

[ Wild grunting, growling...]

He's not going anywhere, dagetaranium.

Just ignore him.

Probably just get bored and let go.

Okay? Yeah.

Okay? Half my face will be gone!

Okay? Okay.

[ Growling]

Aha!

You're hungry, too!

So now that we agree

Let's eat stump before he wakes up.

What?!

You're crazy!

Just because I'm hungry doesn't mean I'd eat my friend.

Of course, norbert.

You're right.

Oh, I love hearing that.

It would be foolish for us to eat stump.

Now you got it. Let's go.

Dag, I'm really proud.

You're dealing with this much better than I expected.

Dag, no!

He's mine, I found him.

He's mine!

Put him down, you cannibalistic bonehead.

No!

You just want him for yourself!

Never!

But you can't, he's mine!

Never!

[ Yells]

[ Laughing madly]

Come back here!

[ Daggett yelling while falling]

Daggett!

[ Loud splash]

[ Norbert yelling while falling]

Give him to me!

Fine, here!

It doesn't matter, we're saved!

[ Wheels creak]

[ Daggett grunting]

[ Yelps]

[ Howling fearfully]

What are you doing?

Don't you know?

No!

All mine cars lead to the surface!

[ Loud clunk]

Hmm?

[ Both shrieking]

[ Loud crash]

Uh...

[ Whimpers]

Daggett: "welcome to the earth's core."

Earth's core.

[ Gasps]

Norb!

[ Slow, distorted voice]: sometimes... Gravity stinks.

That's it! That's it, norbie.

Now we have to eat stump!

There's no way around it; it's him or us.

Don't try to stop me, or I'll eat you, too.

I'm not afraid to use these teeth.

Daggett, no!

You can't eat him.

Why not?

'Cause I'm going to eat him.

[ Laughing maniacally]

Both: he's mine! Give him to me!

[ Laughing, grunting]

The dinner bell's ringing, stumpy.

The dinner bell's ringing.

I just have to say, but now he's all mine.

Dag?

Ooh, hot! Hot! Hot!

[ Grunts]

[ Both shrieking]

[ Loud rumbling]

[ Beavers shrieking]

I toldyou all mine cars lead to the surface.

[ Loud crash]

Norbert: stump, you're back!

Oh, I got to tell you, buddy

We were about this close to giving up hope

And having you for lunch.

[ Laughs]

You know, daggie, I hate to admit it

But you finally did something right.

Oh, thanks, norb.

You want a bite?

I'll meet you in the middle.

Can you get this thing off my face?