03x10 - Too Loose Latrine/Pack Your Dags

[bunniefuu]

[ Lively dance music playing]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers

♪ Beavers.

[ Buzzing]

[ Groaning]

[ Moaning]

Pain.

[ Moans]

Agony.

[ Groans]

Hey, I tell ya, how 'bout that bloat?

[ Sloshing]

[ Snoring]

[ Babbling]

Mommy.

[ Cooing]

What...?

Is this...?

Are you...?

[ Giggling]

Mommy.

You said "mommy."

Wait a second: big tummy, the pain--

I'm a beaver.

You're a mongoose.

It all makes sense!

Wait!

I had a baby!

Wake up.

Get up! Look!

Huh?!

A smaller-than-me baby thingy.

What, where, where?

An infant.

Where?

I had a baby.

I'm a mother... A fa-fa... A father.

Wha... What?

And you're an uncle-- uncle norby.

You're uncle norby.

Where?

Unless he's a she

Then that makes you an aunt-- aunt norbert.

[ Stammering]: he's mine!

What are you talking about?

Uncle norby, it happened just the way mom had our sisters.

Man, don't call me that, man.

She was big and puffy and...

And then she wasn't and we had two sisters.

Right.

Joy to the world.

First of all, that is not a beaver baby.

Second, did you ever think the pain and bloating

Had something to do with our trip

To the all-you-can-eat stuffed jalapeño bar

Where you ate how many jalapeños?

Two, maybe three... Hundred.

Nothing unusual.

For an alephant.

Then how do you explain this bundle of joy?

Hmm... Something tells me

It came in through a hole in the dam

Sniffed around looking for something to eat

And then it got tired and cold and scurried up

To get warm in your bunk-- capisce?

Don't question the miracle of life.

Oh, I question it every time I look at you.

Well, then don't look.

Here's another classic moment in weather:

In pacoima on february , , it was sunny.

Wasn't that super?

[ Laughing wildly]: yeah!

Say, norb, I could really use some help with gary.

Gary?

See, I named it after that guy

Who was the first president of the united states

Who I call...

Gary?

Gary, because I can't remember his real name.

Oy.

You are not only an idiot, you are a bad mother.

We're gonna need formula and diapers.

We... Back up-- we?

Shh, keep a calm environment.

You'll need to coach me on my breathing exercises.

In and out.

And you better boil some water.

You can't have too much hot water when a baby gets born-ed.

Daggett?

Yes?

The baby did not get born-ed.

Besides, you wouldn't be praygnant

If you already had the babya.

Don't we look alike?

[ Giggles]

[ Burps]

This isn't your baby!

You're a boy.

Now, move out of the way.

Don't you yell around gary.

Gary.

He's sensitive.

He's an artiste.

This isn't your baby, stupid-for-brains stupid head.

Pshaw.

Boys don't have the babya.

Jealous.

Just wait here.

I have something you and the little one should see.

Okay, but it better be suitable for young children--

No v*olence or strong language in my home, mister.

A nice musical maybe, but I draw the line at cavalry pictures.

Huh?

Norbert: beaver.

Mongoose.

Oh.

Beaver.

Mongoose.

This is a little advanced...

Shouldn't we start with the abcs?

Mongoose!

Beaver eats wood.

That's right, gary.

Mongoose eats snakes.

Good, uncle norby.

So as you can see, that animal you are holding

Is not a beavwa...

Ooh.

[ Cooing]: who's your daddy?

...but a mongoose.

So since he's obviously not even related to you

I'm just gonna... I'm just gonna toss him back in the wild

Where he belongs, okay?

[ Crashing and thrashing]

Isn't he adorable?

[ Moaning]

[ Giggling]

[ Yelling]

Daggett: mmm, picklies and chocolate should be its own flavor.

[ Smacking his lips]

We have to ta... Ta...

Ta...

[ Speaker whining]

Shh, norby, the baby monitor.

Now I can hear everything gary does.

[ Echoing]

First time in my life, I have nothing to say.

[ Speaker whining loudly]

Remergency!

To the changing table.

[ Echoing loudly]

[ Yelling]

[ Echoing]

[ Yelling]

[ Echoing]

[ Yelling]

[ Echoing]

[ Cooing]

That's it, dag.

You've opened up a whole pan box full of...

[ Squirts]

[ Gasps]

My special henna balsam shampoo!

[ Cooing]

Nothing is too good for my gawy-wawy.

Daggett!

Daggett: why is norby poopy yelling at tiwed mommy

When tiwed mommy needs to clean and powder little babykin?

I am not norby poopy!

[ Gary cooing]

And now the powder.

Daggett!

[ Stammering]

[ Splashes]

Come to mommy.

Oh, I almost forgot, mr. Brickhead.

[ Yelps]

I'll never get rid of this thing.

Did uncle and/or aunt norby have a good swimmy time?

What did you call me?

Mommy could use some help from uncle norby.

Go away.

Mommy really needs some metime.

Leave.

I strapped gawy-wawy

Into the stroller

So you could take him out into the woods

Far, far away, where he might get lost and never return

Because he'd be so far from home

He'd never know the way back.

Couldn't you take him

Up that tall, tallest of steep mountain peaks

To see the pretty wild flowers?

[ Giggles evilly]

I could do that.

You could?

Oh, yeah.

Why don't you do that?

Both: okay.

Hard to breathe... No air at the top...

Of tall, tallest, steep... Mountain peak.

[ Panting]: where the baby could get lost and never find his way home.

♪ Because he'd be too far

♪ Far away.

The three unbreakable straps are...

[ Gurgling]

You!

I can't do this!

[ Cooing]

[ Shattering]

[ Giggling]

[ Gasps]

Spoot!

[ Yelling]

Spoot.

Did you say "spoot"?

Spoot.

You said "spoot."

You said it.

Oh!

Wait till daggy-waggy heaws this.

Ooh.

Norbert: open up for another bitey-witey.

[ Cooing]

Daggett: listen to uncle norby.

Open the hangaw, here comes the jet.

[ Imitating airplane zooming]

That's good, uncle norby.

He's a good influence.

[ Giggles]

[ Slurps]

Doesn't little pooky-gawy

Want any more peachy stewed apwicots

In a white twuffle sauce?

[ Cooing]

[ Banging fists]

Aw, how adorable.

[ Rumbling]

[ Screaming]

[ Cooing]

Mommy.

Both: mommy?

Come back!

You haven't even started solids yet.

Guess he wasn't my son after all.

You were right.

Well, that's that.

Our son-- he's gone!

My life is empty.

[ Sobbing]

Get a life.

Feel my pain.

[ Snorting]

He's our baby.

He's a mongoose.

[ Sobbing]

Loser.

[ Daggett grumbling]

[ Growling angrily]

[ Muttering loudly]

[ Peels band-aid, squeals in pain]

[ Yells]

Has someone did something to me?

[ Sighs]

Oh, daggettful one

Looks like a lot of someones

Did a lot of somethings to you.

Yeah, well, they're lucky I don't remember who they are.

[ Frustrated groan]

[ Licks lips]

I got just the thing

For your little old 'membering problem.

Behold... The priorganizer--

Guaranteed to prioritize

And organize every aspect of your life.

Simply open the cool-sounding velcro closure.

[ Velcro rips]

[ Sighs pleasurably]

And you will find all kinds of neato schtuff--

A metric ruler, a calendar, a compass

A picture of a lovely lady

We don't know.

[ Slap]

And coolest of all--

A modren space-age ejecto pen.

[ Excitedly]: oh!

[ Rattling]

[ Engine ignites]

[ Loud pop]

[ Ricocheting]

[ Pen quiets]

[ Jingles]

This is so cool.

Isn't it?

It's... It's great!

Isn't it?

It's...

[ Stammering]

Fanabulous!

Yeah, what you said.

It's, um... How's it work?

Pretend that some transgressing ne'er-do-well

Musses you up

You list that malcontentious violator's name

Here in the priorganizer.

Yeah!

Watch out, bad guys who mess with me

Here comes dag!-- That's me-- with the priorganizer!

Recipya for brotherly prank number :

Mix one doofus brother, a priorganizer

A cup of idle threats, shake well for minutes and voila!

A bruised and boo-boo-ed brother.

This is going to be so great.

That's ten... ... A dozen.

Ooh, the babies are going to love the new hard-body barry.

Hey, you.

Flip flop beaver brother.

What's the - - ?

Huh?... Oh, oh!

Well, I just came by to tell you that from now on

Nobody's getting away with nothing bad they do to me

Because I've got the priorganizer!

[ Velcro rips]

[ Quivers excitedly]

If someone does something bad to me

I write it down in here

So I can remember who to get even with later.

[ Engine ignites]

[ Thunk]

It's got all these cool filing tab thingamabobbies...

[ Barry groaning]

A picture of this pretty girl I don't know

A place for people's names and addresses...

[ Crash]

And phone numbers.

Ooh! A groovy date book with all kinds of... Dates.

Ooh! It has a zippered pen pocket.

Zip, zip, zip-zip-zip.

[ Barry groaning]

[ Crash]

[ Train horn blows]

[ Groans]

[ Crash, horn blows]

[ Rumbling]

[ Thud]

Man: there's a bear on the wing.

There's a bear on the wing!

[ Engine roars]

And a plastic smiley-face thing.

[ Loud roaring, rumbling]

[ Passengers screaming]

Hey, how'd my space-age ejecto pen get over here?

[ Velcro rips]

[ Quivers in pleasure]

What happened?

I don't know, baby.

The last thing I remember was dag

Talking about putting me on some list

And then... Boom.

[ Crash]

We better tell everyone not to cross daggett

Or they'll get on his horrible list.

The harrowing account

Of barry's encounter with dag and his dreaded list

Spread rapidly throughout the forest

And everyone becam-ed muchly a-feared.

[ All talking at once]

[ Daggett humming merrily]

Hey, hey, hey, guys, check this out.

[ All gasp]

[ Teeth chattering]

[ Velcro rips, ripping echoes]

[ All yelp]

[ Clock ticking, alarm rings]

I think my little prankster soufflya

Should be just about doney.

Time to partake of some mashed dag with a little pain gravy.

[ Stampeding in distance]

Oh, dear!

[ Rumbling]

[ All scream]

Norb, you've got to hide us from dag.

He's right behind us

With his list!

Yeah, and I bet he's taken it too far, right?

Stomping around, writing people's names down

Making silly threats.

Norb, they're not silly threats.

Look what he did to barry.

Dag?

You're really afraid of...

Come on, you guys, my brother is a harmless ninny

A goofily doofus who couldn't...

That's right.

You're his brother, norb.

You can help us get off the list.

We'll do anything to get off dag's list.

No, you don't understand.

He's... He's...

Here...

Take this.

Just get me off that list, baby.

But, barry, I couldn't, i...

[ Cash register dings]

I couldn't.

Well, I'll see what I can do.

Okay, people, let's keep the line moving, please.

Place your items in the containya

And I'll see what I can do to get you all off dag's list.

Daggett: let me see, seven inches of people

Or . Centimeters...

Or seven inches... . Centimeters.

[ Chuckles]

Man, this ruler is magical.

I could do this all day.

I better put it away because I don't want to use it all up.

[ Kisses]

[ Velcro rips]

[ Quivers with pleasure]

[ Loud yelp at door]

[ Creaks]

[ Snaps]

Norb, baby, this is all I have left.

It's my favorite toy.

Do you think dag will take me off his list now?

I think dag will be pleased.

So I'm off the list for sure this time?

I'll see what I can do.

But, hey, norb, you don't...

Hey, bar, I'll see what I can do.

[ Velcro rips]

[ Daggett quivers with pleasure]

Quiet, he'll hear us.

What's he doing now?

Looks like he's writing down more names.

Ooh! A solar calculator.

Hello, mr. Two.

Good-bye, mr. Two.

Hello, mr. Two.

Bye, mr. Two.

Hey!

Hey, you stupid trees, get out of my light.

I got it.

I got it, baby.

[ All cheer]

Hey, you stupid tree, give me that back.

Look, dag, all this putting people

On your list and then whuppin' on them--

It's not cool, baby.

[ Stammering]

Whuppin' on them?

I didn't whup on no one, no way, no how, never.

Yeah, you did.

Right after you opened up your priorganizer

And put me on your...

[ Hissing, barry groans]

[ Train horn blows]

[ Crash]

[ Barry whistling through air]

[ Thud]

Man: there's a bear on the wing.

There's a bear on the wing!

[ Crashing]

Pilot: thank you for flying dairy airlines.

Dag didn't b*at up barry.

[ Passengers screaming]

And if he didn't do anything to barry

And he hasn't been put on his list

Then that means...

Norbert, my man, you done flimflammed

And geegawed the wrong earth sign, baby.

[ Chuckles nervously]

Hey, I'm sure that we...

Look over there!

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

[ Punching, kicking, screaming]

Don't you worry, norby.

I'm going to write this all down in my priorganizer

Right next to the picture of the pretty girl

So you know who's mussing you up later.

[ Barry groans, whistles through air, train horn blows]

[ Thud]

Man: there's a bear on the wing.

There's a bear on the wing!

Oh, no! Give me back my pen, you stupid plane.

Give me my pen.

I'll kick you right in the fuselage.

Give me my pen!

[ Whining]: give me my pen.