03x13 - Stare and Stare Alike!/I am Not an Animal, I'm Scientist #1

[bunniefuu]

[ Lively dance music playing]


♪ A-a-a-angry beavers

♪ Beavers.

[ Thunder]

[ Yawns]

It's been so long.

I can't even remember how this got started.

Ooh! Me neither.

Hey, say, how long has it been?

[ Watch ticking]

Oh, nice try, dag-day-afternoon.

I'm not falling for that.

Eh-- what?

If you think I'd lose a staring contest that easy

To a boob like you, you're nuts.

Nuts?

Who are you calling nuts?

You.

You can use all the big sciency words you want, laddie

But it doesn't matter.

I'm not going to blink first, blinkie.

Which word did you think was sciency?

Blinkie.

Don't forget.

The loser-- that'll be you...

The loser?

Has to clean up

The space between the winner's toes--

That'll be me--

With their teeth!

Ooh!

You might as well start scraping, dagter shole.

[ Chuckling]

Oh, I delight myself.

It's a golden opportunity.

Huh? Think about it.

What?

As a younger brother...

Yes.

You're never first at anything.

[ Stammers]

This is your big chance.

Hmm.

You should be thanking me, come on.

Uh, you're right.

I'm sorry, norby.

I've been a shellfish.

You've been a selfish little beaver.

I guess I just...

Oh, you think you're so smarty, smarty pants.

You know it, boobula.

You listen to me, bubby.

We'll see who's smart when I win!

[ Thunder cracks and rumbles]

Hey, dag?

Yes, hank.

Huh?

I mean, norb.

Don't blink.

I won't.

[ Jaggedly]: yes, you will

Because you're nothing but a spoo-ter-ly loser.

No, I won't...

Because I play dirty!

Nice try.

Spoot.

[ Eagle shrieks]

[ Jabbering]

I won! I won!

You blinkied.

I did not.

Oh, yes, you did, I just saw you.

You blinkied with your under-the-water lids

That beavers use when they're under the water

Instead of goggle's lids.

So?

So you admit it?

Ah, the thrill of victory and the agony of my feet.

I hate to burst your booble, dag of the fetid feet.

Fetid?

Yeah, that's fancy talk for stinky.

Oh.

But you never said we couldn't use second lids.

Yeah, so.

Yeah?

Well, I never said we could either

So there.

So either.

From now on, no second lids.

No problemo, señor spittle bottom.

I didn't know you spoke french.

Second lids or not

I can take whatever you dish out, pal.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I haven't even tried yet.

Ooh, I'm scare-reda.

Go for it.

Huh?

[ Gasps]

[ Strums]

[ Whimpers]

No, you can't.

It's not fair.

Don't, don't, don't!

♪ If I know that we're through ♪

♪ Since I threw up on you

♪ What can I do to make you see? ♪

Get out of my head!

♪ The roller coaster was long

♪ My stomach not strong

♪ As you sat beside me.

♪ I should have turned the other way ♪

♪ There's nothing more I can say ♪

Both: ♪ if I had turned the other way ♪

♪ You'd still be with me today

♪ It isn't easy when your stomach is queasy ♪

♪ To tell someone how you feel

♪ I guess it's too late when you look at your date ♪

♪ And she's wearing your meal

[ Hoots]

For the love of mike girard's overbuilt truck-- stop!

It's like a bagful of cats gargling razor blades.

But it's my favorite part.

No!

[ Chomping loudly]

[ Spits]

[ Splats]

This is the most sloozily stupid game I've ever played

And instead of doing something healthy like watching tv

I'm just sitting here staring at you.

Dag, that's it.

No, I'm not done yet.

No, don't you remember...

Both: tv!

We both entered the same television contest:

"Win the best prize you've ever seen."

And while we were both waiting for the big broadcast...

Yes?

You said vouz deserved to win more than i.

Moy.

I thought you were norb.

Likewise.

Yeah, and... ?

Andthen you said a whole lot of dumb things.

I'm not sure how but I know it was your fault.

You started this whole staring contest thing, remember?

Uh, the dumb stuff rings a bel but who won on the tv show?

We haven't watched it yayt.

So, it means that could be on right now.

Yep.

We got to find the remote!

[ Smash]

[ Babbling]

You know maybe we should try the couch.

Oh, okay.

Did you find it?

No.

[ Crashing]

What was that?

Oh, don't worry about it.

[ Yelping]

Dag, stay perfectly still.

Both: whew!

[ Grunts]

Do you see what I see?

And now, for the moment you've been waiting for.

The part of our show when we give away the best prize

You've ever seen.

Last week we asked you to send in a picture

Along with your entry blank.

We put them in this barrel and had lucky the monkey

Pick one at random.

What have you got, lucky?

[ Chatters]

Ladies and gentlemen, if this is your picture

Then you're the winner.

Call in now.

[ Applause]

[ Stammers]

Isn't he going to say who won?

I'll tell you, folks.

This is one lucky beaver.

Call in now.

You're a winner!

Well?

[ Whining]

If this beaver is you, you only have more seconds to call in.

[ Whining]

Okay, dag, I got it!

Yeah, yeah?

We'll call a time-out...

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Until we find out who won.

Yeah, yeah, yes, yes.

No!

No way, it's a trick.

It's not a trick.

Time-out!

No, no!

If you want to see who won

You'll have to lose on purpose.

Fine!

What'll you give me?

Huh?

Just ten seconds left.

Ten...

Anything!

No, everything!

Nine... Eight...

My first baby toy-- all my toys!

Seven...

Six... Five...

I'll even give you my umbilical cord

When it falls off.

Four...

No thanks.

The only way we're going to see who won

Is if we both lose.

Two...

Deal!

One.

[ Bell rings]

Oh, no.

That's too bad because that beaver would have won this:

The best prize you've ever seen.

So until next week, bye, ta-ta, bye-bye.

That means, see you later.

I'm not quite sure how yet

But I know this is your fault.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

At least we can blink now.

Hello again, eyelids.

You're like a warm velvet.

[ Hoots]

Yeah, baby!

Uh, norby?

Hmm?

I think we stared too long.

Why's that, my brotha?

I can't open my eyes.

[ Burps]

Me neither.

[ Whistles]

[ Yelping]

[ Crashing]

What are we going to do?

Oh, I'm sorry, folks.

It seems lucky, the stupid little monkey

Made a slight mistake.

It was this beaver who won the prize.

If this is your picture, call in now.

Both: oh, no!

[ Sobbing]

[ Thunder]

Heavens, what have I done?

[ Diabolical laugh]

I am free!

[ Chanting]

[ Door banging]

[ Thunder]

[ Crashing]

[ Teeth chattering]

Ew!

See, pete.

See how miserably they live?

Yeah, miserable.

Sad, miserable.

Oh, no.

Dag, it's...

That mumbling guy who's always hurting us

In the name of science.

[ Diabolical laugh]

And some butt-chin beaver.

Dag-it.

Don't you recognize his voice?

No.

It's the other scientist guy.

He has, no doubt, been transformed into a beavous

In some un-athical lay-boratory experiment gone orrie.

Yes, it's true.

I am now...

Ah! Oh! Rrr...

I am a weasely-bucked-tooth- thingy, just like you

Although I still have my snazzy white coat.

It's not really your coat

It's my coat.

No, don't blame yourself, pete.

Be gone.

And remember, pete, I've always...

[ Hysterically laughing]

Loser!

[ Continues to laugh]

I need you two to teach me how

To be a bucked-toothed rat like you.

What?

Come on, norb

This is our big chance to kick his chin.

Payback!

Wait a second, daggy-lee.

This sceen-nario may be sweeter

Than physical veelience.

Not liking.

Daggett: oh, your feet stink!

There you go.

How to swim, how to build a damn.

That's everything you need to know

About being a beaver.

No matter how pathetic it may be.

All right, on your way.

Tootles!

[ Door slams]

I can't wait for that

Losily-spootmyster- myster-spooter

To fall in his face.

Trust me, dag

The only thing better than kicking scientific tuchas

Is going to be watching him trying to be a beaver.

Back so soon?

Here it comes!

Whoo!

[ Splashing]

No, actually I'm finished.

What theeee...

Hmm? What?

Welcome to my, um, power new world.

I think you'll see

That I'm better at being a water rat than you

And that makes me the obvious choice

To be you leader.

Okey-dokey.

Daggett, what are you saying?

This guy thinks he's better than all of us.

Would you like to take the tour?

Ooh, a tramway.

Let's go.

Remain seated.

[ Clunk]

Ah!

Whoa!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Welcome the jalapeno arboretum

Where I have varieties of peppers

Genetically altered to grow complete with stuffing.

Daggett: whoa!

[ Scientist laughing diabolically ]

Scientist: this is the movie studio

Where I am remaking all of the films

Of oxnard mantalvo.

What?

What?

Blasphemy!

How could you ever...

Ever!

Ever!

Replace the acting genius that is oxnard mantalvo.

We didn't.

Together: huh!

Oxnard mantalvo, in color.

The future of the weasel-thingy is now.

When I saw how you two lived

I thought I was doomed

To a savage existence of filth and stupidity.

But since I've become the...

[ Grunting]

But since I've become the ultimate beaver

I've decided to use my superior thinking

The one i... Planned

To create a world where there is nothing

But peace and harmony for all.

Thank you.

We can live like super-beavers.

And I can probably even help you

With that unfortunate hair problem of yours.

That's it!

This abomination of science must be...

Stopped!

Okay.

If that's how you feel.

Ah!

Oof!

Yes, gaze upon it

Study it, learn it, memorize it.

Recite it.

The next frontier, a new planet made by, um...

Beavers.

Made for..

Beavers.

Yes, those furry-fishy things.

And the name of this new planet

Will be todd.

Todd.

Master, tell me which land

Will be mine to rule with an iron hand.

Take your pick.

I want this one.

What should we call it?

We'll call it todd.

Maybe I should take over the naming.

Okay, todd, that's yours.

Never mind, master.

[ Thunder]

[ Doorbell ringing]

Pete, I need your help.

And this will be named dagramento.

And this one will be daghio.

And then there's dagacookamunda.

And let's not forget otisberg.

Otisber?

Seven-three-two, please retrieve me a yawn...

Hey, seven-three-two, can't you see I'm thirsty?

Don't make me use my agonizer.

[ Screaming]

Seven-three-two, this behavior, while somewhat amusing

Is not acceptable.

Einstein, this humanifier

Is going to turn you back into a human

And end this reign of terriors you call paradise.

So prepare to become human.

Hmm, sounds good.

Not so fast, tiny-faced--

Pete, give me the...

Wha-what did you say?

Well, given the choice between ruling the world

As a moist, skunky, thingy

Or being an insignificant

But overpaid government servant

The choice is clear.

Bust me, baby.

No!

What are you doing, dag?

Don't, don't you see, norb.

This is beaver destiny.

We can have anything.

Anything but breathe mints.

Ah!

[ Beavers fighting]

I can't let this be!

Why not?

He made fun of my hair.

[ Fighting resumes]

Mumbling: doctor, I missed you.

I missed you, too, todd, uh, pete.

Daggett: I think it's going to explode!

Run!

What have I done.

[ Daggett yawning]

Daggett: morning, norby.

[ Norbert yawning]

Norbert: morning, dag.

Time to enjoy the day.

It's a beautiful day in magna!

The birds are out, the feesh are jumping

And barry's eating how-ney.

Daggett: ah, yes, it doesn't get any better than this, norby.

Norbert: hmm!

Isn't it beautiful, todd?

Pete.

A perfect world.

[ Diabolical laugh]

And nickelodeon]