03x17 - Long Tall Daggy/Practical Jerks

[bunniefuu]

[ Lively dance music playing]


♪ A-a-a-angry beavers

♪ Beavers.

[ Snoring]

[ Rooster crowing]

[ Beeps, moos]

[ Cowbell jangles]

[ Daggett snoring, gibbering...]

[ Loud, brassy music playing]

Rise and shine, diggy-daggy!

It's monday morning

And you know what that means?

Measurin' day!

Time to tabulate the tallerness.

Forget it!

You just want to show off

That you're taller than me again.

Go tabulate yourself and leave me alone.

Dag, dag, dag...

You're missing the point.

Of course I'm taller-- I'm the older brother.

That's just nature's wondrous nature-al wonder.

Besides measurin' day is not about who's taller

Or shorter-- which by the way you are--

It's about chronicling our personal growth and development together

So that one day we may look back at it

With fond, nostalgiatic memories.

Come on, dag, what do you say?

To the chart!

Stupid spooty measurin' day!

Eh...

Here you go, big feela.

I saved you a spot right here next to your old, big bro.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's just get it over with.

Stand up straight now.

I am standing up!

Our chart o'tallerness demands accuracy.

[ Thunk]

[ Whirring]

[ Laughing]

Ghee...!

It c-c-can't b-b-be!

Eh?

[ Sizzling]

[ Cracking]

Bu... Eh.. Oh... Eh... Norby!

It, it says I'm taller than you!

No, it doesn't. No.

I'm... I'm taller than my older brother.

I'm taller than norby! I'm taller...

I'm taller, I'm taller

I'm taller than norby.

Wow, things look so different from up here.

Oh, I'm sorry, you wouldn't know about that, would you

Little shorty, short norby?

[ Laughing]

You stop that.

Shorty, shorty, shor...

[ Laughing]

Me, I'm taller

I'm taller, I'm taller, I'm taller than norby.

[ Door slams]

[ Grunts, cries]

Oh, no...

It can't be happening.

Dag... Taller...

I'm tall-lally...

It's not fair, it's not right.

Norby's no-ot-ty...

It's not nature-al!

Dag: hoo-ah!

I'm tally, I'm tally.

[ In baby voice]: here you go, widdle norby.

These clothes are way too small for me.

They should fit you perfectly. [ Laughs]

Beep-beep-beep- beep-beep-beep-beep.

Hello, barry? I'm taller than norb.

[ Beep] hey, bing, guess what? I'm taller than norb.

[ Beep] hello, truckee?

Dag...

I'm taller than norb... And I still hate you.

Dag, dag...

Hola, el grapadura.

Yo es mas muy grande-er

Than los el norbito. [ Laughs]

Dag! What?!

You know, big daggy...

Yes, little one?

Though you may be taller

I am still the all-around superior, much better beaver.

Yes... But I'm taller.

But I'm smarter.

So? I'm still taller.

I am more athleetic.

So? I'm still taller.

I have more friends!

So? I'm still...

I know! You're still taller!

Which, as I said before...

Yes?

Doesn't bother me a bit.

Good... [ Wheezing laugh]

'Cause I've got some tall-guy faxing to do.

[ Laughing...]

Steady, now, norb.

Get a hold of yourself.

Don't let him get to you.

Just relax, watch some tv, and put it out of your mind.

[ Phone rings]

Dag: hi, norb? I'm still taller.

[ Grunts]

Man: being much shorter than the rest... [ Laughs]

The runt of the litter

Is banished from the herd

Never to find a mate or know a moment's happiness.

[ Click] woman: I'm sorry, enzo, but it can never work out between us.

Enzo: is it because I'm a jockey?

Woman:yes.

[ Click] man: today we'll be making strawberry shortcake!

[ Weeping]

I'm shorter than the world's biggest doofius!

[ Sobbing]

Hey, little norby...

Going to go meet barry and big rabbit for some hoop ball, baby.

They need another tall guy to help crash the boards.

Have fun.

'Kay. See ya.

Hear me, oh, callous keepers of the tallerness.

I vow that this injusti-us

Will not stand!

"Big jim's hyper grow grog.

Get big, big time fast!"

We'll see who's the shorty-short beaver.

[ Laughs]

[ Gulping]

[ Rumbling]

I... I guess it was just for hair growth.

Ride like the wind, my fine, porcine steeds!

And elonjigigate my spine!

See-haw!

[ Hogs squealing]

[ Thud, grunt]

Woman: thank you for choosing the taller tech

Centrifugal spinal elongation.

[ Speaking with difficulty]: it's working!

[ Whirring faster]

It...

[ Screaming]

[ Thud, grunt]

[ Snorting happily]

Tomorrow's measurin' day, little norby.

Isn't that great?

Eh...

I know, I can hardly wait, either.

[ In baby voice]: good night, widdle norby.

Won't be needing this anymore.

Uh, norb? Still taller, by the way.

Tomorrow's... Measurin' day.

Measurin' day... Measurin' day... Measurin'...

[ Dag laughing]

It's measurin' day, little nor-bay!

Stand tall, norby...

The chart o'talliness demands accuracy!

[ Laughing...]

[ Screaming]

But why can't it work out between us?

I don't understand.

Ghee.

Dag: face it, little norby.

She doesn't want to waste her time

On the little shorty short pants beaver!

[ Laughing...]

No... Wait!

Treeflower! Don't...

Go...!

[ Grunts]

[ Voices overlapping]

Woman: hello? Come on.

[ People screaming]

Just where do you think

You're going, little norby?

To ride the roller coaster?

Oh, no, you're not.

All riders must be as tall as this line, and you're not.

There's only one ride

For little fellas like you.

Oh.... Ee...

Because...

You're a little shorty short pants beaver!

You're short, short!

[ Gasps]

[ Voices muttering]

This can't be happening!

Please stop.

I'm not short...

I'm not short!

Help...

[ Screaming]

I'm not short!

Oh... It was just a horrible dre-am!

Dag: norbert, it's measurin' day, baby!

Buh-ah...

Gah...!

[ In baby voice]: your chart's all weady for you, norby-worby-torby.

So am i!

Let's do it.

Wait!

I lied, dag.

I thought I could handle being your shorter, older brother

But the truth is... I can't!

And it would really, re-al-ly mean a lot to me

If we didn't have measurin' day anymore.

Do you understand, dag?

I don't want no more measurin' day.

I... Think I understand, norby.

You don't want to have measurin' day anymore, well, because

I guess it makes you feel like a...

Shorty shorty pants!

[ Laughs]

Well, that's tough newbies, norby!

Let the measurin' begin!

[ Gasps]

Hoochy babalooey!

[ Laughs]

I am...

It sure is nice to have the old... Norby back.

A big, tall strapping beaver.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, big deal.

Who cares about your spooty old tallerness, anyway?

What's that?

Daggett: eww!

What's that?

Norbert: what?

Norby's got a grosso

Icky-wicky-sticky nose hair.

Correcshion, my little brother.

Huh?

It's only proof positive

That I am a more potently boyish boy beaver.

Hmm.

Maybe someday you, too, will grow one of...

[ Grunts]

Ow, ow-- these.

[ Giggles]

Oh, yeah?

Then I'll just take one of yours.

Ow!

[ Giggles]

Big mistake, daggah!

So you're not so manly anymore

Spoot-head.

I didn't know you had it in you, my little brother.

Indeed.

You're more about trucks and meat than I thought.

I don't know about you, daggy-waggy

But I feel invigorated by our combative encounter.

Let's do some more manly activities.

[ Daggett panting excitedly]

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's pick on some goyls.

Mm-hmm-hmm...

♪ We're gonna tease some girls ♪

Cha-cha-cha.

♪ We're gonna tease some girls ♪

Cha-cha-cha.

♪ We're gonna tease some girls ♪

Cha-cha-cha.

But that's treeflower's house!

Ooh! Someone's not so manly now, is he?

[ Giggles maliciously]

[ Groans]

What's the matter, norby?

Scared she won't like you anymore?

[ Giggles maliciously]

Oh, I'll show you!

Hey, treeflower?!

Uh, you're... Um... You're a girl!

[ Giggles frantically]

That was fun.

You're darn tootin'!

You, you, you...

Girl!

[ Both cackling]

You're a girl!

You have to be a girl...

A girl.

Because you're only a girl.

Which means you have to be...

Et cetera.

Good show, my brotha.

Yes, indeed.

But can you top this?

[ Short tune plays]

Run!

[ Laughing crazily]

[ Both laughing]

[ Humming]

You showed her, norby.

That'll learn her to be a gurl.

We were quite the merry pranksters, weren't we?

[ Stammers]

Indeed.

[ Guffaws]

No, daggy-waggy, not everyone can know the viral feeling...

Viral?

The boyishness.

Better get some medication

For that viral, huh, hmm?

Ah, wednesday!

That's funny.

Mine say "october."

[ Gasps]

Mayshed potatoes?

[ Laughing forcefully]

Daggit, you ruined my undies.

Did not!

[ Laughing]

Did too!

Mr. Poopy potato pants.

[ Giggles]

Don't mess with the bull, my friend.

You'll get the horns.

Ooh, I am so scarabee.

Ooh.

[ Grunting]

[ Grunting]

[ Chuckles]

Well, well, well.

Looks like we have a little short-sheeting aycshion.

Oh, you like the nightlife, do you?

♪ I like to boogie.

You did this!

Au contraire, mon frere.

I wish I could say this bit of handiwork was mine.

I could not have done it better myself.

[ Chuckles]

Sleep tight, daggy.

[ Daggett whimpers]

[ Beavers snoring]

[ Snoring]

Mashed potatoes?

No fair, norby!

What?

Don't play dumb with me, you joke guy.

Like you didn't do it.

[ Thud]

Like I did.

Like I believe you.

Like I care.

Like i-i-i... Like, like, like...

Good night.

Like...

Good night.

Moron.

Am not.

Moron.

Am not.

Moron.

Am not.

[ Snoring]

Treeflower.

[ Mumbling]

Ah...

[ Trickling]

[ Laughing sleepily]

[ Grunts]

Eww!

Eww!

[ Giggling]

[ Squishing]

[ Squishing]

Daggett: hey, norby.

Your pants are all wet.

Have you been swimming?

[ Eagerly]: yes.

[ Laughs crazily]

Mr. Manly-man.

It looks like someone couldn't hold it in.

[ Cackles]

It's not how it looks, dag.

I swear.

[ Daggett laughs]

Daggett: it serves you right for all your spooty pranks.

Pranks?

Well, if that ain't the bayver

Calling the kaytle a pout.

Prankin' schmankin'.

It's time to fight like men.

[ Screeches]

[ Yelps]

[ Daggett yelling]

Uncle, uncle.

I swear I never prank-ed you.

Well, if you didn't prank me

And I didn't prank you

Then who did?

[ Loud, squeaky giggling]

[ Both gasping, teeth chattering]

What was that, norby?

I don't know

But I sure don't like the sound of it.

Quick, k*ll the lights so they can't find us.

[ Squish]

[ Yells]

Run, norby, run!

The mashed potatoes are following us!

Come on!

[ Both yelling]

[ Loud giggling]

I'm beginning to notice a pattern here.

[ Grunts]

[ Laughter]

Norbert: this whole dam's been booby-trapped.

Duh?

Who could be behind this evil scheme of humiliation?

[ Grunts]

[ Farts]

Could it be that we're getting our comeuppance?

[ Stammers]

That would have mean we have done something wrong.

That's it: treeflower.

She must be giving us a little of the old payback.

We'll just call her up

And serve up some of that "we're so sorriness."

Hey, what happened to good old vengeance?

[ Dial tone buzzes]

Oh, good-- no mashed taters here.

[ Keypad beeps]

Woman: this is treeflower's answering service.

Treeflower's off on another exciting adventure

Where she'll change her career and personality one more time

But please leave a message

And she'll be sure to get back to you.

[ Beeps]

Uh...

[ Giggles nervously]

Uh, treeflower?

[ Giggles nervously]

This is norb...

[ Giggles nervously]

And dag, and we're really...

[ Giggles nervously]

He's laughing too.

We're really sorry about today.

I'm not.

Yes, he is.

No, I'm not.

And we want a truce.

No, I don't...

[ Giggles nervously]

I want revenge.

[ Witchlike cackling]

The line's been cut!

Head for the hills!

[ Both yelling]

Both: we've been t.p.'D!

[ Witchlike cackling]

She's inside.

Let's pull her out.

And she's toying with us.

Let's split up.

Why?

It makes too much sense to stick together.

Okay.

[ Whining]

[ Loud crashing and tumbling]

[ Grunts]

[ Witchlike cackling]

[ Laughing]

Good one!

You're not going to do that to my brother

You monster or whatever you are.

I'm not scared of you, you, you, you scary thinginy-bob.

[ Daggett yelping]

[ Grunts]

Daggy, you're all pink!

Youse been smeared with mabob sauce.

Oh, no.

That's it!

Yeah.

Oh, mysterious, unseen foe

Show thyself and fight.

[ Fizzing]

[ Fizzles]

[ Both sigh]

[ Loud expl*si*n]

[ Loud cackling]

We surrender, treeflower.

Call off your thugs.

[ Quietly]: play along.

Huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

We... We didn't mean any hurtiness

Just because you're a thingy girl or do any girl thingies.

Echoing voice: what else?

Um, and we've learned that teasing is wrong.

There, are you satisfied?

Now, come on out, treeflower.

Come on out here, you little minx.

Who's this treeflower, anyway?

Hey!

It's those amazon girl-raccoon lady thingies

From mighty knothead.

You mean you're not seeking revenge for treeflower

For our juvenile antics?

I like revenge.

No way.

We tease that girl weasel, too.

Well, so what's the big idea with the pranks, eh?

Oh, that.

[ Laughs evilly]

Well, we're just mean.

Cool.

You got to respect that.

Indeed.

[ Both yelling]

[ Loud expl*si*n]