- [theme music plays]
♪
♪ Angry Beavers
♪
♪
♪ Beavers
- ♪
- [honk]
- [snoring]
- ♪
- [mumbles]
[yawns]
[mumbles]
- DAGGETT: [snores]
- [clank]
- ♪
- Hey, Norbie, you awake?
- [horn] - [yells]
Dag, it's... - [bell rings]
- Eeeeee! It's Bing, Norbie!
Run for our lives!
- Hiya, beaver buds! Short time, no see!
- [groans]
What are you doing here?
I thought we put you on a slow boat to Switzerland yesterday.
- ♪
- [thud]
- [boat horn blasts]
- MAN: Mexico!
- You did. What do you say?
Up for some cooly cool clogging?
- No. - Huh?
♪ Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques ♪
♪ Frère Jacques, yo-da-lay-hoo, Yo-da-lay-hoo ♪
Okay, if you're not up for clogging,
we can do something else.
I know a million cool, super fun things we can do.
We could reorganize my used skin collection.
Then, after a light high-carbo brunch,
we could do a little hang gliding.
- You know, I hear Tibet is lovely this time of year.
- I get nosebleeds really easily,
so we can't go very high, okay?
Oh, and then--this is a real coolly cool part--
we could play charades, which is, like,
one of my most favorite games ever.
I usually have to play by myself, which isn't very fun,
but playing with you guys would be really fun.
Here we go. I'm thinking of a famous movie musical.
Four words. First word sounds like "the."
- DAGGETT: Eh. - BING: Wait a minute.
It isn't the word "the." Okay, let me start over.
- [squash]
- BING: Scary monster movie title, ten words.
No, wait a minute, that's eight words.
I think it's seven words.
- [whoosh]
- BOTH: We're free!
- Free at last! - Free, I tell you!
- [cheering]
- Free.
- I'll tell ya, we won't be seeing
that doofy little lizardy dumb guy for awhile.
- [laughter]
- [creaking]
- BILL ON TV: Greetings, bienvenidos, willkommen,
konichiwa, and hidey-ho, dysfunctional friends,
and welcome to "Licking Your Problems" with Bill Licking.
Today, I'm coming to you live from the home
of international bestselling author
of "Nice and Lonely-- Learning to Live with Friends
Who Always Ditch You," Mr. Bung!
- That's Bing, Bill. - BOTH: Bing, Bill?!
- Bing, your book has touched the hearts
of millions worldwide. How do you explain its success?
- I write what I know, Bill.
- You mean to say that you have friends who always ditch you?
- AUDIENCE: Aww!
- I don't want to name any of my friends' names.
Hey, Norb! Hey, Daggett!
- [boing]
- Let's just say that there's a couple of guys
out there who don't seem to like having me around.
- AUDIENCE: Aww! - MAN: That's not nice.
- Well, from the size of this crowd,
I'd say everybody else wants Bing around.
- AUDIENCE: [cheering]
- This is kinda cool. I look pretty good in it.
Did this used to be a pet? - Give me that!
Oh, we're back. Well, I know one thing for sure.
Bill Licking will never ditch you, Boing.
- Uh, that's Bing, but thanks a bunch, Bert.
- It's Bill, not Bert, Bong. - You mean Bing, Bob.
- Forget it.
- Bing...the latest thing? - Pretty cool.
- How could you let this happen?
Everybody is on the Bing wagon but us.
We're the only people in the whole world
who don't want Bingy around-y.
- BING: Yeah, that's right. - BOTH: Bingy!
- Except for the people in Cuba. on account they have some
weirdo embargo thingy, so they can't buy my book.
It's me, Bing, by the way.
- What are you doing here, Bing, by the way?
- Now that everybody wants to be around me,
the only place I can be alone is here
as you guys don't want to be around me. Pretty ironic, huh?
- Who are you calling ironic?
- Now, Bing-- - Huh?
- What would ever make you think
we wouldn't want to be around you?
- Because you guys are always trying to ditch me?
- Yeah, so?
- Oopf!
- Hey, what he means is, you're our most favoritist--
- No, I don't. - Yes, you do.
-- fame-e-ous buddy, Bing. - Hey, how about that, Bing?
- Oh, we would never try to ditch you.
- Yes, we would. - As far as you know.
- [whistle]
- Uh, what about the time you took me whitewater kayaking?
- [folksy guitar music plays]
♪
- [whistle]
- Or the time we went bungee jumping?
- [folksy guitar music plays]
- Whee!
- [boing] - Huh?
[screams]
- [crash]
- BING: Or the time we played hide-and-seek?
, , , , , .
- [giggling]
- BING: , , , .
Ready or not, here I--
- [blast]
- [wind blowing]
- Ha ha, Bing, ha, ho, I know it might seem like
we've treated you pretty bad in the past,
but I want you to know from the bottom of my heart...
it was all Dag's idea! I had nothing to do with it!
'Cause from now on, I'm gonna be the biggest,
bestiest buddy you ever had!
Big hug!
- Greaty great great! I love big-- [chokes]
- Hey, hey, hey! Wait a minute!
I'm a bigger and betterer buddy thingy than you are!
- No, you don't, Mr. Ditchmeister!
Bing is my buddy! Back off!
- [crash]
- [muffled screams]
- Let me in there, you spooty buddy hug hogger!
- [yelling, grunting]
- [thud]
- Eee?
Eee.
- [slapping]
- Ooh, aw, ow! Ooh, aw, ooh, ooh!
- [slapping]
- [yelps] Ha!
Take that, you spooty and wiggly and lizardy
and tail thingy! And, and, and!
[yelps]
[screams]
- [crash]
- DAGGETT: [groans]
- [metal clanking]
- Anyway, let the bestiest buddyness begin!
For starters, I thought we would dabble
in the ancient Oriental art of origami.
- Origami? Cool! Is that like kung fu or something?
- No, my little Bing hopper.
It is the delicate craft of Japanese paper sculpture.
Observe.
Behold!
- Wow, that's me! Wow, that's way cooly cool!
Let me try.
- ♪
- [whistle]
- [squeak]
- DAGGETT: Hooah!
This is the kind of fun stuff real best buddies do!
[hawks a loogie] Ding!
Not that boring old spootagami paper thingy stuff.
[hawks a loogie] Ding! Hooah!
- You said it, Daggy!
- [Western music plays]
- [boinging]
- Woo-hah! Wee-hee!
- [crash]
- [mutters incoherently]
- [creaking]
- All aboard!
- [train whistle]
- Wow, Norbie.
I never got to drive a real toy train before!
- Well, that's what bestest buddies are for.
- [giggles] I guess you're right, yeah.
- And continue massaging that leg
with Licking's Oint-Ewe Sheep Bladder Cream.
- ♪ Frère Jacque, Frère Jacques ♪
- I thought I ditched you.
- ♪ Yo-da-lay-hoo, yo-da-lay-hoo ♪
- Help. Somebody help me.
- ♪ Yo-da-lay-hoo - Tunnel ahead.
Sound the whistle, Engineer Bing!
- Roger righty-o, best buddy Engineer Normie.
- [sounds whistle and bell]
- [crash]
- Hooah! - Whoo! [giggles]
- ♪
- Hooah! - [laughs]
- ♪
- [bubbling]
- [bell ringing]
- There you go, Bing-o buddy, back where you belong.
Tell you what.
I'll rustle us up some tasty snackaroonies,
and then we'll go play with my private tree sap collection.
- That sounds greaty great great!
- DAGGETT: No, no, you won't!
'Cause him and me are going to watch
my "El Grappadora Thighs of Wrath Master Workout" video.
- Wow, that sounds pretty great, too.
- You betcha.
- Wait, wait right there, little fella.
- ♪
- This won't take a second.
Bing ain't gonna be doing nothin' with you,
because I'm his bestest buddy, and he's hanging out with me.
- Well, I'm his betterer bestest buddy,
and I say he's hanging out with me.
- He's hanging out with me! - He's hanging out with me!
- NORBERT: He's hanging out with me!
- DAGGETT: No, he's hanging out with me!
- Wait, guys, you can both hang out with me.
- BOTH: You stay out of this!
- [teeth chattering]
- ♪
- He's my buddy!
Don't take my buddy! - He's my buddy!
- Alrighty, you leave me no choice.
- [grunting]
- DAGGETT: Uh, hey, Norb?
Do you get the feeling that we've been taped up inside a box
that's about to be sent someplace
way, way, way, way far away?
- NORBERT: Dag? - DAGGETT: What?
- NORBERT: The most annoying loserly clingy doof
in the whole world has ditched us.
- DAGGETT: Eep!
- [dramatic sting]
- BING: I didn't. I'm right here.
I would never ditch you guys.
- [screaming]
[yelling] - NORBERT: Get him off of me!
- ALL: [yelling]
- NORBERT: We're moving! Bing, you're in here.
Who's moving us? Oh, there's gotta be a way out!
- Get us out of here!
The tail thingy's back!
- [yelling, thudding]
- Remember, when you use Bill Licking Tape,
it takes a licking and keeps on sticking.
Now available in menthol.
- ♪
- ♪
- [horn honks]
- [water rushing]
- [sporty music plays]
♪
- [grunts]
[grunts]
- [thud]
- Oopf!
- Hey, what's with the kooky quilted ball thingy
and that goofy hair?
[laughs] [grunts]
- Give me that! - Hey, hey!
- It's obvious you don't know the first thing about soccer.
- What's soccer?
- 'Cause if you did, you'd know only a goalie, such as "moy,"
can use his hands.
All other players, that would be "vows",
can only use "vows'" feet. - Oh, oh, yeah?
Oh, oh yeah? - Yeah!
- Oh, yeah? - Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah? - Oh, yeah.
- Yeah. - Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah? - Oh, yeah.
- Norbert, my man, Team Barry needs a goalie.
- Hoochie bubbaloo! Consider your goal kept.
- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- You can stop now. - Oh, yeah?
- Ball's yours, anytime.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah?
- When this is over, I'm selling you to science.
- ♪
- [whistle]
- [grunts]
[grunts]
- Oh, so that's this soccer feets only thingy.
You know, with my talented toesie,
I can do that easy-ohsie.
- ♪
- [clank] - [groans]
[mutters incoherently] Stupid ball!
- ♪
- [clank]
- Stupid, stupid ball! Prepare to be spun!
Whee!
- [raspberry]
- [birds chirping]
- Stupid ball, and stupid ball, and stupid, stupid, stupid ball,
and, and, and, and, and!
Oopf!
[groans] Stupid ball!
- ♪
- Hoo, baby, you ain't getting in here no how, no way.
This door is closed. This--
- [clanking]
- [groans]
What the--
- You know, Barry, baby,
you just have to let the spooty ball thingy
know who's boss, baby.
- Kicky, Daggett. Thanks for the tiperonski.
You're a natural-born Pelé-type soccer star, baby.
- Hey, guess what, Norbie?
I'm a natural born Pelé-type soccer guy.
- Well, I hate to burst your bubble head,
Mr. Don't Know the First Thing About Soccer,
but you don't know the first thing about soccer.
That kick was a fluke, a fa-luke!
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah!
- Well, watch me fa-luke you again!
- [clanking]
- [mutters incoherently] Stupid ball!
Bah! - [laughs]
- [crash] - That's it, soccer boy!
Bring on the magic footwork, Mr. Doofus!
- Stupid, stupid, stupid ball!
- [laughs] Oopf!
- [thud]
- [birds chirping]
- [glass shattering] - [woman screams]
- You know what you are? - What?
- You're a menace! - I thought I was a fa-luke!
- Don't interrupt me while I'm on the verge of
a momentus accidental discoverat.
Your kicking is a danger to all crea-tures small and "larg,"
like those big guys who were just here
that we could b*at in the Coupe de Ponde
with that dangerous kick of your--
say...
- ♪
- [mutters incoherently]
Soccer! Fa-luke!
[mutters incoherenly]
- So, what do you say, guys? A little two-on-two a-ction?
Just me and my goofy, doofy,
un soccer-skilled brother over there?
- Come on, Norb.
We all saw Dag kick that cannonball yesterday.
You really expect us
to be slicking into playing the two of you?
- Really, um, uh, I, uh...
- Okay, you've sold me. Let's play.
- Alright, Mr. Ball, get ready to feel the pain that is my toe.
- Whoa, Daggaroni, whoa,
you're gonna kick that ball or ask it rhumba?
- [conga music plays]
- NORBERT: Hey, Dag? I think I hear something.
I do! It's the ball!
It's laughing at you.
It's calling you a dooofus!
- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?!
Call me by my middle name, will ya, you stupid, stupid ball!
Take that!
- [laughs]
- [thud]
- Oh, baby. [groans]
- ♪
- Stupid ball! Ball, ball!
Stupid ball, ball, ball!
- [laughs mockingly]
Do-do-do-doofus!
- Ball, ball, ball!
- [beatboxing]
Doofus!
[spits] [grunts]
Do-do...doofus!
Doofus! - Ay, ay, ay!
- DAGGETT: Ball, ball, ball! - [laughs]
- Do-do-do-do-doofus!
- [laughs]
- [beatboxing] Doofus!
- [clanking]
- Ball, ball, ball, ball.
[cheers]
- Thatta boy, doofus!
Show 'em what a big loserly doofus you are!
[laughs] Sometimes I amaze myself.
I'm not just playing with the big guys.
I'm b*ating them with a little help from Dr. Doofus.
Coupe de Ponde, here we come!
- [grunts] - [boinging]
- [grunts] - [boinging]
- That's it, Mr. Kickmeister. Stay angry.
You're beautiful when you're mad.
- [bagpipe music plays]
- DAGGETT: [grunts]
[in British accent] Fakes another, he's in the open now.
He's broken up. And the crowd goes wild!
- What--what the?
- [glass shatters]
- The number-one striker is charging the goal.
There's no one to stop him but one puny goalie named Norbert!
- NORBERT: Named what?!
- That sh**t! Hey, that sh**t, I mean!
He scores!
- [crash]
- Goal! Goal! - [crash]
And here's the happy, angry British grunts.
Ooh! Ahh! Ooh!
- Daggett, what in the name of what's his name are you doing?
Eew!
- Get your mitts off me, mate,
or I'll bloomin' well bloomin' well ya!
- Why are you talking like that?
- 'Cause I've risen to the top of the football world, mate.
I'm a bloomin' angry British soccer hooligan,
Judy, Judy, Judy!
- And that's a good thing?
- Bloomin' well right it is, you weasel!
Even if we don't wins the game,
we get into to a bloomin' fight after it!
Heh! Now get out of me bloomin' way!
I'm bloomin' angry! - Eee!
- Bloomin' this! And that! And this! Bloomin' that!
Bloomin' this! Bloomin' that!
Bloomin', bloomin', bloomin'!
- Okay, Dag-taggetus! - Bloomin'!
- You stay angry!
[British accent] I want that
bloomin' Coupe de bloomin' Ponde, mate!
- [laughs] Right! - Right!
- ♪
- Come on, Norb.
We all saw Dag kick that cannonball yesterday
and the day before.
You really expect us to be
slicking into playing the two of you again, baby?
- Yeah--[clears throat]--
well, I'm, er, er, um, er, um, er, hem, haw.
- Okay, sold me again. Let's play.
- [cheers]
- CROWD: [cheering]
- Okay, Mr. Angry Soccer Hooligan Doofus Head,
it's game time. Give 'em bloomin' 'eck!
[laughs]
- ♪ La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
- Daggett, is this what an angry British soccer hooligan thingy
normally does at game time? - Hello, love.
Isn't it a calm, lovely, peaceful, calm day?
I think I'll make a lovely flower arrangement.
- And then you're gonna get angry
and kick the ball real hard, right?
- No, I managed to work out all my "a-gray-ssions"
devastating our domicile this morning.
- "A-gray-ssions"?
- Now I am mellow, calm, and at peace.
- [groans in frustration]
- Nasturtium? - Listen, we got a game to play.
You better get angry fast.
- Sorry, no can do, Bro. Too mellow and peaceful.
- Oh, yeah?
Well, let's see how you like this tune.
You're a doofus, see?
Doofus brain head, the doofus head, doofus face, doofus butt,
doof-a-duski, doofusopolis, doofatania, doofus unto others,
maximum overdrive doofus!
- I sense you have issues.
- CROWD: Whoa!
- You and your new non-angry ways disgust me!
Alright, let's play ball, you spootenheimers.
Fine, bring on the game! Show Norbie what you've got!
You'll never be--
Oopf, aah!
- CROWD: [laughing]
- --me. - Listen, Brother Norbert.
I've composed an ode to wildflowers.
- Where did I go wrong?
Was it trying to exploit my brother's emotional distress
for my own personal gain, or was it forgetting
that Daggett is a doofus majorus?!
Hey, don't look now, Walt Witless,
but I think your wildflowers are getting stomped.
- [menacingly] ♪ La, la, la, la, la
[British accent] Get off me bloomin' flowers!
[mutters incoherently]
- Great, now you get angry. - It's like I told you, mate.
Even if we don't wins the game,
we get into a bloomin' fight after it!
Hey, you, ya bloomin' baboons!
You want a piece of me and mate?
Come and get it!
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la
- This isn't-- - [thud]
- NORBERT: Daggett, remind me to k*ll you later.
- [angry shouting]
- ♪
♪
♪♪
03x18 - Nice & Lonely/Soccer? I Hardly Knew Him!
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Revolves around the zany hijinks of Norbert and Daggett Beaver, two young beaver brothers who have moved out of their parents' home to become bachelors in the forest near the fictional Wayouttatown, Oregon.
Revolves around the zany hijinks of Norbert and Daggett Beaver, two young beaver brothers who have moved out of their parents' home to become bachelors in the forest near the fictional Wayouttatown, Oregon.