02x14 - Episode 14

[bunniefuu]

Ok, come on.

Trevor, where are we, please?

You'll see.

Step up here.

Now what?

Take off your blindfold.

Oh, trevor. A picnic...for me?

And we're overlooking the amanda showstage!

How romantic, please.

I thought you might like it.

Oh, I do. But what if your slow-witted father finds us up here?

Aw, he's probably busy doing some important security work.

Security here.

Security here.

[Thump]

Man: ahhhhhhh! My face!

Ah oh!

So what shall we eat, please?

First we have the special alphabet soup.

Special?

Yeah. I took out all of the letters

Except for the as, ms, ns,and ds. This way...

Both: it only spells "amanda".

Oh, trevor. Only you could make soup romantic.

Thanks.

And for dessert...

That looks like amanda's sweet foot!

It is. Made out of green jello.

Oh, trevor. This is the most romantic meal

I'll ever chew, please.

Oh, and I thought we could...share a drink.

With these two straws that I made.

Amanda's head?!

You like?

Like? What's better than a beverage

Sucked through amanda's sweet brain?

Only kissing you.

Barney: hey! What's going on up there?

Oh no, it's my father.

I'll take care, of him, please.

No, penelope, he's my father. But--

Barney: I'm coming up there!

We better get out of here!

But I didn't even get to taste the foot, please.

Thdre'll be other feet to taste. Let's go!

All right. Who's up here?

Come on! My father's probably right behind us!

We run!

Well...ha ha ha ha.

Whoo! Hee...

Mmmmmmm.

This little piggie was eaten by barney.

[Chuckling]

And this little piggie was also eaten by barney.

And this little piggie went "wee, wee, wee..."

Huh...until it was eaten by barney.

♪ A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

My name's amanda, and I declare this month

"National blow off your homework month!"

Wow, you guys are such an amazing audience.

You know what? Give yourselves a hand.

Yeah, you deserve it.

You know know what? While we're at it,

Why not a hand for the rest of the amanda showcast?

[Cheers and applause]

Oh, and let's not forget the dancing lobsters.

[Cheers and applause]

Oh, and what about the camera guys?

Show the camera guys you care.

[Cheers and applause]

You know, when you think about it,

What would our country be without our fine rabbis?

Give it up for the rabbis!

[Cheers and applause]

And you know what? Let's give it up for boxers.

[Cheers and applause]

Wait, not that kind of boxers.

Thesekind of boxers.

[Cheers and applause]

Hi, virgil. Something wrong?

Uh, no, it's just we really need to start the showw.

And we don't have time to applaud for everybody, you know?

How about a hand for our director, virgil fabian!

[Cheers and applause]

Ok, stick around. We'll be back in a sec to do stuff. Whoo!

♪♪♪

Our spitwads are ineffective!

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Holy spit!

What was that?

That was my super spitballer !

You crazy tweens!

Whoa!

Basketball hoop!

Bicycles!

Stop sign!

[Tires squeal]

[Crash]

Yeah! Yeah!

The super spitballer .

Comes with rolls of toilet paper

And a gallon of fresh spit!

Hey, my dad's coming!

Say! What's that thing up there?

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Oh, you kids.

The super spitballer -- from droolco!

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

Hi, and welcome to...

All: the girls' room.

Coming to you today from...

All: the boys' room.

Ok, I'm amber, which you already know,

My being so popular.

[Southern accent] I'm tammy,

I'm an exchange student from tennessee.

And my daddy hunts.

I'm sheila, and I consistently wake up in a bad mood.

Um, debbie's not here right now,

So we're going to start the show without her.

If we hurry, we can finish without her.

Ok, we're in the boys' room today because a pipe broke,

And the girls' room is flooded.

Hi!

Debbie, you're soaking wet!

I went into the girls' room, but you weren't there.

Really?

I'm pretty sure. Want me to go check?

No, we already started the show.

Ohhhhhhhhh.

I like eggs.

Ok, today's topic is "who wore a prettier dress than me

To the dance last week."

Nobody. Nobody.

Hey, look. A waterfall machine.

Debbie, that's not a waterfall machine.

We're in the boys' room.

How come we don't get one of these in the girls' room?

Well...ugh... Never mind.

Anyway, back to my dress--

I told him not to scratch it, but--hey!

Hey, there's girls in here.

This is the boys' room. What are you doing in here?

All: the girls' room...

Live from...

All: the boys' room.

I love the waterfall machine.

It's so romantic.

Oh, for the love of fried pickles,

Can we please get this show on the road?

Yes, let's get back to talking about me--

Uh, we need to do things.

Real bad.

Well, we've got a show to do.

You're going to have to hold it.

In fact, you boys can help us out.

Here's the dress that tina capone wore to the dance.

And here's the dress that I wore.

Isn't mine prettier?

We still have to go.

It's getting worse by the minute.

May i? Please do.

Two for the price of one. Come on, boys.

You can't do this.this is the boys' room.

Boo. [Screaming]

[Splashing]

[Flushing]

[Splashing]

[Flushing]

Aw, you two look prettier than hambones on a biscuit.

Tad, chuck, girls.

Girls?!

What the sam hill is going on in this here lavatory?

Welcome to...

All: the girls' room.

Live from...

All: the boys' room.

And why in blazes are you two fellas

Wearing those frilly dresses?

Those girls made us put them on.

Oh, they forced you, did they? You just watch this.

[Tweet!]

Now listen up!

No, you listen up.

[Whistling]

Ten-hut!

March, soldier!

Double time!

Now into that stall! Move it, move it, move it!

Yes, sir--ma'am!

[Splashing]

[Flushing]

Coach: thank you, may I have another?

Well, that's all the time we have.

Until next time, I'm popular.

I'm from tennessee.

I'm busy.

Both: we have to go!

My fingers are all raisiny.

Man: and clear. Very nice, everybody.

Moving on.

Yo, yo, yo, it's...

Hi, welcome to my jacuzzi.

Today, my special guest is this swiss guy.

So, is it true that you're a swiss guy?

[In american accent] yes, I'm swiss.

Uh-huh, and when you say you're swiss,

I @me you're meaning you're from switzerland.

That's right.fair enough.

Now is it also true you have a small dwarf named carmine

Living in your bladder?

No. There's no dwarf in my bladder.

I see. Well, how about a plate of spaghetti?

Fine.

Announcer: that was...

Yo, yo, yo.

Bye-bye.

I'm swiss!

So class, when you multiply

Both sides of the equation by the square root of --

All right, listen up, I'm looking for my girl, candy tulips.

He's looking for his girl, candy tulips.

What's that for?

For bein' an idiot.

Ok. All right, so where's candy?

Who are you?

Tony pajamas.

Well, look here, mr. Pajamas--

Pa-jah-mas, and I suggest you tell me where candy is

Before I become aggravated.or irritated.

Well, candy is late as usual.

Tony, what are you doin' here?

Yeah, what are you doin' here?

You know why we're here.

I know why we're here.

Hush up, paulie.

Okay.

We need to talk.what about?

I hear things.what things do you hear?

Things. Things?

Things.

Excuse me. This is a classroom and I am trying to teach.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I think the principal needs to see you there.

The principal doesn't need to see me.

Oh, uh...i, uh...

Think he does.

Oh, thatprincipal.

I'll be back in minutes.

Half-hour.

Uh, minutes.

All right, so what's this I hear

About you hangin' out with another guy?

You don't own me, tony.

What?!

She said you don't own her.

Hey, I got ears.

He's got ears.

So who you been goin' out with?

What's it to ya?

I axed a question.

Look, I can date anyone I wanna.

Maybe I'm datin' claude here.

Claude!claude?

No, no, I'm not going out with her. I-i'd never date candy.

Why? What's wrong with her?

Yeah, what's wrong with her?

Yeah, what's wrong with me?

[Shrieks]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

[Thump]

All right, candy. I ain't playin' games here.

I hear you was at the mall with another guy.

And what if I was?

[Car screeching to a halt outside]

[Car doors shutting]

Tony, it's the al dente brothers!

They got meatballs!

Everybody down!

Tony! Look out!

Candy, you-- you stopped the meatball.

You saved my life.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Paws off.

But i--i don't understand.

Don't cha get it?

I love ya, tony.

Then why was you at the mall with another guy?

That was no guy. That was paulie.

Paulie?!

Gentle! Gentle! Gentle!

Oh! Oh!

We was buyin' you a canoli.

Why didn't you tell me?

[Wordless mouthing]

I ate the canoli. What?

I ate the canoli!

What's that for?!for eatin' my canoli.

Ok.

Candy, i--

Hey, could I get a little privacy here?

Now!

Uh, huh-huh. Ok.

It's time for a...

Hey-hey! Uh, knock-knock.

Who's there?

Sports bra. Sports bra who?

I wanna hit you in the head with a sports bra.

Huh huh huh, that was a good one.

Yep.

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

Excuse me. Yes, please?

What are you doing?

I'm offering a $ reward

To anyone who brings me amanda.

You can't put wanted posters up around here.

Says you.

I think you should listen to me because--

I have my own amanda website, you know.

Www.amandaplease.com. Yeah?

View it.

Www.amandaplease.com.

See my homepage?

Currently I'm offering a new feature called ask penelope,

Where you can read my answers

To your actual e-mailed questions, please.

For example, here's a query from a person.

Dear penelope. Question:

"Why do you always wear the same clothes?"

Answer: I don't. I have outfits.

All identical, please.

And since I know I look good this way, why change, please?

You can also find out answers to other questions like,

"Where do you get your glasses?"

And, "if you love amanda so much,

Why don't you dress like her?"

You can find out the answers by logging onto amandaplease.com.

Please.

Well, isn't my website spectacular?

It is an amazing website.

How were you able to do that part where you just--

Hey, I thought I told you you can't put these signs up!

Security!

Look, all I'm trying to do is meet amanda, please.

Is that so wrong?!

Hey! Hands off the merchandise, please!

Why do it?

Where are you taking me?

Hey, nancy. Where's that girl?

Oh, the one offering the reward for amanda?

Yeah.security took her away.

Aw, man, I wanted the hundred bucks.

Hundred bucks?

You were gonna trade amanda for a hundred bucks?

No, no.

You gonna hurt me?

Thinkin' about it.

[Dialing]

[Ringing]

The earth minus children equal happier times.

Hello!

Thank you for calling.

Your credit card will now be charged.

My credit card? But I didn't buy anything!

You called me!

That'll be $, sir.

$! For what?

For english, press . For japanese, press .

But I don't speak the japanese!

Then press .

Oh, I don't wanna press any--all right.

[Beep]

There, I pressed the button number.

What do I do now? Where's the english?

[Speaking japanese]

I tell ya, I don't understand the sounds of japan!

You have the wrong number!

[Speaking japanese]

Oh, doh...

[Beep beep beep beep beep]

I pressed more buttons. Now will you please speak-a the english?

For potato salad, press your nose and say "beep".

But--well, I do enjoy the potato salad.

Beep!

There, I pressed my nose and beeped at ya.

Where's my potato salad?

It's a type of salad, sir, with potatoes.

Oh, I know what potato salad is.

I just don't have any for to consume.

What color is the inside of your head?

I don't know! It's dark inside my head.

Hello?

Your credit card has been charged another $.

But I don't have $!

I buy cheese in large blocks.

Good night. Good night.

But I'm scared to go to sleep alone.

Hello? You have the wrong number.

Hello? Oh, the number you dialed is inaccurate.

Hello? What happened to hall and oates?

[Cheers and applause]

Thank you, guys.

Thank you. I had the best time doing the show tonight

And I really want to thank you guys.

You guys have been a great audience and I had a really good time--

Um, hello.

[Clears throat] gimme your purse.

Excuse me?

Gimme your purse! This is a robbery. Come on. Seriously.

I'm sorry, but you can't rob me.

We're on television.

All right. Purse. Now. Come on.

I'm sorry. I don't have a purse.

What do you have then?

Money, jewelry, lotion, something.

I don't have anything.

I'll bet that camera's worth a lot.

You can't take the camera. I need it to finish the show.

[Sarcastically] I care!

I'm taking it!

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, come back with that!

Ok, that's our show.

I gotta go apprehend this criminal. See ya!

♪♪

♪♪

Amanda, please.