03x09 - You Dirty Rat

[bunniefuu]

Hello.

You know, we're
gonna do it again.

Whoo!

Wow!

Good evening, ladies
and gentlemen.

My name is kenan...

[Loud cheering]

Thank you very much.

And last time I checked,

My name was kel.

[Cheering]

Thank you.
Thank you.

Whoo!

Turn it up!

Man, I am really excited
about tonight's show.

Yeah, man, me, too, you know,
especially the ending--

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Don't tell the end
of the show, man.
It's a surprise.

I know. Who would ever
suspect that me and you--

No!

You were about
to tell the end
of the show again.

Oh, all right.

Well, I won't tell
the ending of the show.

Thank you.

All I'll say is that me
and kenan find the money,

And we rescue
the elephants.

Aw!

Kel!

Man, you just gave away
the ending of the show!

No, I didn't.

Now we gotta do
a whole different show.

Well, do we still find
the money?

Probably not,
thanks to you.

Aw, come on, kel.

Let's go find out
what tonight's show
is about.

[Blows] pfft!

Kenan!

W-well, can't we just
do the old show?

Kenan, who's gonna rescue
the elephants?

Kenan!

Prrlh!

Aw, here it goes!

Chris, could you grab me
some ketchup, please?

Sure, right away!

Oh, here you go!

Sorry I took so long.

I hope my working
didn't interfere
with your notworking!

I'm working.
I'm working on
my sandwich.

Euw! You're making
a peanut butter

And ketchup sandwich?

No, I'm making
a peanut butter,
ketchup,

And bolognasandwich!

Hey, guys.

Oh, good, charla,
you're here.

Could you grab me
some bologna,
please?

No.

Boy, do I have to do
everything around here?

Hey, everybody!
Ooh, sandwich!

Ooh, peanut butter
and ketchup!

Hey, hey, hey!
Don't eat that!

You're right.
It needs bologna.

Yeah. What's
a peanut butter
and ketchup sandwich

Without bologna?

Hey, you took a bite
out of my sandwich.

No, I didn't.

Look. Right here--bite!

Hey, it looks like someone
nibbled out of this apple.

A whole bunch of these
have been nibbled.

Someone took a bite
out of this candy bar.

And this bologna
has been nibbled too.

That's odd.
It's like someone's
been going around the store

Taking itsy bitsy bites
out of things

And then putting them back.

Man, what kind
of person takes
itsy bitsy bites
out of stuff?

I mean, you would think
they would take bigger bites.

Kenan?

You know, they probably
took small bites

Thinking that we
wouldn't notice.

I don't think
that's the reason.

Ha ha. But not
kenan rockmore.

I notice everything.

Kenan?!

Not now, kel.

I'm just trying to see

What kind of a...

Aaagggghhhhhh! A rat!

I bet that rat has
something to do

With all the bites
in the food!

I'm telling y'all,
that rat was huge!

It was bigger than a cow!

Enough about
the rat, kenan.
We're eating.

He had these old beady eyes
like this.

And then he had
these nasty fangs like...

Please, kenan!

And it had a nasty,
slimy tail

That was slithering
all around!

Kind of like
the spaghetti.

Done!

Done!

It was huge!

Huge, I tell you!
I mean, it was

Like this big...
This big!

Hey, rockmores!

Both: hi, kel.

Ooh! Let me...

Hey. Hey, kenan.
Did you tell
your parents

About the cute,
furry little mouse
we saw at rigby's?

It wasn't a cute,
furry little mouse!

It was a big nasty,
enormous, mangy rat!

Kenan, I reckon it was
about, what, this big?

Kenan, now, are you scared
of a little bitty rat?!

Oh, leave kenan alone.

It's not his fault
that he's a wimp!

Oh, yeah, laugh it up.

O.k., I will.

Mouse! Eek! Eek! Eek!

Hey, pop.

What?

Got a ladybug
on your shoulder.

What?! Get it off!
Get it off!

Whoo!

That'll be $ . .

All right.
Is there a reason

You're standing
on the counter?

No. Just love heights.

Wait a minute.
I thought you were
on the counter

Because you were
scared of that rat.

R-r-rat?!
Aaaaggghhhhhh!

Aaaaggggghhhhhhhhhh!

Aaaagggggghhhhhh!

Kenan: way to go, kel.

Kenan, why don't you get down
from the counter?

We haven't seen the rat
in days.

Oh, you think I'm up here
because of that rat?

Ha ha. Silly girl.

Oh, please, kenan.

I've never seen anyone
so scared.

Oh, yeah?
Well, you're mistaken,
and I'll tell you why.

Because it takes a lot more
than a furry little animal

To scare kenan rockmore.

I mean, here's fear, right,
and here's me.

Look at all this space
between fear and me.

How's that? Fear...me.
Fear...me.

Fear....rat!

Aaagggghhhhh!

The rat is back!
The rat is back.

Yeah!

Not "yeah."
It's a rat.

I felt it.
It felt all ratty!

Now, how did that go again?

It was kenan and then fear,
and kenan and fear and...

Aaaggghhhhhhhh!

It'd be wonderful
if you stopped that.

Here, rat, rat, rat.

Here, rat.
Hey, rat, where're you at?

Hey, rat,
where're you at?

At?

Excuse me. Did you just say
"here, rat"?

No, no, no. That's not
what he said.

That's not even close.

The boy said "chair mat,
chair mat."

Both: chair mat?

Yes, the boy said chair mat.

Chair mat. Mat.

Chair mat.

Kenan?what?

Kenan, there's a chair mat
in that woman's head.

What?

The rat! The rat!

Can I please have
some help here?

Aw, yeah. We'll be
with you in just a sec.

What are we gonna do?!

I don't know.
Let's see...

What did I do
the last time

There was a rat stuck
in somebody's head?

Oh, that's right.
It's never happened before!

O.k. Don't panic,
don't panic!

O.k. Let me think.
Um...we do nothing!

What?!

Yeah. We do nothing,

And when she leaves
the store,

She'll take the rat
with her.

Hey, ma'am.

I'd like to buy...

Watch yourself,
watch yourself!

Don't worry about those.
I'll get 'em.

You--you--you
just stand there
completely upright.

On second thought,
why don't you
just go?

What about
my groceries?

Oh, no , no, no!
They're free.

Go ahead, take them.

You can keep
the basket, too.
Look at that.
All right, bye.

Kenan! There's the rat!

Aaaaaaggggghhhh!

Let go of that
woman's hair!

Aw, man, all the groceries
are on the floor.

The rat!

Thanks a lot, kel.

Y-you know what?

I--i don't think
you should thank me.

I think I really
messed up that time.

Where do you think
it went?

Thank you, mr. Rhinoceros.

Yes, I would like
a back rub.

[Weakly] help!

Help!

Somebody help me.

Chris, the rat is back!

Ya think?

Don't panic.
I'll get the rat
off you.

Good! Good.
Now, gently sweep

The rat off me...

Gently.

Gotcha.

What are you doing?

I'm k*lling the rat!

Noooooooo!

Man! Don't k*ll the rat!
Don't hurt him!

That was the idea!

I think you missed him.

Aw, man, the rat
is getting away.

Run, wendall!
Run like the wind, wendall!

Wendall?
Y-you named
the rat wendall?

Huh?

Ow!

Oh, I'm sorry, chris.

Ow!

I said I'm sorry.

Well, that does it.

I'm calling
an exterminator.

Wait a minute.
He said he was sorry.

You don't have
to exterminate kenan.

I'm not
exterminating kenan.

I'm exterminating
the rat.

No, that's worse!

Aw, wendall?!

Wendall, get outta here
while you still got
the chance, wendall!

Why y'all gotta
hurt wendall?!

Kel, stop being
such a baby, man.

We gotta get rid
of that rat,

And k*lling it
is the only way.

Aw, chris, do we have
to k*ll wendall?

Oh, now you're
calling him wendall?

Charla, wendall is a rat,
therefore he must die.

Well, you definitely
got yourself a rat.

Come on, man.
Don't k*ll wendall!

Could someone please
get him offa me?

Kel, release
the exterminator.

Wendall k*ller!

O.k.

Now, I set a few
of these traps

In the back room.

Now, the rat comes
for the cheese,
and then...

[Loud snapping]

Ooh!

Bam.

Oh, yeah.

How long do you think
it'll take before
you get him?

That depends on how
smart the rat is.

I'll be back first thing
in the morning

To check those traps.

Ugh!

If the traps
don't get him...

I got other ways.

Man, those cheese traps
aren't gonna work.

That rat is way
too smart

To fall
for that old trick.

[Traps snapping]

Damn! I wanted something
to eat.

Aaggghh!

Aaaggghhhh!

[Thud]

Kenan, do we have
to k*ll wendall?

Yes. Now go to bed.

Well, w-w-what if you
were a rat

And someone wanted
to hurt you?

Let's see.

I'm not a rat,
never been a rat,

And have no plans
to become a rat.

So, good night, kel.

Good night...

Rat hater!

Hmm, smells like cheese.

[Bumps trap]

Oops!

Well, that's odd.

Kel: don't touch
the cheese!

Huh? What?

Don't touch the cheese.
It's a trap!

W-w-what is going on
out here?

Whiskers!

I got a tail!

Aaagggghhhhh!

Oh, man. I'm a rat!

There he is!
He didn't fall
for the trap!

Get him!!

I see him.

Ha ha ha!

Spray him!
k*ll him dead!

Aaagghhh! Help!

Help!

Ooohhhhh!

What did I ever
do to you?!

Ha ha ha ha.

[Spray hisses]

[Coughing]

Oh, don't spray!

Don't spray the spray.

Don't spray the spray.

Oh, help.

Why am I wet?!

You were having
a nightmare,

So I threw a glass of water
on you to wake you up.

Couldn't you think
of a better way
to wake me up?

Never mind.

Oh, it was awful!

I was dreaming that
I was a rat, right?

And everybody was
trying to k*ll me.

Mm-hmm!

Just like wendall.

Now you know
how wendall feels.

You know what, kel?

You're right.

Man, wendall's
just a harmless
little rat.

He doesn't
deserve to die.

Matter of fact,
no rat deserves
to die.

From this moment
forward,

I will dedicate my life
to make sure

That no harm
comes to any
other rat again.

Ever!

Yay!

Come on, kel.

We gotta to get
to that exterminator

Before he
exterminates
wendall.

Very good.
That'll be . .

Uh...you're never gonna
shop here again, are you?

Nope.

You are
in so much trouble.

Agh!

Have you caught
the rat yet?!

No. He just scared off
another customer.

Wendall's alive!

♪ He's alive, he's alive,
he's alive, he's alive ♪

Why is that
a good thing?

Because we want
wendall to live!

Yeah, you gotta call off
that exterminator.

No! I just can't
have a rat loose
in the store.

Please! Just give us a chance
to catch wendall

Without hurting him.

I don't know.

Both: oh, please,
please, please, please!

All right, all right,
all right!

Just one chance.

If you don't catch the rat
by the end of the day,

I'm calling
in the exterminator.

Thanks a lot.

Great, man.

♪ Wendall lives

The end
of the day.

All right. Cool.

Now all we gotta do
is catch wendall

And safely remove him
from the store.

Cool.

Yeah.

How're we gonna do that?

O.k. Now, as soon
as he goes to get
that piece of cheese,

I'll pull the string,
the box falls down,

And ta-da! Wendall
is trapped safely.

Is it cheddar cheese?
Because wendall doesn't
like cheddar cheese.

What? What you
talking...

Oh, look.

Now!

We got him.

What'll we do now?get him.

Oh, I gotcha! I gotcha!

Did you get it?yeah.

What do you two plan
on doing with that dog?

We're gonna
scare wendall out
of the store.

As soon as wendall hears a peep
out of this big old mean dog,

Man, he's gonna wanna
get as far away from
the store as possible.

Hey, there's wendall.

Scare him, boy.yeah, boy.

[Whimpering]

What you doing? Ow!

There. They're all set.

Now all we have to do

Is wait for that rat
to come in here

And get stuck
on these sticky
squares of paper,

Then we'll take
that stuck rat
outside

And set him free.

Kenan?

How are we supposed
to get out of here?

I don't know.

Kel, wait, wait,
wait a second!

Should we take kel
out of the store
and set him free?

Hi, guys.

All: hi, chris.

Well, I can tell
from your cheery faces

That you haven't
caught the rat.

No. We tried,
but he's just
too crafty.

You can't say I didn't
give you your chance.

Tomorrow morning
the exterminator will come,

And he'll have
to eliminate the rat.

Oh! Wendall's gonna
be social studies.

No, kel, that's history.
Wendall's going to be
history.

Oh, yeah.
I knew it was one
of those subjects.

Sorry about this, guys.

I'll see you in the morning.

Ugh!

What is that smell?!

Oh, well,
we had a dog in here
a little while ago,

And it had
a little accident.

Wonderful.
Rats and doggy odor.

Bring on the customers.

Wait a minute!

What if it smelled
really bad in here?

Kenan, it doessmell
really bad in here.

No! I mean reallybad...

So bad that no one
can stand the stench,
not even a rat.

I see where you're going
with this.

Oh!

Kel, we're gonna make it
smell so bad in here

That it drives the rat away
from the store.

Nothing personal, guys,

But there's a plan I want
nothing to do with.

Come on, kel.
We're gonna set off
a stink b*mb.

Heh heh heh.

O.k. This is it, kel,
our final chance.

I've got the stink b*mb.

[Sniffing]

Doesn't smell to me.

It doesn't
smell yet, genius.

You gotta pull
the strip down

And bang it
on something,

And then let
the stink begin.

Oh, yeah! Whoo!

W-what's with the cage?

Well, I figured if we catch
wendall before he runs out,

Maybe I could
put him in this cage
and keep him as a pet.

Wonderful. All right.

Now put
your face mask on.
We're gonna set
this baby off.

Ready?

Ready.

Here we go.

There.

See anything?

No.

Wait. I see him.

Boy, is he close.

Kel?kenan?

There's a rat
in my helmet!

Aaaagggghhhhh!

What are you doing?!

I got him!

Put him in the cage!

There you go.

Oh!

Isn't he cute?

What are you guys
still doing here?

I just came back to--
what happened here?!

Why are you wearing those--
what is that smell?!

[Inhaling]

We caught the rat.

Thank you.

Whoo!

Aaaagghhhhh!

Hey, hey! Did you all enjoy
the television program?

[Cheers and applause]

All right.

Yeah.

Whoo!

So we caught the rat.

Uh-huh. And I got
a new pet.

How is wendall doing?

Oh, I got him right here.

Kel?

Hmm?

The cage is empty.

Wendall's gone!

You left the cage door
wide open.

Well, I know.

I left it open so wendall
could get some air.

The cage
has plenty of...

And he can still
breathe without...

Oh, I don't even
know where to begin.

Where do you
think he went?

Woman: aaaaagggggghhhhhhh!

I think I know.

Sorry, audience members.

We'll take care
of that rat pronto.

Kel, grab
some cheddar cheese,
some swiss cheese,

And some macaroni
and cheese,

And meet me
in the audience.

[People in audience screaming]

And hurry!

B-b-but, kenan?

Is it cheddar cheese?

'Cause I told you wendall
doesn't like cheddar cheese.

Kenan?!

[Audience screaming]

Oh, well.

Aw, here it goes!

Why?!