03x11 - Present Tense

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into some more fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ Kenan and kel, or should
I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot ♪

♪ To make it
to the top ♪

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ Because they're all
the same call ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like sigfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here it go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪♪

Captioning made possible by
nickelodeon
and u.s. Department of education

Wow, thank you. Wow.

Welcome to
another half hour

Of the kenan
and kelprogram.

I would be kenan.

Woo!

And I guess
that would
make me kel.

Wooh! Ow!

Now tonight's show
is a real humdinger.

Let me tell, it was a--
hum--

Kel, what
are you doing?

Eating
a corn dog.

But you can't just
come out here
and eat a corn dog
during the opening.

Why?
What's wrong with it?

Well, I mean,
first of all
it's rude.

And did you bring
enough corn dogs
for everybody?

Why, yes.

Yes, I did.

What the--

Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Oh, it's kind of heavy.

Ah. Hey!

Corn dogs, anybody?

Audience: yeah!

Yeah!

Doo-bee-doo-bee
doo-doo-doo.
Corn dogs for you!

Grab them quick.
All right,
they're goin' fast!

All right, corn dogs.

Corn dog, corn dog,
corn dog, corn dog...

[Kids screaming]

Excuse me, uh, kel.

Could you come back
over here for a second, please?

What? You want
a corn dog?

No! Well,
yeah, but...

Ah, no!

Man, would you
forget about giving
out corn dogs
for a second?

I mean, you go out there
with a lot of giving
in tonight's show.

Now come on, twiggy!
That's right,
you're always giving.

Kenan! What does
tonight's episode
have to do with giving?

Kenan! What am I
going to do with
all these corn dogs!

Kenan!

Ah, here it goes!

[Applause]

Hey, kenan.
Are you open?

Yeah.

Whoa! Sodas.
Ah! Oh yeah.

Kenan!

You know it's only
more days until
your birthday.

I know.
I know when
my birthday is.

I thought that
since I'm not
going to see you

Until after your
birthday, maybe I'd give
you your present now.

Oh, well, bring it on.
Gimme, come on, come on.

Give it to me.
Give it to me.

Here it is.

It's a pen!

Well, thank you.

And now I'll open it
and try to act
surprised or something.

Oh, look at that.
It's a pen!

It's a talking pen.

A talking pen?

Uh, yeah.
Give it a listen-y.

Electronic voice from pen:
time to write!

Wha-well, this
is really different.

Time to write!

I knew you'd
love it.

Whoa!

Whoa, I mean whoa
with a capital wha!

Oh, man!

Time to write!

Time to write!

Time to-time to write!
Time to write, time to write!

Time to write, time to write,
time to write! Time to write!

Gimme that pen!thank you.

Pen:
time to write!

Time to write!

Kel, can I have
my pen back, please?

This isn't
your pen.

I bought
my own.

Time to
write!

Boys!

Kenan, we're
going on our walk.

Time to write!
Time to write!
Time to write!

You guys
have fun.

Birthday tomorrow.

Relax, kenan,
we already got you
a birthday present.

Time to
write!

A what?!

Wh-is my birthday
coming up?

Time to write!

Oh, boy, please.

Time to write!
Time to write!

You know,
this year,

You just might be
getting the best
present ever!

Time to write!

Time to write!

Time to write!

Pen, in squeaky voice:
time to write!

See you, boys.

He threw my pen!
Ahh! Ahh!

Never mind about
the pen, man.

Did you hear what
he just said?

What!

He said that this year
I might be getting
the best present ever!

Let's go find it!

My pen!

Here, gift!

I'll find you.

You can hide
all you want to.

You can't
hide forever.

Your daddy
bent my pen.

Pen, in slower
voice: time to
write...to write.

Will you stop
playing with that
pen and help me
find my gift!

All right!

Hey, try not
to make a mess.

Hey!

Aaa!

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

What!

What are
you doing?

The idea is to make
it look like we
were never in here.

Oh.

Let me see.

Ah! The closet.

Ah!

Wrapping paper.
I think I'm
getting closer.

I found it!

Oh, you did, you did?
What is it?

I don't know!

Ooh, ooh, maybe
it's a puppy.

Oh, no, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Maybe it's ice cream.

Oh, yeah. I know.
Thousand island dressing!

Kel, please.
Stop guessing me.

All right, all right.

Wow. The best
gift ever.

I gotta know
what's inside there.

Well, you'll
find out tomorrow.

No! I'm gonna
find out now!

Now?
Yeah, sure.

I'll just tear
the top open
and then look in
and see what it is

And then wrap
it back up.

Wow, you could
do that?

All right.
Sure. Watch.

Ohh!

What is it?
What is it?
What is it?

It's, uh, it's...

Why, it's
one of them lame
snow globe things.

Aah! Man.
Hey, you're lucky, man.
First the pen,
now this. Whoa!

This is the
best gift ever?

Hey, hey, you said it!
Wait, look, look,
look, look.

It's just a normal
cow, sitting in
the field.

Minding his
own business.

Moo!

Moo!

Then...

Look! It's all
snowy inside!

Cold cow! Cold cow!

Cold cow! Moo!

All right, all
right, all right.

Time to stop
playing with
the awful gift.

Man, I gotta
wrap it back--

Ok, I'm done.

Aw, kel!

Look what
you did!

Well, this wouldn't
have happened if you
hadn't been so nosy.

I'm sorry.
Did you say something?

No!

Oh, man,
we gotta do
something quick!

Ok, we have to
buy another snow globe

And wrap it back up.

Yeah, but what if
your parents get back
and see the present's
not there?

Oh, well, we're
going to have to
wrap up something
else in the meantime.

Ok, we're going to
need something kind
of identical in weight
to the snow globe.

Identical!

Ooh!

How about
this bowling ball?

Good suggestion.
Oh, no.

I meant awful,
horrible suggestion!

Oh, yeah!
My daddy's baseball.

This is perfect.

Well, what is
your daddy doing
with a baseball on
his dresser?

It's signed by
babe ruth.

What?
Ah, for real?

Hey, it's worth
like a lot of
money.

I mean, my grandpa
gave it to my dad
when he was a kid.

Aw, when your
grandpa was a kid?

No, when my dad
was a kid,
blockhead!

Whoo! Snow globes!

Hi!

Welcome to
just snow globes.

I'm beth.

Hi, beth.

I need a snow globe
with a cow in it, quick.

Whoa, kenan.
Look.

Here's one
with a lemon
in it.

Just a lemon!

Oh, the lemon
globe is one
of my favorites!

Kenan, get the one
with the lemon!

Get the one
with the lemon!

No, I don't need
the one with
the lemon!

Whoa. Look at that.

The mother of
all snow globes!

Aah! Aah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ah-ah-ah--

Um, beth,
about the cow...

Oh, the cow.
Big seller!

I think we have one
left. It should be
right over there.

Thanks.

Careful with that!

Ah, there it is.

Oh, look!

Now, it's just
a normal cow,

Sitting in
the field minding
his own business.

Moo! Moo!

And now it's all
snowy inside!

Cold cow, cold cow!

Whoo!

I just gotta have this!

Uh, no-no-no-no.

Sure, I do.you don't want
that one.

No-no-no-no.
You want, um...ah,
look at the clown!

You see that?
Look at the clown.
He's just sitting
in there.

You don't even have
to shake him but it's
still comedy inside.

Don't you want
that one instead?

Uh...no, I think
I want the cow.

[Muffled]
help! Kenan! Help!

Kel!

I told you to
be careful with that!

All right, well,
I got to go.

Come on, kel.
We gotta go and do our thing.

[Screaming]

[Glass breaks]

Hey, kenan!

How come you
didn't switch
the snow globe
with the baseball?

Shh!

Because, man, my
parents are still home.

I'm just waiting
on them to leave again.

Let's just get
this over with.

Oh, roger,
calm down!

You guys
leaving soon?

Oh, yes, we're
going over to your
uncle louie's.

Uncle louie? But
I thought you all
hated each other.

We do!

But, being the mature
adults we are,

We thought we'd
go over there and,
you know, finally
patch things up.

Yeah. We had
to buy him this
stupid gift.

It's a snow globe.

No, it's not.

Uh-uh, guys.

Uh, why'd you all
have to give
uncle louie a gift?

I mean, you know,
can't you all just go
on hating each other?

Come on, roger.

No, no, wait,
hold on a minute.

Uh, why don't
you just leave
the gift here?

What?!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, leave
the gift here and then you
go over and tell louie,

Then you patch, patch, patch,
patch things up,
and then you come back
over here

And then get
the gift and then
bring it back to him?

Kenan, you're not
making any sense.

I know.

Good-bye!

Ohh.

And we're not staying
any longer than
we have to.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Your daddy thinks
he's giving your
uncle a cheap
snow globe.

But he's really
giving him his
treasured baseball!

Ha ha ha! Signed
by babe ruth! Ooh!

That's a hoot
and a holler!

Are you aware
of how much
that isn't funny?

Maybe.

Ah! We gotta think of
something quick.

Oh, ok. We have
to wrap our
snow globe up

And then switch it with
the baseball before
uncle louie opens it.

Man, you should
have never opened
that present.

Oh, really?
You think!

Oh! Ooh!

I'm sorry about
your stomachache,
roger.

Maybe the next
time you could
stay longer.

I'm glad we're
friends again.

Oh, yeah.
Me, too.

Come on, let's
get you home to bed.

Well, my stomach is suddenly
feeling better.

What do you say we
go get some ice cream?

Now remember,

I'll distract
uncle louie while you
switch the presents.

I'm right on it.

Well, it sure
was nice of them
to come over here.

No, it wasn't.

Mm-hmm.i can do without
the both of them.

Uh, shelma,
would you move
or check 'em?

I just moved,
you old bat!

Oh! You done
stuff it, you crow!

I wonder what
they got me.

Probably
something crappy!

[Knocking at door]

Now who could that be?

Kenan! What
are you doing here?

Hey, uncle louie,
long time no see.

What's up?

Do you remember your
father's great-aunts,
shelma and belinda?

They don't look
all that
great to me.

Would you move?

Oh, I'll move.
I'll move my foot
into your gut!

You're just in time.
I was just about to
open a present your
parents gave me.

Oh, but before you
do that, why don't
we come over here

Away from the gift?

Well, why are we
over here?

Well, I just...
I just wanted to
see something.

What?

Um...ah! This
trash can.

Well, why would
you want to see
a trash can?

Well, because, um...
Because...because, uh--

Oops!

Kel, hurry up!

Eh-eh-eh-eh...

Finished!

Wow! What happened?

You dropped a trash
can on my head!

Ah. Well, we got to
do a little marketing,
now, uncle louie.

I gotta go now.
You take it easy.
Peace!

Enjoy your present!but you just got here!

Bye, shelma and belinda.

Punks!

I don't know.
The one with
the hat was
kind of cute.

Hello.

Hello?
Mama? Daddy?

Good! They're
not here.

Whoo!

Now all we gotta
do is put my
daddy's baseball

Back up
on his dresser.

Boy, he'll never
even know it was
missing now.

I'm telling you,
that was a close one...

Why am I holding
the snow globe?

Aw, you know what?
I must have accidentally
not switched the presents.

Bad!

Kel!

That's really,
really bad, man.

Ah, I know!

Hey, parents!

How did
everything go
at uncle louie's?

Oh, just fine.
We're all
friends again.

I pretended I
had a stomachache.

Ha, ha.
That's great.

[Knock at door]

Kenan--

Heh, heh! You all wanna
go out the back door?

Who was
at the door?

Nobody.
Now plus
is what again?

Uncle louie?

I just opened
that gift that
you got me and I just

Had to come over
and thank you in person.

Whuh-oh.

Oh, well,
you're welcome.

I mean,
it is the nicest,
most generous...

Thoughtful gift
I've ever received.

Hey, y'all want
to have a see
what's on tv?

I just don't
know what to say.

Don't say anything.
Just go.

How can I ever
repay you?

Uh, uncle louie,
it was nothing, really.

I'm gonna display
your gift where
everybody can see it!

It's my proudest
possession!

What--oh,
uncle louie, I guess
you have to be going.

I'll be over to see
you in another
years or so.

I love you guys.

Ha-ha. All right.

What a kook, huh?

You know,

I've never seen someone
get so excited over
a cow snow globe.

It only cost $ .

Oh, I just
remembered. Uh, kel,

You and I left
our donkey in the kitchen.

Oh, man.
We gotta think
of something.

Ok, now we can't ask
uncle louie for
the ball back now,

But what if we...
No...oh!

What?
Hey, kenan!

Where's the donkey
we left in here?

No, no, don't
do that, oh!

Wait, he ran away?

Well, maybe we
can catch him.

Donkey! Donkey!
Come on, donkey,
come back!

We love you, donkey!

Donkey, please!

Donkey!

Oh, man.
Gotta think
of something.

Come on, man.
I'm good at this.

I'll be thinking
of something.

Aah! Donkey!

Kenan, I got it.

All we gotta do
is have babe ruth
sign another ball.

Well, that just
might work.

Except babe ruth
is dead!

Babe ruth is dead?

Babe ruth is dead!

Ah, no!

Not the babe!

Aah! [Sobbing]

Wait a second!

Why can't we just
get another baseball

And sign babe ruth's
name ourselves?

Yeah.
Come on, kel.

Ahh.

First the donkey
ran away,

Then babe ruth
d*ed and--

Oh, no. I'm stuck! Ow!

[Whispering]
man, it's
dark in here.

Turn the
light on.

I'm sorry.

Don't turn on
the light!

Shh.

Hey, kenan.

What?

Let me see
the ball!
No.

Come on, let me
see the ball.
No!

I mean it, man,
take the ball--

Look what you did!

I'll get it.

[Whispering]
got it!

[In strangling tone]
help!

Aah! Aah!

Stop leggin' me!

Talking pen,
alternately slow and fast:
time to write!

Time to write!

Time to write! Time to write!
Time to write! Time to write!
Time to write! Time to write!

Time to write! Time to write!
Time to write! Time to write!

Time to write! Time to write!
Time to write! Time to write!

Kenan!

Do you know
what time it is?

Time to write?

Ah, ah-- , ,
, , --

Ah, : ?

Kel, he didn't
really want to
know what time it was.

Why are you
boys in here?

Ah-ah! It's
now officially
my birthday.

Yeah, you know,
after midnight
and stuff.

Ah! Happy birthday!

Uh, kenan...

What do you say
we celebrate your
birthday a little later?

When we wake up!

Oh, yeah, sure
thing, mama.

Now go to bed.

All right.

Whoo!

I am kinda tired.

Oh! Whoo!

Gotta get the beauty sleep.

Whoo!

Sleep, sleep, sleep...

Kel!

Get out
of our bed!

Aw, all right!

Ok!

[Laughter]

Hey! A shoe!

Thanks, kel.hey-hey!

Hey, this'll go
nicely with the
one shoe you gave
me last year.

Uh, kel, it took
you years to
give kenan one
pair of shoes?

Hey, those
were expensive shoes!

Bring on the best
gift ever!

Oh, ok, ok.
Here it is!

Ah, give me it.

Get ready!
Come on,
give me that.
Give me the gift!

Inside this bag...

Is the greatest
gift given...

Just give him the
gift, roger, before
his next birthday.

Why must you
tease me?

Ok.

Ah, the greatest
gift ever.

Oh, wonder what
could be inside.

Let's see.

Ohh!

Uh...your
babe ruth ball, huh.

You giving
this to me?

Oh, dad...
Oh, my gosh!

My father gave it
to me, and now...

I'm passing it on
to you, son.

Uh, thanks.

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Whoo, isn't
that something!

Isn't that ironic?
Don't you think!

Aw, look, roger.
Kenan is so happy,
he's crying.

I can't believe this.

This is
the greatest
gift ever.

Happy birthday!