04x02 - The Honeymoon's Over

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into some more fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ Kenan and kel, or should
I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot
to make it to the top ♪

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ Because they're all
the same call ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like sigfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪

[Loud cheers and applause]

Oh, yes! Thank you!

Man, I can't tell y'all
how much we appreciate

Y'all comin'
down to the show.

And by the way,
my name is kenan.

Go on. Go on
and clap loud.
All right!

[Loud cheers and applause]

Yeah! Whoo!

And I happen to be kel.

[Loud cheers and applause]

Whoo!

And I hope
y'all are prepared
to enjoy yourself

Like you have never
enjoyed yourself before

Because tonight
we got a show full
of exciting surprises,

I'm trying to tell you.

No, no, no.
Wait a minute, kenan.

Now, when you say
"exciting surprises",

Are you just using
a euphemism to obscure
the fact

That we're going to get
into a lot of trouble?

Well, kel,
I mean, you know,
I'll tell you,

But it's supposed
to be a secret,

So I'm going to have
to whisper it to you.

Ok. Yeah, yeah.
Go ahead, man.

Are you happy?

No, you didn't
say anything!

You just pretended
to whisper in my ear.

You were like
[ffsp ffsp ffsp ffsp].

I'm sorry. I'm not
a very good whisperer.

Ok.

Well, can I get a clue
or something

About what
tonight's show about?

Yes, I can read,
so what's the clue?

That was it! Now,
come on, spanky!

We got some trouble
to get into!

A-ha!

A-ha ha! See! I told you
we were going to get
into some trouble!

See, I told you we were going
to get into trouble.

Aaaahhh! Here it goes!

[Music playing]

Go now!

Go!

Oh!

What are you
doing here?

We're just watching
you make a fool
of yourself.

Hardee har har!

All right,
the show's over.
Move along.
Shoo!

Oh, no, no, kenan.
You know tonight is the night
my book club meets here.

Book club?

Yeah, you know, we all
read the same book,

Then get together
and discuss it.

Tonight
we're discussing
petals of sorrow.

Sounds
like a hoot.

So, kenan,
if you don't mind.

What?

Oh, hey, madelaine.
Oh, thelma.

Oh, i--i can't
forget dorris.
How you doing? Ha ha.

Well, I'm here
for the book club.

I brought my book,
and...

I brought my club.

Come on! Join me!

Come on! Come on!

Kenan: kel!

I don't think that's
how the book club
works, man.

Kenan, wh-what
are you doing here?

I mean, you're not
in the club.

And neither are you, kel!

[Gasp]

Now, would the two of you
please get out of here?

All right.
Come on, kel.

I'm being
kicked out of my
own living room.

Fine. I don't want
to be in your stupid
old book club anyhow.

O-o-oh, and by the way,

I found petals of sorrow
to be amateurish,

The exposition was tedious,

And the characters was
one-dimensional.

Heard what I said?
One-dimensional!

Hey...

What kind of world
is this where a man
can't dance naked

In his own
living room?

I know!
Well, I guess we're gonna
have to dance naked here!

♪ Duh duh duh duh ♪

That's ok, man!

Ooh! My point was I have
no privacy around here.

Oh, man, sure you do!

I mean, you got all
the privacy you want
right here

In this small,
itsy-bitsy, little,
small room.

Well, it sure don't feel
like it, man.

It always seems
like my parents
are always lurking
somewhere near by.

You know what
I'm talking about?

Hey!

Uh! Daddy, what are
you doing in my closet?

Shh! Keep it down.

I'm hiding
from your mother.

She wants me to join
her boring, old book club.

But w-wait! What?

What's that?

Oh, this? It's your diary.

What are you doing
with my diary?

I'm reading it.

Come on, kel.
Let's get out of here.

[Banging on door]

Hey, hey, hey!
All right! Kenan!

What's up, eric?

What's happening, man?

Man, how's it going?

Man, I'm just hanging out,

Doing a little studying.
Come on in.

Oh, thanks, man.

Hey, kel, you remember
my cousin eric?

Oh, yeah!

She was that nice,
little italian woman

That gave us those
lollipops. Whatever
happened to her?

No, man! This is
my cousin eric.

Oh!

Do you have
any more lollipops?

Of course
you remember kel.

Who could forget
this guy?

Thanks to you,
my dog is still
bald.

Man, your dog was
asking for that haircut.

Ha ha ha! Whoo!

Man, you got
a great place!

Wait a minute!
This your place?

I mean, all of this stuff
is yours right here?
All of this stuff?

Wow!yep.

Whee! Boy, this
must be the life.

I mean, going to college,
having your own place.

No little sisters running
up to you bugging you.

Man, you can dance naked
in your own living room,

And your daddy ain't
in the closet, is he?

Yeah, I know
what you mean...

I--i think.

H-h-hey, eric, since all
of this stuff is yours,

I mean, you can just break
anything in the house

And nobody'd
get mad at you, huh?

Well, yeah, man,
but why would
I want to break--

Whoo!

Leave it alone! Come on!

Leave it!

Leave it!

Stop! Stop! Come on!

Come on!

Oh, I'm--

Get out of here, man!

I'm sorry about him.

Yeah!

Man, keep him
away from my stuff.

I'll try.

Man, you are so lucky
to have your own apartment.

You can
say that again.

I mean,
you have no idea
how annoying it is

Having
people invading
your privacy
all the time.

Oh, I'm starting
to get a good idea.

Hey, eric,
since this is your
own place and all,

I bet you can turn
the tv up as loud
as you want to!

T.v.: No, I'm sorry.hey, hey. I'm trying
to tell you,

Wayne said a body partso maybe you guys
should go now!

He finds the most
attractive is...

Your esophagus.no, no.
We can't go!

See! The honeymoon
is over.

Ok, look, which means
you watch it quietly
so I can study.

Hey, eric, isn't
this show great?

Man, how many more times
do I have to tell you
I'm trying to study?

?

Ok. I'm trying to study.
I'm trying to study.
I'm trying to study!

Oh.

[Whispering]
hey, kenan. What's
your favorite part of
the honeymoon is over?

The part where
you stop talking
and I can hear
one second of it?

Really? 'Cause see
my favorite part
is when the husband
get the answer wrong,

And then the wife
get to hit him
with a pillow like this.

Don't--don't
do that again.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Tv: all right, sally.
If your husband monty
was traveling
on a desert island,

What's the one thing
he would want with him?

Oh, that's easy.

He would want me.

He would want you.
Let's see what monty said.

Monty said he would want
his big screen t.v.

What?!

Ooh!

So that means
that couple #,
sharon and lloyd,

You're our
grand prize winners.

You've just won
a brand-new house!

Yes!

A brand-new house!

Ha ha! Yeah, that's
the answer to your problems
right there, kenan.

You want your own place,
all you got to do
is find a woman,

Get her to marry you,
go on that show,
and win a house.

Ha ha ha!

That's a great idea.

I was just joking.

N-no.
I'm being serious.

That
is a great plan!

And I think I know
just the girl, too.

Really? I mean,
like what girl are you
going to pick to do...

Oh, man!

Whoo! These shoes
is hurting!

Well, nobody told you
to wear such high heels.

Yeah, I know,
but it looks good
with the outfit.

Yeah, it does look kind
of nice with the pants--

I mean, take 'em off!

Oh, all right. Ooh!

Kenan: hey,
isn't that chris?

What do you mean
I can't be on the show?

Look, mr. Potter,
like I told you
last week and
the week before,

You have to be
married to be
on this show.

But me and mother
know more about each other

Than any of these dumb,
old married couples.

Mr. Potter,
I'm sorry.

No!

[Sigh]

Fine!

But mother
will not be pleased.

Hi, kenan. Hi, kel.

Are you two here
to audition

For the honeymoon's over?

Yes! Yes!yes! Yes, we are.

I'm the wifey.uh, me and my wife.

Wifey.she's my wife, yeah.

Oh, great. Why don't you
have a seat right here?

Oh, ok.

And I'll just
need to ask you
a few questions.

All right, all right.

Ok.

Ooh!

First, I'll need
your names.

My name's kel--

E! E!

Kelly!

That's his name--
uh, her name,

And I'm kenan
rock-er-stein-berg-ner-son.

Ok, mr. And mrs.
Rockersteinbergnerson.

We are looking for
couples who think

They know a lot
about each other.

Oh, that's us.

I mean, nobody knows more
about each other than us.

Yeah, we've known
each other since
we was little boys.

A-a-and girls.

You know,
since we were
little boys and girls.

I'm a boy, he's a girl.

Right.

Right.

Um...uh, uh,
so do either of you
have a problem

With revealing
personal details
about yourselves
on television?

Oh, you mean, like how kenan
has a crush on this girl
named narisha?

You mean,
your husband's
got a crush
on another woman?

No, I don't.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sure, he does.
I read it in your diary.

You read my diary, too?

He's also scared of cows.

Oh, well, you think
that's embarrassing.

You the one wearing
woman's clothing.
You know that?

Which would be perfectly
normal for a woman.

In that case, therefore,
no way embarrassing.

He also practices kissing
on his pillows.

That ain't all I can
do with a pillow!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

You like that?

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

Ok, all right, ok.

All right,
that'll be enough.

Sorry.
Sorry.

We just get a little
carried away sometimes.

I mean, we really
are a happy couple.

Oh, I don't care
if you're happy.

I just meant save
some of the fighting
for the show.

Miserable couples
make great television.

You mean, we going
to be on the show?

Th-th-that's right.

I'm putting you two
on tomorrow's show.

Aah!

We gonna be on
the honeymoon's over!

We gonna win us
a house!

Oh, yeah!

Whoo!

Dance with me!
Come on, dance!

Come on! Oh, man!

All right, you guys.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Ok, don't forget to bring
your marriage license!

What?

Excuse me?huh?

Your marriage license.
To prove that you're
actually married.

No, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on, wait now.

What if we just
get that to you

After we win the house...
Or never?

Hee hee hee!

You are so funny!

You're gonna be
great on the show.
I'll see you tomorrow.

Uh...w-wait. Come--wait.
If you...

Dang!

Well, I guess
we're not doing
the show, huh?

Because we don't have
a marriage license.

All right. Well...
Let's go!

We're going on that show.

Yeah, but we don't have
a marriage license.

We going on the show.

Do you, kenan
rockersteinbergnerson,

Take kelly kimble
to be your lawfully
wedded wife?

For the th time,

Do you, kenan
rockersteinbergnerson,

Take kelly kimble
to be your lawfully
wedded wife?

Uh...

Now, before
I say yes...

Just want
to make sure....

I got to be positive

That
there's no other way
I can get a marriage
license. Right?

Right.

You're sure there's
no other way?

Positive.

Oh, all right. Fine.

I guess I do
or whatever.

Ha ha ha!

How touching.

Now...do you,
kelly kimble,

Take kenan
rockersteinbergnerson

To be your
lawfully wedded husband?

Hum...

Huh...s-see,
what happened was,

Uh, t-there was this,
uh...uh--

Kel!

Who loves
orange soda?

Ooh! I do, I do, I do!

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

But--

Hey!

That was beautiful!

Would you stop
with the pictures?

There's no way, man.
This is priceless!

You may now
kiss the bride.

Ahh, that's all right.

I'll pass.

Come on, kenan,
kiss her!

Uh, that's
all right.

I--i'll kiss her a
whole lot of times.

You know
what I'm saying?

I don't need
to do that right now
in front of you.

Can I have
my marriage license,
please?

Oh, sure.
Here you go.

Thank you. Yes!
Now it's official.

Come on! Let's go
win that house.

Whoa! Hold up!

Let me get one more picture
of the happy newlyweds.

Hey, you
think this couch
would look nice
in my new house?

Hey, guys...

What y'all think
of this one?

It looks great.

What, just great!

I got to look
better than great
if I'm gonna be on tv.

Aah! Aah!

Hey, man, where'd you get all
those women's clothes?

I got 'em
from kenan's mama.

What?! Man, you took
all my mama's clothes?

Yeah. Well,
I had to.

My mama
wouldn't let me
have hers.

Oh, man.
I don't believe this.

I know. Your mama
got bad taste
in clothes.

It's not that, man!

Look, just wear...this one.

Eric: ha ha ha!

I cannot believe
y'all actually went
and got married.

Am I supposed to buy you
a wedding gift or something?

Whoo!

Yeah, yeah. I mean,
that reminds me,
kenan.

Where are we going
on our honeymoon?

Look, let's
get this straight
right here, all right?

We are not really married.

We only did this
so we can get
the marriage license
to go on the show.

As soon as the show is over
and I win the house,

The marriage is over.

Over? Just like
that? Just like real
quick like that?

Blink
of an eye. Over?

I give you
the best years
of my life,

And this is how
you repay me? Oh!

We are not married!

Oh! [Mumbling]

Kenan, what makes
you think just because
you get on the show,

That you gonna
actually win?

But we have to win!
Are you kidding?

Besides, kel and I
know more about each
other than anybody.
Watch. Quiz us.

Ok.

Uh...kel,

What's kenan's
favorite fruit?

Man, that's easy.
A pineapple.

That's right. That's my dog,
that's my dog.

Ok...kenan...

What's kel's
favorite movie?

Easy. Alien ninjas
from mars att*ck, part iii.

Yes! Part iii.
That is right.

Yeah. Word up.

Hold up, hold up, hold up.
Wait a minute.

If kel's supposed
to be a woman,

Don't you think
he should answer
the questions more
like a woman?

What, uh, like...

[High-pitched voice]
like th-this?

No, no, no.
He's right though.

Yeah, kel, you got
to answer the questions
more, you know, sensitive
and girly-like.

You know,
like your favorite movie
wouldn't be alien ninjas
from mars att*ck,you know?

It would be something
lame and mushy, like...
Tears on my pillow.

Yeah! Hey, wait.
That's myfavorite movie.

Ooh! See, I loved
that movie, too.

And didn't it just
break your heart

When lucinda gave jacob
back the goat?

Mm-hmm! She was like,

"This goat was a symbol
of our love,

But now, it's just a goat."

Mm-hmm.

"And there's only
one thing left
for me to do!"

[Together]
"cry tears on my pillow!"

Oh, man!
Oh, man!

Oh, man,
that was beautiful.

Oh, man, that was deep.
That was deep.

Hey, that was
a good movie,
wasn't it?

Announcer: welcome to
the honeymoon's over!

And now, your host,

Bob eubanks!

Oh!

Hey, thank you very much.
Hello everybody!

Welcome to
the honeymoon is over.

Hey, this is the show where
couples compete

For the grand prize
of a brand-new house.

So, let's meet
our couples today. Ready?

Couple #.
They're from florida.

They've been married
for years. Say hello
to steve and hannah holland.

Hi, mr. Eubanks!

How are you guys?
Welcome to our show.

And now our second couple.
They've been married
for years.

Celebrating
their th anniversary,

Welcome jonathan
and gemma green.

Hi, bob.

Welcome you guys.

And now our final couple.

They're from right here
in chicago.

They've been married for...
For one day?

Welcome kenan and kelly
rockerster--rocke--rock--

Uh, how do you say
your last name?

Oh, uh...

Rocker...

Uh, ro-stei--

I don't know.

Ok.

Now, before the show
we asked our couples
some questions

To see how well they
really know each other.

For every matching answer,
they get points.

So, if everybody
is ready, let's go
right to question #,

And we'll start
with couple #.

Here's your question.
Steve, according to hannah,

What's the most annoying
thing that you do?

She hates it when
I make this sound...

Bweeghh!

She said "bweeghh!"

Yeah, that's right.
You get points.

Let's go to couple # now.

Jonathan, what do you
do that annoys gemma?

Ha ha ha!

I never shower.

Ha ha ha! That's classy.

She said, "no,
you burp too much."

I don't burp.

Burper!

I'm not a burper.
I don't burp.burping man!

Bob: kelly!

Kelly, you're not supposed
to hit the other husbands.

[High-pitched voice]
oh, my bad.

Kenan, what do you do
that really annoys kelly?

Oh, this was easy!

Kelly hates it when
I come up with crazy schemes
that get her into trouble.

That's what she said!

Yeah!

Give me the house!
Give me the house!

Give me somewhere
to live in! Give me
the house!

K-k-kelly! Kelly!

We won! We won!

We didn't win it yet, man.
I mean, woman.

That was
the first question.

We've got a whole game
to play.

Oh!

Ha ha ha!

Whoo!

Whoo!

All right!

♪ Duh duh duh duh ♪

♪ Duh duh ♪

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Aah!

Whoo!

Boo!

Boo!

All right!

Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!

And welcome back
to the honeymoon is over.

Hey, we've got a good,
close game going now

Between the greens and
the rockersteinbergner-
[mumbling] whatever.

It's time now
for our final question,

And this question goes
to kenan and kelly.
It's worth points.

That means if you answer
this question correctly,

You'll be today's champion,

And you're going to win
a brand-new house.

So, are you ready?

Ready.

Ok, kenan,

What is kelly's
favorite drink?

Well, bobby...

I guess the answer to that
question would have to be...

None other than...

Orange soda!

Ha ha ha!

Yeah! Orange soda, man!

Did you hear what I said?

I got to get out of this booth.
I am paying the bills.

Bobby, I got
to talk to you.

We're homeowners
and stuff now.

Let me tell you what
it is. It's orange--

What camera am I on?
Which camera?
So I can tell
the folks at home.

Which camera? Oh.

Her favorite
drink--

Can I reiterate
one more again--
is orange soda!

Bob: ok, all right.

Kelly, what did you say?

Oh. I-i'm sorry, kenan.

"Root beer."

What do you say? What?

"Root beer."

Kel!

Wh-wh-what?! What were you
thinking? Root beer? No!
You love orange soda.

W-w-well, see, kenan.

Kel loves orange soda,

But [high-pitched voice]
kelly loves root beer!

See, you told me
to answer the questions
all girly.

So you said root beer?

Well, anyway,
since kenan and kelly
missed the last question,

It looks like
jonathan and gemma

Have won themselves
a brand-new house!

Yeah!
Yeah!