05x02 - Tatyana Ali

[bunniefuu]

[Giggling]

Hey, guys. What you doing?

We just finished digging a hole to china.

Want an egg roll?

Sure!

Hey, look!

Who are you?

I'm mark. I was just wandering around china,

And I saw this hole, so I got in it.

Want an egg roll?

No, thanks.

Hey! Isn't this the green room of all that?!

Hey, you're leon and you're amanda!

Both: thaaat's us!

I'm nick. What's up?

Wow! All that's my favorite show!

Hey, can I be a cast member?

Both: sure.

Hey, guys.

Wow! That's kenan and josh!

Hey, what's up leon, amanda, nick?

This is mark. We told him he could be a new cast member.

Cool.

Welcome to the cast.

This is unbelievable!

Hey, you must be the new cast member...mark!

Welcome to the cast.

How did you guys know about mark?

Oh, kenan and josh just told us!

They were really excited!

We came over as soon as we heard.

This is so cool!

Hey, what's this I read in the paper about a new cast member?

That's me. I'm mark.

Stuff it! There's no way I'm gonna allow another cast member.

I want him outta here in minutes, or I'm gonna--hey! A hole!

Look! Chinese stuff!

Should i?

Aaahhhooohhh....

I guess it's time to start the show!

Yeah! Yeah!

Stage manager: I'm cold and frightened.

Hey...china.

What a great wall!

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon and u.s. Department of education

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It'sall that.

♪ Thi

♪That

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, This ist ♪

W is of that ♪w

♪ And yes, we do it

♪ So sit your

♪ On the

♪Goowhere

♪ Is all of that e

♪Ng you

♪ Is all of t

♪ 'Ca right back ♪

♪ Uh-oh

♪ Thi

♪That

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♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪♪

And that's a whole lotta zucchini! Ha ha!

And now with world wide weather,

Here's ray borealis.

Today, ray's at the north pole.

What's it like out there, ray?

Brenda! It's... It's really, really,

Really cold!

Ah-hmm. Really?

Well, how cold is it?

Gee, i--i don't know,

Because my thermometer is frozen solid!

But--but--

It's really, really cold.

I've never been this cold

In all of my life.

I don't know why you guys sent me here.

Ah ha. That's funny, ray.

So, if ya had to guess,

What would ya say the temperature was like out there?

Judging by the icicles forming on my face and hands,

I'm guessing it's gotta be degrees below zero.

In other words, if it got degrees w-w-warmer,

It would still be freezing!

Mmm. Uh-huh. And is it supposed to get warmer

Any time soon?

Well...let's take a look

At the -day forecast, shall we?

Monday will be freezing.

[Spits]

Tuesday will be totally freezing

With a % chance of cold.

Wednesday, I'm guessin' it's gonna be freezing again,

Because this is the north pole!

It's always gonna be freezing!

[Pants] ah... Oh, what's this?

What's this?

A hot beverage.

Oh...[Panting]

Thank goodness!

What are you thinking?!

What are you thinking? This is ice water!

Now I'm even colder than I was before!

Sorry.

Weather is silly, isn't it?

I mean, at the north pole it's so cold,

And here at the studio,

I'm perfectly warm and toasty!

B-b-b-b--

Brenda!

Forgive me, but I don't really wanna hear

How warm and toasty you are, ok?

So can it!!

Ok! Ha ha.

So how are the people there, ray?

Are they friendly?

You ninny! There are no people here!

We're in the north pole!

People don't live in the north pole! It's too cold!

Uh-huh. Well, it must not be too cold for that little fella.

What little fella?

That's a polar bear!

And he's gonna--aah!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ha ha! Look, ray, he's dancing with you!

[Screaming]

Ray?

Ray...ha ha.

Great! The polar bear ate my pants!

I wish he had knocked me unconscious!

At least I wouldn't be so cold!

[Whining] i...i can't feel my hands!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

My hand broke off!

Dah!

Well, that's awful!

Can someone turn on the air conditioner?

It's so hot in here!

My hand!

My hand! I need medical attention!

My hand broke off!

Somebody help!

Well, that's nice.

Well, that about wraps it up for tonight's news.

From the warm and toasty studio,

I'm brenda stone.

Wait! Wait a minute!

My tongue is stuck!

Help! Help!

Emergenthy!

I'm sorry, ray, I can't understand anything you're saying!

Can you please take your tongue off the microphone?

I cahn! Is suck!

Ha ha!

Oh, ray, you're so cute and funny! Ha!

He's funny.

Good night, everyone. Ha ha.

[Whimpers]

Pffftt....

[Whimpering]

And now, danny tamberelli with vital information

For your everyday life!

If the groundhog sees its shadow,

More weeks winter.

If the groundhog sees a steamroller,

Then we're all having groundhog pie, baby!

Yeah! Come on!

There's no "i" in team.

There is an "i" in...

Ai yi yi yi yi arrrrr! Ai yi yi yi yi yi yi yi!

Never judge a book by its cover.

Judge it by the noise it makes when it hits your uncle benny on the bootie!

[Thunk]

Ow!

Ha ha! Good book.

This has been danny tamberelli with vital information.

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

And now all that presents

A semi-educational moment...

Everyday french with pierre escargot!

[Speaks french]

Ha! Ho ho! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Speaking french]

Oh! Camel wearing!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[Speaking french]

Oh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Excuse me.

Hello, I'm megan. Megan marples. What can I do for you?

Oh, I just wanted to introduce myself.

I'm the new hall monitor.

It's nice to meet ya. Well, I'd better get to class before the bell rings.

You know... As hall monitor,

It is my job to make sure that the halls of dullmont

Are safe from anyone who would walk them without a pass.

That's, uh, great. Well, i, uh, don't wanna be late.

Hee hee hee hee hee...

[Bell rings]

Great! Now look what you've done! You made me late!

I'm sorry. I need to see your hall pass.

What? But I don't have a hall pass!

Loony!

What's the matter with you?!

People who walk these halls without a pass make me crazy!

What were we talking about?

You're insane.

You're just jealous!

Not so fast!

What? What is it?

I'm gonna need to see your hall pass.

Here ya go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?!

[Crunching]

I'm sorry. I need to see your hall pass.

No, I didn't. You just ate my hall pass!

Yes, you did! I saw you eat it!

You're just saying that.

No, I'm not! You ate my hall pass!

What kind of a person eats another person's hall pass?!

I'm not a person!

I'm a dinosaur!

Rrraaah!

Rraaaah.

You're a freak!

So then I says to her I says,

What do I need english for?

It ain't like I'm ever gonna move to england!

Halt.

Who goesthere?

We go there.

He-here. We go here!

Then I need to see your hall passes.

We ain't showing you nothin', twerp.

Yeah. In fact, we's is gonna b*at you up!

Well, if you fellas don't watch out,

I'm gonna b*at myself up!

Huh? Huh?

That's it! It's on!

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Ooh!

Had enough?

Uh...yeah.

Pretty much.

Get to class!

What's going on out here?

I heard a ruckus!

I am lord of the hall, and I demand to see your pass!

But I'm a teacher, and teachers don't need hall passes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell it to the chicken!

Buck-eh, buck-eh.

Buck-eh.

Buck-buck-buck-eh.

Buck-buck-buck- buck-aah!

Well, look who laid an egg!

The hall monitor laid an egg!

What's that, mr. Egg?

The egg says I'm the best hall monitor in the world.

Are you sure, mr. Egg? Well, if you say so!

Ah! What'd you do that for?!

That's what I'd like to know!

I'm going to get principal pimpell!

That's him. That's the little kid who tied me up and took my hall monitor sash!

Well, not to worry, young billy.

As principal of dullmont,

Principal william...

Baines...

Pimpell...

I will now remedy this situation

And return you to your rightful place

As monitor of these beautiferous hallways.

Halt.

None shall pass!

Uh, excuse me, young man,

The throbbing blemish and myself have come to the attention

That you are an impostor, so why don't you go ahead and tell me who you are

Before you make my pimple pop?!

Impostor! Gimme my hall monitor sash back!

I don't know what you're talking about.

Son...

All right! Fine!

Ya caught me!

I'm not the hall monitor!

In fact, I don't even go to this school!

But you know something?!

If I was the hall monitor,

I would be the greatest hall monitor in all the land!

And all the other hall monitors would bow down before me

And crown me their hallway king!

You sicken me!

[Gasps]

Come along, horsey. Let's ride!

Well, that certainly was odd and unexpected.

Well...

♪ This is all that ♪

When at home, don't play ball in the house.

Especially if it's with a team of professional football players.

This has been...

Hi! I'm john takahashi!

And I am mack takahashi. No relation.

We're coming to you live

From dullmont jr. High school

Where, tonight, rod spackle will attempt to get

Christine mcwheelihan to dance with him.

Rob has had plenty of trouble getting girls to dance with him in the past.

But he's hoping to turn that all around tonight with christine.

Christine in the floral print dress is well known for her strong defense.

Rob really has his work cut out for him.

Yeah. I think this should be quite a match-up!

[Ding ding ding]

Ooh! They're off. Let's watch.

Uh, hi, christine.

Uh, hi.

I'm rob from math class, remember?

Actually, rob, no.

Oh! A crushing blow!

Yeah! She saw that opening and really let him have it!

Uh, my name's rob and I sit behind you in math class--

Hi, christine!

Whoa!

Polly kramer from nowhere

Helps out christine with a fine defensive body check!

Yeah, let's see that again in slow motion.

Now you see how rob never even saw that one coming?

Ouch! That's gotta hurt!

Yeah. I think it's gonna be tough comin' back from that one.

Yeah! Whoo!

Ready? Ok!

Rob, rob, take a chance.

Ask her if she wants to dance!

Yay, rob!

Whoo! Hoo!

Mack: look at him go! This kid's not givin' up!

Uh... Christine...

I was wondering about...

Whistle blows: [twirrrrrrr!]

And that's the end of the first half!

Yeah! Let's go to bo stallion on the side lines!

Thanks, jack. Thanks, mack.

So, rob, you looked a little weak in the first half.

What's your strategy from here on in?

Well, bo, I just gotta get out there and be aggressive.

You know, ask her to dance!

He's been training a long time for this!

This kid came here to dance!

[Ding ding ding]

Go get her, champ!

The second half is under way.

Um...christine, I'm rob, remember?

Want some punch?

[Twirrrrrr!]

Uh-oh! Looks like there's a flag on the play!

Penalty on rob!

Spilled punch.

Yards.

That's gonna cost him, jack.

It sure is, mack. I mean, you just can't make a mistake like that

At such a crucial point in the dance.

Yeah. Let's take a look at what he has to do in these last few moments, shall we?

See, what he needs to do

Is sit here right in this chair next to christine.

Then he needs to ask her to dance.

And this is what she'd look like with a beard.

Minute. Minute remaining in the dance.

Time is running out. Rob better act fast.

Um...christine...

Do it, rob! You can do it!

Christine, will you dance with me?

This is it, folks. The question is up.

Sure. Why not?

[Twiiiiir!] [Cheers]

And it's good!

She said, "sure, why not?"

What an amazing come-from-behind victory.

Look at that happy couple hitting the dance floor.

Go get her, rob.

Well, that's it for tonight, folks.

Join us next saturday when we'll be broadcasting live

From aleik jackson's bar mitzvah.

Mazel tov, everybody. Bye-bye.

See you later. All right.

Hey, clavis! Wake up.daydream along with taty

The show's over.

Oh, yeah. Kick it!