01x15 - Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy

[bunniefuu]

Announcer: And now
more adventures in science

with Professor Membrane.

[cheering]

Announcer: Professor?

Thanks again to Dr. Falking

and his miserably failed
attempt at a better cold fusion.

Now let's take a question
from the audience.

My mom makes me eat
Breakfast Chunks for breakfast,

but I hate them.

I hate them so much!

Could I go back in time

and stop them from
ever being invented?

I'm glad you asked that.

Altering the past
to affect the present

is theoretically possible.

You could prevent Walton Chunky

from ever inventing
Breakfast Chunks

by using temporal object
replacement technology.

See, there's Walton
Chunky in the past,

and, uh, I guess he worked

in a garbage dump or something.

And there's a big
sack of bran, I guess.

Right there is where he gets
the idea for breakfast chunks.

Oh, look. He's happy.

Using a space-time
transfer device,

you replace an
object in the past

with an object from the present

and stop this moment
from ever happening.

See, there are the scientists...

And they're sending a
horrible giant squid into the past.

Aah!

Aah!

But be careful! If a breakfast
cube was never invented,

tasty breakfast squids
would sweep the nation!

Yay!

Aah!

Further unpredictable
effects will arise

as a result of mankind's
foolish altering of the time line...

Like this giant
fish in a bear suit.

He would be horrible.

Look at him go!

The consequences
would be disastrous.

Aah!

So despite the temptation,

altering the time line is
more foolish than productive.

Anybody who would build a
space-time object replacement device

is a complete moron!

[echoing] Moron, moron, moron.

GIR, the space-time object
replacement device is ready.

Hee hee hee hee hee.

An alien!

Stand back, I'll get it!

Not again.

Zim: There! Dib in the past.

So unknowing. So unprepared.

Back before he was ever a
thr*at to our mission, GIR.

GIR: Ooh!

A hunter-destroyer--

What is it?

A hunter-destroy--

What is it?

A hunter-destroyer machine

programmed to target
the Earth boy in the past,

to ensure that he will not be
a problem to us in the present.

Wait. If you destroy
Dib in the past,

then he won't ever
be your enemy.

Then you won't have to send
a robot back and destroy him

and then he will be your enemy.

So then you will have
to send a robot back--

Now to unleash
screaming temporal doom.

Computer: Object not
compatible with temporal field.

Oh, not compatible!?

Is this thing just
completely useless?

Not compatible.

Computer voice: Object accepted.

Temporal
displacement in process.

An alien!

Stand back, I'll get it!

Beware, alien, I'm gonna--

Aah!

Take that.

Hey, Gaz, did you
eat all the cereal?

I was gonna have this for
breakfast tomorrow, you know?

You think you
own all the cereal.

Well, you know what, Dib?

You don't. You just don't.

Look, all I'm saying
is if you're gonna--

[lisping] What was I saying?

Gaz, have I always
sounded this funny?

Long as I've known you.

And have I always had
this claw for a hand?

Tricycle accident
when you were ,

don't you remember?

Now that you mention it, I do.

[screams]

You eat the pizza!

Kids: ♪ Pizza Hog ♪

♪ Glory to Pizza Hog ♪

The pig -- it haunts me.

Fascinating.

Not the same as the
hunter-destroyer plan,

but I might be able to
rid myself of Dib after all.

Why?

Bye-bye, piggy.

I love-ed you, piggy.

I loved-ed you.

And in other news,

giant fish people are
rampaging through the city.

You're going to get in trouble

as soon as dad finds out
you took his hover helmet.

I'll put it right back.

I just want to see
if it can make it

into space with this thing.

GIR, another pig.

Wow!

I can spy on the
family of Noseferatus

that just moved
in down the street.

Aah!

Wow.

Aah!

So anyhow, I
was thinking I'd try

one of Dad's old
cloaking jackets

and go spy on Zim's house.

Dib, shh.

They're going to show
the bats eating a cow.

Whatever.

I'm gonna sneak up
past those giant gnomes--

and leave a nasty message.

No, leave a nasty--

and leave a nasty
note on his door.

Gaz, have I always had
these tubes in my neck?

Hover helmet accident
when you were .

You punched a hole
through to the sewer system,

don't you remember?

And have my plans
always been this lame?

Oh, yeah.

And these visions
of pigs in my head --

what's with these pigs?

More piggies, GIR.

I demand piggies!

Hee hee hee hee.

No!

These are for science.

Science!

OK.

Now back to my
filthy evil, I guess.

It's a Bigfoot baby. I know it.

Leave me alone!

Nobody has ever gotten footage

this close before.

[clears throat]

I'm a regular kid.

I just want to eat grubs.

Eat your grubs, sasquatch.

Aah!

♪ Do do-do-do do ♪

♪ Do do-do do ♪

♪ Do-dee do-dee do ♪

♪ Do ♪

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

[knocking on door]

Dib: I know you're
behind the piggies, Zim.

I don't know how,
but I know that it's you.

Rubber piggies
have ruined my life,

and it's all been you.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

So close to victory.

Come on, kid,

if I lose one more
patient today,

I'm gonna get written up!

Clear!

Come on, kid.

Clear!

Oh, stay with me.

Stay with me!

[beeping]

[beep]

[slurp]

Ahh.

Foolish Earth creature.

[beeping]

Since my son's skeleton was
accidentally crushed by a paramedic

in a freak piggy accident,

I have created the
new Megaboy

fusion-powered
titanium exoskeleton.

It will give him the
strength of , little boys.

Dib: You will pay

for ruining my childhood, Zim!

You will pay!

That last piggy should
have reduced him to nothing.

What happened? Where
did history go wrong?

My whole life has been a
miserable pig-filled ordeal

because of you.

You can hide Zim,

but you can't... hide.

There must be some
way of stopping him,

some point in history

where he's still
vulnerable to the piggy.

Prepare for your destruction.

Aah!

Aah! Ha ha ha ha!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Only one left?

No-o-o!

Yay! We're doomed!

Wait! There may
be one last chance.

I have to warn
myself in the past

to never use this time machine.

Now to unleash
screaming temporal doom.

[humming]

And now, Zim,

this is for tampering
with the past.

This is for the pigs.

Enjoy your last moment...

...of privacy.

Soon the world will
see-- Wait a minute.

Have I always been like this?

Yes, I have, haven't I?
My whole life!

Good old Dib-like Dib!

Hey, hey!

Hey, wait a minute.

Gimme a-- Aah!

Hey!

[fighting]

It's like none of
it ever happened.

Where did the last piggy go?

Now to unleash
screaming temporal doom.

Zim: Zim!

Don't use the time machine.

Love, Zim!

Zim: Jumping chili bean!