01x22 - Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Invader Zim". Aired: March 30, 2001 – August 19, 2006.*
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Series centers on Zim a member of the extraterrestrial Irken species and the Irken Empire from the planet Irk.
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01x22 - Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom

Post by bunniefuu »

Ha ha ha!

And I think unicorns
and dragons are pretty,

so that's why I'm
a fairy princess

for Halloween.

I was a fairy
princess once, too.

Everything was so
nice and peaceful


till one day, it all
went horribly wrong.


Ms. Bitters: Heh. Halloween.

Now it's just a shamelessly
commercial ploy

to turn children into
candy-starved zombies.

Aah!

But it was once a nice...

Yah!

[growls]

Aah!

Aah!

Zim: Aah!

Huh? Huh?

Aah!

What is it now, Zim?

The Dib! He's missing!

They've taken him
and drained him

of his sweet, sweet
blood candies.

Who's taken him?

The candy zombies!

Ah!

Dib: Aaaah!

[breathing heavily]

It's like you said!

The children try to end
the hunger for sweetness

in their rumbling
undead bellies!

That's not what I said.

[door closes]

[gasping]

Aah!

Sorry... I'm late...

Horrible nightmare visions.

It's called life, Dib.
Sit down.

Dib seems more crazy
than normal today.

Ah, it's starting!

He's one of the zombies now!

Look out for your blood!

I don't know, Z.
Zim's being kind of wack.

Yo.

[teeth rattling]

[chattering nervously]

Well, Dib's got a
long history of crazy.

For all we know,
Zim's just weird.

Aah!

Zim's screaming
like a howler monkey.

That seems more
crazy than weird to me.

The letter "M" has a good point,

but Dib's always screaming
like a howler monkey.

It's... happening!

Again!

Except for right now.

"M": Yeah. Right now,

he's babbling like a maniac...

monkey.

Eee!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Ooh! Ah! Ah! Eee! Eh! Eeh! Ah!

OK. Maybe Brian's right.

Monsters! Hideous monsters!

Ms. Bitters?

Yes, Zita.

I think Dib's even
crazier than normal today.

Can we use one
of our crazy cards

to send him to the
Crazy House for Boys?

Each class only gets
crazy cards a month.

Are you sure you
want to use one?

[grunting]

Yeah.

Err!

I've activated the crazy collar.

The white coats will
be here any moment.

There he is!

Get him!

Dib: Huh? No!

[screaming]

Soon they'll all be
after my delicious guts.

I must prepare
the base's defenses

against this Halloween madness.

[grunting]

Aah! Uh!

Dib: Look! You don't understand.

If there's one thing
we understand, son,

it's insanity.

Ah.

No. Not again.

No!

[shrieks]

He's the one,

the one with the flashing neck,

the one we've been waiting for.

She said he'd come, and he has!

Waiting? For me?

What is this?

Shh.

We're talking all spooky.

[whispering]

Who's been waiting for me? Huh?

Huh? Huh?

Huh? Huh?

Huh? Huh?

Huh?

What are you talking about?

You said-- The monster said--

Uh, oh, never mind.

I'm sane, you know.

Ha ha ha!

GIR, we have to
prepare the base.

Tonight is a horrible
Earth holiday, and--

Hee hee hee!

GIR!

Ha ha ha!

My taquitos.

Aah! My taquitos.

Taquitos!

[sighs]

Now, Dib,

tell us about
these reality jumps,

as you call them.

It started last night.

I was in Dad's lab,

making some modifications
to his dimensional scope,


hoping to peek into
spooky alternate realities.


Also, with Halloween coming up,

I wanted some
cool costume ideas.


See, I have this theory that
some paranormal phenomena


might be the
result of collisions


between our world and
these other dimensions.


I tripled the output,

which was a little stupid,

but I still didn't
really see much.


All I got was a brief
flash of something,


but that's it.

I thought it was
just a malfunction,


but since then, the
flashes keep coming,


even without the machine,

getting longer each time.

Aah!

Professor: So I
find you here, son.

Oh, I suppose it was
only a matter of time.

You know not to use my
tools for your parascience.

Dad, I--

[people mumbling]

If the jumps keep getting
progressively longer,

as seems to be the case,

it won't be long
before I end up stuck--

Stuck in that
horrible dimension!

Professor: Ha ha ha!

Well, Dib, we've
got some bad news.

I just told you the bad news!

Yes, yes, trapped in a
horrible nightmare world.

Very nice. Look.

We've decided
that you're insane.

You'll be confined
here for a period

no shorter than
the rest of your life.

Enjoy your stay. Bye-bye.

No! You don't understand!

[muffled]

My poor insane son.

Dib: Listen.

This place can't help me.

They don't have the equipment.

I need someone-- Aah--

Ow! Oh!

Wait!

It's happening again!

It's-- Nooo!

Yeohh!

[shrieks]

[shrieks]

Monster: You're him.
You're the one.

The one what?
I'm not the one.

You're telling me the
prophecy is wrong?

"The boy with the
flashing neck will come.

"He will be the
key to freedom...

and stuff."

Was that Nostradamus?

I read it on a bathroom wall.

I got to get out of this place.

Monster: Then you'll have
to escape your own head

'cause that's where we are --

in your head.

You're insane.

No, I'm-- Well, yes, I am,

but it's true!

This whole dimension
exists in your mind, Dib.

Maybe that's why
your head's so big.

My head's not big.

Why does everyone say that?

And how do you know my name?

Everyone knows your name here.

They're done with this place.

Ruined all of it.

Now they want out
into the real world,

and the only way out
is through your head.

This world is a result
of my imagination?

Maybe I am crazy.

Neck-blinker boy.

[scream]

It's time to go.

Ha ha ha!

Where?

Right through your big head.

My head's not big!

Monster: The
machine's almost ready.

Soon the time will be right.

He's gone!

Oh, no!

[slurping]

Vaughn,

I like it when you
do those speeches,

all scary-like.

Hmm. OK.

But then we go tell the
boss what happened.

[ahem]

Soon the time
will be right for...

[breathing heavily]

It's the only chance!

They've mutated, GIR!

They were disgusting before,

but this hunger makes
them even more--

They're coming!

Boy: Trick or treat!

Aah!

GIR, activate the defenses.

[humming]

Get away from my blood!

Zim, I know how
weird this is gonna--

GIR, stop him! Defensive mode!

[beep beep]

I don't have time for this.

The next jump
may be the last one,

and I'll be stuck there forever.

They're gonna do
something to my head --

something evil.

Boy: Trick or treat!

My head's not big!

I... didn't say anything
about your head.

You're the only
one who can help.

Help? You?

My dad won't let me
use his equipment,

and I need to
reverse the effect.

Help? You?

Come to me?

Your greatest, most
amazing enemy?

Your future sl*ve master,
and you ask for help?

You're the only other person

with the technology to--

Begone with you!

I have had enough
of your nonsense

from your smelly
mouth filled with...

corn!

I haven't been eating corn.

Liar!

[grunting]

Yah!

Monster: The one
whose neck blinks.

We've been expecting you.

The Halloweenies!

[screaming]

[meow]

Where are we?

Some kind of alternate universe.

It's based on my
imagination somehow.

And you brought me here?

You sick and troublesome human!

Hey! The only way back
home is through my head.

Anything happens to me,

and you're stuck here forever.

Curse you!

Wait.

I can still do stuff
to your legs, right?

I guess, but...

Wait! No!

Curse you!

Well, this is your
imaginary world.

Think of some way out of here.

Eh... ah...

Well, we can't go
back to your house.

We should try my house.

Maybe there's a version

of the dimensional scope there.

Yah!

Maybe there's something there

we can use to defend
ourselves as well.

Good thinking.

I hate Halloween.

Huh?

Hmm. Look. It's blinking.

Do what you want
to the rest of him.

Just save his head!

Aah!

[groaning]

Yah!

Uh!

Zim: What are you--

Oh, you wretched--

He's the one!

Arr!

Yow! Uh! Oop!

I'll get you, Dib,

you stinking human!

Hey, let go of me before
something horrible happens to me.

Or else!

Hee hee hee!

We brought him for you. His
neck flashes and everything.

This isn't mine. That
miserable Dib, he--

Silence!

Uh!

This is the wrong one.

You failed me.

You will be condemned to
the realm of eternal screaming

and, oh, restlessness.

But I don't really
want to go there.

You'll just have to accept it.

Here's your ticket.

Well, see you, guys.

Bye! Bye! Bye!

[boom]

Ohh! Ohh!

As for this one, he
may prove useful.

Hee hee hee!

Man, I'm spooky.

We have your little friend.

We will destroy him

if you do not surrender
your head to us!

Dib: Zim's not my friend.
You can keep him.

Um, I did what you said.

And?

He said we could
destroy his friend.

Then he threw a can
at my head. It hurt.

Oh, that little worm
pig weasel pig!

Yaah!

Uh, bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye.

Good-bye.

Grr.

Dib drags me into his ugly mind,

then sacrifices me.

If his head weren't so
crucial to my escape-- Ugh!

I only help poor GIR
is all right by himself

against those zombies!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

He's after my candy! Aah!

So I find you here.

It was only a matter of time.

Dad?

Hoo hoo ha ha ha!

We're gonna open your head.

Heh heh heh.

[slurp]

Heh heh heh!

Hee hee hee!

Dib: No! No! Ow!

I'm floating.

Oh, come on.

I break free, and
now I have to go back

to rescue that little
rat that left Zim to rot?

Why must it be?

Oh, where is it?
Where is the scope?

Where is it? Where is it?

Yah!

What is that?

My revolting minions,

at last the time has come.

Today we'll have a
whole new world to ravage.

As soon as we open
the portal in Dib's head,

the fun will begin once more!

Whoo! Yahoo! Dib's head!

Rahh!

Don't I get any say in this?

Let the head thingy start!

Oh, that was stupid.

I should have
written a speech. Oh!

"Head thingy."

No, you did good.
It was great.

No use fighting, child.

No use.

Soon my army shall march

through your
disturbingly large head

and on to victory.

[thinking] Maybe my head is big.

Aah!

Zim!

Oh, come on.

You're not mad about that whole
"leaving you to rot" thing, are you?

Organs... exploding.

I'm not here because
I like you, Dib.

I'm just here for your
filthy gargantuan head.

Oh, now it's gargantuan.

Oh! Ew!

Ugh! Yuck!

Ew! Ew!

Find them!

That kid is our only hope!

Uggh!

OK. Ugh.

Uh, OK.

Um... hmm.

I've set the robot
thing for auto-defense.

It'll buy us some time,
and we'll use this thing

to widen the portal
in your stinking head.

I don't really know
how to use that.

I've used more complicated
devices as playthings.

I'll figure it out.

Hey, quit it!

That's my head!

There. That should
be wide enough.

What about me?
How do I get back?

Good question, but I don't care.

[groaning]

Uh! Uh!

Uh. Uh.

There. Through that hole.

Uh... yah!

We-- We made it!

I made it!

As soon as my skeleton
stops being broken,

I'm going to destroy you, Dib.

Yah!

At last, a new perfect world

for me to-- Uh!

Ooh! Oh, so disgusting.

Ooh! Look at the
head on that one.

Ooh! Ooh! Oh! Oh, I'm gonna--

Such horrible doodads!

Oh, boy.

[burp]

[hiccup]

Aah! Aah!

Well, I'll, uh...

see you guys at school.

Uhh. Oh.
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