01x35 - Hobo 13

[bunniefuu]

[crash!]

Wa... ha ha ha ha ha!

Plasma-armed Battle Tanks,

Maim-bots,

death-wave cannons...

A sack of taquitos?

Just a few supplies I need
to complete my mission.

You get my taquitos yet?

Your exile... ehh... mission
is to observe the planet, Zim,

not annihilate it.

Yes, but I'm quite
good at annihilating.

Taquitos! And a
clown with no head!

Look, we'd love to
grant your request,

but we think you're
insane-- untrained!

Untrained? Invader Zim?

You're trained as
an Invader, Zim.

Battle-tanks are for
hardened soldiers.

[grunts]

Hey, how 'bout we
send Zim to Hobo- ?

It's the... um...

"Finest m*llitary
training planet ever!"

Zim, on Hobo- you'll
be torn limb from limb--

Evaluated!
Evaluated as a soldier.

If you pass, we'll send you
a big bag of battle-tanks!

But not that clown thing.

Headless clown!

Headless clown!

Very well, my Tallest!

To attain my tanks,

I will allow the evaluation

of my incredible
brainmeats. Zim out!

How 'bout clown taquitos?

Hey, hey, GIR... GIR,

check it out...

[humming the Invader Zim
theme song]

With my mighty fists of
horror and unstoppable cruelty!

I am the tool of destruction,
vengeance and fury!

I only asked for
your name. Next!

I am Throbulator!

I am a creature
of pure headache!

Aargh! My head!

Your names! That's
all I want! Gah!

Invader Skoodge, sir!

Skoodge?

I thought the almighty
Tallest k*lled you!

Yeah, but I'm ok now.

They say they'll promote
me if I pass the evaluation!

Ha! Foolish, gullible Skoodge.

Your first task, you scum-
puddling skwagdoogies,

is to choose a leader.

Anyone who disobeys the
leader will be eliminated.

Think carefully.

This is the most important--

I choose me!

Zim shall lead!

Object and taste my
revolting vengeance of power!

Just remember, with leadership
comes great responsibility.

You take care of your team
and you survive with honor!

Yes, yes, get on with it.

My battle tanks await.

Prepare yourselves,
slime licking schmork-krabs,

to face a series of trials!

The finish line is the
dreaded Fortress of... Pain!

Any mistakes and you
will be beamed away

to a loser's holding pen.

Ah-ah-aaah!

The Holding Pen of Pain!

- The holding pen is painful?
- Yes.

Does it have to be?

Not really.
Now move it out!

[singing]

Hey, no singing!

Get in step, shape up!

As you can see, brave
Invader Zim has begun

his journey to the
Fortress of Pain.

Anyone wanna bet
he gets blown up?

A thousand monies
something eats him!

OK. Anyone for chopped in half?

Ooooh! Me! I bet , monies.

You realize that if
nobody bets for Zim,

we could be out a lot of monies.

Any bets for Zim succeeding?

Come on!

You! Table-headed
service drone Bob!

You will bet ,
monies on Zim.

But I only make
monies every years.

, for Zim!

[cheering]

First, you must use your
wits to cross the Molten Pit

of Hideous Screaming Pain!

Your power-suits will
provide some protection

but nothing will defend
you from a stupid mistake.

Child's play!

We shall stand on
each other's shoulders

and fall forward,
forming a bridge to safety.

Why don't we just cut down
that tree and walk across?

It's safer and... you know--

[chattering]

Are we going to
have trouble, soldier?

[screams]

[squeak]

[screams]

Ow!

[grunting]

Can't... hold... on!

Arrrrgh! My head!

You're a horrible leader!

Victory!

Ohh.

That should'na happened.

This is the Stinking Canyon

of the Ferocious
Meat-Thirsty Hogulus!

Of Pain?

[grunting]

It's simple.

Navigate from this
end to the far end.

Alive!

Good luck.

I have a plan,

but I will need a volunteer
to distract the hog-beast.

Yes, sir! I am your loyal...

[screaming]

Let's go.

Another job well done!

What about your soldier Skoodge?

It's what Skoodge
would've wanted.

I mean, oh, no!

Skoodge is in trouble!

[grunting]

Hmm!

What do you think you're doing?

I'm programming my
suit to steal energy

from the rest of
the team. Here I go.

Aaah!

Arms...

and legs...

useless!

With enough power,
I can lift the boulder

and throw it at the monster.

No one will say Zim never tried!

[screaming in background]

Uh... takes a little
while, doesn't it?

OK, I tried.

The Fortress of Pain awaits!

[humming]

If Zim finishes,

I get million monies...

Oh, Bobby, it
appears I need a refill.

Ah! Get it yourself!

Curse you, Zim!

Aaah!

I am invincible!

All I had to do was
reprogram the laser turrets

to lock in on, uh...

What's her name?
That one person.

But she was a fine soldier

and better luck
to her in the future.

Aah!

Behold, the Fortress of Pain!

What was your name again?

Throbulator!

Yes. Soldier,

I have a very special
mission for you.

[grunting]

Throbulator...

Feel nothing anymore.

Good work, team!

Team?

Oh, well.

Well, I made it to the Fortress.

Victory is mine!

Oh, no, Zim. No victory for you!

Because of your incompetence
your entire squad was eliminated.

You are a disgrace to Hobo- .

But I survived every trial!

I'm the ultimate soldier!

I must get my equipment
or I... won't get it!

Then defeat me, Zim!

Let this be your
final challenge!

I'm really looking
forward to twisting you

into a twisted, horrible knot...

Made from you.

Hey, that's neat.

This circle is surrounded
by a transportation field.

First person to be
pushed through that field

gets transported to...

The Holding Pen of Pain?

No, it's full.

Now the loser gets sent to...

The Outhouse of Madness!

Huh?

[screams]

I have you now!

Uh... now?

Uh... now?

You are the worst
student I've ever had!

Perhaps you have
trained me too well.

No, really. You're the worst.

Your cheating arm trick
won't help you now, Zim.

No teammates left
to steal power from!

Hah! Wait!

Aaaaaah!

Zim! I escaped from the canyon!

I made it! I'm alive-- Oooof!

Where am I? What am I seeing?

Oh, my... oh, no!

Uhhh! Aaaah!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Put me down! Aaaaah!

Um... this completes
my evaluation.

The Tallest can deny
my requests no longer!

I am Zim! Bring me the tanks!

You can serve
yourselves from now on!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

It sure was nice of the Tallest

to give me my own ship.

And they tell me if I prove
myself as a fleet commander,

they'll give me my tanks
and my own battle cruiser.

Hey, why are these
controls locked anyway?