02x05 - The Girl Who Cried Gnome

[bunniefuu]

[crash!]

Wa... ha ha ha ha ha!

[squealing]

[squeaks]

Want to buy some
chocolate-covered

ninja-star cookies, mister?

Huh?
[Chime]

No, thank you.

[squealing]

What are you doing?

No! Get away! No!

[grunting and shrieking]

[grunting]

[beeping]

Computer:
Perimeter warning.

What is it this time?
I haven't the patience for--

Aaah! Girl with cookies!
Girl with cookies!

Computer!
Release the robot gopher!

♪ La la la la ♪

♪ I love to eat
my cookies ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ I'm here to sell
my cookies ♪

[screams]

Ah, ah, wah!

Waaah!

My-- Aaah!

[screaming]

Excellent, gopher!

Just as I programmed you to do.

Now, complete your task!

Oh! Ah! Wah!

[chittering]

I don't remember
programming that.

Hey! That girl's
caught in some kind

of crazy hole of some sort!

Call the media!

Sweet mother of corn!
That girl's in trouble!

How's my makeup?

Cameras!

Uhh!

OK, I can-- I can fix this.

Think, Zim.
I am Zim!

Uhh! Uh uh uhh!

[squeals and yells]

[cackling]

We're on TV!

We're on TV!

A seemingly quiet neighborhood.

An innocent girly ranger.

A horrible tragedy.

Hundreds have gathered
in front of this freakish home

to provide emotional support.

Whee!

Freakish home?
That's good!

They don't suspect
a thing. Still...

This has gotten out of hand.

The child has brought
unwanted attention.

So many human eyes,
blind as they are,

might notice something
about my secret base.

[beeping]

I'll have to step up
the house's appearance

to make it look more normal!

[electronics humming]

Do not be alarmed!
We are here to help you.

Get away!
Get away!

Waaah!

Oh, no.

Waah!

Mom, Dad!
Look at me!

I'm in a hole!
[Giggles]

Robo-parents!

Cloud their minds

with some neighborly
hospitality.

[mechanisms whirring]

Does anybody want muffins?

Now, there...

Waaah!

[squealing]

My goodness.

It's worse than I thought!

Somebody call the president!

That should do it for the base.

Now, GIR, time for
some amazing disguises!

[laughs]

[bird caws]

Hey, what's going on?

I don't know.

[quietly] But don't
eat the muffins.

[grunts]

Gah gah!

Oof!

- That's Zim's house.
- Shh.

Here we are at minute
of this poor girl's ordeal.

Moofy, how do you feel?

- Unh.
- Moofy!

My--my leg's asleep.

[wailing]

[chime]

Crowd: Awww.

Just how many more minutes
will she have to suffer

before rescue crews
can free her, huh?

Why don't they
just pull her out?

She's lodged in real good.

I heard her foot's
pokin' out over in China.

Plus, she screams real scary

when anybody comes near her.

Look at her.

She's just smiling and waving.

She just loves the attention.

Wait a minute.

Attention!

If I can get up there,

I can expose him on national TV!

Yes, I've received word
that Presidentman himself

is on his way
to the scene to take over

this delicate,
delicate operation.

The Earth leader
is on his way here?

GIR, this is
getting bad -- very bad.

Still, we may be able
to use this.

[Dib grunting]

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Let me through.
Excuse me.

Saving the human race here.

Muhh.

Hey, watch where you're going!

[growls]

Sorry.
I have to get by.

It's a planetary
salvation thing, so just--

you gotta buy some cookies
first to support Moofy.

[growls]

I don't have time for this!

The world doesn't
have time for this!

Don't you want to support Moofy?

Fine! Whatever!

Hey, this isn't money!
This is ham!

You can't pay
for cookies with ham!

Why was there ham in my pocket?

[ninja stars clanking]

Unh! Uhh! Aah!

[Girly Rangers screaming]

Rescuer: Hey!

Hey! Dodie dodie
dodie doh!

Get away.
[Shrieks]

I'm only trying to help you.

Waaah!

Ooh. Whoa!

Goodness gracious.

Let me get you out of there.

[screams]

Ooh, ooh, ohh!

[squeals]

[clink]

[shrieking]

[shrieking continues]

[shriek ceases]

Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen!

All the way
from President-land...

I give you...

Presidentman!

[cheering, applause]

Mr. President, what
are you going to do

to help this helpless child?

I pledge that
this fine Girly Ranger

will be rescued...

With both legs intact!

[cheering, applause]

Zim: I think I may
have discovered a way

to end Moofy's pain--
to end all your pain.

Zim!

[mutters] Excuse me.

Mr. Presidentman,

since the unfortunate
filthy ranger

won't let anyone
close enough to rescue her,

the only way to get
her out will be to use

sonic vibrations.

Sonic vibrations?

Silence! And yes.

Using a giant nuclear-powered
shaking machine,

we can shake the entire Earth,

jarring the poor girl loose.

We don't have that technology.

You can borrow mine.

A machine like that
would destroy

the surface of the planet.

All life as we know--

Presidentman:
That just might work!

People love shakin'!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

GIR, let's get out of here!

Soon the Earth will shake

until all the humans
are nothing but soup.

Soup!

You, get me the nuclear
people on the phone.

I want those vibrations.

Yes, sir!
[Dialing]

Wait, I have a better plan!

Who's that crazy boy?

Just tunnel under her.

She'll never know you're coming,

so she can't fight it,
and her leg'll be fine.

And if you just happen to
find an alien base down there,

you can destroy it!

What's he talking about?
Where's the charts?

Where's the pretty pictures?

This plan is stupid.

They, uh, have the, uh,

nuclear people on the line.

If you shake the Earth,
we'll all be destroyed!

That's what Zim wants!

That's a chance we're
all going to have to take.

Get him out of-- Gaah!

Wait a minute.

Are those chocolate
ninja-star cookies?

Yes. Yes, they are.

Whoa! I love
ninja-star cookies.

I'll make you a trade.

[GIR screeches]

[squeaks]

At last, GIR!

We're finally through
with this horrible planet.

Thanks to this delicious boy,

we have a new plan for
freeing young Moofy.

We are gonna use
this digging machine.

The Dib. The Dib!

I don't care how
delicious he is, he's evil!

Now they'll find the base.

There's only one thing I can do.

You gotta make biscuits?

You gotta make biscuits?

You gotta make biscuits!

You gotta make biscuits!

No, GIR. Never.

I never want you to
mention biscuits ever again.

Woman: Hey, what's
that floppy guy doing?

He's gonna rip her leg off!

Get off my lawn, cookie beast!

No!

I'm gonna be on TV forever!

[shrieks]

[growling and whining]

[growls]

[grunts]

[Moofy squeaks]

[cheering, applause]

[camera shutters clicking]

And so the saga of Moofy
comes to a happy end

thanks to the efforts
of this mysterious hero.

No one knows who he was
or where he came from,

but we all know that he's here--

in our hearts.

It's not a mystery.
It's Zim!

He's an alien.
He lives right here.

He tried to destroy us all.

[sirens]
[applause]

[grunts]

Hey, I really am stuck.

Wait, come back.

Help!

[whistling]

[cackles]

Aah! No, no!

[screams]

[gasps]

[mechanisms whirring]

H-Help.