05x03 - A Rat, A Rat

[bunniefuu]

Holy Christ, man! What the f*ck?!

f*ck off, and leave me alone.

Sheree, I just want you to put some
clothes on so I can arrest you.

I can make the charges go away.

You mean nark?

A little information —
it's all I want.

You get the charges against
Sheree dropped, I'll do it.

They've dropped the charges!
(LAUGHS)

Nadine's made E. Good for her.

It's legal.
HAYDEN: But it will be classified.

So we have to sell them before then.

I loved you.
I loved you too.

I need you to take me
home and f*ck me now.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS, CELLPHONE RINGS

Hello?
Van, how long does it take
you to buy a pack of nappies?

Uh, I'm on my way.

Are you eating those rusks again?

No. I'm not some baby.

SIREN WAILS

Ah, sh*t.

Oh, some Cops.

Van, did you pay
for those groceries?

Yes, I paid for them,
all right? Quit hassling me.

Oh, bollocks.

Van, it's been a while.

Officer Gerard,
how the devil are you?

I'm curious, Van, phew, to
know what you've got for me.

You mean Nicky Greegan, right?

Mm.

I'm all over it, bro. Yeah,
yeah, totally, in a big way.

There's no way, man.

TECHNO MUSIC

LAUGHTER

So you've joined his gym?

Yeah. It's a real good way to keep
an eye on him, eh, cos he's always
there.

What have you learnt, Van?

That it's who keeps an eye on you
that you really need to worry about.

TECHNO MUSIC

You think this is a joke?

What is this for?
Speeding.

But I wasn't speeding.

Well, be glad I didn't
do you for possession.

Two hundie?! Man, this sucks!

Yeah, and next time I need you,
I'll track you down in the Rusty
Nail. How about that?

All right. OK.

f*ck!

HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK'

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

Hey, uh,...

I was just wondering
if you had any, uh,...

you know, jobs you needed doing?

What sort of jobs?

You know, I'm just after some,
um, extra cash, you know?

Yeah, fair enough.
Yeah, with the twins coming.

I'm glad you came to me. It was
good to keep it in the family.

Yeah, well, that's what I thought.

We're not talking cleaning
toilets, are we?

No.

That's not really
what I had in mind.

Well, as it happens, there
might be something in the wind.

Yeah?

Yeah. I'll let you know.

Sweet.

All right, I've narrowed it down
to two options for the brand —
Ommpff...

Ommpff?
Yeah, Ommpff. It says 'go
forward', 'get up and go'.

No, it says 'freaky little people
from Willy Wonka's factory'.

They are Oompa Loompas—

We're not selling something called
Ommpff. What's the other one?

Get f*cked.

As in, take this pill and
you will get? Or go and get?

As in, who put you in charge?

Jethro liked Ommpff.

Jethro has no taste. He should stick
to buying pill presses so when he
gets back from Brisbane,

we can make pills. But we won't be
able to sell them, because they
won't have a name.

You find a name.

I am not the self-proclaimed
marketing genius. I'm just the girl
who wants to start making money.

As if it's that simple.

Isn't it?
We won't be selling anything
until I finish my research.

What research?

Without the contraindicators,
I can't find the maximum dosage.

Science sh*t — my second language.

We can't sell something
that can mess people up.

Getting messed up is the point.

I don't want blood on my hands
because some fool takes too many.

(SCOFFS)
I want to know how many is too many.

[ Cut the dramatics.
It is a happy pill.

Just slap a label on the packet that
says, 'Take one and have a good
time.'

ALARM BEEPS
Feeding time.

Is that geek for 'let's do lunch'?

Nadine's lab rats.

You're not feeding
this sh*t to rats?

You can't ask a human to take
them. They'd have to be stupid.

I know heaps of stupid people,
and people are actually humans —
humans being our target market.

I have ethics, Loretta.
I could save us a hell
of a lot of time.

Can you give me a ride, doll?

(SCOFFS)

Yeah.

She is a genius, OK? This is her
baby, so we're going to do things
her way.

Whatever, doll.

Stick to your knitting, eh?

Hey, bro.
Oh. Where you been?

Oh, I just had some stuff to do,
you know? Can I get a beer, man?

Stuff?

Mm. You know, stuff.

Maybe I do, or maybe I don't.
Nothing you want to tell?

Nope, don't think so.

It's a sad day when a friend
goes behind a friend's back

and does things he doesn't
tell the other friend about.
Are you ripped, bro?

No. It is pretty low, and you ain't
said nothing about this sh*t to me.

And it is way out
of character for you.

You know?

I know, and I'm processing it.

f*ck!

I'm so sorry, man.

f*ck, I was made to do it, man.
I had to — for Sheree and for
the babies.

It's a sad day when a man has to
join the gym just to satisfy his
woman.

The gym?
You joined the gym. What did
you think I was meaning?

The gym, I know. f*ck.
I should've told you.

You was embarrassed, weren't you?

I was. I thought you might think
I was, like, going gay or something.

Nah, bro, that's cool. I know
you're not gay, cos if you were,
then, well... (CLEARS THROAT)

So how'd you know?

Hey, Van, show us your g*ns.

Whoo-hoo!

Your sister lives with Greegan,
and she works with my wife.

Got it.

Ah, no!

MAN YELLS ON TV

Boys.

I thought you were bringing
home a six-pack.

Eh?

Come on. Lift your shirt.
Mum.

ALL LAUGH
Get off!

Careful, son. Bloke I knew in the
can, he could squat pounds.

Thighs like thunder,
but haemorrhoids like grapes.

I'm just getting fit.
What's wrong with that?

Nothing, love.

You know, for my babies —
carrying two twins around?

Why did it have to be Nicky's?

Because it was...
CELLPHONE RINGS

...cheap through Pascalle.

Personal trainer, Van? Checking
you've applied your thigh lubricant?
(LAUGHS)

Yep.
That thing I said that I might
need you for — it's a go.

OK, yep.

You should come over.
Tonight?

Get here when you can.
OK.

Van?

Don't sneak up on me, man!

Are you stressed out?
No.

Oh, well, that's a shame, because
I've got this really good thing for
stress.

What kind of thing?

It's a new pill I'm testing —
guaranteed to help you relax
and focus.

Oh yeah?
Yeah. If you take three,
hey, let's make it four.

Oh. Yeah, yeah. I get it. Then
I jump off the roof, go blind for
a week, sh*t my pants,

run round and get teased by the
whole school for two f*cking years.
Go away.

Mate. That was quick.

Yeah, well, I'm, uh,
I'm ready for whatever.

Good, good.
Yeah.

You better do a good job,
or my sh*t will hit your fan.

What are you doing here?

Duh, I live here.

Yes, I know, but—

And I said I didn't think you were
up to it, but Nicky insisted we keep
it in the family, so...

So... what?

Pascalle wants a job done?

Problem's with the man pad.
We have storage issues.

Yeah, and maybe in guy world piling
sh*t everywhere is good storage,
but not in mine.

I've drawn up what I want.

Whoa.

I'm going to go see Kasey.
Have fun. Don't stuff it up.

Name your price. cr*ck into it.

Hold on, hold on.
So this is the job?

Well, yeah.

Oh. You know what? There's a much
better man for this job. Yeah,
another Tool Guy — the Gooch.

He's a mean carpenter.

I thought you wanted the work.
Yeah, I do.

Van, you came to me.

Yes, I know, but— but, Nicky, this
is very technical and... (SIGHS)

Dude, I was kind of after something,
um, something a little less toolish,
little more night,

uh, under the table.

Jesus. Van, why didn't you just say?

Well, yeah, because I didn't want
to put you on the spot and...

That's cool.

Come see me tomorrow.

Yeah?
I might have just the thing.

MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ON RADIO

Grandpa, what if I told you that I
have an all-natural herbal pill that
incorporates the benefits of Viagra

and Ecstasy? You'd be
keen to try it, right?

If it's natural, it'll be piss weak.

It's not.

I don't need Viagra, thanks. I have
Ngaire. Just the thought of that
woman gives me a big stiffy.

OK— Here we go, like clockwork.
I'm sporting a whopper in me
trousers now.

Grandpa, there are things
that are better left unsaid.

You could take a couple or
three and tell me how you go.

No time. Better be off. Nothing
like a morning shag to clean out
the pipes.

GLOVES THUD

Hey, Munts.

Hey, bro.

Joining up?
Nah, Kasey's taking up Pascalle's
offer of mates' rates.

Oh.

Yeah, yeah, keep that
ass tight, you know.

Ah.

Yeah. So you are you
working out, then?

(EXHALES) Yeah. I'd better...

Yeah.

Munter.
Oh, hey.

I hear your woman's
joining us. You next?

Nah, I'm already cut up, eh?

(LAUGHS) Van.

STRAINED: Yep.
Let's talk, eh?

[ Oh, OK. Yeah, sure.

(EXHALES) So I'll catch
ya later, eh, bro?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy. Sweet.

(GRUNTS, LAUGHS) My pecs will be
bigger than yours, sunshine. Ow.

Have you done that thing yet?
Uh, what thing?

My storage thing, dumbo.

Van.

It's under control, all right?
Just leave me alone.

Keen to do some driving for me?

Driving? Yep. Sweet, yep. I've done
driving before. I can do that.

(SCOFFS) Good. I had to give my guy
the flick, so, um, I need you to
jump in tonight.

Oh, that's soon.

Well, Thursdays are big nights,
Fridays and Saturdays too.

You're going to do three jobs in
three nights? Sheesh, you don't
muck around, do you?

Van, are you expecting
to rob something tonight?

Aren't you?
No. No, the driving you'll
be doing will be for a lady.

Oh, right, and then
she'll do a robbery.

(LAUGHS) No, Van. No, you'll be
chauffeur to a very attractive lady.

(CHUCKLES) You want
me to drive a hooker?

Yeah, well, not just any hooker.
I'm entrusting you with a very
special lady. Name is Angel.

f*ck, I didn't know you did that.

I contract when it's needed, you
know, a bit of driving, a bit of
muscle if things cut up rough.

So you good with this?

Yeah. Sure.

I'll text you a time and place.

Sweet.

So, what was, um, you and
Nicky meeting about, hmm?

It was nothing.
I'll get more nachos.

No, we've already got nachos.

Yeah, no, I'll get some more.

Dude, you're acting weird.
No, I'm not.

The gym, secret meetings with Nicky.

Oh, no, no. It wasn't a secret, bro.
No, it was just about building this
dumb thing for Pascalle.

Tool Guys stuff?
Yeah.

Hello? Who puts the
guys on to your tool?

Look, it was a dumb-arse job for
Pascalle, hmm? I turned it down.

Working for her could be intense.

Yeah, so I told them
to get the Gooch.

Nice. That way the Tool Guys get to
still do it, but the Tool Guys don't
actually have to do it.

BOTH: Yeah.

I'll get the extra nachos.

Sweet.

What's the point? Whatever I
suggest, you'll just take the piss.

No, I won't.
Yes, you will.

Hayden, we need a name.
Get on with it.

READS: Hip Candy.

Like candy you wear on your hip?

Yeah. You take it
out of your pocket—

Hayden, OK, maybe in the s that
would have been a fantastic name.
Today it is really really lame.

Nadine has a say in this as well.

Nadine the rat girl likes—

Cut the 'Nadine is a freak' routine.

Nadine is a freak!

Loretta, we're on to a winner.
Don't screw this up over bullshit.

You think I care about
you and Nadine f*cking?

Yeah, it had crossed my mind.
Not mine.

Good, cos I'd really hate to wake
up and find my house on fire.

What I do care about is how long
you and Nadine are spending pissing
around with rats.

KNOCK ON DOOR
'Sup, homies?

Aaron, we are busy here.
It's cool.

No. No, actually, we're done.
It'll take as long as it takes.

Yeah, before the next
ice age would be good.

(SIGHS) This better be f*cking good.

I have a problem.
You don't say?

Well, don't be angry, OK? But, um,
I think it's a, uh, ethical dilemma.

OK, so Van asked me to ask the
Gooch to do this thing for Pascalle.

How's it a problem?

Well, I could do it. I know it
would really test my skills,
but I am ready to be tested.

And the thought of building
something for Pascalle, well,

just thinking about it fills me
with joy and hope, and it makes
the teeniest little bit hard too,

but that's a bad thing, isn't it?

No.

No, actually, Aaron. Not at all.

Yeah?

Yeah, and as your manager, I'm happy
to say that you should definitely go
for it.

Steal the Gooch's job?

Mm-hm. On the condition that
you do something for me too.

Totally. Anything, especially if it
involves a threesome with Pascalle.

I have pills. They need testing.
What kind of pills?

They're a new natural
herbal supplement.

They give you a buzz?

They give you more energy, help you
think clearly, give you confidence.

Oh, that couldn't be bad.

Make you feel a bit sexier.

Well, is that possible?

So tomorrow at, say, midday,
I want you to take three pills.

Then after work, meet me at
the Rusty, and I'll ask you
a few questions about how you feel.

And I can do Pascalle's thing?

You're the man, Aaron.

I so am. Dates with both West women
on the same day? Ha, I'm walking on
air in air-walking shoes.

You off out, babe?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, got a call-out —
a Tool Guy thing.

You told Nicky?

Uh, no. Why?

I thought you were supposed
to be driving for him tonight.

Um,... yeah.

Well, I was...

Hon, it's OK. I like
you working for him.

What? So you're OK with
me driving a hooker?

Yeah.

Even if, uh,

she's, like, really hot?

Nicky says that she's a big earner.

I trust you not to
get it on with her.

Choice.

You know I'm doing
this for us, right?

Babies and stuff.

You're my man.

(KISSES)

CHARLIE ASH'S 'O BABY'

CAR HORN BEEPS

♪ Oh, baby.

♪ Oh, baby.

♪ Oh, baby.

♪ Oh, babe, babe.

♪ Oh, baby.

♪ Oh, baby.

♪ Oh, baby. ♪

Who the f*ck are you?

Van.
Where's Tony?

Who's Tony?

My usual. I only ride with Tony.

Oh, uh,...

Yeah, Nicky let him go.

Did he just?
Yep.

So, what? You expect me to ride
in that? Tony had a Merc.

Oh.

We'll go in mine.

Hey, I ain't riding in that thing.

Well, I can't drive myself.

What have you got a car for, then?

Clients like me to drink, and I
can't get done for DIC, darling.

One regular likes me to pour sambuca
in his cr*ck before I lick him out.
No.

Honey, I've got clients with
hard-ons about to explode.
Let's vamoose.

Unless you want me to tell Nicky
how you left Angel outside on
the street?

OK. OK.

It's nice and small. We can
get to know each other better.

Neat (!)

(GRUNTS)

That took way too long.

Thought I was losing my touch,
but no. Naughty little minx must've
whacked off before I got there.

(SIGHS) Come on.
No rest for the wicked.

Frances Hodgkins Ave.

♪ Come on.

ROCK MUSIC

♪ Ooh, yeah.

ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES

♪ Come on. ♪

ANGEL GARGLES LOUDLY

You know what I loved about Tony?
He used to do this amazing thing
with his tongue.

It was called talking, darling.

He was something of
a conversationalist.
Us girls love a good natter.

OK, but you're not
really a girl, OK?

Ooh, gosh, rumbled.

What took you so long?

I figured it out—

Well, actually, Van, I'm more than
your average girl. I'm the woman of
your dreams — a woman with a penis.

(CHUCKLES) Not my dreams, mate.

That's for you to believe
and for me to find out.

Oh yeah.

Do guys actually,
uh, they want that, eh?

Like I said, I'm the
woman of their dreams.

Gays, eh?

Bis mainly, and straights
who can't admit they're bi.

Mm.
And straights who are looking
for a little something extra.

Oh. (GIGGLES)

The world's full of
unknown pleasures, Van.

Mm.

Right,... (GRUNTS) here's yours.

Choice, thanks.
And the rest is for Tricky Nicky.

What? All that for just
for organising a driver?

(SCOFFS) Is that what he told you?

Oh God, you're such an innocent.

Nicky's our boss, darling.

So, you want your sweetener?

Oh! No, no. No f*cking way, man.

They all succumb to Angel's
charms in the end.

Oh yeah.

It's happened.

Good boy.

I'm driving one of Nicky's call
girls. Hey, hey, check this out.

That's a lot of ping, huh?

Are you telling me that Mr Greegan
is running prostitutes?

Yep. Yeah.

He drives them and
charges for security.

He takes a cut. So that's
us, eh? Call it quits?

Van, prostitution isn't illegal.

Eh?

Oh, since when?

Since the Prostitution
Law Reform Act, .

Get the f*ck out.
They made it legal?

Yes, Van.

sh*t.

Man.

OK, right.

But... how about how these aren't
just hot chicks in miniskirts, bro.

No, no, no. The one I was driving
was a guy dressed up like a chick.

Well, yeah, he actually thinks
he is a chick in a miniskirt,

but the point is, he's doing freaky
sh*t, man, with other guys.

Wow (!)
Yeah, can you believe that?

You haven't heard of the
h*m* Law Reform Act either.

Oh, you're sh1tting me.
Van, consenting adults can do
whatever the f*ck they like.

But this is NZ.

Are you trying to piss me off?
I need something better than this.

Well, what else can I do?

It's not my problem, Van,

but it's certainly yours.

What do you want?

Tool Guy at your service. Here to
build a palace fit for a princess.

I just want somewhere to store sh*t.

Well, I'm your
storage-sh*t-solution guy.

No, you're not.

But it's free.
Free?

Apart from materials,
but my labour will be free.

Why?
Cos that's the kind of guy I am.

Uh, I know what kind of guy
you are, Aaron, a pervert.

No. No, I'm not. I've changed.

I've got the Tool Guy code.
We'll call it... a labour of love.

Ew, no.
Of like, then, and I'll
throw in materials.

OK. You can build it.

Over there.
Yeah, OK.

But you are not allowed to be pervy,
so no touching stuff and no sniffing
stuff.

It won't happen, I promise.

And it has to look like this.

Sweet. Oh, that's, uh, yeah,
well, that's interesting.

Because I'm letting you build my
storage in no way means I like you.

I know. It's cool.

OK.

ROCK MUSIC

COMMENTATORS SHOUT

KNOCK AT DOOR

Come in.
Hey.

Hey.
You have fun last night?

What?

Oh, yeah. (CHUCKLES) Yeah,
he was different, all right.

How many stops did you guys make?

Like, five, I think.

Oh, it adds up.

How about that?
She's being cautious,

sussing you out.

Here you go.

For me?
Happy?

Yeah, bro, I guess.

Good, cos I need you to keep
a close eye on Angel, OK?

What you mean 'close'?

Very close. I want to know
exactly what she's up to.

No, you don't, cos I tell you what,
all she does is f*cking suck—

(LAUGHS) No, no, Van, Van, Van,

I mean tricks against take.

You're my eyes, Van.

Wait, wait. You want me to...?

I wouldn't ask you to nark unless
it was important, but she has been
ripping me off.

I had to let Tony go, cos he turned
a blind eye, and she cut me out.

Nah, man—
One thing I cannot stand is
people going behind my back.

You know, I can understand that.

I can trust you not to fall
for Angel's wily ways, right?

Yeah, no, there's no
chance of that, bro.

(CHUCKLES) I figured as much.

OK, test results to date.
Yay (!)

You wanted progress;
here's progress.

Who are Robert, Simon and Lol?

The rats in Nadine's laboratory.

Also three members of The Cure from
their Faith album. Best band ever.

You named a manky old rat after
Robert Smith of The Cure?

He's not manky. He's beautiful.

You're a special person, Nadine.

Robert and Simon had the compound in
their water. Lol is the blue line.
He's my control. The drummer.

Drummers always miss
out on the good stuff.

The black line shows a trend.

Robert and Simon made efforts to
seek out water from the infused
trough

when stressed about changes in their
environment. They were confused, but
under the influence of the chemial,

they became calm, focused and seemed
to enjoy the new challenges ahead.

Robert showed surprisingly acute
judgement, leadership abilities
and was alert and responsive.

Also noted — after drinking
from the pill trough,

Robert, particularly, exhibited
creative solutions to problem
solving.

And he and Simon showed increased
ability to solve maze problems.

They had increased spatial awareness
and were able to make sustained
efforts to seek out food sources.

And this is really amazing —
I detect a greater confidence
in the pill-affected rats,

especially Robert. So cute.

INSINCERELY: Great,
that sounds fantastic.

So all looking good on side effects,
but I still don't know the maximum
dosage.

We can only find out scientifically.

See how many pills Robert and
Simon need before they spazz out?

No, by continued research.

OK, whatever spins your wheels.
Great.

No, no, no. So suddenly you're OK
with the scientific approach?

Show me a graph, I go weak at the
knees. You keep up the great work,
Nadine.

And I'm sure things will become
clearer sooner or later. Maybe
sooner.

TECHNO MUSIC

PHONE BEEPS

You going to check that?

No.
It might be a job for us.

It's not.
How do you know?

Cos I know.
It's the fourth one in half an hour.

Bro, it's my lunch break.
I'm not answering the phone.

OK, no need to get antsy with me.

Sorry, man, I'm just tired.

It's what you get when you're
at the gym. I'm tired too.

Kasey's been fully on a root-fest,
and with this gym fever you started,

she's been coming home extra horned
up. So I'm, like, rooting % of
the time,

but still giving the Tool Guys %,
so I'm, like, giving % of %
all of the time.

What's your f*cking problem?

I don't have a problem.
Someone has.

It's not me.
Well, what is it, then?

(SIGHS)

Vannie. Van, come here, you naughty
little minx. You've been avoiding
your Angel.

WOLF WHISTLE
Why are you here?

A very helpful girl at your office
number told me where I could find
you, so come on.

Oh, aren't you going to introduce
me to your, uh, friend?

WHISPERS: Munter, Angel.
Angel, Munter.

Hi, Munter.

This is supposed to be at night.

Honey, any time's the right time
for what Angel has to give. Now
off we go.

f*ck me.

ANGEL: Left here.
VAN: Which one?

with the white fence.
Oh, Van, in here.

Look, how many ways can I say it,
man? I only do nights, all right?

Angel's afternoon delights —
they're the best little earners.

You're not—

Nicky never said anything
about doing days, man.

Hey.

What Nicky doesn't know
doesn't hurt him.

DRILL WHIRRS

Oh my God.

No, you are a goddess,

and this is an altar to you from me.

It's not like my drawing.

No. No, it's better.
No, much better.

You want storage? This is
storage with extra storage.

I mean, what I've done here is
I've put space, you know, inside
of space to create you space.

Yeah? (LAUGHS)

(SNIFFS)

Oh, you smell amazing. Amazing.

We've talked about the creepy stuff.

Yeah, yeah. No time for that —
work to do, space to create.

OK, well, I'll just leave you to it.

Don't!
Look what Angel has for her Van.

Engineering students celebrating
their graduation.

Come on.

Cheer yourself up with this.

Well, that's heaps.

Well, so it should be.

What about Nicky?

Well, he's not out here
working his butt off.

What if he asks?

Why would he?

Well, I don't know, but...

Vannie,...

what's going on?
Nothing.

You wouldn't be lying to your Angel?
No.

Because the boy who lies to Angel
might end up with a stiletto to
the scrotum,

which will seriously...
(DEEP VOICE) f*cking hurt.

Uh...

Nicky's on to you, OK?
He's watching you.

You're spying on Angel for Nicky?

I didn't ask to, honest.

My girlfriend's pregnant with twins.
I'm trying to do the right thing.

People keep changing the rules and
getting me to do stuff. I'm f*cked
if I know what to do.

Did he make you do it?
Yes.

Kind of.

Tricky Nicky. I know
what he's like, doll.

Look, I didn't want to,
OK? I f*cking didn't—

Shh.

Poor boy.

Better out than in, eh?

But don't let it happen again.

OK.

And, um, no need to mention our
little tete-a-tete to Nicky, eh?

He'll only be mean
to poor old Angel.

So, uh, you won't tell?

No.

WHISPERS: Good.

Can you please take your
hand off my crotch?

You don't know what you're missing.

Mm.

I'm fine with that.

Thank you.

DRILL WHIRRS

Sorry about that.

I knew gym work could mess with
a man's mind, but going to trannies
is out there.

I'm not going anywhere with her,
all right? Plus, she is not even
a her, bro. It's a him.

No kidding (!)

DRILL WHIRRS

f*ck. You wouldn't understand.

How can I understand when
you don't tell me anything?

Nothing to tell.
Obviously (!)

I don't want to talk about it.

You never do. You don't tell me
nothing, man. Off with your gym
mates and trannies.

I shouldn't bothered
coming back, bro.

Nah, you shouldn't have.

f*ck this, man. This sucks.

What have you got?

Nothing.

Don't you jerk me around, son.

I have nothing, cos I'm not
interested in telling you anything.

Cos this whole thing, it's stressing
me out. All the lies and the
bullshit.

I don't want your sob story.

My best mate, Munter, thinks I've
gone gay, hanging out with women
who are men dressed up as women.

Tough job — someone's got to do it.

OK, well, that's where you're wrong.
Not me, not any more, OK?

You need to find someone that's good
at narking, cos I am sh*t at it, OK?

So I quit, OK? And there's
nothing you can do about it.

You should just leave Sheree alone,
cos she's never done anything bad.

Hey, hey. You quit?

There's nothing going on, man!

There's twisted people doing twisted
sh*t. I don't want anything to do
with it. So I'm gone. G-O-N — gone.

ENGINE REVS

MELLOW ROCK MUSIC

SAW BUZZES

PHONE RINGS

Yo.
Aaron, where are you?

Loretta, I can't make it.
I'm working.

We had a deal.

I'm on the time-and-space continuum.

Aaron, you said you'd
try those pills.

Done that.
All of them?

No probs. Done, done and done.

And?
Is that my sister?

The other West goddess, it is.

Get the f*ck over here.
Why? What's he done?

Get here now.

SAW BUZZES ]

He's weird. Weirder than usual.

Like, weird how? Describe it for me.

Why?
Because I want to know.

Why?

Tell me what's weird.
Has he been hallucinating?

He was singing Paradise City.
Why would he be hallucinating?

Has he tried to hug or fondle
you, anything like that?

Ew, no. He's just been working,
like, really fast.

Often he'll stop and tell me how
beautiful I am. Why would he be
hallucinating, Loretta?

Because I gave Aaron dr*gs.

(SIGHS) Why would you do that?

To see what would happen.

[ What kind of dr*gs?

Party pills. We need to see how many
is too many before we sell them.

You gave a human untried dr*gs?

No, I gave Aaron the dr*gs.

That is so wrong.

Yo, yo. Ladies, ladies, look.
Loretta's dr*gs aren't like other
dr*gs.

They're, like, happy, amazing
vitamins that give a man amazing
vision. See?

It's like you guys are in a skanky
old multiplex, but I'm in the IMAX,
yeah?

And I see the big picture up close
and personal, and I also see the
truth.

Which is...?

You think I'm a worm, yeah? Unfit to
be near you, but that's OK, because
I know you're a big bird.

Are you calling me Big Bird?

Uh, no, a big, beautiful bird.

And birds like worms, if only
to peck to death and eat,

but that's enough for me — to be
a giving worm. And that is what
my work is —

a gift to you, Pascalle.

Thanks, I think.

Don't think — know.
Got any more pills?

Yes, I do.
You can't keep feeding him pills.

It's OK. I'm good.
See? He's good. And from what
I can see, doing great work.

True.

It's all for you. I need
extra for the home run.

Actually, three might be pushing it.

The lady speaks the truth.
I'll take two.

What if he dies?

Well, none of The Cure have d*ed.

What?

They're lab rats, and Aaron's a big
rat when you look at him closely.

Well, I think it's sick.

Got to admit, though, he is
giving you great storage.

♪ Jump, jump.

♪ Jump, jump, jump, jump,
jump, jump, jump, jump...♪

I'm nearly done. Just one
more for the road, boss.

OK, but we're stopping at six.

Ooh-ooh-ooh. (CHUCKLES)

♪ Rat, rat, rat on your neighbour.

♪ Rat, rat, rat on your neighbour.
Rat, rat, rat, rat on your...♪

It's weird.
He'll be all right.

No, not that. You and Hayden getting
back together — that is weird.

It is a business opportunity,
that's all. Like you and Nicky.

We're not in business.
Yeah, that's what you think.

You're so cold-hearted.

No, I'm like Aaron. I see the truth.

And ruthless, treating
him like a lab rat.

And you're not ruthless?
Stealing Kasey, Mum's best worker?

That was a business opportunity,
and she wanted to leave.

THUD!

Oh my God.

OK, we have a result.

Aaron?

Aaron.

(SIGHS)

Yeah, that is so great.

Electric puha just came in
from the Naki last night.

We'll get so pregnant.

I can feel it.

And we're going to have
the best love child ever.

Because we love each other.

BANGING ON DOOR

Oh man, don't they have no respect?

Bloody Mormons.

Ignore them and root me.

LOUDER BANGING ON DOOR

BOTH MOAN AND GRUNT

How could you use an
unsuspecting person?

He wasn't unsuspecting.

I was up for it. I loved
every minute. Amazing ride.

See?

Especially the part when
Pascalle saved my life.

Your life was never in danger.

Oh sh*t, he's not breathing.
OK, come on, Aaron. Come on.

(YELPS)

Ew, tongue.

You could've f*cked this up.

He got so involved with his
work that he forgot to drink.

He got dehydrated.
I just spun out, dude.

And now we know the magic number —
five pills good, six pills bad.

We can stop pissing around
and go to market.

With a label of, 'Don't forget
to eat and drink or you're f*cked.'

Get it out there, man. It's gonna go
off. You know, everything I felt,
did, wanted, knew,

it was just so clear,
true and awesome,

to the point of excellence.

(CHUCKLES) Best buzz ever.

And there it is.
There's what?

Our name.
What? Best Buzz Ever?

No, Excellence.

Excellence.
Hey.

You know that your job here
is definitely done, OK?

I know. I just wanted to say thanks
for, uh, allowing me to build for
you.

Wow, that's as good
as I remember it.

Yeah, it is.

Sorry about the tongue thing.

Oh, I just put that down to my
sister being an evil drug-pusher.

Well, even though I was high
as a kite, I meant it.

The tongue thing?

It was my way of saying
I love you, Pascalle.

Aaron.
That's cool. Don't worry.

Nah, I already have a fiance,
and even if I didn't—

I know. I totally know that
Goddess Pascalle would never
go for Aaron Spiller.

And that's OK, but I'll always
be there for you, Pascalle.

PHONE RINGS

It's like what I build — I'm solid.
I'm a dependable guy, and if there's
anything you ever need, anything—

That's really sweet.

Hi, Pascalle speaking.

You working out?

Uh, nah, bro, just came
to give you this.
Nice work.

Yeah, and, uh, to, um, tell you
that that's the last one, OK?

I can't do it any more.

Why?

It's the nights, man. I'm just too
tired, you know? So, uh, thanks,
man, but no thanks.

Hey, hey, hey. If Angel's giving you
sh*t, I can smack some sense into
her.

No. No, no. Don't do that, man.

She's OK. Plus, doing what she
does, man, that can't be easy.

Oh, she loves it.

(GIGGLES) She does, eh? Oh.

Oh, but all the same, bro.

Hey, maybe if you cut her
a straight-up deal instead
of all this percentage sh*t,

she might not want to shaft you.

Not that she is shafting
you or you're shafting her.

Yeah, all right. I'll have a think
about it, but, um, well, how about
less nights?

I mean, I don't want to lose you.
I—

Oh my God.
Hon, we're meeting here.

No, no, Kasey and Munter.

What?
Busted with a truck-load of weed.

Oh my God, you can't go to jail.

I won't. I mean, Munter is my utter
hero. He said it was all his.

The whole truck-load?

What?

You said you got busted
with a truck-load of weed.

It's just a saying, Pascalle.
How much was it?

A pound of the sweetest sensi
you ever laid eyes on.

What's the charge? Supply?

Mm. I'm going down this time.

No. Don't say that, bro.

You know what pisses me off, apart
from the cops keeping the weed?

f*ck, I scored last night off the
Raj, and the cops f*cking knew it,
man.

The Raj rolled over on you?

Nah. No way, not the Raj. Man, he's
solid, you know? But they must've
been following me all the way.

How do you know?

Cos that arsehole cop that nicked
your sister and screwed it up —
he was laughing at me, man.

He laughed? He said all he had
to do was follow me long enough
and he'd nick me for something.

What's his problem with me?
I've done nothing to him.

He's a f*cking arsehole,
that's what. I'll get you a beer.

Thanks, bro.

Why the f*ck did you do that?

Munter broke the law, Van.

He has nothing to do with Nicky.

If you'd done your job, I would've—

What has Nicky done that you've
got to f*ck over innocent people?!

All he does is own a stinky gym
and drive f*cking hookers.

There's more if you
know where to look.

I don't know how!

The point is, you don't resign. It's
up to me when and if you walk away.

Are we clear on that now?

You're close to Nicky, so quit
f*cking around and get me something.

And then you'll get Munter off,
right? Like you did Sheree?
You f*cking promise, man.

Well, I can't help anyone,
Van, till you help me.

CROSSING BEEPS, TRAIN HORN BLARES

HELLO SAILOR'S
'GUTTER BLACK' PLAYS

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.' ♪