03x08 - The Last Shout Part 02

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Absolutely Fabulous". Aired: 12 November 1992 – 7 November 1996.*
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Series features Edina Monsoon, a heavy-drinking, drug-abusing PR mogul who spends her time failing to lose weight and chasing bizarre fads in a desperate attempt to stay young and "hip".
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03x08 - The Last Shout Part 02

Post by bunniefuu »

There'll be no more sobbin'
when he starts shoutin' that old sweet song

When the red, red robin
comes bob, bob, bobbin' along, oh!

There'll be no more sobbin' when he
starts throbbin' his old sweet song...

♪ This wheel's on fire

♪ Rolling down the road

♪ Best notify my next of kin

♪ This wheel shall explode ♪

Eddy, it's been three days.
How long are you gonna keep this up?

Has Saffy been in?
Has she been in today?

Throw me that lipstick, darling.
I want to redo my stigmata.

Yeah, that'll do. Should fool her.
Brilliant.

Oh, and my foot.

I have one here, sometimes.

Have one here.

Couple here.

Do my lips'

- I don't do cookies!
- Gran!

Gran? You let her call you Gran?

Is she the Vulture?

Lordy, no. What is occurring, babe?

Ain't life exciting? Give me a five.

Are we havin' fun?

Are you living out there with them
in the camper vans?

Yes, dear. We don't want to be in the way.

That's good. I've got a lot to organize,
with the wedding.

- The wedding? ls the kid gettin' hitched?
- Yes. The crazy dingbat.

No, you wanna be free, like us!

Oh, come on! let's outta here.

I don't like being round young
ones too long, I get itchy.

Let's go crazy, ladies!

And, hey...

if the rig is rockin', don't come knockin'.

- Has Marshall rung yet?
- No!

When the red, red robin
comes bob, bob, bobbin' along

Along!

There'll be no more sobbin' when he
starts throbbin' that old, sweet song...

What?

Come closer, darling.

The veil of mist is slowly clearing now,
and I can see your little face.

I would have missed that
little face, darling.

- Sit, sit, sit, sit.
- What is it, Mum?

Darling, I summon you
and yet again you come.

I just want you to appreciate, darling,

that your mother was this close to death
on that mountain, darling.

Understand what I'm saying?
Pats, thou wast my witness, wast thou not?

I wasn't there, Eddy.

- I was at the brink, darling.
- I'm sure you were.

I'm sure you were. Sorry I didn't
have time to take a snapshot,

sorry I hadst no camcorder
with me at the time.

I mean, where's Jeremy bloody Beadle
when you need him?

Darling, I was brought back
from the abyss by God.

- Stop it!
- I was, darling.

I was taken up.
Up to Heaven, and I spoke with God.

- What about?
- Well, shopping, mainly.

Darling! Darling!

And God told me, darling, that I was saved.

You know what that means, don't you?

- It means that I, darling...
- No.

- I am...
- No.

- I am, darling!
- No!

- You've thrice denied me, that's proof.
- Stop this!

I know what you're trying to do,
and it won't work.

How low will you go, just to get attention?

You are not Jesus Christ.
You are not important.

You are not even interesting.
You're nothing!

I'm your mother!

You are a mean, selfish cow,
and I don't want to be here!

I don't want to talk to
you, I don't want to

look at you, you sad old
sack of horrible bones!

I wish you had d*ed!
I wish you were dead, and I hate you!

It's all right, darling.

- Mum...
- What, darling?

- What, sweetheart?
- I've got...

- I'm getting married.
- I know. I'm gonna help you, darling.

I don't want your help.

It's going to be very simple.

It'll be very...

simple.

That's all right. Come on.

Yulla, yulla.

- All right now, darling?
- Yes.

Go peacefully amongst the things.

Sweetheart, sweetheart, can I...

Sony, darling. Can I just ask you,
really gently, one little question?

- Where's my dolphin, darling?
- He's dead.

Just a bit of fin-flop, wasn't it?

Yes, it's Saffron Monsoon, for my wedding.

Well, at the register office,
I really wanted red roses.

Is that the price for a bunch?

Oh.

Well, could I have eight stems, please?

Thank you.

Darling, I know you don't want my advice,
but you have to ask for the flower as well,

not just the stem, sweetheart.

- Let me help you, darling.
- No. Dad's been very generous.

- Listen, I'll double anything...
- No, Mum, really. It's fine.

I'm glad you're here, but it's fine.

..bob, bob, bobbin' along...

Oh! Hey, kids. This is the Vulture.

Oh. We're not talkin' to her.

Caravan Club still with
us, I see, are they?

We're snowbirds, babe. Are we?

Our new T-shirt -
"I'm spending my kids' inheritance."

We're not older, we're just better.

And don't you mess with me, mother.

I'm packin' mace.

That's it, that's it.

Death!

It's just me, Bo. How you doin'?

God, is she still with us as well?

- Am I amongst friends?
- Are you ever?

I've just come to tell you
about the Scientologists.

They look like normal people.
They could be anyone.

Everyday Joes, like me.

You should be especially careful.
You're small, they'd snap you right up.

The goose flies at night.

Don't forget,
we're not talking to the young ones.

No, we only talk to the old one.

Hi, honey. D'you wanna join us?

Well, I'm off, Eddy.
Mags has fixed something up for me.

- What, a fashion director?
- Well, editor.

- That's OK. More hands-on, isn't it?
- Hopefully. Gonna do the shows today.

Why are you living here?

Darling, you know Oddbins had to expand.

- Separate section for spirits.
- It's a very good idea.

Anyway, I'm looking at a Majestic Wine
warehouse in South Ken this afternoon.

Good.

See you later, Eddy.

- You're doing great, gal.
- Yeah, keep it up, honey.

Where does she hide her liver spots?

She looks good, doesn't she?
What's she on?

Everything.

Hello?

- The goose flies at night.
- Oh, honey, hi. How are you?


Where are you?

I'm doing Being-ness.

Doing Being-mess, or being Doing-mess?

- I'm Having.
- You're Having? You've gotten to Having?

- Get outta there, baby!
- Not yet.

- I'm getting closer to Kirstie Alley.
- Kirstie Alley?

- She's perfect.
- What about John Travolta?

Forget Travolta. It's been a dog
and a cartoon. It can be a woman.

A dog-cartoon-woman
with Kirstie alley's voice. Genius!

Stay there, baby. Stay there.

Now, I'm Calamity Jane, OK?

Oh. Then I'm Doris Day.

And I'm the guy. I am Cyd Charisse.

And I start.

Can't we just get rid of them?

Why can't they be like old elephants?

Elephants just walk away and die with
some old bones, they don't hang around...

Get out!

I'm doing the splits!

Everybody, just get out!

I have got a wedding to organize,
and his parents are coming here tonight!

Understood, dear.

Excuse me.

Hi. Hi.

Well, hello.

I didn't see you in Milan,
at Prada last week.

Well, no. Miu's a very good friend of mine.
I had to be backstage, holding her hand.

- Oh. Hi, Mags.
- All right, Suzie?

- Hello, Pat. Good to see you back, mate.
- How was Milan?

Prada, Gucci, Armani, Versace -
sh*t kitsch with Mafia money.

But that's me talking, Pats.
I don't like 'em.

Donatella? Gibbon in a dress.

Valentino? I can't take anyone seriously
with a mouth like a constipated arsehole,

but who am I?

Merkin for an 'airdo
and women falling at his feet.

What do I know?
I don't like these new kids.

I tell you, I ain't hangin' about
any more warehouses

looking up models' cracks and flaps
dangling under the crêpe de Chine.

"New dimension in transparency"?
It's tits and minge in Clingfilm, mate.

Was that a jersey?

- It was silk.
- Silk, silk.

Zip-front, was it?

- Tab front.
- Tab front. Brown?

- Blue.
- Blue. Unreal?

Unreal.

There we are.

And the last one in Section One,
was that transparent?

- No.
- No? Oh.

- But boot-cut trousers?
- Yep.

And ankle-length? Or was it...

Help me, you bitch!

Right, I'm off. I'm taking a rest. I'll be
getting out of the spotlight for a while.

I'll be vacationing in the obscure world
of cable television for a couple of years.

A bog's a bog, at the
end of the day, innit?

Oh, I'm gagging for a shag.

- Walk faster, walk faster!
- Stop it! Oh!

- Dad.
- Hello, sweetie.

And Mum. Will I do, darling? I dressed
down. Didn't want to overawe them.

This looks lovely.

Yeah, looks lovely.

Fill us in a bit, darling.
What can we expect from the Uchli-uchlis?

- Ferruzzi.
- Ferruzzi, Ferruzzi.

Well, his dad is an industrialist
and art collector.

Wha... What-what-what?

An industrialist and art collector.

And the mother? And the mother?

- Air hostess.
- Yes, yes, yes!

- This fits, do you understand?
- What are you on about?

Tell me where they live, darling.

- They have homes in Madrid...
- Yes, Madrid.

- Bel Air, St Moritz, Del Mar...
- Yes, I've seen these people.

Where's Hello! magazine?

"Thyssen Wedding", "Von Taxis House Sale".
Here, darling. look!

"Khashoggi Camel Races."
look at this, darling.

Are these the people? Are these them?

These people are so mega-conglomerate,

one small withdrawal,
and Switzerland goes Third World.

It's not important.
They're coming to see me.

Absolutely.

- I hope they like me.
- Of course they'll like you.

They've gotta like you, darling.

Super-league rich, these people
could order China as a takeaway.

That'll be them.

I'll get it. I know how
to deal with these people.

You stay here.

I'm dressed wrong.

I'm coming, I'm coming. jewels.

- Hello.
- We're here to see Mrs Monsoon.

That's me.

Oh, how sweet of you to open your own door!

Ah, how nice. But I could never live
in a place like this. I'm claustrophobic.

Don't take your glasses off, Carlo.

- Saffy's downstairs.
- Oh, a staircase. How novel.

Careful, Carlo.
Imagine stepping down off the jet.

'Scuse me, 'scuse me.

We live at one level.
If you can go sideways, why go up?

Come in.

- Oh. Are we there?
- Yep.

I thought it might go on
through, but I see not.

I'm knocking through, there.

Do it in a minute, actually.

This is Saffron. This is her.

And what... lovely hair!

That'll come off, won't it, darling?

- This is my father.
- How delightful to meet you.

And you.

- Please, have some champagne.
- I've got Krug, I've got Krug.

Please, sit down.

I thought you were coming earlier
to help me sort this out.

Sony, I got held up.
You've done really well, this is great.

Oh, just Mummy's dog.
She's lovely, isn't she? Mother.

- What a week it's been.
- Yes, hasn't it?

I've had the Danish royal family staying
for the champagne challenge at Cowes,

the Lloyd-Webbers for the pré-Prix de l'Arc
Napoléon brandy stakes,

and... the Empress Farah Diba

for the Bollinger American Express
Venice Opera Celebrity Polo Cup.

Hell of a week, that.

Do you play polo?

- No.
- Yes.

I'm always up for a chukka,
aren't I, darling?

I hear you're an art collector.

We have collections
in three major capital cities.

- One in the National Gallery.
- Oh.

- Sony, was I frowning?
- I don't know, I wasn't looking.

Yeah, National Gallery.
I'm always in there.

What for?

Well, you know. For lunch, and...

- postcards. It's got a lovely shop.
- Oh!

- So?
- So...

Talk.

No! Don't!

Oh, I'm sorry, dears. She escaped.

Get her out. Out!

Please, have an olive.

Not just an olive, darling.

- Have caviar. I've got caviar.
- Beluga, or Sevruga?

Alooga-balooga. It's very expensive.

'Scuse me. I've just got to go
and sacrifice some old potatoes.

What's going on here?
What's happening?

In those days, I had my own ministry.
"Hallelujah, praise the lord."

I was just saying, if
these two lovely young

kids need someone to
preside at the ceremony,

I'd be more than happy.
Might be a little rusty.

Let's see. "lamb of God, lamb of God..."

- Sorry about her. I'm so sorry.
- It's fine. He's asleep.

Strange but true - the other day
I could not for the life of me

remember the names of the four disciples.

But I could remember
even single one of the Osmonds.

Let's see. Alan, jay, Merrill, Donny,
Jimmy, and sometimes Marie.

She's like the 'Y' in a vowel sequence.
"Sometimes Marie".

- Why didn't you do as I said?
- She hates me.

- Don't frown.
- Sony.

We have one of our homes in Del Mar,
close to the Rothschilds,

who I saw the other day, Paolo.

The Rothschilds.
After bingo at Mortons, with Pally.

- Do you know lord Palumbo?
- No.

Why did I think you would?

And who else was there
but the lnfantas Elena and Cristina.

- Do you know them?
- Yes.

Spanish Royal Family.

Little potato-faces
and Brillo Pad hair, we know them.

But most, I love Bel Air.
I find I get a lot of work done there.

Oh, liposuction.

No. Writing.

Don't these two look cute together?
Let's link pinks, and make a caring-circle.

- No, no.
- Come on!

Hey, we're all gonna be family, after all.
Will you sing with me?

May they live in blissful happiness

May they know the joy of Christ

I'll link your pink.

Paolo. Paolo?

Hi, Pats.

- What, him?
- Yeah, I was shocked, Eddy.

- God, that's disgusting.
- It's tragic.

What a waste. He's left
it allover the seat.

- Is he made of money?
- Yeah, he is, darling.

And his rich bitch of a
mother is downstairs,

disapproving of my
daughter, darling.

- Still, you win some, you lose some.
- No, that is very bad news, Eddy.

I know. I need a drink.
Go down and get a bottle of Krug, will you?

- I can't face that woman again.
- Oh, Eddy.

- You roll.
- All right.


Is this really necessary?

My son is worth an
awful tot of money.

Mama, stop it. I've
told you, she's perfect.

- But she's...
- You didn't see her before.

- Hullo.
- Hello.

- So, exactly what is it you do, again?
- I work for Southwark Council.

- A council?
- Hello.

Hello?

Hello?

So, tell me more.

I'm working on a pedestrianization scheme
in South London.

South London?

- Did you see her, darling?
- Yep. What did she say she was?

- An air hostess.
- Oh-huh-huh-huh!

"Hostess", nearer the mark.
Darling, that is Kalishia Clegg.

She was a Bond girl with me.

Darling, you were never a Bond girl

Yes, I was. Bond Meets Black Emmanuelle.
Yeah.

It was me, Kalishia Clegg...

And Anouska Hempel, I remember.

Oh, Eddy.
D'you want me to help out a bit, here?

Yeah?

- Lah-di-dah, darling.
- I'll do you a swap.

- But why?
- I have nothing against you personally,

but I doubt your motives.

Of course she wants to many you, Paolo.
Look what she's coming from.

Darling boy, she's not good enough for you.

She's...
She's a squirrel.

I want you to have mink.

Well, now!

- Tell her we don't care what she thinks.
- Don't be ridiculous, she's my mother.

- Tell her we'll get married, anyway.
- I'll be cut off.

Up the stairs to the jet, Carlo.

What a lovely couple.

You two should take a tip from them.

Anyhoo.

Now, where's the powder room?

Go after her.

It's all right, he's blind.

So... Kalishia.

- What do you want?
- Don't you remember me?

No.

Let me refresh your memory.

"Room service. I've brought
something hot up."

Zeta, the Amazonian waitress.

- Anouska?
- No, Patsy!

And hello, Sabina, naked snake charmer.

Oh, my God. My God...

- Remember, darling?
- You bitch.

And if I'm not mistaken...

And some of...
And then...

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Adorable child!

Already I think of you as family.

You're right, Paolo.
Perfect, perfect poppet wife.

So, see you at the wedding,
whenever that will be.

- Wednesday.
- But, Mum...

- that's not enough time.
- There's no point waiting.

Wednesday, all right?

- Ciao.
- Ciao.

It'll be all right, darling...

You were dubbed in the end, you know.
By Britt Ekland.

- Saff.
- Yes?

They love you. I'm really excited.

See you very soon.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I love him. Come here!

- Would you mind not doing that?
- Sorry, sorry.

Yes!
We'll show Kalishia Clegg, darling.

No more "simple wedding",
no more mere wedding experience.

This'll blow the bloody brains
out of the camcorder, darling.

This wedding will be emblazoned
on the memory of those present,

for generations to come.
It's about you, obviously.

- Is that OK?
- Yes.

- Thank you.
- Don't thank me, thank Patsy.

Put the cigarette down, Pats.

- Well, I did my bit.
- She's more man than you'll ever be.

Never mind, mate.

Darling, darling.

Sleep that side, if you want.

Oh, cheers, Eddy. Thanks a lot.

- This is nice, isn't it?
- What?

You know, family life.

Yeah. Good to see the
little girl settled.

- Night-night, darling.
- Night, sweetie.

One for the morning.

That's just great.

- What?
- No, no, it's fine.

You know, just a little peck on the cheek
and turn over. That's fine.

After all we've been through together.
After all I've done for you.

All what?

Turn off the light.

Oh, right.

Thank you.

Cheers, Ed.

- Night, darling.
- Night.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

But to be quite honest,
I find him really frightening.

You find everyone frightening.

Don't worn. I'm going to change him.

This is all so exciting!

- Will there be champagne at the wedding?
- Yes, loads of bubbly.

Right, I want you to get
the invitations printed.

Right. Are they?

No. Get them done. All right?

- Right. For the...
- For the wedding!

And I want you to be my bridesmaid.

No, darling! I've got you the Gucci girl

No, Mum. I want her, it's my wedding.

All right, book Titicaca.

Then I want you to book Clifton,
the whole hotel for the whole weekend.

I want OK! and Hello! magazine
pit-butting for that front cover.

Limos so long they've got stretch marks.
For flowers, just mow the Netherlands.

No expense spared, all right?

Then get every PR's PR list, and invite
everybody on it. Bike the invitations.

- Everybody?
- Yeah, everyone who's... No.

Not Julia Carling, Tamara Beckwith
or Tara Pompkinson-Fah-Fah.

It's just, they're really
good friends of mine.

No.

- Have you thought about music?
- Yes, I want classical.

Classical.

- Sally Gunnell
- No, no.

Darling, we're going to rendezvous
at oh, oh... oh-hundred hours,

go look at the church. See you later.

- Christopher Biggins.
- No!

- He'd come.
- He's already there, that's the point.

You've got to think about
what dress you're going to wear.

Don't worn. I've got
the loveliest dress.

Good.

I don't want anything too little.
Nothing too small.

You get your name in the programme, and a
leaflet on even seat, if you're lucky.

Do they grow in bunches, flowers?

Yeah, they grow in bunches
with plastic round them.

- Spare some change?
- Oh, God.

What's the world coming to when innocent
people have to give money to destitutes,

just in case they're journalists.
Here you are.

- Journalists?
- Yeah.

It's all I got, mate, y'know.

I've got larger, but I might
need it myself, later.

Let's think about these churches.

- Done St Paul's, didn't like that.
- Too big.

What about that last one? That was pretty.

- Mum, it was a synagogue.
- Is that a different thing?

- Yes.
- All right, don't worn. "No synagogues."

Say if you see something, won't you?

With a steeple, or...

- That one!
- That one? Stop, she likes that one.

- You sure?
- Mm-hm.

OK, I'll go in.

You stay here, darling. You were no
help at all in Westminster Abbey.

I will be polite! You know me.

Hello.

- Bye-bye.
- It's Lacroix, by the way.

Darling, they can do the service,
but they can't do the party.

Right, venue for reception...

- On, drive on.
- What next?

Delia Smith.

Are you sure you want that one? St Paul's
will do the lot. Party and everything.

Hello?

Right. Oh, that's better.
Happier like this.

Couldn't meet him in my armies.

You get back to the office and coordinate,
all right?

- The...?
- The list.

- For...?
- For the wedding.

- Oh, congratulations. lovely.
- Go on, go.

- I think you're in for a bit of a treat.
- Not nervous are you?

- I'm fine.
- You tell him what you want.

- Excusez-moi.
- Oi, shop-girl.

- Hello. May I help you?
- Yeah.

Please tell la Monsieur,
la Christian Lacroix that we are here.

- Yes, I'll tell him.
- Oi, and I want to try this on.

I'm sorry, we don't have that in your size.

- I don't wear my size.
- Yes, but you don't understand...

All right, I'll try this one on. OK?

I'm sorry, we can't...

Pleasure, hi. Patsy Stone.

I was at your show, it was unreal.
I've

always wanted to own
some of your jewellery.

Of course, yes.

I'm Saffron Monsoon.
I have an appointment for a wedding dress.

This is my... Well, actually... Her.
Eddy, get up. She's her daughter.

Please, come this way.

It's beautiful,
but maybe it could be a bit simpler.

Darling, he's an artist.
Let it be his vision.

- No, you can... Simpler.
- Oh. Thank you.

Yeah, not this one.

She'll need straps, she's like me.

- Thank you very much.
- It was a great pleasure.

- Please, that's for you.
- Oh, thank you.

- Will you come to the wedding?
- Of course not, I'm afraid.

Saffy? Saffy?
Oh, hello.

- Morning, wedding girl
- Morning.

- Sleep well, darling?
- No, I could hardly sleep at all.

That's just wedding butterflies.

I never had those.
But I never had the build-up, you know?

- Guess who I spoke to this morning? Serge.
- Is he coming?

He can't make the wedding,
but he's coming to the reception.

You don't normally come up
and see me in the morning.

No, I don't...

- Right, come in, Pats! I've got her!
- Get off me!

It'll be all right, sweetie.

Just hold that there. The redness will go.

It's just I'm a perfectionist. I'm sorry.

Mind my ears. I don't like my ears, Nicky.

Darling, darling.

- Darling, this?
- No.

I'll wear the Body Minimiser. Come on.

- Nicky?
- No.

I like it.

I want a hairpiece, darling. A hairpiece.

Oh, try one of mine.
I've got plenty for everybody.

But what does God want me to be today?
Blonde, brunette?

Shaft?

Glow, glow, hallelujah...

- Don't worn, I'm here, I'm here.
- Thank God.

Very sorry I'm late. Got this hot roller
wedged under my accelerator pedal.

- So, where's the blushing bride?
- In the bathroom.

Can't wait to get my magic fingers
on that Barnet.

Nicky Clarke?

- I thought you could do my mother.
- Oh, right.

How d'you want it, then?

- Under my hat, dear.
- Good.

Nicky Clarke. Nicky Clarke...

I'd better be going, Marshaifli be waiting.
Whaddya think, too Tammy Faye Bakker?

More like Danny Baker, dear.

Where's she gone?

Right.

I'm ready, I'll wait here for Saff.
You two go on.

No.

She's coming with me.
I'm going to walk her down the aisle.

You can come in the car with me, dear.

You're going on public transport.
There's a bus stop at the end of the road.

Revamp? Makeover?

Creative hairdressing.

That bloody sushi breakfast
at UK Gold keeps repeating on me.

- Need a wash and blow?
- Yeah, come on then.

It's my new project.

Very enterprising. But
it's a bit embarrassing.

Over here! look this way, please.

I'm the grandmother.

Oh, Brucie... Hang on. Bruce!

He's there. Bruce darling! Come on.

Wedding, darling.

- He's coming. He loves me.
- I'll see you. I'm gonna walk on.

We don't wanna miss the fun!

Thank you. Thanks. Hi, sweeties.

Brucie, baby.
The thing about being a fashion icon...

Take in the glasses with you,
do take them in!

- Bruce. Champagne?
- Thanks.

God bless you!

..la, la

la, la, la la, Lola...

Hi. Mother of the bride,
mother of the bride.

Mother of the bride.

Oh! Here we are!

Mmmwah!

I said no to him.
I've had trouble with him before.

- I'm only here for the champagne, dear.
- Oh, are you!

Excuse me.
Everyone's taking glasses into the church.

There must be no alcohol in the church.

- Oh!
- I thought that was just the Muslims.

Darling, I do hope that
dress has straps on.

Is anybody looking at me?

Everybody's looking,
you lost your lip-line.

- Oh, my God! Re-apply

I haven't got any!
I'll have to use yours.

It's not your colour.

"They yoked themselves
to the Baal of Peor."

Remember when you had your balls yoked?

Fixed your posture though, didn't it?
You looked great after that.

Hi, yeah. She's just coming.

- Sweetheart, want a drink?
- No, thank you.

- You can't take it in, darling...
- I don't want any!

You look gorgeous, darling.

- Thank you.
- Mummy's here.

I'll be very close, very close.

Sorry, darling.

Sorry, sweetheart.

She's coming.

What are you doing here?
What's he doing here?

Sweetheart!

Sweetie! Sweetie! Sweetie!

You look really...

lovely.

God is love.

Whoever dwells in love is dwelling in God.
And God in them.

We open our service, worshipping God.

The hymn - All Things Bright And Beautiful.

All things bright and beautiful

All creatures great and small

All things wise and wonderful

The lord God made them all

Each little flower that opens

Each little bird that sings

He made their glowing colours

♪ He made their my wings... ♪

Will the congregation please sit.

Friends, we are gathered here
on this special day,

in the presence of God,
and before these witnesses

to join together this man and this woman...

Paolo and Saffy, in giving yourselves
to each other, please repeat after me -

- "I do solemnly declare..."
- I do solemnly declare...

- "..l know of no lawful impediment..."
- ..l know of no lawful impediment...

- "..why I, Paolo Carlo..."
- ..why I, Paolo Carlo...

- "..may not be joined in matrimony..."
- ..may not be joined in matrimony...

"to Saffron."

I know of no lawful impediment...

- "..why I, Saffron..."
- ..why I, Saffron...

- "..may not be joined in matrimony..."
- ..may not be joined in matrimony...

- "..to Paolo Carlo."
- ..to Paolo Carlo.

Into this holy estate
these two people now desire to enter.

If anyone can show any just cause

why they may not lawfully
be joined together in marriage,

let them now declare it.

♪ We gotta get out of this place...

♪ I know it, baby

♪ You know it, too

♪ You know it, too ♪

No!

- No, no!
- What are you doing?

Sing, sing. I booked you.

Why do you always have to ruin everything?

Oh, happy day Oh, happy day

Oh, happy day Oh, happy day

Oh, when He washed
When Jesus washed

Oh, when He washed
When Jesus washed

Oh, when He washed
When Jesus washed

He washed our sins away

Oh, happy day Oh, happy day

♪ Oh, happy day...

Darling, it's a total outrage.
But quite frankly, you're well out.

Have you met Georgina?
She's simply gorgeous. So chic.

- Do you like soup, Georgina?
- Yes.

They serve a really fantastic soup...

Darling, fetch her coat.

Oh, happy day

He taught me how Taught me how!

To fight To fight!

Fight and pray Fight and pray!

Fight and pray

And live rejoicing

♪ Every...

♪ Every day ♪ Every day

♪ Every day...

- So how are you feeling now, darling?
- Fine.

You knew it wasn't right, didn't you?

I think he was only marrying me
because he wanted a wife.

Of course he was.

Still, it's nice to be at home
and everything back to normal.

- Yes!
- What time's the plane, Eddy?

You're not going away, are you?

Well, you didn't want the honeymoon,
did you, darling?

Cheers, sweetie.

♪ This wheel shall explode ♪
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