02x11 - Over the Hill

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Lizzie McGuire". Aired: January 12, 2001 – February 14, 2004.*
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Series follows Lizzie McGuire, a thirteen-year-old girl who faces the personal and social issues of adolescence.
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02x11 - Over the Hill

Post by bunniefuu »

Miranda what would you call this color? -Uh, goldish-greenish? -Pinkish How about just gold? Gold? Just gold? It took me an hour to mix this color last night, Gordo.

I think it deserves a name that says Throw your hands in the air Wave 'em like you just don't care.

I was thinking more like L to the Izzy, Mc to the Guire.

Sad thing is-- I understood that.

Hey, I could write a dictionary that translates English into Girlish.

I-I could make millions.

-Girlish.

-Okay, maybe that's not so P.

C.

Let's see what Ethan thinks.

How do you women feel about the word "fembonics"? -Hi, Ethan.

-Hey, guys.

Oh, Lizzy, I'm feeling those gold nails.

Gold-- it sounds so much better when he says it.

"Gold.

" Oh, what a perfect name.

I was wondering what to call it.

Little Lizzie so economical.

Did you give yourself that haircut, too? I think it's swithy your supporting Cara like this.

Didn't you hear? My pal Cara Gunther won a spot on the Olympic diving team.

Didn't get the memo.

Oh, I-I totally knew.

That's why I was going to ask how many bottles of Gold Medal Gunther Nail Polish do you need me to mix for you, Cara? I'll take ten.

Thanks, Lizzy.

Way to go, champ.

-Nice save.

-Smooth.

Never let 'em see you sweat.

I broke a nail! If you believe We've got a picture-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way.

Lizzie McGuire S02E11 Over the Hill So, now he's the ghost of the creepy, old lumberjack? Correction, Mom: He's not a ghost; he's the undead.

Doomed to walk the Earth by day And by night, he feeds on people's brains as the Bonelicker.

Look, he's wearing a bib.

He doesn't want to get any brain stain on his shirt while he's chomping on skulls.

Now you let us know if this gets too scary for you, okay? Pul-lease! And then the dentist took this stick thing and scraped it over my tongue.

You wouldn't believe all the gunk.

Uh, Lizzie, I've got to go.

I've got gunk of my own to do.

-Me, too.

-Since when did you guys get so busy? I'm printing out the flyers for my screening Saturday.

You are coming, right? You're not doing the film about the life cycle of the running shoe again, are you? Just giving the people what they want.

Well, I'm practicing for my recital.

It's Sunday; don't forget.

And wear something conservative, please.

The governor will be there.

Oh, yeah.

I've got something to do, too, you know.

I've got to practice for that big festival of absolutely nothing I'm doing this weekend.

Don't worry.

You'll find something to do.

-You always do.

-I got to jet.

Ciao for now.

I'll find something to do.

No! Don't go in there! Why do they keep going in there? Shh, this is the classic scene, okay? How's that for brain stain, Matt? -Matt? -Matt? Matt Matt! that's it.

Turn it off.

No, Mom, don't be silly.

I-I wasn't sitting close enough.

And look we're missing the the opening of the grave.

teen Internet mogul as she launches her newest website.

And the dough just keeps rolling in for the cute teen millionaire.

capping a thrilling upset by the 12-year-old genius newcomer.

On to MIT for the 11-year-old college graduate.

He'll have a PhD before he gets zits! He'll have a PhD before I get zits.

Stick a fork in you; you're done.

I think that was just way too scary for him.

Oh, he's fine.

I used to watch scary movies when I was his age.

I turned out okay.

Matt, what are you doing? There's a presence in this house.

A ghost pimple? What's wrong, honey, you can't sleep? Uh, Sixth Sense here is seeing dead people again.

I'll let you guys handle this one.

Good night.

You and your movies.

Come on, son.

Back to bed.

No, but that room is alive with the howling of the undead! I'll leave this to you.

-Come on, son.

-No! No! No! Thanks for landing on Burger Planet.

Here's your tip.

Oh! Rotten kids! No respect these days.

I should've invested in municipal high-yield, small-cap.

I should have gotten a piggy bank.

Welcome to Burger Planet.

May I take your order? Five orders of curly fries, please.

Thank you.

Drive around to the window.

We are listening tonight to the world-famous concert violinist, Miranda Sanchez perform for the Lincoln Center audience.

-Five orders of curly fries, sir.

-Better make it six.

Gordo loves his fries.

Gordo? Curly fries? Gordo, a-as in David Gordon, the-the famous director? He-he's in that car? You didn't hear it from me.

I-I've got to see him.

I've got to see Gordo! Back off, Grandma.

He's a very important person.

I know, but you don't understand! Gordo and I, we-we went to middle school together.

We used to be best friends and I've got to get in this car! here we go.

-Gordo, it's me! Lizzie! -Bye-bye.

Open the window! What was that all about? Ah, some nut-job.

Couldn't figure out what she wanted to do in life until it was way too late.

Hmm.

Did she say her name was Lizzie? Didn't I used to know a Lizzie? -No.

-No.

Gordo! Gordo, remember me? Lizzie! Lizzie McGuire! Nah.

Fry me.

Gordo! Don't leave me! It was just a dream, Lizzie.

Get it out of your mind.

And when that doesn't work Mommy! Mom, Dad, we need to talk.

Now.

Isn't it time that you stopped running to Mom and Dad for every little thing? I guess you're right.

Oh, by the way Hello, Clarice.

Don't do that! Oh, gosh, you guys.

Come on, stop it.

What-What's wrong, sweetie? What's wrong is Gordo's in a limo and I'm a lonely, old, looser truck-stop waitress for the rest of my life! What are you going to do about it? We'll leave this to you.

Why do moms think that hot chocolate fixes everything? Hmm, because it does.

Okay.

Now what's on your mind, sweetie? Apparently, nothing and you two haven't done anything to help.

What'd we do? It's what you didn't do, Dad.

While I've been singing "Oops, I Did It Again" into a hairbrush, people have been going to the Olympics and playing for the governor, and Spielberging.

Spielberging? Did Gordo do another movie? 'Cause I love that one he did about the running shoes.

He is so talented.

Not helping.

Is this about the Gunther girl? The diver? This is about, where was I the day in kindergarten where we all decided what we were going to be? And where were you two? Do you remember that rhythmic gymnastics thing you did last year? You rocked, and we were behind you a thousand percent.

You told us you weren't passionate about it.

But if you made me stick to it I might be going to the Olympics, too.

And thanks for picking right now to start saying "rocked," Dad.

But, honey, we can't force you into being something.

That's why I'm nothing, Mom.

You're fantastic! You're smart.

You're talented.

You're Continue.

a little insecure right now.

Go back to talented, then stop.

Listen, when you find out what it is that you want to be you won't need us to tell you.

And you certainly don't need to figure it out tonight.

Unless, of course, you'd like to.

We're here for you.

Mom, Dad face it-- there's already, like 50 million things that I can never be.

I b*rned my tongue.

Now I can never be a food critic.

Hey.

Thanks for coming, you guys.

Matt won't go near his room.

You were right to call us.

I definitely sense something in this house.

How about you Lanny? Yeah.

This is out of control.

Just let them work it out their way.

Oh, yeah, that's easy for you to say.

You get to go play softball and I'm stuck here with the insane playdate posse.

Hey, I didn't make up the schedule.

It just worked out.

Bye.

And then the car zooms off leaving me behind, talking into a clown's mouth for the rest of my life.

My road dogs-- they've always got my back.

Did you say that I have an assistant that feeds me curly fries? My hair is long and gray like my Abeula? Maybe it's time for a new set of road dogs.

Can we focus here, you guys?! My life needs a plan.

You guys don't know what it's like seeing everyone pass you by.

Nobody's passing you by.

You're just good at a lot of different things.

Well, that's the old Lizzie.

The new Lizzie is going to be great at one thing.

So, how are you going to pick your life's work? A-A dartboard? No, silly, I've written down all of my possible career choices and put them in this hat.

Great to see you have a system.

We're not leaving this room until I have a future.

Now draw.

Slow down?! I'm tying as fast as I can! "Research scientist? Yeah! I could save an entire species.

Thank you, Ethan.

I would like to announce that after years of work we have recovered and cloned DNA from the last wild bald eagle.

Thanks to our research our national symbol will once again fly free and Lovely.

God bless America.

Now, can we wrap this up? I have a wax at 3:00, and it is now No! That year, I could win the Nobel Prize and the Gold Glove.

Works for me.

Now, uh, about the near future.

Did I hear some talk of curly fries? I'm not finished.

Draw.

Uh "A NASCAR driver"?! I like the little jumpsuit with all the patches.

I have a need for speed.

Whatever happened to the "normal" jobs? Like, a-a doctor or a lawyer? Well, blood makes me kind of squirmy and law is so Yeah, that's a good sleepy face.

I always said you'd make a great actress.

Uh, moi? You like me! You really, really Uh, what's the next line? Oh, yeah.

You really, really like me! An actress? Please.

I'd get all nervous with everyone staring at me.

Besides, I forget the words to "Jingle Bells" each year.

Moving on.

Okay, it says here that in China they rearrange the furniture to get rid of negative energy.

Okay, everybody feng shui! Turn the b*at around Love to hear percussion Turn it upside down Love to hear percussion Love to hear percussion Mom, when the spirit flies in the window, crashes into the lampshade bounces off the mirror, and lands in the cactus that ghost is toast.

If you don't put all this stuff back before your father gets home you, also, are going to be toast.

Oh, and, uh, speaking of toast we made these, uh, garlic necklaces to ward off vampires! I know.

We're being overcautious.

But there's no arguing with Lanny.

Oh, I wouldn't dare.

Hello? Oh, hey, honey.

No, the game just finished.

Yeah, I can bring some garlic home.

You're wearing garlic.

No, I know I told him to figure it out.

Okay, okay, I'll figure it out.

Honey? Hey, guys.

You guys want to make a quick 20 bucks? Okay, last one.

"Stay-at-home mom"? Somebody's got to do it, right? I'd get up and get the kids breakfast.

-Uh! Dork! -Freak! Kids, cut it out! -And at the end of the day -Stop! my gorgeous husband comes home from work.

Why are you yelling? Because I am sick of your girl talk! Enough about your future husband, okay? Yeah, well, you don't exactly see me doing cartwheels either.

What? Emergency subject change! Eject! Eject! I don't know what I'm saying.

Just draw.

The hat's empty.

So what's it going to be? This is so silly, isn't it? I can't pick my future out of a hat.

Glad I didn't have to tell you.

So, how do I do it? You've got your movies and you've got your music.

You guys are set for the rest of your life.

The rest of our life? Lizzie, I may never be a professional musician.

Exactly.

She may never be a professional musician.

No, you're supposed to say "I may never be a professional director.

" Are we here to talk crazy, or are we here to help Lizzie? You know, it just makes me nervous-- seeing you guys changing and me staying the same all the time.

Stay the same? Lizzie, you're not the same as last year.

Not according to my shoe size.

Did you see how you just marched up to Ethan yesterday? And you only tripped once all week.

Yeah, and you pulled that B-minus in bio up to a solidly respectable, almost B-plus.

Okay.

Two out of three.

Look, Lizzie, you just got to keep doing what you love to do.

The rest of your life will just fall into place.

Just promise me that if I fall a step behind you guys will be there, letting me know.

Lizzie, we get it.

We've got your back.

Forever.

Forever.

Be honest! Be ruthless! Don't hold back.

I mean, tell me if my breath stinks or I'm saying "like" too much.

Well, you want honest? How's this for honest? I think that your hair clips are just a little too, you know, big and Oh, no, he didn't! The hair is great.

Hey, ya, guys.

The ghost gone yet? Face it, Dad, we're amateurs.

The ghost is winning.

Well, I got good news for you.

After an exhaustive search I've managed to hire a couple professionals.

See what you think.

Come on in, guys.

Looks likewe're going to have to go "old school" on these ghosts.

Old school"? With leaf blowers? Back off, kid.

I'm a scientist.

Are-Are you okay, Mr.

Ghostbuster? There's something under here! -This is going to cost you an extra 20.

-Okay.

I told you! Our house is a portal to the Dark Dimension! What is happening out here?! Not too close, honey, careful.

Use these.

Look into the face of evil.

Puppies! Puppies! -Hi.

Hello.

-Hi.

Come here, Mother.

Come here.

Yeah, that's a girl.

You've been busy.

Can we keep them? I'll leave that to you dear.

Puppies! That could be my new career.

Dog groomer, dog walker, veterinarian uh, nail polish for dogs.

But first, I will have to answer the age-old question: "Who let the dogs out?" Woof, woof, woof.

Go! Unless, of course, you'd like to We're here.

Robert, give me another take of that instead of drunk.

I'm sorry! I have a need for speed.

-This is a great take! -Cut it.
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