01x02 - For a Few Dumples More/Evil Has a Name

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

♪ One, two, three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Ahh!

[grunts]

[whistle blows]

Cadets, the Annual

Inter-Academy Bowl-Off

is this week,

and I want to win!

These are the most pitiful

team tryouts

I've ever witnessed!

Uh, but Colonel,

haven't we always

lost the Bowl-Off?

[Colonel] We have not beaten

our rival school in years.

Not since we were

led to victory

by this Academy's

greatest athlete...

Me!

Which is why I decided

to coach the team this year.

Now, who will help eclipse

the shame of defeat

and lead us to bathe

in the nectars of victory?

Woo!

Huh, sounds like

Cork really wants this.

Yah, let's bring this

one home for the Colonel.

Let's do this!

For Oober Doober!

This one is for you,

Colonel Cork!

[growls]

I'm your man, Colonel!

According to Academy records

you've failed to make it

onto every sports team

you've tried out for.

Some of them twice.

You...

Can be the water boy.

Water boy?

[gasps]

Colonel Cork,

I will not disappoint you!

Water boy

reporting for duty!

This... is a glass...

of sand.

[sighs]

[sniffs]

[coughs]

Gimme one more try!

[panting]

[pained grunts]

Strike!

How?

You're the first

student to bowl a strike

at this Academy

in twenty years!

Can you do it again?

Do it again!

Umm...

I don't know?

-You can do it, Burt!

-Yeah!

Just duplicate that highly

unlikely chain of events!

I'll try.

[panting]

Ahh!

[Colonel]

Woo!

Cadets!

I will now announce

the final roster

for the bowling team

in alphabetical order.

Burt.

That is all.

[gasps]

I did it?

Yay! You made the team!

No, I mean Cork

actually likes me!

I just need to learn

how to become a jockstrap.

-You mean jock?

-No worries, bud.

The Kirb and I will

teach you how to jock.

[♪♪♪]

S'up.

What's up?

Nope. Again.

What's up?

[sighs]

You know I wanna say this

isn't completely hopeless...

[♪♪♪]

Okay, let's see you spit.

[gargles]

No, Burt.

Jocks spit like they mean it.

Like they're bringing it up

from their toes!

[gross sounds]

Nice!

Lesson number two:

Towel whipping!

Ow!

Yeah!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[gargles]

[♪♪♪]

[applause]

[sighs]

S'up, buddy!

Agh!

No time for showboating!

Only training!

I did that!

I'm an athlete now.

Just look at my jacket.

Oh, and--

[growls]

S'up.

Oh, he nailed that one.

No more walking.

Rolling.

All you do from now on...

Is roll.

We made a champion!

Give me a strike, Cadet!

Seven-ten split through

the hoop of danger!

[screaming]

It's an honour to be an athlete,

trained by an athlete-

Seven-ten split through

the hoop of danger

and between my Nana's legs!

Uhh I won't disappoint

you, Corkman Kirk...

Less talk, more strikes.

[whistles]

[yelling]

Ball. Ball... Ball...

Well done, cadet.

From here on in

there is no more Burt,

only ball.

That's an order!

[Burt]

Yes sir!

[♪♪♪]

[yawns]

It's so late!

Have you been training

this whole time?

Cork says

I'm his favourite

unless I messy mess up.

Ding!

Help me into my bedtime?

[grunts]

[snores]

I'm not sure this is good.

Trust me, Kirbs.

He'll be fine in the morning.

[Kirbie screams]

[Kirbie]

Herby! Wake up!

Wake up!

He's painted himself

like a bowling ball!

This has gone too far!

No more Burt, only ball.

Whoa.

[grunting efforts]

I knew this was bad!

It's just like I

said last night!

No, that's what I told you.

Kirbie, this is not

the time to argue

about who was right

and that you were wrong, okay?

We need to do something!

Right, Burt?

Burt?

[Announcer]

Ladies and gentlemen,

grab your seats

'cause it's time to bowl!

In lane one we have

the reigning twenty year loser,

Oober Doober Academy.

And in lane two, we've got

your defending champs...

The Intergalactic

Asymmetrical Conservatory!

Now let's stop,

drop and roll!

[applause]

[♪♪♪]

[gibberish]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[gibberish]

[♪♪♪]

[applause]

[♪♪♪]

[both gasp]

Guys!

You came to watch me!

-We gotta talk!

-We're worried!

[whistle]

-Back to work, Champ!

-Yes, sir!

[pained grunts]

[groaning]

-Burt, please!

-Just listen to us!

[whistles]

Stay focused, Ball.

You're doing great

and I'm...

proud of you.

You get help.

I have just the thing

to delay the game.

[♪♪♪]

[applause]

[♪♪♪]

[crowd gasps]

[Announcer] And that spare

means that Oober Doober

needs just one

more strike to win!

This is it, Ball.

Time to-

[♪♪♪]

Herby!

Get off the lane.

♪ Now Burt is a ball

who can roll a strike... ♪

Get... Off...

The... Lane...

♪ Just ain't right! ♪

♪ Those other guys- ♪

Ahh!

♪ They have one big arm, ♪

♪ but at least they bowl, ♪

♪ without any harm. ♪

♪ You know my-- ♪

It's right here!

[buzzer]

Fascinating.

According to my readings,

this ball will eventually

become... human!

It's already human!

It's Burt!

[gasps]

I need to scan his molecular

structure immediately.

[machine beeps]

[gasps]

If Burt bowls one more strike,

he'll become a bowling ball...

Forever!

Did you hear that?

You'll be a ball forever!

[Colonel grumbling]

♪ And his arm is big.

I hope you enjoyed- ♪

[muffled]

Ball, time to win one

for Oober Doober.

Roll us to victory!

Burt, stop.

Please!

Ball, win.

Now.

-Don't do it!

-Do it.

-Burt, no!

-Ball, yes!

Bowl!

[Kirbie]

No! Burt!

-Win.

-Be a ball forever!

-Win!

-Be a ball forever!

-Win.

-Be a ball forever!

[all gasp]

[screeching]

[cheers]

Detention!

All of you!

Effective immediately!

I'm so happy you didn't do it.

Glad to have you back, Burt.

I'd pick you guys over

being a jock any day.

It is with great pride

that I have been chosen

for this prestigious

and important mission.

One that required

the construction of-

[Herby]

What's under the sheet?

I'm getting to that!

As I was saying,

we have constructed-

Is it a giraffe?

A gir-

Of course not!

Is it two giraffes?

-They must be hungry!

-Feed them!

[sighs]

If you'll allow me to-

Feed-them, feed-them,

feed-them, feed-them-

There are no giraffes!

This is an important vessel

for a mission

of great magnitude!

I named it

The Galaxy Peace Voyageur.

It is a symbol of our pride.

Power!

And dignity!

[all gasp]

Whoa...

This is not my vessel!

Um, pardon me, Colonel,

but the ship looks

exactly like your design.

[Colonel]

Who did this?

Gah!

What were you thinking?

[Kirbie] Wow, it's so...

pedestrian.

Cork draws?

He must be taking

an art class.

Uh-uh.

He can't hand this in.

He'll be humiliated.

You're right.

We have to help him!

Let's save this stinker!

Whee!

[giggles]

Cork's gonna be so happy!

Do... You... Know...

What... You've... Done?

Something... wrong?

The Galaxy Peace Voyageur-

Uh-uh.

We renamed it The Glitter Puff.

[growls]

My ship was

specifically designed

to impress

the Up-Titans!

Yeah, well

the Glitter Puff is bound

to leave an impression

on anyone.

Do you know who

the Up-Titans are?

-Nope.

-Nada.

Friends of yours?

[sighs]

[Skillsworthy]

Meet the Up-Titans.

The most dangerous

beings in the galaxy!

Beyond that

they're pretty dull.

They fly dull ships,

eat dull food

and control

a dull empire

in the Monotone Nebula.

And they destroy

anything flashy.

Star twinkling too much?

Gone!

Rainbow too colorful?

Annihilated!

They wanted to destroy earth

because it was too dazzling.

So a treaty was signed

promising Earth

would tone it down

whenever the Up-Titans

were passing.

The treaty needs

to be resigned

once every hundred years.

Fail that mission and...

We're all doomed!

-Oh no...

-Sir, we had no idea.

Yeah, if I had known

the movie was that short,

I would've got a medium.

-Hey.

-Ow!

So to recap:

You're gonna go meet aliens

who blast anything flashy.

And I have to do it

in this abomination!

Could you take another ship?

This is the only ship

that can make it in time!

Earth...

is a goner.

Maybe they'll like the ship.

[growls]

We could make

the glitter beige?

Take me inside.

I need to see

what I'm up against!

Oh the inside is way better.

Way better!

[♪♪♪]

[growls]

Shut it down!

My goodness!

It's like

a college party in here!

Aw, don't worry, there isn't

a ball pit in every elevator.

One has a bouncy castle!

-Burt!

-Umm...

just kidding?

Hmm, at least

the captain's chair

isn't too ridiculous.

Wait!

[long fart sound]

[growls]

Is the power-up

sequence less...

Gassy?

Yes! Yes it is!

Uh, maybe I should

sit there...

Quit blathering

and start the engines!

That's an order!

[growls]

[growls]

And why are we

moving so slowly?

Because someone

isn't peddling.

[sighs]

[♪♪♪]

We're here.

Your orders are no talking.

No fidgeting.

And no tom foolery.

Don't worry, Colonel!

We'll make sure

you and the Up-Titans

become total besties,

sir, yes sir!

I'll settle for them not

blowing us out of the sky.

Aw, come on, Cork.

I know they're big and tough,

but no one's bigger

and tougher than you!

Did we just fly

into a paper bag?

It's a Tedium-Class Destroyer.

Don't make

any interesting moves.

Greetings, unsightly ones.

Uh, hi?

Your tasteless ship

has been declared

a blemish on

the face of the universe.

Treaty canceled.

Prepare for obliteration.

[gasps]

Obliteration?

Is that when

two words sound alike

but have different meanings?

[Colonel]

No!

It means they're

going to att*ck us!

Hail them again.

I need to fix this!

No need.

Initiating rubber ducky defense!

What?

No, don't!

I lose my rubber ducky

in the bubbles all the time!

They'll never find us.

The bubbles are excessive,

but mask your gaudy

ship with cleanliness.

We have taken it

as a gesture of goodwill.

You are safe.

For now.

Thank you,

noble bland ones

whose humdrumery

we humbly respect.

May we proceed

with the treaty?

That would be

superbly adequate.

Come on over for some sundaes!

Uh, I mean water.

Let's drink water.

Please.

Allow me to come to you.

Acceptable.

And wipe your feet.

Alright!

We get to go on their ship!

You will all remain here

with one prime directive.

Don't... Do... Anything.

Sir, yes Sir!

I said don't do anything!

I'm worried about the Colonel.

We got him into this mess...

And it's a messy one.

Ah, he'll be okay.

If anyone can get this

treaty signed, it's Cork.

He forgot the treaty!

-What's a treaty?

-We have to get it to him!

-But Cork said-

-No choice!

We have to save the mission.

Thank you for printing off

another treaty.

I meant no disrespect.

What's disrespectful

is that uniform.

Such flashy colors.

Oh, you mean...

These?

Excellent.

Your ability to create

monotony shows promise.

I will now sign the treaty-

Ack, it touched me!

Keep your distance

vile creatures!

[gasps]

Quick, we gotta make friends!

Hi! Oooo these moo-moos

are so soft!

Is this a blend?

You're soiling my regalia!

[gasps]

Get away from him!

Commander.

Please excuse my inept-

Your undergarment has

committed an act of w*r!

Gah!

Your race shall be

annihilated!

But my first order of business

will be taking care

of the four of you!

Wait!

Okay, but before all that stuff,

wanna sign a treaty?

Emergency beam-out!

We have to get back

and warn Earth!

Pedal faster!

We need to get away

before they board the-

You have been boarded!

Prepare for routine doom-

Bah, the tackiness!

Too much pizzazz!

Ahh!

I feel terrible.

You were right Colonel,

our ship is overwhelming them!

Overwhelming them?

That's it!

I never thought I'd say this,

but how flashy

can this ship get?

We'd be proud

to show you, Sir!

Die colours! Die!

Kirbie, hit 'em

with the light show!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Let's dance!

[♪♪♪]

No!

So upbeat!

Care for a snack?

Well, I am a little peckish...

[all scream]

Sir, will you do the honors?

Gladly.

[screams]

[coughs]

No more!

[Coughs]

Your ship is too

powerful for us!

So you'll sign the treaty

and leave Earth alone?

Yes.

Anything!

Just let us go back

to our ship!

I need a pen.

Here.

We did it!

High five!

Boo-yah!

Not happening.

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

♪ Three! ♪