01x05 - Do I Know You?

[bunniefuu]

(soft eerie music)

(Lucy): The action of memory takes place not
in the neurons themselves,

but in the space
between the neurons,

in the synapses in the way
one neuron communicates with another.

Twenty bucks says I can get
Professor Miller

to come out for drinks
with us tonight.

Come on, Kira,
don't act like you weren't

desperate to TA for her.

Because she's brilliant.

Right.

The fact that
she's a smoke show

had nothing to do with it.

Shh!

...whether the memory
is episodic, semantic,

priming, or procedural.

It's all impacted.

Even now, your experience
hearing this lecture,

sitting in this room,

is in some way quite
literally shaping who you are.

(indistinct chatter)

Can you tell me what you see?

Let's see...

A spider.

Okay.

How 'bout this one?

I'm... I'm not sure.

A... A-A lamp?

It's okay, you're doing great.

It's not a lamp, dude.

Don't be an assh*le.

I turned down a postdoc
at Stanford with Kramer

because Dr. Miller
was such hot sh*t.

But somehow, here I am,
freezing my ass off in Boston,

testing muscle spasm dr*gs
on Alzheimer's patients.

Spoiler alert:
it's not doing anything.

Hey.

How's it going in here?

Um, still no change
in brain activity.

It's still early
in the treatment protocol.

What are you seeing?

This is from last week,

and this is the response
to the same question this week.

There wasn't a change in his
ability to recall the word,

but there's a definite
increase in pupil size.

He's remembering the object

even though
he still can't name it.

Mm.

We should go through
our past participants.

I can have them come in,
set a baseline too.

This is promising.

Good job, Kira.

(door opens and closes)

Hi. I thought you left.

I did leave.

(elevator beeps)

Going down?

sh*t, sorry...
Do you wanna...?

It's okay.

(elevator door closes)

(beeps)

Well. Have a good night.

(knocking)

Sorry. I know office
hours just ended.

No. It's okay, come on in.

Oh, here, f*ck.
Sorry about that.

- It's okay.
- Here. You can sit there.

So, what's up?

I wanted to let you know
that a postdoc spot

has unexpectedly opened up

in Dr. Frankfurt's
bioengineering lab.

Really? Uh, Gideon is, um,

very smart. His people skills
are a little...

I really appreciate
this opportunity

getting to work with you,

especially on the study,

but bioengineering
is my area of interest,

and I've been trying to get
into his lab

for over a year now.

So, you're leaving.

Yes. Yeah. I've decided
to accept the spot.

Well, I will be sorry
to lose you.

Also... um...

I'm very serious about my work,
Dr. Miller.

And whatever's been
going on between us...

I just can't be
distracted right now.

(inhales)

You know, I'm not really sure

I know what
you're talking about.

I'm sorry if maybe there's been
a little misunderstanding.

Yeah, that-that's my mistake.

But I do hope that you have
a good experience with Gideon.

I really have heard
great things.

Okay.

Thank you again for this
opportunity, Dr. Miller.

(ethereal music)

(indistinct chatter)

So, Kira, Herman.
Herman, Kira.

Herman's visiting
from the University of Oslo

and he has a great joke
about two-photon laser ablation.

And, Herman,
Kira is the new rock star

in my lab, she is currently
crushing multivascularization

with Josh here.
Hey, Herman, tell Josh the joke.

(Herman): So, what does
the one proton

in the hadron collider
say to the other?

- I have no idea.
- I'm splitting.

(chuckling)

(indistinct chatter)

Sorry. Do I...
Do I know you?

I thought you might.

Aren't you at the wrong
department party?

I was actually dragged here by
my friend Jose against my will.

I'm not sure he should
still count as a friend.

(Kira chuckles)

How is it working for Gideon?

Another round of gouda
for my friends, please!

It's good. Yeah,
I've learned a lot.

He's really talented
and... yeah.

(Gideon speaking indistinctly)

(chuckles)
- Yeah. These parties

rarely bring out
the best in anybody.

They're a nightmare.

Do you wanna get out of here?

You coming?

When I told you I was taking
the job in Gideon's lab,

and I thought there was
something going on between us,

you said you didn't know
what I was talking about.

I knew exactly
what you were talking about.

I was just being an assh*le.

Come on.

(engine revving)

Why swimming?

I'm not sure.
It's quiet, maybe.

You don't have to rely
on anybody.

It's just you and the water
until you can't go any longer.

Keeps me out of trouble.

You're a tenured professor
at MIT.

That can't have been
that much trouble.

My parents were not easy
when I was younger.

I don't wanna be competitive,

but if we're taking bets
on whose childhood

was most f*cked up...

Right.

Daughter of a clone.
Outta my league.

- Uh-huh.
- You never brought it up.

Doesn't make very good
small talk.

Yes, hi, my mother
is the product of an illegal,

unethical human cloning experiment,

the legacy of which
is gonna haunt her forever.

I say that to people at parties,
they just get weird.

Well, if we're being competitive...

Just when I got enough perspective

to talk to my mother
about my childhood,

she was diagnosed
with early-onset Alzheimer's.

sh*t, I'm sorry.

It's why I do
the research I do.

To f*cked-up families.

To f*cked-up families.

(chuckles)

So why are you here?

Uh, you asked me if I wanted
to come with you.

That's not what I meant.

(soft music)

I...

I'm hiding...

most of the time.

With most of the people
in my life.

I've gotten pretty
good at it.

For some reason,
with you I don't have to.

That's why I'm here.

Okay.

In the past, we've struggled
to get complex organs

to hold their shape
during the printing process.

Hollow organs such as bladders
have been possible

for some time,
but with something as solid

and intricate as the heart,

the organ begins to collapse
mid-process.

This new technology

incorporates the use
of pulsed lasers

for deposition
of bio-inks onto a substrate,

potentially paving the way
for bio-identical

replacement hearts,
livers, kidneys.

This is life-saving treatment
for thousands of patients.

(applause)

You had me at
bio-identical kidneys.

Oh, I put it in there
special for you, babe.

I'm serious.
You were so great.

I'm so proud of you.

I don't want to interrupt.

Mr. Darros just
wanted to say

how impressed he is
with your work

Oh, thank you.

He set up a new foundation,

and this is exactly the kind
of research he wants to support.

He hopes you'll consider us
if you ever find yourself

looking for outside funding.

That's very nice. Thank you.

Keep up the good work,
Dr. Manning.

Thank you.

What was that?
- You're kidding.

- No.
- Paul Darros,

the CEO of the world's largest
logistics company.

Oh, right, Jesus, yeah.

He just started a foundation
with a $ billion endowment

focused on scientific research
for global impact.

Do you think he actually
cares about helping people?

I think Paul Darros
wants to buy his way

into the humanitarian
hall of fame.

If he does some good
in service of that,

does it matter
if he actually cares?

(indistinct chatter)

Oh my God, it's so good.

I want to put them all
in my mouth at the same time,

'cause they're so good,
but I know that would be weird.

That would be weird.

We should just order
this place every night.

We could skip unpacking
the kitchen stuff altogether.

It's fine by me.

So, we... we live here now.

We do.

Together.

Yeah, when I asked you
to move in with me,

that was the general idea.

I like it.

The apartment
or moving in with me?

Both.

I moved around so much as a kid

that it's really nice
to be settled.

Next thing I know,

you'll be wanting
to paint the nursery.

If that's a subtle way
of asking

if I've made up my mind
about kids...

I haven't.
- Fine.

I'll just paint
the nursery myself.

Sorry, do I know you?

I thought you might.

(laughing)

♪ My dear, when was
the last time I held you near? ♪

♪ When was last time
I whispered in your ear? ♪

(♪)

♪ When you are gone,
people will find me in tears ♪

♪ When was last time
I whispered in your ear? ♪

(♪)

♪ How much I love you, Dear ♪

(birds chirping)

(chuckles)

Holy sh*t.
- I know.

It worked?

It worked. It started b*ating.

(chuckles)
- Jesus. Babe, you-you did it!

I know. I-I can't believe it. I...

You printed a f*cking heart!

Yeah, I did. I know. I did it.

Oh my God! Oh my God!

This is amazing!
Oh my God, I'm so proud of you.

Good news is your eggs
are in great shape.

There's definitely
viability there.

But the polyps in your uterus

could make it very difficult

for you to carry
a baby to term.

Now, I know that's not
the news you were hoping for,

but using your eggs and finding someone else
to carry the pregnancy

is definitely an option
I think we can consider.

Having a family doesn't always happen
exactly the way we imagine it will.

I've had a lot
of positive outcomes with...

(soft music)

Are you okay?

Sure. Yeah.

I'll do it.

This was my thing.

You have so much going on
right now, I would never ask

you to do that.
- No, no, no. You don't have to.

Look at that.
(gasps)

- It's sprinkling.
- Do you wanna feel it?

Oh, you got a little bit
on your foot!

We got a little bit on me!

Hi, baby. Do you want
to take our picture?

Oh!
(baby crying)

You would like to touch
the water?

It's okay. It's okay.

Okay, I'm gonna just
take it quick. Okay.

(camera clicking)

(♪)

(breathing deeply)

(breathing heavily)

(applause)

These are the faces
of patients

waiting on the transplant list.

People who are in desperate
need of replacement organs.

Well, they don't gotta wait
any longer. Because today,

the Additive Foundation,
founded by Dr. Kira Manning,

embarks on its mission
to make bio-printed organs

available to everyone
in the world who needs them.

(applause)

I'm sorry, uh, can I steal
Dr. Manning for just a second?

- Excuse me.
- Thanks.

All right.

Well...

Congratulations, again.
(chuckles)

Thank you.

You know, we couldn't
have done it without you.

No, to be even a small
part of this, it's, uh...

it's fulfilling every vision
I had about

what the foundation
could accomplish.

Good. I am so glad.

Thank you for supporting me
all these years.

Have you given any thought
to-to what's next?

You know, where else
the printing technology

might go?

- What do you mean?
- Could you print a complete

organism, for example?

I'm talkin' soup to nuts.
A whole person, say?

- I'm sorry, are you asking...
- Uh, uh, just completely

hypothetical, just-just
as a thought experiment.

Human cloning is illegal.

For reasons I am only
too familiar with...

Kira, I believe in unfettered
scientific exploration.

It's not about the end product,

it's about what we learn
and discover along the way.

It's not up for discussion.

The underwear wasn't gonna
arrive in time,

so I just had it sent
straight to your dorm.

- Mom.
- The, uh, the boxer-brief?

- Mom.
- What?

I'm going to college. 'Kay?

This is officially the moment

we stop talking
about my underwear.

(laughs)
- Sorry.

Let me fix this, at least.

There.

Okay.

Try not to k*ll it.

I will. And I'm sorry

I can't make
the ceremony tomorrow.

Oh, they're just dressing
me up in my spooky robes

and blathering about
how great I am,

so the people endowing my chair

don't think they've wasted
their money.

Yeah, that's one way
of looking at it.

Or you can look at it
as well-deserved recognition

for discovering
that a muscle-spasm drug

helps treat Alzheimer's.
- Potato, pot-ah-to.

Proud of you.

All right.

Go, get outta here!
Go to school! Have fun.

Try not to think
about us anymore.

Well, maybe a little bit.

Take care of each other.

(door opens and closes)

You are such a f*cking softie!

(laughs)
Come on.

(birds chirping)

(ominous music)

(breathing unsteadily)

(birds chirping loudly)

(sounds echoing)

(breathing heavily)

Alright, here we go.

(gasps)
f*ck.

Hey.

What happened? I thought
you were going for a swim.

I couldn't find the pool.

What?

I walked around in circles
for an hour.

I kept thinking
I was gonna find it...

I don't... I don't understand.

I've been feeling confused.

You know, about little things
like where I put my keys

or, um... I missed a meeting
with a postdoc the other day.

- It could be a lot of things...
- It's happening, Kira.

I am almost exactly the same age
as my mother

when she first showed symptoms.
- No, you don't know that.

We need to just slow down...
- Kira, please, please,

don't try to make this go away.

We can't tell Lucas.
- We can get you a consult,

an MRI...
- Kira, I don't want this

to f*ck up his life
the same way it f*cked up mine.

Please.

Promise me that we're
not gonna tell him, please.

(somber music)

Okay.

(Kira): How'd your meeting
with the department chair go?

(Eleanor): I told her I wanted
to take a leave of absence

and focus on my family.

Did you take your
medication today?

It's not working.

It's early days.

I developed the drug, Kira.

we both know how it works.
It was never good

with early-onset cases.
- I know this is scary for you.

It is scary for me too, but we
can't get ahead of ourselves.

I should've seen
improvements by now.

If this isn't helping,
I may not know my name

in three months.

And I don't wanna live that way.

I need you
to prepare yourself, Kira.

I don't accept that.

I thought I watered
that yesterday.

(tense music)

We're starting something new.

Are you finally getting
excited about eyeballs?

Like, do you see what I mean?

Well, it's not eyeballs, Josh.

Is that brain tissue?

We are gonna try
to print neurons.

Sure. I mean,
I wanted a pony growing up

but my parents didn't think
it would fit in our apartment,

so I got a cat.

I'm serious, Josh.

Neurons for a transplant.

No, I get it,
people with brain injuries,

disease, that'd be huge
for them.

But they're way too delicate.

Our process isn't set up
for something that fine-grained.

Well, then we change
the process.

Are you okay?
What's this all about?

Are you with me?

I'm always with you, boss.
You know that.

I, uh, I've been working
on your treatment,

and Josh has been
helping me,

and we're trying everything.

We finally got
the new neurons to respond,

but the surgery, it would...

it would be such a big risk.

And I am so scared
of losing you,

but I am...

I'm already losing you,

and I'm not sure
what you'd want me to do.

Part of me wants to try
it for you.

Part of me...

wants to try it for me.

Part of me wants
to try it for Lucas.

Who's Lucas?

(machines beeping)

You are the love of my life.

Eleanor, I'm gonna have you
count back from three for me.

Three.

Two.

(breathes deeply)

Hey.

Do I know you?

I thought you might.

(groans)

(sighs)

Can I ask you a few questions?

Are they gonna be annoying?

(laughs)

What's your birthday?

You still don't remember
my birthday.

It's embarrassing.

What's our son's name?

Lucas Miller-Manning.

Can you repeat these words
after me:

Face.

Velvet.

Church. Daisy. Red.

Red.

Daisy.

Church. Velvet. Face.

(laughs)

Now you're just being
a pain in the ass.

Always.

Yeah, I called Lucas
at school to catch up.

Told him you'd call him later.

Mm. Jesus, that was delicious.

(exhales)

When was the last time
I spoke to him?

Um, about a month ago?

- Wow.
- Yeah, I-I told him

you were preoccupied
with a grant proposal.

I said I felt like I hadn't
spoken to you in weeks,

which wasn't a complete lie.

I've been right here.
I've always been right here.

Mm. Yeah, it's a little hard
to tell, recently.

And historically.

Wow.

Back to me not being
emotionally present.

I thought that...

I thought I'd get a break
given the circumstances.

(chuckle)
- Sorry.

My issues with constancy.

Is it hard for you to tell
how I feel about you?

(sighs)

You know, you can be
a little tricky.

The day that you came
and told me

that you were leaving
to go work for Gideon...

after you left,

I had to cancel all my meetings
for the rest of the day.

I couldn't focus. I...

I couldn't work.

I couldn't stop thinking
about you.

And then I went
to the pool and swam.

Pushed myself so hard
at one point,

I wasn't sure I was gonna
make it to the other side.

Some kid lifeguard jumped in,

said it looked like
I was gonna drown.

You coulda just told me
you liked me too.

Would've been a lot easier.

(laughs)

Guess I'm not an easy-way-out
kind of girl.

(phone ringing)

(groans)
Oh, sh*t. I have to get up.

I have to check in
with the office.

You want me to make
you some breakfast?

(birds chirping)

Elle?

Elle?

(birds chirping)

Eleanor?

Eleanor?

(light rhythmic music)

Eleanor.

♪ Change like the wind

♪ Like the water

♪ Like skin

(sobbing)
No, no, no.

♪ Change

Come on.

♪ Like the sky

♪ Like the leaves

No.
(sobbing)

♪ Like a butterfly

(sobbing)

♪ Would you live forever
and never die ♪

♪ While everything
around passes ♪

♪ Would you smell forever
and never cry ♪

♪ While everything
you know passes ♪

♪ Would you live forever
and never die ♪

(phone vibrates)

♪ While everything
around passes ♪

♪ Would you smile forever
and never cry ♪

(crying)

So you've reconsidered.

Yeah.

I'll need resources
and equipment.

I'm not even sure
it's even possible.

We will get you
whatever you need.

And there is one condition.

The machine, when I've done it,
that's it.

I destroy it.

That is non-negotiable, Paul.

This is purely about
scientific exploration.

So we have a deal?

I think we do.

I put in all
the material orders.

It should be on its way.

Okay, great. Thank you.

Specs for the new laser lens?

Yeah. With a print
this layered,

we need to control
the heat diffusion

to the surrounding tissue.

I'll enter the specs
into the larger schematics

when you're done.

This stays out
of the schematics.

Why?

It's an insurance policy.

Without the lens,
this machine is essentially

useless to Darros.

The specs stay between us,

and we keep control of it.

Then it stays between us.

(machine whirring)

(tense music)

(lovebird chirps)

(ominous music)

(chirps)

(gasps)

(chirping)

You think she's gonna remember?

I just want it to be right
when she wakes up.

Familiar.

I triple-checked
the scan you sent.

The one from her physical
after you had the baby.

It's older, but there's enough
resolution there.

I uploaded it to the printer.

Great. Thanks...

for, for everything.

You've always been
on my side,

ever since grad school.

Yeah, it's a lot to ask.

And, uh, I couldn't have...

You're the only person
I trusted.

You know this won't keep
her from getting sick.

It might buy me at least
another years

to try to figure out how
to slow down the Alzheimer's.

What are you gonna
tell Lucas? If this works?

(sighs)

I'll figure it out.

I have to believe
that a world with her in it,

even if it's complicated,

is better than
a world without her.

Hey. I know you want her back.

Do you think...

Do you think
it'll really be her?

(whirring, beeping)

(suspenseful music)

(gasping)

(soft music)

Was I asleep?

Not exactly.

Do you know where you are?

No, I don't think so.
Is something wrong?

Face, velvet, church,
daisy, red.

Face, velvet, church,
daisy, red.

(chuckles)

Take a look at this picture.

Do you recognise the baby?

No. Who is this?

That's okay.

Who are you?

Do I know you?

I thought you might.

(glass shattering)

(inaudible)

(tense music)

That's it?

That's your story.

So we were...

You were in love.

You were the love of my life.

And we have a kid together.

Well, he's...
he's all grown up now.

I wanna meet him.

I, uh, I think he'd find
it hard to understand.

I've got someone.

Not a daughter, but almost.

Well, then you, you get it.

And this tattoo on my arm.

What is that?
Some kind of ID number?

No. It's braille.

We were really
cheesy when we got married

and, uh, we got matching
UV tattoos.

It's, it's the first line
of a W.S. Merwin poem.

What is it?

"Let me imagine that we will
come again...

when we want to...

and it will be spring."

I didn't ask for this.

I didn't ask to be put
in the world this way.

I didn't know
how to live without you.

Without her!

I'm not Eleanor!

I can't imagine.

You should try to imagine

what it's like to wake up

and not know your own name.

To not know where you came from
or what you've lived through.

Do you know how alone I felt?

I am so, so sorry.

I lost her,

and then I lost my way.

(sniffles)

But I promise.
I wanna make it right.

I'm gonna take care of you.

And what about Jules?

Did you make her
before or after me?

Who?

Jules.

The teenage version of me.

I disabled the printer, Lucy.

I... It's gone.

I didn't print a teenager.

I have no idea
who you're talking about.

(sinister music)