03x04 - Download Doctor

[bunniefuu]

- Oh, f*ck! Fuckety, f*ck-f*ck!

- [VIV] Stay calm.

- We just have to stop the bleeding.

- It's just

Here. Um, put this up your nose.

Or-or this. Oh!

- Or-or this.

- A potato? Mom

Viv, stop. Look, you're making it worse.

Hold on. This. It's super absorbent.

- Oh.

- Aw, Nevaeh, you're all grown up,

but, guys, it's a nosebleed, okay?

It's-it's already stopping. I'm fine.

- It's fine. I'm fine.

- [NORA] Okay, what if it's not?

All right? Rupert

Tilford had a nosebleed

right before his, you know, his head

Blew up all over the place.

Honey, maybe you should go see a doctor.

[NATHAN] What's a doctor gonna do, Mom?

I'm a scientific anomaly.

Look, he's right, a

regular doctor can't help,

- but the doctor who invented download might be able to.

- Nora.

Look, I found him. Oscar

Mayer Intel fired him

but he's still living in San Francisco,

and-and it's not that far.

I'm supposed to be laying

low. Public transpo has

more cameras than a movie premiere.

- I'm fine.

- [MAURICIO] Mm.

Have you guys ever flown private?

I've got a hookup. You're gonna love it.

[THE BUGGLES: "VIDEO

k*lled THE RADIO STAR"]

- You were the last one ♪

- Video ♪

k*lled the radio star ♪

Video k*lled the radio star ♪

'Cause in my mind and in my car ♪

- Hey. Movie's over.

- We can't rewind, we've gone too far ♪

[SIGHS] Oh, we should

be at the doctor's soon.

I was thinking

I don't think we should

tell him I'm a download.

The more people that know about it,

the more dangerous it is, right?

So just, please, promise

me you won't say anything.

Fine. I promise.

So what are we gonna do?

I have a plan.

Do you actually have one

or are you just saying it confidently?

I'm just saying it confidently.

Well, you sounded sexy saying it.

Maybe I should come over there, then.

Maybe you should.

[VOCALIZING]

Oh!

[GROANS]

I'm okay.

♪

Ooh, that's cute.

Caption: "business trip, b*tches."

Hashtag "retreat yo self." Post.

Oh, take another one.

Take another picture.

Oh, my battery just d*ed.

Oh, it's so crazy how that happens

almost every time we

take a

take a photo.

Sorry, I

I popped, like, three

Ambiens on the plane.

Three Ambiens?

I don't sleep since my husband left me.

Lucy, I had no idea.

It's okay.

Look, I can't believe

that I am saying this,

but if you ever need s

[SNORING]

Okay.

Good talk.

What is she doing in San Francisco?

Call Nora.

[DEVICE CHIMING]

Hey.

Hey. It's been a while.

You will not believe where I

What is that noise?

Uh leaf blowers.

L.A. people are so

bougie with their lawns.

Oh, you're in L.A.?

Yeah, yeah.

Uh, in-in a sauna. Whew.

[CHUCKLES] Ooh.

- Why?

- Nothing. Never mind.

Um okay.

Okay.

Hey, you know what, I'm kind

of in the middle of something.

So, um, catch up later?

Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

[EXHALES]

[GASPS]

- [TRUCK HORN HONKS]

- [BOTH SCREAM]

- Car, child locks on.

- [LOCKS CLICK]

Do the choppy-choppy thing.

Fast enough?

Faster [VOICE VIBRATING]

Oh

Oh, I have to go.

Hey, I'm still covered in oil.

Aah! [GRUNTS]

So, what do you want

to do today, Brownie?

I'm down for anything as

long as it doesn't cost money.

Don't you work today?

Nope. Shop's closed. Ringworm outbreak.

Mr. Brown. Fifth floor?

- Yes, please.

- Oh, uh, push it yourself

- 'cause I'm on lunch.

- What?

It's 9:40 a.m.

What do you even eat?

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Oh. Okay, frisky.

No, Luke told me about a hack

to get to the first floor,

but we've never been able to try it

'cause the AI guy doesn't

let us push the buttons.

Baby, this is the first floor.

No, no, no, no.

Like, the very first first floor.

Okay? The showroom for the

Lakeview 1.0 beta version.

It's super lame, but it has a

bar with a free drunk setting.

Hmm. Well, I guess it was just a myth.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Okay.

- That was fun.

- Yep.

[COMPUTER ALERT SOFTLY BEEPING]

Huh?

Not again.

Ms. Kannerman's gonna k*ll me.

[LUKE] I'm so screwed.

If I don't find funding by tonight,

I'll be joining you down there tomorrow.

At least you get apples

for snacks. I-I like apples.

It's an onion.

Ugh! Blecch. God.

I can't munch onions

like a f*cking horse.

Uploads are not allowed to work.

How am I supposed to

keep myself in the style

to which I have become accustomed?

I know a way.

Are you willing to do

something a little sketchy?

Yes. What is it?

Okay, so,

head into the Grey Zone, go south.

You'll see a warehouse.

Ask them where the cheese

is. They'll hook you up.

Grey Zone south, warehouse,

cheese. Grey Zone south,

- warehouse, cheese. Got it.

- Cheese.

- Thanks, Yang.

- Hey. So,

you're cool and I feel

like we really click.

Would you maybe want to go on a

Huh. Wonder what she was gonna say.

Yeah, Grey Zone south,

warehouse, cheese.

Grey Zone south, warehouse, cheese.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Can I help you?

Hi. Yes. My husband,

or common-law spouse

[CHUCKLES] That's

irrelevant info, but, um,

we were taking a nice

walk and we got jumped.

Oh, my God. By whom?

Hoodlums. Just violent hoodlums.

- [MAN] Are you okay?

- [NORA] I-I am,

but, um, he got kicked in the head.

Ow. f*ck.

- Unbelievable.

- Could I borrow your phone to call a doctor?

Well, I could take a

look at him. I'm a doctor.

- What? Oh.

- Are you really?

- Unbelievable.

- Oh.

[NATHAN] Thank you.

Man, you're limping. They

really roughed you up, huh?

Oh, no. I sprained my

ankle kicking their asses.

[NORA CLEARS THROAT]

But, oh, they got me

with a cheap sh*t. Ow.

- Ow.

- Straight through.

[MANSOUR] A hundred

years ago, Founders' Grove

started as an elite institution

where a handful of powerful

and morally corrupt men

would retreat to make decisions

that would affect everyone.

But today, it welcomes our women

and gender-diverse into the fold.

No one is as naturally

devious as those non-male

Horizen rock stars.

So, please join me and give them a big,

inclusive round of applause.

[LUCY] Thank you. Thank you.

All right, thank you. Thank you, Lucy.

- Thank you.

- [MANSOUR] Mm-hmm.

So, PaneraAeon's been

growing their subscribers.

But we've stalled.

Last quarter was so bad

we had to shut down our

Civic Integrity unit.

[LIGHT CHUCKLES]

I want to hear some big-picture ideas.

Aleesha, let's hear your thoughts,

no matter how

disorganized or histrionic.

[CHUCKLES WEAKLY]

Uh uh, yeah. Uh

sure.

Actually, my family

recently visited Lakeview.

So, did they love it

or did they love it?

They thought it was crusty as hell.

Look, I have money

for the first time in my life.

I can afford to upload to Lakeview,

but I wouldn't want to.

I get that

I'm not Horizen's target demo,

but why can't I be?

Sorry, guys, she's new to this.

I would like to hear more.

Okay.

Where are the clubs or the sports teams?

I heard, hush-hush, from my nurse friend

at Mt. TacoBell-Sinai, that

Adele is on her last legs.

Why don't we lock her down

before PaneraAeon does?

Hmm.

What do you think, Karina?

It's bold. I like it.

Well done, Aleesha.

Uh, I know another demo we could target.

Children.

Research suggests

children recognize brands

by one and a half to two years of age,

and brand allegiance follows soon after.

So, let's get 'em excited about dying

before they learn to

read the fine print.

Jesus, Luce, you're a mother.

That was Vern's idea. He has no shame.

- [SNORING]

- [MANSOUR] Oh, God.

- Vern!

- [GASPS]

Yes. Definitely.

There's no sign of a concussion.

Really?

Well, can you scan the rest

of him, just to be sure?

I mean, those hoodlums

they b*at him like a piñata.

Okay, that's an exaggeration.

Normal lungs, normal stomach.

Upper GI, lower GI. Penis.

All in excellent shape.

You only have 14% body fat.

That's very fit.

Fourteen? It's usually ten.

Everything is checking out normal.

You're free to go.

Okay, great. Thanks, Doc.

Wait.

He's a download.

[CHUCKLES] She-She's kidding.

No, I'm serious. He is a download.

No, we've been day drinking.

We are so drunk.

You know what? Check,

if you don't believe me.

[NORA] "Property of Ingrid Kannerman."

It says that?

How long have you been downloaded?

Twenty-six days.

Look, and I-I know the longest

a download pigeon has lasted is 84,

but considering that

he weighs a lot more,

- that maybe

- [KAPOOR] Oh, I see

you have a medical degree

- from the University of TikTok.

- [SCOFFS]

Well, don't you want

to hear how he's doing?

I mean, his stomach's a mess.

Everything's spicy,

and he farts constantly.

[GASPS] You noticed.

Also he's had a nosebleed.

Actually, I've had four nosebleeds.

[SCOFFS]

I want you to take one

of these every morning

to manage your symptoms.

And if they get much

worse, then re-upload.

Now, forget that you ever saw me.

And if you come back here again

I'll have you arrested

for trespassing. We clear?

Okay. Is there a symptom that

maybe we should look out for,

like go to the hospital and upload if

- Call NextDoor-ADT.

- Hang up.

Call Domino's. Thanks, Doc.

- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

- [OPERATOR] Yeah, Dr. Kapoor,

what's your pizza order?

I'll take a personal pan

with pepperoni and jalapenos.

♪

[GASPS]

- Is that

- Uh

[GASPS]

Hello, adventurous dying person,

and welcome to Lakeview, a

digital life extension by Horizen.

I'm looking up reviews

from when it first opened.

"One star. My avatar has no eyelids

and also no butt cr*ck.

It's just one big cheek." Oh, God.

"The creepy concierge stares

into my soul." [SHORT CHUCKLE]

"To be honest, would

choose death next time."

Aw

Oh

Where's the cheese?

- [DOOR BUZZES]

- [LOCK CLICKS]

Oh, you're my kind of mouse, beefsteak.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Headset, script.

Cheese?

Cheese is for closers.

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

You're late.

Because you had me combing through

eight hours of surveillance tapes.

And? Was he at Freeyond?

You're asking me if Nathan Brown

the guy we k*lled,

the guy who lives across

the hall from you

you're asking me if he came

back to life for an afternoon

so he could spy on our

meeting and clean bathrooms?

It would be unwise of

you to keep implying

that I have digital dementia.

Do yourself a favor.

Beef up the security

- for tonight's meeting.

- Yeah, I'll get on that.

Who do you want me to call,

Ghost Blasters? [SNORTS]

It's "Busters," you twit.

Ghoul Busters?

Have you dreamed of

upload for a loved one

but never been able to afford it?

UpandUp will get them

situated and conscious

within a week of your check clearing.

And here's the best part.

We'll set them up with

a job in our call center

to make them self-supporting."

[WOMAN] Isn't that illegal?

The three regulations:

can't vote, can't work,

can't copy.

We are anticipating

a change in the rules

with the next election.

Trust me, I'm an upload,

and I'm taking advantage of this.

- And your son

- [MAN] Elijah.

Elijah's going to love working here.

Better than being stuck

on some drive. [CHUCKLES]

[MAN] Can we think about it?

This offer will not last

forever, but if you act now,

- Elijah will.

- [INDISTINCT WHISPERING]

[BOTH] We're in.

Great. I'll email you the paperwork,

and have a blessed day.

Delores! Got 'em!

[WHOOPS]

First sale. Congrats

closer.

I mean, that doctor was acting off.

Wasn't he off?

I-I don't think you

should take those pills.

Oh, I have an idea.

How about I promise you

I won't take the pills

and then, without talking to you,

I just start taking the

pills? Mmm. Kind of like this.

[GROANING]

[JAGGED EXHALE]

Oh. Hilarious.

Yeah, you know, I love bits

where people I care about

most in the world die

right in front of me.

- It's so fun.

- Forget it.

[SIGHS] Can we hack a Casper

Sit and Sleep drone this time

and fly home on a mattress?

Well, I was thinking we

should stay here for tonight.

- [CLEARS THROAT] Really?

- Mm-hmm.

Whatever would we do here

without my mom and Mauricio hovering?

Uh, well, one of them has

a grandchild in the Castro,

and the other's wife lives in Chinatown.

Deliver hard drives.

So hot.

- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

- Wow.

I mean, I know I shouldn't,

but I kind of love the tartan.

Argle? Argyle? Plaid?

Ing

Ingrid?

Ingrid. sh*t.

- Boo! Aah!

- Aah!

- [LAUGHS]

- sh*t.

- I scared you. I scared you.

- No.

- Yes, I did.

- No, you didn't.

Admit it.

- Oh, what is

- What?

Oh, here's the switch.

- Whoa!

- [SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

Hey, man, uh

we're not looking for trouble, okay?

We're just looking for the bar.

The bar is just over here.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Ingrid, stop messing around.

Have a blessed day.

Five sales, five bitcoin.

Zalan's happy, beefsteak.

[SIGHS]

♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Hey. Can I hide here?

Mansour got pulled into a meeting,

and I swear I will sui-scan right now

if I have to talk to Vern ever again.

- Yeah. Hide with me.

- [LAUGHS]

Thank you.

It's Aleesha, right?

- Karina.

- I know.

You're kind of a big deal here.

After today, I'd say

you're the big deal.

I've been trying to get Mansour

to modernize Lakeview for years.

You got him there in 30 seconds.

That's that's some skill.

[BARTENDER] Can I get you a drink?

Yeah, what are you having?

A dirty martini.

That sounds perfect.

It has been a while since

I had a free night, though,

so I might have to

remember how to have fun.

- [LAUGHS]

- It's easy.

- We got a open bar.

- Oh, well, then let's get some tallboys

- after these martinis.

- Wow.

Someone from upper management

knows what a tallboy is?

You are not the only

one who didn't grow up

in Horizen's target demo.

Actually, would you want to go somewhere

a little more quiet?

Yeah. Sure.

My buddy from college,

Holden, lives in this building.

Oh, I don't want to

put your friend at risk.

Eh, Holden's a bicoastal lawyer.

Place is always empty. Oh.

Hey.

We can crash here.

How are we gonna get in?

Uh

[AUTOMATED VOICE] Welcome

back, Nathan Brown.

You're saved in the door?

Yeah. I actually used to live here.

Oh. So you two were roommates?

Mm-hmm.

Um, I'm gonna go wash up, okay?

Okay. I'll find some food.

Wow.

Huh. I guess Holden's a

bit of a plant daddy, huh?

[SIGHS]

[DOG BARKS]

- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

- [KEYS JINGLE]

- [DOOR OPENS]

- [WHISPERING] Nathan. I think we were followed.

- [DOOR CLOSES]

- [DOG BARKS]

- Nathan.

- [KEYS JINGLE]

[DOG PANTING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

- [GRUNTS]

- What the f*ck?

- [DOG BARKING]

- [EXCLAIMS] Oh Holden.

Nathan?

Holden.

Oh, my God. How

You're dead. I went to your funeral.

Are you a ghost?

No, I'm not a ghost.

Look, this might sound crazy, but

I downloaded.

- You downloaded?

- Yeah.

And then you came to see me?

- Oh

- That's so f*cking romantic.

- Oh, um,

- [NORA CLEARS THROAT]

- um

- Hi. Hey. Hi.

Norm-Norma Nor-Nora,

Holden. Holden, Nora.

Old college buddy, huh?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I mean, technically, we

were buddies in college,

and then also

hung out, uh, off and

on, for several years.

- Hung out?

- Hung out?

- Yeah. Yep.

- Yeah.

We'll talk about this later.

- Super.

- Do I know you from somewhere?

We met at Nathan's funeral.

Oh, right. Sorry, you just

looked different ambushing

me in my apartment.

You were his coworker, right?

Actually girlfriend now.

Oh, ha.

This is very awkward.

So, I totally misread

this situation, yeah?

So, what are you doing here?

I will explain everything,

but we're starving. Can we eat first?

Or we could leave,

because clearly we're

imposing on your ex-girlfriend.

It's-it's fine. It's okay.

Uh, there's an Indian place nearby.

- That might k*ll me.

- [NORA] Yeah.

Nathan can't really handle

spicy food since he downloaded.

Oh, geez. I could order a pizza.

No mushrooms. I know you're allergic.

That would be great, but way too spicy.

Do you have anything

less hot than cereal?

I could Golden Retriever

a bag of marshmallows.

Yes, perfect. And maybe

some marshmallow fluff,

if it's not too much trouble?

Maybe some egg whites.

Looks like you've had a

little too much fluff, yeah?

You know, I was

thinking about you during

all this Freeyond business.

It reminded me of your startup.

Mm, Freeyond. What a sh*t show.

Yeah. My firm looked into suing them,

but it was a nonprofit,

so, no deep pockets.

They didn't even have

insurance against Ludd att*cks.

Honestly, the whole thing makes me sick.

Well, the Ludds had

nothing to do with it.

How would you know that?

It's okay.

It's a little bit of a long story.

m*therf*cker!

You called, sir?

[MANSOUR] Can we start?

Where's, um, Looney Tunes?

It's best Mr. Choak no longer attend.

Oh, sad.

Let's discuss midterms, shall we?

- [WOMAN] Oh, okay. Yeah.

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Damn.

So, there are deep

pockets behind Freeyond.

The deepest.

I'm gonna take this back

to the senior partners.

I think we could start

a class action suit

on behalf of all those poor folks

on the drives. You could be

a real help to us if you wanted.

- That would be amazing.

- Yeah?

Yeah. Whatever you need.

Aw. Poor guy ate too many marshmallows.

Angel!

Call Baskin Robots and tell them

to fire up an exo-suit for me.

If they think I'm too unstable

to attend an AR meeting,

I'll crash it myself.

Smart. Nothing says stable like

kicking in the door in a robot suit.

I don't need any attitude from you.

You're a sucker fucker, aren't you?

How do you know that?

Choak Enterprises owns the company

that makes your dirty little dirt devil.

You'd be surprised at the amount

of data we're able to collect.

Let's get you in that robot suit.

[NATHAN BACKUP] So, uh,

last man standing down here, huh?

[MAN] Yeah. The others

upgraded for eyelids

and butt cracks, but

I kept my first data plan.

Who needs eyelids?

Hundred and eighty degree field of view.

Best seat in the house. [CLICKS TONGUE]

That sound is me winking at you.

Ah, aw No.

Stop.

This sh*t's getting old, though.

So, you and blondie pretty serious?

Uh, I don't know. We break up a lot.

Really? From what I saw, you

guys seemed good together.

Hmm. I don't know. It's complicated.

I have a, uh, unique

history with her dad.

And, um, there was this

girl who worked here

who I got kind of hung up on.

So, why aren't you with that girl, then?

She left.

I have no idea where she is.

I'm sorry, man, you don't

want to hear all this crap.

Hey, hey, come on, come on, come on.

Does it look like I have

anything better to do?

Go on.

I don't know, it's kind of weird.

Ingrid has lied to me so many times,

but I still trust her to

always be there for me.

Mm

Does that make sense? I'm

suddenly are finding

it hard to think.

And heavy.

Oh, that's because

I'm absorbing your life force.

Oh. Cool.

Wait. What? How?

A bug. There's tons of them down here.

But this one's definitely the most fun.

[CHUCKLES] Oh

Oh, here we go.

[LAUGHS]

- It's embarrassing.

- [LAUGHING]

Are you gonna k*ll us?

Just enough drainage so you can't leave.

It's lonely down here.

Plus, I'm probably

gonna borrow your eyelids

- and butt cr*ck.

- [GASPS] No.

[SHOUTING]

Babe, thank God you came back.

f*cking vampire. God.

I saved us, Brownie.

Yeah, you did, babe. I love you so much.

I love you, babe.

What? What, is he still awake? What?

Why! Won't! You!

Go! Down?! [GRUNTS]

Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe.

- No eyelids, remember?

- Oh. Duh. [CHUCKLES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Play it cool. Everything's normal.

Huh?

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[WHIMPERS]

[SCOFFS]

You leaving already?

Hey.

I was trying not to wake you.

I got to catch my flight back.

Well, I think you forgot something.

Looks like maybe a pillowcase.

I was planning on keeping

it professional this weekend.

And what is the profession

that wears these?

Just throw them away.

And let housekeeping

see them in my trash?

Mm-mmm.

- Just

- Ooh! [CHUCKLES]

You're gonna make me miss my flight.

You can come back with me on my jet.

[OCIE ELLIOTT: "I GOT YOU, HONEY"]

Yeah, maybe we should keep these.

I don't know if the

jet's got a parachute.

[LAUGHS]

♪ I have no record ♪

♪ Of brighter days ♪

♪ Your light is on me ♪

♪ I can say ♪

I have no parts ♪

- I have no lines ♪

- [IVAN PANTING]

♪ But I have you ♪

♪ And you have me, honey ♪

♪ Water's wet and ♪

♪ Light is light ♪

♪ Got upset and now I'm ♪

♪ Doing fine ♪

♪ When I come home ♪

♪ When I calm down ♪

♪ I have you ♪

♪ You have me, honey ♪

♪ Summer breaks ♪

♪ Winter storms ♪

♪ I don't mind ♪

♪ Getting on ♪

♪ 'Cause we're going, living ♪

♪ Glad to be ♪

♪ 'Cause I have you ♪

♪ And you have me, honey ♪

♪