01x05 - Balloonenstein

[bunniefuu]

Gentlemen, feast your eyes.

What the hell? Aah!

Phase down, damn it!

Oh! Sweet, sweet nectar.

It's like my pool is tearing ass

around the backyard.

But it's staying still.

Still waters run deep.

Yeah, Carl. Sweet!

This is tricked out, my friend! Turbo!

You stay away from it, because you are weird.

Mmnh!

Oh, what did you do? You--aah!

Oh, my god!

I know! The water! It's all gone!

Someone get over here and help me!

Shake, get the hose.

I got it. Just hit the water.

It's the blue knob.

Hurry up! This pool is goin' dry.

What are you talking about?

Hang on tight to that end,

and whatever you do, do not let go!

Just go! I've got you.

Grab my potatoes, Carl.

Sure. Why not?

Ok. Reel me in, Shake.

Shake!

Shake!

No!

Meatwad, it's spaghetti time!

Oh, boy! Spaghetti, huh?

Far our! Spaghetti!

Now, that's Italian!

Yeah! It is!

There it is. Eat it.

That don't look like no spaghetti at all.

There.

Now it's spaghetti. Now eat it!

This noodle's black,

and it's hooked up to the TV set.

Put it in your mouth. Come on.

You're messing with me, aren't you?

Oh, you're right. I'm very sorry.

The real spaghetti got wet when I was boiling it,

so...it's in the dryer.

Well, why didn't you say so? It's probably dry by now.

Let's go get it.

Spaghetti?

Now, remember, I like it spicy.

Ha ha ha!

So stupid!

Hey, wait a second! Why is it spinning?

Come on, think about it, Meatwad.

It's a dryer, man.

Of course it's gonna spin.

Uhh! Damn! What dimension was that?

Carl, your hands!

Yeah, I know. I see 'em. They're very big.

Well, it was fun. I'm gonna go take a nap now

and then I think I'm gonna call some hospitals.

Frylock! Thank god you're alive!

You let go of the hose, didn't you?

I had to, Frylock.

I had... A load of laundry.

You don't wear clothes, Shake.

'Cause none of them are clean!

Every time I try to clean them,

you have to enter some vortex or something.

It's ridiculous!

Why don't you marry the vortex

if you love it so much?

Help me! What was that?

Oh, those were my... Talking pants.

They say, "help me"

every time you open the fly.

It's very annoying.

Where's Meatwad?

I don't know. How should I know?

I brought back some presents--

presents?! You brought presents?! Where are they?

Presents? What'd you get me?

Oh, here he is!

I found him in the dryer.

What are you doing in there?

You know what I was doing in there.

Oh, hello, Meatwad. You got a sock on your--

Damn!

What have you done to me?

Are we getting the presents now

or what? Help!

Move him toward the ceiling fan.

Oh, ok. Yeah.

No! Not toward the ceiling fan!

Oof!

sh**t, that was cool! I liked that!

How'd I do it?

You shall never do that again! Ever!

That looked to be

a static-induced electrical beam.

Ouch.

How long were you in that dryer?

Like, a week.

Now, it was like days.

It wasn't a week.

Where are the presents?

Yeah. Where are the presents, hmm?

What is this?

Look, it's a letter opener and some stationery

and some pencils.

Oh, boy! I'd probably use those all the time

if I knew how to write.

Thank you, Frylock. That is so sweet.

You're very welcome, Meatwad.

Yeah. Thanks for nothin'.

Hey, Frylock, can I get an education with all this?

Teachers don't want to come over here--

no, wait! Aah!

Damn, Shake! Man, that's got to hurt.

Shake! Hmm?

Where is my popsicle?

Please! Wait a second!

I require a popsicle every minutes.

You obviously did not read the memo.

This is your memo?

I didn't know what this is!

Oh!

You sicken me with your lies.

I'll make you some right away.

Make me some?!

Please do not insult what little intelligence I have.

I need it now.

Then I'll go to the store. Please, sir!

Yes, you will. Now, what is the magic word, bitch?

Please let me go to the store

and get popsicles for you.

Thank you, sire.

That's right.

You better run, boy,

and bring back some chocolate syrup, too,

or your fate is sealed.

Hey, what you doin'?

Just doing a little day-trading.

I'm purchasing shares of...

...nothing.

Well, that's good.

You want to play clam-digger?

You just fried my hard drive.

Oh, well...Hey, let's play freeze-tag.

You don't need a computer for that.

No, let's play

get-away-from-Frylock's- expensive-equipment-

and-go-outside-so- he-can-call-his-broker.

How do we play that game?

Aw, jeez, these are raw.

Well, hey, back at ya, neighbor.

How are you doin'?

Don't talk to me. And get off my grass!

Everywhere you go, it turns brown.

Yeah. I'm really sorry about that.

I noticed that, too.

I guess you want me in the pool

so that I'm off the grass, right?

Yeah! Get in my pool!

I really want a big pot of gallons of stew.

All right. This is gonna be a / ,

but you gotta watch my face,

'cause otherwise you can't tell if I'm spinning.

Meatwad, no!

Here we go!

Aah!

Ohh! Carl?

Ohh!

You ok? My heart.

Damn it, Meatwad! Everywhere you go,

something dies or gets hurt!

Everybody hates me because they die or get hurt.

Well, squirrely doesn't hate me. He loves me.

Where is my buddy squirrely?

Oh, here he is.

I found him face up in the hallway

after your last little hug.

Squirrely, no!

Squirrely. Squirrely.

Yeah. I think you better stop hugging him now.

He's starting to smoke.

Noooo!

Get this power out of me, Frylock.

Call a priest, do what you have to do,

but I need an exorcism.

No, no. You don't need an exorcism.

You need... A balloonism!

A balloonism?

Man, what the hell you talking about, Frylock?

Ain't no such thing.

A balloonism, huh?

Now just rub this up and down your body slowly

so it will absorb the electricity.

Yeah. Um, can I have a little privacy?

Oh, oh. Sure. Of course.

Will this hurt him?

It shouldn't.

Then why are we doing it?!

Frylock, I'm just not feelin' it here.

Here, let me see it.

Oh, look! It's squirrely!

All right! Squirrely! Y'all step out now.

I think I got this covered.

The second, and I mean the very second

that he is out of that power,

I am gonna b*at his brain so far into the--

did you say something, Shake?

Oh, nothing, sire!

What the--

now, what the hell is this?

Now look what you've done!

You've created a balloonenstein!

Squirrely, no. Don't go so high.

Come back to daddy.

You--aah!

Damn! He's feeding on my energy.

You don't even know what you're doing, do you?

We need to pop it, Shake.

All right. Here's the plan.

Get the letter opener and pencils

and load 'em in my straw.

All right. Am I loaded?

Am I ready to go?

They're all in there, right?

Yeah. Let 'er rip!

This is for sh**ting me on the roof!

And making me call you sire!

Stop!

You're weak.

Oh, no! The wind's picking up!

Well, that's good, right? I mean,

he's out of our hair. Hey, go wind!

You know what I mean?

He's headed toward the ocean, Shake.

The ocean? Oh, no! The beach!

Aqua teen hunger force, assemble!

There he is!

Yes, there he is, but I'm not parkin' here.

I know there's something closer than this.

There's no time!

Come back here! I can't carry a cooler by myself!

Oh, great!

Glass! That's it! Meatwad!

What? I'm about to go swimming.

I need your brain.

For what? I need my brain.

Look, I need to create a cavity inside of you

so that you'll float.

Then all I need you to do

is roll around in this broken glass for a little bit.

Come on. It'll be fun.

What are you talking about?

Hell, no.

I mean...Ok.

Hey, who wants this volleyball?

I just went--aw, gross! Is that a brain?

Go destroy balloonenstein!

Uhh!

Do what, now?

Pop the balloon with the glass!

Ok. Yeah, all right.

Do what, now?

Pop it with the glass! The glass in your head!

I know! I know. Don't yell at me.

Do what, now?

What's going on? What are you doing?

Damn it! He needs his brain. Otherwise,

he's just gonna float around forever

saying, "do what, now?"

Well, guess what? He's not getting it back,

because it is now the nerve center

for the city of the future-- los braingeles.

Frylock, they use starfish for money!

The vortex! Meatwad, come on in!

Do what, now?

Oh, no! It just took Meatwad!

Ooh! You almost stepped on the mall!

Damn, look at these boys.

They crazy little mothers, man.

What?

And thank you, lord, for giving me the power

and the intelligence

to open the sky with my mind

and save everyone from danger.

Amen.

The end.

What about Meatwad?

What about him? He's gone.

Look, we got his brain.

We'll just make another one...Somehow.

Uh-Huh.

Don't make me open the sky again.

'Cause I will do it if you aggravate--

ok, ok. Let's just have a moment of silence

for Meatwad.

Carl, bow your head.

Where are my popsicles?

Damn!

Is that you, god?

Frylock, get away from the pool.

Aw, hell.

Turnover!