04x01 - The Tale of the Renegade Virus

[bunniefuu]

[Creaking]

[Clattering]

[Child's laughter]

Uh, why is Gary late?

He had to rewrite
a book report.

Rewrite it?

His computer
has a virus.

Every time he tries
to print something,

it gets erased.

Ooh, scary.

The only thing scary
about computers

are the people
who use them.

Yeah, tell me about it.
Sorry I'm late.

A computer virus ate up
my book report twice,

so on the way here I had
to borrow a virus doctor.

When I get home, I'm gonna
destroy the rotten little virus,

and find out who planted
it in my computer.

Careful. A virus can
do a lot of damage.

I know. A virus
is a disease.

It gets inside
and takes hold,

and once it
starts spreading,

it's impossible
to shake.

It's just a computer virus.

Sure it is,
and it's just a computer.

But viruses
can jump around,

and there's one computer

you never want one
to get into.

What computer is that?

The human brain.

Say what?

You've got a trillion bits
of information

stored up here,
just like a computer.

And if a computer virus
got into your head,

there's no telling
what might happen,

or where the destruction
would end.

Submitted for the approval
of the Midnight Society,

I call this story...

Computer: Access approved:
Code red.

Input may cause
extreme danger.

Repeat: Extreme danger.

Radio: It's : , and we have
a beautiful sunny...

[Bang]

[Moans]

Susan, you've been in
there for minutes.

Come on, honey,
it's getting late.

I need a ride
to school, Dad.

What's wrong with the bus?

Hey!

[Yawns]

You gonna help me

with my science
project tonight?

No problem.

You're the best.

Do you need a lift
to school, honey?

What's wrong with his bike?

He has a flat tire.

I'm OK. I'll ride
Evan's bike.

What's Evan gonna ride?

I'll see you, Dad.

Hey, where's your bike?

seconds left,
down by ...

Evan moves long.

Touchdown.

Nice catch.

Hey!

Thanks a lot.

Hey, pay-back
for the egg

you put in my
sneaker yesterday.

Well, at least
I didn't make you late.

What's the matter?

Forgot your combo?

I switched our locks.

Cute, real cute.

Uh, hi, Sonya.

Uh, you going to
that game on Saturday?

Yeah. Uh, how about you?

Uh, yeah. I thought
maybe we could--

Hi.
Hi.

I'm going with Simon.

Maybe we'll see you there.

Yeah. Maybe.

Let's go.

"I'm going with Simon."

Simon this, Simon that.

Simon's the best.

Yeah, right.

Mr. Lewis,
would you mind

giving more effort
into being here on time?

Yes, Mr. Smith.

Yes, you would mind
giving more effort?

I mean, no, Mr. Smith.

[Laughter]

Sorry. I was just
getting you back.

You like pay-back? Well,
just wait, Mr. Everything.

You're gonna
wish you never...

Is this something you'd like
to share with the entire class?

Maybe a little less talking

and a little more
paying attention.

[Pencil lead breaks]

I've never seen him
like that.

He's probably still
ticked at me.

Simon, Simon, Simon!

Come on, he's finished.

I'm sorry about
this morning, man.

I didn't mean to get you
in trouble.

It's history.
Poe's ready.

Who?

The science teacher.

He's been working
on a computer game.

We bug him to get the
first cr*ck at it.

Let's go.

I guess he's not
mad at you.

Yeah. Well, I'll see
you tomorrow, OK?

Mr. Poe?

[Alarm rings]

Sound-activated alarm.

You cannot be too ca...

You can't be too careful.

Industrial spies.

My boys,
you are about to have

the game-playing experience
of a lifetime.

Who goes first?

Uh, Simon.

Me? You're
the computer genius.

That's the beauty
of this game.

You don't need to know a thing
about computers to play.

Cool.

Sit down.

Make yourself
comfortable.

So...

How do I play?

Are you familiar
with virtual reality?

Sort of.

It's a computer simulation
of reality.

It makes you feel
like you're really there.

The technology
is in its infancy,

but the possibilities
are endless.

I've made a breakthrough

that surpasses
any known program.

My friends, we are about
to step into history.

Um, Mr. Poe?

Where are the controls?

Right there.

In your mind.

It's almost like going
into a deep dream,

where everything
seems real.

Your neuron impulses

react with the microwave
circuitry,

and that creates a certain
force of energy that...

They'll know what to do.

[Telephone rings]

Man: Mr. Poe, the president
is on the phone

on the private line.

Tell him, uh...

Uh, tell him
I'll be right there.

I'm reluctant to work
with the government.

Too much paperwork.

Now, Simon.
What's your preference?

Would you like to go
on a voyage to Saturn?

Be a knight
of the round table?

Or visit the dinosaurs
of the mesozoic?

Well, I think I'll go with
the knight of the round table.

Done.

Computer: Input accepted.

Once I start you, Evan
will monitor the game

while I take that call.

Now, sit back, relax.

And just imagine that--
what the...?

Warning. This is a warning.

Code red.

There's no reason
for that.

Have a nice day.

Ready, Simon?

Ready.

Then prepare yourself
to take a trip

into imagination.

Aaaaaggggghhhhhhh!

Radio: Good morning,
it's : , and...

[Bang]

It was all a dream.

Too bad.

[Glass shatters]

How'd that happen?

Morning.

Hey, anybody up?

[Radio static]

Mom? Dad?

What's going on?

Mom: Have you
seen Simon?

Sister: No.

Dad: Funny. I wonder
where he is?

I'm right here.

Susan, would you
call your brother?

Simon,
breakfast is ready.

Simon, are you
down there?

I'm up here, Simon.

Mom?

Mom?

I'm in here, honey.

Don't be late
for school.

Now don't be late
for school.

Don't be late
for school.

Don't be late
for school.

Don't be late
for school.

Don't be late
for school.

Don't be late
for school.

Don't be late
for school.

Evan: Hey, come on.

Dad: Simon, could I
have a word with you?

Dad?

Either I'm dreaming, or something
real strange is going on here.

Well, son,
you're not dreaming.

So, I guess that leaves
us with something strange.

[Laughs]

Who are you? What are
you doing in my house?

This isn't your house,
Einstein.

You're in cyberspace.

Cyber what?

Cyberspace.
Virtual reality.

You're still
in the game, Einstein,

except that the rules
have changed.

[Laughing]

But what happened to the
knights of the round table?

I blew 'em away.

I'm a virus;
That's what I do.

[Laughs]

A computer virus.
How'd you get in here?

All that matters now

is how I'm getting out.

Most viruses infect
and destroy.

[Growls]

But I'm smarter
than that.

I've got bigger plans.

[Laughing]

None of this
is real, you know.

It's input
from the computer,

right into your head.

But I've done a little
reprogramming.

I don't think you should
mess with it.

Ha ha ha. Too late.

You've given me
the perfect setup.

What do you mean?

Once my program runs,

I'll be able
to output myself

from this stupid game
right into your brain.

My br... what?

When they turn off
the game,

I'm going to stay
inside your brain.

[Laughs]

You're gonna take me into
the real world, Einstein,

where I can cause
some real damage.

[Laughing]

I don't believe you.

Oh, it's already
started.

Look at your hand.

[Cries out]

But this is a game.
There has to be rules.

Sure.

Rule number one:

I win, you lose.

[Laughs]

That's not fair.

OK, I'll be fair.

You can escape
from this game,

but you've got only...

Program will run
in minutes

and seconds.

You heard it, Einstein.

[Chuckles]

Good luck.

Aaaaaggggghhhhhh!

So, what was it like

to be one of the knights
of the round table?

There's something wrong.
There's a virus.

Virus? Why,
that's impossible.

There is! Things are
all wrong. You got to--

I will not sit still and let
you insult my life's work.

Get out.

But...
I said out!

Hey, guys?

What's the matter,
forgot your combo?

Let's go, Evan.

Sorry. Going to the game
with my girl.

But, Evan.

Evan.

I'm still in the game.

Mr. Poe, open up.

It's me.

Evan, Evan, open up.

The voice.

Mr. Smith?

You're late, and this is

the most important test
of your life.

Does anyone know
what + equals?

Five?

Correct. Anyone else?

. minutes left.

Correct. Simon?

Uh, .

And exactly what formula
did you use?

[Cries out]

[Laughing]

[Laughter]

[Cries out]

I've got to get
out of here.

What'd the virus say?

The computer's inputting
into my head.

I've got to reprogram
the computer.

[Laughter]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Enjoying the game, Einstein?

[Laughing]

The speed of light

divided by the speed
of sound equals...

Five.

Five minutes left.

[Laughing]

Oh, man.

Relax.

I've got to think.

Don't panic.

Warning. This is a warning.

Correction--may cause
extreme danger.

Warning.

Hi, Simon.
How's the game going?

Evan, is it really you?

In the flesh.

Evan,
get me out of here.

The thing's gone
berserk.

I know. Somebody
planted a virus.

It was you, wasn't it?

Where's Poe?

Still on the phone.

But come on, Simon. I thought
you could do anything.

You can get out
of this yourself.

-minute warning.

This is
your -minute warning.

[Laughing]

Did you see that?

See what?

The virus.

It's gonna take over
my brain.

Get me out of here.

Not until you apologize for
all the things you did to me.

What?

[Buzzes]

It's here, Evan. Help!

Not until you apologize.

Stop it, you dweeb.
Help me.

Yoo-hoo, anybody home?

I'm sorry, all right?

I don't believe you.

I'm running
out of time, Evan.

OK, relax. I programmed
the virus myself.

It won't do anything
to you.

No? What do you
call this?

Oh, no.

[Laughs]

Going up?

[Laughing]

That wasn't supposed
to happen.

He's running his own
program. Stop it!

OK. OK, let me think.

I just have to enter
the abort code.

[Typing]

It doesn't work.
He's frozen me out.

Then unfreeze it.

I can't. Nothing responds.

[Laughing]

It won't be long now.

[Laughs]

Evan!

OK. You can abort
from in there,

but you need the code.

Well, give it to me.

I bet you can figure out
what it is.

Just give it to me!

OK. The code
is my com...

Evan?
Program ends

in one minute...

Evan?

[Laughing]

That's good, that's good.

Com, he said com.

Computer guy.

[Rattling]

Your combo?

Combo.

You can't block me out,
Einstein.

Evan's locker combo.

[Laughing]

Miss me?

Correct input.
Escape code accepted.

Guess you lose.
Press any key...

[Laughs]

Think so?

Press any key...

Press any key...

I told you. Rule number
one: I win. You lose.

[Laughs]

Now,
I'll need your hand.

[Laughs]

[Laughing]

No!

I think I'm gonna enjoy
being inside your brain.

[Laughing]

Kiss your brain
good-bye.

[Laughing]

No! No! No!

Rule number .
Forget rule number one.

Simon,
are you all right?

Yeah.

I'm OK.

I don't know how a virus
could have gotten in there.

Me neither.

Probably just an accident.

That wasn't supposed
to happen, si.

I just wanted
to pay you back.

Oh, you paid me back,
all right.

Do you hate me?

Naw, but... I'm riding
your bike home.

Forget it.

The end.

All right. Great story.

You know what I liked
about that story?

What?

No matter how bad
a thing Evan did,

Simon always forgave him.

You know what I liked
about the story?

What?

That the virus
is still alive,

and if you're
not careful,

it'll jump
into your computer.

I got to go.
Later.

[Laughter]

Yes.

Got him again,
Gary.