-Golly, Dennis.
How come we have to meet
this dumb girl anyway?
-Yeah, how come?
-Because she comes from
Hong Kong, that's how come.
-Where's that?
-Hong Kong's in the
Far East, you dope.
-You mean New York?
-No.
Girls.
When I grow up, I'm gonna
go into a monastery.
-What's a monastery?
-Don't you know
anything, Seymour?
It's a bunch of men's clubs
on the top of mountains
all over the world,
and no dumb old girls
are allowed to
climb up and join.
[theme music]
-Dennis.
Will you come in
a minute, please?
-OK, mom.
Just a minute, fellas.
Yes mom?
-Dennis, I want you
and your friends
to go on over there now.
-Jeepers, mom.
What will we say to her?
We don't even speak
the same language.
-Mrs. Wilson says Sen Yuen
speaks excellent English.
-I still can't quite
understand what
that little girl's
doing next door.
-She's staying with the
Wilsons for a few days
while her father's
upstate on business.
Mr. Wilson met them once
on a trip to Hong Kong.
-All the way from Hong Kong?
-I believe Mr. Wilson's
doing some kind
of magazine article about him.
He's an exporter
of oriental goods.
-Hey, I wonder if he brought any
Chinese firecrackers with him.
-Never mind.
Now, you and the other boys go
on over next door and meet her.
I want you to.
-That's a good idea, Dennis.
-Well, what about
our baseball game?
-What about your
baseball game, son?
-OK, I'll go over and meet her.
That's the trouble
with getting older.
People start throwing
girls at you all the time.
-John, we've tried everything.
-We'll we've got to keep trying.
Look at her.
Martha, try.
-Sen Yuen, I haven't
lived here long myself,
but I understand they
have a very fine museum.
Would you like to
visit it this morning?
-No thank you, Mrs. Wilson.
I do wish mother had
come with us this trip.
-I have it.
Uh, let's play some Checkers.
-No offense meant, Mr. Wilson,
but I did best you games
in a row last night.
There is one thing I would like
to do while I'm here, if I may.
-Of course dear, what's that?
-I would be forever
grateful if I
could meet some American
children of my own age.
-Of course.
Now, why didn't we
think of a child.
Dennis!
-Eloise?
No need to give the
child a distorted
picture of American youth.
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
Hey, Mr. Wilson!
-Well, Sen Yuen, your wish
is about to be granted.
-Ah, good morning, children.
-Hi Mrs. Wilson.
We've come to say hello to
that-- that little girl who's
staying here.
-How nice of you, children.
I'll call her.
Sen Yuen?
-Now remember, you guys.
Say hello and then b*at it.
-I don't even want to say hello.
-Sen Yuen, this is
Dennis Mitchell.
-How do you do, Dennis?
-How do you do?
-And these are Dennis'
friends Tommy and Seymour.
-Hello Tommy.
Hello Seymour.
-You're pretty.
-Jam it.
Come on, Dennis.
-Do you play baseball, Sen Yuen?
-I'm not quite sure.
Precisely, how is
baseball played?
-Oh, brother.,
-It's a dumb old game, anyway.
How about roller skating?
-I feat that is an art
I know nothing about.
-Come on, Dennis.
Let's get going.
-Hey, I got an idea.
Would you like to come over
to my place and see my stuff?
-There goes the old ball game.
-Your stuff?
-Yeah, my frog,
fish, baseball cards,
and my stuffed alligator.
-Oh, I'd like that.
If you'll wait, please,
while I get permission.
-Now, why'd you go and do
a dumb thing like that for?
-Flipped your lid or something?
-Listen you guys.
She's a foreigner, isn't she?
And remember how Miss
Edwards at school
is always telling us to
be nice to foreigners.
MARGARET (OFFSCREEN):
Oh, Dennis!
What are you boys doing?
-Oh, uh, hi Margaret.
-I'm ready, Dennis.
-OK, Sen Yuen.
I live over there.
-Dennis Mitchell.
Aren't you even gonna introduce
me to your new friend?
-Oh, sure.
Sen Yuen, this is Margaret.
-She's a girl too.
-How do you do?
-How do you do?
-Well, I-- I-- I'll
see you kids later.
-It was extremely pleasant
making your acquaintance.
-Well, she sure is a girl,
all right, isn't she?
-Yeah.
I guess she's not
so bad, for a girl.
-Hmph.
Well, if you ask
me, it's utterly
disgusting the way American
men fall over themselves
every time they meet
a foreign woman.
-Come on, Seymour.
-And that striped one
over there is Herman.
-Hello Herman.
-Would you like to feed them?
-Oh yes, may I?
Here Herman.
Here Gladys.
Don't forget Clyde.
-They certainly are
fortunate, aren't they?
Being allowed to swim
right after eating.
-Be sure and say
hello to Mrs. Wilson.
-We like Mrs. Wilson so much.
-Oh Alice, I'm so glad
she's here with me.
We bought the house
from George and Martha.
The papers came
through last week.
I know we're going to love it.
[giggling]
-Certainly soudns like
they're having fun up there.
-Doesn't it, though?
-I just can't get over Dennis
inviting a dumb old girl up
to see his room.
-Well, personally,
I'm delighted, Henry.
You see, I'm very anxious
that the child and her father
enjoy their visit here
because I hope to talk him
into staying over long enough to
get a good article out of him.
-Well, anything
Dennis can do to help.
-You see how I
appreciate Dennis'
trying to make the
child feel at home.
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Mom.
-Yes dear?
-Oh, uh, I better run along.
Thanks a lot.
-Well, we'll keep
Dennis available.
-Thank you.
-Bye, John.
-Hey mom, Sen Yuen
invited me to lunch,
and we're gonna use chop sticks.
Is it OK?
-I think that's a lovely.
Sounds like a great idea.
-Promptly at : then, Dennis.
-Yes sir.
Uh, uh-- I mean yes ma'am.
Bye, Sen Yuen.
-Bye.
-Well, I'm all ready.
-Oh, doesn't our boy look
handsome in his new suit?
And so grown up.
-Are your nails clean?
-Of course they are.
-Remember what I told you now.
Eat everything, whether
you like it or not.
-Even squash?
-I doubt that you'll be asked
to eat squash with chop sticks.
Now that you're fashionably
late, get going.
-OK, see you later.
-Dennis.
What's that bulge in
your right hand pocket?
-Oh, a fork.
Just in case I need it.
-Just think, dear, our son's
having his first lunch date.
-Which reminds me.
How about my lunch?
-Oh, all right.
Are your nails clean?
[doorbell]
-Hello Mrs. Mitchell.
-Oh, hello Margaret.
-I dropped by to invite
Dennis to have lunch with me.
-Oh dear.
I'm terribly sorry, but
I'm afraid he already
accepted an invitation.
With little Sen Yuen next
door at the Wilson's.
-Oh, I see.
-I imagine it'd be
all right if you
want to go over and join them.
-Oh, no thank you.
As that old saying goes, three's
a crowd, in any language.
-Boy, this stuff
sure tastes swell.
Did you make it?
-Shh.
Don't tell anybody, but we
went to a Chinese American--
how do you say it-- take out
restaurant, and we took out.
-Boy, he sure got
himself all dolled up.
I wonder if he had
to take a bath.
-Boy, these chop sticks sure
make food last a long time,
don't they?
-Aren't they sweet
together, John?
-Sweet together?
Eloise, do you realise that
that food Dennis is spilling all
over our carpet cost me $ . ?
-Yes, dear.
Plus tax.
-And now for dessert,
we've got fortune cookies.
-Fortune cookies?
-Don't you like fortune cookies?
-Oh, sure.
They're all right if you like
to read while you're eating.
But I'd take a good old
banana split any day.
-Banana split?
-You mean you've never
had a banana split?
-Is that bad?
-Bad?
That's awful.
Let's see.
, , .
You wait here, Sen Yuen.
Mr. Wilson!
-He's gone out to
the patio, dear.
-Thanks, Mrs. Wilson.
Mr. Wilson!
Hey, Mr. Wilson, guess what?
-What, Dennis?
-That poor little
foreign kid in there
has never had a banana split.
-No!
-So don't you think
we Americans should
get her one while s here?
-We Americans, huh?
That's good thinking, Dennis.
Go to it.
-The only thing is this
American only has $ . .
-Ah, I should have known.
If you think I'm going to shell
out for two banana splits--
-Two banana splits?
-What about us?
-Where did you boys come from?
-It's OK, Mr. Wilson.
If you can't afford 'em--
-I can afford them, it's just
that I have a lot of work to--
-Hey, kids, did you hear that?
Good old Mr. Wilson!
[cheering]
-We'll meet you
out front, Dennis.
-Come on!
-Fellas, fellas, wait a minute!
Eloise!
-Thanks anyway, dear,
but banana splits
simply don't agree with me.
-Oh, for heaven's sake.
-How do you like it, Sen Yuen?
-Utterly tantalizing, Dennis.
I think it's even better
than the first one.
-Didn't I tell ya?
How's yours, Mr. Wilson?
-Gooey, fattening,
and expensive.
-Hey Dennis, look
who's coming in.
-Good afternoon.
-Dennis.
DOn't you think you ought to ask
Margaret i like a banana split?
-OK.
Hey Margaret, would you
like a banana split?
-No thank you, Dennis.
-Ah, what'll it be, young lady?
-One small glass
of water, please.
-A small glass of water?
-That is correct.
-With everything on it?
-One small glass
of water, please.
-One small glass of
water, coming up.
-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.
Now what are we gonna
do witht that banana
split Margaret's
not gonna eat it?
-I'll take it!
-I wanted it first!
-I'll take it!
-I'll take it!
-Hold it.
Hold it, boys!
No one is going to have
another banana split.
-Oh my goodness, no.
What's a Super
Dooper Doozie like?
-You mean you've never had a
Super Duper Doozie, Sen Yuen?
-Those are good!
-I like them!
-Very good!
-Boys.
Can't believe it.
-Uh, how many?
-Oh, I'd say five.
-Another small glass of water.
[knocking]
-Come in.
-You have a visitor, Sen Yuen.
-Hi, Sen Yuen.
I brought you some flowers.
I'm sorry you don't feel good.
-Oh, Dennis, they're beautiful.
-I picked them from
Mr. Wilson's garden.
-What's time?
What did Dennis say?
Did he mean my asters?
-Now, now, dear, just relax.
-How can I relax when I'm dying?
-Oh, you're not dying.
You just made a pig of yourself
eating too much ice cream.
-I have a splitting headache.
Not from eating
too much ice cream.
I have a headache from paying a
bill of $ . for eight banana
splits and five
Super Dooper Doozies.
-And I hope you get
well soon, Sen Yuen.
-Oh, I'm much
better now, Dennis.
And this has been the
nicest day of my whole life.
-Has it really?
-Oh, yes.
I had more fun
getting sick today
than I ever had being well.
-Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.
Since you're sick, I brought
Sam over to keep you company.
He's my pet frog.
-Oh, Dennis.
Hello, Sam.
-Jeepers.
You're the first girl I've ever
seen who'd even touch a frog.
-Oh, I like Sam.
[croak]
-He likes you, too.
But remember, I'm only loaning
him to you until tomorrow.
-I'll remember.
-Bye bye, Sen Yuen.
-Bye, Dennis.
[doorbell]
-Why, good morning, Dennis.
-Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
How's Sen Yuen
feeling this morning?
-Well, you just come in
and ask her yourself.
Sen Yuen?
-Good morning, Dennis.
-Hi, Sen Yuen.
How are you feeling
this morning?
-Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
Are those for me?
-Yes.
I thought you'd still be sick.
-Thank you, Dennis.
I'll put them in water.
-And whose garden are
those from, may I ask?
-They're from our backyard.
-Oh.
Oh, well they're for you.
-They smell so good.
-Dennis?
-Yes, Sen Yuen?
-You're the nicest
boy I ever met.
-Jeepers.
-Now, why did she go do
a messy thing like that?
-Oh, there's nothing
personal in it.
Just, girls of marriage-able
age always act like that.
-Huh?
-Well, didn't you know?
Chinese children
marry extremely young.
-Oh, you're kidding.
-On the contrary.
The parents of
Chinese children often
get together and sign
marriage contracts.
-Marriage contracts?
-Sometimes when
their offspring are
even younger than
you and Sen Yuen.
-Holy mackerel.
That's an awful thing
to do to a little kid.
-Now John, you stop
scaring the child.
-I wish someone had scared me
a little when I was his age.
-There.
Aren't they lovely?
When my father returns this
afte I want you to meet him.
-Your father?
Oh.
Yeah.
Sure, anytime.
Well, I've got go see
another sick friend.
Good bye.
-Aren't boys funny?
I wonder what made him
suddely run off like that.
-I wonder.
-Oh, is your baseball game over?
-Nah, we lost our ball.
I gotta go get another one.
-Well, I'm glad you're back.
Sen Yuen's bringing her
father over in a few minutes
and I want you to meet him.
-She's bringing him over here?
-That's right.
Now you just run upstairs
and get cleaned up.
They can't stay long.
They're leaving
town this evening.
-They are?
-Just as soon as he
gets a contract signed.
-A contract signed?
But jeepers, dad.
-Just do what you're told.
You can jeepers me later.
-But dad--
-Dennis, I want you here.
-Yes sir.
-Dennis!
Dennis, do you hear me?
-I look forward to meeting
your son, Mrs. Mitchell.
-I'm sure he's looking forward
to meeting you also, Mr. Yuen.
-That's odd.
He seems to have
completely disappeared.
-Well, wherever he went, I'm
sure he'll be back in a moment.
-Maybe he's out playing
that funny game, baseball.
-Henry.
Excuse me just a moment.
-I don't understand it, honey.
I distinctly told him
they'd be right over.
-Uh, John, would you
excuse us a minute, please?
-I have a feeling a
high level conference
is about to take place.
-Well, I certainly
don't know what to do.
-Folks, I think my friend
here has some light
to throw on Dennis'
disappearing act.
-Me?
-Yes, you.
-Didn't you tell
Dennis this morning
it's a Chinese
custom for parents
to get together and marry
their offspring off when
they're still young.
-Oh, Eloise.
I was only joking.
-I don't think Dennis
took it that way.
-Come to think of
it, he did seem
upset when I told him
Mr. Yuen was coming over.
-Oh dear.
Well, you don't suppose he's
hiding until this blows over?
-Honey, you tell Mr.
Yuen I'll be right back.
-Yes dear.
See if you can find him.
-I'll talk to Mr. Yuen
while you're away.
There are still some
things that I want to--
-John!
Now, you caused all this.
You just go help
Henry find Dennis.
-Wait for me, Henry.
-Nope, he's not at my
house, Mr. Mitchell.
-Then where is he?
-Look, Mr. Wilson,
you don't really
expect you to help you hook a
fellow cub scout into marriage,
do you?
Thanks for the candy!
-Whatever you're selling,
we don't want any.
Just a minute.
-Seymour, is Dennis
hiding in here?
-No, and he's not at
Margaret's house either.
-Ow!
-Dennis Mitchell, the least you
can do is play house with me.
You can be the father.
-Listen, Margaret,
that's exactly
what I'm running away from!
[doorbell]
-Sh.
It's my dad and Mr. Wilson.
-I'll handle this, Dennis.
Hello Mr. Mitchell.
Mr. Wilson.
-Hello Margaret.
Dennis doesn't happen
to be here, does he?
-Mr. Mitchell, why
would Dennis be here?
-Well, he's not at
Tommy's and he's not
at Seymour's, and Seymour said--
-Was there a message for him?
-Yes, uh, if he's here, I-- I
mean if you happen to see him,
would you tell him
we think he has
the wrong idea about something,
that he's disappointing us,
and that's what he's
doing is not very nice?
It's, uh, something
that a man wouldn't do.
Maybe a little
boy, but not a man.
Well, goodbye Margaret.
Come on, John.
-Bye Mr. Mitchell.
Mr. Wilson.
-Gosh, maybe I have been
acting like a little kid.
-What are you gonna do, Dennis?
-Gee, I guess my
parents really do
want me to go through with this.
-I'm sorry.
I tried to help you.
-Hey, I just thought
of something.
-Can a person be engaged to
two people at the same time?
-Of course not, silly.
-Are you sure?
-Could I get you some
more tea, Mr. Yuen?
-No, thank you.
-Did you find him?
-He'll be along soon, I hope.
- , apologies.
However, I'm afraid my
daughter and I must leave.
-Oh father.
Do we have to go
before Dennis comes?
I so wanted you to meet him.
-We're sorry, Mr. Yuen,
but I'm sure Dennis
will be back any minute.
-It is my disappointment,
Mrs. Mitchell.
I'm afraid we'll be late.
However, perhaps another time?
-Hello.
-Well, it's about
time, young man.
-Mr. Yuen, may I present
our tardy son, Dennis?
-How do you do, young man?
-How do you do, Mr. Yuen?
I'm very happy to meet you.
-Hello, Dennis.
-Sen Yuen, before
this goes any further,
there's something
you've got to know.
Sen Yuen, I can't marry
you, because I am already
engaged to Margaret here.
-You're what?
-Dennis Mitchell.
What makes you think
I'd marry you anyway?
-You mean to say you didn't
bring your father oveer here
to sign a marriage contract?
-Certainly not.
[speaking foreign language]
-That means, I've
heard everything.
-Hey Margaret,
did you hear that?
I don't have to marry
Sen Yuen after all.
-Boys.
I don't know who's cookier,
American boys or Chinese boys.
-Eloise, under the
title East meets West,
I think this would make a
very nice story for a magazine
article.
-Sure Mr. Wilson.
And all we charge is
two Super Duper Doozies
a piece for the whole article.
-It's a deal, then.
-One minute Mr. Wilson.
Now that Dennis and
I have officially
announced our
engagement, I don't
know if I want that
kind of publicity.
-Announced our engagement?
Now wait a minute, Margaret.
-It's not use, Dennis.
I have a room full of witnesses.
-And I'm getting out of here.
-Dennis Mitchell,
you come back here.
-My father.
-Yes, Sen Yuen?
-I think it's a very
nice American custom,
getting married young like that.
[theme music]
04x01 - The Chinese Girl
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Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.