03x16 - Alien Invasion

[bunniefuu]

All right, everyone knows

That josh can be annoying.

It's no secret that drake can

Cause me extreme aggravation.

But you want to know who

Constantly drives me insane?

But you know who really gets

My blood pressure up into the

Danger zone?

She's .

She's a girl.

She's evil.

She's a demon!

She's my little sister.

Both: megan.

Last month, she put kitty

Litter in my sneakers.

Did you know she signed me up

For the mexican army?

And let's not forget the time

She dyed all my underwear pink.

She gave my cell phone number

To hobos.

I do not look good in pink

Panties.

Now, every other time my

Phone rings, it's a hobo.

One day--oh oh! One day,

Baby!

One day she's gonna push me

Too far.

Revenge. Revenge!

[Cell phone rings]

Hello?

Can I come over to your

House?

No! Leave me alone, hobo!

No! Leave me alone, hobo! It's just not right.

It's just not right.

Times the square root...

Minus x.

Minus x. [Turns on stereo]

[Turns on stereo]

Hey.

Hey!

Oh, hey. Want some sandwich?

No! I'm trying to do my

Homework. Could you turn that

Off?

Off? [Turns stereo off]

[Turns stereo off]

♪ Oh, cranky josh,

He's gettin' so cranky,

So very cranky,

Oh, now he's breaking things,

Writin' to the pencil

Repair man... ♪

Dude! Would you stop with the

Improvisational blues tune?

Shouldn't you be doing this

Homework, too?

My homework's already taken

Care of.

[Plays blues riff]

"Please excuse drake from

Doing his homework. He twisted

His liver and is unable to read,

Write, or bathe. Yours truly,

The doctor."

Wrote it myself.

Shouldn't the doctor have a

Name?

Ah, yes. Here, give me that.

Uh, let's see...bob, the doctor.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Now it's

Perfect.

Cool.

[Plays guitar]

Hey, drake, have you seen my

Laptop?

Yeah, I think megan's using

It in the backyard.

What? How many times do I

Have to tell her not to touch my

Items? I am gonna fix her wagon!

She doesn't have a wagon.

It's a figure of speech.

♪ Well, ol' cranky josh

Is fixin' megan's wagon,

Is fixin' megan's wagon, but not literally ♪

But not literally ♪

But not literally ♪ [plays chord]

[Plays chord]

♪ Well, I never thought

That it'd be so simple, but

I found a way,

I found a way,

If you open up your mind,

It's gonna take some time

To realize,

But if you look inside

I'm sure you'll find,

Over your shoulder,

You know that I told you

I'll always be picking you up

When you're down,

So just turn around,

So just turn around, ooh-ooh-ooh, oooooooh ♪

Ooh-ooh-ooh, oooooooh ♪

What are you doing?

Studying astronomy.

Ah, the study of stars and

Planets.

Yes. It's exciting to know

Things. Now give me my laptop

Back.

No, I need it!

For what?

Mom just bought me this

Really cool telescope that you

Can hook up to a computer. Here,

Check this out. I just type in

The name of any planet or

Constellation I want to see,

And then the computer tells the

Telescope where to point. Look.

And you can see the image right

On the screen. How cool is that?

Why can't you use your

Laptop?

'Cause I'm not bringing my

Laptop outside. It could get wet

Or something.

Yeah, she's got a point.

She's got no point.

Calm down. So she's using

Your laptop. What's the big

Deal?

Thank you.

Hey! Hey! What's that under

Your telescope?

What?

Is that my new leather

Jacket?

Maybe.

Megan!

Well, I'm not putting my

Brand-new telescope on the

Grass.

She's got a point.

She's got no point. I want my

Jacket back.

Yeah, and I want my laptop.

Ok, fine.

Ok, fine. Just one sec.

Just one sec.

What are you doing?

Aah!

[Dog barks]

What's going on?

What happened?

Well, I was just out here

Trying to learn about space,

And drake and josh pushed me

And drake and josh pushed me down.

Down.

What?

We didn't push her down.

Oh, right. I just decided

To lie down in the grass and

Scream.

Yes! That's exactly--

Boys! Stop taunting your

Little sister and go upstairs.

Dad, we didn't--

Dad, we didn't-- go upstairs!

Go upstairs!

Can you believe her? She

Aggravates me in so many ways.

Aggravates me in so many ways. Ho ho, I am whipped up, man!

Ho ho, I am whipped up, man!

We have got to do something

About her.

About her. Like what?

Like what?

Ok, I've got it.

We freeze her. Then we thaw her

Out like years in the

Future. Oh, man, she will be

So freaked out.

Ok, let me write that down.

Freeze her.

You didn't really write that

Down.

No!

Well, fine. You got something

Better?

Yeah. Ok, megan's really into

Her telescope, right?

Yeah.

What if she saw something

In her telescope that totally

Freaked her out?

Oh, dad's butt?

Freakier.

Wow.

Wow. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, sweetie.

Hey, sweetie.

Listen, take a break and go help

Your dad with the dishes.

But what if he talks to me?

Hey, I put up with it. You

Hey, I put up with it. You can, too.

Can, too.

Whaa!

All right, give me the dvd.

Here.

[Groans]

You put my copy of alien

att*ck down your pants?

So?

It's so warm.

Just hurry.

Now, when the dvd loads, I'll

Take a still frame of the space

Shuttle using photodoc. Then

With the cropping tool--please

Don't breath in my ear.

Don't breath in my ear. Sorry.

Sorry.

You know, some people hate

Doing the dishes, but I think

It's kind of fun. Don't you

Think it's kind of fun?

Think it's kind of fun? Yes. This is kind of fun.

Yes. This is kind of fun.

So what's your favorite part,

The scrubbing, the drying,

Or the stacking?

Well, they're all just so

Much fun, it's hard to pick.

I know. Hey, aren't we having

Too much fun together?

[Forced laugh]

[Forced laugh] oh, walter.

Oh, walter.

You sure this is going to

Work?

Yeah, see? I just cut around

The image of the spaceship from

The movie, then I drag the

Picture of the spaceship into

The window of megan's telescope

Image, and bam, we got aliens.

Walter: wait! You wanna help me

Vacuum?

Megan: no, thanks, walter.

Megan's coming. Come on,

Hide! Hurry! Come on! Come on!

Hide! Hurry! Come on! Come on! Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go!

Oh, here! Come on, the cans.

Good idea.

What are you doing? There's a

Can right there.

I don't want to get in there

Alone.

Alone. Oh, just get in the cans.

Oh, just get in the cans.

Oh, just get in the cans. Ow!

Ow!

Ok, now let's see what's

Ok, now let's see what's going on up in the sky.

Going on up in the sky.

Ok, let's see what...

No way! A spaceship?

It is a spaceship.

Mom! Dad! I see a spaceship!

I see a spaceship! Mom! Dad!

It's a spaceship!

Did you hear that? She

Totally bought it.

I see a spaceship!

I see a spaceship.

Oh, man, we finally got

Megan.

Dad, I swear.

I saw an alien ship.

Yeah, sure you did.

Oh. Dad's coming.

Back inside.

Spaceship.

I bought her a telescope,

I bought her a telescope, she sees spaceships.

She sees spaceships.

She sees spaceships. Spaceships.

Spaceships.

[Static whining]

So what you doing there?

Well, if I tell you

Something, you promise to keep

It a secret?

Sure.

Absolutely.

Ok, last night I saw--

I saw a u.f.o.

No way.

Really?

I swear.

It was an alien spaceship.

No doubt about it.

Well, that is incredible.

Astonishing.

So what's up with the crazy

Radio?

I'm trying to see if I

Can pick up any alien

Transmissions. If they're close

Enough that I can see 'em, I

Should be able to hear 'em, too.

Should be able to hear 'em, too. Ok. You be careful now.

Ok. You be careful now.

Oh, man, this is awesome.

Priceless. She totally

Believes she saw real

Spaceships.

Oh, yeah.

This so beats any prank she

Ever pulled on us. Man, just

Look at her sitting there trying

To pick up alien transmissions.

Hey, what do you say we help

Her out?

Help her out how?

Craig and eric are in the ham

Radio club at school.

Radio club at school. Aren't they jewish?

Aren't they jewish?

Ham radios. We can borrow a

Transmitter and have some fun.

Oh, we could. And we should.

Come on.

Ok. Hey, why would they name

A radio after ham?

I don't know.

I like ham.

I like ham. Who doesn't?

Who doesn't?

Come on, aliens.

Come on, aliens. Where are you?

Where are you?

Hey.

Hey. She out there?

Yep. She keeps looking up

At the sky, wondering where the

Aliens are.

Perfect. All right, come

Here. Now, this is the ham

Radio.

Ham radio.

Now, we just talk into this

Mike and sound like aliens.

Oh, cool. Give me it.

Bonjour. Si'l vous plait.

Bonjour. Si'l vous plait. Oui, oui, merci.

Oui, oui, merci.

We're supposed to sound like

We're from outer space,

Not paris!

You know, there's a way

You know, there's a way to correct people nicely.

To correct people nicely.

Ziff.

Ziff. Ziff.

Ziff.

Come on. Do it with me.

[Speaking gibberish]

Oh, my god.

Guig.

He said "guig."

[Speaking gibberish]

Wow.

Wow. Wow. Oh, wow.

Wow. Oh, wow.

Aliens! I heard aliens!

Aliens! I heard aliens!

Aliens! Aliens!

Aliens! I just heard aliens!

I heard aliens! Aliens on my

Radio! I heard aliens! Aliens!

Radio! I heard aliens! Aliens! Aliens!

Aliens!

How's it coming?

Don't pressure me.

I'll get pimples.

Hi.

Hey. What time does megan get

Home from oboe practice?

A few minutes. Why?

'Cause I had craig hook up

All the electrical stuff in the

Kitchen to a remote control.

For what?

Well, you see, she was

Watching a show last night about

Aliens that said if they ever

Got close to earth, their

Spacecrafts would mess up all

Kinds of electrical fields.

Ok. I'm done.

Here's the remote.

Awesome.

Well, you should probably be

Getting on home, huh?

You know, sometimes I feel

You just use me.

Oh, come on, craig, you're my

Friend.

I'm eric.

[Door shuts]

Megan just got dropped off.

Awesome.

Well, you know the way out.

Ok, when megan comes in, follow

My lead.

Hello!

I don't know, josh. Maybe we

Should call an electrician.

Call an electrician for what?

Oh. Well, it's weird, but all

Oh. Well, it's weird, but all day long...

Day long...

Whoa! What is up with the

Blender?

I don't know. Oh. There goes

The garbage disposal.

Well, that is downright odd.

Yeah. What's with all these

Electrical problems?

It's the aliens.

What?

No.

Yes. Their spacecrafts make

Electrical stuff act all crazy.

Megs, there's no such thing

As aliens.

There are, too. I saw them.

And I heard them. And now

They're coming. The aliens are

Coming! Aliens!

Coming! Aliens! Aliens!

Aliens!

Do you guys have to go play

Cards tonight? I don't wanna

Stay home by myself.

What about drake and josh?

Sorry.

Yeah, we're going to a

Concert.

Mom.

Oh, baby, you'll be fine.

You stayed by yourself lots of

Times before.

Yeah, and you baby-sit that

Little boy across the street.

Yes. He's not an alien who's

Going to eat my face.

Megan, there's no such thing

As aliens.

And if there were, they

Wouldn't just eat your face.

They'd eat all of you.

Well, why would they stop at the

Face?

Can we just go?

You're gonna be fine. We'll

See you later, ok? Have a good

Time, guys.

Be careful.

All right.

Well, we're going to that

Concert.

Later, megs.

Fine.

Leave me by myself. But when the

Aliens have me as an hors

D'oeuvre, you'll feel really

D'oeuvre, you'll feel really bad.

Bad.

Wow. Megan's really scared

And upset.

Yeah, I know.

High five.

Come on.

Come on. Let's go.

Let's go.

Come on.

Come on. I'm coming. Ahhh!

I'm coming. Ahhh!

Ok, I'm in. Denise, come on.

Hurry.

Don't rush me. I'm coming.

You sure this lady can make

Us look like real aliens, right?

Oh, yeah, totally. She did

All the special effects makeup

On ghost monsters.

Where did you find her?

She's mindy's rd cousin.

Well, she better be good

For what we're paying her.

You're not paying me enough

To be climbing up the side of

Your house and in through your

Window. Ah, I think a spider

Crawled in my bra. Oh! Oh!

Ooh!

Don't touch--don't touch my

Don't touch--don't touch my person!

Person!

Are you ok?

Yes. It's the climbing made

Me sweaty. Oh! I need a bubble

Bath.

Look, just turn us into

Aliens and you can take a bath

Later.

Ok, pushy. Let me see your

Faces.

Oh! Your skin is flawless.

Leave it to mindy to find

Herself a fine boyfriend like

Herself a fine boyfriend like you.

You.

Actually, I'm mindy's

Boyfriend.

Boyfriend. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Yeah. You need work.

Yeah. You need work.

[Whirring]

Hello.

Hello!

Who's out there?

Hello.

Ahh-ahh-gru-man.

Who said that?

[Both speaking gibberish]

Leave me alone.

You better not eat my face.

Aggghhh!

Stay away.

[Both speaking gibberish]

Aah! What are you doing?

...

...

.

What are you gonna do?

Dance.

Dance. ♪ La la la la la la

♪ La la la la la la

♪ La la la la la la gotcha!

Gotcha!

What?

Drake. Josh.

That's right, little girl.

Finally, after all these years,

We got you good.

Yeah, how does it feel to be

On the other end of the prank,

Huh?

Ha-ha!

Ok. That was the meanest

Thing ever.

Good. Maybe it'll teach you a

Little lesson.

Yeah, I bet next time you'll

Think twice before you try--

[Distorted voices]

What is that?

I don't know.

All right, come on. Joke's

Over. Just stop it.

It isn't us.

I'm serious. This isn't funny

Anymore.

Drake, what's going on?

I don't know.

[Distorted voices]

[Swooshing]

What was that?

Grrrr!

Grrrr!

Grrrr! Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

[Megan screaming]

, , .

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aahh!

≪< aahhh!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Nice job, danny.

Sure thing, megan.

Those boobs won't stop

Running till they hit mexico.

Yeah. Hey, can you make me

Some coffee?

Some coffee? Sure.

Sure.

Coffee's ready.

Awesome.

How do you take it?

Black's fine.

Cool.

Mom: hi.

Dad: we're home.

Megan?

In the kitchen.

Hey, sweetie.

You're making coffee?

Not for me.

It's for a friend.

It's for a friend. What friend?

What friend?

What's up?

Aah!

Aah! Ahhhhh!

Ahhhhh!

♪ Well, my brother josh

He's doing his homework

The kind of work

That you do at home

Which is why they call it

Homework ♪

Can you please cut that out?

♪ Working at home

Shall we go downstairs and

Tell her this whole alien thing

Was a big joke?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,

No, no, no, no. All right? This

Whole alien thing has just

Begun.

Both: ha ha ha ha!

I don't get it.