05x03 - The Paradox of Intermediate Transactions

[bunniefuu]

Antecedently on Fargo...

[ROY] What happened?

[MUNCH] You send a man to do a job

without all the information...

... how can the job be done?

You say how woman is

a woman, a...

housewife.

Never do you mention

she is, for real...

a tiger.

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS]

[GATOR] You're saying you
couldn't handle some girl?

Hundred pounds soaking wet? Huh?

This half-wit sh*t up a
filling station outside Beulah.

m*rder*d the clerk.

- [HORN SOUNDS]
- [CLERK SCREAMS]

k*lled a state trooper.

[GRUNTS]

Put a hole in the leg of another.

[GRUNTS]

And this ret*rd's partner
with a cracked skull

and his face half
b*rned off in the morgue.

[WHIMPERING]

[GRUNTS]

You say housewife, so I bring one guy.

You say tiger...

that's a different guy.

It cost you three times.

Did they take her? The police?

[MUNCH] Fled on foot.

Possibly home.

Possibly to the wind.

- Will you find her?
- It's a question of price.

And the job, it was
not the job you said.

- Pain... and suffering.
- [GRUNTING]

And it forces a man to ask...

why you want the tiger.

She's my wife.

She made vows to me.

Consider it a debt unpaid,
leaving me in limbo.

See, she hid from me nine, ten years.

Interest accrued

until the debt could no
longer be paid with money.

Then, one day, there she is.

Fingerprints in the system.

Now the limbo can end

and debt can be collected.

Well, thanks for your help.

Go on with Gator, he'll get you paid.

Original, plus pain and suffering.

[ROY] Yeah, of course.

Take it out of the rainy day fund.

- Fixing place.
- Fixing place.

[GATOR] Hundreds okay?

Surprise, shitbird.

- [SHOUTS]
- [GRUNTS]

[SCREAMING]

[SHOUTING]

["ALL SHOOK UP" BY
TENNESSEE ERNIE FORD PLAYING]

♪ Some ♪

♪ People say a man is made out of mud ♪

♪ A poor man's made
out of muscle and blood ♪

♪ Muscle and blood and skin and bones ♪

♪ A mind that's a weak
and a back that's strong ♪

♪ You load tons, what do you get? ♪

♪ Another day older and deeper in debt ♪

♪ St. Peter, don't you
call me 'cause I can't go ♪

♪ I owe my soul to the company store. ♪

[GATOR] Called you directly.

I didn't want this
going out on the wire.

Didn't know what to do with him
so I just put him in the back.

[EXHALES]

Then where were you?

I was draining the snake.

Two minutes in and out.

Did you get a look at the tape?

[SIGHS] State cops took the whole system

last night on account
of the other thing.

[SCOFFS]

Can you believe this guy?

Coming back to the scene of the crime?

Like that?

Talk about big balls.

Yeah, well, I bet yours
shriveled up a little bit

on account of him getting
the jump on you. Again.

Son of a bitch!

[YELLS]

All right, are you done?

[SIGHS]

Tell me again where you
found this Munch guy.

Is that really his name, Ole Munch?

He says it,

"Ooh-lah," and I-I, I didn't
find him, I found his partner.

What, the guy with
his head in the toilet?

Yeah.

All right, well, first order of
business, we need information.

Find out who this guy is.

Priors, known accomplices,
known hangouts.

Then we smoke him loose.

If he comes for us again?

Oh, believe me, he's coming.

Sleep with your hammer
cocked is my opinion,

if you sleep at all.

Jesus.

All right, the truck goes in a ditch.

Alvie behind the wheel.

Tell Bruno to report the
cause of death as accidental.

Then you

go to his fiancée's and break the news.

- What are you gonna do?
- Don't worry about what I'm gonna do, all right?

- Okay.
- Now you're oh for two here, kid.

How do I teach you how to be a winner,

you keep losing all the time?

I swear to God, him
versus me, man-to-man,

I'd wipe the floor with him.

Yeah. Right. Like High Noon?

Hmm?

That only happens in the movies, son.

Real life, they'll slit your throat

while you're waiting
for the light to change.

[CAR DOOR OPENS]

- [CAR DOOR CLOSES]
- [ENGINE STARTS]

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- ♪ 'Tis the gift to be simple ♪

♪ 'Tis the gift to be free ♪

♪ 'Tis the gift to come
down where we ought to be ♪

♪ And when we find ourselves
in the place just right ♪

♪ 'Twill be in the valley ♪

♪ Of love and delight ♪

♪ When true simplicity is gained ♪

♪ To bow and to bend ♪

♪ We shan't be ashamed ♪

♪ To turn, turn ♪

♪ Will be our delight ♪

♪ Till by turning ♪

♪ Turning we come round right... ♪

[KAREN] Hey, babe.

Daddy's here.

[ROY GROANS]

Odin.

[ODIN] Sheriff.

I saw your boys outside.

You know, we could, uh...

we could have them in.

Fix them a plate.

[ODIN] Nah, they're outdoor animals.

Mountain lions in training.

Don't want them getting soft.

Well, I'm gonna have
a drink. You want one?

Got my special sipping whiskey.

Can't be too careful.

[ROY] Twins still up?

They're in the bath.

Sit down.

I want to see my man.

Ah, I just want to say good night first.

I'll be right back.

Need to talk about munitions, boy.

Gonna need another delivery soon.

Yeah, I'm wrangling things.

Uh, got to space it out, though, yeah?

Requisitioned weapons going missing.

Feds are already on my ass.

Things are in the works, kid.

.

And we're not gonna
take this country back

with harsh language, feel me?

Uh-huh.

♪ 'Tis a gift to be joyful ♪

♪ 'Tis a gift to be free ♪

♪ 'Tis a gift, 'tis a gift ♪

♪ 'Tis a joyous gift to be ♪

♪ And when you find
yourself in the pure delight ♪

♪ The gift to be simple
has led you aright ♪

♪ When true simplicity is gained ♪

♪ To bow and to bend,
we shan't be ashamed ♪

♪ To turn, turn will be our delight ♪

♪ Till by turning, turning,
we come round right... ♪

[SONG FADES]

[CHILDREN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

♪ ♪

[FAINT PLAYFUL CHATTER]

Alone at last.

What do you want tonight, Daddy?

You want helpless hitchhiker?

[FAINT PLAYFUL CHATTER]

How about angry feminist?

[FAINT PLAYFUL CHATTER]

Okay.

How about...

[FAINT PLAYFUL CHATTER]

How about that mean ole governor?

Hmm?

Oh, sorry.

♪ ♪

[PLAYFUL CHATTER]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

I see you.

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

["BOGEY WAIL" BY JACK HYLTON PLAYING]

[WAYNE] I called the alarm guy.

Got an appointment for Monday.

Hon?

Oh. I told Cheryl to mark me

incommunicado for this afternoon,

so we can go to the, uh, g*n World.

I changed my mind.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

You're gonna be a zombie for Halloween,

and Scotty and I are gonna
be zombie hunters now.

Hmm.

But I...

I thought she said, uh, witch bears.

Which whether that is, uh, bears

that practice witchcraft or witches

that become bears, I
don't know, but... [LAUGHS]

No. Zombie hunters.

Scotty signed off on it.

Hmm.

Ooh, maybe we can find something

for the costumes at g*n World.

Bulletproof vests and the like.

I'm gonna write that down.

["HE'LL HAVE TO GO"
BY JIM REEVES PLAYING]

[CHILD] I got so much candy.

♪ Put your sweet lips a
little closer to the phone ♪

- [CHILD ] Trick or treat.
- [CHILD ] Trick or treat.

- [CHILD ] Mmm, thank you.
- [CHILD ] Thank you.

♪ Let's pretend that we're together ♪

♪ All alone ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I'll tell the man
to turn the jukebox ♪

- ♪ Way down low ♪
- [CHILD SCREAMS]

♪ And you can tell ♪

♪ Your friend there with you ♪

♪ He'll have to go ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Whisper to me ♪

♪ Tell me do you love me true? ♪

♪ Or is he holding you ♪

♪ The way I do? ♪

♪ Do-do-do ♪

- ♪ Though love is blind ♪
- [CLATTERING]

- ♪ Make up your mind ♪
- [FOOTFALLS PASS OVERHEAD]

[DISTORTED] ♪ I've got to know. ♪

[FLOORBOARDS CREAKING]

[CREAKING RHYTHMICALLY]

[DOOR CREAKING OPEN]

[CREAKING STOPS]

I live here... now.

♪ ♪

[PRIEST] Woe unto man,

for he has sinned in
the eyes of the Lord.

And for this wickedness,

he must pay.

[CROWD GASPING, MURMURING]

In forgiveness of your debts to man,

will you consume his
Lordship's sins to God?

I will.

You may begin.

[EXHALES]

[GASPING, CLAMORING]

[BRYN GRUNTS]

[UNCLE] More.

Say it.

[BRYN MOANING]

[UNCLE] Say it.

I give easement and rest
now to thee, dear man.

And for?

For thy peace...

... I pawn my own soul.

[SPEAKING LATIN]

[GURGLING]

[MOANING]

It is done and cannot be undone.

[TENNIS BALL BOUNCING]

I live here now.

[OPENS CAN]

♪ ♪

Arr! Welcome to g*n World.

How can I help ye?

I like your eye patch.

[STAMMERS]

Actually, that's a,
that's a hunting accident.

Oh, geez. Oh, I stepped
right into that one.

Oh, no, no. I-I-I can see
where the confusion would...

We're looking for a
home defense solution.

Arr, then you came to the right place.

- Hmm.
- Tell me,

what would you say is the most critical

in the family conversation,
ease of use or stopping power?

- Stopping power. Definitely.
- Uh, ease of u... Oh.

Yeah.

Can I see the Benelli M Tactical?

Benelli, yeah.

Your missus knows her stuff.

- Ah.
- Oh.

That's a... How-how much is, uh... ?

Oh, $ , ?

[PIRATE] It's hard to
put a price on life.

Not-not for you, apparently, so...

Oh.

Is it -gauge? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, you could go or .

- Uh-huh.
- How about the Heckler ?

Gas-operated, short-stroke piston.

sh**t rounds per minute.

Well, rounds per...

- And a handgun.
- And? You want to get both these?

Maybe the Desert Eagle.

Oh.

[WOMAN] [OVER P.A.]
Trick or treat, g*n World families.

It's the best holiday of the year.

Uh...

Get % off all gunstocks.

No g*n is off the market.

[DOT] Plus amm*nit*on.

Yeah, sure.

This is $ , worth of...

Well, like I said, yeah,
peace of mind is priceless.

Yeah, hon.

- Yeah.
- Is that gonna be cash or credit?

[WAYNE] Uh...

No credit. I'll write you a check.

[PIRATE] That's music to me ears.

- Yeah.
- [DOT] So, you got cases for these or...

[PIRATE] Yeah, I'll have
them all boxed up for you

and ready to go next week
when you pick up the armaments.

- What do you mean?
- [PIRATE] Well, of course,

there's the mandatory waiting period

while we run the check.

Make sure you're not psychopaths

or, you know, socialists.

That last one's a joke.

- No.
- Oh. Yeah.

We need...

Our home is not safe right now.

Yeah, listen, I hear you.

It's this darn federal mandate.

They're taking aim at
it at the state house,

but until they can
sh**t it dead, well...

It's only one week.

Yeah.

Let's take a look at
that pepper spray, then.

The what, now?

[WIND WHISTLING]

[HEAVY METAL PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

[HEAVY METAL PLAYING]

assh*le.

I'm a winner.

I'm a winner.

I'm a winner.

I am a winner.

I'm a f*cking winner.

[EXHALES]

I'm a winner.

I'm a winner. I'm a winner!

Hey, Pete.

[PETE] What part of bed
rest don't you understand?

- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- All of it, apparently.

I feel just sick about Iron Mike.

Yeah, he was a fine man, is what he was.

Say, uh, I'm looking for
anything you took off the D.O.A.

- Donny Ireland.
- Yeah, it's, uh...

You're just in time.

Uh, that other fella's
taking stock right now.

Who, now?

[SIGHS]

Well, look who it is.

[WITT SIGHS]

Did you just take something?

You know, I was on crutches once.

Cornerback tackled me funny senior year.

It's the armpits, right? Super painful.

Just now, I, uh...

I saw you put something in your pocket.

Uh, looked a bit like you, actually.

Fella who blindsided me.

Black boy, fat through the middle.

What'd you take?

[CLICKS TONGUE] Now...

son, I've been humoring you
on account of they gave you

the general anesthesia not too long ago,

and that sh*t will make the
Pope see spaceships, but...

you accuse me of stealing one more time,

and I'm gonna do to you what I
did to that boy in high school.

And believe me,

you never want to see a tire iron

moving that fast in your direction.

Last chance.

Tell me what you took.

You don't know?

I took your mama out for dinner.

She gave out that ass like
a coupon on coupon day.

[GRUNTS]

♪ ♪

[BOX THUDS SOFTLY]

- [PETE] You okay, Witt?
- Yeah, yeah. I, um...

Say, did that fella leave his card?

Yeah.

[GRUNTS]

[LAPTOP CHIMES]

[WITT] There you are.

[DIALING]

- [LINE RINGING]
- [DANISH] Before we dig in,

I want to make clear this
is an informal gathering

with information traveling
uphill from you to us,

not an interview-type situation
where we feel interrogated.

- Well, I do have...
- That's fine.

Deputy.

[SIGHS] Well, as you
know, we have evidence

of a break-in at your
son's house in Scandia.

To wit, blood residue and DNA traces

from hair samples found in the master.

Yeah, my daughter-in-law
says that never happened.

Plus there is a state
trooper in North Dakota

who looks like is going to ID
Mrs. Lyon as present in the car

of two men who opened fire
on his prowler the same night,

with whom he then retreated
to a nearby filling station,

where they were held under siege

until reinforcements could arrive.

Can't we just make this
whole thing go away?

I mean, really.

Whatever did or didn't happen,

I-I'm sure we can
handle this internally.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Mrs. Lyon, a state trooper is dead.

In North Dakota.

Remind me which state we're in again.

That's, uh...

We have real evidence that
two extremely violent men

kidnapped your daughter-in-law
for reasons unknown.

- You're not worried they might come back?
- Which?

The dead one or the one whose blood

is all over my son's floor?

Seriously, I can protect my family,

whatever mischief they
may or may not get into.

And if the state trooper
IDs your daughter-in-law

as present for the melee after?

If North Dakota wants to
question either Mrs. Lyon,

Wayne or Dot, they'll
need to go through me.

So we're through.

Yeah. Yep.

What is your function?

Excuse me?

The police. I mean, why do we need you?

Except as a tool to keep
a certain element in line.

To separate those who have

money, class, intellect

from those who don't.

You're gatekeepers,
standing outside the walls,

keeping the rabble from getting in.

But in here, inside these walls,

you have no function.

You should remember that.

[INDIRA CLEARS THROAT]

So, what do you want to do?

Bring in the security
detail we used last year.

Burl Huffmen's unit
from out in Las Vegas?

Put a team at Wayne's,
and up the security here

- and at my house.
- And what about Dorothy?

You said she showed you

the other side of the coin yesterday.

She's a wolf in sheep's
clothing, that one.

We keep her close for now.

You said your man is looking for dirt?

Yeah, former CIA.

Whatever she's hiding, he'll find it.

[INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION]

[DISPATCHER] Car ten,
car ten, what's your ?

[OFFICER RESPONDS INDISTINCTLY]

[DISPATCHER] Copy that.

We got a on Elk Street near Main.

Whenever you're done, if you
could head over and take a look.

[OFFICER] Uh, roger
that. ETA minutes.

[DISPATCHER] All Stark County deputies,

we're hearing there's
chickens on the road out on

and a truck in a ditch.

[CLEM] This is Clem, car six. On my way.

[ROY] Sheriff to deputy.

[GATOR] Yeah, sh**t.

[ROY] Got to talk to you.

Meet me at Hammurabi Pawnshop.

[GATOR] Roger, Wilco.

[INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION]

[ROY] What are we doing about Nadine?

[GATOR] I told you she
goes by, uh, Dorothy now.

[ROY] Yeah. We'll leave her
alone until after the election.

- But...
- Is what I was thinking.

And with the feds sniffing around.

But then last night I had a dream.

What's today?

Uh, I don't know.

- The st?
- Halloween.

All Hallows' Eve,

in which the world of the gods
is made visible to humanity

and the dead come back to life.

That's what Nadine is, can't you see?

She was dead, now she's back.

- So...
- So we get her tonight.

Everyone's in costume,
the streets are busy.

It's : already.

- Do you want me to...
- Only guys we can trust.

Ding-dong, trick-or-treat,
we send two around the back,

breach from both sides, tie
'em up, put their masks on.

Their, uh...

- Their Halloween masks.
- Yeah.

Victor and villain,
incognito, then boom.

You're out the door, you're in the van.

No one's the wiser.

Only guys we can trust. Say it.

Only guys we can trust.

You got this.

I believe in you.

["SMACK MY BITCH UP"
BY THE PRODIGY PLAYING]

♪ ♪

[CLICKING]

Husband and the kid won't be a problem.

It's the missus you
got to watch out for.

♪ ♪

[GROANS]

♪ Change my pitch
up, smack my bitch up ♪

[EXHALES]

♪ Change my pitch
up, smack my bitch up ♪

[BRYN] For thy peace,
I pawn my own soul.

[GROANS]

[GASPS]

Ah.

♪ ♪

[WOMAN VOCALIZING]

Going out, Mama.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Smack my bitch up. ♪
- [PHONE RINGING]

[ROY SIGHS DEEPLY OVER PHONE]

[ROY] ♪ Nadine ♪

♪ Honey, is that you? ♪

♪ Oh, Nadine ♪

♪ Honey, is that you? ♪

♪ Seems like every
time I see you, darling ♪

♪ You got something else to do. ♪

[MUNCH BREATHING SHARPLY]

[MUNCH SPEAKING LATIN]

[BELLS CLANKING]

- [GOATS BLEATING]
- [MUNCH CONTINUES IN LATIN]

[GROUP SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[EXHALES]

[SPEAKING LATIN]

Left or right?

[GATOR] Not sure.

The phone's saying one thing,
sign's saying something else.

Turn right, circle back. We'll find 'em.

f*ck.

♪ ♪

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

[MUNCH SPEAKING LATIN]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

[MUNCH SPEAKING LATIN]

[GRUNTS]

[SHARP BREATHS]

[SPEAKING LATIN]

[GROWLING]

[SHOUTING]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

♪ ♪

- [CHILD] Trick or treat.
- [CHILD ] Trick or treat.

Mom? You coming?

[DOT] Yeah, right behind you, squirt.

[ENGINE APPROACHING]

[SCOTTY] Mom?

I'm coming.

[FOOTFALLS CRUNCHING]

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CREAKS]

[Kn*fe SHARPENING]

♪ ♪

[MAN] Now I get it.

[ROOSTER CROWS]

[ROARS]