01x05 - Who is Kim K?

[bunniefuu]

KIM: Previously on The Kardashians...

How are you and Ye?

He walked out on SNL, mid-monologue.

- So I haven't talked to him since.
- No way.

You guys, it's happening.

KHLOÉ: They're on their way
so we all have to be quiet.

ALL: Congrats!

Do you have, like, sympathy for Scott?

- Yeah.
- Because it doesn't feel like you do.

I just don't want to be
pushed out of family affairs.

And you won't, and none of us
want to lose that either.

KIM: This month has been insane. SNL.

Kourtney and Travis got engaged.

I'm dealing with some stuff with Kanye,
but today is my birthday.

I am 41 today,
and the only thing on my mind

is taking the baby bar,
and it's coming up any minute.

This is my last chance
to take this test,

and if I don't pass, then my whole
law school journey is over.

Last year, I took the bar
right after my birthday,

but like,
I went on a full birthday trip.

I made that a priority this year.

I really don't give a sh*t.

A birthday party
is not important to me.

Like, I cannot be worried
about a party.

I don't want to see people.

I just need to study.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Kim did not want a birthday party
this year because of the bar.

but of course, in our family,
we like to celebrate.

- Hey.
- Let's go. Hurry, out the door.

I'm her mom.

Of course we're gonna do something.

Okay, hurry.

You're ruining the surprise.

- I love you, but you're ruining...
- Do you want to go here?

ALL: Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

ALL: [SINGING]

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Kim

Happy birthday to you

I honestly couldn't be more happy,
like, it really warmed my soul,

that my whole family's here
and all my best friends are here.

Hey!

You could've told me
to put on some makeup.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

KIM: And my favorite Armenian
food Carousel is here.

I've been going to Carousel with my dad
since I was a little girl.

You know you've made it
when Madonna texts you.

WOMAN: Stop it!

"Hey, birthday girl,
love and good wishes.

"Not sure where you are, but I hope
you're doing something fun today.

"Love you. M."

I'm so happy that Kim
is able to take a break from studying,

and now she gets to be surrounded
by all of her besties.

And it's so healthy for her.
It's the best.

Do you remember?
Khloé and Kim drove Kim's car out.

KHLOÉ: We had a college party...

- We called it "Khlo-motion."
- "Khlo-motion."

Oh, my God.

KHLOÉ: There was this guy there
that I had a crush on.

He was like the hottest,
like a plastic Ken Barbie doll.

He definitely does not have
big [BLEEP] energy. Like, this is...

[WOMAN 1 SPEAKING]

- But now...
- Yeah, and his name is "Big balls..."

KHLOÉ: You can have big balls,
but not a big...

[WOMAN 2 SPEAKING]

- Never heard of big ball energy.
- I don't want BBE.

What's the difference between
BDE and BBE?

WOMAN 1: Does anybody know?
WOMAN 2: What?

What's this supposed to be?

Big [BLEEP] energy and big ball energy.

WOMAN 2: I've never heard that.
WOMAN 1: Ew. I don't like that one.

I'm scared.

I don't want BBE.
I'll take BDE all day long.

What the [BLEEP] are the balls
gonna do for me?

[ALL LAUGHING]

Yeah. Of your tiny penis?

You need these big balls?

That's mortifying.

Ugh!

So big [BLEEP] energy is like,

you're cocky and confident
'cause you have a big...

Who doesn't like confidence, you know?

But then later in life,
they all lose their hair,

they don't look the same
and have a pot belly.

Guys, I love you all,

but I'm kicking you out
because I have to study.

I've got one sh*t to do this test,

one last sh*t, and if I'm partying,
then I'm going to mess it up.

So I just need to focus.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

Hello?

- KOURTNEY: Hey, Mom.
- Hey, Kourt.

- You look cute.
- Thank you.

So...

[PHONE RINGING]

- I'm very comfortable.
- That your phone?

I cannot get that.

[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]

Oh, my gosh. Can you believe that
you're engaged? Where's the ring?

It's... I'm covering it

because it's actually getting fixed.

Why? What happened?

This is probably one of the worst things
I've ever done in my whole life,

by the way.

I was sitting on my floor,
folding sweatshirts.

- Yeah?
- And I took the ring off

and I put it next to me on the floor,
thinking it would be safe,

- right next to me...
- Get to the punch line.

So then I had to get something
up above in my closet,

and when I stepped down,
I stepped on the ring.

You broke your engagement ring?

I was, like, hysterically crying
in my closet for like...

- Oh, no.
- ...hours.

And then I called Travis.

I was like, "I did something
really, really bad."

And he handled it the best.

- Oh, boy.
- But it really gave me

- a nervous breakdown.
- You'll give me a breakdown.

And I was just like,
this is the most beautiful thing

that I've ever had in my life

- and how could I have done that?
- It's so pretty.

Travis picked it out.

He designed it.

He looked at so many stones,
and this was like me in a stone.

And so I thought that
that was really special.

Did I tell you the story
of how he came over?

Do you want to know the real reason
why he moved to Calabasas?

Oh, my gosh.

He said, "Because I knew
she lived in Calabasas,

"I knew she was the love of my life,
and I didn't know her like that.

"But I just knew

"if I couldn't date her or be with her

"because she was with someone else,
that at least I could live by her."

I've never met
a better human in my life,

like, the thoughtfulness
and just everything.

It was just like,
such an amazing moment.

Aw.

So now that you're engaged,
do you think it might be time

for you to have, like,
a real sit down with Scott?

- And just sort of...
- I don't know that I need to.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- I don't know.
- Maybe...

Have you talked to him at all,

since the engagement?

Yeah. We talk about
the kids all the time.

Oh. But he didn't say congratulations?

No. He said,
"This is not the easiest for me

"and I just...

"At the end of the day,
I want you to be happy

"and, you know,
congrats on the engagement."

- That's nice.
- Mmm-hmm.

I don't really think that me
getting engaged is about Scott.

Like, undeniably, my life
is going in a different direction.

I feel like I am living a fairy tale,

making like, new memories
and new moments,

and I don't necessarily
want Scott at all of them.

We all want the best for you.
We love that you're this happy.

- And we love Travis.
- Yeah.

But for Scott,
it just wasn't meant to be, you know.

But he, "woe is me".

- He didn't do all this stuff.
- Of course. No, I know.

But I'm just telling you

- from somebody else's perspective.
- Yeah.

All that really matters,
at the end of the day,

is the love that you show for the kids,
and they feel like

there's not one parent
pitted against the other.

Yeah.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

Cheers.

Cheers to you.

Today is the day that I'm taking
the bar, and it is do or die.

I'm going to say a prayer.

Okay.

Dear, Heavenly Father,

we just ask that you put
your angels around Kim today.

Let her have confidence and guidance,

and every single thing she's learned,

please bring that
to the front of her mind today

so that she answers each
and every question so easily.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

- Amen.
- You got this.

I think it started off as me
just feeling like I wanted to know more,

and me wanting to be able to help more.

But then it kind of was
proving something to me personally.

And no one's ever really respected,

you know,
a reality star with a sex tape.

And I've always had to
like, break through this stigma,

and like, I want to prove this
to myself, that I can do it.

And ultimately, a huge like
[BLEEP] you to everybody too,

that thought that I can't grow

or move beyond where I was.

I know all of this.

What really trips me out

is that I didn't know
any of this last time.

So you're probably so prepared.

All right. I love you. I'm gonna take my
whatever this is to go.

- Okay.
- All right.

Good luck.

- I love you.
- Thank you.

- I love you.
- You're going to be amazing.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

KIM: I feel good. I feel prepared.

And... I'm just gonna be
really positive. I feel good.

I have no other option.
This is game [BLEEP] seven.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

How was the bar?

I just don't know anymore.

Like, I'll be [BLEEP] humiliated
if I don't pass at this point.

- And then, you can't take it again?
- No.

So if you didn't pass,
it's just, that's it.

When I talk to Travis, he's like,
"You should have been an attorney."

And I'm like, "I was going to."

I had no idea you were
gonna go to law school.

Crazy that I've just
learned that about you.

Yeah. But also...

Also, I think about all these things
that I went through,

and then I feel like
you go through them after me.

Totally. It's like identical.

- What are you trying to say?
- No, not even about,

- like certain situations.
- I copy your style in guys now?

No. But I'm just saying, like,
you know...

- Why?
- I don't know.

Why? What is "single Kim"?

Who knows?

But like, how's everything
going with Kanye?

He did an interview last night
saying that...

I watched some clips.

...SNL got me to say
that I divorced him.

When I divorced him, you have to know
it came down to just one thing,

his personality.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

I came prepared with my monologue
and that really, like, upset him.

And I showed him the monologue,
but he says he never read it.

He just didn't read the text.

And, you know,
Kanye had a hard time with what I said.

SNL making my wife say
"I divorced him" on TV

'cause they just wanted
to get that bar off.

And I ain't seen the papers.
We not even divorced.

- Because he didn't like the...
- 'Cause it's not, I know.

Yeah. And so he's like,
"I haven't signed the divorce papers."

Well, what's he waiting for?

I don't know. I ask him all the time.

He says he will, you know...

He's like,
"I don't want a divorce,

"so I'm not gonna sign them."

I'm always super protective of Kanye,

and not sharing a lot of
the negative things that have happened

just because,
he's not here doing the show.

Also, if I do something
on a reality show,

then it's like,
"How dare she talk about it."

And then, he can do a song,
but that's so creative and expressive.

You know,
it's always like two different sides

are being expressed two different ways.

And one is respected, and one's not.

- I'm very sure now.
- Yeah.

I knew it had to be done when I filed,
because I just knew

it wasn't the right situation for me.

And now I feel super good.

But I think you're like, "Who am I now?"

- I'm like...
- Yeah, you're right.

I got to a point where I was just like,

I would ask him for advice
for everything, down to what I wear.

Even now, I'm having,
like, panic att*cks, like,

"Dude, what do I wear?"

You know, when I finally,
like in New York, I will say,

he styled me all for SNL,

then for the
Wall Street Journal magazine.

I won the Innovator Award for Skims.

Then I was like,
"How do I wear something

"that hasn't been pre-vetted first?"

- It was, like, psychologically...
- Yeah. Does it make you nervous?

- So nervous.
- You're like, "Is this a bad outfit?"

And then he called me afterwards.

He told me my career is over,

then he showed me a picture of
Marge Simpson wearing something similar.

These are Dior? These are so cute.

I didn't even know they were Dior.

They are.

I am in Miami with my friend, Hailey.

- Hello!
- Hello!

- Hey.
- Hey.

KENDALL: We are on our way
to see some friends,

and we're just going
to get some nice IV bags.

It's just what we consider
a really fun day.

- Hey.
- Welcome.

I've been a hypochondriac my whole life
since I can remember.

I've been a hypochondriac.

And so, I am obsessed
with health right now.

It's like my number one priority,

I'd say, to the point where,
I'm like eating myself alive,

thinking about my health. [CHUCKLES]

I did have Covid.

I wasn't like, really that sick.
I'd say I got pretty lucky.

Is this yours?

I did, though, have a really...

I'd say my recovery
was harder than my Covid,

which was really weird to me.

I don't know what's wrong with me,

and I talked to a doctor the other day
and they said that post-Covid

sometimes you can have, like,
heightened cortisol, I guess.

And like, probably, my cortisol levels
haven't evened out yet.

- Yeah.
- It's definitely very strange.

I'm what, two months out now
and I still don't feel good.

I just feel [BLEEP] weird.

Can we put extra C in your IV,
just because of the Covid?

Yeah. Okay.

[GROANS]

Things like this, they comfort me.

They help
because it just makes me happy.

And I don't want anyone to judge me.

Do you think that doing NAD

multiple days in a row is fine?

It wouldn't be harmful,

but at a certain point,
you kind of saturate your receptors.

I feel like we're just really big
on our health journey, for sure.

So it makes for a great friendship.

I'm gonna NAD for the rest of my life,
and I'm never going to age.

[ALL LAUGHING]

KENDALL: This is what it's become.

- MAN: This is where we're at.
- Here we are.

MAN: It's a little crazy.

[RAP SONG PLAYING]

- KRIS: Hey, doll. Hi.
- Hi.

How are you doing?

I missed you.

- You get two for the price of one.
- What's going on?

- That's all I've ever taken.
- I know. We love a discount.

- That's a nice little coat.
- Your hair looks good. Thank you.

We haven't been here since
Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Do you even know
what the show is called?

Kardashians, I think.

We were gonna call it "The Disicks."

But then you felt like,

you don't invite me to half the sh*t
you do anymore,

- so why call it The Disicks?
- [SMACKS LIPS]

I invited you to lunch for my birthday.

This is our birthday lunch?

Yeah. Did you bring a gift?

This is not your birthday lunch.

Yeah, it is.

You're lying.

We're gonna go to a diner
for your birthday?

- KRIS: Exactly.
- Okay.

This is not a proper place you would go
to celebrate one's birthday.

Especially not your glamorous ass.

[CHUCKLES]

What's going on? Any birthday party?

Um... Not really a birthday party.

No grandkids, a few of my kids
are coming over.

They haven't seen the house at all.

- Yeah.
- Is that a party?

Well, like, dinner.
We're gonna have dinner.

- When?
- On Friday.

Nobody told me.

Didn't...

Well, I don't know.

I feel like I'm cheating on Kourtney.

- Why?
- If I tell you...

'Cause I would love for you
to come over.

Why would I not come over?

You told me I was your blood-related son
when my parents d*ed.

I still feel the same way.

You obviously don't.

KRIS: I love my children unconditionally,

and I fall in love with their partners
through the years.

I mean, the first day we ever sh*t
our show as a family, Scott was there.

So I think when stuff like this happens,
it hurts all of us.

If you want to come hang out,
come hang out.

And it isn't something where I really
have invited anybody to a party.

- There's...
- You're obviously doing something.

- You're embarrassed to keep it from me.
- I'm not doing anything.

- It went from seeing your house...
- There's not a balloon.

- ...to having dinner.
- Well...

And your dinners are like catered,
Mindy Weiss is probably there.

There's probably...
Is there valet parking?

No. No.

I don't know how Kris is trying
to push this past me as not a party.

I mean, first, it starts as,
"It's a house tour."

Is there a chef?

- Kind of.
- What kind of food?

- Nobu.
- Yeah. It's ridiculous.

So the caterer's Nobu with a chef.

Then it turns into a catered meal

by one of the fanciest
restaurants in the world.

Yeah.

Oh, all of a sudden,
it was a "Walkthrough of my house."

- That's basically what it is.
- It's wrong.

And a meal.

This sounds like the [BLEEP] Oscars.

And you're trying to take me to lunch
at Maria's for a chopped salad?

What am I, chopped liver?

- If you and Travis are cool, then...
- We're fine.

For me to hear
that you are having a little soiree,

and you don't think to invite me,
makes me feel like complete sh*t.

To be honest. And I love you.

- But...
- I love you, too.

How would you think I would feel?

KRIS: Kourtney met her soulmate.

That's got to be hard
for Scott to absorb,

but I never expected him to be so angry

and wound up over this.

He just needs to grow up
and be a little more mature.

Now it's like tainted.

- I'd rather just take you out to dinner.
- It's not tainted.

To be honest.

I don't want to go to someplace
I'm not wanted.

- You're always wanted.
- I'm not!

Could you imagine if I singled you out?

Like, it's just mean.

I don't. I'm not...

I don't have a mean bone in my body.

You do.

Wow, that's shady.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

Do we like this for...

Because I have Paris' wedding,

then I have Simon and Phil's
rehearsal dinner.

And then I have their wedding,
so I'm contemplating...

wearing like...

He said it's a gay wedding,
like, there's no rules.

[MEN LAUGHING]

KIM: I think that fashion
has always been something

that I've always been really into,

but I've never been like that creator.

How would I do my hair?

I think you should have
your hair down for sure.

I definitely see what I like.

But I've never really been
the visionary.

Kanye would come in and say,
"Do your hair like this.

"Do your makeup like this."

That's his love language, clothes.

And so I always just trusted in him.

But It's not just about clothes.

That was like the last thing
we had really in common.

You guys, do these shoes match?

I'm trying to figure out like,
"Who am I in the fashion world,

"or who am I by myself?"

I was always like,
the "Kardashians" with my sisters.

And then I was "Kimye."

Like, who is Kim K?

That is the jump.
How do I get there without Kanye?

When I filed for divorce,

it's been like 10 months now,
and I am finally just like,

stepping out, being like,
"I can do this."

I feel like this would look cooler...

Like, these vibes
with your bunsie bracelets.

KIM: What a nice bag.

[MAN LAUGHS]

- SCOTT: You decent?
- Yes.

- Hey.
- 'Cause if you weren't,

I would have still came in.

I'm just trying to pick out
some clothes, you know.

Scott always makes me laugh

and always just,
I think, will give me confidence.

I just want him here.
I need some kind of moral support.

Hi, Chris.

KIM: It's like a wedding scene.

So I'm giving a speech
for Simon's wedding.

- For their rehearsal?
- Yeah.

So do you want me to
give my speech to you guys?

Dude, after SNL you could do anything.

I know, but I feel like after SNL,

- the pressure is mounting.
- Yeah.

So I think I'll say something
along the lines of like,

"I love a gay wedding." Like...

SCOTT: Okay.

- Go right for it.
- [LAUGHS]

And just be like, "I haven't been in one
since my second wedding."

- SCOTT: Oh! Pow!
- [LAUGHING]

- Funny or not funny?
- It's amazing!

- I'm in my happy phase.
- I get it and I love it.

But, this is a big deal for me
because this is like my first event

where I'm not using
my stylist and the whole team,

- the whole thing...
- So this is all gonna be you?

But look at
how well you've done with Skims.

You know what you're doing.

You know how to dress.

I know. But this is my one insecurity.

I'm excited. I feel like you're going
to go back to more, like, of you.

But I don't know what that is.

- I'll tell you right now.
- What?

[KIM LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS] Not a chance.

It's so crazy to me
that Kim would ever, ever think,

or be insecure about her looks,

because she's maybe
the most famous person in the world

for being the most beautiful person
in the world.

So, kind of cool to know that everybody
has their own insecurity sometimes.

But at the end of the day,
nobody really does it better than her.

You know what, Kim?
You're a changed woman.

- And I respect it.
- All right.

This is it, guys. This is the look.

That's a serious look.

People are going to like you.

They are gonna like you
for who you are, not what you wear.

I'm just kidding.

Obviously.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

WOMAN: Beautiful, Kris.

KRIS: This is such a big week for me.

We're sh**ting promos today
for our new show.

I'm finally moving into my new house,
and it's my birthday.

- Hi.
- KOURTNEY: Hi.

What's going on?

I was so sick last night.

- I was like...
- No.

I thought I was gonna die.

And then today, I was like...
I'm gonna...

- Well...
- Mason had a cold.

Oh, great. Well, okay.

I'll stay away from you
for the rest of the day,

I'll say this real fast,
I'm not going to be

in the same room with you
for more than 10 minutes.

I had lunch with Scott because
he's feeling really left out lately,

and it's making me feel really bad.

Mmm-hmm.

I want nothing more
than to see my daughter happy.

But I also love Scott very much,

and we want Travis
to feel really comfortable,

and to feel welcome.

So...

[SCOFFS]

It's always some drama, isn't it?

I just wondered how you felt about him
coming to my birthday dinner tonight.

Whatever you want for your birthday,

I want it to be like the way
that you envision your birthday.

I feel like I'm cheating on Scott
or I'm cheating on Travis.

Like, I don't want
to make Travis feel a way,

and I don't want Scott to be sad.

I know Travis is like,
a really authentic person

and just wants to feel like
he can be affectionate with me.

I just want to protect our energy.

I think that's the only thing.

I think, whatever you want
for your birthday...

We want you to have the best birthday.

Well, I'm going to take
that answer while I've got it...

- Okay.
- ...and skedaddle.

- And I hope you feel better.
- So do I.

Open some windows
and circulate some air

because it's like... This feels like a
hot air balloon that's about to explode.

Okay.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

It's my birthday. Mine.

It's my day.

And I just gave myself the ultimate
birthday present, which is a new house.

And I can't wait to see everybody
tonight and have a wonderful time.

- KIM: Oh, my God!
- Hi.

MTV Cribs.

- KIM: So nice!
- No. Wait till you go inside.

Thank you so much.

- Happy birthday.
- Thank you. Look at this.

- So pretty.
- Hi.

- Hi, Mom.
- What do you think, guys?

- So good.
- We love it.

- Hey. Mr. Romance.
- Yes.

Hi. How are you?

That was... Oh, my God.
That was so beautiful.

Thank you so much.

My mom's house is incredible.

I know it's everything she's dreamed of.

KRIS: It's a real Tiffany lamp.

- Cute.
- That I got myself for my birthday.

- Did you show Ellen already?
- Yeah.

KRIS: So this is the theater.

KOURTNEY: So good.

This with this screen saver, too,
is like breathtaking.

[KRIS CHUCKLES]

This is my piano room bar.

Gonna I have the chocolate covered...

And they have litchi martinis.

BARKER: Love your gym.

I love that it's really infused
with her personality.

KRIS: Look at this.

[GASPS] Perfect.

[CHUCKLES]

FAYE: Oh, my God.

- KRIS: Isn't it great?
- Kris.

I know, it's my dream.

[KRIS LAUGHS]

FAYE: I have goose bumps everywhere.

[KRIS CHUCKLES]

This is out of this world.

What a birthday!

I know. Happy birthday.

The table, the ruffles,
the little martini table.

Living in Kris Jenner World
is just fabulousness.

Like, being surrounded by
like, opulence,

and a dirty martini in a crystal glass
covered in diamonds,

and always made up in these gowns,

and candlelight and dinner china,

and fabulous sh*t everywhere.

- It's like sensory overload.
- You gotta go see the refrigerator.

Oh, I saw it.

I'm so happy for you,

and I'm so proud of you about flying

and how you're just, like,
you're good again.

Like, you've just...
That's a huge thing that you overcame.

Yeah, I told her she transformed me.

I'm like, I have never even
considered it before.

KRIS: There's Scott.

Yo, brother.

- Hi!
- Hello.

Welcome!

SCOTT: It's nice and homey.

[KRIS CHUCKLES]

SCOTT: I want
to give you a present.

[GASPS] What?

I'd like you to open it
in front of me,

because it's very you.

- Hey, guys.
- Hi.

- KHLOÉ: Mazel.
- Mazel tov.

KOURTNEY: To be in the
same room together

is not a bad thing.

It's a great first step for everyone,

and it will take time

to really figure out,
like, what makes sense.

Congratulations, brother.

- Thank you. Thank you.
- Congrats.

Thank you. I've seen you.

- I haven't seen you both together.
- Thank you.

It's so awkward
for the other siblings involved.

We don't know what to do.

We're all just trying to be respectful

to each other's new lives.

It's like we're always just ignoring
this elephant in the room.

It's bizarre, I don't know why
we're all tiptoeing around something

that's not even our [BLEEP] relationship
to tiptoe around.

I'm exhausted just trying
to explain this to everyone,

and I'm [BLEEP] sweating.

I Facetimed you.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I get it.

[CHUCKLES]

- Leave me alone.
- That's a big smile.

[LAUGHS]

- Surely the sweetest...
- I've heard that.

- ...nicest...
- All that is fine. The sweet men...

...human being on the planet.

SCOTT: But aren't you just
having a good time?

- I'll tell you guys later.
- Okay.

That was awkward.

We're gonna sit down
and get started with some appetizers.

My favorite thing in the world
is to be with my family.

As time goes by,

I realized I really want to spend
more time with my kids whenever I can.

We're all so busy, so crazy,
and the days go by so fast.

So this to me is heaven.

[ALL LAUGH]

- KRIS: Look at them.
- Doing what?

Wait, look. Look at them.

- Look. No, look.
- ELLEN: It's unbelievable.

This is like real life, you guys.

[BARKER SPEAKING]

[WHISPERS] Scott's right there.

KHLOÉ: It's okay.
Everything's okay.

KRIS: This couldn't be more awkward.

[WHISPERING]

KRIS: Yeah.

KOURTNEY: I know we were holding back.

That I do know.

We weren't, like,
just fully going for it.

I didn't know that anyone
was looking at us.

- Okay.
- Yup.

- Scott.
- SCOTT: Yes.

- Sit right here.
- Next to Khlo?

Sure.

Do you not like that?

You know, I do. I do love that.

She found someone.
I'm happy for her.

She's got a man that loves her
and she deserves it,

because there were so many years
that I didn't put her first.

This just makes me happy.

You're all my favorite people.

You're one of my favorite 12 people.

[GLASS CLINKING]

- Okay, here is...
- SCOTT: We got a toast coming on.

- What?
- KIM: It's amazing.

SCOTT: Yeah, Khloé.

I'm normally not allowed
to give speeches,

but, everyone, I just wanted to say

happy birthday to my beautiful mom.

You literally are the reason
why we are all here.

You are the reason for everything,
you are the queen of all queens.

And we're all so grateful
to have you in our lives.

- SCOTT: Ain't that the truth.
- We love you.

We're all so happy that...
Like, this is your home!

I know!

This is your home.

We are so happy that
we are all together.

We love you and hope
you have the best birthday.

- Thank you.
- ALL: Happy birthday.

- Cheers!
- Happy birthday.

[SINGING] Happy birthday

Happy birthday

Yeah!

KRIS: Thank you, guys. I love you.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

KENDALL: Clouds are rolling in.

I love these little trips that we do.

I'm just sad I'm missing
my mom's birthday,

but I'll be back to give her a nice
birthday hug in a couple of days.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi, honey, how are you doing?
- I'm good.

I was just calling to see
how your birthday was.

Oh, my God, we had so much fun.

What was the vibes? Was everyone there?

Scott came.

Shut up.

Yeah. Scott came.

- How was that?
- Scott and Travis together.

Well, it was going to have to happen
at some point, anyways.

Do you know what I mean? And it's good
to just, like, break the ice, I guess.

Exactly.

That's exactly how I felt.

And Scott was okay and stuff?

He was great.

Okay, good.

I love Scott. I mean,
I've known him since I was a baby,

since I was a kid,
since they first started dating.

Since before our show started,
I've known Scott.

So Scott is is my brother.

Like, we're basically blood
at this point.

And so, it would be very weird
if he wasn't part of our family,

I don't think
there's ever going to be a day

where he's not a part
of our family, in some capacity.

I give a lot of props to Travis, too,

because Travis treated him so nicely.

- Good.
- It was a great night.

Travis is a great guy,
so that's awesome.

He is the best. The best.

Mmm.

Well, I love you.

- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.

How are you?

- You look nice.
- Thank you.

Cauliflower.

Happy truffle fries.

KHLOÉ: Thank you so much.

- Of course.
- Oh, my God.

- So...
- How is your house?

Same. The amount
of [BLEEP] that happens over there.

They put doors on my whole closet.

- On what closet?
- My closet.

My master closet. They put doors.

- No, they didn't.
- Yesterday, I go,

"What are all these doors?"
when I was walking around.

I am so excited for my house to be done.

I'm so excited to move in.

I have daydreams about
living next door to my mom.

And I get to just walk on over
and join her little cocktail hour,

and just...
My mom lives the life.

Tristan. How's your
daughter's father doing?

Tristan is great.

He's in Sacramento.

I guess someone
hit him in a game the other day,

and he, like, severed his tongue,

and had to get all these
stitches on his tongue.

Severed is an extreme word.

Yeah. It wasn't that extreme.

I say severed because
it was the most disgusting thing.

- But stitches in a tongue is aggressive.
- It's gross.

- Wow.
- He couldn't really talk.

It was pretty funny.
Now that he's okay, it's funny.

He will be in town soon,
and I'm excited to show him the house.

- It will be ready by then.
- Oh, for sure.

Right now, Tristan and I are so happy.

Of course, he's my best friend.

We have so much fun together,
and he's trying so hard,

going to therapy,
doing all of these things.

And I think that's really
what I'm most proud of.

I'm so excited
for all these new chapters

and all the new things happening.
I'm excited for the move and then...

So... Bloop.

Mama is good, girl.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

Mom?

KRIS: Coming!

What do you think?

Mom, this is so nice.

Thank you.

KENDALL: I feel bad because
I missed my mom's birthday,

I didn't get to see her
brand-new house,

which I was really excited about

because one of my
secret passions in life

is interior design and architecture.

So, she k*lled it. She really did.

I've just been working the whole time,
so it doesn't even feel like home yet.

And I don't know where everything is.

Do you want the chef
to make you a snack?

KENDALL: I'm making it myself.

Just gotta chop up some cucumber.

- It's pretty easy.
- Okay. You go, girl.

Be careful because I cut...
I nicked myself the other day.

I don't know. I'm kind of scared.

There you go.

Don't cucumbers have seeds?

They're right here.

I'm definitely not a good cutter
so don't zoom in on me.

I'm not professional whatsoever.

Hey, chef, do you want
to cut this up for her?

I'll do it, Mom.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Someone's at the door.

- Hey.
- Hi.

How's it going?

It's going. Wow, the house
looks even better during the day.

KENDALL: Hello.

SCOTT: Hello.
KRIS: Well, hello.

- Kendall's cutting cucumber.
- Nice. What are you making?

A cucumber snackerini?

Yeah, with hummus and pretzels.

You mean,
[HEAVY ACCENT] "Hummus?"

- "Hummus."
- Should we sit outside, guys?

It's so lovely out.

- KRIS: Sure. Okay, Kendall.
- Okay.

SCOTT: What are you guys up to?

- Just hanging out.
- I just saw the house

- for the first time.
- No way. Really?

- It's incredible.
- It's so nice.

You know, it's wild.

Is that a earring boot?

- Little copper boot.
- That's cute.

Let me see.

- So cute.
- My assistant has a jewelry line.

She made it for me.

KRIS: Of course she does.
SCOTT: Of course she does.

What's going on for Thanksgiving?

Did I get banned from that yet?

Um, we're doing Thanksgiving
in Palm Springs, but...

Am I invited or not?

KRIS: You're invited.

I have to figure out
where everybody's staying now.

- There's no more rooms available.
- Really?

KRIS: Sometimes Scott can play
a bit of a victim,

and I feel like that's what's
happening here right now.

I just want everybody to be happy.

But don't put me in the middle.

I wasn't here for the birthday dinner.
Weren't you guys all together?

[SCOTT SPEAKING]

- Yeah.
- Why didn't you invite me

to your birthday?

I didn't really invite
anyone to my birthday.

It was empty. She didn't even come.

Kourt didn't even come.
Nobody came.

- People came.
- I'm sorry.

I mean... I love you.

I've helped you, throw your
birthday parties for 10 years.

- I love you, too,
- Throw you birthday parties.

- Didn't Kourtney go with Travis?
- No.

- Nobody went.
- At your house?

- Oh, at the dinner at my house.
- Yeah.

- That wasn't a birthday party.
- Only Kourtney and Travis came.

That wasn't a party.

Never in a million years would Kendall
not invite me to her birthday dinner.

She didn't have a birthday dinner.

She had a birthday party at a club.

So I wasn't invited to that either then.

- I had a birthday dinner, Mom.
- Where was the birthday dinner?

You weren't there. At my house.

KRIS: That was the birthday dinner?

So why wasn't I invited to that?

We've already went over this, Scott.

I haven't talked to you about it.

It was actually all my friends
and, I did...

You just didn't want me there.

I wasn't going to invite
family members, period.

But you invited everybody but me?

'Cause Kourt was going to be there.

Kourt... It was very intimate.

But like, I don't understand
why I should be left out.

I'm not saying you should.

That is not my business

at the end of the day. Kourtney...

But if it is not your business...

Making Kourtney uncomfortable

is not part...
Like, that's not part of my business.

Like, I'm so sorry
that that makes you sad,

and I'm not ever trying
to leave you out.

But what I'm saying is, by Kourtney,
being uncomfortable...

But I would never not invite you
when I've had a girlfriend.

It's so different, Scott.

You can't, take a second
to say, "I'm having a birthday.

"I feel like
you might be uncomfortable."

I should have texted you.

But I've been the one to have
that attitude about it the entire time.

- So what does that mean?
- When the night that...

Even the night that they got engaged,

I was the one that was literally like,
"All right,

"what about Scott's feelings, though?

"What's Scott..."
Have I not?

KRIS: That's true.

She was the one who said...

And then you don't invite me
to your birthday.

Kourtney, is my sister.

Of course I want her there.

This dinner was literally 15 people.

If it's an intimate dinner
and I'm not willing to have

an uncomfortable situation happen...

- You're mad.
- All I'm saying is I'm upset.

I'm saying sorry.

- I would never not invite you.
- But, Scott, I'm saying sorry.

I never heard you say sorry.

It's not my priority.

You first started saying
"I didn't have a birthday."

Literally, I'm out.

- This is so [BLEEP] ridiculous.
- Oh, my God.

You won't let me speak, Scott.
You're talking over me.

'Cause you didn't say anything.

You said you didn't have
a [BLEEP] party, or a birthday.

No, I didn't. I literally... Scott!

You said,
"I didn't have a birthday.

- "I didn't have a party."
- That was my mom.

I said, "Yes, Mom, I did."

Scott, go, please replay
the [BLEEP] videos.

I'm so over this sh*t, Scott.
For real.

Oh!

KIM: Next on The Kardashians...

Nobody wants to deal
with anything in this family.

- About anything.
- Listen.

You immediately att*cked me
and I was like, "I don't like this."

Scott is never leaving.

Kanye's never leaving.

Looks like you're never leaving.

More like you're never leaving me.

Oh, okay.

You guys.

The results are on my phone.

Log on to the portal.

If I don't pass the bar,

then this law school journey
is over for me.

- My heart is racing so fast.
- Mine too.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]