01x01 - Stink of Fear: Chapter One

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR:Ah, the city of Prague.So beautiful. So peaceful.

So... What the heck is that?

(ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE YELLING)

We have to get the pie out of the city before it blows!

BULLWINKLE: Good point!

Bad point! Bullwinkle. Duck!

Duck? I don't see any ducks, Rock. All I see is a bridge!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(CRASHING)

(SPLASH) (PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)

Dinner is served.

Ah!

ROCKY: Bullwinkle!

(expl*si*n)

Rocky!

Ah. Could I get some more water?

NARRATOR:[span style="s"] Oh, my! Could it be?

Is our dynamic duo done for?

Probably not, consideringthis is only the first episode.

Find out more,right after this exciting

and expensive title sequence.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ When danger is nearThere's nowhere to hide

♪ It's silent but deadlyAnd comes from inside

♪ Stink of fear

♪ What's that smell?

♪ Stink of fear

♪ What's that smell to you? ♪

NARRATOR:Our storybegins days earlier

in the peaceful, picturesque town

of Frostbite Falls, Minnesota,

where two best friendsnamed Rocky and Bullwinkle

were enjoying somebest friend time.

BULLWINKLE: I'm gonna destroy you, Rocky.

In your dreams, Moose. Get ready to feel my thunder!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

"Boom" goes the thunder! Ha!

Now "boom" goes my triple-corkscrew moose smash!

Hey, no fair! Show me how you did that!

Easy. Just do this.

(CRASHING)

(LAUGHING)

You wanna go? Let's do this.

(ROCKY SCREAMING)

Antler bash!

(SCREAMING)

Flying squirrel tail-twister!

(CRASHING)

Get ready for the flying moose tail-twister.

Oh, wait, mooses can't fly.

Ha-ha. (GLASS BREAKING)

(CAT SCREECHES)

NARRATOR:Uh,are you boys done yet?

(BOTH) Not even close.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(BELL CHIMES) Was that the time-out bell?

My pie.

Behold, my little big-toothed friend.

The pie that's gonna take first place

at the Frostbite Falls pie contest.

Hokey smokes! You're sure to win, Bullwinkle.

Yes, I know. And the best part is

the winner will go on to represent

Frostbite Falls in the biggest

most famous-est cooking competition

in the whole wide world.

(BOTH) Le Grand Yum Yum!

NARRATOR:Yes, Le Grand Yum Yum.

Where chefs fromaround the globe

gather once a yearin Paris, France

to compete for the covetedtitle of Master Yum Yum.

Ever since I was a little moose,

I dreamed of winning Le Grand Yum Yum.

But alas, all my attempts failed.

(SIZZLING)

(SIZZLING)

(SIZZLING)

But not this year.

'Cause now I've got a secret w*apon.

My Grandwinkle's pie recipe.

Go ahead, Rock. Give it a whiff.

(SCREAMING)

It sure has a... kick to it.

That's the secret ingredient.

Now nothing can stop me from winning that contest.

Listen, buddy.

You know I'm your best friend, right? The bestest.

And you know I would never stand in the way of your dreams.

Course not. It's just that...

Well, your pie, it's...

What is it, Rock?

It's the worst thing I've ever smelled

in the history of the world.

(LAUGHS)

Nonsense. You're just smelling it wrong.

The judges are gonna love it.

I just don't want you to get your hopes up.

Have a little faith, my rodent-sized compadre.

Things always have a way of working out.

NARRATOR:And so,as our smiling duo

headed tothe local pie contest,

we head to this colorful map

which takes us acrossoceans and continents

to the teeny, tinyEuropean countryof Pottsylvania.

It's so tiny!

(GIGGLING)

NARRATOR:Where the country'sfearless leader named,

well, Fearless Leader,was at that very moment

about to unveil his latest plotto take over the world.

Attention evil minions,

evil scientists and evil chicken.

(GIGGLES AND CAWS)

As you know, for years

Pottsylvania has been the laughing stock of the Free World.

"Pottsylvania is weak!" "Pottsylvania is stupid!"

"What's a Pottsylvania?"

Well, the laughing stops now!

When I unleash the full power

of my doomsday device.

Power up the super evil, turbo, powerful,

extra-bad laser cannon!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(CANNON WHIRRING)

(SIREN WAILS)

(SEAGULLS SCREECHING) (SPLASH)

What the what?

(DRAMATIC TONE)

Clucksie!

I just want to take over the world. Is that too much to ask?

(SIGHS)

I just need a super-duper, evil w*apon that can bring the world to its knees.

But where could it be?

Welcome to the Frostbite Falls Annual Pie Contest!

(CROWD CHEERING)

I'm Mayor Luther J. Grundstrom

and I'm here to judge some pie, don't you know.

ALL: Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Well, if it isn't Bullwinkle J. Moose

and his pal Rocky, don't you know.

Yes. Yes, I do know.

And what's in your pie, Bullwinkle?

It's my Grandwinkle's secret recipe

which I keep hidden right here in my glove.

So no one can ever learn the secret.

I'll tell you the secret. It's two cups of...

Grandwinkle, look! A distracting sale on doilies.

Doilies.

Okay, everybody.

It's time to grub-a-dub-dub da-dub-da-dub-dub.

(CROWD CHEERING)

NARRATOR:Just then,the powerful stench

of Bullwinkle's piefilled the stage,

effectively taking outthe competition.

With Bullwinkle the onlycontestant left standing,

he was declaredthe winner by default.

What'd I tell you, Rock? We're on our way to Paris, France!

(BOTH SINGING)♪ London Bridge Is falling down... ♪

NARRATOR:[span style="s"] And so, withthe wrong country's songin their hearts,

all eyes were onour victorious furry friends.

Including Fearless Leader's,

who had stumbled uponthe Frostbite Falls Pie Witness News,

and the breaking storyabout the intensely stinky incident

that had knocked outthe entire town square.

And the moose and squirrelresponsible for it.

I made pie!

A pie that can take out an entire town?

That will be my new super w*apon of doom!

Get me Boris and Natasha.

NARRATOR:[span style="s"] Oh, no! Boris Badenovand Natasha Fatale,

the most feared and ruthlessspies in all of Pottsylvania.

Natasha. Geneticallyengineered in a test tube,

she represented the pinnacleof espionage technology.

Trained at Evil Spy Schoolin etiquette, charm,and weaponry.

Natasha graduated with top honors after the rest of her class...

failed.

(LAUGHING)

Boris was raised bya pack of timber wolves.

Living on the streets,he learned to fend for himself.

At age six,he stole his first t*nk.

At age ten, he wasthe leader of The Gangsof New Pottsylvania.

And later, he was votedEvilest Man Alive by Henchman Quarterly Magazine.

(BOTH) Reporting for... Hey!

What is he doing here? What is she doing here?

You two will be working together.

With all due respect, Fearless Leader, I work alone.

Yeah, me too.

You guys can go.

Silence! I need my two top spies on a very important mission.

This American moose and squirrel

have a secret recipe for stinky, town-destroying pie.

You two will bring me the recipe... or else!

BOTH:Da, Fearless Leader.

(BOTH GRUMBLING)

You have to push.

I'm pushing. No, push!

Yeah, yeah. I'm pushing it right now.

Push the "down" button!

Oh. Okay, bye-bye.

Once I have your recipe...

world domination will finally be mine!

Push in an echo effect.

(LAUGHING MANIACLY)

(ECHOING)

NARRATOR:As the evil laugh echoed,

we find Rocky and Bullwinkleat the airport,

catching their flightto Paris to compete in Le Grand Yum Yum.

And with them was Grandwinkle,

who was departing forher annual vacation to Norway.

What did you pack in here, Bullwinkle?

Just the essentials, of course.

(GROANING)

"Master Yum Yum Champ?"

You had a T-shirt made saying you already won?

Of course not.

I had three made.

Now, you boys be sure to call me and tell me when you've won.

BOTH: We will.

But don't call too late. Norway gets dark so early.

(GRANDWINKLE SPEAKING EERILY) Call before the darkness.

ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE: Hug time.

No. Time to get pie recipe. Follow my lead.

Why would I follow your lead?

Because Boris is head agent on this mission.

You're too dumb to be head agent.

You have no idea how dumb I can be.

Wait. Now, follow me.

NARRATOR:And so,Boris and Natasha went afterRocky and Bullwinkle,

completely unaware thatsomeone was spying on them.

Plot twist!

Agent One to Director.

Super-spies Boris and Natasha are entering the airport. (IMITATES RADIO STATIC)

DIRECTOR:Roger that. Follow them

and find out whatthey're up to. (RADIO BEEPS)

Over and out. (IMITATES RADIO STATIC)

You don't have to makethat sound with your mouth. (RADIO BEEPS)

Copy that.

(IMITATES PROLONGED RADIO STATIC)Stop!

Airport security. Is perfect disguise, right?

Seems a little obvious to me.

Obviously perfect.

Ah! Here they come.

You two. Shoes off.

But we're not wearing...

Uh-uh-uh. Is the law.

Nothing. We'll have to body scan.

Body scan?

I know my rights, and this is profiling.

And I got a great profile.

(SCANNING)

Oh, nuts. Moose is next.

Boris, is in glove!

Okay, Mr. Moose. Time for pat down.

(GIGGLING) Almost have it.

That tickles!

Hey, a penny!

(GRUNTING)

(expl*si*n)

I don't know about you, but I sure feel secure.

WOMAN OVER PA:Final boarding call for Paris.

Come on! BULLWINKLE: Oh, boy!

You won't believe this. A moose and squirrel

just took out the two most dangerous spies on the planet.

DIRECTOR:What? Somebody more dangerousthan Boris and Natasha?

Change of plans.Follow that moose and squirrel.

Roger that.

And bring me back someof those sugar bread swirls.

On it.

NARRATOR:[span style="s"] Oh, no.Another plot twist!

Secret recipes. Secret agents.

What other secrets will be revealed in this thrilling first episode?

Find out, afterthis short break.

(ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING)

(GLASS BREAKING)

NARRATOR:Oh.That was a short break.

And so, Rocky and Bullwinklesoon arrived inthe famed city of lights,

Paris! Ooh, la, la!

♪ This is our montageOur only montage

♪ The famous city of Cheese and lights

♪ We'll don our striped shirtsAnd our beret hats

♪ Together, we'll See the sights! ♪

Paris!

BULLWINKLE: Aw, man, I'm b*at.

ROCKY: Yeah, that montage was exhausting.

BULLWINKLE: We can relax at the hotel.

Just wait till you see the room I booked.

The Winner's Suite?

Check out the bed. Even the mattress is made of trophies.

(GROANING)

I'm number one!

NARRATOR:While Bullwinklepainfully laid on his bed of trophies,

Boris and Natashaput on their next super-spy disguises.

(BORIS MOANS)

(GROANING) Ooh! Ouch!

Why do we need such a painful disguise?

Because I am in charge,

and painful disguise means using my new painful spy w*apon,

the Gluenator .

(BOTH LAUGHING)

And when they're all sticky, we suck up glove with vacuum mode.

(DEVICE WHIRRING)

Then we will have recipe in mere seconds.

Housekeeping.

Oh, thank goodness you're here.

Yeah, we made a bit of a mess.

What you mean? Room look okay to me.

I'm sure we can find something to clean.

BULLWINKLE: Oh, the mess isn't in here.

(BOTH GASPING)

Is like nightmare.

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(TERRIFIED SCREAMING)

Is that... ham?

(SQUISHING)

Yep.

BORIS: You are head maid, so get started.

No, you. No, you!

Uh, you know what? I feel bad.

We made this mess. It's only fair we help you clean it up.

No! No, wait!

(BOTH GROANING)

No, no, Bullwinkle. You're doing it all wrong.

ROCKY: Let me get in on that.

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

No, no, Rock. I think it's this switch.

No, no, no! No, no, no!

(BOTH GROANING)

(BOTH COUGHING)

Oh, yeah, that's much better.

(CHICKEN LOUDLY CAWING) (ALARM BLARES)

Hokey smokes!

The Yum Yum registration starts in five minutes!

NARRATOR:And so, Rockyand Bullwinkle headed offto Le Grand Yum Yum Arena.

I can't believe I'm actually here.

Whoa. Some of the competition looks pretty stiff.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Here you are, my good man.

Merci, monsieur. All I need now is your entry fee.

Entry fee?

Oui, , euros.

Oh, sure thing, got it right...

Looks like I may have spent some of our money.

How much? All of it.

So now we have no money?

Don't worry, it might not be a problem.

Excuse me,monsieur, do you by any chance accept no money?

No.

We might have a problem.

NARRATOR:Hoping to raiseenough money to pay the entry fee,

Rocky and Bullwinkle joined the hundreds of street performers

at the famousTuileries Garden.

Step right up.Dollar a poke.Come and get it.

What a fun idea!

(KNUCKLES CRACKING)

Ah! Wait, what? I thought I would get to poke you.

What? That doesn't make any sense.

This is ridiculous! What a scam!

I'm not paying for this.

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Okay, time for Boris to be in charge again.

(CROWD CLAMORING) WOMAN: Stupid Americans.

Now here is my new evil genius plan.

As bumbling American tourists,

I will ask for poke and then swipe glove.

So evil. So genius!

So dumb! That will never work.

Oh. We'll never raise the money for the entry fee.

Don't say that.

I was so sure I was going to win.

I blew money on T-shirts and the Winner's Suite,

the victory parade. (RECORD SCRATCHING)

Victory parade? What victory para...

The point is, I should've listened to you.

Maybe we should just give up and go home.

Give up? But we can't give up.

The Bullwinkle I know wouldn't quit, not after we've come so far.

The Bullwinkle I know would never give up on his dream.

He'd stand up proudly and shout to the world

that things always have a way of working out!

(ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYING)

You know we don't have any money, right?

(MUSIC ABRUPTLY STOPS)

You know what, Rock? The Bullwinkle you know is right.

We can't give up!

We're gonna wait right here until things start working out.

BORIS: Hey.

(IN SOUTHERN COUNTRY ACCENT) We'd like one of them there pokes, you hear?

Wow, that was fast.

And here you go.

BORIS: Yee-haw!

Glove thieves! Stop!

BULLWINKLE: That man stole my hand!

NATASHA: I can't believe that worked!

(BOTH CHEERFULLY) Wee!

(THUD)

Look! They're heading inside the Louvre Museum.

BORIS: Coming through!

NATASHA: Move it!

(CROWD SCREAMING)

Wait a minute! We forgot to do gag with Mona Lisa.

Oh, yeah, we've got to do that.

What's going on?

We just realized we didn't do Mona Lisa gag.

Oh, man! We gotta do that.

BORIS: There. Perfect.

Classic gag.

Yeah. Now give me back my glove!

Boris to Fearless Leader.

We have recipe, requesting exit strategy.

Excellent! Meet meat the top of the Eiffel Tower!

How's that fordramatic ending?

(LAUGHS CUNNINGLY)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

Let's take the stairs!

(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)

(ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING)

(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)

That doesn't make it go any faster, you know.

(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)

(GROANING IN FRUSTRATION)

(HELICOPTER BEEPING)

(BOTH PANTING)

You know you can fly, right?

Oh, nuts.

But look, we b*at them to the top!

Now we can get a drop on those glove thieves, right, Bullwinkle?

Bullwinkle? Just a sec, Rock.

I want to see if we can spot our house from here.

Look, there's Fearless Leader!

We're going to make it!

The recipe is mine! Nothing will stop me now.

NATASHA: Just avoid Moose and we are home free!

What was I thinking?

Our house is in the opposite direction.

(THUD)

(LAUGHING) What?

(BOTH GROANING)

You did it, buddy. You stopped the glove thieves.

Yeah, I guess I did.

No. No! This can't be happening.

(POLICE SIRENS BLARING)

Uh-oh. The po-po. I'm out of here.

(GASPING) My glove!

Got it! Uh-oh.

(SCREAMING)

Bullwinkle!

(SCREAMING)

NARRATOR:Oh, no!Bullwinkle is falling!

Can Rocky catch him in time?

(CROWD GASPING)

(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

I'm coming, buddy!

(CAMERA SHUTTERS CONTINUE CLICKING)

(CAMERA SHUTTERS ABRUPTLY STOP) CROWD: Huh?

NARRATOR:Are you guys done falling yet?

BOTH: Not even close.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

I can't grab you! I'm not fast enough!

The ground is getting close.

And now it's getting closer.

I can't lose you. It's only the first episode!

(ROCKY SCREAMING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Gotcha.

Thanks, buddy.

(CROWD GASPING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

That is the best street performance ever!

MAN: Here comes my wallet!

Now we've got enough money to pay the entry fee.

Even better, I've got my glove back.

Is the pie recipe still inside?

Pie recipe? Oh, no. I keep that in my other glove.

Well, let's get back to Le Grand Yum Yum.

Right. I already called us a limo.

Bullwinkle. Just kidding.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(CAR HORN HONKING) Wouldn't that be funny?

NARRATOR:Things werelooking up for our heroes.

The same could not be saidfor Boris and Natasha.

Idiot! Did you hear what Moose said?

Recipe was in other glove.

So I stole wrong glove. Is that a crime?

(POLICE SIREN BLARING)

Oh, right.

So, which one of you is in charge?

He is! She is!

Welcome to Le Grand Yum Yum.

(BOTH) Yippee!

You know what, Rock? That Bullwinkle friend of yours was right.

Things do have a way of working out.

NARRATOR:And so our story ends here...

or does it?

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

Here's everything we've got on the moose and squirrel.

Good. Because whatever scheme they're cooking up...

I'm gonna put a stop to it.

NARRATOR:Oh, no!

What will happen to our dynamic duo?

Will we ever learn moreabout this mysterious agency?

Will Boris and Natashaescape and seek revenge?

Will I ever stop askingso many questions?

Find out in our next exciting episode, The Pie's the Limit,

or Our Moose is Cooked.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)