01x09 - Squirreled Domination/Bullwinkle's Space Station Vacation

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: When we last saw our heroes,

super-powered Rocky depleted his super awesome superpowers

and was captured by Fearless Leader.

With Boris and Natasha,

they stole a rocket and headed for eccentric billionaire

Rafi Tusk's space station.

Meanwhile, Bullwinkle and Cloyd were left behind on Earth with, shocking reveal,

Cloyd's alien parents.

Then they had a joyous family hug.

Also, Bullwinkle got a sundae.

Now we rejoin our exciting adventure with an...

Ice cream headache.

(SCREAMING)

NARRATOR: Luckily, Cloyd's parents had anti-ice cream headache powers.

(SHRIEKS)

That's better.

(BEEPS)

Ooh, sweet ride.

Bloop, bloop.

I'm glad you found your parents, too.

Now I have to find Rocky, and find a way to get to space.

Hmm, now how do I get to space?

Perhaps some sort of space ship.

With somebody who really knows how to fly this time.

But who do I know with a spaceship?

Oh.

NARRATOR: Oh, buckle in space fans.

Because this episode's about to blast off.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

NARRATOR: As we rejoin Bullwinkle,

he had figured out that Cloyd's parents

were actually giving him a lift to save his pal, Rocky.

I did? Oh, right, I did.

Thanks, Cloyd's parents.

(GIBBERS)

Sorry, I don't speak Spanish.

(DEEP DISTORTED VOICE) Thank you for saving our son.

Okay, now I understand, but I'm terrified.

Any chance you got a friendly folksy mode on that thing?

(HIGH SQUEAKY VOICE) Well, how's this voice?

That's the one.

We've been searching for our son since he got lost.

ALIEN DAD: We came to your planet

to sample the Earth delicacy called "pizza," boxes.

(CHOMPING)

ALIEN MOM: But then somebody was playing space racer

in the escape pod like he knows he's not supposed to.

CLOYD: Bloop!

(NERVOUSLY CHUCKLES)

Okay, that explains a lot.

Now let me explain something.

We gotta save Rocky from those bad guys

and get back in time for our school reunion.

Which starts in like an hour.

Not to worry.

We'll rescue your friend with our unstoppable powers.

Then we'll just type in the location of your Earth reunion,

and beam you there with just the press of a button.

This big, inviting button?

No, no, don't touch that!

Oh, bloop.

NARRATOR: Oh, bloop indeed.

Because Bullwinkle just teleported Cloyd's parents

to his Wossamatta U reunion.

We gotta get outta here.

But there are humans everywhere.

We need a disguise. And fast.

Ted? Alice? Is that you?

It says so on their name tags.

And, look, it's you two human classmates,

where we used to...

Oh, you're not going anywhere.

Sylvia, look! It's Ted and Alice.

NARRATOR: So, as Cloyd's parents found themselves

stuck catching up with Sylvia about the good old days,

miles above the reunion, at Rafi Tusk's space station,

or wow, should I say space mansion,

our fearless flying squirrel finally fuh-woke up.

(STUTTERS) Wha...

Where am I? Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Because I'm going to use your super squirrel superpowers

to super takeover the world.

Yeah, I don't see that happening.

Then I will show you.

(BEEPS)

Ugh. Goofy remote.

Where is video conference button?

Boris!

Natasha!

Fearless Leader, stolen space mansion has everything.

Space spa, space movie theater.

Huge space closets full of space mansion clothing.

And a robot that only makes omelets.

(CHOMPING)

Where is the robot that will get you down here

to help me call the world leaders?

Oh, that's Zip Line Bot.

(WHISTLES)

(GRUNTS)

Powerful world leaders, coming up.

Ugh. You again?

Turn the world over to me or else.

Or else what?

Or else Squirrel!

Show them what you can do with your freaky powers.

I don't have to listen to you.

No. But you have to listen when I control your mind

with my hypnotransmittifier.

Ta, ta, ta.

Send a deadly eye beam down to the Earth now.

(GROANS)

(ALL GASP)

And that was just a sandcastle.

Mount Sandmore!

It was blasted by a space ray.

That sounds awesome, buddy.

And imagine what I can do to non-sandcastles

when I send my super squirrel into space

to unleash his power all over the world.

You wouldn't dare.

You have one hour to surrender world control to me or...

OMELET BOT: Your omelet is ready, sir.

Ugh, not now, Omelet Bot.

But it will get cold.

Ugh, fine.

You have one hour.

(ALL GASP) And this time, for realsies,

nobody will try to stop me. Hmm.

NARRATOR: But he was wrong.

Because at that very moment, people were trying to stop him.

Including two eccentric billionaires.

That evil monocle guy stole my rocket,

satellite, and space mansion.

That's the same rapscallion who took my bajillion dollars,

but did not give me my alien.

(BOTH GRUNTING AND GROWLING)

You still have your "eccentric billionaire" ring?

Oh!

BOTH: Time to activate!

(ECHOING)

NARRATOR: And also pursuing Fearless Leader

were a talking moose and a toddler alien.

Okay, Cloyd, we've got to get pumped for this rescue mission.

We need some pulse-pounding,

"Save Rocky, save the world, and get to that reunion" music.

MALE SINGER: ♪ Jump like a frog does... ♪

Now we're talkin'.

And with the help of this flying saucer's stealth mode,

they'll never see us coming.

-(ALARM BLARING) -AUTOMATED VOICE: Somebody's coming.

Somebody's coming.

(GROANS) Alarm comes just as Massage Bot was finding his groove.

Hey, intruder, you turn around,

or you're gonna get evaporized real good.

AUTOMATED VOICE: f*ring mean laser in

ten, nine...

-Whoa! -...eight, seven, six...

Please don't evaporate us.

-Why not? -Because, uh...

We're delivery guys with your food.

NATASHA: Oh, yeah? What kind of food?

Mongolian barbecue.

I mean, pizza.

Ooh. Love me some 'za.

Yeah, come on in.

Now we just need a disguise.

Human suits. Perfect.

They'll never suspect a thing.

Yeah, that's Moose and green bloopy thing

trying to rescue Squirrel.

Run!

Chase Bot. Catch Bot. Rope Bot.

Chase them, catch them, and tie them up with rope.

Massage Bot!

You stay here.

Catching Moose and Alien with bots has me feeling tense.

(SHUDDERS)

Rocky, where are you?

NARRATOR: And so, Bullwinkle raced through the mansion to find his best friend,

then checked the money pile one more time to be sure he wasn't there.

I'll never be a part of your evil plot.

I'll use my alien powers to escape,

and there's nothing you can...

Yeah, don't use your alien powers to escape.

Okay.

Whoo-hoo! Time's up.

So? Are you ready to surrender the world to me?

ALL: Never!

Fine. But you'll change your minds

when my super satellite is orbiting the world,

raining down evil squirrel powers upon all of you.

Well, this isn't good.

NARRATOR: Just as it seemed all hope would be lost,

hope arrived in the form of...

Bullwinkle!

Yes, it is me.

Cloyd, and my dramatic sense of timing.

Get me out of this thing.

What thing?

Oh, that giant satellite on your head.

No problem. (CRACKS KNUCKLES)

(GRUNTS)

Big problem.

(GROANS)

Bullwinkle!

NARRATOR: Oh, no! Rocky's been launched!

Can Bullwinkle and Cloyd save our satellited squirrel, and...

Oh, no, again!

They're surrounded by menacing Mansion Bots!

How's that for dramatic timing? Hmm?

NARRATOR: Find out, after this important massage.

Wait. "Massage?" Well, that can't be right.

Uh, no, it says "massage" here. Wait a minute, okay, beats me.

On this day in ,

General George Washington was tense from all that generaling.

(GRUNTS) A little lower, Ralph.

That's better.

Now, let's go cross that Delaware.

And the next day, the British surrendered.

Making it a very important massage.

NARRATOR: No, I love fake history.

Anyway, now we resume our story

to find Boris and Natasha preparing to get rid of Bullwinkle and Cloyd.

Boris! Natasha!

I thought I told you to get rid of Moose and Alien.

We are getting rid of them, Fearless Leader.

We're going to launch them into space

with a super sinister Moose-A-Pult.

Oh, no. That's what this is?

Wait. Couldn't we just, like, pull the lever,

and then like... (IMITATING expl*si*n SOUND)

Moose and alien thing goes into the void of outer space?

(CHUCKLES) That might be evil enough for your average evil villain,

but for your "super evil villain..."

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

Swinging pendulum thing cuts rope painfully slowly

to build dramatic tension.

And when rope is cut,

it drops the weight, which pulls the lever,

launching Moose and Alien into space.

How long will this take?

We estimate anywhere between and minutes.

Perfect.

(WHISTLES)

This is taking too long.

Let's go power up the squirrel and kick off my plan.

Somebody press the button.

(DINGS)

(LAUGHING)

Oh, no. We only have to minutes

to get out of here. (GRUNTING)

NARRATOR: As Cloyd and Bullwinkle struggled to free themselves

from being Mooseapulted into the vast emptiness of space,

time had already run out for our world leaders.

All right, world leaders, surrender to me now,

or the whole planet will suffer a fate

more terrifying than you could ever imagine.

You're going to activate every volcano on the planet?

Worse.

You're going to block out the sun?

Worse!

I'm going to make my super squirrel

force everyone in the world

to jump like ze frog does.

(YELLING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Jump like the frog does.

Croak, croak, croak, croak.

Croak!

MALE SINGER: ♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Croak croak croak croak

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Croak croak croak croak

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Croak croak croak croak

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Croak croak croak croak

♪ Jump like a frog does

♪ Croak croak croak croak

♪ Jump like a...

Well, I told Vivian,

who immediately told Joan, who ran to Cassandra.

♪ ...like a frog does

♪ Croak croak croak croak

♪ Jump like a frog does Croak croak... ♪

"Jump like a frog does?"

Everyone loves this song.

Sure, the first three or four times you dance to it.

But what happens when you dance to it

three, or four million times.

You monster.

Our legs will explode.

(CHUCKLES) And I won't turn it off until the world is mine.

It's omelet time, baby.

(CHOMPS) (MOANS)

So good I wish I had two mouths. (MOANS)

NARRATOR: I never thought I'd say this

but speaking of two mouths...

Cloyd, you've got two mouths.

Maybe you can bite through the a*

before it cuts the launch-us-into-space rope.

(DEEP BREATHS)

(BITES)

Aw. Too bad you didn't have a third mouth.

(BITES)

I meant, too bad you didn't have a fourth mouth?

(SIGHS)

(BITES)

You wouldn't happen to have a...

(BITES)

You did it, little buddy. We're saved.

Aw, crud.

NARRATOR: Oh, no, is this the end?

It can't be. But it is.

Or is it?

No, it's not. Because, that.

BOTH: Eccentric billionaires club!

Billionaire guy.

Other billionaire guy.

You saved us.

It's what good billionaires do.

Nobody messes with our planet.

Do you know they've got everyone jumpin'

like a dag'gum frog down there?

Jump like the frog does.

They're using your squirrel friend

and my super satellite to control everyone on Earth.

But that satellite wasn't designed to withstand

that much super squirrel power.

What does that mean?

My little buddy isn't gonna blow up, is he?

No, no, nothing like that...

(ALARM BLARING)

Actually, yes. He's gonna blow up.

Oh, no. He'll hate that.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Squirrel overload. Squirrel overload.

Quick, you get out there and save your friend.

I'm not leaving Cloyd so you can take him for your Alien Zoo.

It's like my Grammy Boudreaux used to say,

"There's no point in taking an alien for your Alien Zoo

"if there's no planet left to put it on."

Now go. Go!

NARRATOR: And so, Bullwinkle and Cloyd hurried back to the flying saucer

in a race to stop Rocky from blowing up.

MALE SINGER: ♪ Jump like the frog does ♪

Jump like the frog does.

Croak. Croak.

Jump like the frog does.

Jump...

(SCREAMS)

(ALL GROANING)

I can't stop!

♪ Croak croak croak croak

- ♪ Jump like a frog does... ♪ - (LAUGHING)

BORIS: Are your calves getting tired yet?

Are you ready to make Fearless Leader

rule all-of-world?

(LAUGHS)

All right.

You've given us no choice.

You win.

ALL: Just make it stop.

Yes, I win.

And I'll make it stop,

right after the rap which is my favorite part.

MALE SINGER: ♪ Gotta jump like a frog and that's no joke

♪ Gotta live for the moment before we all croak

♪ If catastrophe is what you want to avoid

♪ Just zoom in the spaceship with your little pal Cloyd

♪ Now the plot thickens and the time's gettin' tight

♪ Gotta save your friend from the super satellite

♪ No, that's the wrong button try da one on the right...

Wait, is the rap telling them exactly what to do?

♪ Good job now use that crazy arm

♪ To save your friend from gettin' harm

CHORUS: ♪ Oh, yeah, it's on

MALE SINGER: ♪ You know half of being friends is just showin' up

♪ Now it's time to ghost 'cause it's blowin' up

♪ Jump like a frog does... ♪

NARRATOR: And by plucking Rocky out of the satellite,

the people of Earth were saved from the froggy hoppocalypse.

And then I told Cassandra,

who then told Greg, who then told Chuck...

(ALL GROANING) ALL: Ooh.

Hooray!

(LAUGHING)

You're not going to sign over the world to me, are you?

(ALL LAUGHING)

- ALL: No. - (DIAL TONE)

He looks mad.

Destroy that moose and squirrel.

Uh, okay. I guess we'll use, Destruction Bots?

Huh, I didn't even know we had those.

This place has everything.

Like fancy media room to watch destruction of Moose and Squirrel?

Ooh, that sounds like fun.

Bullwinkle.

Rocky.

-Cloyd. -Bloop.

NARRATOR: Rocky.

Narrator.

Terrifying robots.

Terrifying robots?

BOTH: Terrifying robots.

(ALL SCREAMING)

Mm, oh, I think this is the part where they crash.

ROCKY: We're gonna crash.

BULLWINKLE: Which means we won't impress everyone at the reunion.

BILL: Ugh, Rocky and Bullwinkle didn't even have the nerve to show up.

Ugh. Figures. I bet now they're both boring,

and would drive here in their boring car,

and do something boring.

Hey, that's Bullwinkle.

And that's Rocky.

That's, like, six really scary space robots.

NARRATOR: Ooh, it looks like Rocky and Bullwinkle's reunion

just got a lot more interesting.

And a lot more dangerous.

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

No way they're getting out of this one.

(CHATTERING TEETH)

That's enough!

Stand back, Bullwinkle,

I got this.

Aw, crud. I'm outta juice.

I guess making seven billion people

jump like a frog really takes it outta ya.

Then we only have one option.

Please say run. Please say run.

Space Kwon Do.

(GRUNTING)

Hi-yah!

(ALL GASP)

NARRATOR: And then, realizing that the moose

that helped their son needed help himself,

Cloyd's parents decided to give him a little space-kwon-boost.

Hokey smokes!

Space Kwon Do really works.

Frankly, I'm just as surprised as you are.

Your turn.

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

That squirrel is amazing.

You know, we used to go out.

Let's Space-Kwon-Do this.

(GRUNTING)

NARRATOR: And "Space-Kwon-Do-This," they did.

With the help of even more perfectly timed

space kwon pizzaps from Cloyd's parents.

(IMITATING KARATE SOUNDS)

BULLWINKLE: More incoming.

NARRATOR: But after a while, Cloyd's parents started getting space-kwon-tired.

So they decided to take a break

by giving Rocky and Bullwinkle temporary super powers.

(BOTH YELLING)

NARRATOR: Thus creating an alien-powered space-robot fighting force,

the likes of which the world,

or a Wossamatta U reunion, had never seen!

(GRUNTING)

NARRATOR: They cha-cha-cha-cha-chopped!

And kah-kah-kah-kah-kicked!

Until finally, they claimed va-va-va-va-va-victory!

(BLOWS)

(GASPING)

(CHEERING)

NARRATOR: And so, with a little bit of help from Cloyd's parents,

Rocky and Bullwinkle not only won

the biggest robot battle in cartoon history, but also...

And the winner of this year's most interesting alumni

at the reunion goes to

(GASPS) Rocky and Bullwinkle!

(ALL CHEERING)

Thank you so much, everyone. (CHUCKLES)

Now what do you say we get this party restarted.

MALE SINGER: ♪ Jump like a frog does...

Make it stop!

- ♪ Jump... ♪ -(RECORD SCRATCHING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

NARRATOR: Oh, that's better.

And now, everyone was happy.

Except this guy.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Fearless Leader. Look on bright side.

Da. At least we still have awesome space mansion.

Not so fast.

(SHRIEKING)

(SCREAMING)

Eccentric Billionaire powers.

BOTH: Activate.

NARRATOR: And now, we wrap up this alien-packed adventure

with Rocky and Bullwinkle returning their powers

to their bestest little buddy in the galaxy...

MALE SINGER: ♪ Jump like a frog does... ♪

NARRATOR: And then Cloyd returned to his home planet,

where he and his family opened a Moist Rapids Water Park franchise.

After the reunion, Rocky went on to write the bestselling tell-all,

Hokey Smokes, There's A Satellite On My Head.

He also provided his own voice for the audio book.

ROCKY: And that's when they put the satellite on my head.

And I said, "Hokey Smokes."

NARRATOR: And after winning Wossamatta U's "Most Interesting Alumni Trophy,"

Bullwinkle went on to accidentally leave it at the reunion.

And Boris, Natasha, and Fearless Leader

all ended up behind bars, where they belong.

In Colonel Boudreaux's newly-imagined Evil Villain Zoo.

They're so fascinating. (GRUNTS)

NARRATOR: And who knows what exciting adventures

lie ahead for Rocky and Bullwinkle?

Well, I'll just tell you. It has to do with monsters.

BOTH: What?

NARRATOR: See you next time.