01x14 - Almost Famoose

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR:Ah, Frostbite Falls.

The sun is shining. The birds are singing.

It's the perfect setting for...

BOTH: A full-blown musical production number!

NARRATOR:I was gonna say "picnic" but, hit it!

♪ Well, here's our big song About Frostbite Falls

♪ Its beauty overflowing Overwhelming our eyeballs

[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]

♪ We've been To Prague and Norway

♪ Did a London episode

♪ But none can hold a candle To our wonderful abode

♪ Look at all those happy faces They always say hello

♪ Like happy Mayor Grundstrom

♪ Nice to see ya, Don't you know?

♪ Mr. Grocer's grocery store Has everything you need

♪ Mrs. Baker's baking cookies And, oh look, a tumbleweed ♪

[WIND HOWLING]

From Tin-Pan Johnson's Tumbleweed store.

Need some tumbleweeds, boys?

We're having a big sale today!

BOTH: No, thanks.

♪ We've got woodsy woods For camping

♪ Lots of butterflies to chase

♪ It's a town that is so happy You can see it smile from space

♪ But you haven't heard The best part yet

♪ You're not gonna believe it

♪ The tourists come from miles

♪ And miles around So they can see it

♪ Our hometown's Greatest pride and joy

♪ It's not a mystery

♪ 'Cause Frostbite Falls Is home

♪ Of the biggest bird bath In history

♪ Ah!

♪ Ah! Ah!

♪ Check out This giant happy bird bath

♪ In Frostbite Falls

♪ They love to take Their bath here,

♪ There's no charge, It's free to alls

♪ The big Frostbite Falls song

♪ Tweet, tweet, tweety tweet

♪ Singing all day long

[BIRDS CAWING]

♪ We love this giant bird bath

♪ And we love Frostbite Falls ♪

Cue the fireworks!

Cue the what now?

I'm not taking a picture of that.

Our vacation is ruined!

I think I went a little too big on the fireworks.

Yeah, you did.

NARRATOR:Uh...

Roll the new rocking title sequence!

♪ It's time to rock and roll

♪ Why don't you come along?

♪ Get ready for adventure

♪ After this opening song

♪ We are the bad guys We walk the bad walk

♪ And we're gonna b*at Moose and Squirrel

♪ And finally gonna Take over the world!

♪ We're gonna get famous We gotta go, come on

♪ Now it's time to end This totally awesome

♪ New opening Title sequence song

♪Jam-a-lam.

NARRATOR:After damaging the town's beloved bird bath

with a big opening number,

it was time for Rocky and Bullwinkle

to face the music.

They've ruined our number one tourist attraction!

Millions of traveling birds

depend on that bird bath to get clean.

As we all know, Frostbite Falls is the geographic epicenter

of all North American birds' migratory patterns.

Tell them, Professor Smartbrains.

It's true.

We should ban them from town forever!

Now, now. Nobody's ever been banned from Frostbite Falls.

BOTH: Phew.

And let's not be too hard on Rocky and Bullwinkle.

That was an amazing musical number.

We all loved it, didn't we, Professor Smartbrains?

It's true.

And we all love this town.

Which is why we're all gonna fix that bird bath together.

Now, who wants to donate to the "Fix the Bird bath" fund?

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[WIND HOWLING]

Not helping, Tin-Pan.

My prices are tumble-rific!

Well, does anyone else have a suggestion

on how to raise the bird bath money?

Benefit concert!

Mayor Grundstrom,

if music got us into this mess,

music can get us out.

Hit it, fellas.

Ever since I was a little moose,

it has been my dream to be a king of rock 'n' roll.

Up on stage, in front of a sea of screaming fans,

while raising money to help our beautiful town.

And it's my dream to do the same thing,

except with a recorder.

[RECORD SCRATCHING]

[PLAYING OUT OF TUNE]

That's enough recorder, Rock.

But it was good, right?

Good? It was enough.

Of course! A benefit concert.

People from all over will come

and give us that sweet bird bath fixing money

when they hear Rocky and Bullwinkle.

[PLAYING OUT OF TUNE]

Yeah, we're gonna go practice.

NARRATOR:So, as our heroes left their town hall meeting,

we go to a different town hall meeting of evil.

Okay, I need a new "Take over the world" plan.

Let's spitball.

Who has an idea? Hit me.

[THROUGH SPEAKER] Hey, I'm Mike. I work in payroll.

Yes, Mike. What is your suggestion?

Well, we're always doing these crazy plans.

What if, instead,

we work on Pottsylvania's infrastructure and education

to create a better world

through a skilled workforce and robust economy?

Hmm.

Hate it!

[SCREAMING]

Anyone else have an idea? Don't be shy.

There are no wrong answers. Except the one that Mike said.

Ah, Boris, Natasha. Now, you hit me.

Uh, we could, perhaps...

[LAUGHS CUNNINGLY]

Watch TV.

I...

love it!

TV has all the answers.

It's hot, it's now and it's taking over the world.

It's music.

And no one's more powerful than today's top pop stars.

Justin Justin,

Lady Big Shoes,

DJ Wicky Wicky,

and "Weird Al" Yankovic.

I'm Mario Lopez,

here with screaming music fans.

Pop stars rule the world!

I would do anything they say!

What?

Really?

So, if Lady Big Shoes or Weird Al told you

to commit crimes and stuff,

you'd do it?

-Oh, my gosh! Yes! -Oh, my gosh! Yes!

That's it! I will become a famous pop star,

and make my fans take over the world for me!

And Boris and I can be members of your fearless band!

Keytar, baby!

[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]

You're not going to be in my band.

[MUSIC STOPS]

I have a more important job for you.

Pop quiz.

Why do my world domination plans

always fail?

Because you rely on crazy ideas like Mike in payroll said?

No!

Moose and squirrel.

I try to take over the world with stinky pie.

Bam! Moose and squirrel.

I try to take over the world with monsters.

Kapow! Moose and squirrel.

Somehow, someway,

it is always moose and squirrel!

That was actually pretty good.

Now, get to Frostbite Falls,

and get rid of moose and squirrel!

Right away, Fearless Leader.

How about some elevator music, dahlink?

[PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]

Ooh, relaxing.

So, as Boris gave his elevator concert,

Rocky and Bullwinkle were trying some new looks

for their big bird bath benefit concert.

What do you think, Rock?

I can't see!

[THUDS]

[BOTH PANTING]

What do you think, Bullwinkle?

I can't breathe!

[GRUNTING]

What do you think, Rock?

We can't hold up our heads.

[GROANING]

I'm not sure we're very good at music.

Well, our benefit concert is in one hour.

So, if we want to help the town that we love,

we'd better find out what we're good at, and fast!

I'm freaking out!

NARRATOR:You two are good at being loud.

Narrator's right. We are good at being loud.

And the louder we are,

the more people will hear us and show up for the concert.

NARRATOR:Yeah, that's not exactly what I was getting at.

BOTH: Let's get loud!

[PLAYING HEAVY METAL]

NARRATOR:But as Rocky and Bullwinkle were getting loud,

they had no idea that they were also

about to get Boris and Natasha-ed!

Let's take care of moose and squirrel quickly,

so we can play in Fearless Leader's band.

Time to jam-a-lam it, baby!

BOTH: [SHOUTING] Loud!

NARRATOR:So, as Boris and Natasha were seeing stars,

so was Fearless Leader.

Because he just kidnapped

the most famous pop stars in the world.

Let us out of here.

We're pop stars.

Yeah, we get what we want.

♪ Let us go ♪

The greatest music stars in the world.

No, I told you, I couldn't find Weird Al.

Yes, I know he has a rich, velvety voice,

and boyish good looks. But, I couldn't find him.

Wait, are we pawns in some kind of evil plan?

Silence!

I have brought you here

because I'm going to be the next big thing in music.

Hit it.

Say goodbye to Fearless Leader.

And, say hello to...

Sassy Von Famous!

And now, with my music sucking machine,

I will vacuum out all of your talent

and give it to myself,

so I can take over the world with music.

[BEEPING]

And now, to test it!

[CLEARING THROAT]

[SINGING OUT OF TUNE]

♪ I'm a pop star

♪ Do what I say and... ♪

Why didn't the talent sucking machine work?

Uh-huh. Machine not based on real science.

Oh, okay. Can't actually steal talent.

We should use algorithms

to create a brainwash song, instead. Got it.

Yo, does that mean we can go now?

No! Because with you superstars trapped here,

there will be no one to challenge me

as I climb to the top of the charts,

creating an army of youthful fans

to do what Sassy says.

[LAUGHS WICKEDLY]

I like that. Make that the name of the song.

NARRATOR: So, as Fearless Leader was about to unleash

music's most dangerous song

since Boppin' Bobby Shakes chart topper

Swim Right After Eating,

Rocky and Bullwinkle were about to take the stage

at the biggest benefit concert ever thrown for a bird bath.

Okay, when moose and squirrel take the stage,

I'm going to take them out with a keytar solo.

Hey, since when do you play keytar?

Since I upgraded them

with moose and squirrel Melting Melt Rays.

Frostbite Falls!

Are you ready to save a bird bath?

Can we get serious for a minute?

We love this town.

You're not just our neighbors,

you're our family.

CROWD: Aw...

And that's why we're gonna put on a show

that's gonna blow you all away!

Time to jam-a-lam!

We call this song,

"Birdbath: Long May You Stand Tall!"

[SCREAMING]

I think we went too big on the speakers.

Yeah, We did.

NARRATOR:Oh, no!

Will Rocky and Bullwinkle be able to make things right

with their beloved town?

Will Sassy Von Famous take over the world with music?

And without a giant bird bath,

won't all those clean birdies get dirty?

Find out, after this message from our crazy sponsor!

Tin-Pan Johnson here,

and I've got just the right tumbleweed

for all your tumble needs.

Like, abandoned ghost towns,

a lifeless desert,

or a bird bath town recently destroyed

by a moose and squirrel.

So, tumble on down to Tin-Pan Johnson's.

My deals are crazy!

And so am I.

I am, too.

NARRATOR: We now return to our story,

where Rocky and Bullwinkle's disastrous concert

has made a disaster out of Frostbite Falls.

Which, in turn, has frightened away

all bird bath tourists.

Which, angered the townspeople,

which was very bad news for our heroes.

I'm so, so sorry, Rocky and Bullwinkle,

but the angry mob has voted unanimously...

To ignore the fact that we destroyed the bird bath

and ruined the whole town?

Close. To ban you from Frostbite Falls. Forever.

And, you're gonna have to turn in

your official "I heart Frostbite Falls" coffee mugs.

But we do heart Frostbite Falls.

We heart it so much!

I'm sorry, boys.

Frostbite Falls is the only home we've ever known.

Where are we supposed to live now?

[WOLF HOWLING]

The woods?

Bullwinkle, the woods are no place

for a moose and squirrel!

Don't worry, Rock,

I think we're gonna do pretty well in the wild.

[YELLING]

Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Good point, Rock. It's time to give up.

MALE VOICE:Don't give up.

What? Who said that?

I did.

It's a ghost!

No. It's Weird Al Yankovic.

It's ghost Weird Al Yankovic!

Yes. It's me, Weird Al.

But, I'm not a ghost.

I'm just standing behind the fire.

What are you doing wandering in the woods all alone,

Weird Al Yankovic?

Someone has been kidnapping

the world's most famous pop stars.

But, I managed to escape,

and now I live here,

in the woods.

BOTH: Cool.

And now, I'm going to...

♪ Help you

♪ Al's going to help you I'm really going to help you ♪

NARRATOR:Handsome, hilarious, and helpful?

He's a triple thr*at!

And speaking of threats...

He's sassy. He's Famous.

He's Sassy Von Famous.

And he's sassing his way up to the top of the charts.

♪ Sassy says jump up and down

♪ Sassy says sit on the ground

♪ Now Sassy says do this

♪ And this and this

♪ And a little of this

It's official.

Everyone is doing what Sassy says.

Yes, they are, Mario Lopez.

That's a really catchy song.

Yes, it is, Lady Big Shoes.

And just wait until my loyal Sasstronauts

hear what Sassy says

in my next sassy single!

"Do what I say,

"and what I say is stop whatever you're doing

"and swear allegiance to me now!"

NARRATOR:Oh, that song sounds

so evil, but that title is so catchy!

Meanwhile, wandering in the woodsy woods

were Boris and Natasha,

who were trying to catch Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Enough!

Sure.

Now, according to the Frostbite fools,

moose and squirrel are in these woods.

And, if we don't find them,

Fearless Leader will find us and then we're done for.

Don't worry, Natasha,

I was raised in the wild by wolves.

I got this.

I'm in my element now.

[HOWLING]

And I'm slightly terrified.

[SNIFFING]

I picked up the scent.

This scent you picked up, was it moose?

Or waterfall bound log?

In retrospect, I think, it was the log one.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

So, you cracked the bird bath,

then put on a benefit concert to fix it.

But, ended up destroying the bird bath

and bankrupting Frostbite Falls.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Well, if music got you into this mess,

then music can get you out of it.

Yeah, that's what we said earlier.

And now, we live in the woods.

But, when you sing from the heart,

you have everything.

So, what do you heart the most?

BOTH: Frostbite Falls!

Then sing about that.

That's it! We'll sing a song so sweet, so heartfelt,

that Frostbite Falls will forgive us,

and take us back.

But, we've got no instruments,

no cool outfits,

and no way for them to hear us.

We got nothing, Yankovic!

When you have a song in your heart,

you have everything.

[VOCALIZING]

NARRATOR: And with the power of music,

Weird Al summoned the woodland creatures

to get Rocky and Bullwinkle some cool clothes.

Some rocking instruments.

And a way for the people of Frostbite Falls

to see their performance.

Aw, man.

Admit it. Your wolf sniffing powers

can't help us find moose and squirrel.

Da, but my wolf calling powers can.

Now stand back as I call my wild wolf brethren

to help find them.

[HOWLING]

See! Wolf help to the rescue.

Those aren't wolves, idiot!

Those are mountain lions.

Okay. Look, the calls of the wild are very similar.

No, they're not.

Foolish mountain lions.

You're no match for wolf boy.

Is that waterfall?

Yeah. Sounds bigger too,

wolf boy.

NARRATOR:As Boris and Natasha once again plummeted

down the waterfall on a log,

Sasstronauts from all over the world

were logging on to see the next Sassy Von Famous

world premiere video.

Or should I say "Take over the world" premiere video?

In just seconds, everyone will hear this song,

do what I say, and take over the world for me!

And this time, even moose and squirrel

are not around to accidentally

or deliberately stop me.

All right, guys, we're all set to stream

your "I'm Sorry" song to everyone in Frostbite Falls.

Thanks, everyone, for all your help.

Thanks to the birds, the rabbits, the bears.

Those angry bees

in that huge hive directly above us.

Should we be worried?

You should never be worried

when you sing a song from the heart.

And, know that bees never att*ck unless provoked.

Okay, Weird Al.

According to my wolf ways,

moose and squirrel are that way.

Oh, yeah? What about that way, wolf boy?

I meant that way.

And look! Dangerous beehive is right over head.

Not for long.

Where do you keep getting keytars?

Is secret.

NARRATOR: So, as Boris and Natasha

were ready to stop Rocky and Bullwinkle,

Sassy Von Leader was ready to take over the world.

[LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY]

And Rocky and Bullwinkle

were ready to sing from their hearts.

Hit it!

♪ We're sorry Frostbite Falls ♪

Hit it!

♪ We're sorry Frostbite... ♪

NARRATOR:And, as Rocky swatted for his life,

and Bullwinkle avoided stings on his strings,

our heroes started building quite a buzz online.

That's right, honey, I'm talking bees!

My hits! What's happening to all my hits?

Some moose and squirrel are k*lling it in the woods.

What?

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

Everyone's watching.

NARRATOR:And faster than you can say, "Aah, bees!"

Rocky and Bullwinkle's

"We're Sorry Frostbite Falls" Nature Concert,

attracted all of Fearless Leader's one billion sasstronauts.

They're amazing!

NARRATOR:And everyone in Frostbite Falls.

Aw, look at how sorry they are, don't you know?

NARRATOR:And so, "We're Sorry Frostbite Falls Ahh!"

quickly became an international number one smash!

BOTH: Not if we can help it.

[GROWLING]

You don't happen to speak

-angry bear, do you? -Nope.

And now, for the fireworks!

NARRATOR:Proving that with a song in your heart,

and bees in your face,

there isn't anything you can't do.

Including winning back the people of your beloved town,

and getting your coffee mugs back.

And stopping a sassy world dominating plot.

♪ Let's take over the world And then give it to Sassy

♪ Let's take over the world

♪ 'Cause you know that it's classy... ♪

No!

NARRATOR:You mean, yay!

Because Rocky and Bullwinkle are now famous pop stars,

and all of Frostbite Falls is happy again!

BOTH: We're home!

NARRATOR: Except for that dirty bird,

who still doesn't have a bird bath

to properly bathe itself.

Oh, and that one and that one.

But I'm sure that's not a big deal though, right?

Right?

Find out in our next exciting episode,

Rocky and Bullwinkle's Magical Moostery Tour...

or Bird, Bath & Beyond!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]