[Flies buzzing]
[Quirky music]
♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
♪
- That was a hoot!
[Ship horn blares]
[Upbeat jazzy piano music]
♪
- You're the worst driver I ever seen.
Can't this tub go any faster?
- Thanks for driving grandpa to his cruise ship, rock.
Sorry he's a little cranky.
- Cranky, eh?
Why, you fat little cow boy.
"Senior citizen singles cruise."
What fun.
Old folks in a boat.
[Tires screeching]
Hey, let go of me.
I ain't no sack of spuds, you lousy kids.
Guh!
- Okay, grandpa, let's get you to your room.
- I ain't your grandpa.
- It should be right up here.
- Hold it right here, boy.
I got to go.
- But, grandpa, we don't have time.
I've got to get off the boat.
- Yeah?
Well, this is more important.
- Hey, rocko, where's grandpa?
Hey, that's a good idea.
I kind of got to go too.
- [Groans]
[Ship horn blares]
[Yells]
- Cast off!
- No cast off!
No cast off!
[Grunting]
[Yells]
- Hey, what are all these old coots doing here?
Don't leave me alone with them, boys.
Stay close to me.
- What a lovely mess.
We're not even supposed to be on this cruise.
No money, no tickets, and we're stuck here
Taking care of grandpa.
Now what are we gonna do, heff?
- Just what we're doing now.
Act natural and blend in with the crowd.
Who's gonna know?
- [Farts]
[Door slams]
- "Just blend in with the crowd, rocko.
"Act naturally, rocko.
Who's gonna know?"
Who's gonna-- who's gonna know?
[Grunts]
Why did I ever--[grunts]
[Door squeals]
[Foreboding brass music]
♪
[Loud stomping]
- Well, my little stowaways,
It appears you're in luck.
Two lowlife deckhands were just tossed overboard
By a mob of angry geriatrics,
And you will take their places.
Ding!
- Aye, aye, captain.
[Dubious brass music]
- You missed a spot.
Give it a spit shine, beaver.
[Spits]
[Squeaky tones]
- [Chuckles]
Whoo, what a shine.
- How are we supposed to get these chores done
And babysit methuselah ii?
- Easy.
I'll take care of the jobs--
- Not so fast, pal.
We'll flip for it.
- Okay, deal.
- Loser gets grandpa.
- Um...
- Heads! - Tails, tails, tails.
[Coin clattering]
Whoo, hoo-hoo, hoo, hoo!
Tails! - [Groans]
- Well, looks like I've got some chores to do.
[Whistling]
♪
Oh.
Hi.
[Deflated brass music]
♪
[Upbeat keyboard music]
[Teeth chattering]
- Let's get some sun, eh, grandpa?
It's a beautiful day.
- Oh, this is nice. Yee-haw.
I feel so good, I think I'll howl at the sun.
Put me back in the shade, you twerp.
[Whimpering]
- Grandpa wolfe!
[Wheels squeaking]
[Ship creaking]
- [Snores]
- Beaver? Beaver!
Beaver!
- [Snores]
- [Farts]
[Wheels squeaking]
[Ship creaking]
[Horn honking]
- [Snores]
- [Farts]
- [Yells]
- [Snores]
Crash!
- Having fun, boy?
[Squeaking tones]
- [Whistles]
- [Singing operatically]
[Screams]
Hey.
- I realize being old is no picnic, grandpa.
But there's no reason
Our generations can't get along, is there?
- You don't have a clue, do you, you little runt?
I thought this was a singles cruise.
Where are all the babes?
Hey, there's some.
Yoo-hoo, ladies!
Oh, girls!
Come to papa.
Here they come.
- [Yells]
[Whimpering]
- [Sighs] beaver got the babes.
Oh, youth is wasted on the young.
[Upbeat rock music]
♪
- Wah!
♪
[Descending xylophone tones]
[Clamoring and clattering]
[All gasp]
- Hey, punk, you scratched my walker.
[People shouting]
- [Yelling]
[Upbeat jazzy music]
♪
[People wheezing]
- [Groans]
Blimey, this music's boring.
- I could really cut a rug in my younger days.
- Ah, you couldn't dance if someone was sh**ting at you.
- I won grand prize
At the hotfoot club new year's dance of '.
- You won diddly.
I was there, andiwas king bop.
- Yeah? You're both senile.
It was me that tripped the light fantastic.
[Feet stomping]
- Who wants to dance?
[Deflating tones]
[All speaking simultaneously in high-pitched voices]
- Rocko!
[People shouting]
- [Gasps]
Well, bless my aching bones.
- What is it, grandpa?
- I'd swear that gal out there was--
[Gasps] it is.
It's winnifred wolfe.
- Who's winifred wolfe?
- What, are you ignorant, boy?
[Sighs]
She was the most popular she-wolf at ozark tech.
Oh, she was crazy about me.
♪
Smack!
[Cymbals crash]
[Throbbing]
Ah, she's probably forgotten about that by now.
I--i--where'd she go?
[Indistinct chatter]
- This is your captain speaking.
Dinner is now being served in the flamingo room.
♪
- Today's entrees include prime rib,
Pheasant au gratin, and trout le pufe under glass.
Bon appetit.
[Liquid squelching]
[Loud squelching]
- Bon appetit.
[Loud munching]
- [Chuckles]
- Food fight.
[Laughter]
- For dessert, we--
[Dishes shattering, people laughing]
- Hey, toots.
How's tricks?
You remember me, don't you, doll?
- Hiram?
Hiram willy wolfe, is that you?
- Yup, that's me.
The one and only. Your dream wolf, babe.
[Howls]
- Yes, I remember you.
You haven't really changed much
These past years, have you?
- No way, fay.
I'm still the hottest thing since sunburn, baby.
[Hisses] ha!
Let's go stepping, huh, kid?
- I don't think so, hiram.
Perhaps if you had changed a little,
But you still resemble the wolf I knew so long ago.
Good-bye, hiram.
- So, grandpa, how'd it go with your old girlfriend?
- Shut up, beaver.
Smack!
- Mean old bugger.
Hope I never get old and crotchety.
- You got a lot to learn there, young fella.
- Yeah, like what?
How to be rude and nasty without even trying?
- Well, you are gonna be old one day, junior,
If you're lucky.
And then you too are gonna feel
The heartbreak of a prune diet or lost memories
Or the pain and loneliness of losing a loved one.
Maybe then you'll understand why
Old-timers aren't always the bright ray of sunshine
You find yourself to be, huh, boy?
- [Crying]
[Ducks quacking]
[Ship horn blares]
Hey, ducks, go away!
Big ship! Ducks!
Hey, ducks!
Oh, blazes! Captain, captain!
Captain, you've got to turn the boat.
We're gonna ram some ducks.
- Exactly.
- Turn the wheel! - I like ramming ducks.
- No!
- But it's mine.
[Loud screeching]
- [Guffawing]
The bermuda triangle!
[Frantic whistling tones]
[Ducks quacking]
- [Sniffling]
[Ducks quacking]
Hey, ducks, go away!
Big ship! Ducks!
Hey, ducks!
Oh, blazes!
Captain, captain! Turn the wheel!
We're gonna ram some ducks.
[Lasers whooshing]
[Upbeat brass music]
[Eerie whistling music]
♪
[Thunder crashes]
- [Roars]
- [Screams]
[Thunder crashes]
- Cheap special effects.
Big deal.
I want my money back.
[Thunder crashes]
- Mmm.
[Spacecraft whirring]
Cool.
Chicken.
[Gear rattling]
[Screams]
[Both scream]
[All screaming]
- They were hideous!
Hideous creatures.
[Spacecraft whirring]
Whew. - Ooh.
Uh-oh.
[Clock ticking]
[Clock hands whirring]
- Hey, rocko, you're all wrinkly.
- Look who's talking, raisin boy.
- What is this?
What are you supposed to be, huh?
Why, I could--hey.
Hey, i--
I'm feeling frisky.
[Clock clattering]
[Bell rings]
[Knees clattering]
- Yow!
- Come on, bones.
Baby needs a new pair of shoes.
And I could use a new caddy.
[Bell rings]
- Get away from me.
I don't want to be young again.
No!
Okay, but I was crazy as a kid.
[Screams]
[Loud crunching]
Ah!
- I must find a way to get out of this bermuda triangle.
And then I will barbecue
That little kangaroo boy and his ducks.
- [Growls]
- [Suckling]
- Tag, you're it!
[Tires squealing]
[Laughter]
[Kids shouting]
- [Screams]
- Lookit, heff, we're , years old
And surrounded by wild kids.
- Eh?
- I never realized what older folks have to go through.
I think I got arthritis in all my parts.
- Well, here you go, brother.
I know them aches and pains well enough.
I'm years old.
Leastways, I was.
Weird all us old-timers turning young again, huh?
Must be the water around here
And maybe all them dang clocks flying around.
Anyway, my bones feel better than they have in years,
So I don't need these here pills no more.
You take them, son.
Let me know if there's anything else y'all need.
Any little thing at all, you just name it, huh?
- Shut up, will you?
- You got to excuse my friend here.
He's never been old before.
- No problem, compadre.
Being old can be a hoot.
You just don't want it to hit you all at once.
Better ease on into it. [Chuckles]
- You okay now, rocko?
- Yeah.
I don't know why I'm so grumpy.
I guess I'm just tired.
I need to sit down.
Whoa!
[Screaming]
- [Wailing]
- Shame, shame, shame.
How dare you?
You should behave yourself.
Don't you know what happens to little boys who don't behave?
- Winnifred, now that I am young again,
Come to the casbah with me, hmm?
- Young or old, mr. Wolfe, you think only of yourself.
- Now what?
[Wind gusting]
- [Screaming]
[Screaming continues]
Help!
Help!
Help!
- I'll save you, old buddy.
- Help!
- Yup.
Here we go.
- Help!
Help!
- Here, grab this rope.
- Help!
[Gurgling]
- Beaver?
[Gasps] beaver!
- Back off. He's ours.
- [Gasps]
- Oh, the horror.
I just can't watch.
- [Growls]
[Bell dings]
- [Crying]
My grandpa's gone,
Taken by the angry sea.
He's howling with the angels now.
He's--he's my ex-grandpa.
- Heffer.
- [Wails]
He's--he's--
- He's over there.
- Hey, rocko. You okay, boy?
- Yeah, I'm fine, grandpa.
How about you?
Are you feeling okay?
- Never better, son.
Never better.
- Smile!
[Thunder crashes, camera shutter clicks]
[Raucous rock music]
♪
[High-pitched whirring]
- Aw, spit. I'm bald again.
- [Wailing]
[Horse whinnies]
[Tires squealing]
[Screaming]
- Best dang cruise I ever took.
- Man, it was cool being old.
Without my teeth, I could swallow food whole.
- Thanks again for saving me life, grandpa.
From now on, you and I will be best of friends.
- Me and a beaver, friends?
- Stranger things have happened.
- [Blowing raspberry]
02x08 - Cruisin'
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Follows the life of an easily frightened immigrant wallaby named Rocko who encounters various dilemmas and situations regarding otherwise mundane aspects of life.
Follows the life of an easily frightened immigrant wallaby named Rocko who encounters various dilemmas and situations regarding otherwise mundane aspects of life.