01x10 - Cow's Night Out/Otis Season

[bunniefuu]

I'm just heading to the fields, duke, I'll be back.

[Animal noises]

Clear!

[♪...]

All right!

"Rat-abunga!"

Man: ♪ from the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪

♪ We go on dancing...

[Animals cheering]

♪ ...through the night

Ow, ow, ok, ow.

Ow!

Whoo!

♪ Do-si-do your partner, now

♪ Gonna party now till the morning light ♪

♪ Do-si-do and don't you know ♪

♪ It's just the way we animals roll. ♪

Ha-ha!

[♪...]

Hey, where's the farmer?

"Tv's funniest pets" is startin' any minute.

Oh, he'll be here.

That man loves his surfing cats.

And that parrot who says, "shabuggy!"

He's hilarious.

Dude, you're surrounded by talking animals.

What's the big deal about a talking parrot?

It's the way he says it.

"Shabuggy!"

"Shaboopy!"

No, he goes "shaboogy!"

"Shaboopy!"

"Shaboogy!"

"Shaboogy!"

Shh, shush.

Here comes the farmer.

But the governor had no comment.

Aw, the news?

Boring.

I hate the news.

Hey, hold on, guys.

Check it out.

And finally, it's moose appreciation week, folks.

This funny-looking guy wandered into town

And was showered with yummy snacks and free hair care products.

Enjoy it, my antlered friend.

That's so unfair.

Why should moose get a whole appreciation week?

That's four whole days, and their milk is practically undrinkable.

Moose have a hard life, otis.

It ain't easy living in the wild.

Oh, like we have it so easy?

I couldn't get cell phone service for an hour yesterday.

Either that or nobody called you.

"Shaboogy!"

"Shaboogy!"

We get it.

Guys, there's some sweet moose giveaway action out there, and I want in.

[Mechanical whirring]

What you got there, fred?

Oh, just doing some woodworking.

Like our cousins, the beavers, ferrets are gifted woodworkers.

It's very relaxing.

Woodworking tools.

Just what we need.

Oh, the pain, but a calming pain.

Ow, my eyes.

Still relaxed, though.

[Screaming]

It's like I'm on a beautiful, splintery beach.

[Groaning]

Good morning, everybody.

[Laughing]

Pip: hey, what's so funny?

I've heard of donner and blitzen, but no one told me about moron and stupid-head.

Uh, for your information, we're moose.

Pip: yeah, can't you see this wood on our heads?

Oh, like anyone's dumb enough to believe that.

Come on.

Hey, a moose.

How you doing?

The name's pig.

Who's your little friend?

Otis, do you really think you're gonna get free stuff with that moose get-up?

Of course.

It's moose appreciation week.

Come on, who else wants to join us?

Oh, oh.

Over here.

Oh, oh, oh.

Duke, you in, buddy?

No, but when this goes horribly wrong for you, can I be leader?

Hah, hilarious.

Come on, pip.

Let's go greet our adoring public.

Right, step it back.

Moose is coming through.

You know, that little moose would be a good playmate for pip.

Otis: ah, a friendly biker cafe.

Perfect.

Prepare to be showered with pretzels and affection, my friend.

Pip: can't wait.

[General conversation...]

Check it out.

I've been practicing.

[Clearing throat]

[Imitating moose]

It's a moose.

Let's get him!

[All talking at once]

[Screaming]

Bikers!

Pip: go, go, go, go, go!

I'm going, I'm going!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

[Gasping]

[Sobbing]

What the cud?

Didn't they see we're moose?

We're moose!

Uh, otis.

I think moose appreciation week might be over.

What are you talking about?

Check out that sign.

Otis: moose hunting season starts today.

[Screaming]

[Screaming...]

Ok, that was not awesome.

New plan.

We get these antlers off, and never do anything I say again.

[Grunting]

What'd you put on these, glue?

No, I used pastrami.

Of course I used glue, stupid-head!

Well, they're not coming off.

I know.

What do we do?

I don't know.

Come on.

Let's knock them against this tree.

[Grunting]

Pip: not working.

[Grunting...]

This isn't happening.

This isn't happening.

This is not happening.

Boy: there's our prey.

A big one and a stupid little one.

Their heads'll look awesome on our clubhouse wall.

[Laughing]

No, let me laugh longer before you laugh.

Do it again.

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

Pip: great, they're never coming off.

Now I'll never be able to wear a top hat.

Oh, calm down.

We can saw them off back at the barnyard.

We just need to sneak back without attracting any hunters.

Huh?

[Laughing]

Got a backup plan?

Yes.

Run in fear!

[Screaming]

The stupid hunt is on.

Yeah.

Come on, let's go.

Gee, freddy, do you ever think of making something else besides pencil cups?

Well, you know what they say.

Nothing relaxes you like pencil cups.

That's right.

Sure is.

Moose hunting season!

Slingshot!

Mean kid!

Mean friends!

Antlers stuck!

Can't wear a top hat!

Help!

Guys, guys, take it easy.

I can't understand a word you're saying.

They said it's moose season, they're being hunted by mean kids

And can't get the horns off.

I took gibberish in high school.

Top hat!

Tell them about the top hat!

[Laughing]

[Screaming]

Boy: stupid mooses!

This is serious.

We need someone who can formulate a master plan to save them.

And that someone is...

Abby.

No, not abby.

Oh, everett.

[Groaning]

Duke: no.

Peck.

No, he's standing right in fromt of you.

Who?

Where?

What is this, a trick question?

[Groaning]

Hey, guys, I have an idea.

The mean kid wants a moose, right?

Well, freddy can use his woodworking skills to build a giant one.

We can roll it into the woods to attract the kid

And when he gets close, we jump out from inside and clobber him.

Hey, that just might work.

I sure like the clobbering part.

What do you say, fred?

Will you do it?

Hm, this tremendous moose would be my greatest creation yet.

I'll do it.

[Cheering]

Abby: that's my favorite ferret.

Otis: wait, stop.

What are we doing?

Uh, I don't know about you, but I'm trying to live through lunchtime.

You're a shrewd planner, pip.

Maybe it's the antlers talking, but I'm not going down without a fight.

Here's the plan.

[Whispering indistinctly]

I can't believe you guys lost them.

You're, like, both lamer, lamer, loser face.

We were just following you.

"Ooh, we were just following you."

That's so lame, it's incredibly lame.

Lucky for you, I have super-awesome moose-tracking powers.

Hey, look.

I've spotted them.

Just like I said I would.

Come on!

Hey, go flush 'em out.

Me?

"Me?"

Just go.

Hey.

They're just branches.

[Screaming]

Yes!

They tricked us.

Let's get 'em.

Hey, aren't you forgetting something?

Huh?

Oh, right.

I'll take that.

[Laughing]

Well, it took every ounce of talent I had.

I present my masterpiece.

The heck is that?

Freddy, you were supposed to build a giant moose.

This is better.

You can keep pencils in it.

[All talking at once]

[Whistling]

I used some spare wood to make this in case freddy messed up.

What do you think?

I call the left leg.

I call the spine.

I'll put pencils in it.

Oh, wait.

No, I won't, because it can't hold them.

Boy: look.

Moose tracks.

Smell them to see how fresh they are.

[Laughing]

I made you smell moose tracks.

You smelled moose tracks for no reason.

Now you're like a moose track smeller boy.

Man: corn dogs.

Get your corn dogs.

Huh?

Hey, corn dog stand.

Give me a corn dog.

[Laughing]

Look at your head.

Looks like a rock.

[Gasping]

I totally love corn dogs.

[Screaming]

Yes!

[Laughing]

[Grunting]

Boy: hey, get me out of here.

No way.

I have to conserve my energy.

But don't worry.

I will avenge you.

I'm coming to get you, you stupid mooses.

Pip: ok, this is officially starting to get old.

Do you even know where you're going?

Otis: don't worry.

Unless I miss my guess, the road is right around this next turn.

Pip: I think you missed your guess.

[Boy laughing]

Oh, got a little problem.

I have you now, stupid moose.

Your majestic antlers will look so sweet and toasty on my clubhouse wall.

I don't think so.

Huh?

Step away from my moose friends...

...before I smack you upside the head.

[Giggling]

A giant devil moose?

Don't eat me!

Don't worry.

I wouldn't dream of eating you... Raw.

[Screaming]

[Laughter and cheering]

Man, that was classic.

I guess we won't be seeing him again anytime soon.

You could say that again.

He's about to be run over by a car.

What?

We can't let him get k*lled.

He's just a kid.

Giant man-eating moose!

[Panting]

[Screaming...]

[Grunting]

[Car screeching]

Ugh.

Did you see that, honey?

I sure did.

That moose just saved that little boy's life.

And so, in honor of this noble moose who risked his life for a child

I hereby abolish moose hunting season

And make it moose appreciation week all year long.

[Cheering...]

[Pip making eating noises]

Man, this candy's good, isn't it?

Duke: yeah, glad to hear it, otis.

Now can you get us out of here, please?

There's only one exit, and pig's stuck in it.

Pig: this is so not "shaboogy."

Abby: "shaboopy!"

Don't worry about it.

Freddy'll have you out in no time.

Ok, guys.

This is my first moose

So close your eyes, pretend you're in a pencil cup, and hope for the best.

[All screaming]

[♪...]

[Otis screaming]

Scuba diver!

Businessman!

Fairy princess!

They're terrifying!

They're...

Actually, those are the lamest scarecrows I've ever seen.

And I've seen a lot of lame scarecrows.

Ok, otis, those were just practice.

Freddy?

Freddy: yeah?

Show otis the real scarecrow now.

It's so scary, I can barely look.

Ow!

It better be.

Those crows have been getting really aggressive lately.

Crow: you can run, but you can't hide, sheep dog.

We are your worst nightmare.

French-canadian crows with anger issues.

Throw more corn at him!

Duke: ah, oh, mommy.

[Laughing]

We laugh at your pain.

Quebec, quebec, quebec!

[Groaning]

Behold, the scariest scarecrow costume ever conceived.

Ta-da!

A bunny suit?

Bunnies are terrifying.

With their nasty, protruding teeth, and their horrible pink noses.

Like the devil's own nose.

Here, see for yourself.

[Screaming]

Guys, please.

The last thing I need is for someone to see me...

[Laughing]

Hey, look at peter cottontail.

[Laughing]

Jersey cows.

Um, there's a very good explanation for this.

Yeah, your ballerina costume's in the cleaners.

[Laughing]

Man, "o-tice," you used to be the coolest cow in the county.

Now look at "youse."

You gone soft.

Yeah, soft.

I have not!

I'm cooler than a cool breeze of coolness.

Says the guy with the floppy ears over here.

[Screaming]

What a waste.

You lost it when you started hanging with those barnyard lame-ohs.

Oh, hey, hey, they are not lame-ohs.

Otis, look.

I learned how to juggle.

[Grunting]

Nailed it.

Otis.

Y'all ready to bring it at tonight's bingo game?

Nothing gets the blood churnin' like bingo.

[Laughing]

See you around, lame-oh... Tis.

[Chuckling]

"Lame-otis."

Clever.

"Lame-otis."

[Laughter]

"I" .

[Wheezing]

One.

[All talking at once]

[Sighing]

[Slurping]

[Squeaking]

"N"... [Wheezing], .

[Sighing]

Pip, please, please tell me you are not playing bingo.

You kidding me?

I wouldn't be caught dead playing bingo.

Thank goodness.

Yeah, I'm playing video checkers.

[Laughing]

King me, sucker.

Oh, what am I doing here?

[Slurping]

[Groaning]

Fifty-two.

[Screaming]

I can't take it anymore!

All: huh?

I used to be cool.

I should be out kicking it with the jersey cows

Not playing old lady games with you... You... Lame-ohs.

[All gasping]

I didn't mean that.

I just, I got to get out of here.

We're not lame-ohs.

Uh-oh.

Dude, I think you hit brain.

Yo, guys, I ditched the nerd herd, so what's "uzz-up?"

Something way cool, no doubt.

Too cool for your dorky butt.

Guys, guys, otis is back.

And he's achin' for some prankin'.

All right, but hold onto your udders.

Things are about to get wild.

[Doorbell ringing]

Ooh, I hope it's the anti-cow gear I ordered.

[Stammering]

Oh, I'm onto you, mr. Ding-dong ditch.

[Laughing]

Hysterically classic.

What?

You've got to be kidding me.

A ring-and-run?

That's the best you've got?

A snore.

You think you could do better?

Watch and learn.

[Doorbell ringing]

Mrs. Beady: all right, whoever you are.

I have a rolling pin, and I know how to use it.

Good evening, ma'am.

I'm popcorn king orville stumpmeister

The "popcorniest" popcorn king west of the rockies

And you've just won a lifetime supply of my world-famous popping corn.

Hah-hah!

Oh, well, thank you, but popcorn gets stuck in my teeth, and the thing is...

Well, I hope you got as much teeth as there is steam in your gullet

'Cause I got pounds of corn with your name on it.

Back the truck up, boys.

Oh.

Look, is that a talking animal?

What?

Where?

I'm just kidding.

Animals can't talk.

Well, I'm off to bring light, fluffy joy to others.

You're not the only peach in the barrel, you know.

Goodbye.

That's it?

You gave her corn?

You're even lamer than we thought!

Yeah, lame.

Three, two, one.

[Mrs. Beady screaming]

Whee.

He is back, baby!

[All talking at once]

Man: ♪ I'm a dog

Huh?

Hey.

Man: ♪ I'm a dog

[Laughing]

♪ Only one chance to get it right this time ♪

Man: oh, hey, turn off!

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

Man: ♪ I'm a dog

What did you... Hm?

[Stammering]

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

[Grunting]

[Laughing]

Otis, that was pure genius.

[Laughing]

Even my cud's laughing.

Guys, I am just getting started.

[Sirens blaring]

Ok, here's our story.

We're actors in cow suits promoting milk awareness month.

Guys?

Guys?

Ok, big guy, step into the light where I can see you.

Uh, sure, officer.

Hey.

They got to be around here some...

Ah, come on.

Oh no, your glasses.

I think they're broken.

A funny guy, huh?

Well, you know what else is funny?

These new heat-seeking tasers!

Ok, wait, before you...

[Stammering]

Good night.

The nerve of that otis, calling us lame-ohs.

Yeah, we do lots of cool things.

Who's up for hand shadows?

Ooh, look, a pretty birdie.

Pretty birdie.

He's flying away, look.

Lame-oh.

[Laughter]

Did you see the look on "o"'s face when that cop hoof-cuffed him?

[Laughing]

I thought I was gonna bust an udder.

[Laughing]

Otis got pinched by the -?

What are we gonna do?

Pinch him back?

Lame-oh.

You are.

♪ Well, I ditched my good friends ♪

♪ Didn't think that was cool

♪ Took up with some cows

♪ Now I'm feeling the fool

♪ I got the ditched my real friends for supposedly cooler ones

But then ironically was ditched by them and now I'm stuck in jail blues. ♪

Mercy.

[Screaming]

Surprise hole!

Hey, otis.

Abby.

And pip.

What are you guys doing here?

Oh, we thought we'd take a break from our incredible lameness to break you out of jail.

Lame?

Oh, that was, did you guys think I was...?

I wasn't...

Talk to the tiny paw.

Otis: sorry, paw.

[Grunting]

Hey, a little help here, please?

Pig, you too?

Give me a hand.

All right, all right, I admit it.

I was a complete jerk to you guys, ok?

Do you think you can ever forgive me?

No.

No, we can't.

Just kidding.

Check out my new birdie hand shadow.

Hey, look at the pretty birdie.

Pretty bird.

I'll get the key.

Hello, chuck's lens repair?

Hello?

Oh, great.

Now I'm talking into my pepper spray.

[Groaning]

Now to quietly and delicately...

[expl*si*n]

[Coughing]

Hi, otis.

Guys, that was plan "k".

I was still on "a".

What's going on here?

Oh, well, see, I found this rat in my cell

And so the board of health came down to run some tests.

Run!

[Grunting]

[Stammering]

Handle, handle, handle.

Where is it?

[Siren blaring]

We got company.

Milk me.

Well, well, look at this.

Some idiot left his keys in his car.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

You guys thinking what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking the thoughts.

He's thinking the thoughts.

Definitely thoughts happening.

The moon sure looks beautiful tonight.

I treasure these moments.

Definitely treasure.

[Siren blaring]

Hey, wasn't that otis and his lame-oh friends?

Looked like a dangerous high-speed chase.

Awesome!

Otis, he's gaining on us.

I'll lose him at this turn-off.

[Siren blaring]

[Bell ringing]

[All talking at once]

[Crashing]

All right, diesel jockeys.

Hands where I can see 'em.

I have an idea.

[Chuckling]

Yeah, gertie, gonna need some backup.

Got a bunch of goofball punks here looking at some hard time.

Sorry I got you into this, guys.

But at least you stood by me, unlike certain people.

What're you looking at me for?

You mean him?

Me?

I didn't do nothing.

It was him.

Yeah, it was me.

Wait a minute.

It wasn't me.

All right, all right, cut the chatter.

You people are all in a big bowl of trouble.

Freddy: stand down, officer.

Peck: f.b.i.

Freddy: and f.b.i. Fairy princess.

We'll take it from here.

Hold on now.

This is my bust.

Sir, this case is bigger than you could possibly know.

But i...

Back off or I'll have you knocked back to school safety patrol

Faster than you can say "peter piper picked a peck of... Peck of... Pickled peck..."

What?

Just go.

Yeah, go.

Yes, sir.

Right away, sir.

[Siren blaring]

[Cheering]

That's what I'm talking about.

Man oh man, we was wrong about your friends, "o-tice."

They are the coolest.

They're totally cold.

That's how cool they are.

Very, very chilly.

They're, like, frost-bitten.

Yeah, they got them blue toes, you know.

That's right, they're gonna lose a toe.

You know, that happened to my aunt's udder.

I told you my friends were awesome.

Hey, you guys like hand puppets?

Lame.

Yeah, totally lame.

Well, no more popcorn in the house.

Now to get started on this lawn.

[Crows laughing]

I don't think so, woman.

Talking crows?

We claim this popcorn in the name of canada, eh?

Shoo, shoo.

[Whimpering]

Run, foolish woman.

Run on your silly american legs.

Today, we feast!

Quebec, quebec, quebec, quebec!

[♪...]

Man: o...

...mation.