01x14 - Home Sweet Hole/Otis's Mom

[bunniefuu]

I'm just heading to the fields, duke, I'll be back.

[Animal noises]

Clear!

[♪...]

All right!

"Rat-abunga!"

Man: ♪ from the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪

♪ We go on dancing...

[Animals cheering]

♪ ...through the night

Ow, ow, ok, ow.

Ow!

Whoo!

♪ Do-si-do your partner, now

♪ Gonna party now till the morning light ♪

♪ Do-si-do and don't you know ♪

♪ It's just the way we animals roll. ♪

Ha-ha!

[♪...]

Man: ♪ who's that rodent in the s.u.v.? ♪

♪ He's got all the ladies digging what they see ♪

♪ Put some pedal to the metal and steers ♪

♪ Wind blowing through his tiny ears ♪

♪ Mouse driver.

Pip: whee!

Otis, this is awesome.

Check out all these other functions.

Pop a wheelie.

Ok, take it easy.

Ok, I'll take it easy with a little doughnut.

[Pip screaming]

Hey, how would you like to break the sound barrier in reverse?

Pip: look, I don't...

[Pip screaming]

Oh, that's not good.

Otis!

[Crashing]

[Horse neighing]

Pip!

Pip, are you ok?

My mouse hole.

It's ruined.

I am so sorry.

I'll make you a new one.

Want a nice high-rise?

[Grunting]

I'll even throw in a guest cottage with a hot tub and a cheese locker.

[Grunting]

Pip, come on.

Say something, buddy.

I was born there.

It's where I ate my first cheese.

Every corner was filled with precious memories.

Oh, man.

[Stammering]

Hey, you can live at my place till you find a new home.

I accept.

Wow, you already packed a bag and everything.

I keep it handy in case anyone ever destroys my home.

Wow, you're a fast-thinking rat with a can-do attitude.

Come on, roomie.

Heads up.

Man, these soy dogs rock.

Where'd you get 'em, anyway?

You're forgetting, pig's right next door to you.

[Grunting]

Who keeps doing that?

[Laughing]

That's classic.

We should've been roommates a long time ago.

Who's up for "kung fu cows from mars" on dvd?

Uh, just part one, or the trilogy?

No, the trilogy.

Otis: oh, man.

Chorus: ♪ ahh...

Awesome.

[Laughing]

Well, oh, man, I'm gonna turn in.

What?

But I got another three movies.

Dude, I'm b*at.

But I'm a night person.

Want to play checkers?

Yeah, I think maybe I'm just gonna try to lie down, and maybe...

[Snoring]

[♪...]

Uh, pip.

You want to keep it down?

What?

La musica salsa.

Oh, my bad.

Gracias.

Pip: hey, what's up?

Dude, can you hear me?[Distorted voice...]

I can't hear you.

Now I can hear you.

Can you hear me?

What?

I can't hear you.

Can you hear me, though?

What?

Can you hear me?

Dude, everyone can hear you!

[Distorted voice]

I got to go.

[Distorted voice]

[Phone beeping]

[Rooster crowing]

Pip: ♪ get on the love caboose

♪ It's the express, and it's headed for "youse" ♪

♪ You step on the train

♪ There's love on your brain

♪ I'll toot-toot on the whistle just to drive you insane ♪

♪ Toot-toot-toot, toot-toot-toot, toot-toot-toot, toot. ♪

Hey, what's up?

[Groaning]

I thought you were a night person.

I'm also a morning person.

Actually, minutes of sleep, and I'm good to go.

You want to prank the paper boy?

No, I don't want to prank any paper boy!

I would really enjoy pranking my eyeballs back into being closed

And pranking my mouth into snoring, in one long, eight-hour, uninterrupted prank!

Are you on medication?

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to yell.

I just...

Otis, don't apologize.

This obviously wasn't a good idea.

I'll pack my things.

No.

No, come on, pip.

You don't have to go.

You...

Wow, you really do pack fast.

You should get paid to do that.

My clothes are very tiny.

Wait, pip.

Don't leave.

Where are you even gonna go?

Welcome to casa del puerco.

I just have one rule: no corncobs on the floor.

Why, because they attract flies?

No, 'cause I love corncobs.

Just toss 'em right in my mouth.

Got it.

Thanks again for letting me flop here.

Oh, sure, sure.

Stay up as late as you want.

I can sleep through anything.

Later.

Pig's a really cool guy.

I should do something nice for him.

[Flies buzzing]

♪ Scap-scap, scoodle-doodle, doo-doo-doo-bop, ba-dooba-doo... ♪

[Gasping]

Surprise!

It took me three hours to clean it.

[Sobbing]: oh, no!

No, don't cry.

I wanted to do it.

Get out!

Huh?

Do you know how long it took me to get my stall that filthy, huh?

Years and years of grime and squalor, down the drain.

B-but I just thought that...

[Sobbing]

Oh, no.

My crusty blanky!

It's all soft and clean!

Get out.

Get out!

Sorry.

[Wheezing]

Ah.

Hi, otis destroyed my hole.

So I moved in with him, but that didn't work out

So then I moved in with pig, but I forgot he was a pig

So I cleaned his stall, and he got all mad, so I was wondering if I could...

And so that's how I ended up here.

Oh, you poor thing.

Here, have some more tea.

Yeah, and you can stay here as long as you want.

Ok, but I don't want to impose.

Just pretend I'm not even here.

Ok, let's see.

Where were we?

Oh, right.

[Clearing throat]

Streza di forzeta imanaci mien te gusto, giancarlo giannini!

Mi no imprezzi la principa de spadafore, sophia lorenzo!

[Grunting]

Idiote.

Stupido.

Disgraziata.

Imbecile.

[Screaming]

[Screaming...]

[Elephant trumpeting]

[Screaming]

Freak!

[Voices talking at once...]

Otis: ok, ok, ok, quiet down.

Look, let's just face facts and admit it.

None of us can live with pip.

Huh?

Whoa!

Which is why I've decided to build him a luxury condo

Of his very own right here in the barn.

[All agreeing at once]

They can't live with me?

Well, fine.

I don't want to be where I'm not wanted.

[Scattered animal noises]

Pip.

Hey, where are you, pipster?

I have a surprise for you in the shape of a home.

"Dear everybody.

Since you can't live with me anymore, I'm leaving the barnyard forever."

[All gasping]

Freddy: this is terrible.

[All talking at once]

You know, it's my fault.

I yelled at him.

Us too.

So did i.

Guys, there's no use...

[Screaming]

Sneak up on a guy.

Look, we can blame everyone except me later.

Right now, we got to find pip.

[All agreeing at once]

So tired.

So hungry.

Hm, a delicious wildflower.

Hey, get your own.

[Screaming]

Wow, you are the biggest bee I've ever seen.

What hive are you from?

Hive?

I'm not from any hive.

Oh, a free agent, huh?

You know, we could use one of you giant bees back at our place.

I, uh, don't suppose you need a place to stay, do you?

Look, you got it all wrong.

I'm not a bee.

I'm...

Does that include meals?

Oh, yeah.

Come on.

Otis: pip.

Freddy: here, pippy, pippy, pippy, pippy, pippy.abby: where are you, little pip?

Freddy: where are you, buddy?

Come on home.

Pig: pip, I'm sorry I yelled at you.

Oh, no.

[Gasping]

Some ravenous hawk devoured him and spit out his pelt.

[Gasping]

Oh, it's too awful.

Wait, give me that.

That's just an old, gray sock, freddy.

That's even worse.

The hawk put him to work making casual sportswear.

Uh, otis, can we not bring freddy on any more search parties?

What if something bad didhappen?

Pip's so small and tiny and helpless.

[Bees chanting "big bee"...]

[Grunting]

[Cheering...]

Four honey buckets?

No one's ever lifted that many before.

Man, I love it here.

You guys really know how to make a giant bee feel welcome.

Oh, this is your home now, "pally."

And now, there's someone very important who wants to meet you.

I'd like you to meet the queen.

Oh, hello, big boy.

Right, uh, got to go.

Halt!

What's the matter?

Are you shy?

Come to mama.

I hate where this is going.

Mm, oh, big hands.

Powerful thorax.

Yes!

You'll do nicely.

Uh, do what, exactly?

Be my th husband.

These eggs don't lay themselves, you know.

Whoa, hold the phone.

Look, lady.

No offense, but you're not really my type.

[Gasping]

But she's the queen.

This is unheard of.

What's the matter with you?

You refuse me?

No one rejects the queen.

Seize him!

[Buzzing...]

[Screaming]

Whoa!

[Grunting]

[Pip screaming]

That's pip.

I would know that joy-filled laughter anywhere.

Otis, he's being chased by a swarm of bees.

Really?

Because that's usually not the kind of thing you laugh at.

Oh, he's not laughing.

I'll save you, buddy!

Otis, no!

You're allergic to bees.

I'm coming, pip.

Hi-ya, yah, hoo-ah, yah!

Otis, is that you?

Pip, [grunting].

I'm here.

I'm trying to bring you back to the barnyard.

Let's make a run for it.

Forget it.

I don't want to go anywhere I'm not wanted.

Pip, please.

Everyone totally misses you.

What?

But I heard you guys saying...

Oh, forget what you heard.

Would I have just run into a swarm of angry bees to save you if it wasn't true?

Hey, yeah, that's true.

But then, otis, how come...

Hey, um, I feel , pounds heavier all of a sudden.

Does anyone else taste poison?

I'll save you, otis!

I'm your worst nightmare.

En garde.

Have at you.

Ha-ha.

You want some more?

[Buzzing...]

[Pip grunting...]

[Pip shrieking]

We're no match for him.

Retreat!

So you see, pip, we love living with you.

We just had trouble living withyou.

Oh, got it.

But where am I supposed to stay?

Right here.

Wow.

[Gasping]

A ping-pong table.

A waterbed.

An elevator.

Otis, get in here.

You got to check this out.

[Slurring]: yeah, I'm gonna have to take a rain check on that one.

What's he saying?

You'll do what?

Huh?

[Slurring]: a rain check.

A brain fleck?

Pip: dude, we can't understand you.

Your giant lips are getting in the way.

[Slurring]: rain check.

Oh, no.

Strained his neck.

[All talking at once]

[Slurring]: my neck is fine.

I'm trying to say I'll take a rain check!

[♪...]

[Bessy sighing]

Hey, bessy.

Hey, otis.

Oh, you got me there.

Wait.

"Hey, otis?"

What, no insult?

No zinger?

Who are you, and what have you done with my sarcastic, anger-spewing friend?

[Growling]

Ah, fear!

[Sighing]

What, no hitting?

My face is surprisingly not "sting-y."

For your information, this is a picture of my long-lost son.

I was separated from him when he was just a few months old.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

[Cow mooing]

We were at the petting zoo at the county fair

When my sweet baby snuck off to play with some balloons.

When I turned around, he was floating into the air.

[Cow mooing]

And I never saw him again.

Otis: that's so weird.

I was separated from my mom at a county fair when iwas a baby.

All I have to remember her by is my first cowbell.

Wait here.

I'll go get it.

[Crashing noises...][Sighing], my baby.

See?

Here it is.

I like to nuzzle it when I'm stressed out and stuff.

You know, the world's getting me down.

See, it's kind of like a security blanket

That's made of iron and makes a ringing sound

And why are you staring at me like that?

This is my baby's cowbell.

Do you know what this means?

I think I do, and it feels... No.

Otis, I'm your mother.

[Screaming...]

You done?

Hold on, one more.

[Screaming]

Otis: and so, long story weird, bessy's my mom.

That's right.

Otis is my big, handsome "snooky-ookums."

I'll be right back, baby.

Ok, mommy.

Freddy: oh, I wish bessy was my mom.

[Animals express congratulations]

[Animals express surprise and confusion]

Everything I know is a lie.

By the way, when's lunch?

Guys, guys, look.

I am way ok with this.

Now, I know in the past

Bessy has an ice block for a heart and anger where her blood should be

But that's because she was upset about her son.

She's a new person now.

Hey, there she is.

My mom.

I think I'll keep her.

[Laughing]

Uh, what are you doing there?

Ok, say goodbye to your little pals.

It's lunch time.

No, no, I'm cool.

It's cool, actually.

I just had a sandwich, so...

Come on, let's go.

Mom, not in front of my friends.

I said, let's go.

This is so uncool.

Bessy: here comes the airplane.

[Imitating airplane whooshing]

Mm-mm, mm-mm.

Open your mouth.

Mom, I'm not a baby.

[Grunting]

Mm, mm.

Hey, that's not bad.

Really interesting flavor.

What, what is that?

It's just oatmeal.

I made it with milk from my body.

[Gagging]

Food is my enemy.

Oh, look.

You've gotten yourself all dirty.

Here.

Ugh, mom.

But you're filthy.

When's the last time you had a bath?

Come on.

Let's get you in the tubby-tub.

No, please!

Not the tubby-tub!

No, no!

Bessy: oh, pipe down.

You're not even in yet.

Otis: I'm anticipating.

All right, make way for strokes otis, golf champion.

More like the golf "chumpion."

Am I right?

[Laughter]

"Chumpion," he says.

He transposed the letters.

Totally said it.

Ok, ok, check this out.

[Phone ringing]

Huh?

Oh, hi, mom.

I just wanted to see how my precious little man is doing.

Yeah, he's doing great, mom.

We just talked five minutes ago.

Still fine, still golfing.

Got to go.

Love you.

[Phone beeping]

Oh, "o-tice."

Your mommy loves you.

Yeah, does she tuck you in at night?

[Laughing]

Yeah, tuck-in time, right?

Oh!

[Laughing]

"High-larious."

Hey, less jabber, more kicking your butts at golf.

[Phone ringing]

[Groaning]

Yes?

Bessy: otis, have you gone boom-boom yet today?

[Laughing]

All: boom-boom.

[All talking at once]

Mom, ok, please.

And yes, yes, what you just said then, ok?

Thanks for caring.

Bye.

Bessy: good.

What color?

[Phone beeping]

[Laughing]

Dear congressman.

Since you have failed to respond to my previous letters on the talking animal issue

I am forced...

Man, do I need this.

Pranking mrs. Beady will help take my mind off smother of the year.

Ok, I think we're ready.

Hit it.

[expl*si*n noise][screaming]

What's going on?

Huh?

[Screaming]

Nathan!

The gas boiler exploded and blasted us into space!

Call nasa!

Get the martian repellent!

Hoard oxygen!

[Laughing and scattered conversation...]

Uh-oh.

Otis?

[All talking at once]

Uh, I can explain.

Uh, I was dead at the time.

Germs were controlling my brain.

Oh, where am i?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Pranking people's wrong.

Now, you march right in there and apologize to her.

What?

There is no way I will ever apologize to mrs. Beady.

And by the way, there's nothing you could say that would make me change my...

[Doorbell ringing]

Oh, if this is another prank, I'm really gonna lose it.

Good afternoon.

My son has something he'd like to say.

Uh, yes.

Your face smells.

Try again.

[Groaning]

I'm sorry I made you think your house was in outer space, mrs. Beady.

You did it?

Oh, what a relief.

This is fun now.

I thought it was those talking animals that drive me mad.

Would you like to come in for some vitamin crackers and frogurt?

No.

He would love that.

Oh, he is so adorable.

You know, I have a nephew about your age.

We should arrange a playdate.

Rather die.

He would love that.

My spirited boy loves to play.

Tell me about it.

Little eugene is exactly the same way.

May I touch him?

I really wish you wouldn't.

Bessy: please.

Mrs. Beady: oh, what chubby little cheeks.

Bessy: aren't they squishy?definitely invading personal space.

Mrs. Beady: like a jelly peach, or like a piece of marzipan.feeling very unclean.

I can't take any more of this!

[Screaming]

[Door closing]

I'm sorry.

He didn't have his nap yet.

Oh, I hear you, girlfriend.

Oh, what a lovely family.

Smell like a stable, but nice.

You stop right there, young man.

No, I will not stop right there, mom.

You have done nothing but embarrass me since the moment you found out I'm your son.

Watch the tone, mister.

You're ruining my life!

I hate you!

[Whimpering]

[Crying]

Clearly, I need another firm, but loving, hand to help raise this child.

[All whistling]

All right, morons.

Which one of you wants to marry me?

Pip: I will, I will!

Me, pick me!

Anyone else?

Pip: yes, me.

Look up.

I'm right in front of you.

Anybody at all?

Oldie, how about you?

[Wheezing]

Pick me!

For the love of cheese, pick me!

Bessy: oh, well.

I guess I got to do it for my baby.

Come on, mini-moron.

Let's go break the news to your new stepson.

Can we cuddle first?

Otis?

Hey, bessy.

You know what?

No need to apologize.

I feel the same way.

But the important thing is that we learn from this

And move on in a way that we can both be comfortable with.

Yeah, save it.

I'd like you to meet your new daddy.

Son!

[Screaming...]

Are you done?

[Screaming]

Let's face it.

You're a handful.

Sure, he's repulsive, with his stupid little face and ratty tail

But I have to think as a mother.

Yeah, "o," don't worry.

Having me as your dad won't change your life that much.

[Stammering]

Son, your mom and I are going out.

You have to baby-sit your half-cow, half-mouse sister.

Oh, dad.

I was going bowling tonight.

No backtalk.

You're not too old to go over my knee, you know.

Yeah, I'd like to see you... Whoa!

[Spanking and otis groaning in background...]

Why can't he be more like his freaky mouse-cow sister?

Pip: and one to grow on.

[Screaming]

Ah, he'll get over it.

Come on, let's get hitched.

So, anybody know a good minister?

Well, I used to be a ship captain.

[Foghorn blowing]

♪ Yo-de-do-do-do, yo-de-do

Hey, is that an iceberg?

[Crashing]

♪ Yo-de-do-do-do, yo-de-do

I find that hard to believe.

I believe it, and that's what matters.

Good enough.

Now let's do this thing before I get cold udders.

Welcome, everybody.

Let's set sail for love.

[♪...]

That bouquet is mine.

In your dreams.

I'll try not to cry.

Oh, who am I kidding?

[Crying]

They won't really go through with it.

I mean, there's just no way.

There's absolutely, positively... Huh?

[Organ playing "here comes the bride"]

No!

[Whimpering]

Bell-bell make bad-bad go bye-bye.

Bell-bell make bad-bad go bye-bye.

Bell-bell make bad-bad go bye-bye.

What the...?

I now pronounce you man and...

Otis: stop the wedding!

[Crowd gasping]

[Organ plays dramatic chord]

Listen to me.

I've always kept my cowbell wrapped in a newspaper

From the day I was separated from my mom

But it's dated an entire year after bessy's kid floated away.

I can't be bessy's son.

[Scattered conversation][organ plays dramatic chord]

I'm sorry, bessy.

I know you want your son back, but it's not me.

Phew, what a relief.

Huh, not what you usually say when your heart is breaking into a million pieces.

I didn't know what was worse: having you for a son or being married to a rat.

Too late.

No going back now.

Come on, porky.

Make with the words.

Let's go.

Chop-chop.

Pork chop, let's go.

Phew, I got to get some air.

[Grunting]

That bouquet's mine.

[Both talking at once]

Pip: wait.

Where's everybody going?

Come back.

The food is paid for.

I also do bar mitzvahs.

Hey, bessy.

Hey, moron.

Thank goodness that whole thing is over.

Oh, it wasn't so bad, was it?

I think I liked being your son.

You know, for, like, an eighth of a day.

Well, I didn't completely hate you as a son either.

Tell anybody and I will take you out.

It's our secret.

Pinky swear.

Promise.

You think maybe I could burp you one last time?

All right.

But seriously, just once more.

[Burping]

That's my boy.

Hello?

Hello?

I've been up here a very long time.

A little help, please?

[♪...]

Deep voice: o...

Squeaky voice: ...mation.