02x13 - Back at the Booyard

[bunniefuu]

[Wolf howling]

[Dramatic organ music]

[Owl hooting]

♪

[Thunder crashes]

[Squeaky flapping]

[Up-tempo organ music]

- Ha-ha.

[Girl screams]

[Wolf howls]

- ♪ It's a spooky, scary party on a halloween night ♪

♪ All the monsters and the zombies ♪

♪ Causing halloween fright

♪ I see frankenstein, he's looking fine ♪

♪ The werewolf's kind of hairy

♪ Don't blame you if you scream ♪

- ♪ 'Cause this place is spooky scary ♪

[Girl screams]

- ♪ Halloween, ha-halloween ♪

♪ Halloween, ha-halloween ♪

♪ Stick the candle in a pumpkin ♪

♪ And it sets a creepy mood

♪ If you put one on a scarecrow ♪

♪ That's a really creepy dude

♪ I see dracula, he's dancing with the ghost of bloody mary ♪

♪ Don't blame you if you scream ♪

♪ 'Cause this place is spooky scary ♪

[Girl screams]

- ♪ Halloween, ha-halloween ♪

♪ Halloween, ha-halloween ♪

♪ Halloween, ha-halloween ♪

[Creepy theremin music]

[Person screams]

[Wolves howling]

- Prepare yourselves, everyone, for a spooky tale of halloween,

When ghouls roam the night

And hideous creatures leap out from among the shadows.

- Hi guys.

All: yaaaaah!

- Relax, it's just me.

All: yaaaaah!

- Okay, maybe take it down a notch.

All: yaaaaah! - Guys, this is not that scary.

- Hey, it's otis.

[All speaking at once]

- That's not frankenstein.

- Hey, why aren't you guys dressed yet?

It's time to trick-or-treat.

- Well, pig's getting us in the mood

With a scary halloween story.

- But the yummy time candy company is holding a contest

For whoever sends in the most halloween candy wrappers.

We gotta get an early start.

- Tell the story, pig. - Yeah, come on, pig.

- Come on, come on. - All right.

This is the story of hockey mask bob.

Hey, pip, shine that light under my chin again.

- Which one? - The third one.

- [Sighs]

- Many years ago, in this very town,

There was a boy named bob.

[All gasp]

He was a strange, friendless lad

Who lived in a spooky house by the town cemetery.

[Owl hooting]

[Door creaks]

Every halloween, he'd put on an old hockey mask

And go trick-or-treating on this very stretch of road.

And every year,

The other kids would steal his hard-earned candy.

[Kids laughing]

Then one night, bob had enough.

He scrawled a message on the village green

Saying he'd be back one halloween

To take revenge on the town.

And he was never seen again.

[Fiery whooshing]

To this day, every halloween night,

Children leave candy in a hollow tree at the cemetery

To keep hockey mask bob from making his vengeful return.

- Wow, scary. - Freaky.

- Hey, wait, what's that smell?

[Sniffs]

Oh, right, it's a huge pile of--

That story is stupid!

- Otis, what is wrong with you?

- Yeah, why do you have to be such a doubting otis?

- Yeah.

- Guys, it's just a stupid urban legend.

I mean, come on.

How did his eyes glow red?

What kind of name is "bob," anyway?

- But the candy the kids leave for him

Is always gone the next morning.

- Yeah, it's probably eaten by tubby squirrels.

Now, come on, let's go. Candy contest.

Trick-or-treating. Chop-chop.

- Well, why is this dumb contest so important anyway?

- Oh, uh, no reason.

Say, did I mention that the winner gets

A lifetime supply of candy?

- Ga-doy. - A lifetime supply?

- We're imagining it now.

[Warped xylophone music]

Wow, what a vivid candy fantasy.

- That was incredible. - So many colors.

- Great, then come on. Let's get ready.

- All right, but you have to promise

To leave some trick-or-treat candy

In hockey mask bob's tree.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soccer face jim's got a tree.

I promise.

Now, come on, guys. Costume up.

Okay, roll call.

First, a personal friend of mine for over years.

You know him; you love him.

Say hi to count porkula.

- I vantto suck your pan drippings.

- Now give a nice big hand for my wife,

That frizzy-haired ball-and-chain,

The bride of frankencow.

- Hi. How y'all doing?

- He's small, hairy, and has anger issues.

Give it up for weremouse.

- Ow-ow-owwww!

- And of course everybody's favorite undead pooch,

Skele-dog.

- Hey, I can't stop chewin' myself.

- Well, that's everyone on my list.

- What about freddy and peck?

- Oh, we're not going.

I convinced freddy to wait with me in the vegetable patch

For the coming of the great zucchini.

- Oh, so why are you wearing dresses?

- It's friday night.

- Now, that's frightening. Well, stay weird.

Everybody else, let's go trick-or-treating.

[All cheer]

- Hope they have cheese fondue.

[Doorbell rings]

- Now remember, guys.

To win this contest, we'll need to use all our wits,

All our quiet cunning to--

- Hello?

- Give us lots of candy!

- Oh, what adorable monsters.

Here you go.

- Candy, candy. - Me like candy.

All: thank you.

- Okay, guys, just like we planned.

[Doorbell rings]

All: trick or treat.

- Oh, what adorable barn animals.

- Yeah, and we're not that last group.

- Yes, quiet your face.

All: [repeatedly] candy.

- Good start, people. Let's keep it going.

Remember, time is candy. Let's move.

[Knocking]

All: trick or treat.

- Only one handful each.

- Guys?

[Upbeat instrumental music]

[Knocking]

[Sucking]

[Doorbell rings]

- Wah!

[Doorbell rings]

[Doorbell rings]

- [Screams]

[Doorbell rings]

[Knocking]

[Ringing and knocking]

[Splatting sounds]

- Run away!

- Yeah, let's go. - Come on.

I told you it was more fun to destroy stuff

Than to go trick-or-treating with the babies.

- You were right. - You're so right.

- Babies are dumb. They can't talk.

They don't know how to write.

So if we're not trick-or-treating,

Why are we in costume?

- Because, shuh-duh,

We're totally a cool ninja strike force,

Except you.

I only had two ninja costumes,

So you have to wear a girl's genie costume.

- I'm okay with that.

- Besides, it's more fun to steal candy

From all the lame-o trick-or-treaters.

And I can see the mother lode right over there.

- Guys, we are totally on target

For winning that lifetime supply of candy.

More houses to go.

[All groan]

- My feet hurt, otis.

Don't we have enough candy?

- "Oh, christopher columbus,

Do we really need to discover the new world?"

- Ha-ha, he totally got you. Oh!

- Guys, we're finishing what we started, and nothing--

And I mean nothing-- is gonna stop us.

- Think fast, baby.

- Oh!

[Kids laughing]

- Except those jerks.

- That was snotty boy. - He took our candy.

- Let's get 'em!

- Guys, we can't fight them.

We might get exposed.

- She's right.

- Guys, you're forgetting.

Snotty's brain is tiny and encased in hate.

We can totally scam our candy back.

- But they have a genie.

- Your brain is also tiny. Come on.

[Wheels rattling]

- Make way for the ninja strike force.

- Don't forget haji.

[Laughter]

- Huh?

Get out of our way.

- Sorry, dental inspection.

No children beyond this checkpoint

Until we inspect your teeth.

[Kids cheering]

- But what about those kids?

- What kids?

[Kids cheering]

- Those kids that just--yee!

- Enough talking. Let's get started.

Dr. Porkberg?

- All right, let me see what you got here.

Ooh, that's not good.

Mmm, I don't even know what this is.

Right, close 'er up.

I'm gonna have to fail you.

- Are you even a real dentist?

- What? How dare you?

Just look at my diploma.

- Señor luigi's magic camp?

- Here, have a lolly.

Floss after meals. Bye.

- Oh, we got 'em. [Laughter]

- Oh, it was those stupid trick-or-treaters.

Let's get 'em!

- Run! - Come on, move it.

[Shouting]

- Eggs. Turn around.

[Shouting]

Toilet paper. Turn around again.

[Shouting]

Ah! Shaving cream. More turning.

Ah! Old-timey cartoon b*mb?

- They still make those?

Oh!

- [Sniveling laughter]

Happy halloween, babies.

- [Laughing] babies. - Babies.

- Oh, that hurt. - Oh.

- Looks like they're heading toward the cemetery.

- Otis, give it up.

No stupid candy contest is worth all this.

- Yeah, let it go. - Enough already.

- You're right. We have to get that candy back.

And I have a plan that can't miss.

- Aw, man. - Can't miss!

[Wolves howling]

- Those babies will never follow us

Through this awesome cemetery.

[Laughs]

They'll be too scared.

Both: yeah, it's awesome.

- It sure is.

Ah, surprise spider!

- Hey, guys, check out this tree trunk.

It's full of candy.

- No. Stop. What are you doing?

- That's hockey mask bob's tree trunk!

- Hockey mask bob?

You mean the kid who got his candy stolen

And swore revenge?

Don't tell me you're scared of that stupid story.

- What? No. - No way.

- As if. - Nuh-uh.

- A little. - A lot, actually.

- A lot. - Very afraid.

- Very frightened. - Oh, super fearful!

- Well, I'm not.

Watch.

[Both gasp]

[Heavy breathing]

[Cringing]

Man, you guys are pathetic.

I can't believe you're afraid of someone as fake and lame

As hockey mask bob.

- [Screaming]

- Where you guys going?

Fine, run home to your mommies.

Tell her to change your genie pants.

I'm glad they're gone.

[Heavy breathing]

Though it's weird I can still hear them breathing.

[Whines]

- [Grunts]

- [Yells and screams]

[Clanking]

It's bob, hockey mask bob.

Hockey mask bob.

- [Grunts]

[Laughter]

Ah, good stuff.

- That was classic.

- He was like, "aahh!"

- Okay, otis. You got your candy back.

Now can we get out of this creepy place?

- Sure, we can.

- Okay, that sounds good. - Let's go.

- Right after I take a handful of candy

From this tree trunk.

All: no!

- Ah! What?

- Otis, don't you dare take candy

From hockey mask bob's tree trunk.

- Oh, come on, just a little

To replace what we lost chasing snotty boy.

Even a freak like bob could understand

The economics of that.

- But the legend.

He'll come back and take his revenge.

- Oh, his revenge? Golly, I'm all a-tremble.

Guys, hockey mask bob is all moon cheese and cr*cker dust.

He doesn't exist.

Now I'll just take a tiny handful,

And we can be on our way.

There, see? Nothing hap--

Ah! My hand!

All: ahh!

- Ah! And I was just kidding.

- Oh, man. - Not funny, otis.

- Ah, I live for these moments.

Well, guys, we're swimming in candy.

Let's go home.

- I don't forgive you. - You are a piece of work.

- Always with the jokes.

[Heavy breathing]

- Is that the great zucchini?

- No, that's a regular zucchini.

- Oh, oh, there he is.

- No, that's a rock.

- Ah! I hear him talking.

- That was me. - Oh.

- The great zucchini will be here, freddy.

You just have to be patient.

- But I'm so excited.

His candy must be pretty amazing

If it's worth skipping trick-or-treating.

- Oh, freddy, the great zucchini doesn't bring you candy.

He brings you high-quality stationery.

- Wow, that's even better.

What?

- Shh, freddy, I think I see something.

[Wheezy breathing]

- See? - Where? - Right over there.

- Oh, yeah, I see him. - No, no, that's another rock.

- Look over there. - Ooh, you think it's him?

- I think so.

- Great zucchini, sir,

We are but two humble barn animals

With a love of quality stationery

Who have stayed up late to--

Eh, heh?

- Hey, you're not a giant zucchini.

- [Grunting]

- Ahh!

[Upbeat theremin music]

♪

[Howling]

- ♪ It's a spooky, scary party on a halloween night ♪

♪ All the monsters and the zombies ♪

♪ Causing halloween fright

♪ I see frankenstein, he's looking fine ♪

♪ The werewolf's kind of hairy

♪ Don't blame you if you scream ♪

♪ 'Cause this place is spooky scary ♪

[Girl screams]

- ♪ Halloween, ha-halloween ♪

♪ Halloween, ha-halloween ♪

- , Pieces of candy.

Guys, we are totally gonna win that contest.

- Otis, that candy is cursed.

You tainted it the minute you stole

From hockey mask bob's tree trunk.

- You're right, abby, I've cursed us

With a lifetime supply of candy.

[Sighs and groans]

Man, you should have seen the look your faces

When I took that candy from that stupid tree.

What a bunch of scaredy-cats.

- Yeah, you really showed us.

- You guys were all like, "hockey mask bob

"Is gonna get us.

I'm a-scared."

- We get it. We're first-class saps.

- Yes. You are much braver than we are.

- Can we drop it now?

- Nope, we sure can't.

I guess you guys learned that no phony halloween legend

Is gonna stop this candy-lovin' cow.

- Whatever.

Hey, we're out of soda.

- I think there might be some in the basement.

Be right back.

- Don't be too scared down there, abby.

Hey, aren't freddy and peck back yet?

I want to tell them about how I was brave

And you guys were a bunch of lemon-sucking cowards

Back at the cemetery.

[Resounding clang]

- Hey, what happened to the music?

- Huh? - I don't like the dark.

- Relax, relax. We probably just blew a fuse.

Hey, abby, hit the circuit breaker

While you're down there, would you?

[Abby screams]

And can you bring me up a root beer?

[Abby screams]

No, wait, I changed my mind.

Can you bring me up an orange soda?

[Abby screams]

Actually, you know what? Just bring everything up.

We'll probably use it eventually.

[Abby screams]

I said we'll probably use it eventually.

[Abby screams]

Thank you.

- Otis, she just shrieked in fear.

- She did?

You're right, she did.

- Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. What if it's hockey mask bob?

What if he followed us here to take his revenge

After you stole his candy, and he's down there with abby?

- Calm down, pig; she probably just saw

A spider or something.

You okay down there, abby?

[Abby screams]

- Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

- Otis, I don't like this.

You better go downstairs and check it out.

- Right, right. Go down and check it out.

[Groans]

Huh, it's locked from the inside.

- Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

- Hey, pig, can I talk to you? - Yeah? What is it?

Boing!

- First the lights, then the scream,

Now the locked door.

This has hockey mask bob written all over it.

- There is no hockey mask bob.

Someone get me a shovel. I'm breaking this door open.

- Not me. I'm waiting right here so he doesn't get me.

Ah!

- Oh, no, they got him.

That was hockey mask bob.

Did you see that?

- All right, stay calm. Nobody panic.

- Why not?

- Because I'm gonna panic enough for everyone.

Oh, my gosh, it was really hockey mask bob!

He's really real and he just took abby and pig

And now he's gonna come after the rest of us!

- What? Ahhhh.

- Let's get out of here!

[All shouting]

- Wait! Stop!

We can't just leave. He has abby and pig.

Besides, there's safety in numbers.

- There's more safety in leaving.

- Later.

[Various voices speaking]

- Don't worry, otis. Pip and I will stay with you.

- Yeah, we got your back.

- I can't believe it.

I thought that hockey mask bob

Was just a stupid halloween story.

- Maybe next time, you'll listen to us.

- If there is a next time.

- Now, don't panic.

No hockey-faced, candy-grubbing guy

With a weird name is gonna hurt my friends.

All right, psycho, listen up.

I was the one who stole your precious candy,

So stop snatching my friends and come out and deal with me.

He's probably terrified right now

Because I'm strong and mighty.

- Ah!

- Otis was wrong.

- Piiiiip!

- That's it. I'm wakin' the farmer up.

He'll know what to do.

[Yowling]

- Duuuuke!

Trapped. Frightened. No way out.

- [Echoing] why'd you do it, otis?

- Abby, you're alive?

- No, I'm a ghost.

- Eep.

- Why'd you take bob's candy, otis?

- [Echoing] it was just a stupid contest.

- Pig, oh, pig, I'm so sorry.

- "Sorry" doesn't bring pig back from ghost land.

- You shouldn't have been so greedy.

- You should have listened.

- Why didn't you listen?

- Why? - You never listen.

- Why? - This is all your fault.

- Look what you've done to us.

- Hi, everybody.

- Hilly burford? Why are you haunting my subconscious?

- Subconscious? Man, I got to get a new agent.

- [Echoing] why, otis? - You should've listened.

- This is all your fault.

- Guys, I'm sorry.

You weren't scaredy-cats at all.

You were right, and I was stupid.

I cared more about winning that candy contest

Than I did about having fun with my friends.

[Cell phone rings]

H-hello?

- Look behind you.

[Grunting]

- Ahhhhh!

Hey, look, can we talk about this?

Or we can talk about hockey, 'cause you seem to like that.

Who's your favorite team?

I like whoever you like. They're awesome.

[Clattering]

[Chuckles nervously]

Splat!

Let's sing.

♪ O canada

♪ Blah blah blah please don't hurt me ♪

- Time to...

Laugh in your face.

- Ahhh! Hockey mask used his demon powers

To summon abby's face onto his face.

Ahhh!

- No, it's really me. I just pranked you.

We all did.

- Hey, otis. - How you doin', big guy?

- Did we scare you? - Ahhh!

Hockey mask bob used dark sorcery

To reanimate the bodies of my friends

In a horrible fashion. Ahhhh!

- Ahh! Hockey mask bob is pretending to be the announcer

And making horrifying statements about the passage of time.

Ahhhh!

So let me get this straight.

This whole elaborate prank

Was to teach me a lesson of some sort?

- Pretty much. - That's about the size of it.

- You mean I'm not a ghost?

- Dude, try to keep up.

- But when did you have a chance to plan it?

I was standing here the whole time.

- Well, when you started ragging on us

About being lemon-sucking cowards,

We decided we'd had enough.

- So we knocked you out and started planning our prank.

- First, we made a hockey mask bob costume.

- Then we hung speakers around the barn

To amplify our ghost voices.

- Then we staged a full dress rehearsal of our prank

So the performance would be believable.

- But we had problems with the second act,

So we had to workshop it off-broadway for several months.

- Nooooooooo!

- When reviews came in,

We knew we had a hit on our hands.

So we rushed back to the barn and tried to wake you up.

[Hissing]

- But it didn't work.

So we tried again.

[Hissing]

Still nothing.

[Hissing]

Finally you came to, and we started the prank.

- Then, when you resumed insulting us,

Well, that's when I pretended

To go to the basement and get more soda.

- And then she put on her costume and cut the power.

[Resounding clank]

- Well done, guys.

I couldn't have planned that better myself.

- Yep, we really got you good.

Just one quick question:

Who's that guy?

[Thunder crashes]

All: aaaaaaah!

- Okay, ha-ha, yeah, I get it.

See, now you took it too far.

It's just not believable.

I mean, seriously, who's in there, huh?

Goat? Is it everett? Couple of the sheep? Who?

Why are you guys staring in horror?

I mean, it's not like that guy's really hockey mask bob.

- [Groaning]

- Hide your bodies!

[All screaming]

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

- Ahh!

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

[Heavy breathing]

[Screaming]

- Hiya. Take that. - Eat candy, psycho.

- How do you like that?

There you go.

Take that!

- [Grunting]

- Guys, guys, stop. What are you doing?

- Freddy, peck, get out of the way.

Hockey mask bob's right behind you.

- We know. We invited him here.

- I know. He's totally craze--what?

- Come again? - How's that now?

- You what? - You did?

- Yes, we were waiting out in the vegetable patch

For the great zucchini when bob came up and introduced himself.

- He's a really cool guy.

Say hi to our friends, bob.

- Hi, everybody.

- You mean you are real?

- Uh, I'm standing here, aren't i?

- And you're not here to hurt us?

- Hurt you? No.

Freddy and peck invited me over here

For some games and stuff.

I thought we were just playing monster tag.

- And you never vowed to wreak bloody vengeance

On the town and all those who would do ill upon you?

- Well, yeah, I did that.

All: ahhhh!

- Guys, that was forever ago.

I was going through some stuff.

But now I'm a big boy, and I'm all better.

- Good to know. - Oh, that's a good answer.

- Hold on, hold on.

Why do you wear a hockey mask and a leather apron?

- I wear a hockey mask and a leather apron?

Ahhhhh!

- That's incredibly weird.

Now let's party!

[Cheering]

- I don't know, otis.

Hockey mask bob still creeps me out a bit.

I mean, look at him dance.

♪

- Ah, he's harmless.

Besides, in the morning he'll be gone,

And we'll never see him again.

- So, uh, what do you guys want to do tonight?

- Gee, bob, uh, don't you have somewhere you need to be?

- Nope. Hey, you want to rent a movie?

But not a scary one. I hate those.

When's lunch? Hey, let's have pizza.

What kind of toppings do you like?

I like eyeballs.

Just kidding.

Ah-ha, whoo! I love it here.

I may never leave.

All: ahhhhh!

- Hey, what are you guys screaming about?

Can I scream too?

Ahhhh!

[Dramatic organ chord]



- Oh...

- Mation.

[Children laughing]