I'll be back.
[Truck rumbles]
[Sheep bleating]
- Clear!
[Upbeat hoedown music]
- All right!
♪
- Rat-a-bunga!
- ♪ From the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪
♪ We go on dancing
- Whoo-hoo! Whoa!
Ow, ow! Okay, ow.
Ow!
- ♪ Do si do your partner now ♪
♪
♪ Party till the morning light ♪
♪
♪ Do si do and don't you know ♪
♪ It's just the way we animals roll ♪
[Motor roaring]
- Ha ha!
[Daring circus music]
♪
- Okay, team, the beadys are gone for the weekend,
And operation "fill their house with nougat" is a go.
- Uh, we're out of nougat.
All: pig!
- Okay, backup plans? - Car!
- Car plan, good, but I'm gonna need more details.
- Okay, well, there's a car coming right at us!
[Horn honking]
- Augh! Car!
Hide your bodies!
- Hey, look.
Mrs. Beady got a new hairdo.
- That's not mrs. Beady.
That's snotty boy's dad.
- Ah. Well, he looks stunning.
- It was nice of your aunty nora to let us use her house
In the country for our father-son weekend.
- It was nice of blah blah blah blah blah.
Ugh.
I hate having a clown dad.
It's so embarrassing.
- Oh, lots of kids are embarrassed by their dads
At your age.
So what do you want to do first?
- How 'bout we scrub that stupid makeup off your face,
You stupid clown!
- Clown makeup's the best sunscreen there is.
You'll see when you're a clown one day.
- "You'll see when you're a clown,
Blah-bi blah-bi blah blah."
Never gonna happen!
- Man, what a creep.
His dad's trying so hard,
And his kid completely disrespects him.
I wish there was something we could do.
All: hmm...
- But there isn't.
Let's go home.
- Yup. - We tried.
- Too bad. - Did our best.
- Well, let's drop our stuff off, and--
- Quiet, clown!
I hear something.
It's the stupid barn animals.
Let's get 'em.
Eeyeah! Run!
[Yelling]
[Squeaking]
[Panting]
We should be okay in here,
As long as he doesn't have
One of those heat-seeking rocket laun--
[expl*si*n]
- Now, son,
When I bought you that heat-seeking rocket launcher,
You said you'd use it responsibly.
- Shut it, clownie.
Watch my w*apon
While I make a deposit to the boom-boom bank.
- Right-a-rooney!
Such a spirited boy.
[Sputtering roar]
Crash!
- Don't worry, guys, we're getting out of here.
- Otis, watch where you're going!
- It's not necessary, abby.
You see, tractor driving's all about instincts.
You just have to--
Beep!
What was that?
- Just a clown. Keep driving!
- Dude, that was snotty boy's dad.
- Is he...
- No, he's alive... [Honks nose]
But he's lost a lot of hilarity.
- Otis, we got to get this poor man to a doctor.
- But if they find out we injured him,
We'll be exposed.
- I can fix him.
I watch a lot of doctor shows.
- Works for me.
You guys take him to the barn.
Pip, get my emergency clown disguise.
- I'm on it.
- Ccs of grease paint.
Check the donor list for rubber noses.
Prep the alarm.
I'm going in.
- Otis, are you sure about this?
- Of course.
It's a great opportunity.
Snotty's lousy relationship with his dad
Is what makes him such a little monster.
If I can get him to think his dad is cool,
He won't be consumed with anger
And try to hurt our bodies all the time.
There's my little mister.
- Gross!
You don't always have to say things!
Now, back to business!
- Son, no, wait! Don't do that!
Uh, you have all weekend to torment the barn animals.
How 'bout we do some cool father-son activities instead?
- What, and be seen with you?
No way!
- Come on, your old man's not such a doofus.
How 'bout I take you out for your first driving lesson?
[Horn honking]
[Tires screeching]
Crunch!
- Out of my way, losers!
Ha ha!
Splat!
I'm driving a car
And I don't know how!
- Yes, well, perhaps it would be better if--
- Dad, please!
I'm trying to concentrate. - [Shrieks]
- Help, I bumped a chef!
[Hooting and hollering]
Yay, that was awesome.
You're a way cooler dad than I remember.
What do we do now?
- Well, your cool dad's taking you to
An honest-to-goodness biker cafe,
Where you can have all the nachos you want.
- Nachos, smachos.
I want to see a biker fight!
- Well, that would be fun, but maybe another time--
Sweet god, no!
[Scraping and crunching]
[Growling]
- My cool dad did it.
- Get him!
- [Shrieks]
[Yelling]
- Get 'em, dad!
Hey, bikers, is that all you got?
My dad can take a lot more than that.
- [Screams]
- Whee!
- Yee-haw!
Pretty awesome, huh?
Bet you think your clown dad's totally rad now,
Don't you?
- You know, it's weird, but I do.
Hey, what's this button do?
- No, don't touch that button!
[Hollering]
Crash!
- That was awesome!
- Ow.
- Wow, dad, today was the best day ever.
- That's nice.
My skull's broken.
- I can't wait to see what you have planned
For my birthday party later.
- Birthday pa--whaaa?
- What? You forgot?
But you promised me a party with friends and oil cake.
This is filling me with rage!
Where's my animal-hurting rocket launcher?
- Whoa, whoa, wait!
I didn't forget your party.
In fact, I'm gonna check on the arrangements.
Hello?
Oil cake outlet?
[Whispers] abby, it's me, otis.
- Otis, how's it going with snotty?
- He's getting nicer,
But I need to throw him an awesome birthday party
To really seal the deal.
How's snotty's dad?
- He's still in surgery.
- May I have the donor nose?
Whoopsy!
Hey, get back here!
[Yelling]
- Okay, as soon as they're done,
Send the guys over dressed for a kid's birthday party.
- Birthday party: right!
- And don't skimp on the baloney frosting for my little man.
- Bear hug!
- Ah.
Male narrator: later that day at the birthday party...
- Here new friends, enjoy some delicious birthday lemonade.
- Uh, thanks.
That's really nice of you.
- What's nice is you were all kind enough
To share my special day with me.
- Otis, I don't believe it.
You actually got snotty to act like a normal boy.
- See, I told you my plan would work.
How's snotty's dad doing?
- He's good.
Abby gave him something to help him rest.
He'll be out for hours.
[Snoring circus melody]
♪
- Aw, there's nothing cuter than a sleeping clown.
Sleep it off, funnyman.
- Huh? What the...
Where am i?
I'm late for my boy's birthday party.
- Yup, it just goes to show you, when I put my mind to something,
- Son?
- Milk me.
- Eugene? What's going on?
- What the... Who are...
Something weird's going on here.
Which one of you is my real dad?
- I am! - I am!
- Weell.
Looks like we've got ourselves a clown-undrum.
Beep!
Click!
Click!
Now, how to expose which one of you is the fraud...
- There's only one way to settle a dispute between clowns:
A clown-off.
- No, I don't think...
- I like it!
And we'll have the loser arrested
And exposed for who he really is.
- Oh, that's a great idea.
Clown-off it is.
- Otis, what do you know about clowning?
- Nothing, but it'll buy us time
While you pick the lock on the front door.
- I'm on it.
Narrator: seconds later at the clown-off...
- Balloon cow.
Pop!
- What am i, a three-year-old?
Do something less stupid!
- Say, what's that in your ear, young man?
- Huh?
- Wow. - How did he do that?
- Amazing.
- Lame!
- Why, how did that get in there?
[All gasping]
- Wow. - Cool.
- Okay, other clown.
You better top that, or you'll be exposed as the impostor.
- Okay, professional clown time!
Uh, hey, what's in your ear, kid?
- Okay, that's brain.
That's brain!
- My bad.
- Oh!
- Say, who likes juggling?
Okay, here we go.
And a two, three, four...
♪ Ya da da da da ya da juggling ♪
♪ Ya da da da stuff goes in the air ♪
♪ Ya da da da da da da here it comes ♪
- Oof!
- Ah!
- Bicycle time!
Check it out, I'm catching air!
[Yells]
Crash!
Ta-da!
- That was totally awesome!
I choose you as my dad. - What?
But, son, he's clearly an amateur.
- Your fancy clown words mean nothing to me,
Not-my-dad.
From now on, this cool clown is the only father I know.
- I understand.
I guess there's nothing left
But for me to leave your life forever.
[Squeaking]
- Okay. Bye.
Don't forget to take your lameness with you.
- Otis, I picked the lock. Let's go!
- Right, yes, go.
- [Sobbing]
[Sobbing circus melody]
♪
- Oh, look at him.
- Yeah, I know. It's pathetic.
Now let's get out of here!
- Yeah, but--
- Otis, give it up.
Snotty's dad is never gonna get his son's respect.
The only thing that kid respects is mindless v*olence.
- Mindless v*olence?
That's it!
Hey, spoopy, clowning is stupid!
- [Gasps] what did you say?
- You heard me.
Clowns are creepy and smell like liverwurst.
- How dare you, sir?
- Look at me. I'm a clown.
I wear makeup and doofy clothes and make people happy.
Dur!
- I will not stand here
And allow the art of clowning to be insulted by an amateur.
- "I will not blah blah and allow the blah blah
To be blahed into clown words."
Beep!
[Steam whistle wails]
- He's gonna blow!
- Exactly.
- [Grunts]
[Metallic clanging]
Smell the pretty flower.
Sproing!
Splat!
- [Groans]
- Let me give you a hand.
[Electricity crackling]
Game, set, clown.
- Argh!
- That was awesome!
Now b*at up his stupid friends!
[Yelling]
Dad!
- Son.
Squeak!
- Wow, otis, you did it.
- I sure did.
Never again will snotty boy disrespect his--
- Hey, look!
I got your joy taser.
- Careful, son.
That's a--augh!
- Ha ha ha!
- Ugh.
- Close enough. - Yeah, let's go.
- Whatever. - Moving on.
- Behold!
Neanderthalus bovicanis:
Cave cow.
The most fearsome brute to ever roam the meadows.
Oh, they laughed at me at the learning hutch,
But now I shall have proof of my theories.
- That's awesome, dr. Matt.
Let's party!
- No time, beverly. No time!
We must thaw the beast out and do science things to him.
Deploy hair dryer!
- Hairdryer deployed.
- Live, you magnificent cow beast, live!
So lunch?
- Awesome!
- Mountain I'm about to conquer says what?
[Echoing] what?
What?
What?
[Laughs]
I'm funny.
'Kay, guys,
You ready for some wicked-sick snowboarding action?
- Well, I'm not crazy, so no.
- Otis, this run is too steep.
- I was told there'd be tea and face painting.
- And it's so cold, peck made me swallow him to keep him warm.
- I never asked you to do that.
Ack!
- Shhh.
Go to sleep.
- I don't know, otis.
It doesn't seem safe.
- Oh, really?
It sounds to me like you guys are lame!
[Echoing] lame!
Lame!
Lame!
Peck, helmet me.
- You got it.
- Oof!
Whoa!
- Guys, he's outta control!
We got to help him!
- Right behind you! - Hurry!
- And then face painting, right?
- [Screaming]
Ow!
[Bellowing]
Augh!
Pain!
Crash!
- There he is.
- Otis? He's out cold.
- Wow, that fall really knocked the pretty out of him.
- Yeah, look at the size of the head bump.
- Poor otis.
Help me get him back to the barnyard.
- And that's why I never wear underwear.
True story.
- Dr. Matt, look!
The cave cow is all thawed out.
- Ooh, what a magnificent specimen.
Observe the massive cranial ridge.
- [Groans]
- Did you hear that, beverly?
He's alive!
- Ice...head...pain...
- Hey, those are words.
- He has the power of primitive speech!
He could be the missing link
Between humans and barnyard animals.
- Oof.
Ow.
Eeagh.
- I love his passion.
Quick, help me get him back to the science lab.
- And then we can party!
- [Fierce snoring]
- Yeah, otis has been out an awfully long time.
- That's the way I like him: ugly and unconscious.
- Maybe we should try waking him up.
- I'm a medical professional.
I'll handle this.
Clear!
[Hissing]
- [Grumbling]
Augh!
[Yelling]
[Grunting]
[Panicked yelling]
That knock on the head drove otis loopy.
- We got to find a way to calm him down.
- Peck and I will deal with him.
- Right. Freddy and I will--what?
- [Growling]
Talka talka!
- Otis, stop.
Look, we have a nice banana for you.
- Rargh?
[Sniffs]
- It's working.
Offer him something else, freddy.
- Look, otis, gossipmagazine.
- Rargh?
Rur.
[Chuckles]
- What else do we have that's calm and soothing?
- Well, everyone loves fire.
- [Bellowing]
- He's mad, I tell you, mad!
- Looks like I got to do everything around here.
Clang!
- [Groaning]
- It's okay, otis.
We're gonna help you get better.
Fellas, it'll be a long difficult healing process,
But otis is our friend,
And he has to know that we're here for h--
I'm a pretty ballerina.
- [Satisfied humming]
- ♪ Whoa, cave cow
♪ You're the one
♪ Who can help me see the light ♪
♪ You're a wild dreamer
♪ A stone-age man with a massive overbite ♪
♪ Oh, cave cow
♪ Yeah, cave cow
- Me: human.
You: cave cow.
Cave...cow.
Speak, speak!
Why won't you speak again?
- Oh, he's shy.
By the way, I need wednesday off.
- [Thinking] careful, otis. These guys are crazy.
Just play dumb and everyone gets out alive.
- It's no use.
I guess we bought all these tasty reward treats for nothing.
- Treats? We love treats!
Say some words quick!
Quiet, stomach, that'll get us exposed.
Oh, exposed. I'm so scared.
Take the stupid treat!
Oh, all right, but we do it my way.
[Growls]
Me cave cow.
Me want treat.
- Ha ha ha!
He speaks!
Quick, beverly, give him a treat.
- Here you go, cave cow.
- [Gobbling]
Treat good!
- Keep talking, you glorious brute!
- [Growls]
Me want large grape soda pop!
- I thought you might.
Here.
- [Slurps]
Me also want side of nachos.
- Here.
- Ooh, and sports bloopers on glowing picture box.
- You got it, big guy.
I'm going to be famous!
- [Gobbling]
- I told you this was a good idea.
Now let's talk about your stock portfolio.
- What's otis doing?
- I think he wants to play "name that picture."
Is it a movie? - [Grunts]
- One syllable? - A clam for sister susan?
- Gone with the yogurt?
- Sunday in the park with fester?
- [Growls]
- Guys, please, you're upsetting otis.
You're gonna set his recovery back.
- I don't think he's getting any better.
- Why, sure he is.
Since his accident, otis has been a new cow.
He's exciting, spontaneous, and unaf--
Would you stop doing that?
- Guys, the farmer!
He's back from his lodge convention.
- Bye, fellas.
[Wolf howl]
- [Howling]
- [Gasps]
- [Makes wolf call]
Aw, great guys.
- [Growls excitedly]
[Grinding]
[Excited grunting]
- Dude, what are you doing?
Splat!
- ♪ Doo de doo, doo de doo
♪ Doo de doo
- [Grunts]
[Bellows]
- [Shrieks]
- [Snarling]
[Grunting and smacking]
- [Cheering and laughing]
Football man break ankle!
[Grumbles]
Need refill.
- Of course, my primitive friend,
But first I need more data.
Tell me all about yourself.
- Oh, um...
[Beeping computer sounds]
Uh, well, many moons me live in cave.
- Really?
- Then, um-- - uh-huh?
- Me reach awkward age-- - ooh.
- And start high school.
- Fascinating.
And at this "high school,"
Did you ever encounter this?
- No.
- That's weird, doctor.
I thought donkeysaurus reptilicanus
Was the cave cow's only natural enemy.
- Oh, then, [growls], fear, whatever.
Can cave cow have more pizza?
- Get me more pizza, beverly.
We've got to keep the beast talking.
Do you want anchovies?
- [Panicked growl]
Man, this is sweet.
I got to tell pip about this.
- [Shrieking] - [snarling]
- Otis, stop! - Get him!
[Cell phone ringing]
- 'Sup?
- Pip, buddy, I have stumbled onto the sweetest scam.
Quick, disguise yourself as a prehistoric cave mouse
And get down here fast.
- Otis, how can you be there
When you're trying to hunt the farmer?
- Sha-huh?
- [Panting] - [growling]
- Sweet cud!
Those science guys must have mistaken me for that guy!
I got to save the farmer,
But can I leave all this sweet free stuff?
- Cave cow, beverly had a great idea.
Instead of all this time-consuming talking,
We're just going to extract your brain.
- Okay, then.
[Screams] oof!
Bye!
Cave cow like brain. Want keep.
Later!
- Cave cow, stop!
Come back here at once!
- [Panting] - [bellowing]
- Oof! Ugh.
- Stop right there, cave cow.
- Huh?
- Huh? - There are two of 'em?
- What in the world? - I'm seeing double.
- Guys, that's the real otis.
The other guy's some kind of prehistoric cave cow.
- Man friend.
You go now.
[Growls]
- [Growls]
[Growling]
- Whoa!
Oh!
Ugh.
- Otis, are you okay?
- Never mind me.
We got stop that cave cow
Before he eats the farmer.
But how? How?
You idiot.
Don't you remember that donkey dinosaur thing?
Beverly said it was the cave cow's only natural enemy.
Thanks, stomach. You've done it again.
Come on, guys, we got a donkey dinosaur to build!
- Boy, that was weird.
Wasn't it, stomach?
Yeah, whatever.
Put food in me!
- [Grunting]
- Huh?
What's going on?
- [Slurps]
- [Shrieks]
- [Chuckles menacingly]
[Slurps]
- [Donkey braying]
- [Panicked yelp]
- [Donkey braying]
- [Panicked yelling]
- [Laughs]
Woo-hoo! Hey, you.
- You did it, otis.
You saved the farmer. - That's our otis.
But how did you know that that donkey dinosaur monster thing
Was the cave cow's natural enemy?
- Ho-ho, let's just say I had a gut feeling.
[Laughs]
You're an idiot.
- Poor cave cow,
Lost and alone in a strange new world.
I wonder what'll become of him?
- He's a survivor, abigail.
He'll find a way to carve out a life for himself.
- And if elected to the senate, I promise sweeping tax cuts,
Health care reform, and a total ban on fire.
[Cheering]
- I hate fire. - Let's party!
- That's why I never underwear.