- Nice, very nice, but...
- But what?
The price.
Oh, please, madam.
The price is never a problem.
I'm sure we'll be able
to agree on a price.
Here I am!
Satisfied with the repairs,
Attorney?
Yes, but it was really nothing.
The carburetor was just clogged.
- Ah, I see.
- Does it work now, at least?
Of course it works.
The engine is perfect.
Believe me. They don't make engines
like this anymore.
Oh, I believe it.
No problems, never any trouble.
This is the first work I've had done.
And there was nothing to fix.
Just some dust, a clogged carburetor.
But now it really works perfectly.
Listen to that engine.
Have you ever heard such a quiet engine?
Listen, you can barely hear it!
- It's as if it were turned off.
- It is turned off.
- Ah, well.
- You know, Attorney,
you could really do with a car
that can go I20 km an hour.
With a lot of pickup,
hydraulic brakes, overhead valves...
Oh, please! What do I need
overhead valves for? I'm not Nuvolari!
It's useless to argue, sir.
We were born with this car,
- and we'll die with this car.
- Let's hope not!
No, the lady was just joking!
I'm not in the joking mood.
Shall we?
Yes, let's go.
- Have a seat, madam.
- Thank you.
Anything for you, madam.
With all due respect, Attorney!
Thank you.
Thanks again.
You keep driving around
in this shabby doohickey.
Children will be running after us
in the street before long.
- But its engine is so good!
- Stop talking about its engine!
That's enough! I don't want to see
this car anymore. It's me or the car.
- Careful! You almost ran over the cop!
- No. I have to drive around him!
- Why do you have to drive around him?
- It's the law.
Right, the law!
Listen, I'm good, I'm patient,
but there comes a time when a woman...
- I'm sorry, Luisa.
- Enough. You're obsessed.
You spend a ton on useless things,
but when you get fixated on something,
like on this car,
or on the furniture in your study,
or on the boiler...
Speaking of which,
I don't want to see that boiler anymore.
It's too dangerous,
it could explode at a moment's notice.
It won't explode! It makes some noise,
because they forget to turn off the gas.
Watch out, you can't go there!
Go! Why are you stopping?
Can't you see he's telling you to go?
Stop!
Can't you see you've stopped on the line?
Now we'll get a ticket.
Move back before he sees you.
- Stop! There's a bus behind you!
- Listen, Luisa, just let me drive.
You're making me nervous!
If you want to ram into the bus,
be my guest.
I'm not ramming into anything.
I've been driving for ten years,
- and I've never...
- Go! They're telling us to go.
We'll be here all day.
- Stop!
- Why?
- Stop, stay back.
- Why? I don't understand.
Because there's that witch Marcella
with her new car.
I don't want her to see me.
- Oh, look, it's Luisa.
- Luisa! Hi, Luisa!
Goodbye, darling. Are you happy now?
They're laughing behind our backs.
- Come on, move. Let's get going!
- Where?
What do you mean, where? Home!
Do you really find this car
so ugly?
- Well...
- "Well"! What does "well" mean?
I mean, it's not modern, but they just
don't make engines like that anymore.
By the way,
be careful with the boiler.
Don't ever turn on the gas
before you light a match,
and turn on the water before
you light it. It's not that hard!
First the match,
then the water, then the gas.
- Did anyone phone?
- No, sir.
The typist is here.
She's already in your study.
Good.
- What, are you leaving?
- I been waiting for you until now.
Right, until now!
Come on, take off your jacket.
- Will it take long?
- No!
- Where's the Ravelli file?
- It's there.
- There, where?
- There, on the left.
Ah, right! Here it is.
So, write...
It's awful! It's awful!
It has to be completely redone!
I told her, but she just doesn't get it!
This is the last time
I go to this tailor.
Look! It all has to be taken in.
And this neckline is awful!
"The brashness of the statements
and the inconsistent reasoning
used by the opposing party,” comma...
comma... just one.
"... will most certainly become apparent
to you, Your Honor.”
We have to send it back it immediately.
No, wait, telephone her.
- I want to speak to her myself.
- Yes, madam.
- Where are you going?
- To the Attorney.
To pass the line to this device.
Of course! He has to do it.
I'm not allowed to telephone
how and when I wish.
He has to pass the line
to this device.
Forget about it.
I won't telephone anymore.
"Comma..." No, no comma.
"... which will allow...”
now a comma...
"... with your wisdom..."
Hello? Yes?
This is the home of Attorney Malpieri.
- They're looking for the lady.
- Pass her the line.
- Hello?
- Is Mrs Malpieri there?
- Yes, madam.
- Who is it?
- A woman.
- Give me that. Go run me a bath.
- Hello, who is it?
- Marcella.
Ah, it's you.
How are you, darling?
Are you angry with me?
No. Why should I be angry?
I don't know, but I got that impression.
You were so cold towards me.
What was I supposed to do?
Jump out of the car?
Talk, darling, hurry up.
I'm in a rush.
I wanted some advice.
You have such good taste.
My husband was thinking of
exchanging our Artena for a Stura.
But I'd prefer an Alfetta.
What can I say? Get an Alfa.
That snake!
Oh, my God! The gas!
The boiler! Adele!
What's happened?
Are you alright? Are you hurt?
- No, madam.
- Tell me if you're hurt!
Poor thing. Oh, what a fright!
You're so pale. Do you want some cognac?
- No, madam. It's nothing.
- What do you mean, nothing?
The house was about to burn down.
Are you waiting for the house to explode?
That's enough. It's me, or the boiler!
It's me, or the boiler!
It's me, or the boiler!
- What happened?
- Nothing!
The boiler made a little noise,
and you know how the lady is...
She was upset...
- Oh, goodness!
- What's going on?
The lady!
Luisa!
Luisa!
Luisa! Wait a moment.
Open up, please!
- What's going on?
- I don't know. I don't understand.
The ceramic vase.
She appeared outside my study,
she started screaming, and she ran away.
The bathroom mirror!
The vis-a-vis!
My God, she's breaking everything!
Luisa! Luisa!
Now what's she doing?
Luisa...
Luisa.
Luisa!
Luisa!
Why isn't she answering?
She must be hurt. Luisa!
Oh, my God,
what can she have done?
Oh, goodness!
Madam! Madam!
- The gas!
- Oh, dear! The gas!
Luisa!
Luisa!
Luisa!
Goodness, we have to do something.
Open it, break it down! Luisa!
- Go on, move!
- What are we supposed to do?
A hammer, some tools... Quickly!
Go get something. Hurry!
- Francesco.
- Yes, madam?
- Who is that man?
- What man?
Him.
Who is he,
what is he doing here?
If he's looking for the Attorney,
he's in his study.
I don't want
strangers wandering about the house.
- But madam...
- Go on, send him away.
Madam...
- What did she say?
- She asked who that man was.
- What man?
- You.
- Me?
- Yes.
- She asked who I was?
- Yes.
- How is that possible?
- I don't know.
- Francesco!
- Yes, madam?
I told you to take the gentleman
to the study. What are you waiting for?
Yes, madam.
- Do you want to speak with the Attorney?
- No.
- Who are you? What do you want?
- Who am I? What do I want?
Francesco, what has become of this house?
People just come and go as they please.
Preposterous. If he's a client
of my husband's, accompany him there.
If he's someone who needs help,
give him some spare change.
Some spare change?
- Luisa. My dear Luisa...
- Luisa?
How dare you?
That's enough! Francesco!
- Francesco!
- Yes, madam?
- Is my husband in there?
- No. Yes. I don't know.
- But I'm your husband!
- Stop! Enough of this!
If this is a joke,
I can assure you it is in bad taste.
Call my husband and make him
send this man away.
You see? She doesn't recognise me.
She doesn't recognise me anymore.
- Has she gone mad?
- I'm afraid so.
Oh, God! We must do something,
call a doctor!
And keep an eye on her!
Tell Adele not to take her eyes off her.
You, phone...
No, you watch over her, too. I'll phone.
Rosina! The lady of the house!
She's gone mad!
Adele! Quickly,
go keep watch over the lady.
- Me?
- Yes, don't take your eyes off her!
Don't let her touch anything sharp.
Scissors, pencil sharpeners, nail files.
Doctors, doctors, doctors...
- What are you still doing here?
- Nothing, I'm waiting.
- Do me a favour, go home.
- Fine, I'm leaving.
Doctors, doctors...
Room 52, an injection every three hours.
Room 75, nothing.
He's absolutely fine.
- Room 25...
- Professor?
- What is it?
- An urgent phone call.
Room 25, constant surveillance.
That's important.
Hello? Yes, yes. Tell me.
Ah, alright.
Yes, fine.
Write this down, please.
Via Cairoli, 22. Attorney Malpieri.
Yes, don't worry. Take care.
We'll have to send somebody.
I can't go.
Who's free? Fabrizi is out. Rossi, no.
Who's on duty today?
- Frattini, but he had to go...
- Ah, right. Fine.
Then send... Spinelli.
Go to Via Cairoli, 22,
Attorney Malpieri.
- It's an urgent case. Keep me informed.
- Certainly, sir.
- Professor Spinelli?
- At your service.
- Attorney Malpieri. Come in, Professor.
- Pleased to meet you.
Something terrible has happened,
Professor. My wife has gone mad.
- Ah, fine.
- She just went mad, all of a sudden.
Just think...
I'll take that, Professor.
Please, have a seat.
- So, as I was saying, just think...
- Just a moment, please.
One thing at a time.
- The patient's name?
- Luisa Malpieri.
- Age?
- 25, last November.
Profession?
Housewife.
- Married, right?
- Yes. With me.
- Children?
- No, none.
- Why not?
- Oh, I don't know.
Has she ever had a nervous breakdown,
frequent migraines?
Psychotic depression, epilepsy?
No. She's perfectly calm,
strong, healthy.
Good. Alcohol abuse?
- Me?
- No, the lady.
- No, she doesn't drink.
- No alcohol.
Has she ever shown mental abnormality,
mood swings, incoherence,
irritability, melancholy,
unexplained crying, hilarity?
No? Very well.
Do dementia, feeble-mindedness,
retardation run in her family?
- Not that I know of.
- Very well.
Nervous breakdowns, no.
Epilepsy, no. Excellent.
Now tell me what happened,
in extreme detail.
Professor, here's what happened.
I was here, dictating a letter
to my typist,
when suddenly the door opened
and my wife came in.
She looked at me,
started screaming, and ran away.
- But it gets worse, Professor.
- How so?
She doesn't recognise me anymore.
Ah. As if she's never seen me before.
When I tell her I'm her husband,
she gets angry and sends me away.
- Very well.
- Not very well at all!
- Of course. Does she recognise anyone?
- Yes, she recognizes everyone else.
- It's just me she doesn't recognise.
- I understand. Partial amnesia.
Physiognomic omission,
to be exact.
- Is it serious?
- No, it's nothing serious.
- Just a little memory loss.
- A little? She's forgotten her husband!
Don't worry, she'll get it back.
It's quite common.
Think of the human brain
as a switchboard,
where thousands of phone lines end up.
Like this.
Now imagine
that one of these wires breaks.
Silence.
Darkness. Somebody,
or something, is gone.
- As if it never existed.
- Sol..
To your wife's brain,
it's as if you no longer exist.
The wire is broken.
A switchboard. The phone line is down.
- Oh, goodness, a short circuit!
- No! The Attorney's phone line.
The lady's switchboard. There are
thousands of wires. And one is broken.
It's become dark,
the Attorney is gone.
- Oh, goodness!
- I can't stay here.
Rosina.
Give me a pair of scissors.
Not the small ones,
the big ones.
Francesco...
Shall we?
Luckily these things are temporary.
The line suddenly comes back.
- But what do we do in the meantime?
- Nothing.
Just wait, and most importantly,
agree with everything the patient says.
Don't ever contradict her.
But what if my wife continues
not to recognise me?
- Don't push her to recognise you.
- And if she doesn't want to see me?
- If she sends me away?
- Leave, don't let her see you.
And where am I supposed to go?
- Who is my husband speaking with?
- Ah, so...
What do you mean “ah, so"? I asked you
who my husband is speaking with.
I don't know. A friend, a client.
I'll go see.
- Attorney!
- Oh goodness, what is it?
- The lady recognised you.
- She recognised me?
She recognised you! She asked me:
"Who is my husband speaking with?"
Paolo!
You're back. Why didn't you tell me
you were going out?
You were out all morning,
and you didn't even phone.
- Where have you been?
- Me?
I don't know, actually.
You don't know? Why are you stuttering?
Why are you looking at me like that?
- Has something happened to you?
- No, no.
You're strange today.
Ah, you know who's ill?
- Who?
- Michele.
- Poor thing.
- He's very tired, he's not eating.
Come have a look. I wanted to call
the doctor. I thought it was nothing,
but now I'm starting to worry.
We should call him, shouldn't we?
- I don't know. Let's call him.
- Poor Michele. There he is.
Michele! Poor Michele!
He looks so despondent!
You pet him, too.
Strange!
- It's as if he doesn't recognise you.
- Very strange, yes.
I want to try to feed him.
Let's go, Michele. Come on.
Come on, now.
Extraordinary. Extraordinary!
My dear man,
this is not just common amnesia,
it's much better!
Your wife is suffering
from physiognomic epistasis!
- What's that?
- Epistasis! Physiognomic epistasis.
Mixing people up.
The most interesting phenomenon
a scientist could hope to encounter.
Just think, your wife could help us
make strides
in neuropathological progress.
I'm not interested in neuropathology!
I want to know what's wrong with my wife.
Nothing serious, you needn't worry.
So, that broken wire...
Broken wire! Everything's broken here!
Don't you see,
now she thinks you're her husband?
That's what's so great about it!
The broken wire touches another wire,
and creates the wrong contact.
- So, what do we have to do?
- Nothing.
- Wait, and humor the patient.
- Humor her how?
- Michele is eating.
- Ah, wonderful.
- Who is that man?
- Who?
Him? A friend of mine.
A good friend of mine. Right?
- What?
- We're friends, right?
I was just telling her
that we've been friends for a long time.
Avery long time.
We went to school together.
Ah. Nice to meet you.
- Watch out, that guy's crazy!
- Crazy?
Yes! While you were out,
he came here three times,
- saying he was my husband.
- No!
He's stubborn. Three times,
then I told Francesco to throw him out.
- I'm telling you, he's absolutely mad!
- No, he must have been kidding.
- You were kidding, right?
- What?
When you said you were her husband.
He's always making jokes.
- He likes to joke around.
- Is that so?
- Did you make up this little game?
- Yes. And it's always turned out well.
Then, of course,
in the end I explain everything and...
- People must laugh so hard!
- Ah, yes.
- I can only imagine!
- Right.
- Go on, take off your jacket.
- My jacket? Why?
What do you mean, why?
Do you want to ruin this suit, too?
He ruins them all,
with that terrible habit he has
- of keeping his hands in his pockets.
- Wouldn't it be better to wait?
- Wait for what?
- I might need to go out.
Go out? But it's lunchtime.
Come on, hurry. Take off your jacket.
- Go on, now.
- Mr Ravelli is on the phone.
- Ravelli? Who is Ravelli?
- How should I know?
- Ah, Ravelli... Ravelli is for me.
- For you?
Yes. Since I knew I was coming here,
I gave him your phone number.
- What?
- Please forgive me. Excuse me.
Does he think our house is a hotel?
He tells people to phone him here!
- Well, he's a friend.
- A friend? He's rude, is what he is!
- I hope he doesn't plan to... What are you doing?
- Nothing.
- ...to stay for lunch.
- Yes, of course.
- He's awful! Send him away.
- I can't, he's a friend.
Here I am.
I hope you will stay for lunch.
Thank you.
- Excuse me.
- Certainly.
How awful!
- Now what?
- Nothing. There's nothing we can do.
We have to humor her. After all,
the lady seems quite calm to me.
If something new happens,
give me a call.
I'll come back this evening, in any case.
- What? You want to leave?
- I have to get back to the clinic.
No, Professor. No!
You can't leave me like this.
Please try to understand, sir.
Forget about it. Right now,
if you leave,
what am I supposed to say to her?
Besides which,
if you eat here or elsewhere...
What a pig. He's come by at lunchtime,
so that we'll ask him to stay.
I do hope our modest lunch
will suit you.
Of course it will.
Especially since I'm particularly hungry.
- Hungry?
- Yes.
- What's wrong?
- Well, I have to tell you something.
- What?
- You see... I'm on a diet.
Since you have to... You see,
since I suffer from forunculosis...
A special diet. I only eat vegetables.
Would you like a drink?
- Yes, please.
- Yes.
Three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten.
- What's this?
- What do you mean? Your usual medicine.
You're like a child!
Drink up! Go on.
You want vermouth, huh?
No, it's bad for you.
Do you remember how terrible
it was last time?
All he needs is a drop of liquor
to burst out in boils all over.
- What's wrong? Look here. Better?
- Yes.
- Would you like some more?
- No, thank you.
Excuse me for not being more welcoming,
but I did not realise...
And you came by just when...
I was quite upset!
- Upset? Why?
- Honestly?
He hasn't seen our car, has he?
You should have a look.
It's an antique, a relic!
It should be in a museum! Come see.
Look! There it is.
The one that looks like a lorry.
It's not a lorry, you know?
That's our car.
- Do you see it?
- Yes, I see it.
- What do you think?
- It's not bad!
You know nothing about cars!
Are you married?
- Yes. No.
- Well, if you had a wife,
and you knew she was unhappy
because of such an old, ugly car,
what would you do?
Go on, tell me.
- If the engine was still good, I'd...
- Would you like some advice?
Don't get married. You'd turn
a poor woman into a wretch like me.
Come now, you mustn't get so upset
over something so insignificant!
Insignificant?
We have to find a solution, you know.
If you care so much about the car,
then I'll leave.
- I don't care about it at all.
- No?
- No! If you want to get rid of it...
- Get rid of it?
- And you'll get a new one?
- If that will make you happy, dear.
The one we saw this morning,
with the radio?
- Sure, we'll buy that one.
- Hey, what's wrong with you?
What's wrong is that it's nonsense!
You want to throw money out the window.
- What do you have to do with it?
- Me?
- Yes, you. Did we ask for your opinion?
- No, but I mean, 40,000 lire...
Is it your money? Do me a favour
and mind your own business.
I'm going to phone them
and tell them to send it straight away.
Don't look so angry! Smile!
Smile?
40,000 lire! Are you kidding?
Sir, I'm a scientist,
I cure people with dementia.
I can't be bothered
with this financial quibble.
Besides, I told you.
We have to humor her.
Fine! We'll humor her.
But 40,000 lire...
40,000 lire...
Smile!
Smile? You're obsessed
with making me smile.
Goodness! 40,000 lire! 40,000 lire...
Good Lord! Don't you look
when you drive up to someone's house?
- I didn't know you were coming out!
- You didn't know? This is a gate!
- It's a gate!
- So what?
Luisa!
- Who is it? Who's that?
- You're asking me?
Oh, what a fright you've given me!
Forgive me, dear Auntie,
but I wasn't expecting you.
Why have you just turned up,
without sending a telegram?
I wanted to surprise you.
I arrived in Genoa yesterday.
- This is Evelina. Don't you remember?
- Goodness, how she's grown!
What a pretty young lady!
- Where is your husband, that rascal?
- There he is!
Paolo! Paolo! Paolo!
Oh, darling, come here,
give me a hug!
Darling! Just like I'd imagined you!
Young, smart, handsome...
- But I...
- I'm Aunt Clotilde!
Ah, right! Aunt Clotilde.
I'm sorry I didn't recognise you.
How could you recognise me?
You've never seen me before!
- Ah, true!
- What a joker!
I have to give you another kiss,
you know? Ah, yes.
You don't know my little Evelina,
either, do you? Evelina!
Darling, this is Paolo,
Luisa's husband!
- How are you?
- Fine, thank you. And you?
Go on, don't be shy!
You're cousins! Give each other a kiss!
Fine, I'll give her a kiss.
- Did you have a nice trip, Auntie?
- Ah, what a trip!
It was wonderful! The Alps, the Riviera,
the leaning tower... the cowboys!
What nice people!
Beautiful eyes, proud faces!
- Who is this gentleman?
- Who?
- The gentleman.
- What's your name?
- Spinelli! Mr Spinelli, my aunt.
- Pleased to meet you.
Pleased to meet you.
This is my daughter, Evelina.
- It's a pleasure.
- Auntie, come freshen up...
- Ah, yes. Don't go away though!
- I'm not going anywhere.
- Excuse me.
- Let's go, Auntie.
I'll give you a room near my own.
- Is that gentleman married?
- Who? Spinelli? No, no. Let's go.
- Just what we needed, an aunt.
- Where does she come from?
I have no idea.
Sorry, is she her aunt or isn't she?
I don't know. It must be Luisa's aunt,
the one who lives abroad, the writer.
Listen, Attorney, I think
we should take that poor woman aside
and explain everything to her.
Oh, no! If she finds out
my wife's gone mad,
she'll tell everyone,
she'll write a book about it.
- I mean, I have to get going.
- Already?
I have to, Attorney.
I have my clinic, my patients.
I mean, now that her aunt's here,
her husband leaves, his friend stays...
- What would that look like?
- I would love to stay.
- Your wife is very kind, polite...
- Really?
- ...and so are you.
- Oh, goodness...
But I can't stay here forever.
No, Attorney. I have to go.
Paolo!
Excellent!
- Darling!
- You're too kind.
What a zest for life!
She's really a wonderful woman.
- Who? The aunt?
- No, your wife. Truly wonderful.
- Really?
- Yes. And she plays wonderfully!
- An excellent pianist.
- Paolo?
Aren't you happy?
I've played all your favourite songs.
- Thank you.
- He goes crazy for these songs.
- Let me be, please.
- Why?
Because it's not right.
Not at all. It's marvelous.
W's so lovely to see
2 husband and wife so much in love!
What's not right?
Give me that. What's not right?
- See what a lovely couple?
- I see them, I see them.
- No!
- Yes!
- No.
- Yes.
- Aren't they just lovely?
- Adorable.
What are you waiting for to get married?
Evelina!
- Mum?
- Why are you hiding?
Come here to mummy, darling.
Believe me,
nothing brings happiness like marriage!
What satisfaction marriage gives...
Listen, don't talk badly about marriage.
What do you know, anyway?
- Take a wife, and then we'll see.
- Yes, take a wife!
Ah, Auntie, I wanted to tell you...
Take a wife... Take a wife...
Goodbye!
- Where are those two going?
- They're going out!
- To look at the moon. Leave them alone.
- To look at the moon? Let's go, too.
Why are they in such a hurry?
Leave them be.
Maybe they want to be alone.
- I mean, they're in love.
- Right.
- Faster.
- But we'll lose the others.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Where have they ended up?
If you had a wife yourself,
you would do the same.
If I had a wife! God forbid.
- What's happened?
- Who knows! The engine's stalled.
Be lively, cheerful. Talk, smile!
You have a lovely smile, show it to him!
But he's not even looking at me.
What's happened?
It could be anything,
with this old piece of junk.
- Come on, get out. Go help him!
- But I know nothing about cars.
Just pretend! Go on, darling.
Please be patient, Miss,
or this isn't going to end well.
Okay, let's see if it works now.
Get in, Miss.
Doesn't she seem a bit too excited
to you, Professor?
Humor her. Humor her.
Have a dance with my Evelina.
- Are we already here?
- Yes, we're already here.
- Where are they? What are they doing?
- Well...
- Excellent, bravo!
- Oh, you were here!
- Yes, we were here. We were here.
- So now what?
What do you want to do? It's midnight.
Aren't we going to go to bed?
- Yes, Auntie. You must be tired.
- Oh, don't worry about me!
It was lovely to meet you.
We're going to see the ruins
in Ostia tomorrow.
- Great idea.
- Evelina, say goodbye to the gentleman.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Good night.
Evelina.
- Wave goodbye. Smile.
- But he's not looking at me.
It doesn't matter! Smile anyway.
Good night!
See you tomorrow!
Attorney, come here!
I know!
Ah, thank goodness!
- Paolo, your friend is in love!
- In love?
- He's head over heels in love!
- With whom?
- With my little Evelina.
- No!
- Yes! I can assure you.
- That's dreadful!
- Dreadful?
- No...
I mean, it was dreadfully quick...
Listen, Auntie...
I don't mean to advise you,
but if I were you, I would give it a try.
The lady must be asleep by now.
The room is dark.
You tiptoe in,
go over to the bed, shake her,
and say: "Luisa"!
The lady will wake up, startled,
and I'll bet you anything
she'll call you "Paolo"!
What do you expect her to call me?
John?
I haven't explained myself well.
You tiptoe in...
- You can't be thinking about marriage?
- Naturally!
- Why not? Is he not a fine young man?
- Oh, he's wonderful, actually.
- But I don't think he plans to...
- He doesn't want to take a wife?
Yes, exactly.
He doesn't want to take a wife.
- So what does he want to be? A parasite?
- A parasite?
A parasite, yes! If you ask me,
bachelors are parasites, useless beings!
- Dead weights.
- Dead weights?
Dead weights, yes.
I have radical ideas about this.
- I would get rid of all bachelors.
- Poor things.
And make marriage by 25 required by law,
like vaccinations.
You scoundrel! You scum!
You scum! Help!
That friend of yours, he's despicable!
He came into my room.
- What?
- Yes, I opened my eyes
and I saw him next to my bed.
There he is!
You scum! You satyr! You pig!
Send him away! And make sure
he never sets foot in this house again!
No, Luisa. There must be a mistake.
- No mistake! Get out!
- Yes, she's right. Get out!
Just a moment.
Please let me explain.
- There's nothing to explain!
- There's nothing to explain!
- You should be ashamed of yourself!
- You should be ashamed of yourself!
- You should be ashamed!
- No, but...
- You should be ashamed!
- It's just... Because...
- But...
- What were you thinking?
- I wanted to try an experiment.
- An experiment?
- You scum!
- Get out!
Believe me, darling,
maybe he went into the wrong room.
The wrong room? He turned on the light,
he took my wrist, and he said: "Luisa"!
- Really?
- Then he looked at me with this stupid smile,
- whispering: "It's me”.
- Mum!
Here I am, darling. Please,
don't tell my daughter anything!
Ah, what a character!
What a character that young man has!
- There! I've sent him away.
- That was the least you could do.
- I yelled at him and I hit him, too.
- Ah. Do you think that's enough?
You should have k*lled him,
if you're a man. k*lled him.
Well, we mustn't go too far.
Go too far?
If I think about how you used to be,
when you truly loved me...
- You were as possessive as Othello.
- I still am.
- But, you know, one has to reason.
- Right, reason...
You weren't reasoning in Sanremo,
during our honeymoon.
Do you remember?
That tall, strong Dutchman.
You att*cked him
and started b*ating him up!
- Never mind that.
- He really did you in, poor thing.
You were all black and blue afterwards.
What are you doing?
Don't you have anything to say?
- Yes, you're perfectly right.
- What?
No, I was just saying.
What's so funny?
Nothing.
Just a thought.
Give me a cigarette.
No, no. I'll light it from yours.
Don't you think
you should go to bed?
Are you tired?
Don't you want to stay up with me?
- Do you mind?
- No, of course not.
I'm so sorry, Attorney.
Did you really tiptoe in?
It's strange how husband and wife
never have anything to say to each other.
What? Nothing to say to each other?
Never a conversation,
just for the sake of talking.
- To say something sweet to each other.
- Never?
And if they're together for 5 minutes,
she yawns, and he reads the newspaper.
And if there is no newspaper,
they just look at each other.
- Strange!
- Even if they love each other.
Because they have nothing to say.
Why are you so surprised?
- I mean, it's four years for you, too...
- Ah, yes. That's true.
- I mean, it's a disgrace.
- A disgrace?
Why, yes!
How can one read the newspaper
when he is lucky enough
to have such a pretty,
sweet, intelligent wife.
I, for instance, would try to work
as little as possible, to be together,
to talk and hear you talk,
to tell you lots of nice things and...
- whatever comes to mind.
- It would be nice to live like lovers.
- Like lovers, precisely.
- So why don't you do it?
Why not?
- Because...
- You would have something to tell me.
Wouldn't you?
- Yes.
- Yes.
So why don't you tell me?
Yes. Lots of things.
Professor!
You're still here?
- You're still here?
- How is she?
- Bad! It's very serious!
- Serious?
- Yes!
- So, Professor, what can we do?
How should I know?
I don't know. I don't know!
What do you mean, you don't know?
Are you a doctor or aren't you?
Well, yes, but this is a new case.
I've never seen anything like it.
Professor, should I try again?
- Maybe this time...
- Come on, now!
Why should you try again?
To get kicked out again?
- So she kicks me out again!
- No, no.
Plus, how would I look?
My friends go into my wife's room!
- Your wife!?
- Yeah, well... it still bothers me!
Come here!
Hello?
Oh, good morning, Professor.
What are you doing?
What are you doing in that house?
You haven't come in, you haven't phoned.
Have you moved in by chance?
I was forced to stay here.
The case is not very clear,
but very interesting. Epistasis,
Professor. Physiognomic epistasis.
Oh, come on, now! Stop talking nonsense.
You're all the same.
The first case you see
seems fascinating to you,
as if you're the first one to see it.
Come on, hurry up.
Don't waste any more time.
Certainly, I'll be right there.
I'll be right there. Goodbye.
- Wake up!
- Ah, Professor! Any news?
- Yes, I'm leaving!
- You're leaving?
Yes, right now.
As for your wife's illness,
- you should turn to someone else.
- What?
Yes, I'm sick of it.
It's a question of conscience for me.
Everyone makes mistakes. But there are
other illustrious psychiatrists.
- What? You don't want to...
- No, and please let it be.
Your wife's illness has to follow
its natural course.
- I have my clinic, my patients...
- Such an interesting illness!
Interesting? Oh, please!
You're all the same!
When someone has an illness
in the family they find it fascinating,
as if they're the first one
to experience it.
- Come in!
- Come in!
- Breakfast.
- Oh, wonderful. My wife?
- She asked where you were.
- Me?
Yes, I mean, no. I don't know.
Her husband, but I don't know which one.
- Where is she?
- In her room. She's ready to get up.
I have to hide. Come, Adele.
Tell Rosa and Francesco, too.
Whoever sees my wife come out first,
give me a signal,
- 50 I know which way she's coming from.
- What kind of a signal?
- I don't know. Sing!
- Sing what?
Whatever you want!
Professor,
what were you thinking last night?
It was a mistake. I'll explain later.
I'll be right back.
- Good morning, Attorney.
- Attorney! Go over there.
- Over where?
- To the study. The Attorney's study.
- Excuse me, are you the Attorney?
- No.
- So what did the Attorney mean, then?
- Which Attorney?
- The Attorney.
- Ah, the Attorney.
The Attorney told you...
Sorry, who are you?
- I'm the Attorney's typist.
- Ah, the typist. And do you know?
- I don't know anything.
- You don't? He didn't tell you...
- What?
- That the lady's gone mad.
- Gone mad? Truly mad?
- Yes! Yes!
Over a thing like that?
Over a thing like what?
Miss, you told me that yesterday,
while the Attorney was dictating a letter
the lady came in,
started screaming, and then ran away.
Exactly, Professor.
Let's try to put ourselves
in the same situation as yesterday.
Pretend I'm the Attorney.
That's the door the lady came in from.
I sit over there, you sit in front of
your typewriter. Right?
- No.
- Why not?
- I was sitting on the desk. Like this.
- Ah, then have a seat.
I was sitting here. Like this.
Ah. And where was the Attorney?
Where was he?
Come close to me.
Closer.
- Hold me.
- Hold you?
If you want to know
what the Attorney was doing...
- Ah, he was holding you!
- Yes. Put your arm here.
Around my waist, like that.
Squeeze. Squeeze harder!
Ah! That explains everything.
That was the psychic trauma
- that started this epistasis!
- What?
- The lady came in...
- No!
- No?
- The lady came in afterwards,
while the Attorney was kissing me,
on the neck, behind my ear.
You're nice, you know?
- What scum! A scoundrel! A pig!
- What's wrong, Luisa? What's happened?
That scoundrel!
To cheat on me like that, with a typist!
- What?
- They were kissing!
How terrible!
To desecrate your home like that!
A typist! You, don't leave!
Come here! I want everyone to know.
Now listen to me.
- Do you know what your friend's done?
- No.
I found him kissing the typist.
- Him, too!
- The typist, you understand?
Cheating on me with a typist!
For five years, a poor woman
gives all her love to her husband,
and one day she learns that he's cheating
on her with the first woman he sees.
Don't you find that vile?
Cheating on that poor soul
who's dedicated her entire life to you!
Her entire life! You disgust me!
And you, get out of here!
I'm leaving,
there's no need to get upset.
- Goodbye.
- You pig! You should be ashamed!
- To cheat on her here, in her own house!
- Oh, enough already! Enough!
- Enough!
- What?
- I'm not her husband.
- What?
- What?
- I'm not her husband. I never was.
- You love me, right?
- Me?
Yes, tell me honestly.
Don't mind him, he doesn't deserve me.
We'll get revenge. I don't want to
spend one minute more in this house.
He's taken the typist,
and I'll run away with you.
- With me?
- Yes, we'll run away together.
We'll go far, far away.
There, now you know
exactly the way things stand.
What a tragedy!
And what a great plot for a novel!
Love, madness, betrayal!
Professor! Listen to this!
She wants to run away with me.
- With you?
- Yes! She's packing her bags.
She told me to wait for her outside
the gate. She wants to go far away.
Oh, wonderful.
That's the ideal solution.
- Ideal?
- Yes, she's coming back to you. What else do you want?
- But she doesn't recognise me!
- Then be her lover.
- And if she gets better?
- Then be her husband.
- Ah, right.
- Remember, you have to humor her,
so she doesn't regret it
and nothing stops her.
Go! Don't let anybody see you.
Go call a taxi.
What a story! What a story!
Go! Quickly, disappear!
Hide, now! Go!
- Where?
- Wherever you want! In the basement,
- in the attic, in the garage. Go, now!
- What a story!
Madam!
Professor!
Can I give you some advice?
If you ever want a new car again,
or a new boiler,
or some other little thing...
...don't make a poor doctor
get involved.
Are you angry?
But the typist was involved, too.
You have mocked science,
and its modest representatives.
I had to give my husband a lesson.
Then you came around,
and things got complicated...
Did you really mind
acting like a husband for once?
If you only knew how strange it is
to be married to someone you don't know.
Oh, I know!
Now what do I do, Professor?
Can I get better, just like that?
Oh, sure.
Mad people can do whatever they want.
One morning, when you wake up,
look dazed, confused...
- ...as if you don't remember anything.
- That's all?
Alright. But don't tell my husband
I didn't really go mad, otherwise...
No, we'll leave it be. But...
...tell me something, madam.
Last night...
...when...
Last night?
What happened last night?
I don't remember anymore.
I'm so dazed.
- So confused.
- What?
Isn't that right? Isn't that what
mad people do when they get better?
I see. But at least,
if you ever go mad again...
Again?
If it happens again, I'll call you,
I can assure you.
Thank you.
THE END
I Don't Know You Anymore (1936)
Moderator: Maskath3
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The older Classic's that just won't die. Everything from before 1960's.
The older Classic's that just won't die. Everything from before 1960's.