The five towns lie close to the
heart of dear old England
They spread across the face of
the countryside for many miles
Foul,unique and indispensable
Do you drink from a cup?
Do you eat from a plate?
You have the five towns to thank for that
The five towns stand for
progress and civilization
When our story begins,Bursley
was the largest of the five
and it was also the proudest
Admittedly its atmosphere was
inclined to be heavy
but some remarkable people breath it
Among them was a widow Mrs Machin
she was a washer woman
and there was Edward Henry Machin,her son
Denry as his mother called
him was a healthy child
but it soon become apparent no ordinary one
As a boy he was a peculiarly
thoughtful turn of mind
Instead of spending his leisure hours
playing in the streets with his friends
He devoted extra time to the class room
He was not really dishonest it was just he
liked to give providence a helping hand
Any case he soon had to pay
the penalty for his crime
He won a scholarship to a school
of the sons of gentlemen
and you know what the sons of gentlemen are
Washerwoman.washerwoman,washerwoman
It was early born upon Denry that the
road to success is fraught with hardship
When the time came for him to leave
school and make his way in the world of men
Denry received early confirmation of
the fact that even in that world
honestly is undoubtedly the
best and most useful policy
-Yes
-I want to see Mr Duncalf,please Sir
Business?
I want to apply for the job
advertised in the Centre North
You won't do
You can't read,it says apply by letter
and enclosing references
I've noticed it but you see I
brought my references with me
This does belong to Mr Duncalf,doesn't it?
Mr Duncalf,Mr Duncalf,Mr Duncalf
So Edward Henry became a solicitor's clerk
For a long time he really felt that he
had nothing more to hope for
Then he met the Countess
-Yes
-Good Morning
Good Morning Madam
-Is Mr Duncalf in?
-No,Madam
He's over at town hall
How tiresome I particularly
wanted to see him
If you care to wait
No,thank you,just tell him
that Lady Chell called
Is there anything I can do?
Yes.Perhaps you can
It's about the invitation to
the Municipal Ball
Yes
This is my list,he isn't to take
any notice of the crossings out
You understand
Here is a special list of all the
aldermen and Councillors
that should be added to this
And it's a..
And I want all the invitations
out by Wednesday the latest
And the latest
Thank You.Good Day
Allow me
Thank you
I'll tell Mr Duncalf the
moment he gets back
-Thank You
-Thank You,My Lady
-Hello Denry,how is your mother?
-Fine thanks
Hello.What have you been up to?
That was the Countess of
Chell and has just gone
Had a message for Duncalf
Didn't give you an invitation
to the ball,did she?
No,she didn't
Too bad
She is no snob though
No sight of her
Who said there was?
You hear people talk
I reckon she is the finest
woman ever came to this town
And that's the fact
Machin being funny again Mr Emery?
When I want my office turned
into a music hall I let you know
-Sir?
-What is it?
-Countess of Chell,she called
-Well
She left a message about the
invitations to the ball
She said would you add the
official list to the list of hers
She said not take any notice
of the crossings out
And the invitations have to go
out by Wednesday latest
That's tomorrow.Here.The official list
you better get on with it
Make a full list out from the tune
and get all enveloped addressed
You can stay into the night and do the job
But Sir,there is the church social
Mr Emery,bring that adjust agreement
from Atchinson's,will you please
Yes Mr Duncalf,Sir
I reckon she is the finest woman
that ever came to this town
and that's a fact
-Denry
-Yes,mother
You'll be late again
I've been working late and
I didn't sleep well
Actually you're sleeping too well
I've actually got something on my mind
You better have a dose of castor oil
Good Morning Mrs Machin.Morning Denry
Letter for you
-Thank you Martin
-You are welcome
E.H.Machin Esq
What's happened?
I've had an invitation to a dance
Who from?
The Countess of Chell
This is a done fare.You know how?
-How
-Had it done
Had it picked up
I hope you have to make your excuses
-Evening dress is essential
-Evening dress
Thank you very much Mr Barlow I'll have
the final setting ready for you on Tuesday
All right
Btw Sir, handkerchiefs aren't being
worn in the waistcoat this year
-Not even white ones?
-Not even white,it's the new London fashion
Very glad you told me.Mr Shillitoe
-Good Bye
-Good Day Sir,Thank you
Hello,Denry,what can I do for you
I want a dress to
-Do you know?
-Yes
Sorry it can't be done
The ball you see,all the bigwigs
in the town want a dress
I got to get through
all the orders as it is
-But I'm going,do you see
-Going where?
To the ball
Duncalf's clerk going to the ball
Yes.Are you?
I've no time for that sort of thing
Do you mean to say that the
Countess sent an invitation to you?
That's right.I could get one
for you if you like
The Countess is a client of ours and
I'm in charge of the invitations
See?
Are you sure?
Of course I need a bit of credit
-A year?
-Two
This is one of the nicest piece of
facecloth I've had in for a long time
I can give you a fit on Wednesday
No,no,no Miss Westham.You must
try to look less like a chimpanzee
and more,although I realize it is very
difficult for you,more like a young lady
now,we'll try again,and,one and two..
Come now Mr Clayton I know your
partner feels like a sack of potatoes
but there is no reason
for holding her like one
and for goodness sake will you open your
eyes and look where you're going
All right we'll do it once more,
and one and two..
Get off her feet you clumsy oaf
You both have as about as much
idea of dancing as a pair of crocodiles
This is you fifteenth lesson and it
might as well be your first
I shall double my fees to you both
-Good Afternoon
-Good Afternoon
-Miss Earp
-Yes?
I saw your notice and I thought
I just call in to see if I could..
You want to learn to dance?
Yes.I was on my way home as I was
passing I thought I just inquire
And you found yourself in a lunatic asylum
-You know what I was doing Mr..?
-Machin
I was consoling myself,you see there
are some who are natural dancers
And there are some who are not
And to those who are not one cannot
always say the things one wishes
and not when they are here really
I understand
I thought you would
You now I should say would
be a natural dancer
You have the points.
Yes it could be pleasure
for a young lady to dance with you
Good
You like to start now? My fee is
2 guineas for a course of 18 lessons
-2 guineas I,..
-1 guinea for 9
But Miss Earp would you like an invitation
to the Countess's ball?
I can get you one you know.
I'm in charge of the invitation
Are you really Mr Machin,that
would be extremely kind of you
I would so wishing I could go
And you of course will be going yourself,
I really think you should have
the 2 guinea course
You can pay me next time you come
Right,we will start with the waltz
It's quite simple,ready
A right left,right left,
right left,right left
wake slightly forward one two
three,one two three
Splendid,one two three,splendid
two three one two three
Together,one two three,
yes you are a natural dancer
Denry
What did you say
You'll be late again and that is not good
manner as the Countess has invited you
I know
I promised the first dance to Ruth Earp
Ruth Earp? You see? Maybe you have
but the dinner table is no
place for your boots
Sorry
Blessed
I must be off
Your father never had one of those
-No
-Pride goes before a fall
That's right
Get away with you
Have you got your key?
-Good Evening Machin
-Hello Swetham
Will you care to step this way?
Good Evening,Good evening
Countess's cloth
-Hello John
-Hello again,nice to see you
How goes it?
Quite a temperate lady,she is,
trouble with one of the horses
-So long
-Bye,bye
Miss Earp
What about our dance?
-Our dance has just finished
-Has it?
I'm terribly sorry
Miss Cotterill,Machin
How do you do
Didn't you look at your programme?
Programme
It's the usual thing to do
Where do I get a programme?
I shall ask the footman
One of those?
That's right
Nellie
Excuse me can I have the pleasure
to have a dance with you?
I'm so sorry my programme is full
Excuse me,can I have the
pleasure with a dance with you?
Thank you,I'm afraid my programme is full
-Excuse me can I have a....?
-Hi,dance with me
Look at old Mrs Whiggsey.
Do you see anything like her?
She looks like she has
come out of a rag bag
I do not know what this town is coming to
Hello Machin
Countess hasn't danced yet
That's right
Nice woman.Mother was having
tea with her the other day
Why don't someone of the old buffers
standing around her ask her to
I suppose they can't dance
Somebody ought to ask her
You go and do it,it's a free country
I wouldn't for twopence
I'll bet you 5 £ you don't
I'll take you
Can I have this dance with you?
It's nearly over isn't it?
I'm sure that doesn't matter
Thank you.I should like to.
Machin
I hear you have some bit of troubles
with your horses tonight
Yes we did.Who told you?
I just picked it up
-I have an idea I've seen you before Mr..
-Machin,I'm Duncalf's clerk
You were at the office
Yes of course I remember
-You dance very well Mr Machin
-Really?
As a matter of fact it's the first
time I ever danced in my life
Except in the services you know
It is
She says is the same in dancing as in life
it is a moral duty to adapt
herself to the man
Does she? That's the most
interesting thought
I soon picked it up,dancing I mean
You pick up things easily,don't you?
Yes
See you
Thank you Countess
Thank you Mr Machin I enjoyed that
Here you are.Mind your cheek
What was like to dance with?
Just the same as with any other woman
What was she laughing at?
Ladies and gentlemen take your
partner for the lancers
Excuse me
Good Morning Good Morning Good Morning
Good Morning Good Morning Good Morning..
Why are you so gloom and
gloomy.This fine Sunday
Machin
That's why,you will see when I got in,
and I wasn't more than five minutes late
Machin
Come in
Who invited you to the Countess's Ball?
-Who,Sir?
-Yes.Who.Answer me
I did
You did
Yes I thought you perhaps had forgot to
put my name on the list of the invitations
You did.Did you? I suppose you thought
I forgot to put down that tailor chap too
Shillitoe the missed herb
What have you got to say for yourself
-Nothing
-Nothing
I suppose you fancy yourself
dancing with your betters eh?
Yes.Don't you?
How dare you speak to me like that
I would never have employed you in
the first place a washer woman's son
You haven't done an honest day
work since you've been here
Nor ever likely to,well you can take
a week notice,you understand
A week's notice
And clear up those documents
and take them to the vault
Alas
It's no use I intend to wait
Ah,Mr Duncalf at last I found you in
I'm extremely sorry Mrs Codleyn but
I'm very busy just for the moment
If you make an appointment with my clerk
I do not care to make an appointment
What I'm asking you to do when
I've taken the trouble to drive into town
to see you is to listen
to what I have to say
And actually remove your hat to do so
My dear Mrs Codleyn
I'm aware that I'm not your
most important client but
the property you manage for me
and the rent you collect on my behalf
are not insignificant and surely entitle me
My dear Madame
Entitle me to elementary courtesy as I was
about to say when you interrupted me
But I see that I was mistaken
Madam if you care to place
your interest in other hands
I should only be too delighted
to hand over all your papers
and payments on my cost
And Good Morning to you
Mrs Codleyn
It is you Mr Machin.If Duncalf sent you
to apologize you can save your breath
It's not that Mrs Codleyn,
listen what I want to explain
Explain? I'm not used to be
insulted,Mr Machin
I shall not think indeed
It's too cruel.Just look at our widows,
nobody to protect me,to be spoken like that
Let me tell you this I take
Mr Duncalf at his words
if there was somebody else I could trust
but I don't understand anything
about rent collectors
That's what I want to talk
about,Mrs Codleyn
I collect your rent for you if you like
You?
You see I have given him my notice,
the fact is that Duncalf I don't
hit it off together
-But you're only a clerk
-And what's more I'll do it for 5 %
instead of 7,5% and I settle accounts
every month or week if you like
Instead of once a quarter like he does
Well I don't know that I.
5 % did you say?
The usual rent 6 months off
the arrears.There you are
-10,11
-Three more
Will you have to go just
without your pint,wouldn't you?
If it's rent you want,not for you
Calm now Mrs Hullins that won't do
Here take a pinch of tobacco
I'm not going without a half
a crown at any rate
You will be here for better
part of some time then
I've told you about my son Jack,
he's been out of work six weeks
he starts today,he will let
you have some of it
It won't do,mother,we can't have
any more arrears,you know
The way you people go on,
your ruining poor Mrs Codleyn
Six and forty years I've
been lived in this heir house
And look what you owe
It's the bailiffs for you I'm afraid
Neigh,neigh,you will not turn me out
I'm sorry mother,it's the rent or
the bailiffs,one or the other
Look I hate to see you turned
out of your home
I'll lend you half a crown if you like
But I can't do it for nothing
You pay me back next week
and give me a twopence
-You are a q*eer Mr Machin
-That's fair isn't it?
Now get your rent book
Twopence a week for half a crown
that's 10 %,that's 40% per month
and 500% over the year,you see mother
I've still got that 5 £ I won at the ball
5£ 10% per week compound interest,
why that is a fortune
That's lots of them hard up to the rent
it will be doing them a kindness
Supposing they won't pay you back
They'll have to,you see when
they pay me the next rent
I won't mark it down in their books
unless they are straight with me
Aren't you impressed?
Come on Joey
-You're Machin.
-That’s me
-My name is Calvert
-Oh yes
I've been hearing a lot about you
Get the rents in no nonsense,
that's what old Mrs Codleyn tells me
Clears up the arrears 5%
that is monthly right?
That's right
Here is a list of my tenants in the
arrears,get that back log cleared up
I might have something more for you,right
-Right
-Good
I'll give you a week
What's the matter with him?
It's your stick
Thank you Ruth,Friday at eight?
Yes,Friday don't forget
to practice your turns
I won't
-Good Afternoon,Mr Machin
-Good Afternoon,Nellie,Miss Cotterill
-I like your hat
-Thank you
-How do you do Miss Earp
-How do you do Mr Machin
-Can I come in a moment
-Please do
It's a long time since we seen
anything of one and another,Mr Machin
Yes it is
Do sit down
Thank you
I've been called about the rent,Miss Earp
The rent?
Yes I collect rents,you know
Indeed I thought you were a gentleman
Mr Herbert Calvert has instructed me
that no rent is to be allowed to
be remain in arrears
Let's see you owe 30 £ plus
Mr Herbert Calvert,that what he has done
I presume you know what happened?
Happened?
Mr Calvert took advantage of his
visit here for his rent
to behave in a very vulgar
and offensive way
What did he do?
Insulted me
I've would have given him
notice to leave instantly
if I haven't had to consider my pupils
As it was I decided to withhold the rent
and I shall continue to do so
until I receive an apology
It wouldn't be convenient then
to pay something on account
Convenient? Everybody in this town knows
that my clientele get larger every year
Convenient? It's perfectly convenient
I just don't care to
Is that final Miss Earp?
Absolutely
Then I think the simplest thing for me
will be to send round the bailiffs
tomorrow morning early
I see so I'm to be persecuted as well
No,the bailiff is quite a nice chap
What curious man you are Mr Machin
Very well I suppose I shall have to give in
I'll write you tonight
With the money? You could give it me
now really,couldn't you?
Yes,I could and make you
thoroughly ashamed of yourself
I shall give you some tea as well
-There is no need
-But there is
I insist
-More tea?
-No thank you
-Let me take your cup
-Thank you
-Cigarette?
-Thank you
The matches are inside
-Sure you don't mind?
-No,I like it
Do you smoke?
I like a man to smoke
I hear that you were a member
of the Country Club now
Oh,yes
It means you are becoming a
very important person
The bank manager put me up
As you know people are still talking about
the way you danced with the Countess
If it hadn't been for you I hadn't been
able to dance with her
I'm sure you are the sort of a man who
could do anything if you wanted to
Ashtray?
I'm keeping you
No,no,I have a pupil coming
in five minutes,that's all
Anyway you can't go before I paid you
-Well
-No.I insist
Every month I put your
horrid Mr Calvert's rent in this box
It's all there
I see
Now you shall open it
Turn it sharply into the right
Not seems to open
It's broken I'm afraid
I'm so sorry
It's not your fault
Just that I don't see how we're
going to get it opened
You mind calling in at Aldman
it has to send somebody around forceps
first thing in the morning
And then I can call in and
give you the money
That's all right I can call
Can you?
Oh,yes
To tea?
A pupil
Tomorrow then?
Tomorrow
Is there anybody there?
Who is it?
It's me
Miss Earp
Yes.Is that Mr Machin?
Yes.What on earth are you doing in there
What did you say?
I said what on earth.Never mind
I'll try and get round to you
Where are you?
I'm in here.On the table
Just a moment I got some matches
Goodness
I hit my head.I think
I may have fractured it
Can't you get me out?
I think we are too far from the bank
How deep is the water down there?
Not very
Then I'll come down
The men just put the table in
and said it was time for supper
and took the waltzed out and went
Furniture men are always like that
But how did you get here?
I was looking for a box to pet the china in
I see doing a moonlight flit
You've got a nerve
I don't need what you mean,
I was helping a friend
A friend? That's your table
you are sitting on there
The same one which has a little box
with a lock that doesn't work
I've looked surprised,
a chump going up to an empty house
for tea tomorrow,wouldn't I?
And all that talk about
Calvert insulting you
well it's bailiffs for you this time Miss
Earp and make no mistake about it
Bailiffs
I say it's not as bad as
that,it isn't really
I did tryt o pay but it was no good
It was too much owing and so few
people who wanted to dance
I wasn't extravagant
you've got to have good clothes and things
if you want the nice people to come
And it wouldn't be any good my
selling it all up then I'd had nothing
Where were you going?
I was going to my father in Birmingham
I didn't know you had a father,
why doesn't he help?
He's bankrupt again
Again?
He's been bankrupt four times
That's why I tried on my own
What is it going to become of me
You'll be all right
We better get out of here
That table was made of iron,isn't it?
Yes.Why?
The table is the only thing which will
give you away,we will drop it out there
The water is deep enough,come on
-Oh Denry is it safe?
-You'll be safe with me
Oh Denry
Six,cracked note,little Miss Martin,
and 10 £ from Miss Earp on account
less commission of course
Well.What about the balance?
You'll get it
Lots of rumour about that van
business the other night
She tried to hook it off being cute
No,no I think the van went
to the wrong house
Funny how people talk,some say
you are engaged to her
Oh,look there is the silly old Duncalf
coming out of the shoe shop
And you are off to Llandudno for a holiday
They may be right to that
And taking Nellie Cotterill
along as a chaperon
I shouldn't be surprised
I like you Denry,you're getting
into being a quite a card
Paying tenants rents for
the month,everything,
I'll tell you what I do,you can look
after the rest of my property if you like
Good.I will.When do I start? Next week?
You'll be away
I'll come back for a couple
of days to collect the rent
All right.Here is the list
Thanks.Good Day
Good Day to you
Machin
Enjoy your self
I'm afraid Nellie feel a little
hard with my daytime walk
It's a different landlady from
the one I had last year
but she is very nice
Now where shall we begin
It's so much to do and we've
got to do everything
I know the pier
That's so close I can see
the captain clearly
so very becoming to man a beard
Denry why don't you grow a beard?
Oh,Denry our future,shall I go first?
You do want to know your
fate,don't you Denry?
Come Nellie
Come on in,both.It's lovely
I don't think I can face it after all
I'll try again tomorrow
Very cheap to Snowdon,of course I went
last year,but I'll love to go again
The isle of Man,magnificent,
we must go first class
Look,Denry,marionettes
It's horrid but we'll have to go
Denry 6 shillings
Now this is something we mustn't miss
But Denry won't be here on Tuesday
What do you mean?
I've got to go to Bursley
to collect the rent
That.But you will be back
in time for the concert
in case you catch the seven o'clock
train we'll meet you at the station
Llandudno station, All change.Please
Twenty minutes late.You know it's too bad
Pier it's quite close and it
doesn't start until eight
Here he is
-Hello.Hello Nellie
-Good Evening Denry
You're late.We have to go straight there
I caught the first train I could,and even
didn't have a chance to get to the bank
Let's say there is a little
bit of wind isn't it?
The maid at our hotel said it was the
worst storm they have had for 20 years
We couldn't even get on the
promenade this afternoon
Then we went shopping instead
We'll have to call a cab
-Cab
-Cab
I told you no good standing there waiting
What's that?
What's all that about?
There is a Norwegian ship in trouble.
I'm afraid she won't make it to the pier
-Let's go and see
-You can't.The pier has been closed
Has it?
I tell you.You can't go on.
The pier is closed
You need a boat in here
I'll tell you.You can't go in there
Please leave it with me.Press.
Staffordshire Sentinel.I'll close the gate
That's the fishing boat they
were talking about
You two wait in the shoulder.I'm going down
Here take this it's the rent
What do you want?
I'm from the Press.Is this your boat?
What's left of it.Keep her clear
Would you care to make a statement
What's there to say.Look the last mast
of pieces going in the lifeboat one
If I were you,mister, I'll
get out down here
All good reporters can take
care of ourselves
Help,help
Now I've got no more pennies
Look instead of take some of these you
go on the outside and I go on the inside
-There we are
-Tusen tack(Norw.)
You don't look very well you must have some
Cocoa You like hot cocoa?
-And what about you?
-Ma jag betale for dette(Norw)
What a difficult language,still,never mind
That's all I'm afraid.But
hold on.I'll be back
Where have you been?
We are running out of chocolates
but there is butterscotch and coffee,
have you any more pennies?
No,couldn't you use half crowns instead
No we tried they won't fit the machine
Nellie
-Good Morning Denry
-Good Morning
Where is Nellie?
I told her to meet us later
in the pavilion
And how are you feeling?
Fine
No cold or anything?
No
Nellie and I got our bills for
the room this morning
Did you?
-Yes
-Did you pay it?
Yes.The landlady said she
didn't give credit
so Nellie gave me her share and I paid it
-Gosh
-Lovely
I've hardly any of the money
left that you gave me
There was distress of course but
you feel how dear money goes
No
One cannot run into debt here,
they'll only claim your luggage
I think they would
I suppose we could use some of that?
Is there any left?
The Calvert will be pleased,it's so
generous you know,but at cost you know
What exactly do you mean by that?
Nothing
One cannot make a remark like
that and mean nothing
A chap can make any remark and mean nothing
Good Morning
Who's that?
It's a gentleman I was once engaged to
No.I suppose I shall just have to go
home earlier that's all
Is it?
I think I shall go and find Nellie
It's you
Patching it up?
It's hardly worth it
It is not as bad as all that is it?
No,look at that
I see what you mean.Want to sell her?
I might
Want to buy it?
But you said just now on the beach that
she was not worth patching up
That was before I knew that
you wanted to buy her
I'll tell you what I do.I'll give
you 15 £ now 15£ when I collect her
and 15£ at the end of the season.
And what's more I'll give you 5 £ a week
to look after things
Now what do you say?
-All right.I'll do it.
-Have another drink
Now here are my bags and everything
Oh Nellie we must have something
to read in the papers
-Good afternoon
-Good afternoon Madame
And this and this and that over there
How much?
-3 sh and 2 p
-3 sh and 2p Denry
She is getting some chocolates
Perhaps you prefer this one,Madame
It's got a beautiful ribbon
Isn't it a lovely box?
How much?
15 shillings Madame
That's quite reasonable
Who were they?
A young lady I was once engaged to
Which one?
Can't remember
15 shillings
I been wondered by one of
these paper-weights before.Pure crystal
Have you got one with a picture
of the Great Orme?
I'm afraid not,Madame.We got the Esplanade,
Happy Valley but we out of the Great Orme
Yes Madame.We could do that.
They are 35 shillings each
I just make a note where to send it
What name?
Rockefeller
Buckingham Palace
Denry.What an awful thing to say
I only said Rockefeller,can't
a chap say Rockefeller?
No he can't
You must apologize at once
Ruth.There is picture of Snowdon,
Dendry just didn't mean it
He is very sorry
I will not submit to insults
No of course not,Dendry
Your ring.Our engagement is at an end.
Ruth
I only said Rockefeller
Come along Ladies and Gentlemen,come along
Everybody taken the chance of the trip
to the scene of the terrible
Hjalmar shipwreck
Everybody,man,woman and child will want
this unique and educational experience
Only 2 and six pence for the round trip
including the use of one of the
original lifeboats if so desired
the gallant Norwegian sailor men will roar
you to the scene of the terrible ordeal
sailing every half hour of the day,
children half price,babies are free
There you are Mr Machin.That's another 3 £
Thanks,Simeon
That's 60 £ in three days
Seem to like it.Don't they?
Just as out of the Cregeen's old book
That's it
There is mighty lot of money for
doing nothing.Mr Machin
But you see I did do something,
Simeon,I thought of it
-Hello Denry
-Hello mother
So you are back for good now are you?
Yes
And I brought you a little present
What's in it?
Lot of jolly fine pebbles I've
been collecting on the beach
Pebbles?
Go on.Open it up
Must be more somewhere and
I will look for them tomorrow
One thousand and fourteen pounds
And I sold the boat for what I paid for it
Then is all this really yours
No I told you it is yours
But what are we going to do with it?
For one thing you don't have to work
anymore in that old wash-house
And why not?
Now listen..
I always worked for my living,and I'll go
on working,thank you very much
-What's wrong with working?
-Nothing
It's your money and you can
spend it or save it as you please
Or if you asked me I'd save it because
you never know what can happen
By only last week I dropped half a
crown down the drains outside
You can laugh,never does no harm to save
No it doesn't
But I've got a better idea
Do you see what I mean Mr Cregeen,people
join the club and pay in so much a week
The third chapter decided
on a 10 £ subscription
Larfy only paid 5 £ to me and he gets 10£
worth of gods from you on his card
I paying you
In fact you lend him 5 £
That's right and he pays me
back week by week
That's take capital
Doesn't he pay you interest?
No he pays me 10 £ and gets 10 £ worth of
gods from you or somebody else
And you do this just to
help the working man
Oh,no.You give me 15% discount
Wait a minute
Because he can only use his club card
at a shop which I nominated
and the shop I nominate is the one
that give me 15% discount,you see
I see you're quite a card yourself
aren't you Mr Machin
All right.I'm on
But it is extra business for you Mr Bostock
the club makes it easier for them to buy
You'll get customers you've never
ever seen before isn't that worth 15%
How do I know I'll get my money from you
I'll open an account with you
today,give you a deposit,right
All right Machin I'll give it a trial
but I want 50£ deposit fee
50 £ deposit will rule me out
A deposit Machin and I'm in
Deposit,deposit,deposit,deposit...
I'd like to help you Denry
but I'm afraid I can't
But the whole thing is a colossal success
I know if it weren't you won't
be needing money
It's an old disease,Denry,
you're undercapitalized
I know that that's why I came to the bank
I'll be frank,Denry,these people
of mine at the head office
all they see is a young chap
without anything really solid behind him
asking for a loan which they think twice
about giving to an old established
business house
They don't like that,you see,
you're not respectable
I am not respectable?
From a banking point of view you are not
Now,if you had someone with a name
With a position to keep up a reputation
for probity to consider
would lend that name to
the club's activities as a patron say
that would be different
-See?
-I see
Thanks
Someone respectable?
So you see John there is nothing in it
I'd like to oblige Denry but
I'll tell you what,you know those
new kitchen rangers
with brass knobs and everything
Yes
You do this for me
I'll get Mr Calvert to install one of those
rangers in your mother's kitchen
Well I do not..
Brass knob now what you say?
Well it is bit..
All you got to do is to give me
the thumps up sign as you pass
So that's settled.Isn't it?
Denry I..
Come on Joey
What is it?
It is a rear side trace ,
My Lady,it is broken
I will get out
-A trace you said?
-Yes,My Lady
I'll have it right a brazier shaped,My Lady
How long to have the brazier shaped?
About 20 minutes My Lady
-It's too long
-Yes,My Lady
Good Afternoon Countess.Had an accident?
No I'm doing this for idle amusement
Can I be of any assistance to you?
You know Mr Machin I 'd
rather think you can
Things like the 5 £ Universal Club Card
is something people need round here
It's makes it easier for them
to buy the things they want
I see.You are very charitable Mr Machin
Oh no I'm just fond of make money
So I imagined
I don't see anything wrong
with that,Countess,do you?
No.But I don't see myself
as patron either I'm afraid Mr Machin
Well.Here we are just about to turn into
the square in a couple of minutes in hand
Not bad for a mule
You're all right
I think we better walk don't you?
I hope you are not going to let
this animal b*at us Mr Machin
I'd think I hurt my arm a bit
Oh Then I'll better drive
Once it let it b*at you,
it will never forget it
Kindly back us out of here,please
Make way please
Thank you
Send the bills for any damage to me
Mr Machin has had his arm hurt,the
doctor should be on his way
Very good My Lady
Are you all right Mr Machin when
we know when the ceremony is over
I will drive you home with a
better state of wheels
Well Ladies and Gentlemen I've
had my say about this tail of work
and in concluding with my proposal
for the vote of thanks
to the Countess of Chell
for coming here in person to open it I
should like to say in my official capacity
as Superintendent of the Police
that I don't know that I ought not to
charge the Countess and Mr Machin here
with driving to the common danger
Nevertheless all's well that
ends well as they say
I know propose a vote of thanks
and call upon it to be seconded
He has to be seconded
He has got to be seconded
You go to seconded
No,Calvert you think of it
I have nothing prepared.
Somebody has to do it
Shall I do it?
Ladies and gentlemen I've had the
honor of being asked by the lady's committee
to second the vote of thanks
to the Countess of Chell
and I see that there are quite
a few of you this afternoon
who are members of the five
towns Universal Thrift Club
Btw you can't use your card this
afternoon it's your cash they want
Cash on the nail
And why? Because it's for charity
and a good charity at that
the Bursley Cottage Hospital
In fact I think the best way we can thank
the Countess for coming here this afternoon
is to give it all the support we can
And just to show you that I mean what I say
I'm going to start the ball
rolling by buying something
Now what's cheapest?
Well whatever it is I'll give 50 £ for it
and I hand my cheque to your
committee this afternoon
There it is,Ladies and Gentlemen,
now move along please
let's show the five towns that
Bursley's heart in the right place
Good Bye Sir
Home coming
Shall I make the tea Mrs Machin?
Thank you Nellie
Is Denry taken you to the
concert next week?
He did say something about it but since
he became a Councilor he's been so busy
Councilor.Reckon he's getting
above himself.
His father never wanted to
become a Councilor
What do you think? I've heard
from Ruth Earp yesterday
-She's married
-That's a blessing
Three months ago to a Birmingham man
very rich,a bit old of course,
she's very happy
Happy she is,very rich
-Good night,Howard
-Good night,Sir
-Hello Nellie
-Hello Denry
-Are you in bed?
-Doesn't look like it
-You know what the doctor said
-Ah,doctors
-What have you got there?
-Present for you.
It's your birthday tomorrow
Your birthday? And you never told me
I don't know the ones reminding of it
There
-Lovely
-Blessed
Put it on
Go on,Nellie,make her put it on
My,it's warm
It should be it's real sealskin
Don't take it off
What are you doing?
Put it away of course.I'll get
some moth powder tomorrow
And listen mother,you know
what the doctors said
you got to keep warm,you know,wearing..
Never said I was
You'll never be in this rotten
old place it is damp
This was reckon to be a very good class of
house when your father and I came into it
Some folks have got so grand
Now listen mother.Do you
know how much I'm making?
Over 2000£ a year.We don't
have to go on living here,do we?
You can live where you like
but I'm staying here
And that's final
I don't know
What are you laughing at?
You Denry,your mother must
be the only person
in the Five towns that's always
get the better of you
That is your considered opinion
It is
Bless us
Denry
Now,what do you think
of her,not bad is she?
-Is it yours?
-Yes,I got her 3 weeks ago
3 weeks ago,you always
said you might get one
I wanted to surprise you and
I had to learn to drive first
It's wonderful
I'll take you to a spin out after
tea if you like,is your father in?
No,he had to go to Manchester on business
Money?
I think so
Not you worry anyway
What does the gigs belong to?
Look
By jove
Good Afternoon Denry
I'll say.What a surprise.How are you?
Don't tell me I can see how you
are,you look wonderful
That's not the right thing to say
to a widow in mourning,Denry
A widow?
I'm so sorry
I didn't know
Nellie has been telling me
about your success
I expect she made too much of it
I expect she has
He's always so modest
He always was
-Nellie
-Yes mother
Tea is ready
I did very little shopping in Paris,
I didn't want to stay
but I simply couldn't fit going back
there again to that horrid Swiss
hotel crammed full of tourists
Thank you
So I went to Monte Carlo instead
it was very dear of course
Yes it must have been
But not as dear as Venice
That was gayer?
Naturally.Much.
I stayed with the Comtesse Martinario
and her brother they have a nice palace
It used to be the Duke of Rodriguez's,
of course they only keep about
26 of their own servants
But it is very very comfortable
and so much easier to run
and after all we spent most
of the time on the yacht
Denry do pass the cake to Lady Capron-Smith
Yes of course.To who?
Me
No thank you
It must very tame for you
here back in England
No.I like England.After all it
is where one's real friends are
and one dear say long for news
I'm afraid nothing much has happened here
Alderman Mould d*ed
I'm afraid I don't..
He was going to Mayor in December
Now I suppose we should
have to have Mr Duncalf
He is a horrible man
and now he want to close down the football
club just because it won't pay
Silly old Duncalf
Nellie I think that is your father back
Will you excuse me?
Really?
-You drive well
-It's easy once you got the knack of it
-You've changed,you know
-Have I?
You are so much more self-assured mature
Changed a bit yourself?
What children we were
Do you remember Mr Calvert's rent?
Yes. Do you?
This is more comfortable than
the furniture van
Of course if I got one I have
to have a chauffeur
I didn't know that your husband had a title
What was it? A Lord?
No.Only a knight
I didn't even know he kicked
the bucket..d*ed
How did it happen?
We had only been married
a little while,two months
It was very sudden.Heart
He overtaxed his strength
Of course he was quite elderly
but most good and kind
He was in steel
Do you see very much of Nellie?
Quite a bit.I am very fond of Nellie
Yes.She is sweet
I am so glad we met again Denry
That silly little misunderstanding,
you know,it haunted me
Has it?
Money.It is so important,
when you haven't got it
and now we both got plenty
and it doesn't matter
The real thing is ambition isn't it?
How do you mean?
You want to be mayor,don't you?
You see I couldn't be the youngest
mayor this town ever had
Could have been?
Next year there will be too late for that
this year there is the silly old Duncalf
You do not want to upset him
-I don't mind about that but..
-But what?
I don't know
I don't know if I can do it
Denry.Don't you remember
what I used to say to you?
What was that?
You can do anything,anything
at all,if you want to enough
You are that kind of man
You really think so?
Yes
Well Mr Mayor it's yours again
Well I must admit
And this is the kind of show I am
blamed for trying to put a stop to
Well the weather doesn't help
Don't make no difference
what the weather is
Bursley's team is a joke
As long as long as we do not get
any public support it will stay a joke
They have the impertinence to
organize meetings to condemn the directors
The joke is over now.We are closing it down
It's a pity about Thursday's meeting though
We don't want the things
become a political issue
Politics don't come into it
it's simply a matter of the shareholders
interest being protected
And I am going to say so
I'll get them a meeting
I'd like a word with your
captain,Councilor Machin
You'd better come with me
There is only one thing wrong with football
and it's not the football
it's yourself
For thirteen years now me
and my co-directors
have been losing money,our own money
to provide this town with a
professional football team
and we warned you again and again
what would happen if these
matches weren't better patronized
and now when you stalked the proved debt
You call a meeting to complain
about bad management
Hello Denry I thought you
were in Birmingham
No
It's all very well to talk but it
doesn't get you anywhere
Facts are the real talkers
How are you going to get new blood
with transfer fees as high as they are
Would anybody at this meeting
care to lend the club 1000 £ or so?
Anybody?
I thought not
What you're asking for is not better
management but something for nothing
Mr Mayor,Mr Mayor
May I say a few words on this subject?
Step up on the platform,Councilor Machin
Thanks
I don't pretend to be an expert on football
but I would like to say something
about this question of new blood
If I'm not mistaken one of the greatest
modern footballer is a native of this town
Callear
That's right
Callear is the man I mean
The greatest centre forward in England
Callear left this town when he was a boy
and he's made the fortune in
every club he has played for
Liverpool City
Your county
Your county
That's right and Birmingham
he is the best there is
Gentlemen I say that Callear ought
to come back to his native town
And Bursley's centre forward
he'll lead us on to victory,
all right,wouldn't he?
I'm glad Councilor Machin admits that
he has no knowledge of football
That saves me the trouble of telling you
Why don't you sit down!
Trouble in using him that Aston Villa
and Blackburn Rovers
have both made offers to
Birmingham for Callear
and now these two wealthy clubs
are fighting it out between them
and ask Callear back again to Bursley,why,
steam engines and that Cigg
himself couldn't do it
Finished?
Mr Callear would you mind stepping up
a moment,so we all can have a look at you
Well,gentlemen,we've got Mr Callear here
without either the steam engine
or His Majesty
I suggest to the Directors of the Club
that they accept him and try another season
Wait a moment,wait a moment,
what about the transfer?
I forgot I signed him up in Birmingham
this morning as a present for the club
Please use applause for Machin
It won't be Councilor Machin
for long now,Denry
Hello Mr Machin.We won,all right eh!
Have you seen the news of
Councilor Cotterill,terrible thing
Bankrupt
Cotterill bankrupt!
Yes I know
A petition was filed in Manchester,
that's hardly would have been able
to keep it a secret for so long
Nellie herself didn't know it until the
last week,she told me yesterday
Why didn't tell me,I'd have helped them
It wasn't just the money,
it was talk of criminal procedures
Why didn't you tell me?
Let them go off like that
Nellie made me promise not to.
They didn't want to notify.
They were ashamed
Their relations in Canada sent
them the money for the fare
It seemed easier for them to just
go without saying good bye
But to Canada!
They sail from Liverpool tomorrow,steerage
Steerage? Nellie in the steerage?
And Mr and Mrs Cotterill
they only have a little money left
for when they got there
But they are sailing tomorrow
afternoon,it's too late
Oh,no,it isn't I can telegraph
Liverpool for first class cabin,
go off by train in the morning
and make them change
Steerage
Denry all right,listen we
are both friends of theirs
Let's half the cost,you and I,and let's
go together to Liverpool and see them off
That's a very good idea
We don't know how to thank you
We couldn't let you go like that
Mr and Mrs Cotterill
Yes
Would you please come and
check your luggage
Someday I hope to repay you
Don't worry about that
-Good Bye Denry
-Good Bye Mrs Cotterill
Now I really think we should go
Yes
-Good Bye,Nellie darling
-Good Bye Ruth
Good Bye Nellie
Good Bye
-Look out
-Thank you Denry
All ashore that is going ashore
Time is getting short a minute,I left
something to give you in,it's in the cab
There isn't any time,the bell is..
It just to dodge people to
get off quickly,come on
This way
Don't be late,Sir
-Which one is it?
-Wait a minute,dear
In here
Lime Street Station
Denry!
-Will you please follow that cab?
-Sorry Mum,you've to take the cab in front
Downtown,cabbie
Exchange,please
Allow me
Thank you
It's always sad saying good bye
to someone you're fond of,isn't it?
Yes it is
Your husband?
My husband? No.Just friend
I have no husband
I think seeing somebody off myself
Your wife?
Oh,no,only my sister.I'm not married
You are upset aren't you?
This is rather unpleasant district
you know.
May I escort you back to civilization?
I have my car
Thank you
Look here if you don't dry up,
I'll have to cry myself
I'll send a telegram to
your father and mother
They will get it when they land
What's you are going to do with me?
Do with you? Marry you,of course,
what do you think
Marry me?
You feel happy?
If I had any sense I would
have thought of it long ago
What about Ruth?
I'll hang Ruth.She can take care of herself
Are you sure you are quite comfortable?
Yes,thank you ,you are really very kind
Not at all
Where to,My Lord?
Where can I take you?
I'm staying at the Coronation Hotel
What an extra ordinary co-incidence,
I'm staying there too
To the hotel,please,Brown
Our leading citizen
What great cause has he
ever been identified with
I think I can tell you that,Mr Duncalf
It's quite simple,He's identified with
a great cause of cheering us all up
Look
Denry
Promoter, The (1952)
Moderator: Maskath3
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