- Oh, yes, oh, yeah.
Oh, yes.
- Can you roll over?
- What?
- I wanna be on top.
- What's that for?
Now I know why you wanted
to do it in your mom's bed.
- Can you imagine if she saw us right now?
Her holiness would
probably sh*t rosary beads.
- Mm, you're a bad girl.
Sex is a sin.
- So is incest.
Now, shut up.
f*ck me.
What's wrong?
- That little fucker's watching us.
- Get the f*ck out of
here, you little pervert.
- That kid gives me the creeps.
- I gotta pee.
- Well, aren't you gonna uncuff me first?
- You're afraid
I won't come back?
Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, Pumpkin, what are you up to?
- Oh, mom just has me babysitting
while she's out on some church thing.
- Will she be back tonight?
- I hope so.
I don't wanna be here as it is.
- Why don't
you stop by after then?
I miss you.
- I miss you too, Daddy.
- Who's Daddy's little girl?
- Me.
- That's right.
Okay, hopefully I'll see you later then.
Bye, baby, I love you.
- Love you too, Daddy.
- Hey, babe, everything,
what the f*ck do you want?
Get outta here, you f*cking troll.
Are you deaf?
I said get.
What the f*ck did you do to me?
- Yeah.
We graduated, m*therf*cker.
Whoo, yeah.
Whoo, yeah.
- Will you sit down, please?
You're going to get decapitated.
- Oh, my God, would you
not be such a sourpuss?
We graduated.
This is the end of early mornings, ladies.
This is the end of going
back to that hellhole.
We graduated, yes.
- Yeah, only took you two extra
years to graduate, dumbass.
- It's 'cause I wanted
to be with you, bitch.
- Oh, baby, I love it
when you talk sh*t to me.
- You two are so gross.
Can't you wait till you're alone?
- You're just jealous 'cause
you want some of this.
- Ugh, please.
- What I want to know is, man,
when are you gonna seal
the deal with Jenna?
- I'd like to say soon, amigo,
but she's a hard nut to cr*ck.
She's all, "I just wanna wait
until I'm really in love,"
that kind of bullshit.
- I can't believe she's still a virgin.
I mean, there must be something
wrong with her, right?
- I think it's commendable.
What?
I'm not saying I could do it.
Girlfriend doesn't know what
she's missing out on.
If I can't have sex, you
might as well just k*ll me.
- f*ck, yeah.
- So what's the plan?
We heading to your dad's cabin tonight?
- Yeah, we have to go pick
up Jenna at her house,
and Elliot and Anya will meet us there.
- Elliot? Why is that loser coming?
- 'Cause he's my f*cking friend.
Why are you coming?
- 'Cause she's f*cking me.
- Seriously though, who do you think gets
to supply us with all this fine-ass weed?
- Well, there you have it, folks.
We're using the boy for his pot.
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
- Great park job, idiot.
- Whatever, we stopped, didn't we?
- All right, I'm gonna go get her.
Just give me a couple of minutes, huh?
- Come on, hurry up.
- If you're not back in 10 minutes,
we'll know it's because you're
not having sex.
- Hey, Drew.
- Hey.
- My dad's right there.
Uh, come in.
Uh, I just have a few more things to pack,
but I'll be back in a minute.
- Uh, do you need any help?
- Um, no thanks.
I'm not allowed to have boys in my room.
But just have a seat and talk to my dad.
I'll be right back.
- 51, 52, 53,
54, 55, 56,
57, 58, 59,
60, 61, 62,
63, 64, 5, 6, 7.
- Uh, nice place you have here, sir.
Very nice.
Uh, did you do it or the missus?
- Jenna's mother d*ed when she was 12.
- I'm sorry, I, um.
- All right, listen, boy.
Just what are your
intentions with my daughter?
- My intentions?
- Jenna's my only daughter.
So don't go thinking
you're gonna walk in here
and just take her away from me.
- Take her away?
Uh, sir, we've only
been going out
for a couple of months.
- This little weekend getaway
you guys are going to,
there gonna be dr*gs there?
- No, sir, I would, um,
I would never do dr*gs.
- Any drinking?
You know she's underage, right?
- Yes, sir.
I mean, no, sir, no.
No, we, we won't be drinking.
I mean, it's, it's, it's
not like, uh, you know,
my parents own a liquor store.
Why am I still talking?
- You kids planning on
having sex this weekend?
- Sex?
- You bit my lip, you stupid bitch.
- Excuse me, dickhead,
thought you liked it rough.
- I do.
And you do too, huh?
- Hit me again.
Is that all you got?
Hit me again, you f*cking p*ssy.
That's more like it.
- Anya, what the f*ck?
- What the f*ck, what?
- How is it that you get more beautiful
every time I see you?
- Oh, baby, you're so sweet.
Remind me again why we don't
just get a cabin at the beach.
- 'Cause, babe, Drew's place is free.
And besides, in the woods,
no one can hear you scream in pleasure.
- Jesus, can't you people
keep your hormones in check
for more than five minutes?
- Hey, Carli, what's the matter with you?
- Oh, she's just pissed
because she's the only one
not getting laid this weekend.
- Besides Drew.
- And Elliot.
- There you go, you can
hook up with Elliot.
- Isn't he gay?
- I'm pretty sure he's not.
- Oh, speak of the devil.
- Hey, uh, you guys give me a hand?
uh, funny.
Uh, seriously, help.
- g*dd*mn, Elliot, we're just
going away for one weekend.
What the f*ck is all this sh*t?
- Uh, I like to be prepared.
- Man.
- If you could just.
Thank you.
- So, what, Jason's not coming?
- No, he's working.
- Bummer, hope you brought some toys.
All right.
- I'm ready.
Sorry it took so long.
- Let me give you a hand with those.
- Oh, thanks.
Do you mind that I asked
Rachel to come along?
- The lesbian?
- She's not a lesbian.
She's my friend, and I
thought it would be nice
if she joined us.
- Yeah, I guess it's fine.
- Really?
You're okay with it?
- If it gets your dad to stop
staring at me, I'm thrilled.
- Bye, Daddy, I love you.
- Love you too, Pumpkin.
Behave yourself this weekend.
- Absolutely, you can trust me.
- I know I can.
- Oh, hey, would ya look at the time?
Uh, we better hit the road if
we wanna make it before dark.
- You made it.
- Bro.
- Yeah, don't ask.
Let's just go.
- Hey, man, you sure
you don't have a problem
with the tagalong?
- It was the only
way Jenna would come.
- Well, I sure hope not,
for your sake.
- You think I need a nose job?
- What?
No, your nose is perfect.
- You don't think it's too small?
- Too small?
Who the hell wants
their nose to be bigger?
- I just don't think it fits my face.
- No, baby, you're fine.
- Tits could be bigger, though.
- Nope, trust me, these
babies work some magic.
- They certainly do wonders for me.
- Get away from me, you fungus.
- Oh, hey, um, well I
gotta show you something.
Check it out.
- Elliot, I swear to God,
if you whip out your penis
again, I'm going to hurl.
- Uh, you should be so lucky.
No, check it out.
- Oh, wow.
That's so cool.
- You don't know what this is, do you?
It's an, it's an Emperor
Palpatine limited edition,
Walmart-exclusive Pez dispenser.
There was only like 50,000 of these made.
- You managed to find one, lucky you.
- I know, right?
Got it for, like, five bucks on eBay.
Want one?
- No, thanks.
- Come on, you know you want it.
Everybody loves Pez.
- Forget it.
You're a dork.
- More for me.
- Pez?
- So here we are, g*ng.
- Here we are where?
It looks like a shack.
- Well, yeah, it's my dad's hunting cabin.
He and some friends used
to come up here all time.
You know, they'd hunt, fish,
drink, bond, that kinda bullshit.
- Just tell me which bed is mine.
- Well, there's only two beds
and, uh, one of 'em's mine.
- Are you joking?
Where's everyone supposed to sleep?
- That's why we
brought sleeping bags and tents.
- No way am I sleeping out here.
There's way too many bugs and sh*t
that can crawl into my hair.
- I have to pee.
Where's the bathroom?
- Uh, the outhouse, over there.
- Uh, yeah, you're funny.
- I'm serious.
This cabin has been in
my family for 100 years.
Except for a stove, there's
no modern amenities.
You gotta pee, use the outhouse.
You want a shower, the only
one we have is outside.
- We have to shower outside?
- What about electricity?
- Yeah, there's a generator
out in the tool shed.
Let's get your tents set up.
Then, you guys can grab it
while I get a fire going, all right?
- Drew, the, uh, lake is
over at that path, yeah?
- Yeah, about a half a mile.
- Excellent.
- assh*le.
- Huh?
- Where are you going?
- Pitch a tent.
- Everyone's setting up here.
- Exactly.
Wouldn't you rather go
somewhere out in the woods
where people won't be
kept up by your screams?
- Let me help you with that.
- Nice.
- Christ, who lives
here, Freddy Krueger?
- Uh, wrong movie, it's Jason, you moron.
- "It's Jason, you moron."
Shut the f*ck up, or I'll
have Roman kick your ass.
- Oh, yeah?
'Cause you're too weak or, uh, too stupid
to fight your own battles?
- Will you two shut the f*ck up already?
You guys are giving me a headache.
- I think I can take care
of that headache for ya.
Oh, hey, I was just kidding.
- p*ssy.
Ryan, help me with the generator.
- Whoa.
I sense a great disturbance.
- You're a disturbance.
- Whoa, hey, jeez.
Don't do that.
Check this out.
You think this is blood?
- I told you, dude, if
you kept picking at it,
it was gonna bleed eventually.
- No, no, no, seriously,
it, it smells like blood.
- Yeah, man, some animal
probably came in here
and had its period on it.
- Yeah, or maybe, uh, it was used
for some kind of sacrifice.
- Hey, you two fuckheads
done screwing around?
Help me get this generator going
before we can't see what we're doing.
- Yeah, we do, we know.
Come on, let's help.
Come on.
- Yeah, okay.
- Slow.
- My groin.
Oh, my God, okay.
Ah, that's putrid.
- No way in hell am I using that.
I don't care, I'll hold it for three days.
- I don't think I'll
ever want to pee again.
- It's okay, ladies.
We'll just have Elliot clean it.
- All right, hope you guys enjoy this.
Tonight, we feast on steaks.
Tomorrow, we fend for ourselves.
- Um, what's that mean?
- It means we fish and hunt for our food.
If we don't catch anything, we don't eat.
- Okay, whose stupid f*cking
idea was this whole trip?
First, no beds, no TV, no
bathroom, and now no food?
This is bullshit.
- Who are you calling?
- The Hilton.
I'm gonna stay in a real vacation spot
with food service and mani-pedis.
Goddammit.
Now no service.
- So now what?
- You ready for it?
I can't hear you.
I said, are you ready for it?
- I'm ready for it, babe.
Come on, give it to me.
- Are you sure you can handle it?
- I can handle it, baby.
Come on.
- 'Kay, baby, here it comes.
Open wide.
- Oh, God.
- Are you sure you don't want the lube?
- Oh, God.
- Awesome steak, Drew.
Hey, I'll tell you what.
Those guys, they don't
know what they're missing.
Mm.
- I figured you might be
thirsty after that workout.
- Um, no thanks.
- Is something wrong?
I mean, you haven't been
drinking or smoking lately.
- Um-
- Thought we was going
all out this weekend, you know,
celebrate the next chapter.
- We were.
- 'Kay, so what am I missing?
- Roman, um,
I'm, I'm pregnant.
- We're gonna have a baby?
- I, I don't know.
- What do you mean you don't know?
Are you pregnant or not?
- I am.
It's just I don't know if I can have it.
- Why not?
- Because we, we literally just graduated
high school, Roman.
- So?
- I have things that I
wanna do before,
I wanna travel across
Europe, be an au pair
for a little Italian family,
go to fashion school.
Not to mention the fact that
my parents are gonna k*ll me
when they find out.
- Don't, don't be so dramatic.
- Are you kidding?
You've met them.
My father literally cut me off for a week
just because I got a scratch on the BMW.
- So you're worried your
daddy won't support you?
- No.
- Listen, you don't need his money.
We don't.
I got, I got tons saved.
Besides, I can make tons of money working
at my uncle's construction company.
We're good.
- And what about football?
You had your heart set on that.
You had scholarships-
- No.
- and everything.
- No.
I got my heart set on you.
- Bravo, bra f*cking vo.
I, I can see why the ladies like you.
- Eat a d*ck.
- Such a way with words.
You know, you, sir, are quite,
uh, the cunning linguist.
- I had cunnilingus with
your mom last night.
- Thought you said you
were playing video games
with Drew all night.
- Yeah, Elliot's mom was there, too.
She f*cked the winner.
- Guys, what the f*ck?
My mom's like 70.
- Yeah, and she's pretty
spry for an old lady, too.
- And then, Ralphie hacked up his sister
while her boyfriend
stood there and watched,
knowing there was nothing he could do,
except try to hold his guts in long enough
until help arrived.
The parents came home and found their son
butchering their beloved daughter.
They had him committed at some institution
where I heard he likes to
dress in women's clothes.
- Guys, isn't there, like,
a mental hospital somewhere around here?
- Sure, dipwad,
there's a mental hospital
through the woods just over the bend.
- That's not how I heard it at all.
- Well, who the f*ck asked
you, you f*cking clit licker?
Why the f*ck are you here anyway?
- Yeah, like, who invited you?
- I did.
She's my friend.
I wanted her to come.
- All right, guys, uh,
I don't know about you,
but I think I'm gonna turn in.
Wanna to come to bed with me, hon?
- I'm actually going to
spend the night with Rachel.
You don't mind, do you?
She's just a little uncomfortable.
I wanna make her feel welcome.
- Uh, no, that's, that's fine.
Do what you gotta do.
- Hey, Ry, she was like,
"I just wanna make her feel comfortable.
You don't mind, do you, sweetie?"
- What does that mean, anyway?
- I think that means they're gonna do it.
- See, see, that's why he's
not getting none from her
'cause she's already getting
some from the bean flicker.
- All right, whatever, you guys
make fun of me all you want.
I'm going to bed, my bed,
my nice, warm, comfy bed.
You guys have fun sleeping out here
with all the coyotes and stuff.
- At least we're getting laid.
- Yeah, you do that.
- There's coyotes out here?
- Jason, you assh*le, you
scared the sh*t out of us.
- That was the idea.
- Oh, yeah?
Let's see who's gonna be laughing
after I kick your ass, fuckface.
- Yeah, I got a g*n,
so why don't you take
it easy there, Campbell?
- Damn, maybe I should become a cop.
- What are you doing here?
Thought you said you couldn't
come up this weekend.
Aren't you supposed to be working?
- Yeah, well, I got a call
about an underage party
up in these woods about a
mile from you guys' campsite.
Turned out to be some
kids with White Claw,
so I let them go.
Figured, you know, while I was up here,
a little duty calls for
a little booty call.
- Oh, yeah?
what if I don't agree?
- Missy, you don't
wanna make that mistake.
- What're you gonna do, arrest me?
- You have the right to remain naked.
- Guess we're taking our leave.
Good night, see you in the morning.
- Jason wait.
Can we borrow your handcuffs?
- No, no, not yet, not yet.
- Hey, yo, hey, yo, do you
ever try to get yourself off,
like, you know, like, when
you're wiping your ass?
- Bro, what the f*ck
are you talking about?
- You know, like, you, you know,
when, uh, you're wiping your ass,
and you're sitting on the toilet.
You're wiping your ass,
and you stick your finger
up your anus, and you just,
like, put some pressure
on that rectum, and if you do it just so-
- You have issues, man.
You need to get laid.
- I'm glad you came.
- Yeah, so am I.
I needed that.
- No, jerk, I mean, I'm glad
you came here to be with me.
- Oh, yeah, I mean, sure.
What the hell am I sitting on?
- I didn't think I'd see you this weekend.
- Yeah, obviously.
- When are you gonna tell her?
- When am I gonna tell who what, exactly?
- Don't be a d*ck,
your wife about us.
- Babe, can we not do this right now?
- Jason, you said that, after I graduated,
you would leave her.
- Yeah, but I didn't
specify which graduation.
- Jason, you said-
- Look, I know what I said, okay?
And it's complicated, all right?
- It's always something.
- Babe, I didn't come here to fight.
- No, you came here because
duty calls for a booty call.
That's all I am to you, right?
- No, of course not.
- f*ck you.
- Look, I'm working on it, okay?
- How?
- Just trust me, okay?
Please, come on.
Honey?
- Fine.
- I love you.
- I love you too, jerk.
Are you leaving?
- Yeah, I gotta get back.
You know that.
- Oh, yeah, I thought we'd
have a little more time.
- I mean, I wish I could,
but I, I gotta get back.
Sheriff finds out I'm
gone, I'll be dead meat.
- Okay.
- I want you to have a good rest
of the weekend up here, okay?
And when you get back, text me,
and we'll talk about things.
Okay?
- Oh, I love this song.
Baby, dance with me.
- Babe, I'm way too f*cked up
to dance with you.
- I'll dance with you, Anya.
- Actually, I, I think
I'm gonna call it a night.
- Yeah, I think we should turn in, too.
Ryan, let's go.
- Hmm?
- Now.
- Hold on.
- When I say move,
I mean move your ass.
Don't make me get your leash.
- Where'd everyone go?
- Deputy Freed, report.
Sheriff is asking if you've
found the illegal gathering yet.
- That's an affirmative, dispatch.
Uh, I'm on my outta the woods now.
Just got a bit turned around.
- Copy that.
Sheriff needs assistance
near mile marker 17,
head-on collision, possible fatalities,
three, maybe more, over.
- Copy that, on my way.
Oh, sh*t.
- What is that?
Is someone k*lling a dog?
- It's coming from over there.
- All right, all right, all right,
all right, all right.
Get the other leg, get the other leg.
Let's dunk it.
Guys, we got this.
Dude, I'm taking him home, dude.
He's freaking adorable.
- Right there, right there,
right there, right there,
right there, right there.
Right there, right there, right there.
- I can't control when
he's screaming like that.
- Ah, let me go, let me go,
please, please, let me go.
It hurts so much.
- I can't, oh, my God.
Dude, I love hearing him scream.
It's contagious.
Hold still.
- One more time, right there.
- What the hell are you guys doing?
- Well, we found a bow and arrow,
and since you said we needed food,
we thought it would be a
good idea if we go hunting.
- Tying Elliot to a tree and sh**ting him
with arrows is not hunting, man.
What the f*ck?
- Dude, we know.
That's why we thought we'd practice first.
- Do you guys realize
how dangerous that is?
What if you sh**t him in the head?
- Drew, Drew, help me out, man.
These guys grabbed me while
I was sleeping in my tent,
and pulled me out here into the forest,
and tied me to this tree,
and then they sh*t an arrow in my thigh.
- Shut the f*ck up, you p*ssy.
- Maybe you guys should
just stick to fishing, huh?
You're not even holding it right.
- Oh, is that so?
Well, who d*ed and elected
you the mayor of Bowtown?
- I won three state championships.
Trust me, I know how to sh**t an arrow.
- Some bullshit.
- Yeah, I mean,
like, prove it, right?
- I don't have to prove it.
- Well, we're, uh, not letting Elliot down
until you do, so.
- Yeah, whatever, I'll
cut him free myself.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, no, you won't.
- Have you guys been
drinking all night or what?
What's wrong with you?
- We just wanna see your
skills, Mr. State Championship.
- Yeah, one time, hit the beer can.
- Go ahead, sh**t the fucker.
- Drew, don't you dare.
What if you miss?
- I don't miss.
- Hey, uh, guys, don't
I get a say in this?
- No.
- Drew, come on, don't do this, man.
- Just hold still, Elliot.
Shut the f*ck up.
- Holy sh*t.
- Untie him, now.
- How are you doing lately?
- Uh, better, I guess.
- Yeah?
- How 'bout you?
- I'm all right.
- What are
you doing next weekend?
- Um, I don't know.
Wanna hang out?
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm?
But feel like I haven't
seen you enough lately.
- I know.
- Jenna, hey.
I was looking for you.
- Well, you found me.
- I'll talk to you later.
- 'Kay.
- How are you?
- Fine.
- You know, I was thinking.
We came all of this way to
spend the weekend together.
- Uh-huh.
- You've been spending every
second so far with Rachel.
- Does that bother you, Drew?
Because it shouldn't.
You've said it was okay if she came along.
- You sorta sprung it on me.
- Sprung it on you?
Oh, I'm sorry if I put you out, Drew.
- Put me out?
- Look, she's just having
a really hard time lately,
and I thought it would
do her good to get out.
- Yeah, that's fine.
I get that, but don't
do it at our expense.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Come on.
This weekend was supposed to be about us.
And you've been spending
every second so far with her.
I just wanna spend some
time with my girlfriend.
Is that too much to ask?
- Okay, I'm sorry.
- Really?
- Yes, you're right.
I have been ignoring, and
that's not fair to you.
- So can we salvage some of this weekend?
- I, I can't, not now.
I'm not ready.
I'm sorry, Drew, but you know how I feel.
- It's okay.
I understand.
- There you are.
I've been looking all
over the place for you.
I woke up, and everyone was just gone.
- Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
We were just f*cking around with Elliott.
You were pretty tired last night,
so I figured I'd let you sleep.
- Where is everyone?
- They went to the lake.
- So why aren't you guys there with them?
- We were, but this guy peed in the lake,
so they, they made us leave.
- You peed in the lake?
- I can't help it.
Being in the water makes me piss.
- What about when you're in the shower?
- There's a drain.
- Oh, my God.
You're disgusting.
- "Oh, my God, you're disgusting.
I have money.
I'm rich."
- Well, I wanna go swimming.
Can you show me where it is?
- In a minute, baby, I'm
pretty lit right now.
- Oh, come on.
Can you show me?
- Oh, my God, would you just chill?
Relax, okay?
Here, have a beer.
- No.
- Take a hit of the bong.
- I'm good.
- Just one rip.
- I said no, Ryan.
- Oh, my God, what is your problem?
What, are you pregnant or something?
No.
No.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You're pregnant?
- Don't say nothing.
- Why? This is excellent news.
- Because we are still
processing it ourselves.
- Just keep it to yourself, okay?
Don't say anything to
anyone, not even to Sara.
- Okay, I just, yeah, I'm
just so happy for you guys.
I'm gonna be an uncle, whoo, mm.
Mazel Tov!
Mm, I'm so happy.
This is so cool.
I'm gonna babysit, and
we're gonna watch movies,
and we're gonna all be best friends.
- Is someone there?
Yo, I know you're there.
Jenna?
Carli, is that you?
You got something to say to me, bitch,
come out here and say it.
If you think you're
scaring me, you're wrong.
Whatever, c**t.
- Dude, dude, I cleaned the
shitter from top to bottom.
I don't think it's ever been so clean.
- Good job.
- Thank you.
You think I can maybe
get my pants back now?
- Oh, yeah, um, me and
Ryan, we took all his pants,
and we ain't gonna give it back to him
until he finished cleaning.
Um, yeah, yeah, you can get 'em back.
You can fish them out the lake.
- The, the lake?
Uh, well, well, how, how far away is it?
I can't swim.
- That's not my problem.
- Babe?
- Dammit, where is it?
Didn't throw it that far.
- Hey, what you doing?
- Looking for my vib -
nothing, f*ck off.
- Okay, geez, I was just trying to help.
Oh, hey, if you, uh,
don't find it, you know,
I might be able to help
with a suitable replacement.
- What are you doing?
- Oh, nothing, I was just, um,
the, the outhouse was in
use, so I just came outside-
- Oh, my God, were you, you jerking off?
- No, no.
How, how dare you?
What?
- You are such a pervert.
Ah.
- Well, maybe I wouldn't be
if you would just have sex with me.
Figures.
Of course, it'd have to be this hand.
Oh, my eye.
- Sara, Sara.
Sara.
- You need to relax, girlfriend.
- You scared the sh*t out of me.
- Yeah, obviously.
What are you doing?
- Have you seen Sara?
- Have you tried her tent?
- Yeah, thanks.
- Yeah, uh.
- She wasn't in there,
and neither was Ryan.
And it doesn't look like they
were there last night either.
- Okay, maybe they found some
cave or something to do it in.
You know how they're always trying to find
some new, sick ways of having sex, ugh.
- I'm just worried.
I haven't seen her since
yesterday afternoon.
- Okay, she is fine, okay?
If she's with Ryan, there's
nothing to worry about.
They'll come back when they're sore.
- Yeah, maybe.
- Come on.
Roman and Drew are cooking breakfast.
- Not more fish?
- I would k*ll for a mimosa right now.
- It's so peaceful out here.
- Yeah.
My dad used to come up here
a lot when things got hairy
with work or my mom.
He'd just spend a few
days here, clear his head.
- I could stay up here forever,
just get away from everything, no worries,
no crime, no death.
- Whoa, that's a little morbid.
- Sorry, I was just thinking about my mom.
- Yeah, your dad said she passed away.
I'm sorry.
- She was m*rder*d, brutally m*rder*d.
- What?
- My dad just tells that to people
because it's just easier
for them to accept.
- I am, I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
- No, she had it coming.
- What?
- She was cheating on my dad for years.
Sometimes she'd be having sex
with two or three guys at the same time.
After the divorce, she got worse.
Oftentimes, the guys she was
with were less than stable.
This one guy, he became possessive of her.
He didn't like her messing around,
so he asked her to stop,
be with him and only him.
When she refused, he snapped.
He k*lled her.
- Jesus.
Is that why you don't want?
- I'm sorry.
I just need time.
- It's okay.
I understand now.
I just wish you would've told me sooner.
- I didn't want you to leave me.
I didn't want you to think
I was some kind of freak.
- I'd never think that, Jenna.
I love you.
- You're sweet.
- Promise me you'll
still f*ck me like that
when we have the baby?
- Mm-hmm.
- 'Kay, I'll be right back.
- Where you going now?
- Are you still gonna think
I'm sexy when I'm fat?
- I'll still think you're
sexy even when you're 80.
- Occupied.
Jesus.
- Where are you?
Where the f*ck are you?
- Hey, Roman.
- Show yourself now.
- Hey, Roman, what's wrong?
- Where is she?
- Who? Who are you talking about?
- Anya.
She went to the bathroom,
and she never came back.
I woke up, and she wasn't there,
and the outhouse, the outhouse, man.
Man, the outhouse.
- What about it, Roman?
Roman, what about it?
- Oh, my God, Drew, get over here.
- Jesus Christ.
The hell happened here?
- Somebody f*cking k*lled her, man.
- Calm down. We don't know that.
- Really?
Look at the place, Drew.
It's a f*cking blood bath.
- Then, where's the body, Carli, huh?
- Maybe they moved the body?
- m*therf*cker, I find out who did this-
- Hey, Roman, hold on just a minute here.
Jenna, you're not helping, all right?
Look, I refuse to believe we
have a k*ller in our midst.
That's like some bad Friday the 13th joke.
Has anybody seen Elliot?
Don't you get it?
I bet he's behind this whole thing, right,
some big practical joke
he's pulling on all of us.
That's where Ryan is.
That's where Sara is.
Roman, that's where Anya is, all of 'em.
I bet they're all standing
around in the woods right now
having a good laugh
at our expense.
Think about it.
It's the only thing that
makes sense, really.
- Well, very f*cking funny, you guys.
Elliot, when I see you,
I'm gonna f*cking k*ll you.
- Yeah, you guys, game's over.
Come out. You win.
- Maybe it's not a game.
- Of course, it is.
They're just not ready to end it yet.
Probably goes until one
of us survives, right?
That person's the winner.
Trust me, I know how Elliot works.
- Well, then who's next?
- Well, don't f*cking look at me.
I'm the f*cking toughest
one outta all of you.
Besides, Elliot knows
better than to f*ck with me.
- I just wish he didn't
f*ck with the outhouse.
Now where am I supposed to pee?
- In the f*cking bushes.
- How'd they make it look so real?
- Probably is real,
pig's blood or something.
- What was that for?
- Sorry, you just looked
so cute sleeping there.
Hey, a few of us are going for a walk.
Do you wanna come?
- No.
- You sure?
- Yeah, not really feeling too good.
Think I'm just gonna stay here and sleep.
- All right, well, I'll
come back in a little bit
to check on you.
- Tell you what, man.
Those fucks probably took off somewhere,
eating a pizza and a beer
right now, having a good time,
laughing at this whole thing.
- I don't know.
Neither of the cars are gone.
- They probably called
an Uber or something,
you know, or probably hiked.
- Yeah, I doubt that.
Elliot's a lazy bastard.
He complains if you park
too far away from the mall.
- Yeah, that's true.
- Hey, guys, we found a tire swing
by the clearing over there.
- You wanna go try it out?
- That sounds pretty f*cking lame.
- You're lame.
- What's that?
Oh, Ryan lost his head.
Hmm, I didn't realize
how heavy this thing was.
- f*ck is your problem?
Oh, sh*t.
You still think this is Elliot?
Look at it, Drew.
It's Ryan's f*cking head.
- Oh, sh*t.
- Drew, can we just
get outta here already?
- I'm with Jenna.
Let's leave now.
- You guys, we can't just leave.
What about the others, Sara, Anya, Elliot?
- What about them, Drew?
We haven't seen 'em.
They're probably f*cking dead, too.
- We don't know that.
- Then, where are they
if they're not dead?
- If they're dead, where
are the bodies, huh?
- Probably in the f*cking woods, Drew.
She was pregnant, man.
- What?
- Anya, she was f*cking pregnant.
Now, she's gone, f*cking k*lled her.
sh*t's f*cked up.
- Think about this rationally, all right?
Think about it.
Who, who k*lled her, right
in the middle of the woods?
- Maybe it was Ralphie.
- Shut the f*ck up, Carli.
Come on.
That's a f*cking story.
What if they're still
alive somewhere, all right?
What if, what if they're
hurt in the woods?
We gotta find 'em, our friends.
We gotta go and look
for 'em at least.
- You find them.
I'm leaving now.
- Let's just call the cops, okay?
- How?
There's no f*cking signal out here.
- Then, we call 'em from the road.
Come on, guys.
Let's get outta here now.
- Everybody, everybody just
hold on here for a second.
- Why are you so bent on
keeping us here, Drew?
- What?
- Maybe because you're the k*ller.
Maybe because you don't want us to leave
so you can k*ll us, too.
- Roman, you're talking crazy.
- I tell you what.
You ain't k*lling me,
not if I k*ll you first.
- Roman.
- Guys.
- Guys, stop.
- Guys.
- Guys, stop.
- Get up.
- Stop.
- Stop.
Quit.
- Get off.
- Are we ready to act like adults now?
Jenna, are you okay?
- I think so.
- We need to get outta here now.
- I ain't going anywhere with him.
- I didn't f*cking do anything.
- Roman, I'm pretty sure
that Drew is not the k*ller.
Look at him.
No one that scrawny can be a m*rder*r.
- I took his big ass down.
- You got lucky, fuckhead.
- How do we know Roman's not the k*ller?
- How do we know you're not, bitch?
- Hey, you don't you talk
to my f*cking girlfriend like that.
- f*ck you.
- Hey, here's a thought.
Where's Rachel?
- What?
No.
You guys, please, Rachel's not a k*ller.
- How do you know that?
- I, I just do.
- Not good enough.
- Look, at least let me talk to her first.
Okay, we're friends.
She'll be more open to talking to me.
- Or she'll k*ll you first.
- Rachel, come out here now.
We wanna talk to you.
- Rachel, hon, Ryan's dead.
Okay, we think the others might be, too.
And they think you did it,
even though they have no proof.
- Rachel, we know you're in there.
Don't make us drag you out.
- You guys, please stop.
You're probably scaring her.
- Good, then she'll know how we feel.
- This is some bullshit.
I'm gonna get her.
- No, Roman.
Please.
- Move
Rachel, don't try anything stupid.
- No, Rachel.
- She's dead, Jenna.
- Well, I guess she wasn't the k*ller?
- Told you, assh*le.
- Jenna, where are you going?
We have to get out of here.
- Drew, go get her.
We don't have time for this.
Go get her now.
- Jenna, we need to leave.
The k*ller's still out there.
- Seems to me she's
lying dead in her tent.
- Jenna, I'm sorry, okay?
Our minds are racing right now.
We're scared.
The k*ller's still out there,
and we have no idea who it is.
You know, we were just-
- I know what you were doing.
Blame the odd one.
Because if they're weird, they
must be a m*rder*r, right?
- Of course not, no.
I'm sorry. I really am.
- She was a good person, you know,
if you guys took the
time to get to know her
instead of just making fun of her.
She just wanted to be loved.
- Did you love her?
- Yes.
- I see.
- Drew, we were friends.
I loved her like a sister.
It's not the same as-
- As what?
- The way that I, I love you.
I'm ready.
- Now?
f*ck it.
- We can't just leave them here.
- All right, you stay here.
I'm gonna go get the cops.
f*ck.
- What's wrong?
- Fucker won't let us leave.
- What about Anya's car?
Maybe we can take that.
- He's f*cked that up, too.
- Hmm, maybe,
Roman, where are you going?
Roman.
Roman.
Guys, where are you?
Drew, Jenna.
Were you two having sex?
- Um.
- What the f*ck?
Roman and I could be out
there getting hacked to death,
and you two are in here
getting your freak on.
I mean, come on, even I have standards.
- What's going on? Where's Roman?
- I don't know.
He ran off into the woods.
I, I, I, he just took off.
I, maybe he saw the k*ller.
- He went after him?
Is he insane?
- What are we gonna do?
- We're getting the f*ck
out of here, that's what.
- The cars are sabotaged.
- f*ck.
- Gotcha, fucker.
Anya?
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
- Anything?
- Nothing, we're in the bum fucks.
- Oh, sh*t.
Oh, f*ck.
- What the hell are you doing?
- Looking for a w*apon,
you know, trying to find
something we can use.
Well, don't just stand there.
Help me. Come on.
This will have to do.
- I don't see anyone out there.
- Get behind me.
Jenna.
Carli, what are you doing?
- Carli.
- No, Carli.
We gotta get outta here now.
- What about Carli?
- He ran after her.
There's nothing we can do for her.
We have to take our chance,
and we go now, all right?
What's wrong?
- It's my ankle.
I hurt it when I jumped.
I can't walk.
- We need to run.
- I can't. I twisted it bad.
- Then, I'll carry you.
- No, Drew, stop.
You can't.
- What are you saying?
Jenna, I'm not gonna leave you here.
- Don't you get it?
If you take me with you,
I'll just get us both k*lled.
Your only chance is to go by yourself.
- Then, then I stay.
- Why are you being so stupid?
- Why are you?
- Just go.
- Jenna, I love you.
I'm not gonna leave you here to die.
- Oh, Drew, you're such a fool.
- Jenna, Jenna.
- What?
- When I tell you to,
I need you to go out that window
and run as far away as you can, all right?
- Drew, I can't, my leg.
- Jenna, you need to trust me.
I know it hurts, baby, but do it.
You need to get as far from
here away as you can, all right?
Go now.
What are you waiting for?
- Confused?
It's not that hard if you think about it.
You even had the idea earlier
when you thought this was
all Elliot's little game,
animal blood, or more
specifically, deer and intestines.
Rachel covered herself in
them to throw you guys off.
You know, it's funny.
The only person that could hunt
was never asked to do any.
- I knew it.
- Close, Drew.
Want me to let you in on a little secret?
I'm Ralphie.
- What?
- I told Carli she got the story wrong.
It wasn't some little boy named Ralphie
who k*lled his sister.
It always has to be a guy, right?
Because girls can't possibly
have homicidal tendencies.
Well, guess what.
Having a sister who also
gave birth to you tends
to f*ck with your head.
So yeah, I k*lled my sismom.
- Rachel's parents were,
of course, devastated
by such a tragedy, especially her father.
I mean, his familial booty call was gone.
He had Rachel locked up.
- Had her put away at least
until she was of age.
- Rachel was released back
into her parents' custody,
where she was forced to pick
up where her sister left off.
- Now, if you thought
Rachel was crazy before,
imagine what being
forced to be a sex sl*ve
to your own father/grandfather would do.
All those murderous tendencies?
Magnified a hundred fold.
And sex is a major trigger point.
So much so that the day comes
where Rachel finally snaps.
Daddy liked to play rough.
I played rougher.
- And when Rachel meets someone
who's just as disgusted by all these girls
who are so willing to
have sex with anyone,
well, it's a match made in heaven.
- Or hell.
- And this weekend was
the perfect time to set
about ridding the world
of disgusting sluts.
- And it was fun.
- We took turns.
- And all that remains is you.
- But you're not a virgin.
We had sex.
- What is he talking about?
Well, with all the k*lling we were doing,
it got me kind of excited
in a different way.
- So you f*cked him?
- It was a momentary
lapse in judgment, okay?
I told you, all the
v*olence got me excited.
- You're just as bad as them.
- I am not.
Those girls were whores.
- You are a whore.
How could you do this to me?
You lied to me.
You're just like everyone else.
- You saved me.
- I should've let her k*ll you.
- But you said you loved me.
- You tried to k*ll
me, you f*cking psycho.
- No, no, I didn't.
I tried to give you a way out.
I told you to leave me.
But you just had to play
the noble f*cking hero.
- Stay the f*ck away from me.
- But Drew, it's me.
- What the f*ck is that supposed to mean?
Nothing.
- But I love you.
- f*ck you.
- Drew, you're making me mad.
And you know what happens when I get mad.
- I'm warning you.
- Babe?
Horny Teenagers Must Die! (2024)
Moderator: Maskath3