01x02 - So Sexy She Might Pass Out

[bunniefuu]

This scissor blade was left behind by

the same scumbag that k*lled my father.

And now you're going to tell me who

this thing belongs to? Satsuki Kiryuin.

Ryuko. Matoi. Is your name right? Interesting.

Then you must be Isshin Matoi's daughter.

I knew it. You know who my father was.

You're bleeding too much, Ryuko. You said you wanted blood.

You're getting full now. No, but in about

five minutes, you're going to lose consciousness.

Why did you say that before?

The. We'll pick this up later. Satsuki Kiryuin.

Count on it. After her. She's getting away.

Don't bother, my lady. She'll be back

eventually. Leave her be. Till then.

Lady Satsuki. You're as dazzling as always.

Your team is careful. It's hot.

So the new girl has a.

Whoa. No way. It's a half naked chick.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, yo.

Our. But you stinkin pervert. You know who you're messing with?

I'm the crazy bitch from contra with the scythe.

Crap. My scissor. Here you go. Thanks.

Watch it, Marco. He was trying to mess with me.

Geez, Dad, What are you doing? Dad? Waiting. Your dad.

I'm so sorry. Wow. I'm seeing stars.

You got a heck of a punch.

I'll say she does. I was in trouble

at school, and she saved my life.

You were totally badass. I'll swing in that scissor

blade around dressed up like a hooker.

Only a psycho would fight with your boobs hanging out. Shut it.

I got my reasons for that, you d*ck.

What you do that for? I carried

your half naked ass back here. Damn it.

If b*ating the bejesus out of my hubby

in Mataro makes you feel better, you just go right on ahead.

What if you're wondering who patched you up? It was Daddy.

Believe it or not, he's a back alley doctor.

His claim to fame is he's k*lled

way more patients than he saved.

Yeah, that's not a good thing. Please.

At least the dead ones can't sue the crap out of you.

Am I right or am I right? That's right.

I hope you're hungry. It's not fancy, but it's filling.

Dig in. My mom's the best cook in the world.

Over there. You got some croquettes filled with I don't know what.

And in the pot, there's miso soup

with all sorts of unknown things in it.

Oh, don't listen to her. I only use Non-poisonous ingredients.

Hurry, before it's all gone. But.

Don't get fat dog. You're both outside.

He eats with a lot of gusto. So we call him guts.

Eat up, little lady. You're looking pale after all that hemorrhaging.

You sit there, eat

the masses. There's such fools.

Pigs in human clothes domesticated by the establishment.

They were born to be governed by myself and Honnoji Academy.

Using the Goku uniforms as our weapons,

we will carve a path to humanity's future.

I've always marveled at how our schools

make students wear m*llitary inspired uniforms.

The boys high collared uniform comes from the army

and the girls uniform comes from the Navy.

In our country, the uniforms the youth

are forced to wear are just for learning.

But at Honnoji Academy, we have designed our uniforms for combat.

They will become the symbols of our control over the pigs.

You members of the sewing club are

at the heart of our conquest and liberation of humanity.

Take care as you work. Thank you

for your words of encouragement, milady.

Tennis Club Captain Umeko Hakodate Senior Class t reporting.

Are you ready for the Hokkaido inter-league match? Yes, ma'am.

The club members are training hard as we speak.

Those Northern Hicks will feel the might of Honnoji Academy.

And you, Lady Satsuki. They'll be shaking in their shoes.

We've gone to a lot of trouble

to hide the goal of this match.

If the tennis club wins, the academy

gets control of all northern Japan.

So don't screw this up. Understood, sir.

A gift from Lady Satsuki. A tennis spec,

athleticism augmenting two star Goku uniform.

I'm getting my very own two star Goku uniform.

I'm honored. Thank you, milady. Just see

to it you succeed. Without a doubt, milady.

I'll make sure the tennis club trains even harder.

We will win the match at all costs.

Why don't you wear a Goku uniform, Miss? You're more than worthy.

I have my sword. It is more than sufficient for me.

Then perhaps it is a question of

the uniform being worthy of you.

Hey, you. Are you awake?

I wish I knew what the hell you are.

Sin Kitts. Stop talking. You don't put me on right now.

I'll force you to put me on. Oh, my God. What kind of kinky

outfit are you? This is what I am.

Yeah, well, that doesn't answer the question.

Come on. Damn it! Get off of me!

Get off! Get off, Get off, Get off,

Get off! If you don't come off, I'm gonna rip.

How the heck did that happen? This is our power.

I awakened when I drank your blood.

And when you put me on. Or rather,

when I am worn by you, we can activate that power.

What are you really? I don't know.

What? Don't give me that. You are

just telling me how you work.

I can explain the current phenomena, but there

is still much I do not know what you call memory.

I have gaps in mine. I can't remember many things.

Well, then, what do you remember? I

remember the man who made me. He had a beard, an eye patch,

and he wore a white lab coat.

He was stooped, wore sandals. He used a cane,

and he had a mouse on his shoulder.

That sounds exactly like my dad.

Dad? Yeah, he is my father. Isshin Matoi.

I'm Ryuko. Why did he make you?

Hey, if I got you, then maybe I can b*at those assholes.

You're coming with me. Sunsets. Sunsets? Yeah.

Everyone needs a name, even you. And

since my blood woke you up,

it's perfect. Cause Sandcats means fresh blood.

Here I come. Satsuki Kiryuin.

You go. We got. We have to hurry. Any breakfast?

If only for school again. I'm gonna get expelled. Hurry.

Big gap between the rich and the poor here. Huh?

That's because the city is ruled over by Lady Satsuki.

The top tier students live in the ritzy area.

Lower tier students like us get the slums.

Your status at school determines where you live.

Pretty straightforward, isn't it? Oh, that reminds me.

Here you go. My mom said that you need a.

Please do stay. That's what you say.

What does he want? I think we

got bigger things to worry about.

Okay. What's the big idea, huh?

I take it you're the transfer student

who was rude to Lady Satsuki?

Well, I'm the captain of the girls tennis club.

Umeko Hakodate. Pleased to meet you. As a member of the club,

Mako Mankanshoku hasn't fulfilled her obligations.

So we're purging the girl. Would she do that was so wrong.

Oh, she skipped yesterday's club practice, and anyone

who fails to come to practice will

suffer the million cannonball serves.

But you're not even in the club, so butt out.

What? Mako wasn't at practice yesterday because

that Jaga boxer was holding her hostage.

Yeah, well, she needed permission for that. Begin.

Are you kidding me? Mako, I got this.

You better split or you're gonna be late. Okay.

Thanks. But I'll see you later. So,

does this mean you want to take her place? Might as well.

I kind of owe her for dinner and a bed.

You're funny, but if you think you're

hot stuff just because you b*at Fukuroda, think again.

Huh? I'm gonna shred those Goku uniforms

right off your bodies. Come on. Seconds.

Hey, kids. Come on, Let's do this. What's wrong with you, man?

She's talking to her clothes. We haven't

even started, and I'm already disappointed.

Die. Give me a sec. I'm not ready.

Love. That's it wasn't much of a challenge.

Mm. Uh, poor kid.

Uh. Well, come back to the land of the living, huh?

Wait. Aren't you a teacher? That's right.

I'm your homeroom teacher. Eichiro. Mizuki.

You had a big day. I hope

you learned something after that b*ating.

Oh, my God. Did you address me? Yep.

And now that you're awake, it's time

to teach you a thing or two about your body. You can't.

What do you do? I can't move.

Would you calm down? What'd you do? It's anesthetic. Acupuncture.

By the way, looks like your blood's running hot.

Mind if I take a little of it?

No. I hate needles. No, don't. Hi.

Hi. I bet you're wondering why you're

Kamui didn't activate when you wanted it to.

More. Feed me, more feed me more blood.

Look who decided to wake up.

Ryoko. You dumb ass. You totally left

me hanging. Okay, guys, let's calm down.

Now, do you understand? What are you talking

about? I'm talking about your Kamui.

Your blood wakes it up. I have

no idea what this Kamui thing is.

Are you talking about my sailor uniform? Correct.

Your late father, Isshin Matoi, made it.

It's more powerful than any Goku uniform.

And the one who masters wearing it will be the one

with a chance at b*ating Satsuki Kiryuin.

Okay. Who are you? First, you have

to prove to me you deserve the answer.

Then I'll give it to you. How do I prove it?

b*at the tennis club Captain Umeko Hakodate.

If you can't master this Kamui and defeat her,

you don't stand a chance against Satsuki.

Uh oh. Better get moving. Afternoon classes are starting.

And take this with you. It's called a taco.

It makes giving blood to your chamoy easier.

Fine. I'll go pound her into the dirt.

But after that, you're going to tell

me everything I want to know.

Looking good, Hakodate. Thank you, sir. It's

all because of my tennis bet Goku

uniform I got from Lady Satsuki.

The tennis club is going to own

Hokkaido at the match. You can bet on it.

Explain. We have an unmotivated club member, so we're purging her.

That's enough of that. Will you go?

The new girls come back here for another

b*ating, huh? You're right. That's it.

This time I'm going to knock you on your asses.

Let's do it. Then kick.

Ooh, that looked painful and embarrassing.

You masochistic stripper. Oh, bite me. I'm not a stripper.

Could have fooled me. Ready? million.

You're disqualified. New girl. What? I'll give

you credit for evading Hakodate's att*ck,

but slicing balls in half is against the rules.

Sure, you won the fight, but you lost the match.

You do know you're standing on a tennis court, right?

So if you didn't win, according to

the rules of tennis, you didn't win.

What? Oh, come on, now. You're getting picky.

What about what happened yesterday? Yeah, well, that was yesterday.

You mother. This is crazy. When we were boxing, Doesn't matter.

You're disqualified. No, she totally won.

We'll go on. She won. She won. And I can prove it.

Okay, Go ahead and step in and save me yesterday.

I'd be totally dead right now. So even

though technically she lost the match because of friendship, she totally won.

And everyone on the planet knows that if you

win with friendship, you win at life.

But if you guys are gonna cheat,

you leave her no choice where you go in.

You hear even in tennis. Even in

tennis, even in tennis, you win.

Uh uh. If she wants to challenge me,

the captain of the tennis club to

a tennis match, then it's her funeral.

Here you go. Knock your socks off.

Uh.

All right, I got you. Come on, then. Let's do this.

This will be one game and one game only.

Who's going to serve first? Hey. Got your back.

If the rookie wants to serve, it's fine by me.

Awesome. Then let's get this thing rolling.

Watch out. Here it.

Uh huh. Love , huh?

Nice reflexes. I'm just getting warmed up.

And speaking of warmed up, I hope you are,

because you're about to feel the might

of my tennis spec athleticism augmenting two star Goku uniform.

Motor mouth.

This time I'm ready for it.

Go.

Love dirty. Too bad. I knew you were going to do that.

I put a special spin on that one.

Oh, you're flashing the crowd. Where are you going? Okay, that's done.

And fault. Oh, come on.

Double fault. Love .

We'll go. This is your last. What are

you waiting for? Hurry up and serve already.

Ryuko. Use your scissor blade. Trust me,

it's the only thing strong enough that can

hold up against our power. Got it. Mako my scissor.

That's it.

Okay, then I'm back in the game. Oh, that's not regulation.

No, it's fine. Hakodate.

Keep playing. Show her the power of your

two star uniform at once, milady.

Same as always. You standing up there

on your pedestal like some queen giving

orders to your slaves down below. Huh? What a poser.

I'm just here to observe. Let's see

how much power you can draw from that Kamui.

You bitch. How do you know this thing is called a Kamui?

Oh, please. Your opponent is waiting over there.

I'm going to use you as target

practice to loosen up for the Hokkaido match.

Let's get you loosened up then Don't.

I've got my trainee to fall back on. She's got nothing.

Who needs training when you're pissed off?

Sidney Sussex.

You go. Oh, man, what a bummer.

Well, looks like today's game is a wash. Oh.

Not quite. You cocky little bitch. Wait,

Guiomar. She's right. It's over. The new girl wins.

Lady Satsuki.

Now that we're face to face again,

I want to know if you're the one who k*lled my dad.

What the. If you wish to know the answer, fight me for it.

Ryuko try to b*at her within two

minutes any longer and you'll pass out again.

Maybe you shouldn't drink so much of my blood.

Secret sword. Bokuzen. Its blade is sharper

than yours. It can cut through anything. Even a commonly.

Can't keep this up. She's too strong.

Time I see you.

We're going to finish this thing. Let's bail. Marco.

Forgive me, my lady. I underestimated her.

Hakodate to no star and set up an inter-league

match with the sumo club for Hokkaido.

Just as I thought. Kamui's are quite powerful.

You have my attention. Ryuko. Matoi.

Satsuki Kiryuin, the owner of another Kamui

against such overwhelming power. Ryuko and I

are helpless. Can we win Ryuko?

Next time on k*ll a k*ll Junkets.