05x09 - The Useless Hand

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Fargo". Aired: April 2014 to current.*
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A drifter named Lorne Malvo arrives in small-town Minnesota and influences the population with his malice and v*olence, including put-upon insurance salesman Lester Nygaard.
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05x09 - The Useless Hand

Post by bunniefuu »

Whatever it is, just name it.

I'll go get it, I swear.

Or we can go get it together.

Yeah?

What do you want? You want dr*gs?

I got a f*cking evidence room
like a CVS, bro.

Everything in there.

Blow, meth, Oxy.

Get you a shopping cart,
you'll be tripping balls

for the next ten years, huh?

You want g*ns?

Armor? Huh?

I got a friggin' flamethrower.
No joke. All yours.

You like titties?

Huh?

Nice 'tang, clean girls, huh?

Young.

Sounds pretty good, huh?

I'm sure it gets lonely out here.

Fucker, I'm talking to ya!

A rabbit screams

because a rabbit is caught.

Knows only that it wants to live.

Try again in f*cking English, bro.

Oh, f*ck. Help. Help.

sh*t. Help. Hel... Oh, sh...

Help! Help! Help!

An old woman

watches young men play a game.

- She drinks.
- What?

She drinks because her own son

has spit the nipple from his mouth.

She bothers no one.

What are you talking...

And yet,

you k*lled her.

- I...
- Yes.

Eye.

Your eyes.

No.

As the Bible says,

what is taken

must be given.

- This for that.
- My God...

No...

- No, wait.
- Shh.

Quiet, rabbit.

Wait.

- Quiet.
- Wait. Wait! Oh, please, no.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, co...

Come on.

Come on.

Damn it.

Roy.

- Gator?
- Nothing.

Balls-deep, maybe.

You talk to the governor?

Unavailable, they tell
me, until further notice.

It turned.

The tide. Can you feel it?

Rally the patriots.

Tell Odin we're gonna need
'em all and to come heavy.

Then close the gate.

Dig in.

This is our Masada.

What about...

Okay.

Most I ever felt I felt for that woman.

Well, this morning I'm thinking...

I don't ever want to
feel that way again.

So...

Bury her.

sh*t.

Oh.

You've reached Danish Graves, esquire.

I'm not here to take...

You've reached Danish Graves.

His cell was turned
off at 11:45 last night.

- Where?
- Stark County. Tillman Ranch.

Do you think...

- You want me to call the governor?
- No.

I'm done f*cking around.

Tell Jerome to call the orange idiot.

It's time I got something for my money.

- Farr.
- It's happening.

- Sorry?
- They're raiding the Tillman Ranch.

FBI's on their way.

- How do you know that?
- I can't be there.

I'm on a different side now.

But you got to go save her.

Mrs. Lyon.

- If she's still...
- Message received.

In transit.

Mayday, Mayday.

This is a code
ten-double-zero. Officer down.

All patriots respond.

I have a m*llitary ambush inbound,

and this is America's sheriff
issuing a call to arms.

They're coming for me the way
they came for Ammon and LaVoy.

And don't be fooled.

After they m*rder me,
they're coming for you next.

So grab your beans and your b*ll*ts

and bring your big f*ckin' hammer,

'cause it's balls to the wall time.

And rally right here on me.

If you're close by, get here now.

I'll keep 'em faced forward
while you box 'em in.

We'll show these godless Huns
how a patriot dies a'singing.

Hooah.

- Can you get that, hon?
- Yep.

Daddy's phone.

Hi, squirt.

Mommy?

- Oh, God.
- Where are you?

Let-let... let me talk to her, honey.

- Daddy wants to talk to you.
- Right there, yeah.

Oh. I-I-I... Are you-are you okay?

Yeah.

W... Well... where are you?

I...

Hang up the phone.

Uh, who...

Who, uh, who-who's there with you?

Hon?

Hang up the phone or I sh**t.

Dot?

Do...

Ya happy now?

- What?
- Coming back here.

Ruining everything.

I didn't...

This must be a time machine for you.

He didn't even change the sheets.

We sleep in your filth.

Can't escape it.

Your curtains,

- f*cking pictures on the walls.
- Please.

I just want to go home.

So you can have us all arrested

and make orphans out of my girls?

When did he give you that, hm?

- Shut up.
- Let me guess.

You said something a little bitchy.

Like, "Would you turn off
the lights in the kitchen?"

Maybe you weren't fast
enough with his dinner?

Yeah, I said shut up.

We can end it.

Today.

You and me.

He's weak.

You know it.

And then he'll never hit you again.

Or your girls.

f*ck it. I'll k*ll you myself.

Be careful when you put them down there

because they're twitchy.

Right. Got you.

Can't smell that?

Doors and windows... get 'em open.

You got played. She was in here.

Search the house.

Marco.

Marco.

Jesus, kid. What the f*ck did you do?

Now, honestly,
what's the point of being a billionaire

if I can't have somebody k*lled?

Olmstead.

Indira, it's me. It's Dorothy.

- It's Dorothy.
- Bill, I'm gonna have to call you back.

- Yeah, we're...
- Let me talk to her.

Dorothy?

- What?
- Where's Danish?

Have you seen him?

k*lled.

Roy k*lled him.

What was he even doing there?

For me.

He came to save me.

Are you safe?

For now.

But like a fish on the floor.

Listen to me.

An army's coming. I
called in some favors.

State and federal.

You need to get somewhere safe.

- Hide.
- Why?

What do you mean, "why"?

Why help now?

Don't get maudlin.

I need to know.

Because this busybody made me.

Oh, please.

Nobody can make you do anything.

- If I don't make it back...
- Quiet, now.

No daughter of mine

is going down on the one-yard line.

So put your big-girl pants on

and get in the fight. You hear me?

Thank you.

Dorothy, don't get in the fight.

Just keep your phone with you, okay?

The police can triangulate
your location with it.

Is there someplace you can
hide? Someplace they won't look.

Tell them to hurry.

There's an army here, too.

And they're looking for me.

Let's be on our toes. Looks
like they're expecting us.

Here we go.

- I'm here.
- She's on a cell phone.

I texted you the number.

You can track her location with it.

Got it.

I tried you at the
precinct. They said you quit.

Not in the way you mean.

Look...

promise you'll get her out.

- Okay?
- Affirmative.

Good luck.

Eye in the sky says


dug in along the fence
line, hugging the structures.

So we cut the fence, come
at them from the rear.

Assume women and children.

It's hurtful you think
the state doesn't care

- about women and children.
- Did I say that?

- It's in the eyes.
- Uh, sir, if I may?

- And this guy's a sheriff?
- A famous one.

He's Gary Cooper, basically.

Well, you should get his autograph.

We got a phone number for his majesty?

- Don't tell me you want to negotiate.
- Uh, sir?

Quantico teach you not to
interrupt a superior officer

- when he's bantering?
- Yes, sir.

Sorry, sir. It's just, this is our case.

- Any chance they surrender?
- No, sir.

These guys talk about


They're here to fight.

Sir? Witt Farr, state police.
I've got news on the hostage.

- There's a hostage?
- Don't look at me.

- He's your man.
- Uh, yes, sir. Dorothy Lyon.

The ex-wife.

She's on site, free for
now with a live cell phone,

- but we got to move fast.
- Like I said, women and children.

I'd like permission to lead
a team to rescue her, sir.

Who are you, again?

State Trooper Witt Farr, sir.

You took the b*llet at the Gas 'N Go.

Yes, sir. And this woman saved my life.

She goes on the list, then.

- The list?
- Things to do.

Sir, the FBI considers Dorothy Lyon

a strong asset in any
possible prosecution.

Okay, she goes to the top of the list.

Coordinate a rescue plan
with tactical. Nothing happens

- without a green light.
- Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Need to ask you something, boy.

Are you h*tler at the Reichstag
or h*tler in the bunker?

Tell your boys there's sandwiches

- and coffee in the works.
- First days

or last days, I'm asking.

See, the man I let my daughter

hitch her wagon to was a conqueror,

but all I see now

is a hobo digging a ditch.

And for what?

Piece of ass he couldn't
control when he had the chance?

Ham or turkey, ask 'em.
Nobody sh**t till I say go.

You're on my land.

Sheriff, I'm FBI SAC Cal Docherty.

I have tactical command.

And we have got a warrant
to search this property

signed by a federal judge.

I don't recognize your authority.

Well, we're coming in anyway.

You ever been in a
firefight, Mrs. "Ja-queen"?

- I was in one yesterday.
- Was it against

a piglet and about


from Iraq sh**ting towelheads?
'Cause I guarantee you

this one's gonna end
a little differently.

It was a piglet that went
missing from the sheriff's

- storage depot, wasn't it?
- Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna say it again.

You're on my land.

Sheriff, I'm gonna name two names.

You're gonna show me
two faces. Danish Graves.

Is that a man or a serious breakfast?

Dorothy Lyon.

- Who?
- Nadine Bump.

Your ex-wife.

Okay.

I get it now.

You joined the witch hunt.

You know what a witch hunt is, right?

Not witches hunting men,

but men k*lling women
to keep them in line.

Well, I tell you what.
There's about a battalion

of gunslingers out there
with no sense of humor

that are burning rubber

to come penetrate you from behind.

So, if I were you, I'd get out of here.

Now.

Can't do it, slick.

Now, move that rig, let us in and, uh,

maybe this doesn't end with you
in handcuffs on the evening news.

Well, you don't get it, do you?

This is the path I'm on.

Starts at birth and it ends here.

This isn't a trip to Starbucks
on the way to the office.

This isn't an idea.

God cuts our names into bone.

And that's who we become.

He blows His holy trumpet
and the walls fall down.

You all came here to find Lot's wife,

but she's already a pillar of salt

and she ain't turning back.

So...

go and live.

Or stay and die.

It's up to you.

House is clear.

What do you want to do?

Cancer can't survive
outside of the body.

She came into the house, used the phone,

called in the cavalry.

But they got here too fast.

So they were coming already.

What'd you do with the lawyer's car?

One of the boys drove
it back to Minnesota.

- Cell phone in it?
- Mm-hmm.

But it pinged the
tower while it was here.

So they know he was here
and then disappeared.

That means the queen
of debt makes a call

and weaponizes the deep state.

Justice for the suits and ties.

And now it's w*r.

We're spread pretty thin here, Roy.

Searching door-to-door.

She can jump the line at any point.

Maybe.

More likely she's...

somewhere she doesn't think we'll look,

waiting for the dust to settle.

I'll check the dugout.

You check the grave.

Okay.

Wait here.

Come on.

Okay.

Just in case.

Announce yourselves.

Dad?

Kid?

Come away, now.

Da...

A son is unable to comply.

He has sold his right to be a man.

What disappointment
the father must feel.

What's going on with his eyes?

Forfeit.

It tells a lot about a man,

the words he uses

to describe a double cross.

We have heard it all.

To Welsh. To Gyp. To Jew.

As if to steal

is a man's lineage,

what a man is.

What did you do?

I'm sorry.

You said to let it go, but I couldn't.

When a man gives with one hand

and takes with the other,

he breaks his promise.

He must be taught.

The hand he steals with

must be cleaved from him

and returned.

Still a hand,

but now without function.

Here is your hand.

Daddy.

Quiet.

Daddy, I'm scared.

I said shut up.

If there ever was a point to you,

it's gone now.

Dad?

We got her.

Fast and quiet. Silencers on.

We're not here to start a w*r.

Uh, wait.

Now, listen to me.

Mrs. Lyon... the-the hostage...

well, she ain't the "lay
down and take it" sort.

What I'm saying is when we find her,

she may be armed with a
shotgun or some kitchen spray,

fending off an army. Don't sh**t her.

This story will not end
with us crushing the victim

with a helping hand.

Got it.

Don't sh**t the hostage, clear?

Oh!

The tiger can come out now.

Oh...

To fight a tiger in a cage...

is not a fair fight.

Okay.

Now the tiger...

is free.

Now I get it.
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