01x12 - Matchmaker

[bunniefuu]

It could be any
one of her clients.

RICK: You know,
you might have to date

half the rich, beautiful women in San
Diego before we ever made contact.

Could we go to your place?

Hey!

Help!

Guys, look, I'm not
into anything kinky.

Sit down, Vicki.

We need criminals. You need us.

Then it's a double-cross?

Whittaker.

There's just no honor
among thieves anymore.

This is the police.

We've got the place surrounded.

Help!

Hey, it's us!

[DOORBELL BUZZING]

CECILIA: And don't
water the cactus.

Last time I came back
to a case of root rot.

Gotcha, Mom.

And the cleaning lady has
changed her day to Thursday.

Somebody has to let her in.

It's on the list. We'll
take care of everything.

I don't want a
mess like last time.

No, ma'am. No, ma'am.

And no parties.

Mom, the last
time that happened,

Rick was 17 years old.

Big opportunity.

Well, I think we've outgrown the
need for wild parties at your house.

[BARKING]

Hi, Marlowe. Long time, no see.

Well, yeah. Well, come
get your ears scratched. Yes.

Ah, sweet boy. Well, come on.

Maybe we ought to have a party.

No!

Oh, come on, now.
We got the basement,

we got the attic, we
got the whole big yard.

I promised Mom.

RICK: I didn't.

Rick, listen to me.

You get me in trouble
one more time, I'm...

Hi, fellas.

Marlowe, k*ll.

Goodbye, Whittaker.

Please don't be mad.

The back door was open.

We will lock it behind you.

You'd better let me tell you
what I've got. It's a good one.

The last one was a good
one. We nearly got k*lled on it.

But think of all the
money you made on it.

Enough for the down
payment on your boat.

And this one's even
sweeter if you pull it off.

Yeah.

For old times' sake?

A.J., I missed you.

I'm also in trouble.

If I'm gonna keep my job
at Cal-National Insurance,

I need your help.

Up to you.

Please?

Pretty please?

To better times,
past and future.

I'll make you a deal, Whittaker.

You forget about the future

and I'll forget about
the past, okay?

Does that mean
you'll take the job?

What do you want from me?

The last time we both got hurt.

Too much too soon.

Yeah. Well, whatever it
was, let's not do it again.

What, you want to know
if you still turn me on?

All right. Yes, you
still turn me on.

Now, isn't there anybody
else you could go to for this?

Your brother is
the best there is.

And you're pretty good, too.

And I'm in trouble.

All right.

But it is business.
Just business.

Nothing personal.

Agreed.

And no tricks.

Would I... Yes,
you certainly would.

No tricks.

Got anybody steady?

Yeah. Yeah, as a
matter of fact, I do.

Oh.

I don't think so.

How would you know?

I looked in your
desk. No love letters.

[EXCLAIMS]


just the down payment.

Always knew I should have
gone into the insurance business.

[SIGHS] It's pretty
impressive, isn't it?

Well, it depends on who
you're trying to impress.

Something valuable got stolen,

you want us to find the thieves

and buy it back again, right?

Yeah. The antiques that
got ripped off last week.

We wrote the policy.

A very big policy.

The New York office would
rather not have to pay it off.

How much were they worth?

Two-and-a-half million dollars.

And how much are you in for?

Two-and-a-half million dollars.

I wrote the owner a
replacement value rider.

The company is stuck
for the whole thing.

Ain't that a shame?

Not too swift on
your part, Whittaker.

Well, Herbie Gresher had a


I wanted the corporate account.

[CLICKING TONGUE]

We're willing to pay a
half-a-million dollars, in cash,

to have the antiques
returned in good condition,

no questions asked.

They can get a lot
more from a fence.

Yeah, but this is safer.

And it'll come from
you. And they'll trust you.

Maybe they'll trust me.

This time, no tricks. No
marked bills, no double-crosses,

otherwise, you blow
my credibility forever.

No tricks.

What's our cut?

Your usual fee, plus expenses,

and if you show
results, you get a bonus.

$25,000.

Okay.

Just sign the receipt.

[DOOR BELL RINGING]

[DOOR CLOSING]

[WHISPERING] You
really think it's a good idea

to be carrying $100,000
around in this part of town?

[WHISPERING] You think it was
a good idea to leave it in the office?

Besides, if you tell those
guys what's in this briefcase,

they'll never believe it.

LENNY: Hey, Joe.

JOE: Hey, Lenny.
What's happening?

Oh, man, it is slow tonight.

Why don't you give
me a couple of dogs

and a cup of coffee to go, okay?

Okay.

Rickey!

LENNY: Sorry, guys.
Can't help you out.

Outside talent
pulled off this one.

Outside talent? Yeah.

In your territory?

Hey, man, it happens. It's
a free country, you know.

Hey, man, you want
to buy some shirts?

I got alligators, horses,

little guys swinging golf
clubs, man. Ten bucks.

No, thank you, Lenny. Really.

How about this Invaders
From Mars game, man?

Look at this.

[MIMICKING LASERS]

[MIMICKING expl*si*n]

[CHUCKLES] This game's hot.

I mean, it sells a lot, man.

No. No?

No.

How about one of these teeny
little TVs? Look at this, man.

You can get one for each eye.

It's like seeing 3-D, man.

Lenny?

I really do need to get a
line on this outside talent.

Have... Have they
pulled any other jobs?

I mean, whoever
these people are,

they got to be leaving some
sort of a signature, right?

What do you think
I am, a snitch?

No, man, I'm a salesman.
I got a business to run.

Right.

So, you guys wanna buy
or you wanna schmooze?

Have there been
any other jobs, Lenny?

Four.

Maybe five.

JANET: Hi! Hi.

Hi.

What're you guys doing?

Working.

A.J.: We're trying
to find a signature.

Something all these
robberies have in common.

All this stuff is really
slick. Look at this.

A guy named David Henderson

goes out to a restaurant
with no valet parking.

They ripped his '37
Pierce-Arrow right off of the street.

This one here. I
remember this one.

This woman was mugged
outside the Montreaux Hotel.

The mugger just ran up and tore the
diamond necklace right off her neck.

She hadn't worn it in
years. Inside information?

Yeah, I guess.

Ah, here's one.

William Kirkpatrick.

He came home one night
to find his safe blown open

while he was out at
the Globe Theater.

Oh, and here's another one.

A lady, Caroline Dawson
had a first-folio Macbeth

stolen while she was out
of town on a ski weekend.

And this one, this one I like.

"Spanish Doubloons."

Guy named Czabo.

Had a whole collection of things
and he figured they were real safe

'cause he had them behind this
really tricky secret panel, right?

He came home one
night, they're all gone.

Nothing else touched.

Well, definitely
something to be admired.

Yep. Then we've got Herbie
Gresher, the health-food king.

Well, they were all rich.

That's it! Robin Hood did it.

Why didn't I think of that?

Single. Hmm?

They were all single.

She's right. They
were all single.

Not only that, they
were all out on dates, too.

Wait a minute. Was
Gresher out on a date?

A.J.: Doesn't say.

Let's go.

If I can ever do anything
else for you guys,

[DOOR CLOSING] just let me know.

And this is where
we pack the caps.

It's done by hand.

We want our top-of-the-line
vitamins to be 100 percent natural.

Untouched by machines.

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

A.J.: What about these machines?

Oh, we sell these to
the cut-rate drugstores.

Fascinating.

Mr. Gresher, about the burglary.

It must have been
quite a shock to you,

coming home and finding
all your best pieces gone?

How long have you
been collecting antiques?

Seventeen years.

Where were you when it happened?

Palm Springs.

I spent the weekend in
Palm Springs with my fiancee.

Mr. Gresher? Mmm-hmm?

Perhaps it would help if you
could give us the names of everyone

who knew that you
and your fiancée

were going to be in Palm
Springs that weekend.

Everyone?

A.J.: Everyone.

Well, my secretary, of course,

my mother... She
lives in Philadelphia.

Oh.

The dry cleaners, Penny Russell.

Maybe one or two
of Vicki's friends.

Vicki?

Vicki Hanson. Oh. My fiancée.

Oh. Of course. Yes.

And you mentioned Penny Russell.

Well, Vicki and I met
through a dating service.

No kidding?

Yeah. P.R.I.V.A.T.E.
Maybe you've heard of them?

BOTH: No.

Oh. Oh, well, it's quite
exclusive, actually.

It's computerized. Well,
Penny Russell owns it.

The computer keeps
track of all her clients' dates.

It's amazing.

That's amazing. Thank you.

Thank you very much,
Mr. Gresher. We'll be in touch, okay?

Here. Take one of
these. On the house.

Vitamin E. It'll clear
that skin right up.

Oh. Thank you.
Thank you very much.

What's wrong with my skin?

I don't know. But whatever
it is, that'll clear it right up.

Hi. I'm Louise.

I am looking for a man.

Not just any man,

but the perfect man.

He should be about


maybe blonde,

and he should have
an exciting profession.

If the computer makes an
inappropriate selection for a match mate,

our video introduction
allows you to decline

without injured feelings
or embarrassment.

Oh, yes, of course. Yes, I
can see the advantage to that.

Tell me, do the men
make tapes also?

Oh, of course.

Could I see one?

Perhaps I should
recommend a service

that caters exclusively to men.

[A.J. LAUGHING]

No. No, no. You've
got the wrong idea.

It's simply that I've never
introduced myself to a camera before,

and I should like to have
some idea of what I should say.

Of course.

These are our tapes.
Select any one you wish.

Thank you.

[WITH BRITISH ACCENT]
Shall I choose one for you, sir?

Ah, thank you, Richard.
Yes, if you'd be so kind.

Very good, sir.

Ah.

There we are.

Hi. I'm Marty Czabo.

[MIMICKING SIZZLING]

[LAUGHING]

A little joke, girls, you know.

You should know upfront
that I'm not one to go in

for soft lights and
gossamer wings,

but! can boogie all night and
still come up asking for more.

My hobby.

My hobby is looking for
sunken treasure and finding it.

Well, most of our
clients aren't quite as...

Well, they're subtler
than Mr. Czabo.

Oh, they're all very well-to-do.

Now, would you care to
fill out a personality profile?

Actually, if it
would be all right,

I should like to look
at some more tapes.

Oh, certainly.

I'll just go and start the
paperwork. Excuse me.

Czabo's the one
with the doubloons?

Oh, yeah. They're all here.

Henderson, Kirkpatrick, Dawson.

Pretty nice little scam Mrs.
Russell has going for herself.

I don't think it's Mrs. Russell.

Oh, come on. It's got to be her.

No. Think about it.

It could be any
one of her clients.

Oh, that's a shame, A.J.

You know, you might have to date

half the rich, beautiful women in San
Diego before we ever made contact.

I really feel sorry
for you. That's awful.

Well, it's rough,
dirty work. I know.

BOTH: But
somebody's got to do it.

PENNY: All right,
Mr. Stevens, we're rolling.

Go ahead, Mr. Stevens.

Just relax. Be yourself.
It's all right to be nervous.

Okay.

Tell us about yourself.

My name is A.J. Stevens.

I'm in the escrow business.

Tell us about your hobbies.

As a matter of fact,

yes, I'm very interested in art.

I've managed to assemble
an exemplary collection

of modern artist... Modern oils.

[CHIRRUPING]

All right, put it down.
That's a good dog.

Go on, now. Go on.

All right, go on over there.

All right. Come over
here, come on. Come... No.

Over there! Now, come
here, Marlowe. Come here.

[CHIRRUPING]

[GROANING]

Why couldn't you have just said
you were into stamp collecting?

Get over there!

Because where are we gonna get our
hands on a topflight stamp collection?

There's a stamp collection
upstairs in the attic.

You got three
albums almost full.

Okay, Marlowe, go. I had.

Until you traded them to
Billy Bartell for a surfboard.

How can you surf on a stamp?

RICK: Go on over
there. Marlowe, go.

Oh...

[LAUGHS] Your mother's
right. You guys are irresponsible.

I put down a drop cloth.

Oh, good, good.

What're you doing here?
Oh, no, don't tell me.

Mom asked you to come
by and not water the cactus.

Something like that, yeah.

What is all this?

Well, Marlowe's therapist
suggested a hobby.

I really think he's
getting into paint.

He's really getting
off the drop cloth.

Marlowe! You big
lummox, come on!

[MARLOWE WHINING]

"Audio out. Sync..."

$648? For a video
cassette recorder?

It's a legitimate
expense. It was a deal.

You couldn't rent one?

Hey, look, it was on sale.

I'll tell you what. We'll
buy it back from you

as soon as we get
the $25,000 bonus.

Oh, great. I can't
wait to explain it

to the New York office.

Audio. Okay. We're all set.

[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

Hi.

Gee, I'm really nervous. [don't
usually go around advertising myself

or talking to
cameras or anything.

[SIGHS] Gee, I feel dumb.

Gee.

My name's Katherine.

Boy, Whittaker, what
we go through for you.

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

Thank you, Richard.

[IN BRITISH
ACCENT] Not at all, sir.

Where to, sir?

Oh, I'm sorry, Richard.
Le Chien Andalou,

RICK: Very good, sir.

I hope you like French food.

I adore it. Good.

I also love the French
Impressionists, although it isn't chic.

Oh. Especially Monet.

Oh, well, of course.
I'm mad for Monet.

I saw on your tape
that you collect art.

Oh, yes.

I guess that's one thing that
really attracted me to you.

Oh. And what do you do?

KATHERINE: I thought you knew.

No.

I'm the art critic for the
San Diego Chronicle.

[COUGHING]

I mean, how was I
supposed to know

she was a well-known art critic?

Well, if she was well-known,
you should have known.

You could at least
weed out your suspects.

You know, pick suspicious types?

[ON TV] Hi. I'm Barbara,

and I especially
enjoy eating al fresco.

Give me a call and we'll
whip up a dynamite picnic.

Bon appétit!

Definitely a suspicious type.

[GUITAR PLAYING]

[CHILDREN PLAYING]

Mmm.

More papaya sorbet?

[BOTH EXCLAIMING]

Not to worry. I have
some wipes in my purse.

Oh.

Here we are.

Thank you.

[CHUCKLES] Good as new.

I never asked you.
What do you do?

Paperwork, mostly.

What kind of paperwork?

You ask too many questions.

Well, I'd like to
ask you one more.

I'd like to ask you about the
Gresher antique collection.

The what?

The Gresher antique collection.

Hey! Hey! Stop!

Thief! Somebody stop him!

[PEOPLE SHOUTING]

[HANDCUFFS CLICKING]

You're a cop.

Hey, why didn't you tell me?

Would you have asked me out?

Yeah.

Hi.

Good morning.

Have a nice time last night?

Wonderful.

Oh.

Tell you something, Whittaker.

Maybe you ought
to join P.R.I.V.A.T.E.

I mean, if the men are
anything like the women... Ah!

$95 for dinner? Mmm-hmm.

You were supposed
to have a picnic.

Yeah, we did. That was lunch.

Lunch.

You two had better
come up with something.

Whittaker, I'm going through
them just as fast as I can.

This one's marked
"special request".

Oh.

Yeah, she saw your
tape this morning.

How nice.

[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

Hello. My name is Vicki Hanson,

And, well, I'm kind of
new here in San Diego,

so I guess my social life has
been a little bit on the thin side,

Wasn't Vicki Hanson the name of
Herbie's fiancée? I'm from Chicago,

I really don't understand
why my private

life has to be brought
into this, Mr. Simon.

Vicki and I are no
longer seeing each other.

We had a fight

so we called it off.

No, it's all right.

Yeah, goodbye.

You know, I never thought I'd meet
such a nice man through a dating service.

Oh, well, thank you,
thank you, very much.

You're welcome.

Have you dated through
P.R.I.V.A.T.E. before?

Oh, just once. Herbie.

Couldn't actually
call him a date.

Well, if you met Herbie
you'd know what I mean.

A.J.: Oh, dear.
It didn't work out?

Well, one date was enough.

Dinner was just
marvelous. Thank you.

Oh, you're welcome.

You know, I would just love
to see your art collection.

Could we go to your place?

I think that could be arranged.

Good.

[CLEARS THROAT]
Richard... Gotcha.

You know, I have some new
Marlowes that I am especially proud of.

You have Marlowes?

You can see, of course,
how his use of color

was strongly influenced
by the extremists.

You know, I really don't
believe I've ever seen

any finer examples
of his blue period.

Where was it that they
showed his work recently?

Was that the La Jolla gallery?

No. That was the La
Jolla animal shelter.

Hey, wait a second, guys,
I'm not into anything kinky.

Sit down, Vicki.
It's time to talk.

This is my brother, Rick. Hi.

That's Marlowe.

Marlowe?

Mmm-hmm.

Hey, who are you
guys? What's going on?

We work for an insurance company.
Herbie's insurance company.

Herbie Gresher?

That's right.

I don't understand.

Oh, sure you do.

See, you work for the people
who stole Herbie's antiques.

You fingered the job.

No! See, I just went...

What we want to do is, we
want to ransom the antiques.

We have here
$100,000 down payment,

four more on delivery,
for a total of half-a-million.

We want you to
deliver the message.

We'll be at the diner on
Third and B in two hours.

I think he'll listen.

Good.

[AMBULANCE SIREN WAILING]

Take your order?

Just coffee. Black. Thank you.

Give me three shaggy dogs,

extra kraut, and a cream soda.

$4.70.

In advance?

Well, once you put the
chili on, they don't keep.

Yeah, yeah.

Pay the man.

I don't have any money on me.

All I got is plastic.
Do you take...

Wait a minute.

Hey, I can't break a twenty.

It's okay, sport. You
keep the change.

Thanks!

Yeah.

Who's gonna know?

[DOOR OPENING]

Hey, are you interested
in what I got in the case?

Look, I don't know what
you're pushing, mister, but I...

[DOOR CLOSING]

[SIGHING]

[SIGHING]

The jelly donuts
are on the house.

Here you go.

Oh, I ordered a cream soda.

All we got is root beer.

That's all right. Thank you.

I believe you're waiting
for me, gentlemen.

I'm Vicki's employer.

Is it okay if I go on eating?

Please. It's your stomach.

Did Vicki tell you our terms?

They struck me as low.

They're non-negotiable.

Now, why should I believe that?

What reason do I
have to trust you?

You got 100,000 very good
reasons in this briefcase.

Suppose you bring on the heat?

RICK: We're not gonna do that.

Oh, yeah? Why not?

Because without guys like
you, we'd be out of work.

So would the
insurance companies.

We need criminals. You need us.

It's mutual.

Is it?

Yeah.

I pick the time and place.

You name it.

5 am. tomorrow.

I'll call with the location.

The briefcase?

Oh, yeah.

There you go.

Well, it's light.

Final payment
better be $400,000.

Plus the $20 you gave the cook.

Enjoy your dinner.

How do we know it's all here?

Count it.

[LAUGHS]

We'll trust you.

What time is the meet?

Morning.



Oh. Where?

We don't know yet. And
nobody better follow us.

Would I do something like that?

Yes, you most certainly would.

Good morning!

Your skin is looking
better already.

I have the inventory for you.

Of course, if any of the
pieces have been damaged...

We'll cover the damages.

Mr. Gresher, there's something
I think we ought to tell you

about Vicki Hanson.

Miss Hanson and I have
broken off our engagement.

I've already told you that.

Look.

The thing is, Vicki is
part of this burglary ring.

It's been operating out of
P.R.I.V.A.T.E. Dating Service.

AJ; She set you up, Mr. Brasher.

She never had any
intention of marrying you.

Sorry.

That's all right.

We had such a big fight.

I didn't even know
what it was about.

Now I understand.

Thank you.

Do you get the same
feeling that I get?

Yeah. Whittaker's
up to something.

Maybe I've got a
little good news.

Your insurance premium
won't be going up.

We're not taking
a loss on this deal.

What do you mean?

The ransom money will be
returned along with your antiques.

I've got the time
of the transaction.

The police will be there and
waiting at 7:00 tomorrow morning.

Then it's a double-cross?

I like to think of it
as good business.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Yes?

This is the antique store.

AJ; Yes. We need
to know the location,

LLOYD: The warehouse at
the corner of 98th and Marine,

AJ; Got it.

5 a.m.?

Depends on who you ask.

[CHUCKLES]

That's right. 98th Street.
You're welcome, Miss Whittaker.

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

Hello, Vicki. I've
got to see you.

Herbie.

Herbie Gresher.

Vicki, listen to me. It's
important, very important.

Herbie, this better
be important.

It is, Vickie.
Believe me, it is.

I want you to come to Europe
with me like we planned.

Herbie, look, I already
told you it was over.

I didn't come down here
to rehash everything.

I've been talking to
A.J. and Rick Simon.

Well, they sure get
around, don't they?

I want you to take a
message to your boss.

Tell him the insurance
company deal is a double-cross.

He can expect the police
at that 7 am. meeting.

The police?

Wait a second, I
don't understand.

You don't want your stuff back?

Not as much as I
want the settlement.

You and I had plans for
that money, remember?

Herbie,

you still want me,

knowing what I did?

You tried to steal a few apples.

I'm offering you the whole tree.

Come to Europe with me.

After six months, if you
want out, I won't hold you.

Six months?

I've never lasted
that long with any guy.

I could use the rest.

Herbie, you've got a deal.

[MARLOWE WHIMPERING]

Stay!

Do I know you?

Well, we just came down
to buy some antiques.

Okay.

Something doesn't track here.

Whittaker.

I really ought to k*ll you.

This double-cross has cost me
the sweetest number I've ever run.

We didn't double-cross you.

You're lucky that
maybe I believe that.

When Vicki called me, she told me
the cops would be here at 7:00 am.

Whittaker.

I checked your rep,
boys. You're clean.

I guess you got shafted
right along with me.

There's just no honor
among thieves anymore.

[TRUCK ENGINE REVVING]

[WHISTLES]

Come here, Marlowe. Come on!

[WHINING]

RICK: Marlowe!

Attaboy, Marlowe. Come on.

Come here, boy!

Attaboy. Come on.
Come get the ropes.

Come on. Come get the ropes.

No. Yeah, yeah, that's a
good boy. That's a good boy.

Now go get the ropes.

You remember?
Now, chew the ropes.

Now, come on,
boy, chew the ropes.

Marlowe, no, no, no. Marlowe.

No, no, don't sit up,
Marlowe. Come here.

Marlowe, come chew the ropes!

Come on. Marlowe, don't
crawl, get over here! Come here!

Come on!

Marlowe, k*ll your master.

[POLICE RADIO CHATTERING]

Can't wait any longer.

Remember, there's
two-and-a-half million dollars'

worth of antiques in there.

GUENTHER: All right, in there.

This is the police.

We've got the place surrounded.

Yeah.

Help!

Hey, it's us!

Come out with your hands up.

Can't you hear us?

It'll be a lot easier
if you cooperate.

[GRUNTS]

Hey, one, two, three.

BOTH: Help!

All right, we'll do
it the hard way.

No! No, let's do it the
easy way. Come on!

I was afraid of that.

[BOTH COUGHING]

[MARLOWE BARKING]

Marlowe!

[MAN SHOUTING]

No, don't sh**t! Don't sh**t us!

[RICK AND A.J. COUGHING]

[POLICE RADIO CHATTERING]

Sorry, Miss Whittaker,
they've cleared out.

No money, no furniture.

[A.J. COUGHING]

You did it again, you stupid...

[CAR HORN BLARING] We
could have been k*lled in there!

Well, if it wasn't for me,
you'd still be in there.

Why didn't you tell us
about the cops this time?

Well, it was on a
need-to-know basis.

Need-to-know?
WHITTAKER: Mmm-hmm.

Need-to-know?

Why did Herbie
Gresher need to know?

Well, I felt sorry for him.

He was so unhappy
about his girlfriend.

But of course, since he
told her about the cops,

why, that puts him in
collusion with the thieves,

and we don't have to pay
the claim, and I'm off the hook.

Well, if you're happy,
we're happy, too.

Well, I wouldn't be too happy.

You owe the company $500,000.

[STAMMERING] He signed for it.

Now, look, you can't
stick us with that.

It's not me.

But then, it's not my money.

You had better be kidding.

You signed the receipts.
I'm gonna k*ll her.

No, no, no. We get the money
back first, then we k*ll her.

No, I'm gonna
k*ll her right now.

No, no, no!

Right now! No, no.

Come on! We'll both
k*ll her later, okay?

I'll k*ll her first!
No, no. Later!

Oh, thanks.

Come on, man, Charlie Chan
did that in, like, 1935 or something.

Well, it just so happens Charlie
Chan was a very fine detective.

In fact, you could watch
that show more often.

You might have
learned something.

Aha, aha!

Aha, what?

Aha, I got a phone number. Aha.

What?

It's our number.

[WITH ASIAN ACCENT] You
very clever detective. You are...

You such a smart man.

Look. I got a number, too.

I got flight numbers
and departure times.

I wonder which
one's the right one.

If I had half-a-million dollars in a
suitcase, I wouldn't worry about that.

I'd be interested in the
first flight out of the country.

All right, well, he's
missed the 7:15.

[DIALING TELEPHONE]

WOMAN: High Times,

Hi, yes, this may sound
like a strange question,

but could you tell
me which airline

has a flight number 766
leaving at 9:20 this morning?

Where to? I don't
care. Anywhere.

Preferably out of the country.

There we are. This is heavy.

What have you got
in there, gold bars?

[LAUGHING]

All right, here is your ticket,
Mr. Lloyd. Enjoy your flight.

You still have a few minutes.

You might want to visit our
duty-free shop in the departure lounge.

Thank you. You're quite welcome.

Yes?

WOMAN ON PA; Flight 997 is
now ready for boarding at gate 32,

Any passengers traveling
with small children

or needing assistance
with boarding,

please come to the gate at
the left of the check-in area.

Got him.

[GROANS]

Hey!

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

OFFICER: What's going on here?

Look, just call Sergeant
Guenther at San Diego P.D.

and tell him you got the
guy he's looking for, okay?

We'll just go claim his luggage.

What's taking him so long?
That flight leaves in five minutes.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I'm afraid we have
a bit of a problem.

Problem?

We looked on the plane, and
the suitcase is not in the cargo bay.

No, wait a minute,
that isn't possible.

That was checked on
less than half-an-hour ago.

Yes, I know. What
we think happened

is one of the baggage
handlers misread the tag.

It was supposed to go to Rio. We
think it was loaded on the flight to Rome.

Rome. Yes, we think so.

All right, what time does
the flight to Rome take off?

It just took off.

[JET ENGINES ROARING]

That's it now.

And there's really
nothing to worry about.

Our recovery rate on
lost luggage is very good.

How good?

Sixty or seventy percent.

And, of course,
if the bag is lost,

our a*t*matic insurance coverage
will pay up to a maximum of $1000.

$1000? Yes.

That's wonderful.

There's really nothing to worry
about. This happens all the time.

It does, huh?

Yes.

Next, please.

Next.

WHITTAKER: 494,


Is she still counting?

Still counting.



We're $20 short of $500,000.

Uh-huh?

Uh-huh?

[GRUNTING]

Okay.

Look.

Here we go.





Now, are we even? Can I
go home and get some sleep?





Good night.

Come on, Marlowe. Come on.

[SIGHS]

Here you go, Whittaker.

Just a simple, one-page receipt.

A.J., don't you trust me?

[PEN SCRATCHING]

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You know, it's
not all that late,

and I haven't eaten dinner yet.

Oh.

Well, I'd be happy to recommend
any number of excellent restaurants.

You know how I
hate to eat alone.

Now, Whittaker, we had a deal.

That was until the
job was finished.

The job is finished.

No.

[SIGHS]

How about a kiss goodbye?

One?

[SIGHS]

All right, if that's
the way you want it.

Would you mind hooking
me up to the suitcase?

Very funny.

Well, I hoped you'd think so.

Now you can unlock it.

No, I can't.

Whittaker.

The only key is in the main
office in the insurance company,

and, well,

they don't open until