06x04 - Akutagawa-kun's Errands / The Mafia Member Who Doesn't k*ll / Forming a Duo With Him

[bunniefuu]

The advice to take life less seriously,

given to one who takes life seriously,

may or may not be necessary at times.

Darci is calling me. Hi, this is Octagon.

Oh, there you are. I've been trying to reach you.

I was wondering if you could do a teensy

weensy favor for me. If it were..

For you, Darci, I would jump out of a moving airship.

And somehow that doesn't sound like a joke coming from you.

Anyway, could you go shopping for me? Don't worry.

Even you would be able to find this place. No problem.

Is this really happening? Darci is entrusting me to do something.

Okay. Do you have a notepad nearby? First on the list.

I shall complete this errand, even if I have

to sacrifice everything to do so.

Is that Mr. Akutagawa? I wasn't expecting to run into you here.

Oh, hello. What's that note for? Is that a shopping list?

What are you doing that for, sir?

Why don't you let me take care

of this for you? It's no trouble at all.

Don't touch it. These are all my errands. Mine's right.

I'm very sorry. Errands.

Uh.

Single. Double. What's it all mean? Why are there no triples

for birthdays? Is Darci a bad guy?

I must choose. Paper fit for eyes. Buttocks.

All right. Next on the list is Dr. Gawa.

I have no business with you. Leave my sight.

Hey, I have a right to be here too.

You know, luckily for you, I can't

waste my time tormenting you today.

So you should savor your good fortune

and make like a tree and get out of here.

Okay, I get it. Except the tree bit.

Akutagawa completed his errands with due diligence.

I must choose the freshest milk. The other

shop was cheaper. I'll return there.

There's a triple point bonus today. I got

a membership card under Das's name. And with that.

I would k*ll myself..

After gawa completed all of his errands.

Wow. Yeah. Hello?

Yes, it is I, Akutagawa. I've acquired everything you asked for.

Oh. Thanks, man. You're the best. Nonsense.

I only did what I was asked.

One last thing. Could you go give all that stuff to Atsushi?

They're supplies for the agency. Thanks. Hmm.

Today ended up being a total bust.

And it's all that Octa-core was fault.

Why do I have to deal with this?

I found you. Speak of the devil.

What the heck? What's all that you're carrying? We're weretiger.

Why do you wander off? I've been

looking all over for you. Gah!

But you were the one who said

to make like a tree and get out of here.

One itty bitty shorts. Huh? Curry udon is one of my favorites,

but it's a death trap for my perfectly white shirt.

I've heard your lament, Atsushi. I hereby volunteer to eat your curry.

I'm well qualified for the job, as you can see.

Oh that's true. You are wearing a

curry udon colored coat after all.

Would you allow me the distinct honor

of eating the scrumptious dish then?

You seem ready to eat, so sure.

Go ahead and knock yourself out.

I appreciate your generosity. Wait a moment, Darci. Huh?

Please don't consume anything that the Weretiger has prepared.

I would be more than happy to

consume every drop on your behalf.

But your white shirt would be stained, too. And one other thing.

How? You even get all the way up here? It's really.. Tasty.

Does I know?

Ha ha.

They say fools and smoke share a liking for high

places. Hey, I heard..

That, Akutagawa. He's getting a balloon. They

gave me one at the market,

but I let go of it by accident. Huh?

Look, Kyoka, I managed to get it down.

Look at him. Such a cute little tiger. Rashomon.

Oh, you think? Why did you have

to do that? It really annoyed me.

What are you, some kind of hot tempered youngster?

Are you saying you're any different? Look,

man, don't forget that promise you made not to k*ll anymore.

If you go and break it, I'm never,

ever going to challenge you. It was just a balloon.

Damn that Akutagawa. That balloon was special. It was my tiger.

He makes me so mad. Huh? Huh? What's he looking at? Huh?

Be careful now. That was so..

Nice. It had to have been a fluke, right?

Huh? A procession of ants. This won't end well.

He's redirecting them with sugar. This has

to be some way of seducing the ants into the ways of evil.

Plant some seeds, water them, and help them flourish.

This will end up helping the insects. This can't be..

Right. He must be plotting to capture insects and t*rture them.

A mosquito. Mm. Very well then. Suck away.

Man. Tagawa looks like he's just giving up on everything.

He knows when they say that someone

would never hurt a fly. That's only an expression, right?

I mean, it's cool if he wants to be nice in general.

Hey, you've been on good behavior. So I went

and bought some pork buns for you. Take em.

I've been judgmental, and I'm. I'm sorry. Okay.

Rashomon. You pig! What the heck's wrong with you?

My ability acted up on its own.

I still have to keep my guard up around you.

No. You weren't getting any of mine.

Does I?

What's he doing there?

I want to be a marshmallow, Darci.

Preferably in a s'more. He wants to be a marshmallow.

Is this some sort of metaphor? I'm

incapable of understanding his thought process.

Oh, it's you, Octagon. I'm trying to accomplish

my dream right now. Your dream?

A man of my resilience eventually longs to become a marshmallow.

I see things starting to look like

a marshmallow. Right? Squish. Yeah. Squish.

Yes, I can see it, right? Just

goes to show you can become anything if you try hard.

Here's what a complete and utter fool would think.

Did you actually believe me that humans can turn into marshmallows?

This exchange has made it clear.

Answer. She is far superior to you.

How does anything I said make me inferior to the Weretiger?

It's clear from this interaction that you can't take jabs.

What's that mean? It's an impressive skill

where you can take control of the room

if you play your cards right.

That's why I called Atsushi here to Akutagawa's here.

I came here only because you promised me a delicious dessert.

Well, yeah, I was referring to myself, you know.

How dare this weretiger be rude to Dazai.

I should teach him a lesson and turn him into a rug.

Huh? Hey, what the heck was that

for? You could have praised me.

I'm practicing dishing out jabs. That was

more of a lethal s*ab than a jab.

That's why Onogawa is still practicing them. Cut him a little slack.

You're messing with his head again, aren't you?

Huh? You're going to get in trouble

with the boss for wasting time again.

I'm not wasting time. This is very

important work I'm doing here. Rushing on.

Could you stop doing that for real, man? Huh?

What a scaredy cat! I said I won't k*ll.

It seems you want to do everything. But though.

The first lesson in taking a jab

is you slap him and say as if, bro.

This time out, I think I'm going

to try to become a delicious toasted steamed bun.

I'm getting all toasty, so turn me over. Yes, sir.

Good idea. You want to make sure he cooks evenly all around?

And don't forget to add the miso sauce as if. Bro. Hey.

I can see it now. Clear as day.

The oblivious Akutagawa and the straight man Atsushi

working together. You'll be a star comedy duo.

Hey everyone! So I've been really hooked on cooking lately,

and I thought it'd be fun if

I made you something. Any requests?

Only that you stop talking to me.

If I did that, we wouldn't be doing comedy. Her.