09x02 - Conference in Barcelona

[bunniefuu]

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

you

absolutely mrs. Tennessee vas a letter no no this is Leslie I work mainly on

the reception these days oh of five-foot-seven urban board the

certain amount of Feminine Mystique no I'm not

Feminine Mystique what I said was Feminine Mystique never mind yes I'll give it a message Adi lost

something all right Leslie crystal on the phone want to know where temper savages marry sure she's had to go have

a hair done she was booked into p*rn Corps but Kansas is gone here well again good in that case I can leave these

brochures here on reception without that when you know bag to Amira well you may get away with a battalion hurry up if I

was you that's it

could you look at my phone for me it's wishing itself off oh not really my strong point mrs. temple Savage I've got

very fat fingers which is good for some things but rubbish for technology I keep

missing calls no you've just missed another well mrs. Hennessey vas was just run a joke and he

didn't fare without having my head in video for no wood a legend well what did

she want she wants you to go on a two-day conference in Barcelona where she's supposed to me the speech Oh

escaping this place with a little to day jobs in Barcelona with a Serrano see el

okay I think I could be tempted Leslie will you call crystal for me and sad be

delighted to attend de Bolivar charity

stomping honking trip to Ibiza 50% off thank you what's the meaning of this

they can be half price I know what 50% off means who put me gleeful it's here

as if I have to ask [Music]

oh you have got to be takin a piss pletely wasted morning jackeline why do

you never answer your phone I'm Alicante as you know your flight has been delayed so I'm going to go back to

Benny and I'm going to keep my throne switched on so text me when you know what's happening if you'd like your

mobile in that kitchen drawer again I'll swing for you oh hello hello how much

the fact it's been a dog got 80 euros ready

oh oh excuse me excuse me sorry I think

there's been a mistake when I started cab the Benidorm with eighty euros what I meant don't worry I know that problems include toll road off

tip call it undred yours you like to

follow me sir the difficult life sir yeah the way I see it the more people I

take out the all-inclusive loop the better for you what do you mean by all-inclusive loop people are away on my

trip they're not drinking your alcohol and they're not eating your food reducing your customer just a percentage

ratio Russ lower in your overheads and increasing your profits change your lips

and I don't have a problem with it I don't mind the use of the word stonking I'm not the dinosaur you make out but I

draw the line at bonking I'm sorry I did

thank you just be careful lady I'm

watching you naturally as you can b*mb if you can't

watch one orange juice grass there we are

why do you never drink alcohol don't really agree with me other British people they vomit on each

other be themselves follower do you think alcohol always with them hi tiger

isn't it oh hey mr. d no I'm Joey you want to drink no no no no not for me I'm

Sonny way sir oh yeah go on then just a quick one you twisted meow I will not twisting anything Hey yeah

it's Buffalo lager please so bit of a

mad one last night no what really you know average right right I will say you

handle your rail a lot better than our Rob he's not even up yet hey it's not what it used to drinking like olden days

keen offering that hey I'm not that ancient you cheeky bugger no that that

will baby it out 700 years old look at this thing like that Cheers

so a much Fanny in town I'm sorry Fanny

you know girls in town were than any girls in town yeah loads right well I'll

be off hmm I'll be back for that I won't if you like I add don't bother yourself

[Music]

that's brilliant Kenny thanks so much ah you're more than welcome Diane Cheers

hey good luck with the proposal tonight job dog do you think I'm crazy they're

crushing Michelle says girl the other day no should be thrilled what can you meet now well she got on

here so I'm just gonna try and track her down oh I thought you knew you were coming which you just didn't know about the

proposal no no she ain't go clear Mia do you think I'm crazy don't ya well

there's me you're going down on one knee in front of I'd be thrilled but that's all the story I try listen can I pass my

return cups there now I know I'm right with money and I don't have to get a bus back to the airport how do you know all

right I mean any yeah yeah yeah I can compare my booking for you right now if you want and listen I also own a hair salon in a

hotel in Benton so if you want to swim before your big night just swing by the store on the hotel this afternoon a hair

salon as well as a taxi business my god real-life entrepreneur gonna touch you

only if I can choose where in fact if that girlfriend dedication to the dead you can have me on tap now look here's

what

oh sh**t

are you plane no why are you playing at well I'm having this thing called a holiday how much did you drink last

night well if you hang on a second I'll get me drink diary all right down on the drinks isn't violent do you know of course I

don't what sort of question is that how much did a drink when Ben Adama right here's another question for you who were you

out with last night this is about another chase it might be that we bumped

into another chase and she's a bit well she was not a chase she was wrecked and and flirting with

everyone book no which wasn't she usually is what sounded you all get in I

can run about for just as they well go is that big club in cafe belly don't I

know you left your nun drunky Benidorm at 4:00 in the morning yeah yeah no I

did understand to be honest so you don't know where she ended up what you mean

was she ended up you won first hour

morning are you feeling on my I'm broken absolutely worthless

oh don't worry laugh me a dad's what did you end up doing oh god I can barely

remember at least try just I can't remember all right some last kendama go on ask

it's wrong with you ask you people to remember things maybe the lads of one remember right going back to bed yeah

later listen epsom hey we all make mistake I'm

sorry who you were what you did last

night Oh as I say sort of river blood I remember being a slob but I remember

getting home selective amnesia what it

happens to people who've gone through traumatic events in their lives to w*r veterans people in car crashes kids

being chased by clans a circuit that guided destroyed clans Arthur kid there's nothing more terrifying in a

creepy nine scary makeup loom you know VR I'm sure it was just a battery

stay strong son that's wrong yes they

crackle and park inside return the prices will go tell your mum they're tasty yummy berry the tongue does crummy

honey Kojo path really absolutely brilliantly

for the only reason she didn't get it was a lack of experience like an experience I've just been for the 12

year that bloody Scare School how much more experience do they want experience to in television commercials

which we got down to the last two so that proves cement of it ah that there was somebody better not better just more

experienced have you have been all this time what yeah you look whiter the Sheep

where's our robust everything alright yeah actually texting fine I'm healed up

running out of it Louis this morning it's seven Spanish eggs they don't cook them through hola Amiga rock that

friggin al does she look like well here we all are Emma going on you

were supposed to be here last night Sharon you look fabulous still managing to keep that weight off

just I'm very proud of you hey Loretta do you want to fit down Oh

Billy you're looking tired that you're managing to get enough sleep I'll be

getting more than you leave that it adds it that's it you're looking colorful

what about just a same to you don't bother getting off well I wasn't going to oh look George it doesn't

matter chase get the kid okay when you

come she shuffle so it's all about three weeks ago mum look at those long legs

you're going to grow up looking exactly like he is mad

oh I so much about to pick Jordan to the kids club come on did you want a drink

gin and tonic don't gone mad on the tonic Jordan dad I'm already Sean thanks

Bill you know you do look very tired Loretta you've been saying that to me

for the last 20 years doesn't it ever occur to you that I'm not tired this is just how my favorite

somebody falls out of the wrong side desert this morning I might have got out of the wrong side of bed but at least it

was my bed I got out always been his problem that it can't be this big

I bet extruder a leopard never changes its spots still a dirty sex mad slapper

even at your age we don't all curl up and die after 60 Eddie

some of us continue to enjoy an exciting varied sex life just because the last

time you saw your [ __ ] of them were allowed

[Music]

just another minute or so now Brenda that bleachers quite strong so if it

starts to burn your scalp let me know and I'll give you something to bite on - hey where you be I have been on my first

successful airport room that was ages ago what you mean successful where's Jacqueline I wasn't talking about

Jacqueline she's been believe she went up there bhagava rebo East Midlands I picked up a matter how I can see oh my

god gave me on to your room so I did euros while supposed to sell are you coming up for all knocking yeah exactly

chica get he thought I was a cab it's given me an idea blow and go here in

beauty salon incorporating B and G cabs destroy I'll never agree to it because master if he doesn't know about safe try

salon and he's here are often ten weeks of the year what he doesn't know we'll know tell us apart from the police

cracking down on illegal airport runs you haven't got the time to be running a minicar business we'll talk about it

like that in the meantime according to them smoke signals your client appears to be in distress

what Oh buddy L Oh Brenda come with me

come with me I know how you say a boss

with a big secret oh yes I actually owned this hotel but I

love working here how you say in continental did you know

my don't disguise as a bad man McHale McKay miss temple savage managers

of a solana and my boss how can I help you

what was that all about hmm I have no idea okay I need your help is why I'm

here crystal Hennessy bar I've asked me to go to a conference in Barcelona so I know what you're going to

say to you of course do you want me to write the position of manager while you are away

exactly the thing is what can be ridiculous now I thought you wanted me

to go with her she wants me it's going her place this is not a problem the train to Barcelona

is quick or maybe do you want me to drive you you don't understand she wants me to

give them her speech if you let me have a speech I can give it to them no in

Spanish okay we have a speech in Spanish you say aqui está el discussion it means

here is a speech no you idiot I have to read out a five page speech in Spanish

this is impossible do you do not speak Spanish anyway let's expand if it but what well when I got

this job and it's Alana yes I told them I spoke seventh Spanish and

in five years you have forgotten everything no I like to term I've never spoken

Spanish okay there is a way I could help

you sorry of course okay

go wait for me in the manager's office I will be there in five minutes yes okay told you

same again no so when the brochure says there were no child minders in the hotel it means we don't supply them the fact

your wife's a charm I do it's a problem at all I arrived thank you

uh-huh how's it going yeah good thing can I help you with anything

mmm we're bored to be honest well you have come to the right place if we thought about one of our trips no not

really I think just a chat would do okay well as you know I'm Sam yeah I don't

remember but my name's Joey I do remember well what about a chat about

some of the free trips we have yeah cool I don't go on a trip but I'm really happy to chat about them cool so this is

a free trip to the waterfalls of Algar this is the free trips of water left this is a free trip to the local boring

oh you've got a lot of free trip yeah this one's a little bit more exciting

it's a trip to a bisa a trip to our beef up oh my days I Pisa I can't believe you

go to Ibiza yeah we do trip to a b*at-down there is Ibiza it's an island

in between Spain America Wow where's me all calm it's an island that would be

next to Spain if it b*at the one in the way cool there's a trip all the details

are on the back of the leaflet next trip's Friday okay so we gotta go on

that can you put me in I'm a tiger down for it no problem I've got my cash box

with me at the moment but we'll sort out the details tonight oh you're of course if you just put both your names in room numbers on this list

that will confirm your places Tigers gonna be so excited I'll be fun did you

want to fill chat about some of the other trip no way man I got top up my phone in it I'll be so

[Applause] well okay I have read all of the speech

and I can say 100% it is definitely in Spanish I know it's in Spanish

I told you it was in Spanish okay so what is it you want me to do I want you to help me learn it okay

Oh first we have a good afternoon men and woman this is my pleasure in

Spanish I've got to read the speech in Spanish in it I mean she put five pages

[Laughter]

this is not a joke my job could be at stake sorry I have an idea why don't we do it

phonetically yes of course I was going to suggest we do it phonetically right

you didn't want phonetically means do you know airport run to Alicante on

Thursday and where's that from I'll be here what time's your flight love let's have a look Liam I am what

can you do me a massive pair Mancala two o'clock on Thursday look in the book

you've got Winnie from camping bilham are in for a Brazilian Blowout well

there's your answer yeah that's all booked in for your love what number color Beethoven mm-hmm all

right we'll see you then bye bye you're getting very peevish you about my new

business adventure Liam hmm I said you're getting very peevish Betty P bish

see this what's that supposed to mean he just can't bear the fact that my ownership in their entrepreneurial kind of done it yes I can ont hang on oMG are

doing illegal airport runs in a clapped-out old bungalow one seat belt no road tax to not make you an entrepreneur it makes you a criminal

wash your mouth out that car is a classic it just needs a bit a money spending on it which I'll be in and do

need airport runs you listen to me Brian quoi lovely

surprise your I love k*lling Oh Liam

quick large brandy hang on do you want a drink Ryan love yes please

- glass Brandy's go on oh there's a

chance he cannot see you now well it's

our Robert is he still not up you had a late night last night I know I was with him well I bumped into him with his neck

hey I go in general where did you bump into them some club in Benidorm you said

you didn't come as the interest not because you got here too late I see it's too late to come and see you but not to where to go out Samson

especially invented or morning afternoon well you finally drugged yourself a tea

a bit then you missed after day that's night love was Rufus Joey and

Tiger didn't game till half six Tigers convinced he took some gropey old bird

on with him but he can't remember morning on a chase how's your head

I don't remember getting any complaints

are you we're not gonna see if your friends all right no I'm not

yeah what good night last night so many bales out early looks to me like it were good job a bailout surely she hath

k*lled Alan please stop you please stop talking about it oh it was a joke what

it was joke a person sleep with your friends don't be ridiculous things me at my age trying orchard there you go your

Nana was joking oh yeah of course that was it fast - something like that

how come money took one more over here if collapse we weren't looking over here

same reasons after people here a flaked out it's boiling up Tony's been out

drinking till the early hours right come on then rob gon get is all another drink

and go and check on your friend on the way over oh I've just sat down just give me five minutes

oh poor love five me so you seem to be

bearing up alright Loretta what time did you get in last night oh I don't worry about things like that bill maybe if you

didn't you wouldn't have so tired all the time

it's Billy I'm sorry my name as you well

know is Billy not William not Bill not well or Willie I was christened Billy

the fact that I looked tired or not is a matter of opinion my name on the other hand is not

you were actually christened Bauer I beg

your pardon like sheeted a big button well when you were born your mama

Georgia now Oteri's me I'm sure now it were my kid now George Bella I was christened Bella

yeah you've waited until now to tell me I was christened Bella

well we changed it about a week after Christian because so many people were taking this oh I wonder why why did you

want to call him Bella Eddie oh my god dad you were brought a girl with your

tongue get the drink lady are and this thing's you've got to be joking it's not even the girl's name it's a

dogsled Bella didn't drama who have a dog call but she did she always look

tired all the time as well the taça me not plan mal do you mind telling me after 40 odd years why on

earth I was christened Bella it would have to bill a lord awesome you

know Count Dracula I've always been a big fan great so not only did you give me a girl's

name you named me after a vampire that's

right yeah all of you take the page hey I said get a drink thing sorry um same

again please look kinda I'm alright thanks son I'll have a little bronze do

you think no problem look fella I log on

audio it's not the way you drive

Oh oh sorry sorry powerful macton sorry that's your fault that eights mad fault

after some other happened 14 years ago shut up just shut up

what is happening here does he need the first eight no no he's fine me he just

went a bit dizzy Hey are you okay yeah yeah I'm fine I just wore a bit of a moment I think I'm

still drunk oh he needs the hairy dog I will bring more beer no no absolutely not you tried

to help someone and they took it up in your face so did you boys get looking at

that oh we may not sniff that your grandma is hilarious I went home about 5:00 and they're close

to dancing the night away which to Tiger and your granny

[Music] she come nice and cool I'll get it show

you what one three [Music]

what's going on hi Levi

109 [Music] I try a ringer but a former switched off

so I looked on Facebook and so one of her friends had checked into the Tiki Beach bar so I went down there which

ones to take e beats but though it's got one ride from non avanthi beats usually filled with a heaving throngs of

shitless tech parties you know I am in Builders manual laborers that sort of

thing I patted emulator work that bars and on your way to work I never said it was I said a packet every day on the way

to work anyway sorry so I get there and I've got the ring in

my pocket over here see lines I'm ready to get down on one knee or don't like the sound of this exclusion unromantic

like me I don't mean I don't like the romance I mean I'm worried about what's coming next and romantic yeah your idea

of romance I'm going to shagging asking in the name on the way out will you listen to me story sorry

so I go up to a friend's and ask where's Megan and they all just stare at me like

the frozen there's an announcement in second place to the mist wet t-shirt

competition Megan and I turn around and I see it would you have married her she

doesn't face I'm not finished yet yeah okay so I turn

round which she's on this little stage in a wet t-shirt it's not gonna blog so

I confront this feller I said what do you think you're doing he says what does they look like [ __ ] that's not nice

said you know that woman is and he said yeah you wife comes at the end to the F

to the G on the little bottle of fun seven a wet t-shirt competition at your wedding

what when their wedding they've been married for years I don't understand now

you've lost me as well when I first start going out with Megan she said she would divorce which didn't

surprise when she was 20 years older than me but she went divorced she separated was separated

she came on with solid in knowing that he would be in Benidorm at same time hang on how long have you and Megan been

going out together two months two months and you follow the rhinology to ask her

to marry you no I know I know I might be young but I guess I'm an old romantic

because she sounds like an old slug by the sound of it Liam she said our fling was a mistake

and she's back with a husband and I'm all alone in Benidorm our friends

nowhere to go rubbish me and Lee Milo castilla and I'm

going to start by making you feel like the young vibrant a gorgeous sexy man that you are God kind of control

yourself the boy is right I've got a cut today if you can oh sorry

right now I am sensing a reversal a a pompadour with high favored sides what

you reckons whatever you think as long as it comes to the Volk room Kok layin to vote cream coke right we'll be back

and the dreams we left behind I'll be glad to have a little gamey with

my life when I loop at all these days I

am ok I'm not upset no you don't look it I'm so lucky to

Frandsen know I often think I know what you mean Kenny Kenny serious we're not sorry for

you to be no no just no sorry

No where did you find so released these days you can get married which me mean

say what you know we've come so far marriage should be for everyone now is

gay marriage sure I'm not gay

[Music]

[Music] [Laughter]

there isn't yet I'm sorry Liam I'm sorry not fended just

not gay right Oh cream coke gin and tonic and a Malibu

rum pineapple with extra challenge and an umbrella [Music]

nice trick I didn't say anything [Music]

can you sing tonight no musk and island with the book come on let's go find CeCe

I need another drum you have an urge alertly she's much better isn't she really do

I had a smashing voice when our Allah unfortunately too many drinks in cities

of pop a stirrer plus all the late night not to mention the early morning game back home it's

been a long time since us on the wharf ashame billith no you just call it walking now don't you oh you just drop

it we would have said it was a jeweled earlier about checking up that you're mad yes just stupid Billy you're like a

broken record a song I beg your pardon

I saw you this morning when I was on my way to see if our robbed was all right I saw you leave that lads room Hagar's

room [Music]

perhaps this will prove Oh what were you doing in that and drop it up a morning paper

[Music] right who's singing tonight

[Music]

nothing about you you know look for it oh don't judge Millay

[Music] me

look at I get you something very large and very strong and he said to drink -

come on up poor woman we assigned euros

this customers get innovate with it especially right in the middle of the zone if you see what I mean I'm all over

al vintage thank you

George mention you look happy did you say nice yes no but if the hundred or is

coming in that will shut him up until his real payment of 150 or comes in leaving me a tidy 50 euros processor is

not what you do is the way that you do it Leslie all right for so any dorm zone

Charlene there we'll hear more from her later but now it's karaoke time let's

hear it for Jodi daughter [Applause]

[Music]

why shall coming that to me no one ever sick again I asked my maid Loretta how

it means my room but she didn't get into my bed you said you remember her face been like

this far away from walls she was [ __ ] mean that's what they used to call it

haha she tucked me in the bed then I was

so drunk before she was my grandma and I said don't leave me gran don't leave me

oh and then she said I won't leave you son don't worry I'm sitting my ear and

then I said cry have you gotten normal exhale and then I

fell asleep she must have done the same in the chair hiya dad all excited about your trip to

Ibiza end it we agree far oh you're as tired I completely forgot to tell you I booked on a free trip to LA me oh my

baby they didn't bake give me excuse me what do you mean free trip to Evita

can't forgotten about you which you just mentioned it I never said it was free I'm here to collect 200 euro deposit

hundred years we ain't got on GTOs but on all inclusive hi hi Timothy

that's about you today do you want to talk about the free trips you had an offer why did you think this trip was free I

gave you the leaflet to read what does that I haven't got my cash box we could sort out the details tonight then gave a

friendly money I mean white chocolate chemical one person be my you ain't

nothing yet this is just a pity Ice Cube oh the pair of you total an absolute

[ __ ] 90 degree lies I don't don't rob informal between the chillner become

like mother she's nine hey what about

money yeah be right back God with men that's

days built on the world are good for has been worth every penny to pay for Jory scrolling only the best for my

granddaughter you can touch to go to face oh yes cachito awesome the fattest man who ever

drew breath I love you more when it comes to my grandchildren money's no object

oh if that reminds me I need to start sourcing payment for Georgie's next school year when I've got the VIN by the

end of order wait see ya next year

another we love these rubbish and funk it's actually 11,400 next year are you

gonna be jacking the place that last has bled me dry as it is I'll be think if

I'm Shelly now a normal loving gamblers a bit about singing and acting duck Eddie you agreed to pay for George's

schooling you think she was going to leave school when she was 10 can we come back later one year one year I have YouTube

therefore at drama school she can sing shower from now on light rest on us what

happens is when it comes to my grandchildren

older friggin house asking you I'm surprised you've come up for air in between sucking the blood of teenage

girl I'll tell you the problem you are at the door no I'll tell you the problem you've

all got if you all don't shut up and start behaving like human beings you'll all be out on your ear do you understand

yes yes I'm talking to all of you yeah

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music] [Applause]

that was really a darling us stick is

we're going to get harmonies like this now be available we drove an early night

Oh me as well I'll feel tomorrow I'm so I'm sorry

Kenny Kelly can I just say something - no kanya out

so sorry for a human that you would love g*ng it's all about something I am gay

please one Pina Colada wait for making his mind off by not true I mean our

suffers from prejudice soo just because I like older women but is just a preference in what I've

been well I think I think I'm going to be sick but me I'm a bucket no no how

about go Kenneth Liam oh thank you so

much for all your darkness of Kenneth Kenny

in fact he's all players of tomorrow morning right oh yeah

thank you thank you so much sunbae right I need a

drink NATO apart chuckling oh my god we forgot

about you don't worry about me I'm there now yeah you look like you've been

thrown from a poster oh no I didn't get the boss I walk walk from our country well when you weren't in the Africa oh

it's such a lovely there and they stopped out for it again across the Lord

it's all protected mayor eight hours Oh Jacqueline I am so sorry

oh don't worry I didn't walk all the way I gotta let some elk impale to tell our

minister from a very much armor are given some feverish trouble so I have I

just bring in this debt for the last 10 to 12 miles

[Music] we forgot Jacqueline me what about you I

would little supposed to get from the air force it recognized what was I supposed to do wait there all day

[Music]

I know are you okay yeah I'm fine thank

you I need to get back to me I'll tell but I'm not feeling too well

where are you saying the belt or oh oh

mama some fish in the cab yeah great thanks I'm I'm Ryan I'm a little fat

come on let's get you you safe with me

I'm sure you don't make a bit att*ck in your men off well today the half with

more laughs next to join comedian John Bishop as he hosts new the nightly show with tonight's guest cult b*at stuff

they rectly and over on ITV be next tonight Gemma has some big news for the group and you

girl amber continues to crawl to stir in you The Only Way Is Essex

[Music]