07x11 - Christmas

[bunniefuu]

FEMALE DISPATCHER ON RADIO: One-Adam-. One-Adam-, a in progress.

One-Adam-, handle code .

[SIREN WAILING]

Did you get all your shopping done?

-Yeah. You? -No. I like to wait till the last minute.

More exciting that way.

-Also cheaper. -I like the crowds.

Makes it more like Christmas.

Looks like old Sam got stuck with a forest.

In a few hours, he'll be lucky if he can give them away.

-You get one yet? -Yeah.

-How much? -Fifteen bucks.

You should have waited.

DISPATCHER: One Adam-, One Adam-.

Unknown trouble. Whitmore.

One Adam-, roger.

We got a complaint about the noise.

Noise? That's music!

Your neighbors must not think so.

I guess I am a little out of practice.

It's a very complicated instrument, you know.

Takes a lot of coordination.

[RESUMES PLAYING THE BAGPIPES]

Yes sir, I can see that.

-What's your name, sir? -George Atkinson.

It might help if you played inside, Mr. Atkinson.

Oh, I can't do that.

It's very close in there.

I'm sure it gets hot in there, Mr. Atkinson.

But it's either practice in there or not practice at all.

Oh, I can't do that.

You wouldn't want me to disappoint them would you.

What do you mean?

They're gonna close up Gardenvale.

The old folks home down the street, they're gonna shut it down.

They're broke. Kicked out in the street, that's what's gonna happen.

And not one of them has got enough money coming in to get by on their own.

A stray cat couldn't get by on the little social security they get.

That's why I can't disappoint 'em.

This is their last Christmas together.

And it isn't going to be a very happy occasion.

Well, I was going to go get them a tree

and go over there later to cheer them up with a little Christmas music.

Somebody has got to take care of those old people.

Well, practice quietly, okay?

-I'll go inside. -That ought to do it.

I guess I should have taken up the flute.

If you want to pick up a Christmas tree for your friends,

you might try the lot over on Ventura at Hayworth.

Might get a bargain over there.

Yeah, I saw it. Thanks for the tip.

And thanks for coming by.

Enjoyed talking to you.

You really think Sam'll give him a deal on a tree?

Yeah. Especially if we get there first and talk to Sam.

DISPATCHER: All units in the vicinity and One Adam-.

A GTA just occurred. Sherman Way.

A green panel truck with radioactive chemicals.

California license -Ida.

One Adam-, handle code .

One Adam-, roger.

Hey, Officer. It happened so fast.

I backed the truck up to the dock,

loaded it, and went in to get these warning signs...

We hang them on the sides of our trucks to warn the public.

Just like the law says.

I was gone two minutes, that's all! Two lousy minutes.

I came out on the dock just as they were driving off.

-Did you see who it was? -A couple of teenage boys.

Can you describe them?

Fifteenish. One of them has blond hair.

That's about all I noticed.

How dangerous are the chemicals, Mr. Conway?

That depends on whether or not they open them.

It's just like this stuff here.

The hospitals use it to give treatments.

It's Beta radiation.

And not dangerous as long as it's shielded by these lead containers.

How many cylinders in a case?

Sixteen. Only one case was on the truck.

What happens if they open 'em?

That depends on how long they're exposed,

and how close they are.

It might not k*ll them right away

but twenty years from now, maybe they'd get a cancer or something.

For sure, somebody will make a big stink and blame the whole thing on me.

No matter how careful I was.

One Adam-. Request any available air unit to meet me on Tac-.

DISPATCHER:One Adam-, roger. Any available air unit meet One Adam- on Tac-.

MAN: Air to one Adam-, go.

One Adam- to Air . We have a bright green panel truck,

California license -Ida.

Two male juvenile suspects, last seen Westbound on Vanowen

from Sherman Way.

Truck contains radioactive chemicals.

Roger. E.T.A. your vicinity three minutes.

One Adam-, roger.

If those kids get b*rned or poisoned by radiation,

it's their own fault, isn't it?

I mean, they stole a truck, didn't they?

I can't be held responsible for what happens to them, can I?

How could I know something like this was gonna happen?

-How could I know? -You left the keys in the ignition.

I shouldn't have.

Take it easy, Mr. Conway. Nobody's hurt yet.

Kids!

They're bound to wonder what's inside those cans.

If they try to find out, it's not going to be much of a joy ride.

MAN:Air- to One Adam-.

One Adam- to Air-. Go, Air-.

Your truck is parked off the road on Whitman near the Los Angeles River.

Two male juveniles are over the fence, heading west

along the wash. They may be your suspects.

Roger, Air-.

Two missing.

One Adam-. Request a special unit to handle radioactive material.

Whitman at the Los Angeles River.

DISPATCHER: One Adam-, roger.

One Adam- to Air-. Where are those kids?

They're in an aqueduct, yards west of your location.

I don't see another way out, so they still must be inside.

Roger. Air-.

[TAPPING]

Hold it! Don't open that can.

It's radioactive. It could k*ll you.

Listen to me and don't do anything stupid.

Don't open that can.

I don't believe you. You're just trying to scare us.

Don't open that can.

We didn't mean any harm. We just wanted to take a ride in the truck.

Come out of there now.

Okay, we're coming out.

Put the can on the ground, put your hands on top of your heads,

and come out slowly.

-What will happen to us now? -We have to take you to the station.

Is what you said true? About what's in the cans?

Yup.

Rotten luck.

You could have been dead.

Slide over.

One Adam-. Code Six, at the block Tip Top.

One Adam-, roger.

Hi. Oh!

Glad you fellows came along. Maybe you can give me a hand.

-This your car? -Yes, yeah. My car.

Would you guys happen to have a little gas you could spare?

Let me see your driver's license and vehicle registration.

Yeah. My registration.

I have it right here.

The registration.

[STAMMERING] And the driver's... See, I was just...

This is my own car.

Here we go. License right in here.

License and registration right here.

You notice that... That the...

I don't think he believes me. I was just...

See my car was just eh...

Do you smell me?

I mean it. Can you smell me?

I have an odor... Can you smell me?

-Gardenias? -Perfume.

Problem is, it isn't my wife's.

So, uh...

I can't go home smelling like this.

It's all over the suit, you know?

I was thinking, maybe I could tell her I was in a department store

and got sprayed by a perfume sample...

What do you think?

Is that right? No, wrong.

That's why I need the gas. My second thought you see,

was a little more logical. I thought I'd tell her I had car trouble.

You know, busted fuel line, something like that...what do you think?

And the gas, I get from the car was completely all over my body

and obliterated the perfume smell.

-You were right, Mr. Edwards. -That's my name.

Do you mind telling me what you were doing?

I got to get rid of the smell.

See, if you could smell...

-I tell you what I would do. -Tell me.

I'd buy her a bottle of the same perfume and a dozen roses.

I didn't say it wasn't worth bucks, I said I couldn't afford to pay that much.

-Hiya, fellas. -Hi, guys.

You're wasting my time, Pop.

I'll make it seven. Not a chance.

Be with you guys in a minute. This guy's a dead b*at.

I'm not asking for charity. I'm negotiating!

Then why are you telling me a sob story about a bunch of old geezers.

This ain't a charity. This is a business!

Eight. And that's my final offer.

No way.

Then I'll take my business somewhere else.

Okay you got a deal. Eight bucks.

Negotiating!

I'm starving, and he goes to sleep at night on a mattress full of money.

This should do it.

What is this a joke?

It's a valuable coin. A S Buffalo nickel an Indianhead, in fine condition.

Come back when you locate the rest of his body.

It's worth at least eight dollars.

In fact, I included a little extra to cover delivery.

In the first place, I don't deliver.

In the second place, all I see is a nickel.

Let's see $. more.

Can I take a look at that?

I'll give you ten for it.

Wait a second!

No deal. That's my coin.

-But you said... -Sorry, all sales are final.

There's your tree. Cash and carry. Get it out of here.

I don't have a car.

You gonna give me another sob story?

You gentlemen have a car.

-It's against regulations. -It'll only take you two minutes.

And it is Christmas.

Come on. You don't want to disappoint the old folks, do you?

Not on Christmas Eve.

We could tie it on the roof.

I'm sorry, Mr. Atkinson. We can't do it.

Would you pardon us for a minute?

Pete, it's only two blocks and we could stay off the main streets.

Sure. And we could even get eight tiny reindeer to tow us.

We don't have to put it on the roof. We could put it in the trunk.

No one will ever know.

Sam! Get that tree off the roof!

Hey come on, Malloy! It's their last Christmas together!

-Aw, come on, Pete. -No way.

WOMAN: Help! Police! Thank heavens I found you.

I've been running for two blocks.

-What's wrong? -There's a robbery going on there.

-Where? -The liquor store that side of the street.

He has a g*n!

Talk to you later about the tree, Sam.

-Hold it! -Wait a minute, man. I'm the owner.

-You missed him by this much! -Are you all right?

Just a little poorer, is all.

I was about to close up, do some Christmas shopping.

-How many were there? -Just one. A pro.

Wore gloves and a ski mask, used a blue steel ..

-How tall? -About your size, little skinnier.

Wore a blue zipper jacket and levis.

Did he have a car?

Yeah. But I didn't see it. He told me to lie on the floor

and that's what I did.

I heard it drive off, though, it had a really bad muffler.

-Which way did he go? -West. That way.

Okay, thanks.

One Adam-, requesting a clear frequency for broadcast.

Well, you guys just missed him.

Third time this year I been hit.

Code . You guys really got the Christmas spirit.

-What do you mean? -What is that? Mistletoe on the roof?

Wait till you see it with the decorations on it.

You could get some of the spray stuff, you know, make it look like snow.

Nah. I like 'em natural.

Looks nice. You think Mac will let us have one?

Okay, Santa's helper. Let's get out of here.

[g*n sh*ts FIRED]

Stay down, lady.

One Adam-. sh*ts fired at Lankershim.

sn*per on the roof at Lankershim.

Request any available supervisor meet us at the location.

Approach from the east.

Wait, please.

Please don't sh**t. Please wait.

It's my husband! He's stoned and he's trying to get himself k*lled.

You mean, he's trying to get other people k*lled. Now, stay down!

Please. Don't hurt him. That's up to him.

[SOBBING]

Come and get me!

Police! Freeze! All right, drop the g*n.

-Drop it! -Don't sh**t.

Step up on the side walk.

Face down on the ground, hands out to the sides, legs spread.

What will happen to him now?

He'll be taken to the county hospital and examined,

and probably kept there for observation.

No chance I could have gone with him, huh?

No, ma'am.

Tomorrow, maybe? I don't want him to be alone tomorrow.

I don't think you'll be able to see him.

He's really a good man.

Really, he is.

It's just that he's been out of work so long.

Well, you know how it is at Christmas.

He just couldn't take it anymore.

You know what he called it?

The big black Silent Nightblues.

Thank you for not hurting him.

Oh. Merry Christmas.

Okay. Let's get the paperwork done

so we can get back to Sam's before he closes.

-Nobody got hurt, Mac. -Good.

-Nice work. -Thanks.

A funny thing happened.

I thought you fellas would like to hear about it.

Yeah, sure.

A citizen called me on the phone

to say that she was driving by a tree lot and saw a black and white

unit parked there with a Christmas tree on it.

She wasn't complaining you understand...

She just wanted me to dispatch another unit to pick up

and deliver a tree for her.

I said she must be mistaken.

I mean, that sort of thing is against the rules.

None of my boys would pull a stunt like that.

-Don't you agree, Malloy? -I certainly do.

Well, I'm glad it wasn't you two guys.

I mean that's sort of a bonehead play.

Malloy, if you find out who's doing it,

do them a favor and straighten them out before it gets to me.

-Sure will. -Okay.

See you later.

And nobody will ever know.

Hi.

If you guys are looking for bargains, you came to the right place.

-I bought my tree yesterday. -You didn't buy it from me.

I can't afford your prices.

How much you asking for that one?

This morning it was dollars.

At noon it was . Right now I can let you have it for .

-How about this one? -That's sold, to the old duffer.

When you guys wouldn't help him, he said

he'd go home and try to find somebody to lug it for 'em.

If he ain't back in half an hour, it's going to be up for grabs.

He already paid for it.

It's cash and carry. I sell 'em, I don't move 'em.

We could take it over there, Pete.

-You don' t give up, do you? -I'll give you a hand.

-Twenty for this one, huh? -That's right.

Sam, I'll give you five. That's my final offer.

Take it. Five bucks is better than nothing.

Give me a hand, will you, partner?

Oh, it's you. It's you.

And you have brought the tree.

I was going to give up being able to get it at all!

No trouble. It was on the way.

Look, here is what we'll do.

Let me go in and get things ready, kind of set things up.

Then you fellows come in.

It'll be a kind of surprise.

But come in the main entrance, give me a couple of minutes.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

Thought you guys would be here and gone by now.

We got caught in traffic.

What are you doing here? Thought you didn't deliver.

I don't. Just doing a little last minute hustling, is all.

The old geezer said he didn't have any decorations,

I figured I could unload some on them.

Drastic reduction, big discount.

You're all heart, Sam.

Fella's got to make a buck.

I don't know, Sam. You shattered my illusions.

I thought there really was a Scrooge.

There's also a Santa Claus.

I let you guys con me out of a tree, didn't I?

If you got any bells, start jingling.

[BAGPIPE PLAYING CHRISTMAS MUSIC]